- 26/08/2024
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:30I
01:00Don't know where to put my face
01:02It doesn't seem to have put you off finding words for this brain teaser
01:06Key word undemocratic. What have you got?
01:10mount mate moan mound
01:14Ride rude crude nude
01:18Ride rude crude nude
01:22Ride rude crude nude
01:26Ride rude crude nude
01:30Rod run not rat
01:33Nice cute round dome and door mice
01:38I'm avoiding well, you can't wonder at it. We're stuck under your nose all the while
01:43I'm go anywhere these days evidently
01:46I told you about these two waitresses. I heard discussing their boyfriends in the pizza hut the other day discussing their boyfriends dimensions
01:54What do you think what dimensions look they weren't comparing hat sizes
02:03I'm putting up my salad bowl. Thank you very much
02:06To get a complex about it. You are what God made you exactly. I mean we don't even know
02:15You mean what God made me
02:18What's that supposed to mean?
02:20I'm not getting any complexes
02:23Glad to hear it. Nothing to get complexes about
02:29I don't believe these letters listen to this one
02:32Dear auntie Lucy
02:34Although we are both over 70 my husband and I still enjoy normal relations every Saturday night with the help of painkillers
02:41My husband is a little confused as to the subject of contraception and always keeps his cap on as a precaution
02:48Ten pound letter
02:51Why do people want to talk about things like that?
02:55Well with some people that's all they can do is talk. That's all some people are capable of
03:03What's the matter with you suddenly nothing what nothing
03:18Oh
03:20Another half hour. We'll be there bleak house with April and Vince
03:26Suppose anything will run to his usual form same as it always does whenever we're down there for a weekend
03:30She'll laugh like a simpleton and everything
03:32I say but no apparent reason while he goes out the back and talks to his cucumbers
03:39Thought when they moved down the coast to open a boarding house we got rid of them forever more but no
03:43Boarding house is more like a wildlife kingdom
03:46Things you see darting about round their skirting boards
03:50Inspecting the mattress is like a day out at Chessington Zoo in itself
03:56I
03:58Expect they'll put us up in that pokey little attic room again where you have to open the fan light to take your vest off
04:07Sorry
04:10Sorry
04:12I didn't say anything
04:14You were about to tell me to for God's sake give it a rest and stop moaning
04:18You go ahead if it makes you feel better
04:33Here we are you're dining with us tonight just
04:39Sorry
04:44Sorry about that she's next doors she can smell the fish stain on the chair
04:59Yes, of course we haven't seen the pair of you since he retired
05:05Okay
05:07We have our ups and downs, you know, oh, I love him to bits your Victor, don't you?
05:12I only have to look at him and he makes me laugh. It's the way he keeps coming out with things
05:16Yes, he does tend to
05:21Over here, we're at the captain's table everything all right for you
05:25Generally speaking. No, I've just been into the bathroom in the top landing and discovered a dead seagull in the lavatory
05:34It doesn't matter
05:36He's got that dry wet. I'm not joking. It's in there. I lifted up the seat and there it was staring at me
05:44One of his feet caught in that little lemon freshener thing
05:50I'm being serious for God's sake
05:56It must have flown through the window and fallen in the bowl
06:01Well, I didn't imagine it had come out of someone's bottom I
06:06Just wanted to know what you were going to do about it out of general academic interest
06:12There's a dead seagull in the top toilet, will you see to it, please?
06:27Sorry, I thought with Forsyth had just walked into the room
06:32I love him to bits. I'm sure right both of you Margaret. There's plenty more
06:45Sorry about that must be the cat I think I'm allergic
06:50Oh
06:59Gosh that's when this bed was last time. Look at this Frank. I feel she taught me how to you do
07:07Hard as a brick as usual
07:10What's that? What I saw something just scuttled across the top of that tall boy there
07:16The next time I come here, I'm gonna pack my elephant gun
07:21Are you kidding that brandy did you some good?
07:26What side do you want to sleep on I don't mind with
07:50a
08:02Show yeah, but you got rid of that. All right. Yes, of course those swing bin liners aren't made for comrades
08:10Tie them up and the beak keep sticking through
08:12Oh
08:19You'll have to get me some more of those anti-estimate well, I'll put their poison down by the nest
08:23I don't think they'll be doing it again. You give me a hand
08:26Put this back
08:36Didn't realize
08:40It's not here
08:43Talking yeah, you don't think we cannot find
08:56Good night Petra. Good night Marie. Good night
09:12Remaining apparently these two girls seem very nice speak very good English. We were just having a chat in the bathroom. Oh
09:21Yes, what about made you foam at the mouth whatever it was
09:27The usual was it
09:30Dimensions. Oh
09:33Damn and there's me forgot to pack the steel ruler again
09:38What steel ruler the one that's gone rusty through lack of use
09:56Breakfast nothing, but the best for Victor. There you go. There's coffee fruit juice
10:04We to big soggy with honey nice runny egg and a toasty crispy bun all done to a turn
10:12size of voting
10:17You make me laugh, oh by the way Margaret left early she's going to do some shopping and some sightseeing
10:26Sleep
10:28Yes, very well
10:32By the way
10:34Vince wants to see you later in the garden got something for you. Really. What is it?
10:40My lips are sealed
10:47How are you today darling, how's my topsy you'd like a nice little drink wouldn't you gosh you would
10:56Oh
11:05Good morning, my tasty greens time for breakfast. I haven't forgotten you there we are
11:15They hear every word you say, you know that every word
11:20And you respond as well. Don't you my little darling? Hey, I
11:24I don't suppose you've ever grown an organic cucumber
11:29Can't say I have Vince no, no, but it's not something you should dabble it unless you know what you're doing
11:35Who I've got something for you a little retirement present. It's down here
11:40Hey, yeah, what is it an organic compost heap?
