- 2 days ago
Fake Fiancé, Real Fire shortmintz
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01Wait, what are you doing? That is an original.
00:00:03I'm so sick of your bullshit!
00:00:06Oh, fine! I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one!
00:00:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion. You're treating me like shit!
00:00:16That's from the Renaissance! You are history's worst nightmare!
00:00:19I tried to make this work with you. We signed a contract!
00:00:22For an arranged marriage! Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:00:27You are such a simpleton!
00:00:31Wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:00:33Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat! I tried to get along with you, you brought this on to yourself!
00:00:38I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:00:40Right back at you!
00:00:42I fucking hate you!
00:00:44I fucking hate you more!
00:01:00So, you were arrested. Again!
00:01:11To be fair, we thought I was legal. We'll just swim there.
00:01:15There is a fence around that reservoir. It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters!
00:01:23If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I wouldn't have came.
00:01:27Come on, Gucci! Come on!
00:01:28Good boy!
00:01:29Oh!
00:01:30Come on, Gucci! Let's go!
00:01:31Hey!
00:01:32I'm here, we are!
00:01:33Oh!
00:01:34Oh!
00:01:35Oh!
00:01:36Come on, Gucci! Let's go!
00:01:37Hey!
00:01:38I'm here, we are!
00:01:39Oh!
00:01:40Hey, Jay!
00:01:41Oh!
00:01:42Oh!
00:01:43Oh!
00:01:44Oh!
00:01:45Oh!
00:01:46Oh!
00:01:47Oh!
00:01:48Oh!
00:01:49Oh!
00:01:50Come on, Gucci! Let's go!
00:01:55You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:02:01It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:02:06The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:02:09I make my own money.
00:02:11Oh, you see, see. Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:02:15I am the spokesperson for man foam.
00:02:17That means free underwear for life.
00:02:19For life.
00:02:20Some parents would be proud.
00:02:22Yeah?
00:02:23Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:02:27You are next up to be CEO at Dino Volino Cosmetics.
00:02:31Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:02:38All right, don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:02:40And don't be late.
00:02:41Bye, Dad.
00:02:42Excuse me.
00:02:43Eww.
00:02:44Hello, my Gucci.
00:02:48Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:02:49He needs to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:02:50Like you, Amelia.
00:02:51Good one, Romulus.
00:02:52Good one, Romulus.
00:03:09Good one, Romulus.
00:03:18These are great.
00:03:34I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:03:37Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:03:39No problem.
00:03:40Cool.
00:03:40Let's take five, and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:03:48Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:03:51Chantal.
00:03:52Nice to meet you.
00:03:54I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:03:57I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:03:59Hold that up.
00:04:04Hey, Dad.
00:04:06Where the hell were you?
00:04:08Dad, I'm on a photo shoot.
00:04:10You're supposed to be at the office.
00:04:13Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:04:15I can meet him later.
00:04:16Now the suit lady's back on the plane again.
00:04:19Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:04:21Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:04:24You've got to stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:04:26You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:04:30You interned.
00:04:31You went to business school.
00:04:33You have potential, okay?
00:04:35But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:04:38Well, you're going to have to prove it,
00:04:39because so far, I ain't seen the end tape from you.
00:04:43Bye, Dad.
00:04:46Hey, you okay?
00:04:51Yeah, but I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:04:55So, it's a really rare form of cancer.
00:05:13Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:05:16Oh, my God.
00:05:18There is an experimental treatment,
00:05:21but it's really expensive,
00:05:24and the insurance doesn't cover it.
00:05:26Don't worry about that.
00:05:28I have money saved.
00:05:31I'll find the rest.
00:05:32We will figure this out, okay?
00:05:34We're going to get through this together.
00:05:37Oh, yeah.
00:05:38Oh, yeah.
00:05:38Oh, yeah.
00:05:39Oh, yeah.
00:05:40Oh, yeah.
00:05:42Oh, yeah.
00:05:43Oh, yeah.
00:05:45Oh, yeah.
00:05:45Oh, yeah.
00:05:45Oh, yeah.
