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  • 2 days ago
Holiday Engagement
Transcript
00:00Us, Hillary.
00:02I don't think we're gonna work.
00:04What?
00:06Look, I need a partner in life.
00:09A wife who's going to go where I need to go and do what I need to do and be excited about my accomplishments.
00:14I can't get dragged down by somebody who's out saving dogs and cats.
00:17God knows what else.
00:19Jason, is this about moving to Pittsburgh? I'll move to Pittsburgh.
00:26A new VP position opened up in our Pittsburgh office, and I guarantee I am the top pick for this position.
00:32We have a life here.
00:34What am I gonna do with Pittsburgh?
00:38Look, I just, I have to stay focused and mobile to advance in my career.
00:42I gotta keep my priorities straight.
00:44Believe me, this is one of those tough decisions, but it's for the best.
00:48For both of us. I just, I can't make a mistake.
00:51Not now.
00:56What did I become a mistake?
01:03Just...
01:05I have to get this. Just, just, just...
01:07Go for change.
01:10No, no, no, that is exactly how you...
01:14He's a jerk. I knew he was too good to be true.
01:17Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I let him keep one foot out the door.
01:20Alright, it's time to pick the winner for this week's KJWM Weekly Holiday Vacation Giveaway.
01:25And the lucky winner is...
01:27Hillary Burns!
01:28Oh my God, you won!
01:29We are finally in the running for a trip to Mexico. It could be our honeymoon!
01:34What?
01:35All of my sisters found perfect men, and I can't even get one in the door.
01:41Is that it?
01:42Is that what would make you happy right now, to bring home a man for Thanksgiving?
01:46I just can't go home all alone. I just can't face it. I can't do it. Not now.
01:50Okay. Look, all you have to do, just post this with a flirty little intro video of your pretty face, and voila.
01:58All you have to do is click.
02:00I'll help you do the video.
02:02You really think it's a good idea to bring a stranger home, or possibly a psycho to my parents' house for Thanksgiving?
02:09Hillary, I just wanted you to know I planned a small family gathering at the house for when you and Jason arrive.
02:17Do it.
02:18What?
02:19Of course, if he preferred white.
02:22Hi.
02:23Hi.
02:24Hi.
02:25Hi. My name is Hillary.
02:27I need to hire a fake fiancé to bring home to my family for Thanksgiving.
02:32In return, you will receive two free first class tickets to Playa del Carmen, Mexico.
02:37So just record a quick video intro, post it to this page, and we'll get back to you.
02:46Whoa!
02:47What? Who is it? Come in.
02:48I can't believe it.
02:49Look at all of these.
02:50All right.
02:51Mexico has got some sweetest waves, man.
02:52I mean, after the weekend's over here, we can just serve, sun, serve, eat, serve, and then serve some more.
02:54I do have irritable bowel syndrome.
02:55I really need to get to Mexico.
02:59Oh.
03:00Oh.
03:01Oh.
03:02Oh.
03:03Oh.
03:04Oh.
03:05Oh.
03:06Oh.
03:07Oh.
03:08Oh.
03:09Oh.
03:10Oh.
03:11Oh.
03:12Oh.
03:13Oh.
03:14Oh.
03:15Oh.
03:16Oh.
03:17Oh.
03:18Oh.
03:19Oh.
03:20Oh.
03:21Oh.
03:22Oh.
03:23Oh.
03:24Oh.
03:25Oh.
03:26Oh.
03:27Oh.
03:28Oh.
03:29Oh.
03:30Oh.
03:31Oh.
03:32Oh.
03:33Oh.
03:34Oh.
03:35Oh.
03:36Oh.
03:37Oh.
03:38Oh.
03:39Oh.
03:40Oh.
03:41Hello.
03:42Hi, is everything okay over there?
03:44Depending on what you mean by okay, everything's great.
03:47Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?
03:49Oh, okay.
03:50My name is David.
03:51I'm an actor.
03:52Hey, wait, I know you.
03:54Hey, wait, I know you.
03:56You're the cell phone guy in the costume.
04:00That's just sad.
04:01He's our first interview.
04:03Come on, let's go.
04:04Hi, excuse me.
04:06I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
04:09Hi, I said acting is my full-time job, and today I'm playing a large cell phone.
04:14Oh, crap.
04:15I knew it.
04:16Come on, we gotta go back to Seattle.
04:17That's right.
04:18And you're the reporter?
04:20Yeah.
04:21I was sorry to hear about the newspaper shutting down.
04:24Did you lose your job, or...?
04:25What do you think?
04:26Right, sorry.
04:28Obvious.
04:29For what it's worth, I got fired playing a big red cell phone, so...
04:34Oh, I'm sorry.
04:36Don't be.
04:37You should help me save my very last shred of dignity.
04:39I mean, if I can't book a job playing a fake fiance for a weekend, I should probably call
04:44it quits.
04:45Are you free to meet Hillary tomorrow, face to face?
04:48Sure thing.
04:49Hey.
04:50Okay, so, I Facebooked him, he hasn't responded, and when you Google him, the only thing that
04:57comes up are a few photos of him on Flickr with some chick named Lindsay on a beach.
05:02So, looks like he's not a psycho.
05:04He's just another out-of-work loser actor.
05:06You sound like my agent.
05:07Oh.
05:08Hi.
05:09Hi.
05:10Um, you two have fun.
05:12Great.
05:15Hi.
05:18So, I checked out?
05:20Yeah, seems like it.
05:21Do you think that Jason is more of a corporate lawyer type?
05:25Corporate.
05:26What kind of car do you drive?
05:27Uh, 98, Jeep Grand Cherokee, fully loaded.
05:30We'll take my car.
05:31Okay.
05:32Okay, I'm gonna friend you on Facebook, accept my request, click on all my family photo albums,
05:36memorize all the names, everybody's clearly marked.
