- 8/15/2024
The late, great Bernie Mac performs on the final Kings of Comedy Tour
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00What type of shit is in here?
00:03Chop!
00:06Chop!
00:08Chop!
00:11Motherfucker
00:14Keep fuckin' with me
00:17You think I'm playin'?
00:18Some of my bitches keep fuckin' with me
00:26I done told some of my bitches how to play this shit
00:29I'm gonna say Chuck one goddamn time
00:31Cut the bitch off
00:33Retarded motherfucker can't do that
00:37See that's why you can't hire your relatives, man
00:39Don't fuck with your family
00:41That's my wife's cause
00:42I can't get rid of that motherfucker
00:45You know if I get rid of him
00:46There's gonna be some shit when I get to the house
00:48We family, fuck family
00:51Black folks are motherfuckin' white folks
00:53Let me tell you something
00:54I've been black a long time
00:55I'm changin' like it is
00:58You can't say it, you know
00:59Then you scared, you can't say it
01:01Chinese people tell black folks
01:03You keep up shit, keep up shit
01:08I like with some Chinese
01:09Don't come up here, bullshit
01:10Don't come up
01:13Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
01:17Black folks know we keep up shit
01:20White folks, y'all somethin'
01:21I'm glad to see
01:22A lot of white folks in the house
01:23That's the way it's supposed to be
01:24No, that's the way it is
01:25Kings of Comedy start happenin'
01:27Y'all gettin' hip to us
01:28That's a beautiful thing
01:29See you smile
01:30I ain't told no goddamn joke
01:31You ain't said shit
01:40What'd he say?
01:41What'd he say?
01:44Fuck you, don't say shit
01:47Say it like it is, man
01:48Long ass ride here, man
01:49I found out my friend died
01:51When your friend die
01:52Don't you get nervous
01:53I'm 43
01:55When a motherfucker be dyin'
01:56You gotta find out what age he is
01:57You know what I mean?
01:59Man, 43, how old was he?
02:0145
02:06His heart just stopped on him?
02:08Was he sick?
02:11No, just dropped dead
02:12That's fucked up
02:15You sure be thinkin'
02:16About your motherfuckin' self
02:17I been havin' this pain
02:18In my goddamn back for a while
02:21See, now I go to the hospital
02:22Fuck that
02:24I lost two cats
02:25Close to me
02:2647, 44
02:28See, black folks don't go to the hospital
02:29Somebody bust them in the head
02:30With a bat
02:31Or they have a car accident
02:32No, every motherfuckin' pain
02:33Come on me
02:34I'm goin' to the goddamn hospital
02:36I had a pain in my goddamn chest
02:37All day
02:38Gas is a motherfucker
02:39Let me tell you
02:41Gas is a bitch
02:43Man, that motherfucker
02:44Tightened up around that motherfucker
02:45My wife said, what's wrong?
02:46I said, come on, put your clothes on
02:47Take me to the hospital
02:49Motherfucker, if I get a nosebleed
02:50What's wrong with
02:51Put your clothes on
02:52Take me to the goddamn hospital
02:54I was fuckin' last week
02:55Had a sharp pain
02:56In my goddamn left nut
02:58She said, what's wrong?
02:59I said, wipe your ass
03:00And come on, take me to the hospital
03:04Take me to the motherfuckin' hospital
03:07I'm tellin' you like it is
03:09Oh, man
03:11This shit, man
03:12I was in Vegas
03:13I got here this morning
03:14And I saw this white
03:15I saw this white lady with a leash
03:17White folks, y'all somethin' else
03:19No, no
03:20Y'all somethin' fuckin' else, man
03:21Y'all had a leash
03:22On a little kid
03:23Kid just runnin' like a motherfucker
03:24Come here, Johnny
03:25Come here
03:26Come here, pullin' him
03:27Come here, come here
03:28I'm not pullin' shit
03:30For no two or three year old
03:31I don't negotiate with terrorists
03:32I don't negotiate with terrorists
03:35I'll give that motherfucker a look
03:38And you better freeze like a motherfucker
03:44I'll break your little motherfuckin' jaw
03:48These little sumbitches
03:49Somethin' else, man
03:50These little kids tell you
03:51What to do
03:52See, now, we the punk-ass parents
03:54Parents today, we pussies
03:56Cause we weak
03:57We wanna be friends
03:59Motherfuckin' kid tell you
04:00I ain't gonna eat that
04:01What type of shit is that?