00:05:46Oh, yeah.
00:05:46Ciao, Gucci.
00:05:53Did she have a good walk?
00:05:57What's wrong?
00:06:03I'm sorry.
00:06:05This is...
00:06:05No, no, forget about it.
00:06:06I'm sorry about your sister.
00:06:08The treatments are just really expensive.
00:06:11I have a savings for my doggy daycare, my dream,
00:06:15but it's only enough for one treatment,
00:06:20but who knows how many she's going to need.
00:06:23Betsy practically raised us.
00:06:26After her parents passed,
00:06:28I would do anything for her.
00:06:31Amelia,
00:06:32I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:06:36You do?
00:06:36You do?
00:06:36Come back tonight and make something nice.
00:06:45Come on, Peggy.
00:06:53Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:06:56Except for the dog hair.
00:06:59Well, come with me.
00:07:03I have someone I want you to meet.
00:07:05Are they from Italy?
00:07:07Yes.
00:07:08Wow.
00:07:08Yes, of course, everything's from Italy here.
00:07:12Well, Amelia, meet Michelangelo, my son.
00:07:16I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday, huh?
00:07:19Mm-hmm.
00:07:20Yeah.
00:07:21Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:07:23I'm a dog walker.
00:07:24Don't be so defensive.
00:07:27I wasn't.
00:07:32Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:07:35I have some unfinished business to do.
00:07:37Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:07:39Oh, Amelia.
00:07:41Hey, arrivederci, huh?
00:07:43Do you want to do me a favor?
00:07:56What, exactly?
00:08:04How does it look?
00:08:06Not half bad.
00:08:07I mean, it's fine.
00:08:10Whatever.
00:08:13Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:08:16Or not.
00:08:17I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:08:20You work for my dad.
00:08:21You have to do what I say.
00:08:22You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:08:25Just a few more pictures.
00:08:27I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:08:29I don't need Tinder.
00:08:30I'm an underwear model.
00:08:32My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:08:35Whatever.
00:08:36Pour me another.
00:08:42I told you I'm...
00:08:43Now!
00:08:47Fine.
00:08:54See, dog walker?
00:08:55That wasn't so hard.
00:08:59What the fuck?
00:09:00This is fucking Prada!
00:09:07Asshole!
00:09:09You crazy bitch!
00:09:12Amelia!
00:09:13Whoa.
00:09:13What's wrong?
00:09:15I asked her to pour me another drink, and she flipped out.
00:09:18I'm sorry, Romulus, but your son is a prick.
00:09:21I'm going to be leaving.
00:09:22No, no, no, please.
00:09:22I apologize.
00:09:24My son, he's immature.
00:09:25All right, and that's why I invited you to put forward it.
00:09:31Please, all right?
00:09:32Just have a seat, all right?
00:09:34And I promise, he'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the night.
00:09:36Won't you, son?
00:09:38So, Amelia needs money to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:09:44Cancer?
00:09:45Yeah.
00:09:46And you need to settle down and prove that you're worthy of running the family business.
00:09:51Make my own money, Dad.
00:09:52Okay, I want the business.
00:09:56I think we can make a deal whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:10:04What kind of deal?
00:10:06Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:10:08No, you two just have to get married, that's all.
00:10:12What?
00:10:14What?
00:10:15Romulus, what are you saying?
00:10:17I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:10:19Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:10:23Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:10:26Colangelo, look.
00:10:28You have to grow up before you can run out business.
00:10:30And the best way to do that is to get married.
00:10:33We're not even a match.
00:10:35We hate each other.
00:10:36At least I do.
00:10:37Obviously.
00:10:38See?
00:10:39There's something uncommon already.
00:10:41Look, you know,
00:10:43my wife and I, we were opposites.
00:10:45Oh, yeah, we were like pizza and Hawaiian pizza.
00:10:50She sure drove me crazy when we first met her.
00:10:54I know you're probably thinking I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:10:56But I learned a thing or two in 70 years.
00:11:00You two have chemistry.
00:11:02Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:11:04As if.
00:11:06Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:11:08I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life.
