Frasier Season 2 Episode 8 Adventures In Par Adise Pt 1

Frasier

Transcript

00:00Hi, we're back. Ross tells me we have Chester on the line.

00:05Hello, Chester. How can I help you?

00:08I don't know. I've had a lot of fights with my wife lately.

00:13She feels I'm just wasting my life, standing still.

00:16Spinning your wheels.

00:18Huh? How far?

00:20Chester, I'm afraid this problem might be just a little too complex for the few seconds we have remaining.

00:30Why don't you try to call us back tomorrow? I'll make sure that you get on first thing.

00:34Gee, it's awful tough to get through.

00:37Well, I'll tell you what. Hang tight, and when I get off the air, I'll pick up and try to help you then.

00:42Take your time.

00:48Okay, everybody, I've got to scoot. Bulldog's up next after the news with the Gonzo Sports Show.

00:53Today's topic, what's wrong with our Seattle Mariners?

00:58If you haven't had a chance to voice your opinion on that in the last 18 years, you'll want to today.

01:05So long, all.

01:10Well, Ross, that was a pretty good show.

01:15What are you reading so intently?

01:17Oh, it's a Seattle magazine. It's their up-and-comers issue.

01:20The hottest hundred men and women in town.

01:23Oh, let me see.

01:24Don't you want to finish up with Chester?

01:25Oh, you heard him. He can wait.

01:30If you're looking for yourself, you're not in there.

01:33Oh.

01:36And your brother Niles isn't in there either.

01:38Cool.

01:42Oh, hi.

01:44Who is this fresh angel?

01:47Madeline Marshall, number 47.

01:50Ooh, manufactures her own line of sportswear.

01:53God, she's a stunning woman.

01:56Single, patron of the arts, MBA at Stanford.

02:01Well, if you have to go to school on the West Coast.

02:08And what she looks for most in a man, someone who knows how to listen.

02:18Ross, I'm in love.

02:22Well, why don't you call her up and ask her out?

02:24Oh, yeah, right.

02:26I'm serious, Frasier. What have you got to lose?

02:29I could just call her out of the blue. She doesn't even know who I am.

02:32You're on the radio. A lot of people know who you are.

02:35Yes, well, then why am I not in this magazine?

02:36Because those are important people.

02:38Oh.

02:40I'm going to call her office.

02:41Oh, no, no, no, Ross, no.

02:43Hey, Doc.

02:45Bulldog?

02:46Just got back from the gym. Did an hour on the Stairmaster.

02:49What do you think? Like a couple of little cherry tomatoes, huh?

02:56Thank you, Bulldog. You've just put me off salads for a month.

03:01Doc, what have we got here?

03:03Hello. Is Madeline Marshall there?

03:06Dr. Frasier Crane.

03:08Wait a minute. This Madeline Marshall? You know her?

03:11No, no, I found her attractive and Ross insisted on calling her.

03:15Wow. Small wonder.

03:17Smart, sophisticated.

03:20And I like a woman who doesn't wear underwear.

03:24She's wearing a business suit.

03:26It was a general comment.

03:29Ms. Marshall, could you please hold for Dr. Crane?

03:32Oh, oh, oh.

03:33Thank you.

03:37All right. Once more onto the breach.

03:47Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane.

03:49I know that we've never met, but, you know, from everything I know about you,

03:53you just seem like the most fascinating person.

03:55I was just wondering if, well, why don't I just come right out and say it?

03:59Would you be so good as to have dinner with me tonight?

04:04Well, that's very gracious of you to accept, Chester, but I didn't mean you.

04:12Well, she could have told me she was online, too.

04:14You could have asked.

04:21Mr. Crane, is the proper term serial killer or serial murderer?

04:27Serial killer. Why?

04:29Oh, just letting me old mom know what's going on in Seattle.

04:32She worries when she doesn't hear from me.

04:37Hey, Niles, how about a nice Savannah to go with that wine?

04:40Thank you.

04:43Aren't Cuban cigars illegal?

04:45Yeah, I got a friend in customs over at Sea-Tac.