04:02Motherfucker don't eat
04:05I hope you get dizzy
04:06Like a motherfucker
04:13My little niece gonna tell me
04:14I'm goin' on a hunger strike
04:16Bitch, go ahead on
04:17Don't eat shit
04:18I hope when you walk
04:19You just fall to floor
04:20I hope when you walk
04:21You just fall the fuck out
04:32Fuck you
04:34You gon' hurt me
04:35Cause you ain't eat that, bitch
04:37Kid's a motherfucker, man
04:39Kid's a bitch, man
04:40See, when I was a kid
04:42See, we had that
04:43Mother made you
04:44Hit you in the motherfuckin' throat
04:47Make you bite the back
04:48Of your tongue and shit
04:49You know when you ever cry
04:50When you a little kid
04:51When you cry
04:53You have a, you holler
04:55Then it's like a
04:56Seven second pause
04:58Then after that pause
05:00It's a scream
05:02You fucked up
05:04When they hit your ass
05:20You hurt like a motherfucker
05:24That's how parents
05:25Used to fuck you up
05:27My mother, man
05:28Man, my mother
05:29See, parents back then, too
05:30They was fucked up, too
05:31They had some fucked up
05:32Old psychological ass ways
05:34The old fashioned
05:35Southern ass shit
05:36They used to say to you
05:37My mother and them
05:38Used to fuck over us
05:40Cause they tell my brother
05:41And them stupid shit
05:42Go outside
05:44And find me something
05:45To whip your ass with
05:46Find me something
05:47To whip your ass with
05:52And those stupid son of a bitch
05:53Be all outside looking
05:59I was little
06:00I said, look at this
06:01Dumb motherfucker
06:03I was about three, four years old
06:04I said to myself
06:05I wish my mom would tell me
06:06Some stupid shit like that
06:08That's when I started cussing
06:09Four years old
06:10I was about this goddamn tall
06:13My mom said
06:14Go outside and find me a switch
06:16To whip your ass
06:21You hear what I said?
06:23I said, I heard what the fuck you said
06:28My brother said
06:29Don't say that, baby
06:30Fuck what she talking about
06:32I'm not going out to find
06:33A motherfucking thing
06:35She gonna whip me
06:36Want me to do
06:37You do your own goddamn labor
06:40My brother said
06:41Don't say that
06:42I said, fuck that
06:43I'm gonna whip it anyway
06:44It don't make no goddamn difference
06:45Fuck that
06:48I'm not going to find shit
06:52Oh, man
06:53We all cussed our family out
06:55We cussed our shit out
06:56We had class about it
06:58Take the garbage out
06:59Man, fuck
07:01Then she look at you
07:10Yeah, don't lose the beat
07:11Motherfucker
07:12Take that garbage out
07:14Oh, they was a bitch
07:16Parents was a bitch back then
07:17Cause they told you stupid shit
07:19They scared the fuck out you
07:20See, now today
07:21Everybody politically correct
07:23Can't touch a kid
07:24Talk to the kid
07:25Negotiate
07:26Fuck that
07:28Man, mom and dad
07:29Used to tell you shit
07:30Nine o'clock
07:31My mother used to scare the fuck out you
07:32With shit like
07:34When your daddy come home
07:37I'm gonna have him beat your ass
07:40Now, go on outside and play
07:44How the fuck you gonna play
07:45In another goddamn condition
07:48I'll be in center field
07:49The ball gonna pass
07:50Catch the ball, Matt
07:51Man, fuck that goddamn ball
07:54I'm gonna get a whooping
07:55At five o'clock
07:57I can't concentrate, man
07:58Damn that goddamn ball
08:00This some serious shit here
08:03Man, my mama told me
08:04That shit at eight thirty
08:05In the morning
08:07Man, my whole day
08:08Was discombobulated
08:10I was so disgusted
08:11I didn't know what the fuck
08:12To do
08:14Man, nine o'clock
08:16Ten o'clock
08:17Eleven o'clock
08:19I started crying at one o'clock
08:22I said, man, somebody
08:23Call this motherfucker
08:25I called my father
08:26At the job, he said, hello
08:27I said, man, when you
08:28Coming home, man
08:30Come get this shit
08:31Over with
08:33This ain't nothing but some stress
08:36And when you nervous
08:38See, kids don't cry no more
08:40You try to be strong
08:42You know you gonna get a whooping
08:44You try to be strong
08:46You strong
08:47Until somebody mention that shit
08:49Then tears just come out
08:50By that motherfucker's self
08:53You be standing there
08:54Cool, strong
09:01What time your daddy
09:02Coming in, man?
