What it’s like inside a domestic abuse refuge

The Independent

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00:00So, as a refuge, we offer safe accommodation and a path to freedom for somebody that is

00:12suffering from domestic abuse.

00:13We offer safe houses, so they are manned by 24-7 staff who are available throughout that

00:20whole time to support them through their journey, so that it's initially when they come to us

00:24and then all the way to the point that they leave us.

00:27We do practical support in terms of helping them get new clothing.

00:31We do a scheme where we're helping to get them back into employment, so they get some

00:35CV writing skills and they get some interview techniques with somebody as well.

00:39We buy them clothing to attend the interview, so that will help them open up hopefully future

00:44kind of prospects for them.

00:46We help with things like benefits, we'll go through the family court system with you,

00:50we will help you for police interviews, we will help you get re-registered at a doctor's,

00:56anything you need will be managed by us.

00:59And throughout that time we offer emotional support, so that might be things like counselling

01:03and the Freedom Programme.

01:05The Freedom Programme is giving an overall experience of looking at the dominator and

01:15the friend, so that they can have a clear difference in their sort of relationships,

01:21and looking at the sort of positives and the negatives and the red flags to sort of

01:25notice, to sort of understand that it's not their fault, because quite often the women

01:32are saying, you know, I did that, it was my fault that I did that, so it's about empowering

01:38them in moving forward, understanding it's not their fault.

01:42You literally see them have lightbulb moments through the programme, and I think the confidence

01:50that actually it's not their fault.

01:51And also giving confidence to new clients, like coming in as well, you sort of hear conversations

01:56going on that it's okay, like, you know, I've been where you are, look where I am now, this

02:02is all sort of like quite a normal sort of process.

02:06And children, I'm assuming, may have like iPads or phones, have we made sure?

02:09Yeah, technology's all been checked.

02:10Perfect.

02:11Yeah, so I think it's the only oldest one's got the iPad.

02:13Safeguarding is everything we do, it's literally our priority at all times, so we, even at

02:18the initial referral stage, when somebody calls us looking for a refuge space, we run

02:22through several safety questions then, so it's things like checking is there any tracking

02:26devices that have been put on their phone, we would ask that they leave any devices behind

02:30such as old mobiles, tablets of the children's, iPads.

02:33We advise them to check their car for trackers, to make sure that nothing has been put on

02:37there or any kind of software.

02:39We ask them to come off all social media, because even things like Snapchat can literally

02:43give you the exact location, so we have to stop everything and make it as safe as possible

02:48before they even leave to come to us.

02:50We wouldn't accept anybody from less than a 25 mile radius, just because for us, the

02:55further away they are, the safer they are, and we close down their banks, we close down

02:59any previous things like connector cards, which can show you exactly what shop you then

03:03went and shopped at in Sainsbury's, so it's a complete, almost rewrite of their life as

03:09well in changing as much as we can to ensure their safety.

03:12This is the home for our survivors, so we don't wear uniform, it's very relaxed, it's

03:16very welcoming, it's kind of made by them and shaped by them, so for example, some of

03:22the artwork on the walls is done from previous survivors that were here.

03:25We have a lot of previous survivors that come and volunteer with us and kind of share their

03:29experiences with current survivors.

03:31It's kept as homely and welcoming as possible, and even at the initial stage when they arrive,

03:37we fundraise to put welcome packs in their rooms, so it's all brand new bedding, pots,

03:42pans, toiletries, toys for the children, a new teddy bear for the children, and then

03:47all of that stuff is there, so they use it whilst they're in refuge, and then when they

03:50leave us, sort of six, eight months later, they take that with them on the next step

03:54in their journey.

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