04:48He confiscated them from some high school teacher

04:51who claimed he was bringing them into the country for a civics lesson.

04:55I mean, what are people going to learn?

04:57Rules are only rules when they apply to everyone.

05:02Oh, I love to see a man with a cigar.

05:06It reminds me of me grandfather.

05:09Morning to night, he used to sit with a great big stogie dangling from his lips.

05:15The hours we kids used to spend sitting on his lap,

05:19playing with the yellow whiskers beneath his nose.

05:23Then he'd take out his teeth with the cigar still in them

05:26and chase us around the room.

05:29And we'd all laugh and laugh.

05:34Then suddenly grandpa's mood would change

05:37and we'd all have to run for our lives.

05:42You can't buy memories like that.

05:48Dammit!

05:49Eddie, I know you took the socks that go with this suit.

05:52Now where are they?

05:59Brown socks with a blue suit? I think not.

06:02Try again.

06:08Thank you.

06:11Where are you off to?

06:12Dr. Crane has a blind date tonight.

06:15Really? With whom?

06:17Madeleine Marshall.

06:18She has her own sportswear concern.

06:21According to Seattle Magazine, she is the 47th hottest person in Seattle.

06:27That article is a sham.

06:28Not in and out.

06:29Can you believe it?

06:33Yes, well, I'm off.

06:35You know, I have a good feeling about tonight.

06:38I have a song in my heart, a little dance in my step,

06:43dog saliva around my ankles.

07:00Thank you.

07:02This is wonderful.

07:04I've never even heard of this place.

07:07Goodness, you're in for a treat.

07:09Degas is the pinnacle of French country dining.

07:13It's just Etienne Degas, his wife and daughter,

07:15and they'll treat us as if we were family.

07:20You know, I couldn't help being flattered when you told me that you knew my show.

07:26Can I count you among my devoted listeners?

07:29Well, actually, my secretary listens to it,

07:32but I try to catch as much as I can when I cross back and forth through her office.

07:39Bonsoir, Monsieur Drame, and welcome to Degas.

07:42Our special tonight is our fabulous crispy duck.

07:48Oh, yummy.

07:50And to start off, we'll have a bottle of the Chateauneuf-du-Pape 89.

07:54Ah, the only one in that decade to outdo the 88.

07:57That's the one to get.

07:59Excellent choice.

08:04You know why?

08:06Well, I try to make it a point to acquaint myself with the finer things in life.

08:10Oh, well, then what would you like to know about me?

08:15Well, for starters, why is a man as charming as you still out there?

08:21Well, actually, I...

08:24I'm recently divorced.

08:26Oh, thank goodness.

08:27For a second there, I thought you were one of those strange single men still living with his parents.

08:36Yeah, yeah, your heart really has to go out to those sad sacks.

08:42I'm divorced also.

08:44Oh, well, we have so much in common.

08:47I caught him cheating with my sister.

08:49Fabulous.

08:52The same thing happened to me.

08:54Boy, my sister gets around.

08:59It's good to see that you've still kept your sense of humor.

09:03Yeah, but it isn't easy to get over something like that, is it?

09:07No.

09:10No, it's not.

09:14Those nights when you ask yourself, you know, how could this have happened?

09:19Was I insensitive to her needs?

09:21Was I too devoted to my work?

09:23Was I simply not good enough in bed?

09:26You reach for anything.

09:32Qu'est-ce que tu me racontes là?

09:34No, no, no.

09:35What are you telling me?

09:36You are prejudicial.

09:38I told you, Mama.

09:39I told you he would be like this.

09:41Who is the father?

09:43I want to know.

09:44Who is the father?

09:46I won't tell you.

09:48When I find this man, I will kill him.

09:51I'll snap his neck like a stale baguette.

09:57Monsieur, your wine.

10:00Yes, that's the one.

10:01Bon, bon, bon.

10:02I will just go and open it.

10:04This will be a night to remember.

10:06Oh, yes.

10:08Aren't you going to tell me?

10:10No.

10:11You know, there's a clam house up the road that has a late sinking.