09:05I don't know what time
09:06That motherfucker coming in
09:09Well, goddammit
09:11That's how my mama
09:12Used to do
09:13Come to school
09:14When they come to school on you
09:16And walk in the door
09:17You be clowning
09:18Acting like a motherfucking fool
09:20And somebody's mama
09:21Walking in the door
09:24You look
09:25You sit down
09:26Quick as a son of a bitch
09:28And everybody in the class
09:29Be whispering, who mama that?
09:32Who mama that?
09:33Who mama that?
09:35You can always tell
09:36Who motherfucker mama was
09:37They be playing like they busy
09:40Who mama that?
09:46Oh, that's your motherfucking mama
09:47That's your mama there
09:50That's your motherfucking mama there
09:52But see, we grew up
09:54Under whoopings
09:55But we all grew up
09:56And became good people
09:57See, now
09:59I don't know what the fuck
10:00Going on now
10:01Sex, too much sex
10:02Every time they tell me
10:03I'm so sick of pussy
10:04I don't know what the fuck to do
10:06No, man, pussy make me sick
10:07That pink motherfucker
10:08Something else
10:10I said, man, it's a drug
10:11Don't tell me
10:12I'm wearing a patch right now
10:13Don't tell me
10:19I'm telling you like it is
10:21Man, pussy
10:22Ain't nothing up
10:23See, grown man
10:24Grown woman
10:25Get together
10:26Say you want something
10:27I say, I'll give you something
10:28You bust a nut
10:29I bust a nut
10:31How the fuck I gotta pay your rent
10:32After that goddamn shit?
10:34I ain't never seen a pussy
10:35With a meat on it
10:36That shit fucks me up there, man
10:38This shit is
10:39I'm a fucking believer, man
10:41Pay my bill
10:42Telephone bill
10:43Light bill
10:44I'm not paying a motherfucking thing
10:46Now, I wish
10:47I wish I would get blackmailed
10:48Can't nobody blackmail me
10:50See, that's why I don't fuck around
10:51Cause I don't want no pussy
10:52Can't blackmail me
10:53I'm gonna tell your wife
10:54I'll tell my motherfucking wife
10:56Before I let another motherfucker
10:57Tell my goddamn wife
10:59Girl, I'll tell your wife
11:00Motherfucker
11:01I'll tell her myself
11:02I'll go home
11:03Wake up
11:10What's wrong?
11:11Wake up, just listen
11:12Keep your hands so I can see them
11:16Oh, man, sex is a bitch, man
11:18Sex is so goddamn funny, man
11:20We all
11:21We all trip out on it
11:23But the funny thing about sex, man
11:24See, I'm a comedian
11:26You know, I be laughing
11:27I ain't laughing at you
11:28I'm laughing at shit you be saying
11:31You know, it's ooh, ooh
11:33Goddamn it
11:35I said, I ain't never heard
11:36This motherfucker talking like this
11:37This motherfucker Christian
11:39Give me that dick
11:40In the name of the Lord
11:41Give me that dick
11:45I said, her daddy can't hear her now
11:48I went with a woman, man
11:49A long time ago
11:50See, when you do shit fucked up, man
11:52You don't care
11:53Back in the day
11:54Now you mature now
11:55But I had this woman, man
11:56She wasn't that attractive
11:58You know
12:00But she was good people
12:01She was good people
12:07She had a cracked tooth
12:08You know, her tooth
12:09No, she was good people, though
12:10She was good people
12:12Her tooth was cracking
12:13At a 45 degree angle
12:14You know
12:17She was good people, though
12:18She was good people
12:19And you know
12:20She was giving me
12:21She was giving me
12:22Mouth to mouth
12:23You know what I mean
12:24And see, back then
12:25You don't give a fuck
12:26Where you get it from
12:27As long as you get it
12:28And she was
12:29And shit
12:30Man, we so goddamn stupid
12:31Shit be hurting
12:32But we still won't say shit
12:33Still try to take it
12:34Like we strong
12:35She was cutting me
12:36She was tearing it up
12:37She was snarling it
12:38You know
12:39And I'm sitting there
12:40Trying to take it
12:41You know
12:42I couldn't handle it
12:43I couldn't handle it
12:44I said, you're cutting it
12:45You're cutting it
12:52She was good people
12:53She was good people
13:00We all do some crazy shit now
13:02You ever pass gas
13:03While you make love?
