A Father-Daughter Swearing Lesson in “The F-Word”

The New Yorker

In Alex and Paul Cannon’s comedic short, starring Chris Gethard, a dad struggles to give an age-appropriate explanation of the expletive.

Transcript

00:00 (gentle music)

00:02 - Dad?

00:13 - Yeah, sweetheart?

00:14 - Dad, what does fuck mean?

00:17 - Where did you hear that?

00:25 Did mommy's boyfriend say that?

00:28 - No, heard it at school.

00:30 - Well, we call that the F word.

00:37 - Fuck?

00:38 - Yeah.

00:39 - It's a bad word?

00:41 - Yeah.

00:42 Yeah.

00:44 Depending on how you use it, yeah.

00:48 - Why, what's it mean?

00:49 - Well, I guess the most basic definition

00:54 is to make love to someone you don't even like.

00:59 - Why would you do that?

01:04 - I wouldn't.

01:07 I wouldn't.

01:09 You know what though?

01:15 It's actually a very versatile word though.

01:19 It's got a lot more meanings than that.

01:21 A lot of people use it as an expression of joy.

01:24 Like someone gets really good news in their life,

01:26 they're like, "Fuck!"

01:28 You know?

01:29 But then sometimes when people are in physical pain,

01:31 that's the word that comes out.

01:32 Like you stub your toe, you're like, "Fuck!

01:35 "Fuck!"

01:36 You know?

01:37 So it goes in a bunch of different directions,

01:39 is the point.

01:40 Turns into an insult when you use it as a noun.

01:48 Remember you've learned about nouns?

01:49 You could be like, "Wait, she's with who?

01:52 "That guy?"

01:54 'Cause he's like the definition of a dumb fuck

01:56 'cause he's such a fucker.

01:58 That guy is a fucker and he fucking sucks.

02:01 That would mean like, "That guy is such a jerk

02:03 "and he really sucks."

02:06 You know?

02:09 But you don't just say it to jerks

02:11 'cause you actually say it to people

02:12 when you really agree with them too.

02:14 Somebody says something you really agree with,

02:16 you're like, "Fucking A!

02:18 "Fucking A, right?

02:19 "Look to the future.

02:20 "You can't look backwards."

02:21 And also sometimes it can be almost like a synonym

02:25 for the phrase, like, "Too bad, too bad."

02:29 I failed bio, ah, fuck.

02:33 - What's bio?

02:35 - I can only explain so many things in a day

02:37 if I'm being honest.

02:39 As a verb it gets really interesting

02:43 'cause that becomes a threat.

02:45 You know what I mean?

02:47 Like you can tell somebody, like,

02:49 "Hey, I'm gonna fuck you up."

02:50 You're gonna get fucked up.

02:52 And when you use it like that,

02:53 when you use the phrase fucked up,

02:55 that's not about trying to have sex at that point.

02:57 That's more, "I'm gonna hurt your body using my body."

03:00 Or weapons, you know?

03:04 Before I forget though, fucked up has one other meaning.

03:10 I don't want you to not have the whole scope of that

03:14 'cause it can also mean impaired.

03:15 Usually people say it in reference

03:17 to having drank too much.

03:18 They'll be like, "Oh, I had so many beers.

03:19 I'm so fucked up."

03:20 You'll hear that one a lot actually in college.

03:23 That's where you'll hear that.

03:25 It can also denote that the state of something is broken.

03:30 It's another way to use it.

03:33 Like, "My marriage is fucked."

03:36 And you can use it if you feel like you've been screwed over.

03:42 That makes a lot of sense too.

03:44 - Like S-E-X?

03:46 - No.

03:48 Good guess.

03:49 In this case, more like if you feel like you got

03:51 maybe double crossed in a way, you know?

03:53 Like, a good example would be like,

03:55 "Oh, wow, mommy really doesn't care

03:58 how much she fucked this family."

04:01 You know?

04:03 Yeah, usually.

04:10 Usually it applies to S-E-X, yeah.

04:12 Do you know about the cognates?

04:14 The cognates are amazing.

04:15 Fuck face, fucko, fuck nuts, fuck wit, fuck stick.

04:19 I always liked that one.

04:21 That one means penis.

04:23 They're all insults at the end of the day.

04:25 Have you ever heard the word fuckery?

04:27 - Nope.

04:29 - Okay, let's not even worry about that one.

04:31 I mean, we'll just stick with the ones that are more common.

04:33 Now, remind me, where did you hear it exactly?

04:36 - One of the girls at recess said it.

04:40 She said, "Fuck that."

04:42 - Huh.

04:43 I'm gonna need more context.

04:46 - Teacher asked her to let me join their four square game

04:51 and she was like, "Fuck that."

04:54 - Man, that is a good use of that word.

05:06 'Cause that's almost like, to hell with,

05:09 or to heck with that.

05:10 Like, who needs that crap, right?

05:12 It's a very good use of that.

05:13 It really is just like such a flexible word.

05:17 - Seems pretty useful.

05:23 - It is.

05:24 It really is.

05:25 And now that you know it,

05:28 the most important thing is that you never, ever say it.

05:31 (gentle music)

05:37 (children chattering)

05:40 - So, where were we?

05:50 There's other cognates too,

05:51 like mother fuckers and great women.

05:53 That can mean someone who has SEX with their own mother,

05:58 but it doesn't have to.

05:59 It can mean a lot of things.

06:03 (gentle music)

06:05 - I will never fucking say it again.

06:10 - Okay, that's the last time.

06:11 Please don't say it again.

06:13 - Okay.

06:15 - Great.

06:16 So that picture has too much fucking brown in it.

06:19 Last time, you can say it one more time now,

06:22 since I said it one more time.

06:24 - Fuck you!

06:25 - Okay.

06:26 I've been hearing a lot of that lately.

06:28 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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