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00:00We want to care so much.
00:03You guys are fighting because you do love each other.
00:05You're trying to protect it.
00:08I love him.
00:09I love Josh.
00:11We are soulmates.
00:12I believe it.
00:15That's why I'm here.
00:20I hope Josh and I can move past the problems.
00:25My daughter will be back soon.
00:27I'm worried because I've always had a problem with her.
00:30It's just something that happened in the past.
00:32But if my daughter really sees that Josh loves me,
00:35she'll be happy.
00:37Well, let's go ahead and kiss
00:38and then we'll get back on your heated floors.
00:40Yeah, that's so close.
00:54Oh my gosh.
00:55You're like a rollercoaster.
00:56This thing is like brutal.
00:57I've been living in Indonesia for about six weeks
01:14and it's harder than I thought it was going to be by far.
01:18Tata's parents cannot be the easiest to live with.
01:22I love them very much,
01:24but they can be very intrusive or controlling
01:28if you're within their bubble.
01:30Trying to have a love life in your parents' house is...
01:34It's not happening.
01:35It's not happening at all.
01:37And we don't even have the funds to move out if we wanted to.
01:43So we have to make a deposit today on the wedding, right?
01:47Yeah, we do.
01:48We're just hemorrhaging money because in about two weeks
01:52we are having our second marriage here in Indonesia.
01:55And all of this is really just feeling like a lot of pressure,
01:59a lot of stress and just a little bit too much.
02:03Are you excited?
02:04What do you think?
02:05I'm excited.
02:06Don't know how I feel about wearing some of those options I saw.
02:10Want to get dressed?
02:11Yeah.
02:12Yeah, let me dress this.
02:13It's going to be fun.
02:15Today we are going to go try on our Javanese wedding attire.
02:20This is what royalty used to wear way back when for weddings and stuff.
02:25Hi.
02:26Apparently this is what people wear nowadays to be a traditional Javanese wedding.
02:37It's a unique style.
02:40It's different.
02:44I'm ready, babe.
02:48Hi.
02:49You look cute.
02:51This is so big.
02:53You look good.
02:55I can't bend over.
02:58It's like layers upon layers of tightly wrapped cloth.
03:03Does it make my butt look good?
03:07You have to shake it.
03:09Yeah.
03:11I think James' outfits are really cute.
03:14I just don't know.
03:15Whatever he wears, I think he just looks good in it.
03:22The best part of this is it breathes.
03:25Family jewels are free.
03:27I like that.
03:31I feel weird.
03:32There's no way to say it.
03:33I'm wearing a dress.
03:34A dress with a bucket on my head.
03:36Do you want to try the second one?
03:38Okay.
03:39Wait a minute.
03:40Okay.
03:41This has been whirlwind getting this thing all set up so fast.
03:46Your parents jumped on that bandwagon fast.
03:48They're like, all right, we're doing it, let's do it.
03:50Yeah, they're really excited.
03:52It is really important for me to have a wedding ceremony here in Indonesia.
03:56Because when we have a wedding in the U.S.,
03:59this is kind of not a wedding that I wanted.
04:04It was a COVID, and we cannot invite a lot of people.
04:08And there's no one there from my family's side.
04:27So me and James agree that one day if we're in Indonesia,
04:31we're going to do a wedding ceremony for my family.
04:35Your dad got really involved once we started this stuff.
04:37He does.
04:38He likes to be really included.
04:41He doesn't care about anything, though.
04:42He doesn't care about money or budget.
04:44He's just like, let's just do everything, the most expensive.
04:47True.
04:48That's one thing with your dad that I always have trouble with,
04:50is he tries to control everything.
04:53We're paying for this wedding,
04:54so we're trying to keep the budget somewhere between $1,000 and $1,500.
04:59In Indonesia, $1,500 U.S., it's a lot.
05:05And Tata's dad has been pushing us to keep adding more and more things.
05:10He wants to add more guests.
05:11He wants to add very expensive entertainment, more expensive venue.
05:16We don't have the funds for that,
05:17and it's definitely starting to cause some grading between me and Tata's dad.
05:22It just annoys me that he doesn't ever listen to us.
05:24He always does whatever he wants,
05:26and that stresses me out about living with him.
05:29I feel like no matter what we do, I'm always walking on eggshells.
05:31Like, oh, I don't want to piss him off.
05:33Yeah, it's not the most comfortable living environment for me.
05:36I understand.
05:38But I'm just a little worried because
05:41just not actually making money or, like, helping my dad
05:45put banana chips either when we're home.
