Taskmaster Australia S02E07
Taskmaster Australia S02E07
Taskmaster Australia S02E08 >>> https://dai.ly/x91ykju
Taskmaster Australia S02E08 >>> https://dai.ly/x91ykju
Transcript
00:00Ahhhhhhh!
00:22No, no!
00:37Hello and welcome to the highly anticipated seventh episode of Taskmaster Australia.
00:42It's the show that answers the burning question,
00:44what if comedians had feelings?
00:46And what if the man hosting them did not give a single shit about those feelings?
00:51I am that host, and yes, I am who you think I am,
00:54the man who killed and is wearing the skin of Tom Gleeson.
01:02Sitting in front of me, as always, are five sweet, innocent children
01:06between the ages of 29 and 50.
01:09They are Anne Edmonds,
01:12Jenny Tian,
01:14Judge Thomas,
01:16Lloyd Langford,
01:19and Will Anderson.
01:23And here beside me, a man who I'd love to get to know better
01:28if his dressing room didn't smell so much of Nutri-Grain.
01:32It's my assistant, Lesser Tom.
01:38G'day, mate. How are you going?
01:40I'm not too bad. I've always wanted to be one of those guys
01:42that everyone knows can do a backflip.
01:44So I've been practising, not backflips, because that's too hard,
01:47I've been practising telling people I can do a backflip.
01:51I can do a backflip.
01:55All right, Sugar Lips, sweeten the air
01:58with details of our prize task, please.
02:00Tonight, our comedians have been asked to bring in
02:03a thing that is great to have one of,
02:05but gets progressively worse the more you have.
02:08Ooh, OK. Jenny, what have you brought in?
02:11I have brought in the Plan B pill.
02:18Because if you have one, then, you know, it, like, saves you, right?
02:22But then if you have multiple, then it is a little bit worse.
02:26And it's called the Plan B pill, not Plan B to Z.
02:31When you said saves you, you meant saves you
02:33from the blessing of having children.
02:39It didn't sound right, did it?
02:44So, not more than once?
02:46No, not more than once.
02:47And also, my dad is in the crowd tonight, so...
02:52..if he asks...
02:53So it was a hypothetical, wasn't it?
02:55Exactly. I don't know what that is at all.
02:57I've never taken one in my life.
02:59OK, Will.
03:00I'm happy with this.
03:01The more you have, the worse it gets.
03:03The nose. It's great to have one nose.
03:09You have two noses,
03:10suddenly they start getting closer to smellier places.
03:13But I thought you probably couldn't imagine
03:15what it would be like if someone had a lot of noses,
03:17so I just thought I'd bring this in.
03:25So you use medical marijuana for your pain, yeah?
03:28Yes.
03:29This more than one nose, it sounds like stoner talk to me.
03:33Oh, man, imagine having more than one nose.
03:36Well, it certainly wouldn't be cocaine talk,
03:39cos no-one would want...
03:41APPLAUSE
03:43Right, Lloyd, what have you got?
03:45I chose a human skull.
03:50It's absolutely fine to have one skull...
03:55..on, like, the mantelpiece or something in your house.
03:58It would be, like, a curiosity.
04:00But the more you have...
04:02..the more you're getting into, like, serial killer territory.
04:06If, for example, you went,
04:07do you want to come down to my basement and see all my skulls?
04:11I would be like, no, I'm going.
04:14What did you bring in, Anne?
04:15I brought in a strongbow.
04:20The first time I got drunk,
04:22I snuck out of my parents' house through the window,
04:24went to a park, and I drank eight strongbows.
04:29Then I came home,
04:30and I was just vomiting out of the open window all night.
04:34I saw the face of God.
04:37And he loves strongbow.
04:41But it's disgusting.
04:42OK, Josh, what did you bring in?
04:44Buttholes.
04:51What's that supposed to be?
04:53As a butthole.
04:54A butthole? Or your...? Was it you?
04:59It doesn't matter who it is.
05:02It's kind of like the nose in many ways,
05:05but I didn't do a photo composition of him
05:10with heaps and heaps of buttholes.
05:12And thank you for that.
05:14Yeah.
05:15All right, well, I should allocate some points.
05:17Well, I'm thinking Will's nose gets one point
05:19because it's stoner talk.
05:20What are you talking about?
05:22That is, like, my best prize of all season.
05:25For no one?
05:27Yeah, one.
05:28Josh is going to get two points for his butthole.
05:31Three points to Lloyd for the skull because it creeped me out a bit.
05:34Five points for the cider,
05:35because I agree, one cider's enough, even half.
05:37But Bland B, pal, I mean, you don't want one more of those.
05:41Five points to Jenny.
05:45All right, I've said it before and I'll say it again,
05:48that's enough cider and buttholes for one night.
05:50Let's get into the good stuff, Tom.
05:52Sure thing.
05:53It's time for our contestants to pull their socks up
05:55to pull them down.
06:05Hi, Jenny.
06:06Hi, Tom.
06:07Kareem.
06:08Hi, Lloyd.
06:09Hello, Tom.
06:10Hi, Will.
06:11What's going on here?
06:12It's just a bunch of socks on the house.
06:14I can see that.
06:23Find the minivan in the sock.
06:28Oh.
06:29Fewer socks removed from the house wins,
06:32Fewer socks removed from the house wins.
06:34You may not enter the house, your time starts now.
06:37Oh, flip me.
06:40What?
06:41Find the minivan in the sock.
06:44Well, I'm going to go check out the caravan.
06:47OK.
06:48Yeah.