05:38Okay, will do.
05:39Okay.
05:40Well, I guess I'll pick you up here, tomorrow, 8 a.m. sharp.
05:45Sounds good.
05:47Okay.
05:52Um.
05:56Sorry, I don't know what's going on here with the thing, the hair.
06:00I'll take care of it.
06:01Yeah?
06:02Okay, good.
06:03I guess I'm gonna buy your coffee.
06:20You clean up real good.
06:23You look nice yourself.
06:26And don't forget, my parents are very excited that you are a lawyer.
06:30About that, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to pull that off.
06:34You're an actor.
06:36Act.
06:41Okay, hit me with the family breakdown.
06:43Okay.
06:44Uh, Meredith.
06:45Mother, housewife extraordinaire.
06:47Roy, dad, councilman.
06:49Uh, your youngest sister is Trish.
06:51Joy.
06:52Right, right.
06:53Trish is the middle one.
06:54And, uh, her husband is Gil.
06:55And Joy's fiance's name is?
06:57Uh, John.
06:58Paul.
06:59Peter.
07:00You gotta get these straight.
07:01They're all gonna be at the party.
07:02Party?
07:03Yeah.
07:04It's no big deal.
07:05Just family.
07:06How long were you and Jason engaged?
07:07Uh, we dated for seven months.
07:08We were engaged for two.
07:10Wow.
07:11What happened?
07:14He's, uh, he's under a lot of pressure.
07:16Really stressed.
07:17He got this big job promotion offer in Pittsburgh.
07:19So.
07:20Oh, look.
07:21Here we are.
07:22Okay.
07:23Just remember, say as little as possible and follow my lead.
07:27Okay.
07:28Here we go.
07:29Here we go.
07:30Oh, honey, honey, honey.
07:31You're finally here.
07:32Oh, sweetie.
07:33Come here.
07:34Oh.
07:35Oh, honey, honey, honey.
07:36You're finally here.
07:37Oh, sweetie.
07:38Come here.
07:39Oh.
07:44You know you could wash that car every once in a while.
07:46What about Jason's Tesla?
07:48I wanted a ride in there.
07:49Oh, that was my fault.
07:50I wanted to save my mileage, so we took the Jetta instead.
07:54Oh, well.
07:55At least we finally get to meet Jason.
07:58Oh.
07:59Oh.
08:00You're practically part of the family now.
08:03Yeah.
08:04Okay, well, let's go in.
08:05Okay.
08:06Everybody's looking forward to meeting you.
08:08Okay, come on in here.
08:11Oh, my God.
08:13I thought you said this was family only.
08:16I didn't want the whole town to think that you were going to be a spinster forever.
08:21Everyone, this is Hillary's fiance, Jason.
08:25Hi.
08:26Hi.
08:27How's it going?
08:28Oh, hey.
08:29Oh, yeah.
08:30Oh, Jason?
08:31Yeah.
08:32You were that firm that's defending that schmuck, Shorman.
08:35Shorman?
08:36Yeah, man.
08:37He's as guilty as they come if you ask me.
08:39Pilking all those suckers out of their life savings.
08:41You know, Frank, I think everybody's considered innocent until proven guilty.
08:44I mean, isn't I right, Mr. Jason?
08:47Jason?
08:48Yeah.
08:49Mr. Burns.
08:50Call me Roy.
08:51Yes.
08:52Pleasure to meet you, Roy.
08:53You know what they say?
08:54How does it feel to be defending a crook like that?
08:57Well, I...
08:58You know what?
08:59Frank?
09:00Why don't you get yourself some eggnog?
09:01I just whipped up a fresh batch.
09:02Oh, that's a good time.
09:03Thanks, man.
09:04Frank just comes for the eggnog.
09:05Yeah.
09:06So listen, uh, what kind of cases do you do?
09:08Do you do, um, I don't know, fraud or extortion or money laundering?
09:12Uh, yeah.
09:13Yeah, I do all of those.
09:15Come on, Dad.
09:16Leave poor Jason alone.
09:17He's spent enough time in the office already.
09:19Yeah, give me all that lawyering.
09:21Do you play?
09:23Uh, yes, but quite badly.
09:25No.
09:26Oh, you're great.
09:27That...
09:28Mind if I don't?
09:31You know, when Hillary was young, she used to sing.
09:35Oh?
09:36Mm-hmm.
09:37No.
09:38Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
09:46Okay, everybody, it's time to show the engagement ring.
09:50Wait till you see this beauty.
09:53Ta-da!
09:54So...
09:56I, I, I, I...
10:00I, I, I, I...
10:01I, I...
10:02I...
10:03I went up in the ring.
10:04I, I...
10:05That's a funny story, actually, right?
10:07Sweetie, it turns out Hillary lost a few pounds,
10:10and the ring doesn't fit her anymore.
10:12Right.
10:13And this morning, she's taking a shower, she gets out of the shower,
10:15and the ring falls off her finger into the toilet.
10:18She calls me hysteric.
10:19Crazy.
10:20I was crazy.
10:21Crazy.
10:22She was freaking out.
10:23I get there.
10:24So, what do I do?
10:25I've got to man up, right, Roy?
10:26Yeah.
10:27I've got to do it.
10:28It's go time.
10:29So I, I, I get down there on my knees, and I, I, I go in there.
10:31I go in there.
10:32I go in deep.
10:33I can feel it.
10:34I can feel it right there.
10:35It gets away, then I have to, I have to go a little bit deeper.
10:36And I'm reaching for it.
10:37And...
10:38No, deeper, deeper.
10:39Deeper.
10:40Yes, really.
10:41Small hands.
10:42It's disturbing, actually.
10:43I can feel it.
10:44I can feel it.
10:45Right on the edge of my finger.
10:46It's right there.
10:47It's right there.
10:48And...
10:49I got it.
10:50Got the ring.