05:47So that's probably making him disappointed.
05:50Because every time all the kids going back home, they always help.
05:55Helping your dad with banana chips isn't going to help us make money.
05:58It isn't going to help us find a job.
06:01So...
06:02I think that's just an excuse.
06:05Because, like, right now, we just stay in my parents' house.
06:09Like, a hotel.
06:11It's free.
06:12I want, like, at least us help them a little bit
06:15making the banana chips.
06:21I know at this wedding, my dad put pressure on us.
06:26But also, I think James can learn to be a better son-in-law.
06:30He can respect the culture to help with the banana chips
06:34because I want him to be close to my parents.
06:37If I don't speak Indonesian fluently,
06:40I'm going to screw it up and cost them a bunch of money.
06:43Well, when I came to the States,
06:45I didn't speak any of your language.
06:47I learned.
06:48Because I want to.
06:50For you.
06:51And you're saying I don't try to learn Indonesian?
06:53Try a little harder.
06:55Like, sometimes without me there.
06:57To teach you, to translate for you all the time.
07:02That is just not fair.
07:04I never just threw you into anything in the United States.
07:07I never just told you, go figure it out on your own.
07:12Excuse me, ma'am.
07:13This is the second batch.
07:14Is it okay if I take a shower?
07:15Yes.
07:16Okay.
07:18Just a moment.
07:20I want to be seen first, is that okay?
07:21Yes.
07:22Yeah.
07:28I left the United States, came here, all for her.
07:32I've been learning as much Indonesian as I can,
07:35trying to make this all work.
07:37I feel like it counts for nothing.
07:42I can be buddy-buddy with your dad all I want.
07:44I can try to help him with banana chips,
07:46but is that helping us make money? No.
07:48Is that helping take care of you? No.
07:51And I know you don't look at the money side as much as I do,
07:55but it's a real thing that I have to deal with
07:58because at the end of the day,
07:59every man in our family is going to look at me as the failure.
08:04Not you.
08:05They're going to look at you as like,
08:06oh, the poor girl who has a s*** husband.
08:08That's what it's going to become.
08:10And you don't have to deal with that weight.
08:12That's what I get to carry every day.
08:13Those are the things I'm trying to figure out right now.
08:16And if I can't, then I don't belong here.
08:22No sexual intercourse for one month after the surgery.
08:26One month?
08:277,200 hours, babe.
08:29I almost had a heart attack.
08:31Can I please focus on my surgery?
08:41Let me look at your nose for the last time.
08:45Yeah, get a good look.
08:47Yes.
08:48You're so cute.
08:51Today is the day of my surgery, and I'm feeling so excited.
08:54I've wanted this for a while,
08:56and I'm glad that this day is finally here.
08:58Adonis, you be a good boy.
09:00Be a good boy, sweetie.
09:02What if he doesn't recognize me when I get back?
09:04He won't, babe.
09:06He won't recognize me?
09:08Let me look at your nose last time in this house.
09:10Stop looking at it.
09:11No, stop looking at it.
09:12Come on, let's go.
09:13We've got to go.
09:14I'm so anxious, babe.
09:16Yeah, I can see that.
09:20Sarper is so anxious about my surgery
09:23that it's actually taking the focus off of my surgery.
09:27Like, instead of preparing myself,
09:29I'm just trying to calm him down.
09:32The focus needs to be on me today
09:35and not about his anxiety.
09:37It is a bigger day for me, I think,
09:39because I feel more anxious than you.
09:41I know.
09:42You don't need to be nervous.
09:43Don't worry.
09:44I can't stop it, babe.
09:45I mean, the day came,
09:47thinking that you will be unconscious
09:49for three hours or four hours, whatever.
09:52Think like I'm taking a nap, a little nap.
09:55But always, I have the control.
09:57I can wake you up if you take a nap.
10:01Right now, I can't.
10:03After surgery, I'm not going to be my usual self.
10:06I'm not going to be serving Sarper.
10:08I'm not going to be entertaining him.
10:09I'm not going to be, you know, bubbly and happy.
10:11I'm going to be in pain.
10:13So I look at spending my recovery with Sarper
10:15as kind of a test.
10:16I really hope that he can step up
10:18because it's going to determine whether or not
10:21this is somebody that I can, you know,
10:23live the rest of my life with.
10:41What?
10:42That's ridiculous.
10:43And also, no sexual intercourse for one month
10:46after the surgery.
10:47One month?
10:48Yes.
10:49One month?
10:5030 days.
10:51Wait, why?
10:52That's so long.