13:05You're a goddamn liar
13:08You're a liar
13:09Son of a bitch
13:11We all hear them
13:12Pass gas
13:13Making love
13:14Especially men
13:15You ain't said shit
13:16You ever had a woman
13:17Just break wind
13:18When you're getting it
13:19From the back
13:20She just fall
13:21Just
13:23You don't say nothing
13:24You just keep on pumping
13:25Just keep on
13:33You don't say nothing
13:34You don't say nothing
13:35When you get in your car
13:36You talk about her ass
13:37Like a dog
13:38See you later, Bernie
13:39All right, you stinking ass bitch
13:43Farted all on my dick and shit
13:53Oh, we're on a trip, man
13:56We're all
13:57Me and we've been doing things
13:58Sex, so fucking funny
14:00Communicating
14:01I want you to do this
14:03I want you to do that
14:04You don't do this anymore
14:06But all sex
14:07They never mention
14:09Women don't like to suck no dick
14:10They don't like sucking no dick
14:12I got a problem with that
14:13I got a problem with that
14:15This 2000
14:16Y'all got to come on with the program
14:17You got to come on
14:19Men been eating pussy for years
14:20For years
14:21No problem
14:22No problem
14:24Every time we ask y'all for a head
14:25Y'all get attitude
14:28Why don't you come over here
14:29And do a little bit
14:37What you want me to do?
14:40Fuck it, don't worry about it
14:41Don't worry about it
14:43I'll do it myself
14:44I'll do it myself
14:46That's what you're going to have to do
14:48Or let your mama do it
14:49Because I ain't doing a motherfucking thing
14:52What my mama got to do with it?
14:53My mama head all day
14:54She ain't got nothing to do with this shit
14:57Women is funny, man
14:59But all of us in here are scared of women
15:01I've been married 25 years
15:02For some
15:03My wife married about five
15:05She about right here
15:12You thought about it too, motherfucker
15:13You thought about it
15:15I ain't never hit my wife
15:16I swear to God, I ain't never hit
15:17But I thought about it
15:19And if I did drugs or something
15:20This one time
15:21I have an excuse
15:23I'll fuck my wife up, man
15:24I'm telling you
15:26Because that son of a bitch, man
15:27She know I ain't going nowhere, man
15:29Women know they got you
15:3025 years
15:31She was 15, I was 16
15:32She know I ain't going nowhere
15:34Now she be talking all smart
15:35See, y'all clapping
15:36See, that's beautiful, ain't it?
15:38Yeah, I know
15:39Yeah, I know
15:40I know it's beautiful, yeah
15:41Motherfucker
15:43That little son of a bitch
15:44Think she on me, man
15:45Be talking all smart
15:47You know, telling me what to do
15:48You know
15:49Yeah, I know
15:50I know she is
15:52But see, black women want to be your mama
15:54Your daddy
15:55Your pastor
15:57Your counselor
15:59Policeman
16:01You know
16:02They want to be the dickhead
16:03We are
16:04Y'all ain't write shit
16:07I know they want to be your wife
16:09They want to tell you what to do
16:10My wife going to tell my dad
16:11I said, babe, I'll be right back
16:12She said, you ain't going nowhere tonight
16:14I said, you want to see my motherfucking birth certificate?
16:16I'm growing like a son of a bitch
16:19She said, take your punk ass out
16:20See what the fuck going to happen to you
16:23Now for some reason when she said that
16:24I knew she wasn't playing
16:27I got nervous like a motherfucker, you know
16:34But I couldn't let her get the last word out there
16:35I said, look outside
16:36I'll be right back
16:37She said, Mac, I done told you
16:38You went out Monday
16:39You played pool Tuesday
16:40You went hunting Wednesday and Thursday
16:42You ain't going no motherfucking way tonight
16:44I said, let me tell you something
16:45Let me tell you something
16:46I said, watch, see if I go
16:48Yeah, I went
16:50Shit
16:51You don't tell me where the fuck I went
16:55I'll bust your head to the white meat
16:56You don't tell me where the fuck I went
16:58Matter of fact, you look just like her motherfucking ass
17:01Come close and see
17:02Once you leave, make this motherfucker bleed
17:05Goddamn, I'm sick of your ass too
17:06You look just goddamn like her
17:09Yeah, I went
17:10I came back early
17:11I went, though
17:12I came back early
17:13Stop my goddamn business
17:16What you looking at your tongue at me for like that?
17:19What you looking at your tongue at me like that?
17:21You know you ain't going to suck no dick
17:24You ain't going to suck
17:25Don't fuck with me
17:26What you doing all that for?
17:28Huh?
