so today we are going to talk about how to deal with people whom you can't divorce we may have 500 to 5,000 people in our contact list on our cell phone on our contact book if you are not close to everybody not everybody can affect us where it will affect our happiness permanently so this is this segment is totally devoted to the people who can truly affect your happiness permanently and if you really look at that I believe that it falls between 20 to 50 people at the most in any single individuals life where these people can truly affect your happiness permanently the people who will be included in this would be obviously spouses children long-term friends co-workers partners and certain other extended family members so how do you deal with them we all know that means those circumstances we come back and say I can never win this you know even though we said that in desperation we are probably very true let us accept the fact that the people whom who has an ability to make us permanently unhappy we will just never win against them and I call that these are the people you can never divorce so how do we deal with these people whom we can never divorce relatively speaking is not that difficult a task it's difficult to understand and difficult to implement initially but once you get used to it then it becomes a part of life the first and the foremost requirement of dealing with people whom you can't divorce is never said ultimatum that we are not going to follow through this is the the mistake most of us make let it be our children let it be our partner if they say if you don't do this or else I'll do this and that's a complete elimination of relationship that's an ultimatum and I strongly advocate that giving the ultimatum that we are not going to follow-through or we're going to follow through with a lot of pain is probably not worth doing it so the best approach is not to give ultimatum but present your position and say here is what I think we should be doing well here is I think you should be doing and then let nature take its course versus saying if you don't do this I'm going to completely severe the relationship the second important rule of dealing with people whom you can't divorce is set the boundaries lot of times we have seen that in very close relationships we really don't tell each other what is expected out of each other or what is each other duty is and it's very very important that we define our duties in those kinds of relationships if you can do it in writing that's even better but if not verbally fine but if we do it verbally your writing it needs to be regularly followed up so there is no misunderstanding on both sides at any time and once here those boundaries set I promise you there are many instances we will avoid fights unhappiness because both parties will constantly know what each other will do for each other.