06:50I don't see any socks.
06:52Is the hook helping?
06:53I mean, I'm not allowed to enter a house
06:55and this is technically a house.
06:57You're allowed to enter.
06:58Oh, I don't really see anything.
07:01I don't see any socks here.
07:04OK, well...
07:07Oh.
07:10Oh, I see what's happened.
07:17Hello.
07:18Jenny, do you think your father is proud of you?
07:22Well, people often lose a few socks here and there
07:24but I don't think anyone's lost that many before.
07:27Yeah, but in my mind, a minivan and a caravan
07:30were, like, the same thing
07:32and I just thought, wow, it's probably going to be
07:34like a really easy, quick find
07:36and I'll go into the caravan to find the caravan
07:39that I was supposed to find,
07:40not realising that a caravan and a minivan
07:43are different vehicles, which...
07:45Yes.
07:46Well, if we've got nothing else out of this task,
07:48you've learnt that a caravan and a minivan
07:50are two different things.
07:52Alright, well, who's first?
07:53Two of them have athlete's feet, the other just has tinnier.
07:56It's Jenny, Anne and Lloyd.
07:59There's a minivan in a sock.
08:01OK.
08:06Oh, look at that!
08:10Can I keep that for my daughter?
08:11Yeah.
08:14My daughter would love that.
08:15You think?
08:16Yeah.
08:17I can't be bothered removing all these socks.
08:19That's just too many.
08:20I'm just trying to figure out inconsistency in pattern.
08:24It's a horse and a trailer.
08:26Can she have that as well?
08:27OK, nice one.
08:30One of those guys?
08:31A van?
08:32Yeah.
08:34It's an aeroplane.
08:35I'm not even going to ask you anymore.
08:37She's having that.
08:38Hello, Tom.
08:39Oh, who's this?
08:40F*** you.
08:41Oh.
08:42I wonder if it's the number of stripes at the top,
08:44cos that one has three.
08:46There's one sock that has three stripes on it.
08:49If you could just pick up the giraffe...
08:52I'm having trouble.
08:53I got it, I got it.
08:54Oh.
08:55Ooh, I hear something inside!
08:58Aw...
09:00That's not a minivan.
09:01No.
09:02You really need a lot of upper body strength for this one.
09:05Yeah.
09:10Lift your trotter leg up.
09:21May I have a look at your socks, please?
09:23What do you mean?
09:24I'm quite pissed off.
09:25I don't like it when I can't solve things.
09:27To be fair to you, I'm in a bit of pain as well.
09:30Oh, are you?
09:31Why are you in pain?
09:35Blast it.
09:36What's in there, Tommy Tom Tom Tom Tom?
09:38You're just desperate to get your feet out on television.
09:42Oh, you've double knotted them, you nerd!
09:48Minivan in the sock!
09:51Is that a minivan?
09:52I hope so.
09:53I'll never find it.
09:54No.
09:56Yay!
09:57I found it.
10:02OK.
10:03So, Anne and Lloyd, we get it.
10:05You've got a daughter.
10:07Yeah, I've just been thinking about how much she plays
10:09with that minivan and where it's been.
10:11Oh, right, so all the toys made it back to your daughter?
10:14Yeah, that's all she's got, just those toys.
10:17Now, Jenny, you said that Lesser Tom here was a nerd
10:20because he double knotted his shoelaces.
10:22Yeah.
10:23How brutal were the bullies at your school?
10:25Double knotting's a nerd activity.
10:27It is.
10:28So specific.
10:29Also, it's nerdy if you've tied a double knot
10:31when you know the next thing.
10:32If you know that what's going to happen that day
10:34is that Jenny is going to have to get down and untie your shoes,
10:37tying a double knot, I wouldn't say it's nerdy.
10:39That's full creep mode, man.
10:42You just want to keep her down there as long as you can
10:45doing feet knots.
10:47I would like to make it very clear
10:49the double knot was not specific to Jenny.
10:52I actually... He had a combination lock on his shoelace.
10:56I was down there for 45 minutes.
10:59Now, Jenny and Lloyd, you both found the sock with three stripes.
11:02Lloyd, did you not think to look for the other one?
11:04Socks come in pairs, so did you not think to...?
11:07I think I was caught up in the giddiness
11:09of getting new toys for Gwen.
11:12I found the sock with the three stripes
11:14and then when there was a car inside the sock,
11:17then I started thinking about
11:19there's got to be another three-striped sock.
11:21So that is what led you to look at my foot?
11:23Yeah, I wasn't just thinking,
11:25oh, I'm never going to be able to solve this task,
11:27I'll just enjoy an erotic moment with your foot.
11:32I started thinking about other socks
11:34and where the minivan could be
11:36and I distinctly remembered that day
11:38I hadn't put a minivan in my own sock.
11:41All right, what are the scores so far?
11:43So Lloyd removed six socks from the house
11:46before discovering the minivan in my sock.
11:48Ann only removed two socks from the house
11:50and was finished in just four minutes and 40 seconds.
11:53Jenny took 38 minutes and 45 seconds
11:57but still only removed two socks from the house,
11:59so tied with Ann.
12:01OK.
12:02Well, we're due a little ad break,
12:04which should be just enough time to check
12:06what your significant other's been hiding
12:08in their sock this whole time.
12:10Hopefully it's a yummy treat just for you.
12:12We'll see you soon.
12:17APPLAUSE
12:23Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:25It's the show single-handedly keeping
12:27the long sock grabby stick industry afloat.
12:29What's happening, Tom Cashman?
