Squirrel Won't Let Woman Leave Her Home

The Dodo

This woman is in a "hostage situation" with a squirrel. She tries three different strategies to try and escape — but when the squirrel brings her babies, it's double the trouble. We spoke with Agata who walked us through the entire situation.

Transcript

00:00Glenda has been keeping me in a hostage situation since 2020.

00:04This is Glenda. She's a squirrel, obviously.

00:07I am her prisoner.

00:10Glenda, I'm just trying to leave my apartment.

00:13If I accidentally leave the door open, she has no problem coming inside.

00:17Hi, Glenda.

00:18I don't think Glenda wants to be my roommate.

00:21I believe that if I let her live here, I'll come home to changed locks

00:25and an eviction notice scribbled by her tiny little creepy hands.

00:30This is the day we met four years ago.

00:33I was just going in for my morning coffee and she just popped up in the kitchen.

00:37Oh, okay. I guess I should start wearing pants.

00:39She figured out the lay of the land pretty quickly and now knows every window in my apartment.

00:48For a while, I thought maybe I'm her TV,

00:51but if that's the case, she has definitely lost the remote.

00:55It's a serious problem because I can't even leave the house anymore.

00:59Glenda, you're being a weirdo.

01:00I decided I have to do something about it.

01:06I had to cat sit for my friends once,

01:08and I thought maybe this will be a great opportunity for Glenda to just back off and chill out.

01:14But she just seduced them and they became best friends.

01:18The cats did not scare her when I'm about to leave the apartment.

01:21She knows I'm easily manipulated and weak, so she takes full advantage of that.

01:26I tried to negotiate with Nuts.

01:29Look at her, freaking out.

01:31It's a Nut emergency.

01:33This is how we do it.

01:36It usually gives me enough time for a quick escape,

01:39but then she completely destroys my plans trying to hide this treasure.

01:44There's never enough Nuts.

01:46Never enough Nuts.

01:50Sometimes I go dig him up.

01:51Sometimes I go dig him up.

01:53You know, Nuts are expensive, and she seems to think I'm Jeff Bezos.

01:57So I re-gift them, hoping that she doesn't realize.

02:00But she just re-pots them.

02:02Thrifted almonds is not her jam.

02:04So as you can tell, the negotiations are going terribly.

02:08You might think, hey, this is cute.

02:09It's just Glenda.

02:11But no, Glenda brings all her boyfriends to the yard.

02:14There's been Glen 1, Glen 2, Glen 3.

02:18They bring their own Nuts, if you know what I mean.

02:20Oh my god, it's a mini Glenda.

02:24In the spring, she brings her babies around,

02:26and they learn very quickly that I'm a total sucker.

02:31But like, seriously, how can you resist this?

02:38You probably can't tell by now, but I have fully given in.

02:42Since she's a very hardworking mother, I figured I'll get her her own apartment.

02:46She's done a few walkthroughs.

02:48I'm just waiting for her to sign the lease.

02:51So yeah, Glenda can be an absolute menace.

02:55But it's okay.

02:56I love her.

03:05Don't do that.

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