00:11:10Amelia, you do want to help your sister, don't you?
00:11:12Well, you'll be able to afford the treatment
00:11:15if you just agree to this arrangement.
00:11:22What's it going to be?
00:11:26What's it going to be?
00:11:29Fine.
00:11:31I'll do it.
00:11:32For Betsy.
00:11:37Colangelo,
00:11:38it's not polite to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:11:40If you're not going to agree to marry her,
00:11:44then you're going to lose the business.
00:11:47And you're also going to lose your inheritance.
00:11:50What the hell, Dad?
00:11:54Fuck it.
00:11:55Fine.
00:11:56I'll do it.
00:11:57Now, let's just go into the office now.
00:12:01The lorries have already drafted the contract.
00:12:03And, son, we are going to need some champagne.
00:12:07I read my mind.
00:12:08Try and make yourself look decent at home.
00:12:13You will be engaged for a period of 30 days,
00:12:16followed by a wedding planned by me.
00:12:19And I'll tell you,
00:12:20it's going to be a big one for the ages, too.
00:12:23I hope the Hollywood Bowl's not booked.
00:12:25Anyway,
00:12:26you must move in together immediately
00:12:28to avoid any suspicion, you know.
00:12:31Look, there's nothing wrong with an arranged marriage,
00:12:34but, well, it can't do any good
00:12:36if word got out to the public, right?
00:12:38That's why this has to be our own secret.
00:12:41Are we agreed?
00:12:43Sure.
00:12:44All right.
00:12:45Sign in.
00:12:46Salute to the new couple.
00:13:07So, your place or mine?
00:13:19I'm not staying at a doghouse.
00:13:21Fine.
00:13:22Then we'll stay at yours.
00:13:23So, this is Michelangelo's place.
00:13:35It's like a museum in here.
00:13:38A Michelangelo museum.
00:13:40Ugh.
00:13:40Ugh.
00:13:40Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:13:55What was this?
00:13:57Put it in the trash.
00:13:58This isn't trash.
00:13:59These are my sisters.
00:14:00She's an artist.
00:14:01So, put them in your room.
00:14:03I said you could live here,
00:14:04not decorate.
00:14:05Oh, I'm sorry.
00:14:06Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:14:08That's man-thong.
00:14:10It's trademarked.
00:14:10Look, I gotta go meet somebody.
00:14:17If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back,
00:14:18we're throwing it all in the fireplace.
00:14:21It's electric.
00:14:27Oh, by the way,
00:14:29this is gonna work.
00:14:31You might want to start wearing that.
00:14:34Gee, thanks.
00:14:36Welcome.
00:14:36You're getting married?
00:14:44Shh, Betsy.
00:14:45Don't tell the whole world.
00:14:47Sorry, Amelia.
00:14:49It's just...
00:14:50It's not like you.
00:14:52You're saying you're...
00:14:53reserved.
00:14:54You're safe.
00:14:56Like I always taught you.
00:15:00Well, things change when you find out your sister has cancer.
00:15:05And besides,
00:15:06Michelangelo offered to help pay for some of your treatments.
00:15:08So, I'm okay with a quick proposal.
00:15:11Michelangelo?
00:15:13The Ninja Turtle?
00:15:15No.
00:15:16Michelangelo...
00:15:18Dino Valeno?
00:15:19Maybe you've heard of him?
00:15:21Michelangelo Dino Valeno?
00:15:23Michelangelo Dino Valeno?
00:15:23Shhh.
00:15:27Socialite animals like start a hundred canceled Bravo shows?
00:15:31How did you even meet?
00:15:33His dad is one of my clients.
00:15:36It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:15:40He's so toxic.
00:15:44Speak of the devil.
00:15:46Oh, yeah.
00:15:49You know, that's probably an old issue.
00:15:51This is a doctor's office.
00:15:55Amelia.
00:15:57Betsy Carlisle?
00:16:00Doctor's ready.
00:16:02We'll talk about this later.
00:16:09Thanks.
00:16:21We're ready to get wet, baby.
00:16:28We're already wet.