10:51Got the ring.
10:52We decided to leave it home till we get it resized.
10:54Yeah.
10:55Yeah, it's better safe than sorry.
10:57Right, sweetie?
10:58Mm.
10:59Mm-hmm.
11:00Heh heh.
11:01I'm gonna get a drink.
11:05Hey.
11:06Hell, isn't it?
11:07I thought you quit.
11:09I did.
11:11So, is my fiancé boring yours with his foot talk yet?
11:15No.
11:16But I think David's got his hands pretty full.
11:19Did I say David?
11:21Yeah.
11:22And Jason.
11:23Of course.
11:24David's a friend.
11:26I was on the phone.
11:27Okay.
11:28Well, I guess we better go back in there.
11:30If Mom has anything else to surprise me with, can you please tell me?
11:34Deal.
11:35Good to see you.
11:37Oh, my sweetie.
11:38Oh, yes.
11:39Your picture's taken.
11:40Oh, my family phone.
11:41Oh, yes, we are.
11:42We're together here.
11:43Hey, everybody.
11:44Ready?
11:45No.
11:46I don't worry.
11:47I could show Jason his room.
11:49Well, honey, don't be silly.
11:51The inn is full.
11:53Besides, I don't expect you to have separate rooms.
11:59Just separate beds.
12:01Separate ones.
12:02And if you need extra pillows or blankets, just ask me.
12:06That's okay, Mom.
12:07I think I know where everything is.
12:08Okay, well, you take it tonight.
12:09I'll take it tomorrow night.
12:10Whatever you want.
12:11Okay.
12:12I'm gonna go get a change for bed.
12:14Okay.
12:23Oh!
12:24Oh!
12:25Oh!
12:26Sorry.
12:27Um...
12:28No, I'm sorry.
12:29I thought you were still in the...
12:30Pajamas, please?
12:31Uh...
12:32No, I don't, uh...
12:33I don't wear...
12:34pajamas.
12:35I didn't bring it.
12:36I was fine.
12:37I was fine.
12:38See if my dad has something.
12:39Great!
12:46Daddy?
12:48Daddy.
12:49I plead not guilty.
12:50Sorry?
12:51What?
12:52Sorry?
12:53I came to ask you if Jason could borrow some pajamas.
12:55Oh, I don't have any.
12:57Your mother and I sleep in the wrong.
12:59Ugh.
13:00Since when?
13:01Oh, since Joy went off to college.
13:03Been crying around naked for a week.
13:05Make sure to see your mother.
13:06Oh, I don't, no, no.
13:07I don't need you.
13:08This guy, uh...
13:09This Jason.
13:10He treats you right, does he?
13:12Yeah.
13:13Yeah, of course.
13:14What?
13:15You love him?
13:17What?
13:18It's an easy question.
13:19Should be an easy answer.
13:20Dad, I'm marrying the guy.
13:22So?
13:23Do you love him?
13:25Yes, I do.
13:30Hey.
13:32Beatles are right after all, huh?
13:35All you need is love.
13:36No, no, no, no, no, no.
13:37No.
13:38No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
13:41I just wanted to let you know that I may have lucked into some tickets that might have
14:06Carmen and I don't know, I thought maybe you might want to go, you know, hey, um, call me.
14:31Morning. Morning, sweetheart. Where's Trish Young?
14:34Well, Trish has sold the hotel. Gil hasn't shown up yet.
14:38Why are they staying at a hotel when there's plenty of room here?
14:40Well, with Emma and the nanny, maybe they felt they'd be a bother.
14:45I don't even know why Trish has a nanny. I mean, come on. I felt like she's ever had a job.
14:49But it's nice that her husband can afford to give her whatever she wants. He's just never around.
14:56How about Jason? How much does he earn?
14:59Mom. Oh, sweetie, I just want to make sure that you're cared for.
15:03Oh, come on, Mom. It is the 21st century. You don't need to be cared for. We have our own jobs. Right, Hill?
15:12Actually, the newspaper I was working for shut down.
15:14Oh, honey, not again.
15:16Well, it's not my fault. Nobody reads newspapers anymore.
15:19Everything's on the internet.
15:20I know.
15:22Well, just in time, I want you to tell me if my yam casserole is sweet enough.
15:28Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not a fan.
15:31Yes, you are. You're such a joker. He's such a joker. He loves yams. Like I said, he loves yams.
15:36Yeah, I love it.
15:37Okay.
15:38Okay.
15:38I made that with Splenda instead of sugar.
15:48Maybe just a little more time. He is really funny. He is. He really is. He's so funny. He's such a kidder.
15:58Well, I just hope he's more serious when it comes to setting a wedding date. Please don't start.
16:04Honey, I'm sorry if I seem a little anxious. It's just that I have been deprived of planning the weddings for not one, but two of my daughters.
16:18Here we go.
16:18Can't you girls understand that a mother wants to plan her daughter's weddings?
16:25Oh, since you were babies, I've dreamed of this. And then to find out that Tricia eloped to an island.
16:32Well, what about Joy? Joy's engaged.
16:34Yes.
16:35Joy's engaged.
16:36Yes, she is. And has been for two years.
16:39I will be six feet under by the time she sets a date.
16:45I'm sorry if I'm a little...
16:48Upset.
16:50But, but honey, it's come down to you. You're the only one I can count on.
16:56I'm, I'm, uh, December 21st.
16:59I'm, I'm, uh, December 21st.
17:02I didn't want to tell you. I wanted to...
17:04We were going to surprise you at dinner, but that's it. December 21st.
17:08You're getting married on December 21st?
17:11Yes.
17:12Oh, my God.
17:13That's kind of soon, but it's fabulous.
17:16Oh, my darling, you're all...
17:17Oh, this is fantastic.
17:20Oh, did you hear?
17:22I'm so happy.
17:24Well, okay, I have to book the community hall and, and call Gayle's Greenery.
