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00:00The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, starring the entire Nelson family.
00:05Here is Ozzie, who plays the part of Ozzie Nelson.
00:08And of course, his lovely wife Harriet, as Harriet Nelson.
00:12The older of the Nelson boys, David, appears as David Nelson.
00:16And his younger brother, the irrepressible Ricky, played by Ricky Nelson.
00:20The Nelson's next-door neighbor, Thorny, is played by Don DeFore.
00:26More coffee, dear?
00:29Oh, no thanks. I have enough left right here.
00:33You didn't finish your eggs, did you?
00:36Oh, well, I ate most of them.
00:44How come you fried the eggs this morning?
00:47Oh, I don't know. You've had boiled eggs every morning for so long.
00:50I just thought I'd fry them, give you a little change.
00:52You didn't like them, did you?
00:54Oh, well, yeah. They were okay. I ate most of them.
01:00Yes, but you didn't like them. I could tell. You didn't smile.
01:03Oh, well, I don't very often smile when I'm eating eggs.
01:08Not unless it happens to be a wide egg sandwich, and then I kind of...
01:13I'm sorry. I just thought I'd give you something a little different for a change.
01:17Oh, I liked them. They were okay.
01:20You see, it's just that I usually have boiled eggs,
01:23and I don't think there's any reason to change just for the sake of changing, you know?
01:28I suppose that's a masculine attitude.
01:30Personally, I like things a little different once in a while.
01:33Gives you a fresh outlook.
01:35I don't know. Maybe I'm just in a reckless mood today.
01:37I've even been thinking about having my hair cut.
01:40How do you think I'd look with one of the new shorter cuts?
01:43Well, I wouldn't want you to get a crew cut.
01:47Well, don't be silly. I wouldn't get a crew cut.
01:50At least until the middle of summer.
01:53I'm surprised you haven't noticed, though, dear.
01:54Most of the girls are wearing their hair with a shorter hairdo.
01:57You know, it's a funny thing about women.
01:59Practically all men like women with their hair long and their skirts short.
02:04And look what happens.
02:06Reverse psychology.
02:07Women do the opposite to get things they want.
02:10Look at the attention women have had in the past two years.
02:12Well, okay.
02:13I mean, if you like people staring at you as you walk down the street.
02:17Not especially.
02:18It's the reason they lengthen their skirts.
02:21But what about your hair?
02:23I mean, you couldn't wait till it grew back in,
02:25and now you want to chop it all off again.
02:27Evidently, you don't want me to.
02:30Well, I don't care.
02:32It's your head.
02:35Funny thing, I noticed that when I was brushing my teeth this morning.
02:40Well, no, Harry, but you asked me how I like your hair,
02:43and frankly, I don't care.
02:45I mean, you cut it any way you want.
02:47As I say, it's your head.
02:50Oh, I already said that, didn't I?
02:53It's funny how men get set in their ways.
02:55It seems to be a masculine trait to resist change of any sort.
02:59For instance, you like my hair this way,
03:02so you don't want me to cut it any shorter.
03:04You like boiled eggs?
03:05Fried won't do.
03:06Well, it isn't a question of men being set in their ways.
03:09At least I'm not.
03:11I happen to like my head boiled.
03:14I like my eggs boiled.
03:16I've liked them that way for years.
03:18Just because I like the same thing year after year doesn't mean I'm set in my ways.
03:22What does it mean?
03:23It means I'm stubborn.
03:26I mean, it means that I'm a fellow of average, normal tastes.
03:31I mean, lots of people like extraordinary things.
03:34They like unusual things.
03:36Well, I happen to be conservative,
03:38and I like things just sort of average.
03:41What are you getting excited about?
03:43No, I mean, I'm sorry I'm not getting excited.
03:45It's just that I'm an average type of guy who likes things average.
03:50That's all a man of average tastes.
04:06Do we have any more sugar, Danny?
04:15Hi, Oz.
04:16Oh, hiya, Tony.
04:18Oh, don't touch the wet paint.
04:20I won't.
04:25Didn't you just paint this fence last fall?
04:27Well, this is Catherine's idea.
04:30She had me paint it white before because she expected a lot of snow during the winter.
04:33Now she wants it green to match the lawn.
04:38Women get some crazy ideas, don't they?