00:16:45Where did that come from?
00:16:47Nice place.
00:17:12I love the artwork.
00:17:14Thanks.
00:17:15Finally.
00:17:17Ooh, good taste.
00:17:20Oh, I'm good.
00:17:22You had plenty at dinner.
00:17:24More for me.
00:17:28You know,
00:17:29if you like it down here,
00:17:31you should see the bed.
00:17:32Who are you?
00:17:46Who are you?
00:17:48Chantel, this is Amelia,
00:17:50my roommate.
00:17:52Amelia.
00:17:53Whatever.
00:17:55Can you guys just keep it down?
00:17:57I have work tomorrow morning.
00:17:59This is my house?
00:18:01We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:18:04Scream at the top of our lungs.
00:18:07You've got to be kidding me.
00:18:09What's wrong, Dog Walker?
00:18:11Who's jealous?
00:18:13Jealous?
00:18:13I'm not jealous.
00:18:17Sweet dreams.
00:18:18I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:18:27How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:18:30Even if he is kind of hot.
00:18:32See you later.
00:18:51And, um,
00:18:53don't worry about last night.
00:18:55Sorry.
00:18:56I had one too many to drink.
00:18:57It won't happen again.
00:18:58You better not.
00:19:02How's the hangover, roomie?
00:19:13Not now.
00:19:15My head's killing me.
00:19:16We need to talk about last night.
00:19:17No.
00:19:18What we need to do is order a three-egg omelet and home fries.
00:19:22I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:19:24Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:19:26But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:19:29And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night
00:19:31that you don't care about me.
00:19:32Fine.
00:19:33I'll have her sign an NDA.
00:19:34Just give me my phone.
00:19:35My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:19:39And if the paparazzi find out about this,
00:19:41then the contract is violated.
00:19:43Then neither of us get what we want.
00:19:45Yeah, no shit.
00:19:46I'm serious.
00:19:48Don't screw this up.
00:19:51I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:19:53I know what I'm doing.
00:19:55Dog walker.
00:19:55And just so we're clear,
00:19:57I will fuck whoever I want.
00:19:59Whenever I want.
00:20:00Wherever I want.
00:20:02Fine.
00:20:03Do whatever you want.
00:20:06Sorry.
00:20:07It's a bit harsh.
00:20:08I'm just really...
00:20:10hungover.
00:20:14That could have gone better.
00:20:15Hey, baby.
00:20:22You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:20:25You're rich now.
00:20:26I know.
00:20:27I like him.
00:20:28Ah, it's good to hear.
00:20:30You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:20:34Tell me, uh, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:20:38Oh, fine.
00:20:39Yeah.
00:20:40We're still getting to know each other.
00:20:42All right.
00:20:42Well, give him time, all right?
00:20:44Oh, and listen.
00:20:46He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:20:49Look, I...
00:20:49I promise.
00:20:50I wouldn't be so sure.
00:20:52Yeah.
00:20:53You're right.
00:20:54Well, we'll see you later.
00:20:56Yeah.
00:20:56Come on, Gucci.
00:20:57Yeah.
00:20:58Come on.
00:20:59Bye, Gooch.
00:21:03Hey, Amelia.
00:21:04Hey, Jake.
00:21:06Gucci, no!
00:21:07Royce!
00:21:08I see a bad dog, but I'm not actually mad about this.
00:21:14It's to see you up close for once.
00:21:16Yeah.
00:21:17Same here.
00:21:24Sorry.
00:21:25Gucci's, um, a bit crazy.
00:21:28This whole family, actually.
00:21:31All these rich people are nuts.
00:21:33I should make a reality show.
00:21:34Little dog owners of Beverly Hills.
00:21:36Do you want to walk together?
00:21:41Let these two get to know each other?
00:21:43Yeah.
00:21:44I'd like that.
00:21:49So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:21:52A couple months.
00:21:53I like it.
00:21:55I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:21:57Barista.
00:21:58Uber driver.
00:22:00Delivery guy.
00:22:02Movie extra?
00:22:03You were in a movie.