12:31Our contestants are trying to find a sock with a minivan in it.
12:34There are 155 socks up on the house and one on my foot.
12:37All right, who's up next?
12:39He's about to be socked in the face with having to face some socks.
12:42It's Will Anderson.
12:45Why a minivan, Tom?
12:47Is there, like, a fun play on words there or something that I'm missing?
12:50One of these socks?
12:52Like, there's not another sock somewhere that the minivan is in.
12:55That's the sort of tricky thing that you would do.
12:57I'm just going to check there's not another sock somewhere first.
13:00OK.
13:02Tom, you seem to be limping.
13:04Is there a minivan in your sock?
13:06I couldn't possibly say.
13:08Oh, you know what the problem is, that's why you're limping,
13:12there is a minivan in your sock.
13:14Sorry to everyone who went to all that fuss
13:17putting all those socks up there.
13:19This sock was not on the house.
13:21Thanks, Will. Thanks, Tom.
13:29Will, why do you have to suck the joy out of this show?
13:32We're supposed to watch you struggle.
13:34It's OK, there's more sketch comedy to come in this season.
13:37There's heaps more struggles, don't worry.
13:39Allow me this small victory.
13:41Alright, so how many socks was that?
13:43Well, there are 155 socks in total up on the house.
13:46Yep.
13:47Will took down zero of them.
13:53Alright, it always gives me a nice feeling when we've got one left.
13:56No!
13:58And we've already seen someone nail it, so...
14:03Who's last?
14:05His last name is my first name and his first name is what he loves to do,
14:08it's Josh Thomas.
14:10Fewer socks removed from the house wins.
14:12Your time starts now.
14:14Oh.
14:15Wait, it's a time task.
14:17I've got to go fast.
14:18That's nothing. That's nothing.
14:20That looks like a minivan.
14:23That's not a minivan's chunk.
14:25That's a boat. That's a boat.
14:27That was a boat. OK.
14:29It wasn't a van.
14:30You can take a look if you like.
14:32It's a boat.
14:34Is it a boat? Oh, my God.
14:36Oh, maybe I'm going to be a genius at this game.
14:40Is that a minivan? No, it's junk.
14:42OK.
14:43Oh, is that a van? No.
14:45What is it? It doesn't matter, does it, really?
14:47There's two categories, isn't there?
14:49Van and failure.
14:51That's not a van. That's not a van.
14:53It's a dumb toy.
14:55I've got to speed up. Why is that?
14:57Because it's a race, isn't it?
14:59Not really. Isn't it the fastest time wins?
15:01All the information you need is in the top.
15:03Find the minivan in the stock. Fewer socks removed.
15:06Oh. It's not a race. No.
15:08Oh, I didn't read...
15:10I've not got good reading comprehension.
15:12So now that I know it's not a race,
15:14there's something about that that's broken my spirit.
15:16We could be here for so long, couldn't we?
15:21Just a man with his socks.
15:25I've got a bit of a headache.
15:27You've got a headache? From doing this?
15:29How does your soul feel?
15:33Mine's a bit sore.
15:35What I'm going to do is I'm going to pull every sock down.
15:38OK.
15:40Yeah.
15:42You're just pulling all of them?
15:44If this is one of those tasks where it ends
15:46and you hand me another envelope...
15:48You think I've got something hidden on me?
15:50Well, it's always hidden, isn't it?
15:52Oh, f***! What?
15:54There's more socks than you think up there.
15:56Oh.
16:00What kind of socks are you wearing?
16:03They're just white socks.
16:05Right.
16:07I want this to go this way. Oh!
16:09So you've got them all down. That's quite a feat.
16:11Complete opposite of the task.
16:13You literally could not do worse.
16:15This is a mouse.
16:19Would you like a water?
16:21I'd love a water.
16:23We'll get a few waters. Thank you.
16:28It's better in the shade.
16:30Mm-hm.
16:32HE HUMS
16:38Matches your shirt? Yeah.
16:40Not all things match, so that's good.
16:42No.
16:44Should I read the task again?
16:46I think if I was completely wrong,
16:48you would have sort of hinted by now.
16:50Can you let me read it?
16:52You think I would have hinted? It's behind you.
16:54I don't think there's a trick to it.
16:56I think there's just a van and a sock.
16:58I don't think it's one of those socks.
17:00OK.
17:02Find the minivan and the sock.
17:06Oh, my God, it's the real sock.
17:10What makes you think that?
17:18You don't want to look in.
17:20No.
17:22APPLAUSE
17:30LAUGHTER
17:34No, I do feel silly, yeah.
17:38How long was it?
17:40One hour and 43 minutes.
17:42APPLAUSE
17:48So can you just talk us through the moment
17:50where you realised it wasn't a timed task any more
17:52and that it was the least number of socks,
17:54but then after that,
17:56you clearly decided to pull down every sock?
17:58I realised that I had pulled down
18:00so many socks that I've definitely lost.
18:02OK.
18:04But that I needed to complete the task
18:06to get my one point.
18:08I am aware about what you're...
18:10I do know what you're about to say.
18:12What am I about to say?
18:14I then didn't complete the task.
18:18I know, usually I'm very harsh with my rulings,
18:20but in this really difficult decision
18:22as to whether to give you zero or one...
18:24LAUGHTER
18:28I'm going to be slightly lenient this time
18:30and give you one.
18:32APPLAUSE
18:34I will give you one.
18:36So what are the scores for the task, Lesser Tom?
