Learning to live with devastating grief - new book - video Dailymotion

SussexWorld

Horsham author Rachael Sadler explores the devastation of grief and the ways in which we might perhaps overcome it in an inspirational new book, Life after Lottie.

Transcript

00:00Okay. Good morning. My name is Phil Hewitt, Group Arts Editor at Sussex Newspapers. Really lovely

00:06this morning to speak to Rachel Sandler. Speaking to Rachel because you've written a truly

00:11inspirational book, an absolutely beautiful sounding book, Life After Lottie. Now it's a

00:17book about refinding joy and purpose after a really, really difficult moment. Explain what

00:24happened. Thank you, Phil. Well, I lost my dog, my beloved Lottie. Very suddenly, unexpectedly,

00:36I was abroad at the time and had to get back to the UK very quickly in order to be with

00:41her for her last moments. And I, it was unexpected and I sort of plummeted into a rather dark place

00:50losing her. I think the shock was overwhelming. And it wasn't what you anticipated, but you

00:57didn't anticipate, did you? Most definitely. I absolutely was, was sort of overwhelmed with

01:03grief. I, I really struggled to drag myself out every day, even just to go out. When I

01:10went out, I didn't want to come home because the house was so empty and it lost its soul

01:18almost, you know, when the dog, when you have a dog in the home or any pet, actually, there's

01:24always noise. They're always a welcome when you come in and that had suddenly gone.

01:32You felt yourself sparring in the downwards.

01:34I absolutely was. Yes. I was going down a very slippery slope very quickly. And I started

01:43to write down some of my memories of Lottie, some of my personal feelings and, and that

01:52I was going through it at the moment and found it helped. Somehow helped to, to understand

02:00or just to accept?

02:01Um, I think it helped to, instead of, instead of talking about the grief, I just felt writing

02:10it down was my way of expressing the pain in my heart. Yeah. And it just seemed to ease

02:17it very slowly. Um, may I say, but it did.

02:22But it also opened you up to the next chapter.

02:25Well, that's right. Because I think as I found a little tiny bit of hope that perhaps I was

02:32going into the next stage of grief, perhaps the, the sort of, you know, acceptance coming

02:37out of the depression, I found myself heading off to Thailand to, uh, work, volunteer at the

02:44Soy Dog Foundation.

02:45And I poured, I went alone and didn't know anybody before I went. And I got there and

02:55it really was almost instantly quite the most overwhelming, uplifting experience.

03:00You said that so beautifully just now, that it hit you as instantly as the grief did.

03:06Actually, it hit you with happiness.

03:08Almost on day one, I arrived at the sanctuary, um, in Phuket. I could hear the dogs barking

03:171500 of them there. And, um, the welcome that us volunteers receive from the staff at the

03:26foundation was just tremendous. And there's a briefing and everybody then gets allocated a run

03:33to walk with dogs. And these dogs are seriously abused, traumatized, tormented dogs. So the love

03:45they have for us who go to, to walk them, spend time with them, cuddle them and love them, it's just

03:53so deep and overwhelming. And they've got the most incredible zest for life because of, you know,

03:59they, they're, they're almost, they're grateful to be alive. You know, it's quite amazing.

04:02And what a brave thing that you did. It's so interesting, isn't it? That it wasn't enough

04:08to just stay where you were. You had to physically uproot yourself, go somewhere else and move yourself

04:14on.

04:14Yeah, I had to move away and I was, you know, lucky to be able to do that. I'm pretty much retired.

04:20So I was able to, um, escape for a few weeks and, um, just, I didn't know what I was going

04:30to expect when I got there and I didn't know if it would help, but I knew I had to do something.

04:35And that's the essence of the book.

04:37It is. Yeah, absolutely. It's that, um, that journey from sort of covering 10 years,

04:43actually from sort of Lottie is a little tiny wee puppy right through to the post Lottie period.

04:49When I then went off to the Soy Dog Foundation.

04:52Well, it sounds a beautiful book. How do people buy it? Where do people find it?

04:56So at the moment I self-published and at the moment it is just available from me directly.

05:02The main reason being that all of the profits go to the Soy Dog Foundation and, uh, the book

05:08costs 14 pounds. The maximum, um, way of allowing profit to go to the foundation is for me to sell

05:16it directly. I have a book launch event in Horsham on the 4th of September. And after that,

05:23it will then become available more widely through the bookstores, but they do take quite a significant

05:29portion of commission. Um, they're running business. So, um, I would like to maximize the,

05:36the direct sales if I can at this stage.

05:39Brilliant. Well, congratulations on the book.

05:42That's utterly inspirational and really perfect to speak to you. Thank you.

05:45Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you very much too.

Learning to live with devastating grief - new book

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