00:22:04Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:22:06I was trying to impress you.
00:22:09How about you?
00:22:10How long have you been doing this?
00:22:12I don't know.
00:22:12My whole life, I guess.
00:22:14It started as a summer job, and then I turned it into my own business.
00:22:18I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:22:21Wow.
00:22:22I guess you really like dogs.
00:22:24Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:22:26If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:22:32My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:22:35Do you want to go?
00:22:37I'm going to have to admit, I had a crush on you.
00:22:41You did?
00:22:42I still do.
00:22:49He's cute.
00:22:50I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:22:54Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:23:00I'd love to go to the concert.
00:23:02Hell yeah.
00:23:04I mean, uh, regular.
00:23:06Yeah.
00:23:06I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:23:13I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:23:17Hey, what's your ring?
00:23:20Um, it's just a class ring from high school.
00:23:25Looks pretty big.
00:23:27It was a big school.
00:23:29Public schools.
00:23:30Am I right?
00:23:36I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:23:39Me?
00:23:40Engaged?
00:23:41No.
00:23:42Are you kidding?
00:23:42I'm 24.
00:23:44I'm practically still a baby.
00:23:45I mean, I should be wearing diapers.
00:23:48Crawling around.
00:23:49Drooling.
00:23:49Nope.
00:23:50Single and ready to mingle.
00:23:52Okay.
00:23:56Royce pooped.
00:23:58I should pick it up.
00:23:59Where?
00:23:59I don't see it.
00:24:00Just over there.
00:24:02Come on.
00:24:06Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:24:10Of course.
00:24:11It's an office.
00:24:12You want to be CEO, you got to look the part.
00:24:15You mean like you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:24:20Very funny.
00:24:21You know I'm retiring next year.
00:24:22Yes, I know.
00:24:23Yeah.
00:24:23That means you got to get up to speed rapidamente.
00:24:26So today you're going to be my shadow, you'll be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:24:30Can I get to Starbucks first?
00:24:31Fuck no.
00:24:33Come on, Dad.
00:24:34Oh my goodness.
00:24:48Are you okay?
00:24:49Hi.
00:24:50I'm Michelangelo.
00:24:56You're engaged, remember?
00:24:57And this is our new palette.
00:25:02It's Matt's collection.
00:25:04He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:25:08But yeah, that's the presentation for me, Michelangelo.
00:25:13What, Dad?
00:25:23What a day, Dad.
00:25:25It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:25:26Look at you.
00:25:27You got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:25:31Just stick with it, will you, kid?
00:25:33Hard work does pay off.
00:25:35Let me just look at Amelia.
00:25:37What about her?
00:25:38She comes from nothing, son.
00:25:40Nobody taught her how to run a business, but she just worked hard, and now she earns money
00:25:46doing what she loves.
00:25:47I guess that's impressive.
00:25:49Yeah, see.
00:25:50See, it is.
00:25:51I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:25:54I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:26:02Break's over.
00:26:03Well, not too bad, huh?
00:26:19One day down.
00:26:21Forty more years to go.
00:26:25Now this is the time when you go home with Amelia, you talk about the day's work, raise
00:26:32you closer together, comfort each other, just like your mom and I used to do.
00:26:38You know, I'm thinking, it's time for the world to meet Amelia tonight.
00:26:46Tonight?
00:26:48Shit.
00:26:49When am I going to tell Chantel?
00:26:50I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight.
00:26:52The L.A. Zoo fundraiser.
00:26:54Lights, camera, red carpet.
00:26:56Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition to the Dino Verdeenia Namia.
00:27:02Don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:27:04I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:27:07What's the matter?
00:27:09You're getting along, aren't you?
00:27:10Yeah, yeah.
00:27:11Just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:27:15All right, so it's all settled.
00:27:16I'll see you at 8 o'clock tonight in the limo, and don't be late.
00:27:20All right, Dad.
00:27:35So, remind me, why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:27:40Because I want to do something nice for my favorite big sister.
00:27:45And?
00:27:47And, you know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:27:50But, since I'm part of the Dino Levino family now, I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:27:56You better not let that hair down.