04:40Yeah, you never know what they're going to think of next.
04:43So darn changeable.
04:45They're never satisfied to leave things go the way they are.
04:48I think that's feminine nature, Oz.
04:50Yeah.
04:53Let me ask you this.
04:55How do you like your eggs cooked?
04:57Sunny side up.
04:59We going to eat right here in the yard?
05:01Oh, no.
05:02I'm just thinking of something.
05:04For years, I've been enjoying a couple of medium boiled eggs for breakfast every morning.
05:09Been enjoying them for years.
05:11All of a sudden, this morning, without a word of warning, I get fried eggs.
05:16Well, I hope you didn't take it sitting down, Oz.
05:19If I were you, I'd object plenty.
05:21Why don't you put an ad in the paper?
05:23I will not be responsible for any eggs fried by my wife.
05:27No, it's not only the eggs, Thorny.
05:29It's the whole idea.
05:31What would you say if your wife suddenly walked up to you and said,
05:36I want to get my hair cut right now.
05:38Would you object?
05:39Well, I certainly would.
05:40Put my foot right down.
05:42Absolutely, because you like her hair the way it is.
05:45Nice and long.
05:46Well, not necessarily long, Oz.
05:48I just want her to have hair.
05:49She just had it cut yesterday.
05:52Just because I like Harriet's hair the way it is, because I like my eggs boiled,
05:57right away, I'm setting my ways.
06:00Does that mean that I'm setting my ways?
06:03Am I an old fuddy-duddy?
06:05Am I a stick in the mud?
06:06Am I narrow-minded?
06:07The answer is no.
06:09Oz, if you ask me a question, let me answer it.
06:12Do you feel that you're setting your ways, Thorny?
06:14Well, not necessarily.
06:16Of course not.
06:17But women don't see it that way.
06:20Because a guy enjoys boiled eggs in the morning, they want to change him.
06:23Switch to fried eggs.
06:24Does that make any sense?
06:25No.
06:26Well, there you go answering again.
06:28We go both the same night every week.
06:30Does that mean that we're...
06:31No.
06:32...setting our ways?
06:33No.
06:34I'll beat you that time.
06:36I'm on my way down to the drugstore right now.
06:38I'm going to buy two quarts of ice cream, a quart of chocolate, and a quart of vanilla,
06:43because I happen to like vanilla and chocolate.
06:46But does that mean that I've set my ways?
06:48Of course it doesn't, Thorny.
06:50You know, Oz, I think I'll walk down to the drugstore with you.
06:52I think the new Esquire magazine is in.
06:54There you are.
06:55You always walk down to the drugstore with me around the end of the week,
06:58because that's when Esquire magazine comes in.
07:01Doesn't mean you're setting your ways.
07:03As a matter of fact, you don't have to buy Esquire.
07:06You could buy the Housewives Gazette.
07:09Yeah, if I were a housewife.
07:11No, I mean if you really wanted to, you could buy the Housewives Gazette instead of Esquire,
07:17because you aren't set in your ways.
07:20Oz, I like Esquire.
07:23Yes, I know, but you could buy the Housewives Gazette instead, though.
07:26That's the point I'm trying to make.
07:28Oz, I just changed my mind.
07:30I don't think I'll walk down to the drugstore with you today.
07:32Why not?
07:34I have a feeling I'd come home with a Housewives Gazette.
07:38Mary Dunkle
07:43Hello?
07:44Oh, hello, Harriet.
07:45It's Mary Dunkle.
07:47Oh, hello, Mary. How's your cold?
07:49Oh, I'm nearly back to normal.
07:51The doctor gave me a shot of a wonderful serum yesterday.
07:54Fixed me up overnight.
07:55Oh, that's fine.
07:56Of course, I still cough a little and sneeze a little and wheeze a little.
08:00I thought you were all fixed up.
08:02Well, the hives are gone.
08:04Hives?
08:05Yeah, the hives from the first shot.
08:07Oh, you had two shots?
08:09Well, yes. You see, one for my cold.
08:12But my system had a negative reaction, so I broke out in hives.
08:16Then he gave me a second shot for the hives.
08:18What did he do for your cold?
08:20Well, I'm going over to see him in a few minutes.
08:23Of course, he's working under a handicap.
