Dr. Bharat Sangani - Dealing With People Whom You Can't Divorce

so today we are going to talk about how
to deal with people whom you can't
divorce we may have 500 to 5,000 people
in our contact list on our cell phone on
our contact book if you are not close to
everybody
not everybody can affect us where it
will affect our happiness permanently so
this is this segment is totally devoted
to the people who can truly affect your
happiness permanently and if you really
look at that I believe that it falls
between 20 to 50 people at the most in
any single individuals life where these
people can truly affect your happiness
permanently the people who will be
included in this would be obviously
spouses children long-term friends
co-workers partners and certain other
extended family members so how do you
deal with them we all know that means
those circumstances we come back and say
I can never win this you know even
though we said that in desperation we
are probably very true let us accept the
fact that the people whom who has an
ability to make us permanently unhappy
we will just never win against them and
I call that these are the people you can
never divorce so how do we deal with
these people whom we can never divorce
relatively speaking is not that
difficult a task it's difficult to
understand and difficult to implement
initially but once you get used to it
then it becomes a part of life the first
and the foremost requirement of dealing
with people whom you can't divorce is
never said ultimatum that we are not
going to follow through this is the
the mistake most of us make let it be our
children let it be our partner if they
say if you don't do this or else I'll do
this and that's a complete elimination
of relationship that's an ultimatum
and I strongly advocate that giving
the ultimatum that we are not going to
follow-through or we're going to follow
through with a lot of pain is probably
not worth doing it so the best approach
is not to give ultimatum but present
your position and say here is what I
think we should be doing well here is I
think you should be doing and then let
nature take its course
versus saying if you don't do this I'm
going to completely severe the
relationship
the second important rule of dealing
with people whom you can't divorce is
set the boundaries lot of times we have
seen that in very close relationships we
really don't tell each other what is
expected out of each other or what is
each other duty is and it's very very
important that we define our duties in
those kinds of relationships if you can
do it in writing that's even better
but if not verbally fine but if we do it
verbally your writing
it needs to be regularly followed up so
there is no misunderstanding on both
sides at any time and once here those
boundaries set I promise you there are
many instances we will avoid fights
unhappiness because both parties will
constantly know what each other will do
for each other.