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How To Tame A Silver Fox
Transcript
00:00:00Oh, looking good, girl.
00:00:16Just another creep. Just my luck.
00:00:23Please pick up.
00:00:24Hey, Dad, um, I'm stuck and I need you to come help me.
00:00:34Sure thing, hon.
00:00:35Are you seriously screwing someone right now?
00:00:38He'll be there soon.
00:00:41What?
00:00:42Who?
00:00:46Drugging girls in my club?
00:00:49You must have a death wish.
00:00:54You got the wrong guy, I swear!
00:01:03Shut up.
00:01:05You have the worst timing.
00:01:07Hey, you know that favor you owe me?
00:01:10I'm cashing it in.
00:01:12Now.
00:01:18What are you doing?
00:01:21What's a princess like you doing in a place like this?
00:01:29It's nice and warm in the back of my truck.
00:01:32You'll get away from me, creep.
00:01:34Ah, you've got a mouth on you, don't you?
00:01:39Stop!
00:01:40Let's see what else it can do.
00:01:44What the hell?
00:01:45What the hell?
00:01:51Mr. Collins?
00:01:54Dad sent his...
00:01:55best friend?
00:02:13You're shivering.
00:02:14Come on, kiddo.
00:02:16Kiddo?
00:02:16Why is he still calling me that?
00:02:18I'm a grown-ass woman.
00:02:22Do you want me to roll out a red carpet for you or what?
00:02:24Let's go.
00:02:33I haven't seen Mr. Collins in, like, five Christmases.
00:02:40It's tougher than I've ever met.
00:02:45Something wrong?
00:02:45Um, your arm is...
00:02:52Wet...
00:02:54from the rain.
00:02:59Wipe it, then.
00:02:59There's no rain up there.
00:03:22Rain, sorry.
00:03:24So, why'd my dad send you, anyway?
00:03:32Thought you'd be busy running your nightclub or beating up sleazebags, not picking up some guy's daughter.
00:03:39Come to think of it, I actually don't think I've seen my dad in months.
00:03:48I don't think I've seen my dad in months, and I...
00:03:50I don't do small-talk.
00:03:54Okay, then.
00:03:55Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop.
00:04:01I need to pick something.
00:04:02No, I'm not taking a little kid to buy alcohol.
00:04:05I am 22 years old.
00:04:06Exactly, kiddo.
00:04:07Shut up!
00:04:08You're not that much older than me.
00:04:11Look, I'm having a little kickback at my apartment later, and I need to buy alcohol,
00:04:14because otherwise nobody will want to be friends with me, and then I won't have any friends for the rest of the year.
00:04:18And nobody...
00:04:19If I take you, will you shut up?
00:04:25Yes.
00:04:33I'll be quick.
00:04:34You're not going out there dressed like that.
00:04:49It's not safe.
00:04:51Has it been like this the whole time?
00:04:53Yeah.
00:04:54Why didn't you say something?
00:04:56I just did.
00:04:57You freaking creep!
00:05:00Give me a jacket or something.
00:05:04When you're done checking me out,
00:05:31I think your store closes in two minutes.
00:05:34I was not checking you out.
00:05:36That was a yawn.
00:05:37I'm sure it was, kiddo.
00:05:38It's past your bedtime.
00:05:43Stop calling me kid.
00:05:44You might actually make friends tonight, Harper.
00:06:00This is a small kickback.
00:06:10Looks like a goddamn circus in there.
00:06:13Does your dad know about that?
00:06:15Well, maybe if my dad actually bothered to visit,
00:06:19I would give a shit what he thinks, but he doesn't live here.
00:06:22And neither do you.
00:06:23Yeah, about that.
00:06:25I live here now.
00:06:26He put me in charge.
00:06:27And I'm kicking everyone out.
00:06:29Wait, Chris.
00:06:29No, please.
00:06:33This might be my only chance to make friends.
00:06:36You can't buy your friends, kid.
00:06:48I don't have another choice.
00:06:50I've barely met anyone since I transferred here,
00:06:53and this is my last year of college,
00:06:54and I don't want to graduate alone.
00:06:59Fine.
00:07:00Have your kickback.
00:07:02Or not.
00:07:03Either way, I have to stay here until your dad gets back.
00:07:07I don't need you to look after me.
00:07:14Who is that?
00:07:16No.
00:07:21I'm going to kill you?
00:07:23Count your days, slut?
00:07:25It's not a big deal.
00:07:26I can explain.
00:07:28This is your ex, Brian.
00:07:29Your dad was talking about him.
00:07:30This sick fuck.
00:07:31You guys were spying on me?
00:07:34Mark cares about your safety.
00:07:37That's the only reason I'm here.
00:07:39It's either me living here or three bodyguards.
00:07:42Your choice.
00:07:51You are not living here.
00:07:53I don't give a shit what my dad says.
00:07:55I don't need a babysitter.
00:07:56Then stop acting like a baby.
00:08:03You better not show your face in there.
00:08:05I don't need you acting like an asshole to all my friends.
00:08:14God damn it.
00:08:16Promise to Mark.
00:08:17I don't need you.
00:08:18I don't need you.
00:08:18I don't need you.
00:08:23I don't need you.
00:08:23I don't need you.
00:08:24No!
00:08:26Whoa!
00:08:28Who's this?
00:08:29Pop Grandpa?
00:08:30Grandpa?
00:08:32He's hotter than you, Mike.
00:08:34Huh?
00:08:34Remind me why we're at a Loser Nobody's House when I run Greek life.
00:08:45I could literally be on a yacht right now.
00:08:48Apparently this chick Harper Reeves has a rich dad.
00:08:51And rich dad means fancy alcohol!
00:08:59Hi, hi. Christina, Fox, and Becca, too.
00:09:03I can't believe you guys actually came to my party.
00:09:06Duh. I didn't miss it.
00:09:11It's really nice to meet you.
00:09:13Well, please feel free to help yourselves.
00:09:19Thanks, Heather.
00:09:20Oh, it's Harper?
00:09:23Enjoy the party!
00:09:28I guess this bottle and the calendar makes up for having to put up with that dork Harper.
00:09:33Where's Harper?
00:09:36Harper?
00:09:39Forget Harper.
00:09:41Hang out with me.