18:38That means Josh gets one point,
18:40Lloyd has two,
18:42Anne and Jenny both on four,
18:44and Will wins the task with five points.
18:46APPLAUSE
18:48I think it's time for some episode scores.
18:50It's a good thing her dad's here.
18:52Jenny's in the lead with nine points.
18:54APPLAUSE
18:56OK, what's up next?
18:58At the end of a sentence, you usually see a full stop.
19:00At the end of this one, it's time for a full slop.
19:02MUSIC PLAYS
19:14Hello.
19:16Hi, Jenny.
19:18Hi, Lloyd.
19:20Hey, boy. I'm here.
19:22Hi, Josh.
19:24Is that, like, a siren?
19:26Red light district.
19:28LAUGHTER
19:30Go full slop mode.
19:32Go full slop mode.
19:34What does slop mode mean?
19:36Fullest slop mode wins.
19:38You have 20 minutes.
19:40Your time starts now.
19:42I don't know what slop mode is.
19:44Would you like me to look up full slop mode?
19:46Could you please?
19:48There's nothing coming up.
19:50Oh, really?
19:52OK, so we're looking not for slop mode.
19:54No. We want full slop mode.
19:56OK, but we don't really know what it is.
19:58No, I looked it up. Couldn't find anything.
20:00OK, who's first?
20:02Going full slop mode for the first time anywhere on planet Earth.
20:04Here's Will Anderson.
20:06Tom.
20:08Activate full slop mode.
20:10MUSIC PLAYS
20:22MUSIC CONTINUES
20:32LAUGHTER
20:36Full slop mode goes for a while.
20:38Oh, something went up my nose!
20:40Ah!
20:42LAUGHTER
20:44Is that the end of full slop mode?
20:48Might be the end of my career, Tom.
20:50Thanks, Will.
20:54Will, there was a little moment there early on
20:56that I really enjoyed
20:58where you literally lent into that task.
21:00I don't think it's full slop mode if the slop finds you.
21:02You've got to find the slop.
21:04Bloody loved it.
21:06I'm just worried about you, though.
21:08Why? I don't know.
21:10What about now? This is good stuff!
21:12But you're a TV host.
21:14You probably turned down this gig
21:16and you're over there getting slop on your phone.
21:18Yes.
21:20How much money do you need me to lend you?
21:22I'm just saying, I would prefer that
21:24than watch you on this show anymore.
21:26I can't handle it anymore.
21:28LAUGHTER
21:30Just a figure.
21:32I mean, that felt a bit real.
21:34LAUGHTER
21:36I feel like we...
21:38It's all fun and games.
21:40I know we're having a good time,
21:42but that crossed the line a little bit.
21:44Alright, sloppy seconds.
21:46First, a break over which Will's going to tell us
21:48about all the other times
21:50something went up his nose
21:52on a TV set. Back soon.
21:54APPLAUSE
21:56MUSIC
22:04Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster.
22:06We've been going full slop mode.
22:08Don't know what that is?
22:10Well, neither do we.
22:12Can you explain it better than that, Tom?
22:14Maybe not. It is what it is.
22:16We've seen Will's full slop mode.
22:18Now it's time for another one.
22:20Alright, who's next?
22:22Going full slop mode for the second time anywhere ever.
22:24It's Jenny Tian.
22:26Hi, I'm Jenny. Summer's coming
22:28so I'm here to remind you about sun safety.
22:30Remember to slip on a T-shirt,
22:32slop on some sunscreen
22:34and slap on a hat.
22:36That's slip...
22:38LAUGHTER
22:40And slap.
22:42Slip.
22:44LAUGHTER
22:46And slap.
22:48Slip.
22:50LAUGHTER
22:54And slap.
22:56Slip.
22:58LAUGHTER
23:08And slap.
23:10APPLAUSE
23:16That was bloody great, Jenny.
23:18Wow.
23:20And I got fair skin, I could relate to it.
23:22That was fantastic.
23:24I can't believe we both, like, creamed ourselves as this task.
23:26LAUGHTER
23:28I think it was great.
23:30It was such an effective ad.
23:32I reckon we could just use that as an ad from now on
23:34for the Slip Slop Slap campaign.
23:36You know what, it's so weird when you're being nice
23:38and you suddenly don't know how to react.
23:40LAUGHTER
23:42I know, it's fun, isn't it? Yeah.
23:44Well, who's next?
23:46Well, going full slop mode for the equal third
23:48and hopefully last time anywhere ever,
23:50it's Lloyd, Josh and Ann.
23:52Right, I'm wondering whether we can go full slops.
23:54As in, you know, like,
23:56full slops, man.
23:58Did you just make this up?
24:00Yeah, I made it up.
24:02One option is sort of, like, to just be lazy.
24:04OK.
24:06You'll get me a beer, yeah?
24:08OK, can I have one too?
24:10I don't care.
24:12It's nice.
24:18Fully slops there.
24:20I'll slop around in the water pretending to be a pig.
24:22OK.
24:24And then you come over with the slops.
24:26What's my character?
24:28Just do, like, a sort of borderline offensive
24:30but not racist country bumpkin voice.
24:32I'm not exactly sure where the lines are, if I'm honest.
24:34OK.
24:36I've got you a beer.
24:40You just relaxing?
24:42I'm not doing any of your questions.
24:44I'm not doing any show things.
24:46This is full slops today out here.
24:48Gnarly, dude.
24:50Fully slops, man.
25:04I don't think they have to hold the cameras up the whole time.
25:06Get down.
25:08It's not worth it.
25:10Slops are so full today.
