Jerry Seinfeld announces Australian stand-up comedy tour

Australian Community Media

Comedy king Jerry Seinfeld, 69, is set to return to Australia in June next year for his first national stand-up tour since 2017, featuring shows in Perth, Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Melbourne.

Transcript

00:00 It was just kind of grind forward and back.

00:02 (imitates motor)

00:05 It was like a grain elevator motor

00:07 with just two horses welding on top.

00:10 (imitates motor)

00:13 Are we milling buckwheat or am I in an amusement park?

00:16 So I'm supposed to go down to Florida next week

00:17 after we're done here.

00:18 That's where all my relatives live.

00:20 I don't really want to go.

00:21 Florida, a lot of old people down there.

00:25 You know, they live in those minimum security prisons.

00:27 That's where they put all the old people.

00:30 What's with all the security there

00:31 with the guard gate, with the arm coming down,

00:33 everyone's got a uniform, guns.

00:35 Are the old people trying to escape

00:36 or are people stealing old people?

00:39 What is the security problem?

00:41 I just can't drive around there.

00:44 You know how the old people drive?

00:46 They drive slow, they sit low.

00:48 That is their motto.

00:50 State flag of Florida should be just a steering wheel

00:53 with a hat and two knuckles on it.

00:55 (audience laughing)

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