00:09:43I know somewhere we can talk.
00:09:48I know somewhere we can talk.
00:09:50I don't like talking.
00:09:53Oh, I know your type, Daddy.
00:09:55Christina and I, we're into group activities.
00:09:58Talk or no talk?
00:10:01You're telling me you would turn down the both of us?
00:10:04For that nobody, Harper?
00:10:07Sorry, ladies.
00:10:08I don't like my women.
00:10:10Desperate.
00:10:11Oh, I mentioned Harper's name again, and I'll make you regret it.
00:10:18Huh?
00:10:20He really picked Harper over us?
00:10:23I think we need to teach that nobody a lesson about what happens to skanks who think they can upstage us.
00:10:28Oh, Harper, hey!
00:10:40Listen, do you think I could use your bathroom?
00:10:44Everyone is using the one downstairs, and...
00:10:48Ew!
00:10:48Yeah, of course you can.
00:10:50You're, you're like, your school royalty.
00:10:53Thanks.
00:10:55You know, I can't believe we didn't become friends earlier.
00:11:00We're, we're friends?
00:11:01Of course!
00:11:04I have to pee.
00:11:06Wait for me?
00:11:07Uh, yeah, of course.
00:11:08I'll just maybe be right outside my own room.
00:11:11What dirt can I find?
00:11:29Oh, this is gold!
00:11:34Harper, you are one psychotic little bitch.
00:11:41Time to shut your loser party down.
00:11:59I think I saw Harper go out there with a guy.
00:12:01Okay.
00:12:11What the hell?
00:12:21Attention, everybody.
00:12:24Hello.
00:12:25You all seem a little bored.
00:12:28So why don't I spice things up by reading...
00:12:32A few pages of Harper's diary.
00:12:38Let's see.
00:12:40Dear diary.
00:12:42Dad never wants to hang out with me.
00:12:45Sometimes I feel like he doesn't love me.
00:12:49Aw, Harper.
00:12:51Daddy issues much?
00:12:57No!
00:12:58I just need to give it back!
00:12:59Dad's friend, Chris, is like a dilf.
00:13:07That stands for a dad I'd like to fuck.
00:13:10And honestly, if he weren't my dad's best friend!
00:13:16You fantasize about the fucking guys your dad's age?
00:13:22Kerper, that is so nasty!
00:13:24No, Christina, it's not true!
00:13:26Christina, I think the bitch is in heat or something.
00:13:29Is all this talk about your weird grandpa fetish turning you on?
00:13:32Let's go back down.
00:13:46Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:13:48Fuck this.
00:13:59Jealous that a grandpa prefers Harper over a threesome with you and your loser friend?
00:14:27You were supposed to get rid of him!
00:14:35Ah!
00:14:37Come to her party.
00:14:39You take advantage of her kindness.
00:14:41And you make fun of her family life.
00:14:43It was a joke!
00:14:44It was a joke!
00:14:45The joke is the fact that Harper turned out to be a good kid without her father in her life.
00:14:50Your dad taught you how to be a witch.
00:14:54Chris, that's enough.
00:14:55Let her go.
00:15:00One last thing.
00:15:03Ah!
00:15:05What the hell is wrong with you?
00:15:07You're too old to be this petty!
00:15:09You're damn right I'm petty.
00:15:11Let's get one thing straight.
00:15:13Harper might be too kind to flash your family's connections.
00:15:16If you mess with her again...
00:15:17Fuck you up.
00:15:23But we're literally just girls.
00:15:25I don't give a fuck.
00:15:26Everyone out!
00:15:28The fuck out!
00:15:36What the hell was that?
00:15:39What the hell was that?
00:15:41She hurt you.
00:15:58Chris, I'm fine.
00:16:00Chris, I said I'm fine.
00:16:07You're crying.
00:16:10Why are you crying?
00:16:11I won't understand.
00:16:12Those aren't your friends, kid.
00:16:15They just tried to hurt you.
00:16:17I don't need you to fight my battles for me.
00:16:21Stupid.
00:16:21I know they're not my friends, but that was Christina Fox.
00:16:24You just embarrassed me.
00:16:25I'm gonna stop you right here.
00:16:26And she's the queen of our...
00:16:27I said stop!
00:16:28I said stop!
00:16:34I don't care if she runs the school.
00:16:36We'll find you another school.
00:16:38I'm here to keep you safe.
00:16:39Keep me safe by pulling out a gun in front of college students?
00:16:43Just because you run some sort of shady business, does...
00:16:45I choose my next words very carefully, kid.
00:16:50I told you...
00:16:52to stop calling me that.
00:16:55And I told you to stop acting like love.
00:17:01Oh, yeah?
00:17:04If I'm such a kid...
00:17:06What's that breast against my leg right now?
00:17:13Sorry, kid.
00:17:14That's my gun.
00:17:16You're gonna have to try a lot harder if you want to turn me on.
00:17:20You better not be here tomorrow.
00:17:25You better not be a single t-shirt in there, Chris Collins, I swear.
00:17:47I don't care what my dad says.
00:17:49Oh!
00:17:56God.
00:18:04What?
00:18:11What kind of freak is my dad friends with?
00:18:16No.
00:18:17No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:18:21It's gonna not be happening.
00:18:22He's gonna be back in every second.
00:18:33You know, if you weren't played, you could have just asked.
00:18:38I don't want to...
00:18:39I don't want to play.
00:18:40What do you even do with these, you perv?
00:18:43Oh, I'm the perv?
00:18:43You're the one who came into my room, into my closet, when I wasn't here.
00:18:49I was doing you a favor and helping you move out because you shouldn't be here.
00:18:56Uncuff me.
00:19:00What are your manners?
00:19:03Say please.
00:19:04I don't have time for your games, old man.
00:19:12Give me the key.
00:19:19What the...
00:19:20You and I are going to establish some ground rules.
00:19:23Are you ready to listen?
00:19:24Like a good little girl?
00:19:26Or am I going to have to keep you cuffed up all day?
00:19:32Rule number one.
00:19:35There was a lot of scarier shit out there, kiddo.
00:19:39You just haven't been out in the real world long enough to notice it.
00:19:42So when I tell you that I'm here to protect you, you better listen to everything I say.