25:14Oh, I'm in the ocean.
25:16Oh, me hearty.
25:18It's time to feed me pig.
25:30I can't wait to watch them cut this in
25:32while doing stuff.
25:38Fully slops, man.
25:48Is it possible you've mixed up the words
25:50slop and slob?
25:52What?
25:54Nothing.
25:56Thank you.
26:00I feel like we've got yet another insight
26:02into Anne and Lloyd's home life.
26:04So fully slops?
26:06Yeah, it was totally fully slops.
26:08I rode that sloppy wave
26:10and I just really
26:12leant into it, man. I owned it.
26:14And then Lloyd, you were worried
26:16the TV show was forcing you into doing
26:18that...
26:20into doing that task
26:22which could be interpreted in any way at all.
26:24Easily
26:26my least favourite task of the entire
26:28series. That you designated
26:30to yourself.
26:36Now, Josh, you've worked drinking beer
26:38into a task again. Yeah.
26:40I'm worried that you may have...
26:42Did you mix up slops
26:44with slob? No, no, no.
26:46I was trying to do a sloppy performance because I felt like
26:48the task is asking us to go full slop
26:50mode, so it's asking for a lot.
26:52So I thought that what would be slop is
26:54to just do nothing. But that felt like
26:56full slob mode. That's not what I...
26:58That's not how I meant it. That's how it came across.
27:00Okay.
27:04One of the things that's happened over the
27:06season is I've got so few points and I'm doing so
27:08badly that I don't
27:10have it in me to fight for points anymore
27:12because they're meaningless.
27:14So I just score it how you will,
27:16gay daddy.
27:23Alright, I should allocate some points.
27:25Pretty easy. Josh, one.
27:27Okay.
27:29Two points to Will, just because I'm
27:31worried about his career.
27:33Three points to Anne because
27:35I mean, that's pretty sloppy.
27:37Full slops. Four points to
27:39Lloyd because it left a bad taste
27:41in my mouth and his.
27:43Jenny gets five points. Obviously, it was a great ad
27:45for Slip Slop Slap. She definitely went
27:47full slop mode. From now on, kids all around
27:49Australia, before they go to the beach, will go,
27:51can I please go full slop mode?
27:53I think you've really started something. Five points
27:55to Jenny.
27:59Alright, you lazy drunkard. Give me
28:01another task. I like my
28:03tasks how I like my coffee. Strong
28:05or weak. It's up to you, really.
28:07Good morning.
28:19Good morning.
28:21Hi Anne. Hi. How are you going?
28:23I'm okay. That's good.
28:25You got mail.
28:27Oh, I've never had mail before.
28:29You've never had mail? My first mail.
28:33That's yucky.
28:35Oh, that's disgusting.
28:37Spinach, is it? Yeah.
28:39Okay.
28:45Make yourself look extremely
28:47strong or extremely
28:49weak. Most extreme
28:51show of strength.
28:53All weakness wins. You have twenty minutes
28:55and your time starts now.
28:59Oh. That didn't work.
29:01What strengths do you have?
29:03White straight man, that used to be enough.
29:05I feel like my
29:07natural demeanour is
29:09weakness, so I'm gonna
29:11try be strong. Quite a weak
29:13person. I think stronger.
29:15I'm going to go for
29:17strength. Strengths, an extreme
29:19show of strength. And then maybe we have a
29:21like a fist fight. Oh.
29:23Mano e mano. Am I one of the manos?
29:25I reckon.
29:29So, four of them went
29:31with strength and Josh yet to decide.
29:33Yeah. Alright, which strong man or woman
29:35are we seeing first? Does she even
29:37lift my spirits when she enters a room?
29:39Most definitely. It's Jenny Tian.
29:41Welcome to the
29:43universe's strongest
29:45heavyweight championship of
29:47strong physical strength
29:49where I have been crowned the
29:51champion of the universe by
29:53all of the judges from the universe
29:55and I have won, unlike
29:57these losers, Rubber Dark
29:59and Paddle Pop Sleeping
30:01Bear because they are weak and
30:03I am strong. As you can
30:05see with my muscles here
30:07and also my strong moustache
30:09and really strong
30:11outfit.
30:13And to prove my feat of strength,
30:15I'm really going to
30:17get ready for this one and show you
30:19guys how physically strong I am.
30:21I will lift
30:23this hammer with one hand.
30:25One.
30:27Wow.
30:29Light as a feather.
30:31Oh my god. So
30:33light. I am really strong.
30:37Wow.
30:39No effort at all.
30:47Yeah, your last line there was, wow, no effort
30:49at all and I feel like we
30:51could all see that.
30:53I was just
30:55thinking like the Olympics,
30:57like the OG Olympics, like Greek, you
30:59know, where they're like really, really
31:01strong and then also the outfit
31:03as well would make me look like that
31:05stereotypical
31:07Greek strength. I'm still just
31:09reflecting on you calling the ancient Olympic
31:11Games the OG Olympics.
31:13Old and Greek.
31:17Fair enough.
31:19Can I just say, Tom, I don't like
31:21complimenting you but
31:23that hammer
31:25is so heavy. That thing you
31:27were lifting up, it was cool, man.
31:29I hate to ruin my own compliment here
31:31but it weighs 6.76 kilograms.
31:37Okay, that's another
31:39part of the showdown. Deep breaths, come
31:41on, push, push. I can see its head.
31:43Oh, it's hideous. It's
31:45another ad break. See you soon.
