If You've Done Something Wrong, Watch This

Goalcast

Terry Crews made a bad decision that hurt the person he loved the most... and learns the importance of taking ownership of one's actions.

Transcript

00:00 She was like, "What is it I don't know about you, Terry Crews?"

00:06 Because we had been arguing all night.

00:09 And those words, I remember just hanging up.

00:14 And then I laid there in the bed, and I was like, "You know what? Keep the lie. Keep the lie. Don't tell her."

00:22 And I was in that room, and I was like, "Man, how could I do this?"

00:27 And I was like, "How did I do that?"

00:30 What happened is I was in Vancouver.

00:33 I decided for the first time to go to a massage parlor.

00:37 And I'd heard about things, but she's like, "Well, I'll just, no, I'll go get a massage."

00:41 You literally justified.

00:43 I went there, and was unfaithful.

00:47 When it was over, I remember going back to my room, and I was like, "I crossed the line."

00:54 [Music]

00:59 Even thinking about it now, it was so dark.

01:03 You know what I mean? I remember just going back in the room, and I went back.

01:07 And I was like, "Man, how did I do that?"

01:10 And I was like, "It sunk in on me that I knew."

01:14 I said, "Oh, my God."

01:16 And then I called a friend.

01:17 And then he said, "Terry, look, I cannot guarantee you or promise you that your wife will ever come back.

01:25 But you have a problem."

01:27 I called her up, and I told her.

01:32 I'll never forget the gasp on the other end of the line.

01:37 It was like, "Oh, my God."

01:39 And she said, "Oh, my God."

01:42 She said, "Terry, don't come home.

01:46 You don't have a home to come to."

01:47 I said, "Terry, you have to hold yourself accountable."

01:54 You think there are no consequences for your actions, but there are always consequences for every act you do.

02:00 Everything, good or bad.

02:03 But then, when you mess your whole life up, being a fool, you become a victim.

02:07 The table is always full of excuses.

02:11 And I went through the process of guilt, of making sure I was guilty.

02:19 I knew what--I said, "I put my wife through this.

02:22 I put my family through this.

02:24 I did this.

02:25 I did this."

02:27 Now, let me correct it.

02:28 Let me tell you.

02:29 And I have to say this.

02:32 The forgiveness that my wife showed me was, when I say, a card-carrying lesson for any person ever.

02:43 Because--and I understand why people get divorced.

02:46 I do.

02:47 First of all, I should be.

02:49 But this woman--this is the intimacy that I always, always wanted.

02:57 Because she saw me for who I was, for real.

03:00 I said, "Terry, I love you anyway."

03:06 Yeah.

03:07 Wow.

03:09 That's all you want.

03:10 Yeah.

03:12 That's all I ever wanted.

03:15 All I ever wanted was to be seen for who I was.

03:21 And I was like, "Do you love me?"

03:23 Like, I thought it was real.

03:25 I was like--I thought she wouldn't come back.

03:29 But she did.

03:30 She said, "But Terry, I love you."

03:33 Man, that blew me away.

03:35 Because I was living this man life, and here I am.

03:38 You see me as nothing.

03:40 I'm like--I feel about myself.

03:41 Like, I feel like I'm worth dirt.

03:44 And she was like, "I love you."

03:48 And man, that changed everything.

03:50 It was like, oh.

03:52 The thing that I needed, I was running from the whole time.

03:56 I was running from it the whole time.

03:59 And I vowed.

04:00 I said, after that, I said, "My God.

04:03 My God, I can correct this.

04:05 This is fictional.

04:07 This is fictional.

04:08 This is not something--this is what I learned through counseling."

04:11 And I continue to this day.

04:13 I mean, it's been 10 years of constant, constant work.

04:17 That's accountability.

04:18 You pay the price.

04:20 Forgiveness and accountability go hand in hand.

04:24 You know what I mean?

04:25 And that's what I have dedicated my life to doing.

04:30 We need to say what it is we did wrong.

04:34 I'm not spreading shit.

04:36 But I am saying we need to say we're guilty.

04:39 [music]

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