08:25He's sick in bed with a cold himself.
08:28How are Ozzie and the boys?
08:30Fine, thanks.
08:31Oh, I almost forgot.
08:33Remember you told me you were looking for a rug?
08:35Well, listen to this.
08:36On the way downtown this morning,
08:38I saw the most beautiful brown rug in the Emporium window.
08:41Just perfect for your living room.
08:43I'm way ahead of you, Mary.
08:45You've seen it?
08:46Yesterday.
08:47In fact, I'm having it delivered tonight while Ozzie's at the bowling alley.
08:51You're gonna surprise him, huh?
08:53In a way, yes.
08:55You know how men resist any changes around the house?
08:57Well, I figure if he walks in and there it is in familiar surroundings,
09:00he's much more apt to like it.
09:02Just like Herb.
09:04I remember I wanted new kitchen linoleum once,
09:07so I had the man put it down, had it all waxed before Herb came home.
09:11Did he like it?
09:12Well, I think he would have if he hadn't broken his arm
09:15when he walked in and slipped on it.
09:18But I think you're doing the smart thing, Harriet.
09:20I hope so.
09:21I figure it's worth trying anyway.
09:24Let me know how it turns out, huh?
09:26Okay, Mary.
09:27Goodbye.
09:28Goodbye.
09:38Yoo-hoo, Mr. Nelson!
09:40Oh, hi, Annie Lou.
09:41I just had to stop you, Mr. Nelson.
09:43Be sure and go down to the Bijou this week.
09:45They have a picture there that is simply terrific.
09:48Oh, oh, fine.
09:49I'll get out and see it.
09:50Oh, it's so good.
09:51It's the return engagement of a re-release of a remake
09:54by special request of the manager.
09:57Hey, that sounds pretty interesting.
10:00What's the name of it?
10:01Farley Granger.
10:03Oh, yes, yes.
10:04That's a nice name for a picture.
10:06Oh, it's such a wonderful movie, Mr. Nelson.
10:08Somebody ought to make a book out of it.
10:10It's about a man.
10:11A man who is completely irresponsible.
10:14Oh, I just adore irresponsible men.
10:20And the woman in the picture, she was irresponsible too.
10:23Oh, an irresponsible woman?
10:25Eee!
10:28What carefree lovers they were.
10:30They kissed on the street.
10:31They kissed on the bus.
10:32They kissed in crowded railroad stations.
10:34They wanted people to see them kissing.
10:36Even when the hero took the heroine home,
10:38he'd strike a match so people could see him kissing goodnight.
10:43Well, that's very interesting, Annie Lou.
10:45I think I'd better get down to the drugstore.
10:47Oh, he was so romantic.
10:49So unpredictable.
10:50Toward the end of the picture, he held the girl in his arms
10:52and everyone in the theater thought they were going to get married.
10:55But they didn't.
10:56He didn't even kiss her.
10:58Well, maybe he ran out of matches.
11:02You should have seen him.
11:03He wouldn't work.
11:04He was undependable.
11:05He was fickle.
11:06He had bad habits.
11:07He beat her.
11:08He was irresponsible.
11:09He didn't earn a living.
11:10He borrowed money from her.
11:11He stole.
11:12He lied.
11:13He gambled.
11:14Gee, he was cute.
11:16Now, now, wait a minute.
11:17Do you mean to say women actually like a man of that type?
11:21Well, of course they do.
11:23What fun is a man who does exactly the same thing every day?
11:26What fun is it when you know exactly when your husband is coming home?
11:30Oh, that reminds me.
11:31I'm, I'm late now, Annie.
11:33It takes all the joy out of life to be married to a dull, stodgy, conservative husband.
11:38Women like thrills, excitement.
11:40They like a man who's impetuous, gay, devil may care.
11:45Watch your language, Annie Lou.
11:47They like a wild life with an exciting man.
11:50A man who does fantastically imaginative, unpredictable things.
11:54I imagine you were like that when you were young, weren't you, Mr. Nelson?
11:58Oh, what do you mean when I was young, Annie Lou?
12:02Golly, I'm not so predictable.
12:04I'm not set in my ways.
12:05Nobody knows what I'm going to do next.
12:09Let's necktie, for instance.
12:11See those ends?