10:15Oh, no, I think we're getting the most bang for our entertainment buck right here.

10:21Oh, no, no, no.

10:22Oh, goody-five years of marriage.

10:24When will I ever see you?

10:26You don't think I am sick of you?

10:28You and your cuttlefish bisque.

10:31I spit in your cuttlefish bisque.

10:36Voilà, messieurs-dames.

10:38It's a delicacy from my little village in France.

10:42Cuttlefish bisque.

10:49What are the odds?

10:51I had cuttlefish for lunch.

10:53No, no, no.

10:55You don't have to.

10:56You can leave my house, Yvette.

10:57No, no, no.

10:58Go, go to wherever he is.

11:03Pardon, monsieur.

11:05Are you not the one who gives advice on the radio?

11:09You listen to my show.

11:10No, but my sous-chef does.

11:12And I hear you as I walk back and forth to the kitchen.

11:17Monsieur, you must help me.

11:19Etienne?

11:21You know, listen.

11:22If everyone comes out here, how will you know when our duck is crispy?

11:26Etienne, this is the doctor from the radio.

11:31Ah, oui, oui, oui.

11:33Please, monsieur.

11:34You must talk to my husband.

11:36My daughter is with child.

11:38And he does not understand that these things happen.

11:42Don't talk to me.

11:43Talk to this tramp.

11:44Do you believe my daughter, madame?

11:47You should meet my sister.

11:50As if I wasn't pregnant when we got married.

11:53Oh, I wish I had been killed in the war.

11:56Oh, it's hard to get killed when you run the other way.

12:00Oh, no, no, no.

12:03Silence! Silence!

12:10I told you to try to calm down.

12:12Now see what I can do.

12:15Monsieur Degas, you're angry now.

12:18That is a temporary emotion.

12:21You're devastated.

12:23Because you think the bond between a father and a daughter has been broken.

12:29She is no longer your little girl.

12:32But that's not possible.

12:35That bond cannot be broken.

12:37Not even by that young man cowering there in the corner who is so obviously the father.

12:47Come out.

12:48Come out, it's all right.

12:51We need more water.

12:57You!

12:58You can't even get water in a glass!

13:01How did you do this?

13:07Monsieur Degas.

13:09Please.

13:11Hold your daughter in your arms.

13:14Tell her how you really feel.

13:18Yvette.

13:21Ah, Yvette, Yvette.

13:24My little girl.

13:32Thank you, Monsieur.

13:34Thank you.

13:38You are a god.

13:40And you, mademoiselle, are very lucky.

13:45I'm starting to realize that.

13:49Just another evening out.

13:53Dr. Fraser Craig.

14:02Hi, Ross.

14:03Hey, Fraser.

14:05Again, thank you.

14:08It's okay, Fraser.

14:09You've thanked me every day for the last two weeks.

14:13Yes, yes, but if it hadn't been for you, I never would have met...

14:17Oh, Madeline.

14:20It's just...

14:21You know, we went out again last night and...

14:23It's just perfect between us.

14:25We talk, we can laugh at the same...

14:27Just stop.

14:28Did it ever occur to you that since I'm in one of the worst dating droughts of my entire adult life,

14:33that to hear you prattling on like a giggling schoolgirl about your storybook romance

14:38might be the teensiest bit irritating?

14:43No, it hadn't.

14:44And you're right, Ross.

14:45I'm sorry.

14:46Sometimes I can be so insensitive.

14:48But, you know, Madeline's helping me with that.

14:50She is so good.

14:51She is so good in, like, every way.

14:53God!

14:54I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

14:55It's just I haven't felt this way since...

14:57Since my divorce.

15:00Everything seems so right.

15:03You know, I haven't said this out loud, but...

15:06Here goes.

15:08It's possible that she could be the woman I spend the rest of my life with.

15:14Go.

15:15Go do that.

15:17Get married.

15:19Go.

15:20Go do that.

15:22Get married.

15:25Have a couple of kids.

15:26Move out to the country.

15:27Buy a puppy.

15:29Live happily ever after.

15:31Just don't tell me about it.

15:33I need a boyfriend.