11:44It's just a little something I ran up myself. You might like it
11:48You might not yeah, what do you think of that?
12:04Yes, it's a it's a gravestone
12:11You haven't got one already
12:19Six weeks he took me to do that
12:22I'm quite pleased with this grow work round the top. Yeah, very tricky that I'm slipped with a chisel. He bollocksed up the host
12:33Don't know what to say Vince I
12:36Suppose it might seem a bit morbid in some people's eyes, but I mean that's money. You won't have to fork out later on
12:42I guess that always used to be my trade stone masonry. I thought why not good quality piece of marble. They appreciate that
12:50Shame you haven't got your car with you still you can always leave it here with me until you need it
12:57Yes
13:00Yes, well perhaps I'll do that then Vince
13:05Thank you very much, you're very welcome
13:11Oh
13:20Have you been all day joyriding about the place
13:23There you know down the front round the shops bought a few cards
13:27About you me nothing much. I was force-fed wheat a big puree and sent us to death
13:35today really
13:41Oh
14:12Victor what are you doing? Take that off your head boiling Margaret? I have just put superglue on that glass
14:20Oh
14:40Brilliant
14:42Absolutely brilliant I
14:45Just wish for this to round off the day
14:47I prayed for this moment this joyous moment where I've got a a glass full of ink of bitter
14:53Welded to my forehead for all eternity
15:07They'll get it off in no time at all
15:14I
15:22Manage all right in the toilet. Yes. Thank you one hand. Yes. Thank you. I
15:38Suppose you can see their point. It's not an actual emergency as such
15:45And if we'd gone off and got stuck in the rush hour you'd only have felt worse
15:50Then says you'll drive you down to casualty first thing you feel better after a night's sleep. I expect so yes
16:09Oh, yes
16:11Very nice
16:14Must have taken you ages
16:16Officer I haven't filled in the second date on it. Thank you know
16:20When I'm going to go to give me a shout
16:23Soon knock that off for you
16:27No
16:30You know darling you I reckon it won't be long now will it
16:38Sorry
16:41Oh
16:44There we are there's your receipt and there's some ointment for your wrists and ankles
16:49It's very good most of the guests swear by it in that room
16:56They think you'd be down there alone then well I dropped him off at 9 it was like a madhouse then so
17:03Told me I'd better not wait. He'd make his own way back. Oh
17:06That's out of him now
17:10Oh Vince have we got some powder for the mattress in number seven
17:22No problems with the glass in what glass
17:27No, they have a special solvent they use it didn't take more than five minutes I
17:32Thought I'd walk back along the front then I met Petra Marie
17:36What's that on your neck? What that on the side of your neck? Where oh?
17:42Do you know where I got that in the bathroom last night? I thought I felt one of them bite me then
17:51Things just as well I got some more of this spray before they choose all to black
18:01I
18:10Use the shower
18:12But he's full of them chest money. Oh, what is the word?
18:17Nietzsche
18:18Nietzsche Oh midges. Oh, I've got a very thing here stand back. I'll deal with this. Oh, yeah
18:25There we go
18:32I
18:37Think they say they are on at the winter gardens
18:40With very clean
19:00I hope your private parts because
19:11Margaret open this door. What's going on? Do tell me I suppose this is called proving your manhood is it?
19:18What are you talking about?
19:21display of lust and lechery with Dracula's daughters
19:27Open this door. I'm not sure that I dare to such a rampant super stallion
19:36Nothing you can do anything about evidently
19:40Right, but I might as well go home. Shall I don't seem to be able to do anything here
20:10I
20:41I
20:56Found these but they're a bit strong. I do knock you out. Oh
21:01Thanks
21:03This beds ever so hard. Why don't you have our bed? We're sleeping here tonight. No, no, no, I'll be fine
21:09Come on you'll be more comfortable and there's thicker curtains won't let the light in what time is it?
21:17Margaret it's just gone ten. I stopped worrying about him. I mean it was just one of those things
21:23You didn't know he was gonna be beaten up by midgets
21:30Expecting a beyond bar now you can give him a ring in the morning
21:39Oh
21:46Yes, wait a minute, this is April blue it yes got something here I think belongs to you
21:56He's not making a lot of sense we found in a public lavatory making seagull noises in future try and keep an eye on him
22:03Oh
22:07We must get you upstairs and get you undressed
22:33Oh
23:03I
23:34Oh
23:38My fishing trousers I forgot to bring them up don't you go down there disturbing both the fun
23:44I can't go fishing without my fishing trousers
23:53You got my love much nicer in my bed, wasn't it? I
23:57I won't tell Margaret about last night the our little secret
24:27I
24:35Thought you'd gone home. Um, no, I came back in the end. Yeah, I slept on the sofa. Oh
24:46Are you all right? Yes you yes
24:50The
24:53Taxi's just coming. Yes. I know. Why don't you take these down? I'll be with you in a second
24:58I've just got one last job to take care of
25:11Good morning, my love. I thought you might be hungry after last night's exertion
25:16Oh
25:19That's very kind of you I've already eaten I think I've got everything
25:23Soggy wheat of eggs with honey ruddy eggs orange juice coffee. Yes. There we are
25:31In bed Oh nearly forgot
25:35Hot toasted bun
25:37Oh
25:44The next time you take advantage of my body it'll be under that gravestone
25:56Did you say goodbye to April for me
25:59Yes
26:01Strange it's the first time she didn't burst into laughter
26:07Oh, could you stop here just a minute, please
26:25Oh good morning, Marvin
26:37Oh
26:43Should be home by seven I thought perhaps might have an early night tonight
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