00:19:48I can take care of my...
00:19:50Rule number two.
00:19:52No talking back.
00:19:54I am the last guy you want to piss off.
00:20:03Rule number three.
00:20:04Don't start any games.
00:20:10You're not ready to play.
00:20:26So what else do you have planned today?
00:20:27Uh, my plans are none of your concerns.
00:20:34Um, here in the regular, no-violent, non-mafia America, we have this thing called privacy.
00:20:42You can have your privacy.
00:20:45Until sunset.
00:20:47What does that mean?
00:20:52We have curfew.
00:20:54Ah!
00:20:57How's my daughter?
00:21:17Um, hot.
00:21:19What was that?
00:21:20Uh, she's hot-headed.
00:21:22Why the hell did I say that?
00:21:24That's why you're watching her and not me.
00:21:26Is she back from class?
00:21:28She was supposed to be back from class hours ago.
00:21:31Chris, is my daughter okay?
00:21:33She's fine, Mark.
00:21:35Good.
00:21:35You're my best friend.
00:21:37You're the only one I trust to keep her safe.
00:21:46You better have a good excuse when I find you.
00:21:48You better have a good idea.
00:21:54Give me some time.
00:21:57Stay with my drive.
00:21:59Over my head.
00:22:01Look at you.
00:22:03Give me the same.
00:22:05Hosent for that.
00:22:07Over my head.
00:22:09Give me some time.
00:22:11Stay with my drive.
00:22:12Over my head.
00:22:14What?
00:22:15you're a fucking strip club harper
00:22:24your dad wants me to keep you out of trouble
00:22:28and you're at a goddamn strip club
00:22:30excuse me we're filming
00:22:44filming filming what some real hot stuff
00:22:49now beat it grandpa go find a room somewhere else
00:22:52i'm looking for harper reeves it says her location is here
00:22:56so step aside before i make you
00:22:58nope harper is my best friend and she didn't mention some old dude would be looking for
00:23:04hey wait wait wait wait
00:23:06he looks so sexy keep going harper
00:23:17you shouldn't be here
00:23:26you shouldn't be here
00:23:28i tried to stop him
00:23:30no harper you shouldn't be in this grimy ass place
00:23:36what do you think you're doing here
00:23:37it's for a class project give him this camera back you prick
00:23:41class my ass
00:23:42is that what you told her to get her here
00:23:44i'd stick this camera straight up
00:23:46chris stop
00:23:47not until i pummel this creep
00:23:48then the camera's next
00:23:50hey wait wait wait not the camera
00:23:51that's a thousand dollars
00:23:53you should have thought about that before making harper shoot your porn
00:23:56that is enough
00:23:57these look amazing harper
00:24:13oh my best friend is so sexy
00:24:16wait till the whole class sees this
00:24:18no one's going to see these
00:24:19deleting them
00:24:20what that is art
00:24:23give him this camera back or i swear to god
00:24:25i'll go out there and i'll give one of those creeps a lap dance
00:24:28see how much my dad likes that
00:24:32your choice
00:24:37camera it is
00:24:42no no no no no no no
00:24:45you asshole
00:24:47if you ever ask harper to do something like this again
00:24:51i will jam that camera so far down your throat
00:24:54you'll be shitting out polaroids
00:24:56what the fuck
00:24:58is your problem
00:25:00we're leaving
00:25:05now
00:25:06so first you stalked me and then you humiliate me in front of my friends
00:25:17i did it for your own good
00:25:19you assaulted my classmate and ruined our project
00:25:23you need me around for your safety
00:25:25because clearly you can't do it on your own
00:25:27you should have seen the way those guys were looking at you
00:25:30like a piece of meat
00:25:32my classmate
00:25:34it sounds like someone's a little jealous
00:25:37jealous
00:25:41jealous
00:25:43you're cute harper
00:25:48i'll give you that
00:25:49and those
00:25:51things you do
00:25:52they're cute too
00:25:54you know what's not cute
00:25:56me jealous
00:25:59now you were right
00:26:01i'm in some shady business
00:26:02and i don't give two shits about what your little friends think about me
00:26:05but you better not test me
00:26:07or i'll break you
00:26:09in more than one way
00:26:13well guess what
00:26:19you just called me harper
00:26:21instead of kid
00:26:22just admit
00:26:25that you want me
00:26:27what the hell is happening to me
00:26:34there's no way i'm turned on by my best friend's daughter
00:26:39put your seatbelt on
00:26:41you know what chris
00:26:43you want to be my bodyguard
00:26:44fine
00:26:45but i'm gonna make you crazy for me
00:26:48let's see if dad keeps you around now
00:26:50so
00:26:52are you gonna tell me who that possessive psycho hottie is
00:26:57no
00:26:58are you sleeping with a professor
00:27:01oh my god maria no
00:27:03that's my dad's best friend chris collins
00:27:07he was sent here to
00:27:08keep me safe
00:27:10and he secretly wants to fuck you
00:27:12i don't know
00:27:14but i do know that that's the only way my dad will agree to send him home
00:27:17um
00:27:18wait
00:27:19you actually want to seduce your dad's best friend
00:27:22think about it
00:27:25we need to get my dad to fire chris
00:27:31the only way to do that is if he makes a move
00:27:33so that's step one
00:27:34hmm
00:27:35you should have seen the way he barged into that club looking for you
00:27:39he was jealous harves
00:27:40yeah right
00:27:41jealous of me
00:27:42i'm
00:27:43a college student who works at whole foods
00:27:45he's like a
00:27:46tech genius
00:27:47billionaire
00:27:48hobbyist mma fighter
00:27:50not jealous of you dummy
00:27:52jealous over you
00:27:54it looked like he wanted to kill erin over you dancing in that lingerie
00:27:57so all we have to do is somehow make chris more jealous until
00:28:02until he snaps
00:28:03and then he has to admit he's got the hots for his best friend's daughter
00:28:07and when your dad sees that
00:28:09he'll be on a plane to butt fuck nowhere in no time
00:28:13here's to operation seduction
00:28:16chris collins