12:12One much longer than the other.
12:15How exciting.
12:17Well, I don't want to keep you, Mr. Nelson.
12:19Where did you say you were going?
12:20Down the drugstore to get a couple of quarts of ice cream.
12:23Oh, yes, a quart of chocolate and a quart of vanilla.
12:27That's where you're wrong.
12:29I'm going to get three quarts of tootie fruity.
12:34Oh, Mr. Nelson, you're so unpredictable.
12:45The average husband is a pretty predictable fellow.
12:49He comes down to breakfast at the same time every morning,
12:52drinks his orange juice,
12:54picks up the morning paper,
12:56eats a couple of eggs,
13:13drinks his coffee,
13:14and hurries out the front door.
13:20He then remembers that he's forgotten to kiss his wife goodbye,
13:24hurries back into the house,
13:26kisses her goodbye,
13:27and hurries out again.
13:32Ozzie Nelson, being a typical husband,
13:35has followed pretty close to the pattern up until now,
13:38but something tells me he's liable to become unpredictable any minute now.
13:42Uh, three quarts of tootie fruity.
13:50Oh, Dave, have you seen your father?
13:52No, I haven't, Mom.
13:53I wonder what's keeping him.
13:55Oh, Mr. Miller sometimes runs out of vanilla.
13:57Maybe Pop had to go to a different drugstore.
13:59Well, he should be back by now.
14:01He's always home at 6 o'clock.
14:03You don't suppose Pop had an accident?
14:05Oh, don't be silly, Ricky.
14:06Pop wouldn't have an accident on his bowling night.
14:09Well, he'd better hurry up.
14:10I've got the road set for 6.30.
14:12Oh, you know Pop.
14:13He's never late for dinner.
14:14Did you tell him about the rug?
14:16No, I didn't.
14:17Did you tell him about the rug?
14:18No, I haven't.
14:19And don't you either.
14:20I want to surprise him.
14:21The man's coming from the store to put the rug down
14:23while your father's bowling tonight.
14:25So don't you tell him now.
14:26Spoil the surprise.
14:27Hey, that's pretty good.
14:28How'd you think of that, Mom?
14:30Well, I don't mess around, boy.
14:33Ozzie?
14:34Hi, everybody.
14:35Oh, there you are.
14:37I was beginning to get worried about you.
14:39Oh, well, first of all, I decided not to take the car.
14:42I decided to walk down there.
14:44And it turned out to be such a beautiful, balmy evening.
14:47You know how unpredictable I am.
14:50Well, I decided to walk home the long way.
14:53So I went all the way down to Brinkerhoff Street.
14:56And then I strolled over by Mount Vernon Street.
14:59Then I came around there by the park.
15:01And then I turned down Maple and went back to the drugstore.
15:05Well, why'd you go back to the drugstore?
15:07The ice cream had melted.
15:11What kind of ice cream is this, Pop?
15:13Oh, that's Tootie Fruity.
15:15What's Tootie Fruity?
15:17Well, it's ice cream with pieces of fruity in it
15:21and a lot of little chunks of tootie all...
15:27I'm not sure whether I'm going to like Tootie Fruity.
15:29Well, you'd better like it.
15:31If you don't eat your Tootie Fruity ice cream,
15:32you won't get any dessert for dinner.
15:36Doesn't sound right.
15:37Howard, if the boys don't eat their dessert,
15:39what don't they get?
15:40They don't get any carrots.
15:43Oh, that sounds much better, huh, Dave?
15:45I'll say.
15:47Sit down here. I'll bring you a glass of tomato juice.
15:49Oh, I don't think I'll have any tomato juice tonight, Harriet.
15:52I think I'll have a glass of champagne instead.
15:55Champagne?
15:56Yeah, don't you remember I bought us a bottle of champagne
15:58for our anniversary?
15:59Oh, well, we used that six months ago.
16:01Don't you remember the Dunkels and the Thornberrys
16:02came over and helped us celebrate?
16:04Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.
16:06I'll bring you a glass of ginger ale.
16:07The bubbles go up your nose the same way.
16:09No, no, no, that's okay.
16:12I think I'll go upstairs and change my clothes.
16:14Well, you look fine to me.
