I Was Controlled by Fear | Chef Dave - video Dailymotion

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Struck by tragedy, Chef Dave transformed his biggest hardship into a motivator for change. With a family to support and a fading dream, he mustered the strength to rebuild the life he always wanted.

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00:00 I couldn't believe it.

00:00 And I was just like, you know, it's like that.

00:03 You know, I was just shaking and it was,

00:05 I couldn't believe it.

00:07 Her name was Molly,

00:10 and that's who I ended up getting married to.

00:12 And then we had a couple of kids of our own.

00:15 One of the things about Molly was holidays were everything.

00:19 Like she would make holidays so special for those kids.

00:23 And what ended up happening is it was October of 2014.

00:28 It was a Saturday.

00:30 The kids were home and were playing in the house.

00:32 She was in the playroom.

00:33 And all of a sudden she was having trouble breathing.

00:36 I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe.

00:38 She couldn't even speak.

00:40 And the kids, I told the kids, I said,

00:42 mom's not feeling well.

00:45 You guys got to stay out of here for now.

00:47 You know, her eyes kind of rolled up a little bit.

00:52 And there's like a little, you know,

00:57 mouth and I pant, I was terrified.

01:02 It wasn't right, you know, and I called,

01:04 I called 911 and they were sending somebody,

01:08 but it was going to take time.

01:09 And she was out at that point.

01:12 She was not conscious.

01:13 And I took her and I put her on the ground and they,

01:16 I didn't know how to do any mouth to mouth or anything.

01:19 They talked me through it on the phone.

01:20 They had me, you know, on her chest

01:23 and all that kind of stuff.

01:24 And I did what I could, but she was not, she was out.

01:28 And so they put her in the car

01:30 and I went out back with the kids.

01:31 I said, you guys, let's, we just got to pray.

01:33 You know, mom's, mom's really not doing good.

01:36 And I was just praying like crazy, please, you know,

01:40 and it was a female doctor.

01:43 Finally, she came up to me and said, you know,

01:45 we did, we did the best she could.

01:47 We could, but she's gone.

01:48 And I mean, she was 43.

01:54 You know, just, we didn't know.

01:59 It's not like she had something for a while and was sick

02:02 and we had time and she was just gone, you know?

02:06 And I, I walked out and I just screamed.

02:11 I just screamed as loud as I could.

02:14 I was just, I just wanted out of my body.

02:16 I wanted out of my skin.

02:18 Like my skin felt heavy.

02:19 My body just felt like it was crushing me.

02:23 And I just wanted to just not, not to be dead,

02:25 not to be gone, but just, just for a minute,

02:28 be out of all that weight.

02:29 And then I had to go home, you know,

02:31 and I had to go home and I had to be with the kids.

02:34 And that was probably the longest night of my life.

02:38 No matter what I was feeling, I knew it was way worse

02:41 for them.

02:42 It was my sole purpose at that moment to be there for them.

02:47 One of the things I said to myself is I don't care

02:50 what I have in the tank, if I'm totally out or what,

02:54 I'm gonna make these, these holidays awesome

02:56 for these kids.

02:57 I'm gonna, you know, Halloween's gonna feel like Halloween

02:59 and Thanksgiving is gonna feel like Thanksgiving

03:02 and Christmas is gonna be, you know, and I just,

03:05 I think it almost killed me, but I did it, you know?

03:08 And I really pushed myself to make each one

03:12 of those holidays what they were

03:13 because they had already lost enough.

03:16 And that was a big part of the beginning of their healing

03:19 at the same time as I'm just being crushed

03:22 and feeling all these things, I had to pull it together

03:25 and be there for them.

03:26 Out of such a dark and terrible thing,

03:28 there is an amazing thing that you find out about yourself

03:32 because every morning you wake up and you're like,

03:35 how the fuck am I gonna do this?

03:37 You feel like just not even getting out of bed,

03:40 but then you gotta pull yourself out,

03:42 you gotta wake up the kids and you gotta make breakfast.

03:44 Every day you do it and you get through the day

03:47 and you get to the end of the day and it's nighttime

03:50 and somehow the strength is there.

03:53 So one of the things though that happens

03:55 when you go through something like that

03:57 and you kind of look at your life

03:59 and you realize, wow, it's fragile, man.

04:01 If life is gonna be this fragile,

04:03 what do I want my life to look like

04:05 and what can I do to get there?

04:06 I said, okay, I'm gonna have to change

04:08 what my job is for sure.

04:10 I wanna do my dream again.

04:12 That's where Outstanding Foods was born.

04:15 And really for the first time in my life,

04:17 no joke, for the first time in my life,

04:19 I was actually directing my life.

04:21 Even though I was in this shit storm,

04:23 I was in hell, I was miserable,

04:26 I was crying all the time and yet at the same time,

04:30 the healing was already starting,

04:32 I was starting to take charge of my life.

04:34 Most of us, our life is kind of a combination

04:38 of what we meant to have happen

04:40 and what kind of came our way

04:41 and so your life becomes this kind of thing

04:45 that maybe wasn't quite what you wanted

04:47 and I remember even thinking things like,

04:48 oh, I don't deserve that,

04:50 oh, I don't deserve to be successful,

04:52 I don't deserve good things happening to me.

04:55 My entire being was controlled by fear.

04:59 I was afraid of stuff and so I avoided it

05:02 and then it just didn't happen

05:04 but it was stuff that I wanted to do too.

05:06 People say you don't wanna get to the end

05:08 and have regrets and in order to get to the end of the path

05:11 and not have all the regrets,

05:12 you're gonna have to make that choice at some point.

05:15 A few years ago, I knew that when I got to the end,

05:17 there was gonna be a boatload of regrets

05:19 and now the regrets have fallen away

05:22 and I think that's how it all aligns.

05:24 You have this gift you're given

05:26 and you have this passion.

05:28 If that's the thing that's gonna drive you,

05:30 if that's the thing that's gonna make you excited

05:33 about being alive, I mean, there's so many things in life

05:35 that are burying us and pushing us down

05:38 and making it hard to get up in the morning.

05:40 If that's your thing, you just gotta find your spot

05:43 and you gotta go for it

05:45 and honestly, I used to feel like I was drowning

05:48 all the time, just trying to find air

05:50 and trying to breathe and it's not like that anymore.

05:53 After all of that darkness, there's light

05:56 and this is me driving the car now.

05:57 (gentle music)

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06:07 (gentle music)

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06:15 (gentle music)

06:17 you

I Was Controlled by Fear | Chef Dave

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