15:38Dear Ross.

15:40Dear silly Ross.

15:41Dear silly, horny Ross.

15:47Oh! Oh, look!

15:48It's...

15:49That must be Madeline.

15:50Yes.

15:51Madeline.

15:52Hi.

15:53Hi, old Madeline.

15:54Look, there's Ross.

15:55Ross.

15:56Madeline.

15:57Madeline.

15:58Ross.

15:59Oh, my God, what a surprise to see you.

16:00Well, I hope you don't mind me stopping by,

16:02but I have a meeting with a buyer across the street in ten minutes,

16:05and there's something I wanted to talk to you about.

16:07Oh, well, sure.

16:08Please, have a seat.

16:14Well, you know, when we first started going out,

16:16we both agreed we didn't want to rush into the physical part,

16:20that we'd save ourselves for the right moment.

16:26It's now?

16:30No, actually.

16:33I was wondering what you thought about us going away for the weekend,

16:37just the two of us.

16:41Well, uh...

16:44I'd miss my favorite shows, but sure.

16:48I was thinking two, three days.

16:59I was thinking more like a week.

17:04Okay, now for the really big question.

17:07When?

17:09Well, the minute we get there.

17:14No.

17:17Actually, I meant, when do we go?

17:20Oh, oh, yes.

17:22Um...

17:23Let's see.

17:24Now, let's see.

17:25I am good for the week of the 16th.

17:30The 16th.

17:31Oh, no, sweeps week.

17:34How about the 23rd?

17:36No, trade show.

17:3830th?

17:39No.

17:40That puts us into the next month.

17:43Nope, nope, nope.

17:45The 20th?

17:46Nope.

17:48Well, look, this was a great idea,

17:50but we're both obviously too busy.

17:52We'll do it another time.

17:54Yes, I...

17:55I gotta run.

17:56Okay.

18:05Let's go tomorrow.

18:07You're on.

18:08I know the perfect place.

18:09Bora Bora.

18:10Hubba Hubba.

18:13Okay, I'll make the arrangements.

18:14I'll meet you at the airport.

18:15Okay.

18:16Okay.

18:17Bye.

18:18Bye.

18:19Oh, oh, Madeline.

18:22Bye.

18:27Hello.

18:28You don't know me,

18:29but I saw your picture in Seattle Magazine.

18:39Yeah.

18:52Ah, they don't write songs like that anymore.

18:56This is really what men do, isn't it, Dad?

19:01Yeah.

19:02This and some things outdoors,

19:04but we'll just stick to this.

19:08You know,

19:09these last few nights have been very pleasant, Dad.

19:12You and me sitting together,

19:14appreciating these fine cigars.

19:17Who would have thought a simple Cuban peasant

19:19somewhere in the Sierra Maestra

19:21would bring a father and son closer together?

19:24Yeah.

19:25Must make that dime he gets for a whole day's work

19:28a lot more satisfying.

19:31I'm going to miss these little sweethearts.

19:38Oh, now there's a talent.

19:41I'll say.

19:48Just how do you do that?

19:50Oh, it's really very simple.

19:52Let me show you.

19:53It's all in the tongue.

19:54That's right.

19:55It's all in the tongue.

19:57It's very simple.

19:58Let me show you.

19:59It's all in the tongue.

20:00That's right.

20:01Just purse your lips

20:02and pucker up like a little goldfish.

20:06That's it.

20:07Just like that.

20:08Very good.

20:11You got it.

20:19Niles, what are you doing?

20:23I'm learning how to blow smoke.

20:26Where?

20:32Jonathan, I asked you to smoke those things out on the balcony.

20:35It's cold out there.

20:36Fine.

20:37All right.

20:38Maybe an errant ash will flick off

20:40and ignite your easy chair.

20:44You're in a fine mood.

20:45What's the matter with you?

20:47Marilyn and I are going to Bora Bora tomorrow.

20:50Why do bad things happen to good people?

20:55When did this come about?

20:56Well, just about an hour ago,

20:58when Aunt Madeline came down to the station.

21:00We got caught up in a moment of passion.