17:30It's 2000
17:31You suck dicks
17:33You do
17:44I'm going to check your ass out
17:47I'm going to check you out
17:49Remember when I get through
17:50You be right there on the side, right over there
17:53With your mouth open
17:57Come right here, motherfucker
17:58Just come here
18:01I'm going to put something in your mouth
18:02I'm going to choke the shit out of your head
18:05You're going to be coughing for two weeks
18:06Fucking with me
18:10That motherfucker tried to kill me
18:14You're fucking with a man here, baby
18:16If I let you see
18:17You're going to scare the shit out of you
18:20If I unzip it
18:22And you took a peek
18:23You'd go blind
18:29Shut the fuck up, girl
18:32Man, I love my wife, though
18:33Man, I love my wife
18:34I can't hurt her
18:35I can't hurt her
18:37I'm fucking around with you
18:38See, you fucking around my chain of thought
18:42I usually don't let nobody
18:43Fuck with my chain of thought
18:45You know, that's your day
18:46See, white boys
18:47Let me tell you something
18:48You with a sister
18:49Oh, don't
18:50Wait a minute
18:51Don't tell me what the fuck to do
18:54God damn it
18:55You like who?
18:56You like women
18:58Oh
19:00You're a fire starter
19:03You start a fire
19:05Stangin' ass
19:13Tell me, I like women
19:14What the fuck you like?
19:15You can't do shit
19:17But kiss it
19:30You can't do shit
19:32Women need dick
19:35Women need a hammer
19:37Women gotta have the motherfucking hammer
19:40Don't tell me you can't
19:41You can't buy one
19:43Motherfucker get the fuck around
19:44Get a flow burn
19:45Between your goddamn fucking
19:46Old D.I. door, nigga
19:48You a lesbian for real, ain't you?
19:52Damn
19:53Oh
19:58If I was your daddy
19:59I'd beat your ass
20:08I'd whip your ass to death
20:12A lesbian
20:14Nice looking woman
20:1523, 24 years old
20:1826 years old
20:19College degree
20:21And a cocksucker
20:24Yeah
20:29World coming to an end
20:31Got an education in sucking cock
20:35I got my master
20:46Hey
20:47This is my people though
20:49You know, each his own
20:50I think it's a beautiful thing
20:52For you to even play like that
20:53I think it's great
20:55When I was sitting up there, man
20:56I'm thinking about you, man
20:57I'm thinking about
20:59Thinking about you
21:01No, no, no, no, no
21:02I'm thinking about it, man
21:03Cause you know, I went to a funeral
21:04I don't like funerals, man
21:06You know, funerals full of shit
21:07Especially black funerals
21:09Black funerals
21:10You know, white folks
21:11I admire y'all, man
21:12When the cat die one day
21:14Next day y'all bury that motherfucker
21:17Cause he ain't no good
21:18Till he calls you money
21:19Ain't no need him sticking around
21:21Get rid of that motherfucker
21:22He died last night
21:23He buried tomorrow
21:24Fuck him
21:26Black folks, my people
21:27Son of a bitch died, man
21:28We got four days to fuck with him
21:30We got visitation
21:32The wake
21:34The funeral
21:35And the burial
21:37And somebody explain
21:38The motherfucking wake to me
21:39Cause I never did understand that shit
21:41Where you just sit there
21:42In a fucking chair
21:44In front of the coffin
21:46Watching this son of a bitch
21:48And every now and then
21:49This motherfucker look like he breathing
21:53This motherfucker breathing
21:56White funerals, man
21:57Be nice
21:59The light be on
22:00The coffin be in the center
22:02They come sing a song
22:04The Lord
22:08He's good
22:13He's so mercy
22:16That I
22:20Can
22:23Not see
22:29They close the coffin
22:30With that motherfucker out
22:33Black funeral
22:35Somebody gotta come sing a song
22:37Old voodoo ass song
22:39Precious Lord
22:41Old ancient ass song
22:43And they gotta look at the deceased family
22:45Sitting in the front row
22:47Cause they trying to make you cry on purpose
22:50Precious Lord
23:04Take my
23:08Hand
23:14What the fuck is
23:16Leave me alone
23:25I said let me
23:29Stand
23:31Ah
23:34Ah
23:37Ah, ah, ah
23:39Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
23:41Am I tired
23:44You looking daddy
23:46That's when I jumped up
23:47What the fuck you looking at me
23:48Singing like that
23:50Cause you make me feel like I'm next
23:51Don't look at me
23:52Look around
23:53Look over there
23:54Sing a fuck over there
23:56And black folks
23:57I don't know what it is
23:59We got that old southern mentality