00:28:18you better watch out
00:28:19because i get what i want
00:28:21sexy outfit
00:28:34check
00:28:34popcorn
00:28:36check
00:28:37a notebook
00:28:38the only movie that can make a guy cry
00:28:40check
00:28:41what do you want
00:28:53you done giving me the silent treatment
00:28:55um popcorn
00:28:57harper
00:28:58you idiot
00:28:59seduce him
00:29:01i mean i
00:29:02brought snacks
00:29:04as a peace offering
00:29:06but
00:29:08if you're busy i can come back later
00:29:10come on wait wait wait
00:29:12i have a date but that's not important your pulse is racing
00:29:17what's going on
00:29:19uh
00:29:20is your ex-boyfriend giving you trouble
00:29:23uh
00:29:23no i just
00:29:26i came to ask if you wanted to watch a movie
00:29:29but it's not
00:29:31well are we watching a movie or not
00:29:45but what about your date
00:29:53but what about your date
00:29:53how are you not crying this is like the saddest movie ever
00:30:16because it's not real
00:30:17because it's not real
00:30:18this is ridiculous
00:30:20no one would ever leave a perfect husband like that for someone like this
00:30:25it's true love
00:30:27there's no such thing as true love
00:30:30anyone who's fully grown knows that kiddo
00:30:33or
00:30:34maybe
00:30:37you're just a soulless
00:30:40ai bot
00:30:42and there are batteries in your back
00:30:45what exactly do you think you're doing touching me like that
00:30:55what exactly do you think you're doing touching me like that
00:31:01now come on
00:31:04just admit that you enjoyed it
00:31:06don't mess with me harper
00:31:14i'm not a toy
00:31:14i'll ruin you
00:31:15well
00:31:16i'm not just something that can be ruined
00:31:18as hard as you try to convince yourself
00:31:20i'm not a little girl anymore
00:31:22it's not a lie
00:31:27you are a beautiful woman
00:31:29and i'm too much for you kid
00:31:32you can't handle me
00:31:34try me
00:31:36i don't do that lovey-dovey shit
00:31:42i don't kiss
00:31:44and i don't make love harper
00:31:46maybe i'm into that
00:31:49no
00:31:50i don't think you are
00:31:53what did you get yourself into harper
00:31:58i don't think you are
00:31:59and even when you are as well
00:32:01i never loved you
00:32:02just
00:32:09shut up and watch the movie
00:32:13i'm sorry
00:32:14i love you
00:32:15this was the last thing i could do for you
00:32:18you're supposed to seduce him harper
00:32:28not be seduced by him
00:32:31i told you not to call me on my personal phone
00:32:35i told you not to call me on my personal phone
00:32:39you're late big daddy
00:32:41but you sound pissed
00:32:44so i'll wait
00:32:46you want to come in
00:32:48fuck your frustration up
00:32:50not tonight
00:32:50i'm busy
00:32:52busy
00:32:53never for me you're not
00:32:57when the hell could you possibly be
00:33:00are you with another woman
00:33:03woman
00:33:03no
00:33:04not a woman
00:33:08do you know how many guys would kill to be with me right now
00:33:13not this guy
00:33:20not this guy
00:33:21who is my number
00:33:23whoever this girl is
00:33:32your days are numbered
00:33:34do not flake on melana kaufman
00:33:41she's going to be the death of me
00:33:56kid
00:33:57because i'm coming for you chris collins
00:34:03today
00:34:13damn it harper
00:34:18damn it harper
00:34:24damn it harper
00:34:26damn it harper
00:34:27damn it harper
00:34:30damn it harper
00:34:31damn it
00:34:33no
00:34:34he's hell
00:34:52damn it
00:34:52damn it
00:34:54You know, if you're trying to fill me up, you should probably have your hand inside my pants.
00:35:06Oh my god, did we have sex?
00:35:09Oh my god, did we have sex?
00:35:11I slept with my dad's best friend.
00:35:13His business partner.
00:35:15I'm a dead girl walking.
00:35:17No, but we might as well if you're going to keep your hand on me.
00:35:24So, so we didn't?
00:35:28No.
00:35:30Because you're still alive.
00:35:32Trust me, you can't handle a night with me, Angel.
00:35:35One night with me is when you wouldn't survive.
00:35:38You don't know that.
00:35:41Let's just say you're lucky you're not my type.
00:35:44Oh yeah?
00:35:45Explain that.
00:35:47That's Mourningwood, sweetheart.
00:35:50Don't get your hopes up.
00:35:52We're not on a nickname basis.
00:35:54You're just some guy who works with my dad and can't take a hint.
00:36:00Is that what you tell all the guys to get them to sleep with you?
00:36:05Is that how you ask all the guys to sleep with you?
00:36:14What's wrong?
00:36:16Not as adventurous as you thought you were?
00:36:18I am going to go for a cockawalk.
00:36:22I'm going to go for a walk.
00:36:25With my friend.
00:36:25Thanks for watching me sleep.
00:36:28Bye.
00:36:28Bye.
00:36:28This will do.
00:36:50This will do.
00:36:50So my dad's best friend knows how to shoot a gun and beat up my ex, but not how to do laundry.
00:37:06Struggling much?
00:37:17Huh?
00:37:18Huh?
00:37:18I don't know what your game is, but wearing my shirt first thing in the morning is pretty obvious, kid.
00:37:46I had no other choice.
00:37:50I ran out of clothes and you don't know how to do laundry.
00:37:53Sounds like an excuse to wear my shirt.
00:37:57You just can't get away from me, can you?
00:37:59That's not.
00:38:05No underwear?
00:38:06That's bad manners, Angel.
00:38:15What are you going to do?
00:38:21Punish you.
00:38:27I don't know.
00:38:33Okay.
00:38:33I'll tie you up and fuck you only from the back.
00:38:47Would you complain about that, princess?
00:38:50I'd say do your worst.
00:38:53I'd say do your worst.
00:38:54I'd say do your worst.
00:38:54I'm sorry.
00:39:10I can't let this happen.
00:39:12What the heck?
00:39:12Why are you stopping?
00:39:17You deserve someone better that's not just going to tie you up, Harper.
00:39:20But, but what about-
00:39:24There's no buts.
00:39:27Can't let this happen again.
00:39:39Cut block.
00:39:40You actually tried to fuck your dad's best friend?
00:39:51You actually tried to fuck your dad's best friend?