17:29I don't even know the number.
17:30We wanted something small.
17:31What are they doing out there?
17:43Well, your father got it in his head that he was going to deep fry the turkey this year.
17:48Once we get this baby boiling, you just rig the bird up to this line, just drop it in the oil, huh?
17:54Whatever you say.
17:55All right, let's fire this bad boy up.
17:57All right?
17:57Get that, would you?
17:58Yeah.
17:59Let me ask you something.
18:00Uh-huh.
18:00Do you ever, uh, represent a councilman or a politician or anything?
18:03No, not personally.
18:05But you could, huh?
18:06Sure.
18:07Good to know.
18:08Good to know.
18:10Uh, wait, don't you want to wait until the oil...
18:14Come on, we're missing the gate.
18:16Besides, it's going to take half an hour for it to get boiling.
18:18Come on.
18:18Oh, God.
18:20Okay.
18:21So, it's me.
18:23No, things are not going well at all.
18:24I just told my mom that David and I are getting married in a month.
18:26You're marrying David now?
18:28That was quick.
18:28No, no, no.
18:29Me and Jason.
18:30I just, I blurted it out that we're getting married on December 21st.
18:33Wait, what?
18:34This is nuts.
18:35We're putting you on speaker.
18:36Well, no, because what if Jason really did get cold feet and he's going to come back to me?
18:40Because I mean more than, more than Pittsburgh.
18:42And then the wedding's already planned, which is, which is actually not that crazy.
18:47No, it's crazy, you know.
18:48It's super crazy.
18:49I know, it's crazy.
18:51What am I going to do?
18:52Look, I don't know.
18:53Surf's up.
18:54Greg's going to be here any minute.
18:55I got to go.
18:56What?
18:57Yeah, just listen to your heart.
18:59Just ride the wave.
19:01Just ride the wave.
19:03What?
19:03Surf's up.
19:04I don't want to.
19:05I don't want to.
19:05Sophie.
19:06Sophie.
19:08You know, Roy, I think it's probably been 30 minutes.
19:12Should we go check on the pot?
19:14Do you know, I could use a little, you know, legal counsel.
19:19Oh, well, you're a councilman, right?
19:23I'm sure you have a great lawyer.
19:25He's a little too involved.
19:28You know what I mean.
19:29Anyway, what would be better than keeping it in the family?
19:32All right, well, I guess I better go.
19:35Drop that bird in the oil.
19:37Oh, are you sure you don't need a hand with that?
19:39No, no.
19:39I got it, Kirk.
19:43Ticklish.
19:46Hi.
19:48It's beeping.
19:50Hey, um, Peter, can I have my foot back, man?
19:55Oh, of course.
19:57You're welcome.
19:58You're welcome.
20:13Anything important?
20:14Oh, no, nothing important.
20:24Oh.
20:24Oh.
20:24Oh.
20:38Oh.
20:39Oh.
20:39Oh.
20:39Oh.
20:40For the love of...
20:50Well, this isn't so bad.
20:56Oh, um, I asked for a seltzer.
21:00This looks like tap water with cheese floating in it.
21:04Sorry, Mrs. Burns.
21:07I can see that your old boyfriend hasn't amounted to much.
21:12Hi.
21:12Hi.
21:13Sorry we're late.
21:14Hey.
21:14Hi.
21:15Where's Gil?
21:16Uh, the benefit that he was attending ran late, so now he snowed in in New York.
21:23Well, that's too bad.
21:24I know.
21:25If he were here, he could have gotten us a table at the golf club.
21:28Then we wouldn't have to eat in this dump.
21:30Hey, it's not snowing in New York.
21:32Hmm.
21:33Oh.
21:33It's not.
21:34You know, Gilbert has a platinum membership to all the best clubs.
21:36Well, I'm not a big golf fan, so this place suits me just fine.
21:42Hey.
21:44This is fine.
21:45This is great.
21:45I...
21:46No?
21:48That's...
21:48I thought you said that you met Jason at a charity golf tournament.
21:54Mm-hmm.
21:54That you were covering for that paper?
21:56That's right.
21:58Yeah.
21:58But I'm not a fan of the golf.
22:01But, you know, like a spectator.
22:03But I just play.
22:04But very, very badly.
22:05Very, very badly.
22:07That's why they gave you a car.
22:09Yeah.
22:09I...
22:10A Tesla, right?
22:11Yes.
22:12He won the car at the tournament.
22:13And then you interviewed the winner.
22:15Look at me.
22:16Hmm.
22:16He forgets everything, right, honey?
22:18Crazy.
22:18Yeah.
22:19I think you're sandbagging, aren't you?
22:21Oh, my God.
22:21Sand.
22:22Oh, my God.
22:22Hola.
22:23Oh, thank God.
22:24My name is Paco, and I'll be your server this holiday evening.
22:27Uh, would you like to hear about our specials?
22:29Ah, seguro.
22:29Uh, okay, well, basically what we have is anything that's chicken, poyo, we switch that
22:36out for guajolote.
22:39Guajolote?
22:40Oh.
22:42Guajolote.
22:43That means turkey.
22:44And that turkey tacos are particularly delicious tonight.
22:47My name.
22:48David?
22:49Yes?
22:49Hey, it's Julian.
22:53Hi, Julian.
22:54Hey.
22:55Hey, there.
22:56Hi, there.
22:57Oh.
22:57But my name is Jason.
22:59Jason?
23:00Jason is my name.
23:01No, it's not.
23:02Really?
23:03Yeah, it's Jason.
23:04Look, my...
23:05David is my middle name, so there's confusion sometimes.
23:09Oh, okay.
23:10Alrighty.
23:11Well, I mean, it's been a while since we did that bus and truck tour pair together.
23:15Oh, God, you look good.
23:17Are you still in the biz?
23:18Yes.
