Gasbags

Film Gorillas

7/10/2020

Transcript

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01:00:47Welcome to the Siegfried Line.

01:00:56The Siegfried Line?

01:00:57There must be some mistake. We saw that last week.

01:01:00Did it say anything about the Siegfried Line on your back?

01:01:02Well, I can't see me back, can I?

01:01:12I need you to do something. Get us out of here.

01:01:14Me? I'm done by mid-evening. You're asking?

01:01:16Well, what about Colonel Blimp?

01:01:17Oh, I've been purged.

01:01:24It's all arranged, mein Führer, for you to inspect the section of the line.

01:01:27The men are waiting to welcome you, mein Führer.

01:01:30Oh, dear! Where are we going?

01:01:34Going down? Hardware? Underwear? Anywhere?

01:01:36We have six galleries like this, mein Führer.

01:01:38Oh, how clever of you. We really haven't time to see them all.

01:01:40We've got to get back to lunch.

01:01:41Yes. Thanks ever so much for having us.

01:01:43But, mein Führer...

01:01:44The next gallery is all prepared for your inspection.

01:01:46Oh.

01:01:49What do you think, Herman?

01:01:50All right. One gallery, guns before butter.

01:01:58The Führer is here?

01:01:59Yes, sir. He's below with the General, inspecting the line.

01:02:02So, you will inform the General? It is imperative I see him at once.

01:02:05Very good, sir.

01:02:14This is the main communication gallery, mein Führer.

01:02:16It's there for...

01:02:17Kuh, look one of those things you see on the pier.

01:02:19You'll know what the butler saw.

01:02:20Yes, I will.

01:02:21Wait a minute. I saw it first.

01:02:22Anything good?

01:02:24You care to look, mein Führer?

01:02:25No, no, danke schoen. We really must be ausgehen.

01:02:28Kuh, you can see for miles.

01:02:36Blimey, we have got to ausgehen.

01:02:43What is it?

01:02:44An officer from the Gestapo is here.

01:02:45He says it's imperative that he should see you.

01:02:48The Gestapo?

01:02:49Yes, they're all upstairs.

01:02:50Oh, dear.

01:02:51Oh, I can see it now, poor old Charlie.

01:02:53With the bullet in the trousers and my name spelt wrong on the paper.

01:02:56Tell him that I have accompanied the Führer. He'll have to wait.

01:02:58But the General must stop with us, mustn't he?

01:02:59Yes. I mean, no.

01:03:00You can't keep my Gestapo waiting.

01:03:01Certainly not.

01:03:02We'll be all right.

01:03:03But, mein Führer...

01:03:04The Führer has spoken. Now run along.

01:03:05But, Führer...

01:03:06Act still.

01:03:14Come on, General.

01:03:22Kuh, that's a bright light.

01:03:23Shut up, sis. There's the sun.

01:03:24Well, we've given them the slip anyway.

01:03:26Yes. There's only one thing between us and freedom.

01:03:28What's that?

01:03:29The whole German army.

01:03:31Look.

01:03:33I know what they are.

01:03:34Snipers.

01:03:35Snipers, yes.

01:03:36You know, soldiers what snoop around as snipers.

01:03:38Shut up. They're coming this way.

01:04:03Here's a chance, boys.

01:04:04There's enough here for all of us.

01:04:05What an idea.

01:04:06We can get away disguised as Eppinboddy.

01:04:07Yes.

01:04:08Quick, in the...

01:04:09Oh, underneath the spreading chestnut tree,

01:04:12there's one for you and there's one for me.

01:04:16They must be in the line somewhere.

01:04:17See that every possible exit is guarded and the whole sector surrounded.

01:04:21I'll teach them to make a fool of me.

01:04:22They've done that already.

01:04:23Take me to that communication gallery.

01:04:26Jez, what sort of a tree am I?

01:04:28You're an oak.

01:04:29Oak. Oaky-doke.

01:04:31I'm an elm, I know that.

01:04:33Here.

01:04:34Do trees look farther than mothers?

01:04:35I don't know why.

01:04:36But you are my son of a beech.

01:04:37Oh, cool.

01:04:41Look out, a patrol.

01:04:44Cool. What do we do now?

01:04:45Stand perfectly still.

01:04:46I'm not going to move.

01:04:47I'm not going to move.

01:04:48I'm not going to move.

01:04:49I'm not going to move.

01:04:50I'm not going to move.

01:04:51I'm not going to move.

01:04:52I'm not going to move.

01:04:53I'm not going to move.

01:04:54Stand perfectly still.

01:05:19Go and defend the trees I have just marked.

01:05:22The rest of you, come on.

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01:07:49Oh, woodman, spare this tree.

01:07:51Go, it's empty.

01:08:02Move!

01:08:03Leave it, here's the source.

01:08:04Hooray!

01:08:06Go with the blasted ox.

01:08:13What are you doing?

01:08:14I told you to spare some stumps.

01:08:15They weren't stumps, they were men.

01:08:17Seven of them.

01:08:18They thanked me.

01:08:19Seven men?