00:27:58Sorry, just an expression.
00:27:59How's it going in there?
00:28:08I'm coming out.
00:28:09That bad?
00:28:21I've never seen a dog walker look this hot.
00:28:26Buy that dress.
00:28:27ASAP.
00:28:28Leave me alone, party boy.
00:28:34I've got my own function tonight.
00:28:35I've got my own function tonight.
00:29:05What are you looking at?
00:29:11You're spilling all over yourself.
00:29:13Thanks.
00:29:13Um, I...
00:29:16Did you forget my name?
00:29:18No, there's just...
00:29:20Something different.
00:29:22Did you change your hair?
00:29:24Why do you care?
00:29:25The manwhore house is yours tonight.
00:29:27I'm going out.
00:29:27I just forgot my charger.
00:29:29Awesome, thanks.
00:29:33I'm taking this.
00:29:34Wait, I've been calling you.
00:29:36We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:29:37I told you, I'm busy.
00:29:39Hold on!
00:29:42Amelia!
00:29:43All right, hey, look who's right on time.
00:29:54Nice.
00:29:55Where's Amelia?
00:29:57She's sick.
00:29:59She can't make it.
00:30:01Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:30:02If your fiancé's sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:30:05Yeah, you got to stay home with her.
00:30:07Give her some nice soup.
00:30:09I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:30:12Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better soon.
00:30:14Poor thing.
00:30:16Okay, Dad.
00:30:17See you in the office.
00:30:24Stupid dog walker?
00:30:26Tricking me with her makeover.
00:30:27I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:30:29Hey, it's Mike Lane with Dean Levino.
00:30:39Do you still track people?
00:30:54Wow.
00:30:55Amelia.
00:30:57Hi.
00:30:57You look like you just walked off a runway.
00:31:02Without a dog.
00:31:04Sorry, I don't come to concerts often.
00:31:06I kind of panicked.
00:31:08No worries.
00:31:08I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:31:12Yeah.
00:31:12But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:31:15Talk to the bartender.
00:31:16Wow.
00:31:17The IP treatment.
00:31:19You look like it.
00:31:20Thanks.
00:31:23Hey, lover boy.
00:31:25We're on.
00:31:25Gotta go.
00:31:28Find me in the green room after.
00:31:31Hope you like it.
00:31:32Break a leg.
00:31:33Lovely boy.
00:31:33Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:31:56All I do.
00:31:57You know what I want, babe.
00:32:01You know what I want.
00:32:05Good.
00:32:06Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:32:07Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:32:10One more, please.
00:32:16But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:32:18Okay.
00:32:18Jake, you guys were raised.
00:32:27You really think so?
00:32:30I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:32:32The who?
00:32:34You don't know the strokes.
00:32:36Are they older?
00:32:39I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:32:43It's alright.
00:32:44Lots of stuff to introduce you to.
00:32:47You want some of that a drink?
00:32:48Yeah.
00:32:50So, when did you learn how to play guitar?
00:32:59Since I was 13.
00:33:01Played in bands all through high school and college, but I feel like this one's finally
00:33:05going someplace.
00:33:06That's awesome.
00:33:08And when I get my record deal, I can finally quit my job, focus on music full time.
00:33:13You're going to quit dog walking?
00:33:15I thought you liked it.
00:33:16I do, but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music.
00:33:21I don't even like dogs that much.
00:33:23I'm more of a cat person.
00:33:25A cat person?
00:33:29Who doesn't like dogs?
00:33:31Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci.
00:33:33I don't want to talk about work tonight.
00:33:36I just want to relax.
00:33:38Have a good time.
00:33:40You're beautiful, you know that?
00:33:44I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake.
00:33:46No, I'm not sure.
00:33:47We have nothing in common.
00:33:49Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:33:54The heck.
00:33:55I'm tipsy, and he's cute.
00:33:57Michelangelo had his fun.
00:33:58Now I can have mine.
00:33:59Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:34:16What's going on?
00:34:18That's Michelangelo Dina Levino, the Nepo baby underwear model.