00:39:55That was part of the plan!
00:39:57I can't even go back to my own place now.
00:39:59I'm so embarrassed.
00:40:00Was it big?
00:40:03So big.
00:40:04Look, I don't want to talk about Chris Collins' dick for a second longer.
00:40:10It's bad enough that I basically fondled him like I'm the sex freak.
00:40:14Wait, what do you mean?
00:40:15He's a sex freak?
00:40:16Like, BDSM?
00:40:18The whole nine yards.
00:40:19Whips, chains, handcuffs.
00:40:23My dad has the worst taste in friends, I swear.
00:40:25Why couldn't a hot leather daddy move across from me?
00:40:28Wait, do you think he's going to show up to the alumni gala tonight?
00:40:32Oh, I've got to talk to my best friend's future sugar daddy.
00:40:35Crap, what if he is coming?
00:40:37Well, then you're going to have to show up smoking hot if you want Operation Seduction to work.
00:40:57Stop messing with that.
00:40:59You're going to flash a 90-year-old alumni and give him a heart attack.
00:41:01You don't think it's too much, Maria?
00:41:04How else are you going to lose your man?
00:41:06He is not my man.
00:41:10I hope you're not talking about me.
00:41:14No, leave, Brian.
00:41:16She doesn't want to speak to you.
00:41:18You still letting this loser make your decisions for you?
00:41:21Harps?
00:41:22Huh?
00:41:23Huh?
00:41:26What do you want, Brian?
00:41:27Just five minutes.
00:41:35Fine.
00:41:36But, Harper, are you sure?
00:41:38It's okay.
00:41:38Maybe if I talk to him, he'll finally leave me alone.
00:41:40Where the fuck do you think you're taking?
00:42:06I want to get back together.
00:42:07You cheated on me.
00:42:11I deserve better, Brian, and it's not going to be from you.
00:42:14But that was months ago.
00:42:16Huh?
00:42:17Haven't you already got your payback yet?
00:42:19This isn't about payback.
00:42:22I've moved on, and you should, too.
00:42:24What do you mean, moved on?
00:42:28Hmm?
00:42:29Are you fucking other guys?
00:42:31You slut?
00:42:33Hmm?
00:42:33Get off of me.
00:42:34Stop.
00:42:34No, no, no, no, no.
00:42:36Get off of me.
00:42:36No, no, no.
00:42:36Let me see them.
00:42:38Let me see how you're fucking other guys.
00:42:40Show me.
00:42:40Show me.
00:42:41Let go of me.
00:42:43There's the most handsome man at the gala.
00:42:45I was hoping I'd run into you.
00:42:49A drink?
00:42:49I don't have time for this.
00:42:51You still owe me for our canceled plans, you know.
00:42:54That's not happening.
00:42:56Ever.
00:42:56Are you fucking breaking up with me?
00:43:00Me?
00:43:01We were never a thing to begin with, babe.
00:43:04Get the fuck out of my way before I ruin you.
00:43:07It's not a threat.
00:43:09It's a fact.
00:43:15You'll regret this, Christopher.
00:43:17But I'm not going to come after you.
00:43:19I'm going to come after your bitch that's stupid enough to take what's mine.
00:43:23Help me!
00:43:29Help!
00:43:30Why are you playing so hard again now, slut?
00:43:32Stop it, that's enough!
00:43:35Good girl.
00:43:38You are going to regret that, you bitch.
00:43:40I don't think she will, actually.
00:43:42That's for calling her a bitch.
00:43:45And this next one is because this suit is a Dior custom.
00:43:48You just made me rip, asshole.
00:43:50Are you okay?
00:43:56Take her, you psychopath.
00:43:58She's fucking used goods anyways.
00:44:10Stop it!
00:44:11You're going to kill him.
00:44:12Good.
00:44:12He's not worth it.
00:44:14Let's go.
00:44:17If you contact her, if you go anywhere near her, I'll finish the job.
00:44:22I promise.
00:44:24Let's go.
00:44:24Let's go.
00:44:39Fuck.
00:44:46Chris, you almost killed him.
00:44:49Should we call 911?
00:44:51Seriously, Harper?
00:44:53He tried to hurt you, you still care about him?
00:44:56I handled myself just fine.
00:44:57And if I wasn't there to save your ass, what would have happened?
00:44:59You're taking self-defense classes with me.
00:45:19So you're the little slut that Chris wants to play with now.
00:45:33Let's see who you are.
00:45:36Do we have to do this?
00:45:50What does swimming have to do with self-defense?
00:45:52Doesn't your crazy ex know you can't swim?
00:45:56Your dad wants me to keep you safe.
00:45:59So yes, we have to get rid of everything that your ex can use against you.
00:46:06I'm going to throw up.
00:46:20Breathe.
00:46:22You can do this.
00:46:36I'm right here.
00:46:53Don't focus on the water.
00:46:54Just look at me.
00:47:01It's not hard to do.
00:47:02It's okay.
00:47:16It's okay.
00:47:16It's okay.
00:47:17I got you.
00:47:19It's okay.
00:47:20It's okay.
00:47:25You're fine.
00:47:27You're fine, Harper.
00:47:29Just breathe.
00:47:36Just keep breathing.
00:47:39How are you feeling?
00:47:48Fine.
00:47:49Just insanely distracted.
00:47:52Ready for the next step?
00:47:53I don't know if I'm ready.
00:48:02I'll hold your hand the whole time.
00:48:07I thought you didn't make those.
00:48:11What?
00:48:14Oh my God.
00:48:16Oh my God, you're talking about swimming.
00:48:18What goes on in that head of yours?
00:48:28I want you to get used to being underwater.
00:48:30Parker.
00:48:53Parker.
00:48:54Parker.
00:48:55Parker.
00:48:56Parker.
00:48:58What happened?
00:49:03What happened?
00:49:04You blacked out.
00:49:05You're okay.
00:49:07You're okay.
00:49:08I'm sorry.
00:49:09I'm sorry.
00:49:11You did amazing.
00:49:17You're just going to get better and better.
00:49:18I can't do this.
00:49:21It's okay.
00:49:25We'll try again tomorrow.
00:49:27Just kiss me.
00:49:28Your dad won't like this.
00:49:33Don't think about him.