31:53Welcome back to Tars Bars
31:57to where five comedians are battling
31:59for the right to own Josh Thomas'
32:01butthole. Sometimes I just have
32:03to say it as it is. Inform us
32:05of where we are, please. Our contestants
32:07are trying to look extremely strong
32:09or extremely weak. So far, Jenny has
32:11lifted a big hammer with absolutely no help
32:13at all.
32:15Up next, attempting feet of strength and also
32:17strength throughout the rest of their bodies,
32:19it's Will and Anne.
32:21Why don't I try
32:23and pull something
32:25like a horse?
32:27Pull a horse? No, like a horse.
32:29As in you're the horse? Yeah.
32:31Alright, Tom, this is the ultimate show of
32:33strength. Okay. I'm going to single
32:35handedly with these two ropes, so double
32:37handedly, pull this van that
32:39is behind me. But the thing that's going to make it
32:41even trickier as a feet of strength is
32:43you are going to be tempting me with
32:45an array of things so I have to actually
32:47show strength to turn
32:49them down as well. Okay, could I interest you in a
32:51lolly? No!
32:53Okay.
32:59Tempt me again! Tempt me harder!
33:01Could I interest you in a vegan sausage?
33:03Oh no! You cannot interest me
33:05in a vegan sausage! I am too
33:07strong for a vegan sausage!
33:11Alright, yell out my strengths.
33:13Okay, how are you at scrambling
33:15eggs? I'm the best!
33:17When do you pay the mortgage? Most of
33:19the time on time. I've had two
33:21slip ups around Christmas.
33:23How are you at making muffins with your daughter?
33:25I'm the best! And that's it?
33:27That's it. Tempt me again!
33:29Could I interest you in keys to a 1965
33:31Ford Mustang? I am more interested
33:33but I am showing my
33:35strengths!
33:37We'll look around you.
33:39Oh wow,
33:41I did it.
33:43Those are all the strengths.
33:45That's it,
33:47I've had it. You're on your own buddy.
33:49Okay. Have a good day, see ya.
33:51Man, I actually did not think I was
33:53going to be able to do that.
33:55Thank you. Thanks Will.
34:05Okay, now Will, is resisting
34:07a vegan sausage a sign of strength?
34:09Because I've managed to do it
34:11for my entire life
34:13without even thinking about it.
34:15I mean, to be fair, it also wasn't
34:17a vegan sausage, it was made out of plasticine
34:19I believe.
34:21So you double stacked it there, you were strong
34:23because you were pulling the van, and also because
34:25you were resisting treats that you quite enjoy eating.
34:27The weird thing is, I was really sore the next
34:29day, despite
34:31the fact that you might have seen I had a little assistance
34:33at the end, but the idea was to
34:35look extremely strong.
34:37Right, whereas Anne,
34:39you...
34:43Nay!
34:45Well you got no
34:47help, you actually did the work
34:49yourself. I pulled this guy, and how
34:51much...
34:59Yes, I pulled Tom Cashman
35:01and you weigh how much Tom Cashman?
35:0380 kilograms. I pulled 80 kilograms.
35:07I would say 80 kilograms
35:09are relatively impressive for a human
35:11woman, not very impressive for a horse.
35:13But also, I think your
35:15horse suit was a cow suit, wasn't it?
35:17I mean, yes.
35:19I think that's how it was originally designed.
35:21I don't want to bring up the patriarchy as well,
35:25but I'm a woman
35:27who you've just called a cow,
35:31and yet I pulled you
35:33like I've
35:35pulled every man in this industry
35:37behind me!
35:39Move!
35:43Alright, take us to the next gun show
35:45please. You are the weakest link.
35:47Hello, it's Josh Thomas.
35:49Extremely weak
35:51would be like you say something mean
35:53to me and then
35:55I crumble. What do weak
35:57people do when they're attacked? They attack back.
35:59I suppose. So then they get defensive.
36:01So if you did something slightly mean to me,
36:03and then I came back and I did something
36:05extremely terrible to you,
36:07that'd be quite weak, I think.
36:09Okay.
36:11G'day, Josh. Oh, hey, hey, honey.
36:13How are you doing? No!
36:15No! Back off!
36:21What happened?
36:23What?
36:25No, no, there's a bit in the scene.
36:27Who shits lady? I'm saying the scene.
36:29You've broken the scene.
36:31Why did you do that? I don't know why.
36:33I don't know.
36:37We'll cut that bit.
36:39Oh, no.
36:41I don't know
36:43why I did that. I'm sorry.
36:45I'm very weak
36:47and I had a very difficult
36:49childhood.
36:51What was it like?
36:53They were late to pick me up from preschool
36:55and I never got a horse. That doesn't justify this.
36:57No, but...
36:59I'm sorry.
37:01I'm sorry. Please.
37:03I'm going through a lot. I think I might be gay.
37:07APPLAUSE
37:13I feel like you're sending a confused message.
37:15What I saw was a very
37:17strong gay man
37:19asserting himself.
37:21Yeah, it's
37:23sometimes the greatest strength
37:25can come out of weak moments
37:27and I came out and that's
37:29my strong moment and that was my
37:31entry. I was being really strong and I was
37:33coming out, which you
37:35are about to do.
37:37LAUGHTER
37:41As we know from people who've watched previous
37:43episodes, I'm gay.
37:45LAUGHTER
37:47You happy?
37:49I'm happy.
37:51I cheered you up, didn't I? So we're going to accept that as a show
37:53of extreme strength. Coming out.
37:55OK, I reckon. Oh, God!