23:20So, what are you doing?
23:21Oh, you're looking at it.
23:22It's a nightmare, yeah.
23:23I had to move back in with my parents to get a more stable career going on.
23:26So, here I am.
23:27All right, I hear you.
23:29Gracias.
23:30De nada.
23:30I'll be there.
23:31It never stops.
23:33Anyway, I'll be back in a minute to get your orders.
23:35Just word to the wise, don't get the huevos rancheros.
23:38I had them for breakfast.
23:38I feel like there's a knife in my colon.
23:40Happy turkey day, everyone.
23:41Olé!
23:43Olé!
23:47Julian.
23:47So, Jason, David, what biz are you still in?
23:54Oh, I'm in the law.
23:57I do a little pro bono work.
24:02I'm charity.
24:04And I represented a few theater companies a few years back.
24:09So, theater people are so...
24:11I'm crazy.
24:13I'm in some salsa.
24:15Mm-hmm.
24:16He's a giver.
24:17Mm.
24:18Mm.
24:18How could you forget?
24:21We went over that at least a half a dozen times.
24:23I've never played golf before.
24:25It's not a part of my repertoire.
24:26And what was all that with the crazy waiter in the diner?
24:28We were in a production of hair eight years ago.
24:30How was I supposed to know we'd end up in...
24:32Where are we, anyway?
24:33Is everything okay?
24:35Yes, we were just talking about the mix-up of the diner.
24:39Oh, what mix-up?
24:41Well, I'm pooped.
24:42Oh, I'm pooped, too.
24:44It's not every day that we blow up a turkey around here.
24:47You know, dinner was actually kind of fun, and the Mexican food wasn't half bad.
24:51Oh, that's good.
24:52Not as good as your turkey dinner would have been.
24:54Wasn't even close.
24:56You know, if Hillary doesn't take me to the curb, maybe I'll be lucky enough to try it next year.
25:01Mm.
25:02Well, you know, I didn't want to deep-fry that turkey in the first place.
25:06Mm.
25:06But when Roy gets an idea stuck in his head...
25:10But we've got, uh, stuffing, three pies, and my yam casserole, which is always better on the second day, anyway.
25:17Mm, that is so true.
25:19You know, it's getting late.
25:21Mm-hmm.
25:21So you go to bed, get a good night's sleep,
25:25and we'll see you in the morning, okay?
25:26Yeah, good night.
25:29Your turn to sleep on the cot.
25:32I'm sorry.
25:36No.
25:38No, it was me.
25:40I dropped the ball.
25:42And I just, I don't know why you're doing this.
25:44I mean, I know you want the tickets, but there's got to be an easier way to get to Mexico.
25:50Playa del Carmen.
25:51It's where I met my girlfriend.
25:56Or, rather, my ex-girlfriend.
25:59I guess I thought that if I took her back to the resort where we met,
26:03and, I don't know, it might read Night the Spark or something.
26:07But, I didn't have enough money for the ticket, so.
26:12Well, I'm sure it'll work.
26:15I hope so.
26:17I mean, she's kind of dating this other guy right now.
26:23But, who does she call every time they break up?
26:26Me.
26:27So, obviously.
26:29She, deep down, she really doesn't want to be with him.
26:33So, you're the get-back guy.
26:37What?
26:38What, man?
26:41The get-back guy?
26:43You know, the guy she calls to get back at her ex.
26:46No, I'm not that guy.
26:47He's that guy.
26:48Well, when you met her, was she seeing him?
26:49No, they just broken up.
26:51See?
26:53No, no, no.
26:54It's not like that.
26:55No, they broke up.
26:56Uh-huh.
26:56And then we met.
26:58And then we were, you know, together.
27:01Like a couple.
27:02For how long?
27:03Uh, four, maybe, five weeks.
27:09And then she went back to him?
27:11Yeah, but she keeps calling me.
27:13Uh, all right.
27:14It may look like I'm the get-back guy,
27:17but I know that all she needs to do is get away from that hold he has on her.
27:24And then she can realize that what she really wants is me.
27:29Okay.
27:31Trust me.
27:32I know.
27:33She's materialistic and sentimental.
27:36So, this could work.
27:38Maybe.
27:39I mean, the ticket thing.
27:43Are you hungry?
27:47You know, I was bummed when the post closed down.
27:50That was my Sunday morning read.
27:51I love that funky rag.
27:52I know.
27:54The end of an era.
27:55So, are you going to find another gay reporting or something?
27:58I don't know.
27:59I mean, the only reason why I got that job was because my friend Sophie worked there,
28:02and I needed it, and I thought I'm very good at it.
28:05You wrote that article a few weeks back about the animal shelter, right?
28:10Yeah, that's what I mean.
28:11Well, you must have some talent.
28:13I mean, it's thanks to you that I am now the proud owner of the same dog you were hugging in that photo.
28:18You rescued Skittles from the animal shelter because of what I wrote?
28:21Yeah, only his name's Whiskey now.
28:25Yeah, I'm going to miss the post.
28:28I mean, I get all the news I can handle online, but I want to hold something, you know?
28:34Not just my laptop, but an actual newspaper.
28:36Yeah, I love print.
28:38Who says print is dead?
28:39Let's start a revolution.
28:40Be the print.
28:43Nice.
28:45What about you?
28:46This and that cell phone gig are the only paying jobs I've had in a while.
28:50Look at the pair of us.
28:54Jumped, unemployed, and eating sugar and carbs at midnight.
28:57Right.
29:02Who is it?
29:06I don't know.
29:08We should take this upstairs.
29:10Great idea.
29:11Only two more days to go.
29:13If we lie low, we just go with it?
29:16I think we can totally get through this.
29:17No, let's not pressure low.
29:20Let's get out of here and go sightseeing or something.
29:22I plan it.
29:28Wow.
29:29No.
29:30Oh, sorry.