01:08:48It's Cecil, the snow goat.

01:08:55Quick.

01:08:57Well, now we're here, where's the burrowing mole?

01:08:59Aha, that's the secret.

01:09:00Maybe it's upstairs.

01:09:01How can it be upstairs?

01:09:02Perhaps the cat took it.

01:09:03Why, he's under the sun's drafting.

01:09:05Well, perhaps he's downstairs.

01:09:06Well, there must be a way down somewhere.

01:09:10What happened?

01:09:11I found the way down.

01:09:13Well, ain't there any stairs?

01:09:14Well, come on then, stand up.

01:09:15I wouldn't do it.

01:09:16I'll never do it.

01:09:25Oh, look.

01:09:26Oh, isn't it posh?

01:09:27I wonder if it's dropped at Leicester Square.

01:09:29Oh, wouldn't it look lovely with Friday night written on the side?

01:09:31I bet it's got HMC and a vacuum cleaner.

01:09:33Let's find out.

01:09:41Isn't it big?

01:09:43A bit undecorated.

01:09:47I know what it is.

01:09:48It must be magnetic.

01:09:51Look.

01:09:52It's got me cutlass.

01:10:05We'll see what's in here.

01:10:08What's it done?

01:10:09Like a door, doesn't it?

01:10:10Mind the doors, please.

01:10:13It works.

01:10:15Switch it on again.

01:10:16Go on.

01:10:22Hear that?

01:10:26Shh.

01:10:27Quiet.

01:10:28Hear.

01:10:29We'll chuck the glass in the moulds.

01:10:30Switch.

01:10:31How's it work?

01:10:32I don't know.

01:10:33Bad.

01:10:34Pull some of these levers.

01:10:35Which one of them?

01:10:36Pull the latch.

01:10:37Stop.

01:10:39Stop.

01:10:40What's that?

01:10:41My electric thing's starting.

01:10:46Blimey, what a fierce clutch.

01:10:48Never mind, we're going.

01:10:49Yes, but where to?

01:10:50I don't know.

01:10:51I'm a stranger myself.

01:10:52Well, we're digging for victory.

01:10:53I wonder where we're heading for.

01:10:54In you know, to the fish store.

01:10:55Well, you ain't heading for England.

01:10:57You're heading for Russia.

01:10:58Well, we don't want to go there.

01:10:59They've got a lot of better lighters.

01:11:00Then we've got to do an about-turn.

01:11:02Well, pull everything.

01:11:03Whoa!

01:11:04Whoa!

01:11:09Oh, there he is.

01:11:10He's coming his way.

01:11:15My men at the truss now.

01:11:16They have them cornered.

01:11:19That's funny.

01:11:20I could have sworn I saw Colonel Blimp.

01:11:24This is the BBC Home Service.

01:11:26Here is a special announcement.

01:11:28A report has just been received of amazing happenings

01:11:30in the Siegfried Line.

01:11:31Something in the nature of an earthquake

01:11:33would appear to have caused panic and wholesale damage.

01:11:36The latest information is that the disturbance

01:11:38is following a definite course towards northern France.

01:11:42It's getting a bit damp, isn't it?

01:11:44Let's just land it outside.

01:11:46Well, push me off, Lord.

01:11:48Fishies.

01:11:49Charles, if my memory serves me right, that's Hank.

01:11:52Where have we got to?

01:11:53You think we're in the right aquarium?

01:11:55This isn't the aquarium.

01:11:56It's the sea.

01:12:07Here's yet another report.

01:12:08From a south coast resort comes the news

01:12:10that lampposts and pillar boxes along the main street

01:12:12are sinking into the ground one by one.

01:12:14At the moment, there is...

01:12:20Whoa!

01:12:21That's the underground.

01:12:22Boys, we must be in London.

01:12:24London?

01:12:25Surfaces, Buck, surfaces.

01:12:26What do we do?

01:12:27Pull everything?

01:12:28We've done that.

01:12:29Push everything.

01:12:37Whoa!

01:12:49Blimey, it's you lot!

01:12:50Aye, aye, taxi.

01:12:51Holt!

01:12:52Where have you been all this time?

01:12:53You'll never guess, Sergeant.

01:12:54Never mind the guessing.

01:12:55Where's that balloon?

01:12:56Oh, never mind the balloon.

01:12:57You'll never believe what's happened to us.

01:12:59Neither will you when I'm finished with you.

01:13:01Neither will you when I'm finished with you.

01:13:06What's all this?

01:13:07Absentees have returned, sir, without kit and balloon.

01:13:09So, you've come back, have you?

01:13:11Oh, don't be cross, sir. You'll be awfully pleased in a minute.

01:13:13Silence you, you're all under arrest.

01:13:14You can't do that to us. We're heroes.

01:13:16Who's this?

01:13:17Barnacle Bill.

01:13:18Yes, I am.

01:13:19Bring all these men in front of me in half an hour's time.

01:13:22What do you want to see us for? To give us our medals?

01:13:24No. 128 days' detention.

01:13:26Back to the engines.

01:13:28Yes.

01:13:31THE END

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