The Simpsons Season 33 Episode 1

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Transcript

00:00Heh heh, good ol' reality TV.

00:02Snappy editing, no content.

00:07Homer!

00:11Marge!

00:20What the?

00:21I'm hosting book club tonight,

00:23and I was thinking,

00:25maybe you'd like to go to Moe's until we're done?

00:27You want me to go to Moe's?

00:29I do.

00:30Woohoo!

00:31How drunk can I get?

00:32Stinking or falling down?

00:33How about sociable?

00:35What I'm hearing is wedding drunk.

00:37Wedding drunk cash bar.

00:39Fine.

00:41So, who liked the book?

00:44Not me.

00:45It was a farewell to my Saturday.

00:49Hemingway is so clichéd.

00:51This book about Italian ambulance drivers was

00:54boring, boring, boring.

00:57There wasn't enough smoking in it for me.

01:01May I speak my piece?

01:02What's your problem, Daisy Mae?

01:04Couldn't make it through the audio book.

01:08Well, I thinks it's a classic of style

01:11that's more than a war story,

01:13and more than a love story.

01:15With deceptively simple prose,

01:17as lean and sturdy as a half-ton marlin.

01:23I mean, my eyes was bewitchified

01:25with all them squiggles and squirms.

01:28Well, I best guess I left all my kids with the nanny.

01:33You free Saturday?

01:40Then, the hillbilly woman made a comment

01:45that was profound and insightful.

01:47She's secretly smart.

01:48Helen, please do not gossip in church.

01:52Did you hear about Brandine?

01:57Well, it would be nice to hear something

01:59other than let me go.

02:01I have a family.

02:02Well, I tried you're under arrest,

02:04but you just laughed.

02:06We got some nice wigglers.

02:08They pair well with a hook.

02:11I'll take a box of Napa Valley Reds.

02:15Hey, Spuckler.

02:16I just want to warn you.

02:18Your wife isn't the woman you think she is.

02:21Just what does you mean?

02:23She's smart.

02:24Jeopardy smart.

02:26Celebrity Jeopardy?

02:27Regular Jeopardy.

02:31You do not tell a man he don't know his wife.

02:34That's like telling a man his gun's not loaded.

02:36You let him find that out

02:38at the worst possible time.

02:40Well, you should know.

02:41When your wife left the book club,

02:43she dropped this.

02:47Yeah, Mary has two Rs?

02:50Your bite, sir?

02:52You just keep your worms.

02:54I gots me bigger fish to fry.

02:57Gone good.

03:00What a senseless waste of worms.

03:04Men receiving credit for women's work in science

03:06has been dubbed the Matilda Effect,

03:09with such victims as Liza Meitner,

03:11Rosalind Franklin, and Jocelyn Bell Burnell.

03:14How many pumpkin stickers will it take for you to stop?

03:18Here, have the whole sheet.

03:20This is really important.

03:21Each of these heroines was nonplussed

03:23at their lack of recognition and...

03:25Sorry, Lisa.

03:26I don't think you're using that word correctly.

03:28Nonplussed?

03:30I'm pretty sure I am.

03:32It means perplexed.

03:38It does.

03:39As in the teacher was nonplussed

03:41by the impudence of a student.

03:43When I grow up, I want to be a big word.

03:46Lisa, you get in the back of the class and keep quiet.

03:49Do I get an A?

03:50An A for aggravation.

03:52Woohoo!

03:53An A is an A.

03:55Cletus, darling, I made your favorite.

04:05Sorry, but I'm in no mood for porcupine right now.

04:09Brandy, tell me true.

04:11Are you actually smart?

04:13Have all your yups just been yeses in disguise?

04:17Oh, don't be silly.

04:19Why, the only three R's I know are raccoons,

04:22Red Bull, and the rhythm method.

04:27Please, I needs to know.

04:29Brandy, who is you?

04:35Darling, I'm afraid I'm guilty of concealing

04:38a significant self-improvement.

04:41You... what?!

04:42It started a few years back with some books I read

04:45that fell off a passing tornado.

04:49It was like entering a universe I never knew existed.

04:53I went to the ballet.

05:01And I completed my self-education

05:03at the Springfield Athenaeum.

05:05The what?

05:06Athenaeum.

05:07The what?

05:08Museum.

05:09The what?

05:10Picature Palace.

05:12Got it.

05:13Oh, good lordy.

05:14I'm starting to worry there's more layers to you

05:16than a skunking tomato sandwich.

05:19Brandy, I'm sorry, but I can't have a stranger as my woman.

05:23Remember your vow.

05:24You promised to love, honor, and never grow in any way.

05:29Well, you're right about that.

05:31I'll leave now.

05:32But I'll be back for most of the children.

05:34That's fair enough.

05:35Alright, which ones of y'all wanna stay with?

05:37The ones of y'all wanna stay.

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