29:31Oh, you startled me.
29:33It's beautiful.
29:35Oh, well, it will be.
29:37You do this all yourself?
29:38Every year.
29:39Um, can I help you at all?
29:41No.
29:42Oh.
29:44I'm sorry.
29:47Uh, okay.
29:49There is a wreath over there that I had designed for the mantle.
29:53Yes.
29:54Here?
29:54Pick it up very carefully, and it belongs right on the mantle in the center.
29:59Okay?
30:00Watch yourself on that ladder.
30:01Oh, I got it.
30:05Thank you, Jason.
30:06Don't worry about it.
30:08It's a little crooked there.
30:11No, I mean, thank you for Thanksgiving and for being such a good sport today, and thank
30:21you for loving my daughter.
30:26She loves you very much, you know.
30:29I can see it in her face.
30:34Well, uh, I love her, too, Mrs. Burns.
30:41Oh, call me Meredith.
30:43Please.
30:44Or, or Mom, if you like.
30:47Listen, uh, can I give you a hand with anything else, or?
30:55After 20-some years, I've got it down to a science.
30:59All right.
31:01I'll, um, head up to bed, then.
31:06Good night, Jason.
31:13Good night.
31:16Good night, Mom.
31:17Hey, Hillary.
31:30Yeah.
31:31You see this?
31:32Oh, yeah.
31:33My mom does this every year after Thanksgiving.
31:35It's her tradition.
31:36When we were little, we used to think it was elves or something.
31:38It's just the two I was looking for.
31:47I know you're only here for a few more days, but we have to find the perfect wedding dress
31:58and pick the china and the linens and the cake.
32:02Oh, I think you should go, hon.
32:05I mean, go with it.
32:07Isn't that what brides are supposed to do?
32:09Go dress shopping with their mothers?
32:10Yes, of course.
32:12Yeah.
32:12But you really think it's a good idea to go shopping on Black Friday?
32:15Let's go shopping.
32:17Let's go shopping.
32:19Yay.
32:31Mom, look.
32:32Oh, it's beautiful.
32:35Here, hold my purse.
32:38Are you almost ready?
32:50Oh, oh, Hillary, it looks beautiful.
32:56Yeah?
32:56Oh, honey, you look beautiful.
32:58Pretty.
32:59Thank you very much.
33:02Oh, darling, I love you.
33:04Yeah?
33:04Yeah.
33:06Oh.
33:07Oh.
33:07So what's going on with you and Jason?
33:12Nothing.
33:13My point exactly.
33:15We're two young lovebirds.
33:17I don't see much affection.
33:21No kiss, no hug.
33:22Mom, he's just not a touchy-feely guy.
33:24Don't worry about it.
33:25Well, I just want to be able to see your marriage succeed, you know.
33:30Most marriages fall apart first in the bedroom.
33:34You know, your father and I make love three times a week.
33:38Ah.
33:38My ears are bleeding.
33:39Jason's a good catch.
33:42A little odd and nervous, I guess, but I like him.
33:47He's good for you.
33:48Pretty.
33:55Oh.
33:57Pretty.
33:58Oh.
33:59Is she getting married?
34:00Well, yes, of course.
34:01I'm not.
34:02Oh.
34:03My therapist says that I should visualize what I want and it will manifest itself.
34:07Well, that sounds like a very good strategy.
34:12I want that dress.
34:13I'll take it.
34:14That's beautiful.
34:18Nice.
34:19Oh, ma'am.
34:20Ma'am, that is my fiancé's dress.
34:22I saw it first and it's mine.
34:24Okay, can I have you, please?
34:25No.
34:25Look, of your way.
34:26Pretty.
34:27Oh, my God.
34:29Who dressed my bride?
34:32Just between you and I, how would you advise a client to proceed if it was discovered
34:42that, let's say, he was getting money for selling, I don't know, boats?
34:47I would probably advise that person to stop talking about it and definitely not tell anyone.
34:51I'm not kidding.
34:52There's no one.
34:53Gotcha.
34:54Gotcha.
34:56Hey, so what do you like better, cups or mugs?
34:58I don't know.
34:59I think we get better.
35:00You've said a mug.
35:01What do you think?
35:01Table setting for eight or twelve?
35:04Hillary, can I talk you outside for a minute?
35:06Yeah.
35:10What, what, what?
35:11You do realize that we're not actually getting married, right?
35:16Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:18Yeah.
35:19But what if Jason actually did get cold feet?
35:21I mean, a lot of people think they want to move to Pittsburgh and then they change their
35:25mind.
35:26Hey, look sharp, kid.
35:28There is someone here to see you.
35:31Oh, Father Macy, what are you doing here?
35:38Well, sweetie, your wedding is in less than a month.
35:40You really should have met with Father Macy weeks ago, so I invited him over.
35:45Oh, hi.
35:46Oh.
35:46Hello, I'm Father Macy.
35:49Hi, Father.
35:51Jason.
35:52So, is there somewhere we could go and talk?
35:55Well, it's a beautiful day.
35:56Why don't you take a walk?
35:57Perfect.
35:59So, Jason, you're going to marry Hillary.
36:02That's what they keep telling me.
36:03I would like to make sure that you're both headed on the same path, that you share the
36:07same ideals and beliefs, for if not, the marriage could suffer.
36:10So, Jason, tell me, which church were you raised in?
36:16Well, I didn't actually go to church.
36:20No worries.
36:20Are you Roman Catholic?
36:22No.
36:23Protestant?
36:24Mm-hmm.
36:24LDS?
36:25Jewish.
36:27Jewish.
36:27Well, I see.
36:32I'm sure you understand, then, that I would not be able to perform on the ceremony.
36:35No, we talked about this, and Jason has no problem with converting.
36:39Actually, I...
36:40Oh, I have a wonderful idea.
36:43We could have Jason baptized at the same time as Emma.