37:57LAUGHTER
37:59Give us our final grower, shower
38:01or knower, please. Let's hope
38:03this show is the only thing he's done weekly.
38:05It's Lloyd Langford.
38:07What I'm thinking is, we could have a fight.
38:09OK. But I'll win.
38:11Oh. I feel like there needs to be
38:13some sort of narrative to it, right?
38:15OK. I'm having a night out with my zebra
38:17and you're
38:19staring. At the zebra?
38:21Yeah, in a sort of
38:23lustful... Oh, I was hoping you were going to
38:25say appropriate. No, you're like
38:27coveting the zebra. So if I've
38:29wronged you in regards
38:31to this kind of animal, will you call it a zebra crossing?
38:33LAUGHTER
38:35Yeah, that's not bad, actually.
38:37LAUGHTER
38:39Hey, excuse me, mate.
38:41Hey. Hey.
38:43Can you stop looking at my zebra?
38:45I'll look at whatever zebra I want.
38:47It's a free country. I don't see any laws
38:49about not looking at a zebra, even if it's your zebra.
38:51We're just trying to have a quiet
38:53night out here together. OK.
38:55And you've been disrupted by your
38:57perverted glances.
38:59Move away from the zebra.
39:01I refuse to move away from the zebra.
39:03Right, well, I'm going to move you away, then.
39:05Oh, really? I'm a strong man.
39:07I'm not a violent person. You've pushed me beyond
39:09my limits. Stop staring at my
39:11zebra! If you stare at my zebra
39:13once more, I'm going to give you the slap of a lifetime.
39:15Right, I've had enough now.
39:17GUNSHOT
39:19LAUGHTER
39:21APPLAUSE
39:23LAUGHTER
39:25Come on, love, let's go home. I've had enough of this.
39:27LAUGHTER
39:29APPLAUSE
39:31CHEERING
39:33APPLAUSE
39:35So,
39:37you beat up Tom Cashman.
39:39Is that a sign of...
39:41LAUGHTER
39:43..extreme strength? Well, Lloyd punched me
39:4517 metres.
39:47Which, I looked it up, like, how hard
39:49you'd have to hit something, and it's physically impossible.
39:51Initially, I wanted to do
39:53lots of different, like, tests of strength.
39:55You know, like they do in Scandinavian
39:57countries, where they have the wife-carrying
39:59championships?
40:01LAUGHTER
40:03I forgot about this. I carried
40:05Tom back
40:07and forth across the Pardoch
40:09several times.
40:11On one of the occasions,
40:13he farted on me.
40:15LAUGHTER
40:17He did a full fart on me.
40:19You had my stomach here.
40:21We'd just had lunch.
40:23LAUGHTER
40:25Alright, well, I guess I should hand out some
40:27scores. Yes, please. I'm going to give
40:29one point to Will, because he was only pretending.
40:31What? That was the whole point of the game,
40:33was to pretend. You've got to be showing
40:35extreme strength. Extreme strength?
40:37I pulled a minivan.
40:39You avoided a vegan sausage.
40:41I didn't mention this earlier,
40:43but in actual, kind of, strongman
40:45contests, they drag trucks
40:4720 times the weight of that van.
40:49You know what? I just thought it'd be
40:51a bit of fun to have a little argument. I don't need
40:53your follow-up to tell me...
40:55LAUGHTER
40:57APPLAUSE
40:59LAUGHTER
41:01LAUGHTER
41:03Alright, and so I'm going to go for
41:05two points to Lloyd, because you
41:07beat out someone, and that was impressive, but it was
41:09only Tom Cashman, which was easy to do.
41:11Three points to Jenny,
41:13because I could tell
41:15that it wasn't her.
41:17Four points to Anne,
41:19because you actually showed genuine strength.
41:21I did. As you pointed out, you've been
41:23pulling men
41:25in the industry for years,
41:27and...
41:29And it's a lot.
41:31It is a lot. It's a lot to take on, and I'm
41:33sick of it.
41:35I've got sore wrists, and I want to host
41:37my own TV show.
41:39LAUGHTER
41:41APPLAUSE
41:43But it takes a lot of strength
41:45to come out, so, Josh?
41:47Oh, yeah, because you...
41:49LAUGHTER
41:51Five points to Josh. Yay!
41:53APPLAUSE
41:55It's time for another ad break.
41:57You can block your ears and shut your eyes,
41:59but what if you miss the part where we
42:01come back? Don't even risk it.
42:03Back with our final task of the show soon.
42:05APPLAUSE
42:07MUSIC
42:09MUSIC
42:11MUSIC
42:13APPLAUSE
42:15Welcome back to Taskmaster.
42:17Someone here's getting ready to
42:19sink a strongbow, chuck a new nose
42:21on their new skull, sniff a butt
42:23and pop a Plan B pill.
42:25Goodie. Lesser Tom,
42:27catch us up on who's winning the episode so far.
42:29Well, looks like this one is between Jenny
42:31and Anne, but Jenny has a two-point lead
42:33on 17 points.
42:35APPLAUSE
42:37Alright, up to the stage for our live task.
42:39APPLAUSE
42:41MUSIC
42:43Alright, Lesser Tom, what's going on here?
42:45Are we teaching Jenny how to read
42:47a clock with hands?
42:49Or she'll read first. Oh!
42:53Perform a 30-second scene
42:55that communicates to the Taskmaster
42:57what time the clock says.