00:49:34If you want me, then kiss me.
00:49:38If you want me, then kiss me.
00:49:40I don't think you understand what you're getting into.
00:49:43I'm a dangerous man, Harper.
00:49:46Just say you don't want me.
00:49:47Does that feel like I don't want you?
00:50:01I want you.
00:50:04And I told you not to mess with me.
00:50:06You're going to get hurt.
00:50:06I really like it.
00:50:13what the hell what are you doing we need to talk about this first inside with our minds not our
00:50:28cross why are you being such a tease you grandpa i'm not a tease i just care about you
00:50:33so you are a grandpa just as much as you're a kid
00:50:38come on let's go inside no i need a moment to cool off
00:50:47i'm gonna shower
00:50:50what are you doing
00:51:03so this is where chris has been lately running a daycare who are you and what are you doing in my
00:51:19house who are you and what are you doing in my house i'm elena kaufman the heiress of the kaufman
00:51:29motor industries i noticed how closely you and chris collins were at the gala
00:51:34i wanted to warn you he might be sexy but you don't know how dangerous he really is sweetheart
00:51:41yeah he's here to protect me from danger like strangers breaking into my house
00:51:46oh honey i go where i want plus i keep tabs on our mutual friend you've been tracking him
00:51:56what kind of psycho are you the same kind he is let's just say chris and i have explored each
00:52:04other very intimately
00:52:06let's just say chris and i have explored each other very intimately i'm surprised
00:52:16doesn't look like you can handle him in bed just all around
00:52:22not intense enough for him not intense enough
00:52:28yeah well chris and i actually have a lot of fun
00:52:33oh please don't make me laugh i mean look at you
00:52:39you're the most vanilla missionary pillow princess ever
00:52:43you're out of your league kid don't call me that
00:52:48you want to know how chris likes the fuck
00:52:53he likes to take you from behind handcuff you so you can't run
00:52:58choke you out none of that kissing pillow talk
00:53:04well maybe he likes to have sex with you from behind because he doesn't like to look at your face
00:53:09he'll be bored of you in a week he actually lives here with me
00:53:17you're gonna scare me
00:53:20help me i can't swim
00:53:30help me i can't swim
00:53:36help me i can't swim
00:53:44help me i can't swim
00:53:46help me i can't swim
00:53:47help me i can't swim
00:53:48help me i can't swim
00:53:53help me please help me
00:53:57just crawl your way out idiot
00:54:00That's what you get for stealing my man.
00:54:09Harper!
00:54:30Harper! No! Come on!
00:54:44Harper! No! Come on!
00:54:55Harper! Harper!
00:54:57Oh, my God!
00:54:59Breathe, breathe, breathe. It's okay, I got you. You're safe.
00:55:03I thought I was gonna die. I thought I was gonna die.
00:55:07You're okay. Just breathe. Just breathe.
00:55:10You're safe now. Just breathe.
00:55:13Way to downgrade, Chris. I mean, I know she can homewreck, but she can't even swim. It's pathetic.
00:55:19Homewreck?
00:55:22Harper could never homewreck Esmola.
00:55:24Hmm.
00:55:26She couldn't if she tried.
00:55:30I knew you'd come back to me, baby.
00:55:33You were just playing hard to get, so I got a little jealous.
00:55:36She could never homewreck us, because...
00:55:40There's nothing to wreck.
00:55:44Joke me.
00:55:45Harder.
00:55:47I miss how rough you get out of baby.
00:55:52I don't love you. And you almost killed Harper.
00:55:55How was I supposed to know that the bitch couldn't swim?
00:56:01She's fine. Stop overreacting, baby.
00:56:04What are you doing?
00:56:09What are you doing?
00:56:10Tomorrow you're going to wake up to a call from your dad asking you why his company has tanked on the stock market.
00:56:21And why his major investors have pulled out their funds from Kaufman Motors.
00:56:24You're going to tell dear old dad that it's because his psychotic daughter is responsible for his company going bankrupt. You got that?
00:56:34Are you threatening me?
00:56:36No. I'm telling you. Don't fuck with the people I care about.
00:56:40Get out of here.
00:56:45Wait. Please. Don't. I'll... I'll do anything. Please.
00:56:49What are you doing?
00:57:03Chris, no!
00:57:05Wait! Wait!
00:57:10I'm sorry for the situation I put you in, Barbara.
00:57:30She will not bother you again. I swear.
00:57:35Don't worry about it.
00:57:36I guess we both have histories of dating crazies, huh?
00:57:46I never dated her.
00:57:48We weren't a thing.
00:57:51A lot of brain to her.
00:57:53Are you seriously jealous right now?
00:58:06She said that...
00:58:07She said that...
00:58:12That I would never be able to handle you.
00:58:18She said that...
00:58:23That I would never be able to handle you.
00:58:28Satisfy you.
00:58:29In bed.
00:58:30That I was too much of a kid and that...
00:58:40You'd never be into me.
00:58:46Is that true?
00:58:47That's not how I feel, Harper.
00:58:50That's not how I feel, Harper.
00:58:54But I don't know if I can tell you how I feel.
00:58:57I'm supposed to protect you.
00:58:59When I was in that pool, I...
00:59:02I really thought I was gonna die.
00:59:05And all I could think about was all the things I regret never doing.
00:59:08What did you regret?
00:59:10Not doing this sooner.
00:59:11A minute.
00:59:12half of the time.
00:59:14Do 15 years,15?
00:59:15It's every single time.
00:59:20What did you know?
00:59:22Not doing this sooner.