16:16Well, yes, but you just mentioned the Randolphs
16:19and it reminded me of that wonderful time
16:21we had up there at New Year's Eve party.
16:23Remember, we were dressed formally
16:24and I had on my tuxedo?
16:26I thought I'd put it on again now
16:28and sort of relive it up a little.
16:31I'm sorry to be so unpredictable.
16:33You just never know what I'm gonna do next, do you?
16:35Oh, yes, I do.
16:36You're gonna hurry up because dinner's almost ready.
16:37Okay, I'll be right back.
16:39Sure is nice of you to put up with these
16:41crazy, changeable moods of mine.
16:43In fact, you know what I think I'll do
16:45right after I wash my hands?
16:46Can't imagine.
16:47I'm gonna dry them on hers.
16:52I wonder what's come over Pop.
16:54Crazy, mixed up kid.
17:09Gee, I wonder what's keeping Pop, huh?
17:11Oh, he's getting dressed for dinner.
17:13You mean he's getting dressed up?
17:14Mm-hmm, that's right.
17:15How come?
17:16Oh, I don't know.
17:17He had such a nice time at the party last New Year's Eve
17:19that he wants to wear his tuxedo again.
17:21I think it's a nice idea.
17:23He's gonna look pretty crazy down at the bowling alley, boy.
17:26Oh, I'm sure he'll change before he goes bowling.
17:29Oh, you boys go ahead and start eating.
17:31Harriet?
17:33Come on, dear, dinner's all ready.
17:36Harriet, have you seen my cufflinks anyplace?
17:40Look at this, where'd you get that outfit?
17:42Well, while I was upstairs changing my clothes,
17:44I suddenly remembered I'd had an even better time
17:46at the party Halloween.
17:48I hope you don't plan to sit down to dinner
17:50in those awful rags.
17:51Oh, what do you mean?
17:52This is a rather formal outfit, Harriet.
17:55I'm wearing a necktie.
18:00How do you like it?
18:01That's a pretty crazy outfit, Pop.
18:03Yeah, this is my casual outfit.
18:05It's very nice for lounging around the freight yards.
18:10You just don't know what I'm gonna do next, do you, Harriet?
18:13No, but I know what you're not going to do next.
18:15You're not going to sit down to dinner in those awful clothes.
18:18Oh, Harriet.
18:19You heard me, hit the road, Bo.
18:22Fine thing when a man can't even be unpredictable in his own home.
18:34Oh, Harriet, have you seen my banjo anyplace?
18:38Your banjo? I didn't even know you had one.
18:40Oh, yes, I have an old banjo around here.
18:43I thought I might strum a few tunes this evening.
18:46Does that sound like fun?
18:47Aren't you going bowling tonight?
18:49Oh, no, I don't think I'll go.
18:52Well, you've got to go bowling tonight.
18:54Why?
18:56Well, it's because it's your bowling night.
18:59Well, I...
19:00Oh, but suppose it is my bowling night.
19:02You know me, I'm so moody and unpredictable.
19:05Oh, look, you wouldn't want to disappoint, Thorny.
19:07Now, look, I've got all your bowling things right down here.
19:09You don't even have to go upstairs.
19:10Well, Harriet...
19:11Now, go ahead.
19:16Darn family's getting unpredictable.
19:18Hey, Oz.
19:19Oh, hi, Thorny.
19:20Hey, what happened? I thought you were going to stop by for me.
19:22Oh, well, I'm a little late.
19:24So what? The guys can wait.
19:25Well, come on. I told them we'd be there at 8 o'clock.
19:28Oh, garnet.
19:29What's the matter?
19:30I'll be right back. I left my bowling shoes in the house.
19:35Whoa.
19:36That's the first time I've ever seen a pair of shoes that follow you out a door.
19:40What's going on around here lately?
19:42Oh, come on. Let's go, Oz.
19:43Gee, Oz, Oz.
19:45Do you know that guy?
19:47What guy?
19:48Well, the guy that's coming toward us with a body over his shoulder.
19:50Oh, yeah.
19:52Oh, excuse me, gentlemen. Could you...
19:54Aren't you Thornberry?
19:56Well, yeah, but I don't know you...
19:57Don't you remember me?
19:58Mulligan.
20:00I was the other endman at the Elks Menstrual Show.