36:46Oh, I don't...
36:47No, Trish, I don't...
36:48Yeah, that could...
36:50Wow.
36:51No way.
36:52No way I'm getting baptized.
36:53Come on.
36:54It's just a formality.
36:55It's not that big a deal.
36:56I'm Jewish?
36:57You're not that Jewish.
36:59What are you even talking about?
37:00My grandma, Turtletop, would roll in her grave if she knew I was doing this.
37:04My mom would be so disappointed if we don't have a wedding at her church.
37:07What wedding, Hillary?
37:09We're not really getting married.
37:10Just quiet.
37:11Shh.
37:11Shh.
37:14Oh, my God.
37:15I'm so sorry.
37:18This is so stupid.
37:20You're right.
37:21This is so stupid.
37:22What am I doing?
37:22This is so stupid.
37:23I mean, here I am, trying to do everything to make my mother happy.
37:28And for what?
37:29To set her up for my greatest disappointment ever.
37:32That's so foolish to think Jason is actually coming back.
37:35He's not coming back.
37:36I mean, he's in Pittsburgh.
37:37He's happy to be rid of me.
37:39I mean, God knows you've been throwing up already.
37:42I mean, God knows you've been throwing up already.
38:08So, uh, this is it.
38:14Engagement's off?
38:16Yes.
38:17Yeah.
38:18Engagement's off.
38:24Um.
38:26Is there a train or something I should catch?
38:30Yeah.
38:30Um, you missed the 5.30, but I think there's an 11.30.
38:36One, that's, that's better.
38:38I should probably wait to leave until after everyone's gone to bed, so.
38:42Thanks.
38:43Sure.
38:43Well, that was, uh, fun.
38:59Right?
38:59Yeah.
39:01Good luck with, uh, everything.
39:05I hope you find the spark in Mexico.
39:08Thanks.
39:08Uh.
39:09He says.
39:39I'll call you tomorrow.
39:42Joy, is that the waiter from the diner?
39:45Yeah.
39:46Stu and I dated for a couple months before Mom set me up with the footman.
39:50She thought Stu wasn't good enough, so she worked her magic,
39:55and the next thing I knew, Stu was out of the picture,
39:58and I was engaged to Pete the podiatrist.
40:01Is that why you haven't set a date?
40:04Don't get me wrong.
40:06Pete's a good man.
40:08A little weird?
40:09A good guy.
40:12I just don't love him.
40:16Not like I love Stu.
40:18What's really going on with you and Jason?
40:22Jason dumped me a week ago.
40:25So I hired an actor named David to play my fiancé for the weekend.
40:33You what?
40:33Wait, wait, wait.
40:38Okay, so where did Jason or David go?
40:43Left.
40:45Just...
40:46I don't know.
40:48I don't know.
40:48I don't know.
40:48It's left, it's...
40:50I don't know.
40:52Oh, wow.
40:54But you like him.
40:57David, you like David.
40:58I...
40:58What?
40:59I don't like David.
41:00I don't even know David.
41:01It's crazy.
41:02I like David.
41:03I'm...
41:04Yes.
41:05There's something I have to tell you.
41:07About Jason.
41:09He dumped me.
41:11I am well aware of what's going on.
41:14You are?
41:14Yes, I saw him leaving last night.
41:17Oh, that's just part of it.
41:19That's not...
41:19Hillary Jean.
41:20I have to say this.
41:22Sweetheart.
41:23When are you going to get serious?
41:25You are not a spring chicken anymore.
41:2830 is in the rearview mirror.
41:30And you have nothing to show for it.
41:33No career, no direction, and now I guess no Jason.
41:36Guess again?
41:38I found him sitting in his car.
41:39I thought I'd invite him in.
41:42Long story tell you later.
41:43They're still on.
41:44They're still on?
41:46Just so everyone knows, for the record, none of this is Hillary's fault.
41:50Oh, no.
41:51Okay?
41:52So, um, don't you two get a kiss and make up?
41:54No.
41:56Go on.
41:57Come on.
41:59Okay.
42:18Should I call Father Macy?
42:19I don't know.
42:21I don't know.
42:23No.
42:23No, that's fine.
42:24Call him.
42:25Call him.
42:28I gotta...
42:29I should go and pack.
42:34Told ya.
42:44Hey, we had a deal, right?
42:47So, is your ex or whatever, or is she going to Mexico?
42:53Yep.
42:54Well, that's nice.
42:55You guys should have a good time.
42:57I don't know about me, but I'm sure she and Peggy will have a great time.
43:01What do you mean?
43:02She thought I was giving her the tickets.
43:06Oh, how?
43:08She was just using me.
43:10It's the story of my life.
43:11Always the get-back guy, never just the guy.
43:13You know, don't give her those tickets.
43:15Hi, Liz.
43:20So, do you have the tickets?
43:23Yeah, about that.
43:24Um, you know, when I told you about these tickets, I was kind of hoping that you and I would go and have a very nice day.
43:29I would wait till Matt finds out that I'm going to Mexico.
43:33Right.
43:33Can we not talk about Matt, maybe?
43:35Oh, my God.
43:36He's gonna be so pissed.
43:38Hey, hi.
43:40Oh, I'm so sorry, Emily.
43:43I had to meet the caterers.
43:44I had another dress fitting.
43:47I'm sorry.
43:48And you are...
43:49You are...
43:51Lindsay.
43:53Lindsay?
43:54Lindsay, David told me all about you and Playa del Carmen.
43:59God, I guess I'm lucky he's not into party girls, huh?
44:02Did you send her an invite to our wedding?
44:05Wedding?
44:06You didn't send her an invite?
44:08It happened so fast, though.
44:10That's right.
44:11It was just boom, like that.
44:13Love at first sight.
44:14Isn't that right, too?
44:17Thanks, David.