00:59:23IP
00:59:41what the hell am i doing why don't you stop again you're playing with fire harper your dad is going
01:00:00to kill me i promise you that my dad doesn't care about me or the things i get up to this isn't about
01:00:07mark it's about you and me so whatever it is you're dreaming of behind those doe eyes of yours you need
01:00:13to kill it i'm too dangerous so you're saying the kiss was a mistake i should forget this ever
01:00:25happened it's for the best harper there's a reason i don't let people close to me yeah
01:00:32it's because you're a coward you're allowed to be mad at me just admit it you led me on and then
01:00:40you got cold feet just be a man and own it it's not don't you're a psycho
01:00:45i'm just trying to protect you
01:00:55morning
01:01:04i'm not hungry
01:01:08you need to eat
01:01:12no what i need is for you to move out and leave me alone
01:01:26are we even now
01:01:33you bageled me and you made me strip tease for you
01:01:38what's wrong widow i hate seeing you like this you should have thought about that before
01:01:44you broke my heart
01:01:49columbia university gallery exhibition featuring the work of students harper reeves
01:02:04i'm going to make this up to you promise
01:02:19has mr colin seen this harper you're like michael fucking angelo
01:02:23nope and he's never going to huh i didn't invite chris to the gallery opening why would i invite
01:02:34an asshole who led me on oh hey hey let's forget about that douchebag okay
01:02:41you need to impress some fancy pants arts investor so you can pass this class and i am not letting
01:02:46you fail stop moping let's go wine and dine some rich people okay
01:02:54okay
01:02:56how long do you think this took to paint christina like a million hours who the fuck cares we're gonna destroy it in a few minutes anyway
01:03:17make sure no one's coming
01:03:24i think i hear them coming let's go one last touch
01:03:45let's go one last touch
01:03:56good luck being the only artist who doesn't make a single sale tonight
01:04:00harper
01:04:01tonight is gonna be perfect
01:04:07huh
01:04:08what
01:04:09no no no no my my final project
01:04:14how am i gonna graduate why would someone do this to me
01:04:18harper
01:04:25harper
01:04:26harper
01:04:27i'm kind of confused
01:04:28is the painting supposed to be this ugly
01:04:31shh
01:04:33is the painting supposed to be this ugly
01:04:36shh
01:04:37don't say that
01:04:39that
01:04:40it's obviously her self-portrait
01:04:46did you do this
01:04:50christina
01:04:52if i don't sell my work tonight i'm gonna fail the class
01:04:56we're gonna report you to the dean christina you're not gonna get away with this
01:05:00guess what
01:05:01you have no proof
01:05:02good luck with that losers
01:05:06that's what you get for fucking with me harper
01:05:10harper
01:05:11harper
01:05:12there's the student i've been looking for
01:05:14professor i can explain
01:05:15harper
01:05:19is this your work
01:05:22it's so ugly isn't it professor
01:05:25we have to fail harper
01:05:27it looks like a complete choke
01:05:30choked
01:05:31ladies
01:05:32i assure you harper knew what she was doing
01:05:35in fact
01:05:37a guest just bought this piece
01:05:39wait what
01:05:40who would buy this crap
01:05:42i will
01:05:55who would buy this piece of crap
01:05:57i will
01:06:00it's you
01:06:02you psycho grandpa attacked us at a party
01:06:06christina don't be rude
01:06:08don't you know who this is
01:06:10chris collins is a renowned rare art collector
01:06:13there's no way
01:06:15that's okay professor
01:06:16not everyone has taste
01:06:17how much for this painting
01:06:21how much for this painting
01:06:22oh no you
01:06:23our starting price is eighteen
01:06:28done
01:06:32wait eighteen hundred dollars
01:06:34you can study at this school or not
01:06:37we haven't sold one single painting for less than eighteen thousand dollars
01:06:40you're telling me this gun pulling whiskey chugging whack ass grandpa just has eighteen thousand dollars sitting in his bank account
01:06:53here's two mil
01:06:54what
01:06:55take the rest and buy
01:06:56art supplies
01:06:57whatever it is you need to get
01:06:58for harper's sake
01:06:59sir
01:07:00mr collins
01:07:01this is too much
01:07:02oh my god oh my god
01:07:04are you fucking kidding me
01:07:07are you fucking kidding me
01:07:09are you fucking kidding me
01:07:11language miss hawkes
01:07:13don't tell me what to do old lady
01:07:15who cares if this old man gave you two million dollars
01:07:19my father still runs this university
01:07:21money runs this university
01:07:23money runs this university
01:07:24money runs this university
01:07:25money runs this university
01:07:26and i'm going to report the two of you to the chancellor
01:07:28who will be ecstatic to see this check
01:07:30for disciplinary action
01:07:32you're going to get us expelled professor you can't
01:07:37please
01:07:38getting expelled sounds just about right to me
01:07:41no wait professor
01:07:42not so fast
01:07:43what the fuck else do you want from me
01:07:47I can't believe that you two would do something like this
01:08:00good luck proving it was us
01:08:02knowing that you have to live with your bitter jealous selves everyday is satisfying enough for me
01:08:08i don't need to ruin your lives
01:08:11no stresses though
01:08:13wait what
01:08:15what
01:08:17hey
01:08:18ah
01:08:24ahhhh
01:08:26ahhhh
01:08:27ahhhh
01:08:28ahhhh
01:08:29ahhhh
01:08:30ahhhh
01:08:31ahhhh
01:08:32ahhhh
01:08:33ahhhh
01:08:34ahhhh
01:08:35ahhhh
01:08:36g
01:08:38ahhhh
01:08:38ahhhh
01:08:39ahhhh
01:08:40ahhhh
01:08:41ahhhh
01:08:42ahhhh
01:08:43the chancellor wants you two in his office
01:08:45now you're being suspended let's go why are you grabbing us they're the ones who did this so
01:08:52rest them let's go oh i'm gonna have to get this on camera i'll see you later
01:08:57congratulations on the sell miss reeves chris that was 18 grand that's 18 000
01:09:07dollars seriously i thought it'd be more expensive
01:09:15what happened to the chris who said that it was a mistake getting to know me
01:09:21he um i mean i i was an idiot and i'm sorry but i think this might help
01:09:33show you how much i want you
01:09:45i want you harper i want to do things to you
01:09:56bad things
01:10:00but only if you want me to
01:10:04why do we stop we've been waiting so long for this
01:10:10i'm just gonna have to wait a teensy bit longer because i have to go wrap up the show
01:10:16why do we stop we've been waiting so long for this
01:10:23i'm just gonna have to wait a teensy bit longer because i have to go wrap up the show
01:10:28and i'll wait for you
01:10:34i'll wait for you
01:10:36or that for me tonight
01:10:44harper harper
01:10:46harper
01:10:47hello earth to harper you need to look at this
01:10:50can it wait maria i'm having very inappropriate thoughts about my father's business partner
01:10:56no no that's what i need to tell you about harper look
01:11:04the guns and the money it's not just for show harper he's dangerous you need to move out now
01:11:10you can't keep living with him i need to talk to him okay harper
01:11:24taxi for harper
01:11:28oi
01:11:30hey let go of me stop it
01:11:32please
01:11:42please let me go
01:11:44if it's money i'll give you however much you want
01:11:48harper harper harper harper
01:11:52harper
01:11:54ryan
01:11:56why are you doing this we broke up
01:11:58we broke up because you've been fucking that old man
01:12:00you psycho
01:12:02he had nothing to do with our breakup
01:12:04he humiliated me
01:12:08but luckily for me your little boyfriend
01:12:10what does he have
01:12:12he has some dangerous enemies ain't that right fellas
01:12:14once he arrives to save his little princess
01:12:18well we don't need to get into the gory details do we
01:12:20no
01:12:22no
01:12:24you can just watch
01:12:26no no no no
01:12:28no no no
01:12:30no no
01:12:32no no
01:12:34no
01:12:40A trap?