20:02Oh, what do you know?
20:04Sure, of course.
20:05How are you?
20:06Fine.
20:07This is Mr. Nelson.
20:08Oh, yeah, I remember you.
20:09You were the ringmaster in the big circus number, too.
20:11Yeah, that's right.
20:12You were practically the head of the show.
20:14Oh, go on. It wasn't much.
20:16What are you doing in this thick of the woods?
20:18I came over to deliver this rug.
20:20Some woman had to have it put down tonight.
20:22Her husband's a bonehead. He don't like things changed around.
20:25What's the name on it?
20:27Name's Nelson.
20:29Hey, do you happen to know Mr. Nelson?
20:31Nelson?
20:32Gee, we're the only Nelsons on this block.
20:34Oh, well, then you must be the...
20:37No offense for what I said, Mr. Nelson.
20:39I didn't know you were the bonehead.
20:43Hey, no wonder Harriet was so anxious to get me out of the house, Thorn.
20:46She practically pushed me out.
20:48Pulled the fashion on you, huh?
20:50Yeah, that's what she thinks.
20:52But I just thought of a terrific gag we could pull on her.
20:55Would you care to join us, Mr. Mulligan?
20:57Oh, thanks. I'd be glad to.
20:59You better make mine a short one, though. You know, during working hours.
21:01No, no, no, no, no. I mean in the gag.
21:04Listen to this, see?
21:06Harriet thinks she's gonna pull a real surprise.
21:08She bought the rug, and I didn't know anything about it.
21:11Now, you fellows have heard the old expression,
21:13snug as a bug in a rug, haven't you?
21:15Yeah.
21:16Here's my idea.
21:18You and Thorny carry the rug in, you see?
21:21And you unroll it on the living room floor.
21:27Becky, give me a hand with this.
21:29When's the man gonna get here with the rug, Mom?
21:31Oh, any minute now.
21:32I'm glad he didn't get here any earlier.
21:34I had a tough time getting your father out of the house.
21:36Here, put that in the dining room.
21:37I want the floor as clear as possible in here.
21:39What do you want this chair, Mom?
21:40Oh, put that in the dining room, too.
21:42Gee, the dining room's beginning to look like the living room.
21:45Er, the attic.
21:47What do you think you are, Atlantic City?
21:49Come on, boy. Chop, chop.
21:53Just a minute.
21:57Oh, hello, Mr. Mulligan.
21:59Yes, bring the rug right in here.
22:02Well, Thorny, what are you doing?
22:04Well, I met Mulligan outside and thought I'd give him a hand with this rug.
22:07It was pretty heavy sometimes.
22:08Oh, I'm sorry about making you deliver it tonight, Mr. Mulligan.
22:11That's all right. I wasn't doing anything in particular.
22:13Just eating dinner.
22:16What makes the rug so lumpy?
22:18Oh, that.
22:19Oh, well, you see, well, when they...
22:23What does make the rug so lumpy, Mr. Thornberry?
22:25Well, mothballs.
22:28That's right. It happens all the time.
22:30If you'll just tell us where you want it now, Mrs. Nelson, we'll unroll it for you.
22:34Oh, no, Mr. Mulligan, don't unroll it.
22:36Just stand it over there in the corner.
22:37Well, I can't stand it in the corner.
22:39I don't remember which end is ahead.
22:40I mean, which end's up.
22:42I know, but Thorny, if Ozzie doesn't like it,
22:44Mr. Mulligan would just have to come back again in the morning and roll it up.
22:47No, just throw it over there in the corner until I find out how Ozzie likes it.
22:50Believe me, Harriet, he's gonna like it a lot better unrolled.
22:53But he's such an unpredictable person, he may not even want a new rug.
22:56Oh, let him unroll it, Mom.
22:58Yeah, come on, Mom. We want to see it.
23:00Well, all right. Unroll it.
23:02Okay, Mulligan. Let's go.
23:05Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I gotta make my speech.
23:08And now, ladies and gentlemen, the wonder of the ages.
23:11You are about to witness the only time in history that a man,
23:15old sober, mind you, has been rolled in his own living room.
23:19Come on, Thorny. Let's go.
23:21Behold.
23:26Surprise.
23:28How unpredictable.
23:30Boo!
23:45.