42:59You may only say one word per
43:01team member, and that word cannot be
43:03morning, day, afternoon,
43:05night, sunrise, sunset,
43:07dawn, dusk, breakfast,
43:09brunch, lunch, dinner, quarter,
43:11half, one, two, three, four, five,
43:13six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
43:15eleven, twelve. Each team
43:17will get three randomly selected
43:19times and three scenes.
43:21Closest times guessed by the Taskmaster
43:23to the actual times wins.
43:25Wow, that was so clear.
43:27LAUGHTER
43:29They get three words?
43:31And where are us? Good question.
43:33One person on
43:35your team can say two words each
43:37scene. Well, that'll be Josh.
43:39LAUGHTER
43:41We're a team.
43:43Alright, we ready? Taskmaster
43:45is averting his eyes.
43:47MUSIC
43:49MUSIC
43:51MUSIC
43:53MUSIC
43:55MUSIC
43:57MUSIC
43:59MUSIC
44:01MUSIC
44:03MUSIC
44:05MUSIC
44:07LAUGHTER
44:09You were late to work and school,
44:11so I'm going to say ten to nine.
44:13I mean, come off it.
44:15LAUGHTER
44:17MUSIC
44:19MUSIC
44:21Almost fell.
44:23LAUGHTER
44:25Mummy!
44:27LAUGHTER
44:29Mummy! Almost.
44:31APPLAUSE
44:33I don't know, school finishes
44:353.30, so I'm going to say quarter
44:37to three in the afternoon.
44:39APPLAUSE
44:41MUSIC
44:43MUSIC
44:45MUSIC
44:47MUSIC
44:49MUSIC
44:51MUSIC
44:53MUSIC
44:55MUSIC
44:57MUSIC
44:59They have to be his words, don't they?
45:01He said way too many words.
45:03I hadn't started, though.
45:05Yes, you had. OK.
45:07WHISTLE BLOWS
45:09APPLAUSE
45:11The Wiggles get the maximum
45:13time due to a violation
45:15of the rules.
45:17MUSIC
45:19WHISTLE BLOWS
45:21It's a shame.
45:23WHISTLE BLOWS Almost fell.
45:25LAUGHTER
45:27Mummy!
45:29APPLAUSE
45:31Mummy!
45:33WHISTLE BLOWS
45:35LAUGHTER
45:37I'm guessing it's the exact
45:39same time, so I'm going to guess
45:412.45pm.
45:43APPLAUSE
45:45MUSIC
45:47MUSIC
45:49Happy New
45:51Year!
45:53APPLAUSE
45:55WHISTLE BLOWS
45:5712am.
45:59APPLAUSE
46:01Is this our last one? Yeah.
46:03MUSIC
46:05LAUGHTER
46:07WHISTLE BLOWS Bell! Mummy's here!
46:09LAUGHTER
46:11APPLAUSE
46:13APPLAUSE
46:15WHISTLE BLOWS
46:17I'm guessing it's not the exact same time.
46:19I'm going to go with 3.30pm.
46:21APPLAUSE
46:23APPLAUSE
46:25All right, I don't need any more bad improv
46:27I know what time it is, I know what time it is.
46:29It's time for a break. See you soon.
46:31APPLAUSE
46:33MUSIC
46:35MUSIC
46:37APPLAUSE
46:39Welcome back to Taskmaster, where I've just spent
46:41the last five minutes guessing what the time
46:43was.
46:45All right, so what are the scores for the live task?
46:47Well, we're scoring this one by how many minutes our teams
46:49were away from the actual time that they had
46:51to depict. The discount wiggles
46:53were 724 minutes
46:55away.
46:57APPLAUSE
46:59The hoolie-doolies, over the course of three
47:01rounds, only 18 minutes
47:03away. APPLAUSE
47:05APPLAUSE
47:07So I guess it's up to you how to score them.
47:09Well, that's pretty easy. I think it's
47:1155111.
47:13APPLAUSE
47:15APPLAUSE
47:17All right, what does that do to the overall scores for the episode?
47:19Well, it's been a huge episode
47:21for Jenny Tian, but Anne Edmonds gets her
47:23second in the season with 20 points!
47:25APPLAUSE
47:27Congratulations, Anne!
47:29Go claim your five things that are
47:31great to have one of, but progressively
47:33worse when multiplied.
47:35Go and enjoy!
47:37APPLAUSE
47:39APPLAUSE
47:41And how's the season going, Lesser Tom?
47:43Well, Jenny and Josh, they're scrapping it
47:45out with 93 each. Will's
47:47in the middle. Anne has skyrocketed into
47:49second place, but Lloyd is out in front
47:51with 113 points.
47:53APPLAUSE
47:55That's episode seven,
47:57done, dusted and in the cupboard.
47:59But what have we learnt? Well, we
48:01all learnt that despite the subtle
48:03encouragement, full slot mode
48:05will never catch on.
48:07Josh learnt that despite my harsh
48:09exterior, sometimes I will give one
48:11instead of zero.
48:13And Anne learnt that despite
48:15common sense in this one case,
48:17giving a bloke a pull has gotten
48:19her to the top.
48:21Betty Happy returns to her. She's our winner.
48:23Let's do this all again
48:25next week. See ya!
48:27APPLAUSE
48:29APPLAUSE
48:31APPLAUSE
48:33APPLAUSE
48:35APPLAUSE
48:37APPLAUSE
48:39APPLAUSE
48:41APPLAUSE
48:43No, I don't want this to go on TV.
48:45This might
48:47have been a futile request from me.
48:49Wow.
48:51Thanks for being such a good friend.
48:53You little dickhead. I think you showed a
48:55different side of you. You were funny.
48:57LAUGHTER