44:18Can I just have the tickets, please?
44:20Please.
44:21David?
44:22That's actually why I'm here.
44:23I have to admit, when he first told me about your thing in Mexico, I was jealous.
44:28I was.
44:29In the heat of the moment, I told him to give the vouchers away, right?
44:32Because it's not like we're going to have a honeymoon where he met some girl.
44:35But then, I woke up this morning and I was like, no.
44:40You know what?
44:40The past is the past.
44:41The heck with it.
44:42I mean, he's marrying me, not you.
44:44So I went online, I traded in the vouchers, and surprise!
44:48Honeymoon in Playa del Carmen!
44:49You did it!
44:49I did it!
44:50Oh, come here.
44:50Oh, come here.
44:50Bye, Lindsay!
44:55Angels we have heard on high
45:23Sweetly singing on the plains
45:29Gloria
45:40In excelsis Deo
45:53Oh that was wonderful
46:02Honey I haven't heard you sing for so long
46:05And the two of you together
46:07Just beautiful
46:08Just beautiful
46:09Jason
46:16Jason
46:19What are you doing here?
46:23I wanted to see you
46:25Who is it honey?
46:28Oh
46:29Mom
46:31Dad
46:31Everybody
46:34This is Jason
46:37Happy holidays everybody
46:40Mom
46:47I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that
46:48But I didn't want to disappoint you
46:49So you bring a total stranger into my house
46:52I would never ever have believed
46:54That you would be capable of doing something so despicable
46:58What were you thinking?
47:00Peter and I are breaking up
47:01Sorry dude
47:06Was there any chance you might still be a lawyer with me?
47:20No
47:20Hilary
47:22Can we talk?
47:26I'm so sorry about David
47:27I don't know
47:28I think I might have lost my mind
47:30I'm so confused
47:31I don't know anything
47:32I don't understand
47:33You do?
47:35Because I don't
47:36People do crazy things when their hearts have been broken
47:39Besides
47:40Harboring grudges is no way for us to start our future together
47:43Our future?
47:45You said I was a mistake
47:48And I don't know if I want to move to Pittsburgh
47:51There is no Pittsburgh
47:52Sharpelle gave the promotion to his idiot nephew
47:56But
47:57None of that matters anymore
48:00Because
48:00Because now we can be together
48:03David?
48:16What are you doing?
48:17Well actually I was just going to go talk to Hilary
48:18I think that's a bad idea
48:20In fact I'm very surprised to see that you're still here
48:23Weren't you the one that was paid to fill Jason's shoes?
48:27And now that Jason is here
48:28I really don't think there's any reason for you to stay
48:32But I
48:33Don't
48:33Don't hurt Hilary's chances
48:35Okay
48:36No, no, no
48:38You know what?
48:40You may think that Jason
48:41Is the perfect son-in-law
48:43But he's not
48:44He walked out on Hilary
48:46She's the one who's perfect
48:48She's kind
48:48And she's beautiful
48:50And she's a gifted writer
48:51Have you ever even read
48:53One of her articles?
48:55She can talk to this whole thing
48:56Just because she's terrified
48:59Of disappointing you
49:01All she wants
49:04Is to keep you happy
49:05And Meredith
49:08I'm sorry
49:11That I deceived you
49:12I truly am very sorry
49:14And it's fine if you think that Jason will make her happy
49:17But have you ever
49:19Asked Hilary
49:20What will make her happy?
49:23Have you?
49:24Kiss me
49:41Kiss me
49:43I really have to get this done
49:45Kiss me like
49:45Like the future Mrs. King
49:47Kiss me like you love me
49:48Hilary
49:48I really don't think your parents asked the place for this
49:50You two love me
49:52Right?
49:56Go for King
49:57Bill's gonna be fine
49:59No
49:59Gary will get him to me
50:02I have a question
50:07Does
50:08Um
50:09Jason
50:10The real Jason
50:11Not the fake Jason
50:12Does he have any
50:15Other talents
50:15Besides being
50:16A good lawyer?
50:18What do you mean?
50:20Can you rig a turkey?
50:21Maybe play a tune?
50:23Jason?
50:25I don't think so
50:26What do you make you
50:28Sing?
50:30Like you did earlier
50:30Tonight?
50:35You know
50:35I know it doesn't seem like it
50:37But your mother really just wants you to be happy
50:40Maybe it's time you
50:42Told her what you want
50:44If you know what you want
50:46Mom
50:48Oh Hilary
50:50I'm so sorry honey
50:54You sent all these beautiful articles
50:57And
50:58I'm sorry
50:59I didn't read them
51:01You've always been a gifted writer
51:03And
51:03And all of those wonderful things
51:05That
51:06David yelled at me
51:07Do you
51:09Love
51:10Jason?
51:12Not
51:12Not
51:12I mean
51:13You know
51:13The real Jason
51:14Oh I know you mean
51:16No
51:20I think I hate him
51:26Me too
51:27Do you love David?
51:37I hate him
51:37I got to buy you a car
51:58Thanks
52:01I have four copies right
52:03What?
52:06You say my car?
52:08Hilary
52:08What?
52:09Are you
52:10Where are you going?
52:11I'll call you a cab
52:31Hi
52:39How did you
52:41I borrowed Jason's car
52:42You and Jason
52:46Nope
52:47Jason is a total jerk
52:49You're right
52:50And a big mistake
52:51Huge mistake
52:53Huge mistake
52:56Okay
52:57You're here now
53:00You're here
53:03Mm-hmm
53:03What does that make me?
53:09Not a mistake
53:10Not a mistake
53:33Learned
53:42raph
53:45I'll call you
53:45I'm
53:47I'm
53:48No
53:48John
53:48Lord
53:49I'm
53:51I'm
53:52I'm
53:52I'm
53:54I'm
53:54I'm
53:58I'm
53:59I'm
54:01I'm