01:12:53What the hell?
01:13:10Not bad for a guy who hates romance.
01:13:16I hope you don't mind, I wanted our first time to be special, Harper.
01:13:21Before you sleep with my daughter, you should probably know where she is first.
01:13:29Hey crap, I can explain-
01:13:32You're gonna explain!
01:13:34But first, you know my daughter better than I do?
01:13:39Is that text a prank?
01:13:43Harper's in trouble, we need to go.
01:13:48Should we have some food with you? After we kill Brother Grant?
01:13:53Should we make him watch?
01:14:00Looks like he's here!
01:14:03Are you ready to see your boyfriend die, Harper?
01:14:09Get ready boys!
01:14:23I'm going to make you regret you ever touched her.
01:14:27That's what happens Chris, when you mess around with my shit!
01:14:34My shit!
01:14:52What's the matter tough guy?
01:14:53What?
01:14:54You can't talk without your little bodyguards!
01:15:03Let me go! I-I-I'll leave home!
01:15:05I already told you once!
01:15:06You should've listened to me dead!
01:15:08I'm gonna kill you with god damn dick!
01:15:11I'm gonna kill you with god damn dick!
01:15:12I'm gonna kill you with god damn dick!
01:15:13I'm gonna kill you!
01:15:16I'm gonna kill you with god damn dick!
01:15:18Ah!
01:15:19Ugh!
01:15:21Call your phone in at 8 Jim 11 and 675 Main...
01:15:26You're
01:15:31Are you okay?
01:15:33Did he hurt you?
01:15:34you? Chris, I put you in danger. You should run far away from me and my package. When
01:15:42it comes to you, Harper, I'm willing to take my chances. Would someone like to tell me
01:15:54what the fuck is going on? Oh my god, Dad, what the hell? It's okay. I'll handle it.
01:16:04I want to hear it from my daughter. Why are you making out with my best friend, Harper?
01:16:09I want an answer now before I kill him. No, Dad. Look, I know we don't have the most warm
01:16:15and fuzzy relationship. But? Deep down, I know that you just want me to be safe. Chris makes
01:16:28me feel safe. Please don't be mad. You're wrong about that. It's not deep down. It is the
01:16:39most important thing to me, your happiness. If that means being with Chris, then he better
01:16:47not screw this up or I will make him regret it. I believe you. You keep her safe. With
01:17:00my goddamn life.
01:17:01You remember my instructions? Yes.
01:17:19Yes. Yes, Daddy. Save it. Yes, Daddy. I want you to beg for it.
01:17:46I want you to beg for it. I want you to beg for it. Stop teasing. I want you now.
01:18:13Daddy, say it or I'll punish you. Don't stop, Daddy.
01:18:32I'll punish you again. Do you beg for it?
01:18:35Are you sure about that?
01:18:37Well, I can't help you. You don't.
01:18:40I can't help you. I can't help you.
01:18:48Are you sure about that?
01:18:55You have two choices, Mr. Collins.
01:19:09You can either uncuff me or fuck me.
01:19:25You know I'm dangerous, or it's your mind.
01:19:37Do your worst, Daddy.
01:19:55As I started, let's stop it.
01:20:05I thought you only fucked girls from behind.
01:20:13You're different.
01:20:25Ready for round five?
01:20:32Stop it, I'm sore.
01:20:34Now let me out so I can go pee.
01:20:38What if I don't?
01:20:42What was that?
01:20:43Crap, it's my dad.
01:20:45Honey, you home?
01:20:46Dad, I'm kind of busy right now.
01:20:48Stop it, I'm just going to come in for a long time.
01:20:50I told you I was busy.
01:20:55This is my home, Harper Reads.
01:20:58If you want to get up to adult stuff, you need to move out.
01:21:01Okay, I will.
01:21:03Can you get out?
01:21:17I think I've had enough surprises to last a lifetime, Chris.
01:21:20Can I please just open my eyes?
01:21:22No, please keep them covered.
01:21:24I want to give a speech.
01:21:27And I can't look at you while you're giving a speech?
01:21:28I get nervous when I open up.
01:21:32You literally carry around a gun, but whatever.
01:21:36Just get on with it.
01:21:38What I do for a living.
01:21:39The not-so-legal part.
01:21:44It's dangerous for me to let people into my life.
01:21:50And for me to be...
01:21:52Vulnerable?
01:21:54Yeah.
01:21:55But I knew when I was in charge of keeping you safe, I was doomed.
01:21:59You're like a magnet, Harper.
01:22:03And I want to be around you.
01:22:06Forever.
01:22:06So you're moving into the Empire State Building?
01:22:21I'm moving you in there.
01:22:24As a graduation present.
01:22:26And also, I love you and want you to be my girlfriend present.
01:22:36Only if you want to.
01:22:38Either way, the apartment's yours.
01:22:41Are you serious?
01:22:45What's wrong?
01:22:46It's a tacky?
01:22:48I liked it.
01:22:49I thought...
01:22:49Deal!
01:22:55But on one condition, boyfriend.
01:22:58Which is?
01:22:59You have to move in there with me.
01:23:02Deal.
01:23:03Deal.
01:23:03Deal.
01:23:11Deal.