ash vs. evil S1 - 41 - backstage pass to reality - video Dailymotion

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00:00Whoa!

00:01Why the hell are you on this property, and where's the book you stole from my family?

00:10Easy, Nancy Drew.

00:11What the hell are you guys doing, selling tickets?

00:13She's a Nobie, and she saved us from Fisher.

00:16Well, not all of us.

00:19Okay, all right.

00:21Well number one, it's my book.

00:23Has been for 30 years.

00:24Number two, I'm on your damn property, because I'm here to save a little something I call

00:27Earth.

00:29You know what I've been doing these past 30 years?

00:32Cleaning up your messes so they don't destroy a giant thing that everyone calls the Earth.

00:36And what have you accomplished in all these years?

00:41You put a chainsaw on your stump?

00:44Congratulations.

00:45You know, it's a lot harder than it looks.

00:48Name one other person you know that has a functioning chainsaw arm.

00:51This has to stop.

00:52You've got the Necronomicon, and you need to give it to me, so where is it?

00:56None of your beeswax.

00:58Hey, we'll tell you this, though.

00:59Pretty soon, it's gonna be six feet under.

01:00Oh, you're gonna bury it?

01:01Bet you're bippy.

01:02I found that out during a drug-fueled trip.

01:05So your entire plan to save the world comes courtesy of a bonghead?

01:08No.

01:09I didn't smoke the drug, lady.

01:10I drank the drug, which gave my mind a backstage pass to reality show.

01:14I'm gonna bury it in the basement, then I can finally say to Evil, hey, Evil, why don't

01:18you eat my butt?

01:19Wonderful imagery.

01:20But it won't work if you just bury the book.

01:24That's what my vision says.

01:26Then your vision is stupid.

01:27Yeah, you're right.

01:28It is kind of stupid.

01:30Almost as stupid as your stupid face.

01:36Do you say one more dumb thing?

01:38I'm gonna say a lot of dumb things.

01:43That didn't work.

01:45Okay, okay, kids.

01:46Break it up.

01:47All right?

01:48Just everyone take a deep breath, okay?

01:50Look, if the book is just buried like before, then some other fool like you can come along

01:56and use it.

01:57For the Necronomicon to be laid to rest, it has to be dismantled.

02:01Destroyed.

02:02Impossible.

02:03Tried it.

02:04With what?

02:05Your pea shooter and your power saw?

02:08Don't talk bad about Mo and Larry here.

02:10They've served me very well over the years.

02:12Sure.

02:13They can kill the body that Evil inhabits, but that spirit just keeps coming back, doesn't

02:17it?

02:19Maybe.

02:20Yeah.

02:21You see, the book and the evil that surrounds it really aren't affected by such things.

02:25Now, you gotta use it.

02:28The Kandarian dagger.

02:29I know what that is.

02:30Yeah, so why don't you show me the book, and we'll finally end this.

02:36I gotta talk to my peeps.

02:41All right, guys.

02:42What do you think?

02:43Okay, well, she did save our lives, and I think she smells kind of nice.

02:47Although, I haven't showered in a really long time, so I'm probably not the best judge.

02:51I don't know.

02:52I mean, if I've learned anything from you, Ash, it's that if something seems too good

02:56to be true, it probably is.

02:59And also, she doesn't smell that nice.

03:01Man, making decisions is so hard.

03:03Let's look on the bright side.

03:05We balls deep in this shit.

03:07There's nowhere to go but up.

03:09Yeah, up shit's creek.

03:11Without a paddle.

ash vs. evil S1 - 41 - backstage pass to reality

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