24:00Where we always want to
24:02Tell you how somebody died
24:04You ever know what I'm saying
24:06They'll tell you that same story
24:08Over
24:09Fucking over
24:10Over
24:11Again
24:12How he died
24:13Lord
24:15It was sunny and lightning
24:17And I was upstairs
24:19I was rolling my hair
24:21And I just heard a noise
24:23And I said what the fuck is that
24:26And I walked downstairs
24:28And I saw him laying
24:29Against the refrigerator
24:31I said oh lord he dead
24:33I was so nervous I called 119
24:39I swear I ain't gonna never forget
24:42It was raining so hard
24:43I couldn't hear myself think
24:45Cause I was rolling my hair
24:47And I just heard a bump
24:49And I said somebody downstairs
24:51And I got my pistol
24:52Cause I thought somebody broke in
24:54When I walked down there
24:55I saw some legs
24:57I said is that Willie
24:59And I look around there
25:01He was laying over there
25:02He was dead
25:04Lord scared me half to death
25:06I couldn't even finish
25:07Rolling my hair
25:08I just got through
25:09Doing the front of my hair
25:11And I just heard a bump
25:14And I said Willie
25:16Willie
25:18But he didn't say nothing
25:20So I walked down there
25:22I didn't say nothing
25:23Cause it was dark
25:24It was sunny and lightning
25:25And I looked
25:26And I saw him hunched over
25:27I said that motherfucker dead
25:29Boy that hurt me
25:30It's been a week since he died
25:31Boy but I tell you
25:32I never will forget that day
25:34It was 2 in the night
25:35It was raining
25:36And I was rolling my hair
25:37In the front
25:39And it felt like somebody fell
25:41And I said somebody fell
25:44I didn't go down right away
25:45Cause I thought he was alright
25:48When I walked down there
25:49I saw his ass sticking out
25:50From the refrigerator
25:52I said he hurt
25:53He just laying there
25:54When I rolled that motherfucker over
25:55He was dead
25:57I called the ambulance
25:58They came and got him
25:59I never will forget
26:00I didn't even finish rolling
26:01The back of my hair
26:03So I was rolling
26:04I just got this side right here
26:06And it felt like somebody
26:07Lightning just
26:08Hit the front
26:10And I went down there
26:11Bitch shut the fuck up
26:12Telling that goddamn story
26:18They be at the funeral
26:21Telling that fucked up ass story
26:23You be sitting in your chair
26:24You hear somebody
26:25All the way down there
26:26I was rolling my hair
26:28I heard a nod
26:29Shut the fuck up
26:32Take your ass to the hospital
26:33I'm like bullshit
26:36We funny people
26:38I was over at my brother house
26:39Last night
26:40Before I left here
26:41I was over at my brother house
26:42And I got you know
26:43Nephew like all of us
26:44You know they
26:45I don't know what they on
26:46They on some other shit right
26:47So I was sitting up there
26:48I was talking to my brother
26:49We playing pool
26:50And my nephew came in
26:51And he said
26:53Uh
26:54You pretty smart
26:55I said well you know
26:56I'm alright
26:57You know
26:58He said what's the difference
26:59Between a hypothetical question
27:01And a realistic question
27:03Kind of caught me off guard
27:04You know
27:08I said damn
27:09Hypothetical and realistic
27:11I said they basically mean the same
27:12But sometimes they might be different
27:17Caught me off guard
27:18Caught me off guard
27:20I said for example man
27:21I said run upstairs
27:22And ask your mama
27:23Would she make love
27:24To the next door neighbor
27:25For $50,000
27:27He went upstairs
27:28Took a little while
27:29Came back
27:31He said uh
27:32Mama said she'd make love
27:33To the next door neighbor
27:34Neighborhood in the next block
27:37For $50,000
27:40I said I'll be damned
27:42I said do me a favor
27:43Go upstairs
27:44And ask your sister
27:46Would she make love
27:47To the mailman
27:48For $250,000
27:50He ran upstairs
27:51Trotted on back
27:53He said uh
27:54Sister said she'd make love
27:55To the mailman
27:56The milkman
27:57And any other man
27:58For $50,000
28:00I looked at my brother
28:02Brother looked at me
28:03I said sit down
28:04Son
28:05I said I'm going to tell you something
28:07Hypothetically speaking
28:09You should have $100,000
28:22I said but realistically speaking son
28:24You live with two hoes
28:26Good night
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