00:34:22He's not.
00:34:23You coming with me, dog walker?
00:34:25Don't make me get the leash.
00:34:26What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:34:28Back off, dude.
00:34:30Back off.
00:34:31Grubby little hipster.
00:34:32She's my fiancée.
00:34:34So that was an engagement ring?
00:34:36Jake, I can explain.
00:34:39Let's go.
00:34:39I'm really sorry, Jake.
00:34:43I'm not, Jake.
00:34:49This is for making me Uber all the way to fucking Silver Lake.
00:34:55And this is for making me listen to Andy.
00:34:56I can't believe you did that.
00:35:03After your high and mighty speech, you're such a hypocrite.
00:35:05Yeah, well, I don't have the paparazzi following me around.
00:35:08Just an Italian-American psycho.
00:35:11I'm not following you around.
00:35:13You know what?
00:35:13I get it.
00:35:14You saw me with Chantel last night, and now you're jealous.
00:35:19Me jealous?
00:35:20Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:35:22Like, I would ever fuck a dog walker.
00:35:25I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick.
00:35:27I have a name.
00:35:29Wait, what are you doing?
00:35:31That is an original.
00:35:32I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:35:34Oh, fine.
00:35:35I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:35:39I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:35:42You're treating me like shit.
00:35:44That's from the Renaissance.
00:35:46You're history's worst nightmare.
00:35:47I tried to make this work with you.
00:35:49We signed a contract.
00:35:50Foreign arranged marriage.
00:35:51Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:35:55You are such a simpleton.
00:35:59Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:36:01Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:36:04I tried to get along with you.
00:36:05You brought this on to yourself.
00:36:06I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:36:08Right back at you.
00:36:10I fucking hate you.
00:36:12I fucking hate you more.
00:36:14I fucking hate you more.
00:36:21I won't get along with you.
00:36:43Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:37:13Where am I?
00:37:16Who's spooning me?
00:37:19Is that Jake?
00:37:21How drunk was I?
00:37:25Michelangelo?
00:37:29Dog Walker.
00:37:31Oh, I forgot we did that last night.
00:37:35Must have been all those free beers.
00:37:39We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:37:42No, we had too many drinks, but just forget it ever happened, if that's what you want.
00:37:47Definitely.
00:37:49Um, I have to go to work.
00:37:54I should get up, too.
00:37:57Oh, my head.
00:37:59There's Pedialine in the fridge.
00:38:00Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:38:03Of course.
00:38:04My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:38:09Well, you look great.
00:38:11Thanks.
00:38:12I don't feel great.
00:38:14The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:38:17But you, on the other hand, are glowing today.
00:38:22What's going on?
00:38:25So, Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:38:29Wait.
00:38:31For the first time?
00:38:32Yeah.
00:38:34We're taking it slow.
00:38:37Michelangelo.
00:38:38The male gigolo.
00:38:39Is taking it slow.
00:38:43Maybe I did misjudge him.
00:38:46And?
00:38:47How was it?
00:38:50Well...
00:38:50Really bad.
00:38:51Right?
00:38:52I knew it.
00:38:53Actually,
00:38:54it was the best sex I ever had.
00:38:56Well, that explains the glow.
00:39:02I am happy for you, sis.
00:39:05Physical chemistry is important.
00:39:07That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:39:10I don't get it.
00:39:11He and I are nothing alike,
00:39:13and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:39:15I feel like an arcade game,
00:39:17and he just keeps getting the high score again and again,
00:39:19and you get the picture.
00:39:23Hey.
00:39:24Opposites attract.
00:39:27I mean,
00:39:28that's why you guys love each other so much.
00:39:31Because you're so different.
00:39:34Something like that.
00:39:42Here it comes.
00:39:43Right on the schedule.
00:39:45Dog walker's in love with me.
00:39:47I'll have to let her down easy.
00:39:49Weird.
00:39:50I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:39:54What was that about?
00:40:04Must be the hangover.
00:40:13Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:40:15Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:40:17Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:40:40And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:40:42Tells me.
