Freedom from compulsive need for company || Acharya Prashant (2020)

Acharya Prashant

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Transcript

00:00Namaste, I am Bhakti Sharma, an open water swimmer from India, the youngest swimmer in

00:14the world and first swimmer from Asia to swim in four different oceans including eight different

00:20seas.

00:22My mother and I also hold the world record of being the first mother-daughter duo in

00:27the world to swim across the English Channel.

00:31The President of India has honoured me with Tenzing Norgay National Adventure Award for

00:36my accomplishments in the field of water adventure.

00:58Companionship in this journey, satsang or a community, it's very very difficult to find

01:07people who you can talk to about your experiences when you seek out on this journey.

01:16So it becomes a very lonely conquest.

01:19It is a lonely conquest because eventually it is a conquest of the self but I feel in

01:26the beginning that kind of community is very important or the more you continue, the more

01:37your friends actually also start becoming fewer because they don't understand the things

01:43that you are saying.

01:44So if you could talk a little bit about that.

01:47It's a lonely conquest and if you have to carry on the conquest then you have to conquer

01:53loneliness itself.

01:57It's not as if it's a lonely conquest.

02:00Loneliness is to be conquested.

02:04Because if the feeling of loneliness persists then it will drive you towards the company

02:13of undeserving people.

02:18And that is exactly opposite to the purpose of spirituality.

02:23When we say that the mind is polluted, corrupted, conditioned and that's why we need to be spiritual

02:30to come to the pure mind.

02:33It becomes pertinent to ask what corrupted the mind in the first place.

02:40The fundamental thing is of course the physical body that took birth.

02:44But then after that it is the companionship of others that corrupted us, is it not?

02:50It is the others, others meaning the entire world, the world is the other.

02:56It is the others who corrupted us.

02:59So the problem itself is the others, the others, the otherness that we are carrying within.

03:06That itself is the problem.

03:08Now if that otherness is the problem and to solve the problem we still depend on others.

03:19Then hardly solves the problem.

03:22In fact we are just then continuing the problem in another name.

03:28Therefore I think one has to be cautious when it comes to companionship in the spiritual journey.

03:39To begin with, yes, probably you require a mate or two because there would be new things,

03:47new experiences and one requires both affirmation and support.

03:56So maybe yes, you require a person or two around you.

04:01But you know what happens, as you move on, you slowly find that the very presence of

04:08a support group is the hindrance in the movement.

04:18So it goes on dropping.

04:21That however does not mean that one keeps on becoming more and more of a loner.

04:27What that means is that the compulsive need for companionship is no more.

04:32In fact, now you are more open to companionship because now your relationship with others

04:40is not need-based.

04:41When we say that we need someone around us, then it's a thing of need, right?

04:50I require him, the motive is selfish.

04:53When that selfish motive is no more, then you can freely and selflessly connect to the

05:00other and that allows you probably to connect with a vast number of people in a very very

05:07healthy way.

05:09So it's not as if the spiritual person becomes a loner.

05:12The spiritual person is an outrightly community person.

05:18Think of a Rishi who is teaching his students and also meeting people who come to visit

05:30him or think of a Buddha who has established an entire organization, the Sangh.

05:42Think of the number of people who are associated with the Sangh and the entire movement that

05:46is taking place, thousands of monks and those monks have all to be managed and they are

05:52all corresponding with Buddha and then there are the general people who are coming to meet

05:58him and seek guidance.

06:00So you are living in company and community all the time in a very very healthy way as

06:05a spiritual person, right?

06:10So while it is alright to probably have one or two good friends with whom you share these

06:16things, progressively since as the self changes, so does the need for company or community

06:27and so does the nature of relationships.

06:30When we say Vasudha have Kutumbakam and such things, ultimately that is not valid for the

06:42common worldly man.

06:45The common worldly man does not have the Vasudha as his Kutumb.

06:49Vasudha is the earth, Kutumb is the family.

06:52The common man has a very small and limited family.

06:55The entire Vasudha is Kutumb only for the spiritual person.

07:01His family is large, very large.

07:07It's a very common refrain against the spiritual pursuit that if you go the spiritual way then

07:17you will be left totally lonely.

07:23I believe that comes because like you said, as the self changes, the nature of relationships

07:29also change.

07:30So personally I felt that the love I experience when I am a little bit more aware is very

07:39different from the love that I experienced before that.

07:45The aware love does not need me to bind another in a relationship or to have expectations.

07:53It flows very freely and a lot of times it's very difficult to communicate that kind of

07:59love towards the other and even more difficult to make the other person understand why the

08:05confines of a normal relationship cannot encapsulate this love.

08:11I cannot give you a label of a friend, a boyfriend, a husband, a mother, a father because

08:18I am not feeling that towards you.

08:21The love is completely different.

08:24And you know, that's the dilemma, the burden or the pain that the spiritual person has

08:32to willingly bear because as you advance in your spiritual dimension, you will find

08:42that the ones you love, the ones you relate to, they have to be taken along.

08:52At least that would be the intention from your side.

08:55That might not be the intention from their side.

08:57You will want that because you now know that this journey is something really important,

09:04worthy.

09:05You want others too to undertake this journey.

09:09But as you will relate to them with this objective, you will meet a lot of resistance, a lot of

09:16misunderstanding, a lot of things will happen and those things have to be taken in a stride.

09:28So it's quite a colorful journey.

09:29It's not devoid of the entire spectrum, the entire rainbow, all the colors that relationships

09:37come with.

09:38So all those things are present to a spiritual person as well, but in a much more sublime

09:45form, in a much more life-giving form.

09:48Those things happen.

09:50It's a very naive kind of misperception that the life of the spiritual person is just pristine

10:02white, like a white sari or something.

10:08No colors, no blemishes.

10:11One experiences every single color that is available in the spectrum.

10:18In fact, the life of the common householder is probably about living in just two or three

10:25colors.

10:26The spiritual person actually lives in an unbelievable diversity of colors.

10:35The colors are much brighter.

10:43The colors are much brighter and several of those colors are abhorrent to the social person.

10:54So the social person really does not dare venture into those colors.

11:01Some of those colors are like divine gifts.

11:05They come only to those who really deserve them.

11:09Otherwise, it's very easy to live your life within a very narrow spectrum and then just

11:15pass away.

11:1660 years, 80 years is not too long a time.

11:19You can easily just while it away.

11:32My questions have started dropping.

11:36Good, fine.

11:38Nice conversation.

11:43And I wish you all the inner help that you might need in the way that is right for you.

12:01I recently read about your pursuits and some of your accomplishments.

12:11So, in fact, just yesterday, so felt good.

12:17And those pursuits are the things that led me towards the spiritual journey.

12:26They created so much dissatisfaction that I had to seek peace somewhere else.

12:35Wonderful.

12:36As a seeker, as a person, and as an Indian woman, I like, I admire the way you have taken

12:49and the distance you have covered.

12:53Good.

12:56Thank you so much.

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