21:02Before I know it,

21:03I'm going halfway around the world with a woman I hardly even know.

21:08She doesn't like me.

21:09I guess I'm getting caught up in the romance.

21:11Well, I'm not sure about the psychological ramifications of this,

21:15but it seems like a good thing to me.

21:17Yes, well, Trudy, I'm trying to...

21:19Ah, yes, but what if we hate each other

21:21and are being stuck together for a week?

21:23Oh, that won't happen.

21:24If anything, you'll come back even more in love than ever.

21:27It's even worse!

21:29If it goes perfectly,

21:31then it means we'll start talking about a serious commitment

21:34and living together and then marriage and...

21:37You ask me, Frasier, your trepidation is well-founded.

21:40It is possible to move a relationship along too fast

21:44and ultimately marry too hastily.

21:46You could find a few years down the line

21:48that the person isn't really right for you,

21:50and then what happens if you meet the right person,

21:53someone who really excites you and makes you feel alive,

21:56but you can't act upon it because you're trapped in a stale,

22:00albeit comfortable, marriage?

22:11Marriage.

22:14I have to go now.

22:17Thanks.

22:23Hey, let me ask you one question, Frasier.

22:25Did you feel a spark when you met this woman?

22:30Like fireworks.

22:31Oh, then go for it.

22:32You know, these things don't happen that often.

22:35It's like when I met your mother.

22:37It was at a crime scene.

22:39Hester was a psychiatrist,

22:41so every now and again the department

22:43had to run up a profile of a suspect.

22:47I remember the first time I met her.

22:49It was over the chalk outline of a murder victim.

22:54One look at her hair,

22:55silhouetted against that flashing blue line

22:58of the coroner's wagon, and I was a goner.

23:02She drew a little smile on the head of the outline,

23:05and I drew a pair of eyes,

23:06and before you knew it,

23:07we were laughing like a couple of kids.

23:11Dad, you're a ghoul.

23:14I was joking.

23:16We couldn't draw on the outline.

23:17They hadn't moved the body yet.

23:22Yes, well, your corpse-strewn romance notwithstanding,

23:26I still feel just a little bit skittish about this whole thing.

23:30Well, Dr. Grinn,

23:31if you'd like a feminine point of view,

23:34just shut your bloody cake hole and go.

23:39I mean, look what happened

23:40when you took a chance and called this woman.

23:43You've been whistling a happy tune ever since.

23:45Well, that is true.

23:46Yeah, so make another bold move.

23:49Do something to make yourself happy.

23:51Dad, go on.

23:52Yeah, you won't regret it.

23:55Oh, all right, I'll do it.

23:57Attaboy, that's great.

23:59That's terrific.

24:01Okay, but don't think I don't know

24:02that you're mostly excited

24:03just to get me out of the house for a week.

24:05It will be sweet, won't it?

24:22Thank you.

24:28This is gorgeous.

24:30I'm so glad you suggested it.

24:32It's even more beautiful than I remember.

24:34You know what the natives say?

24:36They say that Bora Bora is the end of the world

24:40and the doorway to heaven.

24:42This could be the doorway to heaven for us.

24:51I'm certainly glad that you're the one

24:53that said that first.

24:54I didn't want this to seem like

24:56our trip was just about sex,

24:58but who are we kidding?

25:05Ooh, ooh, ooh.

25:09Oh.

25:10Oh.

25:11Oh.

25:13I'm a little hot in these clothes, aren't you?

25:15I'm sweating like the pig that knows he's dinner.

25:21I'll be right back.

25:23Oink.

25:30Oh.

25:32Oh.

25:54Crazy.

26:02Oh, my God.

26:04Frasier?

26:09Oh, my God!

26:31Scrambled eggs.

26:33Mercy.

26:35And maybe I seem a bit confused.

26:38Yeah, maybe.

26:39But I got you pegged.

26:41Ha, ha, ha, ha.

26:44But I don't know what to do

26:46with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.

26:52They're calling again.

26:56Scrambled eggs all over my face.

26:59Is there more to do?

27:03Good night, everybody!

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