Introducing the Brett Kavanaugh Calendar app

'MURICA — Are one of those people who is always forgetting or missing important dates or appointments?

Or are you someone who painstakingly plans your activities down on a calendar and then also retroactively goes back and amends said calendar to reflect actual events?

Well, as the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh continue to captivate the nation, lots of names have been dragged through the mud — but none can be more egregious than the sullying of meticulous calendar keepers.
What's wrong with a little — or a lot — of organization in your life? That's why developers at Tomo have developed an AI-enhanced, state-of-the-art Kavanaugh Calendar app.
Big party at so and so's next week? We got you covered. Is today arms or legs day at Planet Fitness? We got you covered. Did I whip out my junk last night? You should cover that up.
With the Kavanaugh Calendar app, you can plan out your sexual assaults months in advance or amend them on the fly. It's also great for victims too.
The app has just been released on Apple App Store and Google Play Store. Get yours today — and never miss anything again.