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FRANCE 24 English
  • 10/22/2024

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Transcript
00:00Well, it's the fall school holiday here in France, and for many kids, it's a time to
00:04forget about classes and homework and just kick back and relax.
00:09But for many kids today, relaxing means playing around with their phones.
00:13We're going to take a closer look at what parents can do to try and keep that phone
00:16use in check today with our digital parenting expert, Elizabeth Milovidov, who joins me
00:20now live from London.
00:22Hi, Elizabeth.
00:23Hi there, Jeannie.
00:24How are you?
00:25How are you?
00:26So many parents we know often tear their hair out over their kids' use of social media,
00:30particularly things like Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat.
00:33So first of all, I want you to kind of break it down a bit for us.
00:36Let's go through them one by one and give us some tips on how to stay on top of each
00:39of these.
00:40Let's start with Instagram.
00:41Sure.
00:42So with Instagram, I think I want parents to also just realize, you know, you can do
00:46this, so be calm.
00:48So with Instagram, I want you to think about privacy.
00:51I want you to think about controlling those interactions and also the type of content
00:55that your children are putting out there that your teens are also seeing.
00:59So again, take a step back, and the only way that you're going to be able to find these
01:02things out is if you are actually talking to your teens and asking them about their
01:07activities online.
01:08So first you said Instagram, what's next?
01:10So first, but just a quick question about that.
01:12So the privacy settings, are they difficult to figure out on Instagram?
01:15I mean, how do you go about that if you're a bit of a newbie?
01:17Oh, I love this question.
01:18Thank you, Jeannie.
01:19So if you are having any sort of difficulty, then please go onto your website, go onto
01:24Instagram, and look for the parenting center.
01:28So any of the family centers for Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, they will walk you through
01:33the steps for you to understand how to do privacy settings, how to do parental controls.
01:38It's all there, and they usually do screenshots, so page by page to guide you through, but
01:43you have to ask.
01:44I think that's exactly it.
01:45I think a lot of people are so overwhelmed or scared by something they don't know that
01:48they don't want to ask, but good to know that Instagram makes it easy.
01:51Okay, that's for that.
01:52This is the big one in my house.
01:53How about TikTok?
01:54Right.
01:55So TikTok for sure.
01:56It is a big one.
01:57And I will say that with the algorithm, with the challenges, I mean, there's all sorts
02:01of things that our kids can be seeing that we don't want them to see.
02:04So the three really important things here is thinking about family pairing.
02:09So that is something that TikTok has put together for parents to be able to pair the accounts
02:15to guide their teens as they use this.
02:19Also privacy.
02:20You're never going to get away from this.
02:21Privacy is always the most important thing.
02:23We're going to go into those privacy settings.
02:25We are going to make sure that the For You page, that's what your child is able to see,
02:30that it's really just friends that they're following.
02:33And then lastly, that content creation.
02:35What is your child creating?
02:37What are they putting out there?
02:39Because TikTok is that place for singing and dancing, and also they can earn some money
02:43there, too.
02:44So we really want to guide them into your expectations of what the type of content looks
02:51like that they should be putting out.
02:52As well as what they are seeing.
02:54So just a quick question on that family pairing mode.
02:57So that's a way that the parent from their own phone can keep an eye on what the child
03:00is doing on their phone with TikTok?
03:03Exactly.
03:04Exactly.
03:05And so again, this was something that TikTok, they listened to parents saying, hey, we're
03:08not quite understanding what our children are doing.
03:10They provided these measures, again, as most of the social media platforms do have measures
03:16and centers and guides to help parents, but you have to get in there.
03:20Family pairing is not simple, but it is doable.
03:23Okay.
03:24I'm going to, next time we talk, Elizabeth, I'll tell you how I did on that one.
03:27I'm going to do that as soon as I get home.
03:28Okay.
03:29Another one that a lot of parents, of course, talk about, I think it seems to hit maybe
03:31older kids, is Snapchat.
03:33Right.
03:34So Snapchat, right.
03:35The three things that we're talking about here is who can contact you.
03:39Snap maps.
03:40Oh my goodness.
03:41So a snap map is a way that with geolocalization that your children can be seen.
03:45So we can see where they are.
03:48And the last one is probably snap streaks.
03:50So this is where your children are taking snaps or they're continuing their stories
03:54and they are trying to have a streak, which can lead to a bit of excessive use.
03:59So you want to talk to them about that, especially when you're on vacation, because they might
04:03want to keep those streaks going.
04:05And if you take the phone to where they're going to say, oh mom, oh dad, what have you
04:08done to me?
04:09Okay.
04:10Let's talk about talking.
04:11Are there any words, specific things parents should say, a good way to start these conversations
04:14with their kids?
04:15Oh my goodness.
04:16For sure.
04:17So anytime that we are looking at conversation starters, we're looking at, you know, how,
04:21how does this content make you feel?
04:23If you're seeing anything upsetting, I believe you're looking at a few right now that are
04:27on the screen for, for parents.
04:29But the basic idea is to get in there and, and find out what their online lives are about.
04:34But you're not doing this in any sort of authoritative, you know, I'm here to tell you everything
04:40way.
04:41You're curious and you want to share with them.
04:42You want to be a role model.
04:43You want to let them know about your values and your expectations.
04:46Yeah, I agree.
04:48I think curiosity, at least in my household can, can go a long way.
04:50Just before you go, Elizabeth, give us some concrete examples of things that perhaps work
04:53for you or other people, you know.
04:55Yeah.
04:56So the biggest one that I have just discovered with parents, you know, in my digital parenting
05:00community sharing with me is this idea of, do you need a hug, an ear or advice?
05:06And so what this means is that you just asked your teen, what do they need from you?
05:10Instead of us diving in there trying to give them advice or tell them to get off, ask them
05:14because sometimes they just want us to listen.
05:17Sometimes they just want a hug and sometimes they do want our advice.
05:21Another tip that I've had from years ago was this idea, don't go into lecture mode.
05:26Do not sit there and speak to your child for an hour and give them a 60 minute lecture.
05:30I just heard Elizabeth speaking about this.
05:32No, go in one minute a day for 60 days.
05:36Be consistent.
05:37How was your day online?
05:38How are you doing online?
05:39Hug, ear, support.
05:41How can I help you?
05:42All right.
05:43That's fantastic.
05:44That's all the advice from you, Elizabeth Malovi-Doug, our digital parenting expert.
05:47Thank you so much.
05:48And don't forget, if you want to get more information, there's a lot of great stuff
05:51on the digital parenting community on Facebook.
05:54Be sure to check it out.