00:41:07We should talk about it last night.
00:41:12I'm not very good with words.
00:41:14Me neither.
00:41:15But last night I...
00:41:16You don't have to say anything.
00:41:18We both know it was a mistake.
00:41:20And we can just go back to hating each other.
00:41:23Like nothing ever happened.
00:41:24I don't think you understand it.
00:41:25You just listen to me for a second.
00:41:27You don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:41:30I'm a big girl.
00:41:30I've had a one night stand before.
00:41:33I've never been with someone like you before.
00:41:35Okay, I get it.
00:41:37I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:41:42You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:41:46I know that if you would take back last night, that you would.
00:41:49Frankly, so would I.
00:41:50I mean, you're driving me nuts.
00:41:51You don't understand.
00:41:52Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:41:56I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:41:59Wait, did you just call me Amelia?
00:42:05What happened to Dog Walker?
00:42:08I have a confession to make.
00:42:11Last night, I don't know how, I don't know why,
00:42:16that was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:42:21Really?
00:42:22Do I look like I'm lying?
00:42:24I'm not a good actor.
00:42:26I could even do reality TV.
00:42:27But there is a fire between us, Amelia.
00:42:33Some kind of crazy, cosmic chemistry.
00:42:37You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:42:40Amelia.
00:42:42Please.
00:42:44I know you felt it too.
00:42:51Amelia, please.
00:42:52Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:42:56I felt it too.
00:43:02So why are we fighting it?
00:43:04I've been thinking about you all day.
00:43:07Me too.
00:43:08Me too.
00:43:22So, I set the kitchen on fire.
00:43:44How am I supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball shots on fire?
00:43:48It's not my fault.
00:43:49They should change the name.
00:43:50No wonder they canceled Vanderpump's super yacht.
00:43:56If you think that's funny, just wait until the next episode.
00:43:58The captain gets super drunk off espresso martinis,
00:44:00and he almost sinks the boat.
00:44:07You know, when you're not acting like a complete douchebag,
00:44:11you're not so bad.
00:44:13Thanks?
00:44:15You know, we could actually try this.
00:44:17Hey, if the sex stays this good, I'm open for anything.
00:44:22I'm serious.
00:44:24The wedding's coming up.
00:44:27We could give it a shot.
00:44:29You mean like, you and me.
00:44:31Together, together.
00:44:32Why not?
00:44:34Were you planning on marrying someone else?
00:44:35Oh, Gucci, what's the rush?
00:44:55Oh, hey, Royce.
00:44:58Jake?
00:44:59How's it going?
00:45:01Good.
00:45:02Yeah.
00:45:02Look, the other night was kind of...
00:45:05Crazy.
00:45:06I know.
00:45:07I should have told you about Michelangelo.
00:45:10We were kind of in a fight.
00:45:13I'm sorry for bringing you into this.
00:45:15Is he always like that?
00:45:17So aggressive and controlling?
00:45:19I couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that.
00:45:22He was like a caveman lugging home his woman.
00:45:25Well, I am his woman.
00:45:27He saw us together and he got jealous.
00:45:29And I don't blame him.
00:45:32Oh, my God.
00:45:32Am I actually sticking up for Michelangelo Dinovolino?
00:45:36I didn't mean to pry.
00:45:38I just wanted to make sure everything's okay.
00:45:41I'm here if you need to talk.
00:45:43Thanks, Jake.
00:45:45But I'm engaged.
00:45:47Remember?
00:45:48And the only person I want to talk to is my fiancé.
00:45:51Well, we had a connection.
00:45:53You're a cat person.
00:45:55It never would have worked.
00:45:58Come on, Gucci.
00:45:59Let's go.
00:46:03Cats are awesome.
00:46:04That was a great presentation.
00:46:10The marketing director loved your ideas for the new line.
00:46:13You think so?
00:46:13Ooh.
00:46:14Maybe I'm finally starting to get a hang of this CEO thing.
00:46:18Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:46:19Now, listen.
00:46:20I got to fly to Paris for a few days.
00:46:22You mind watching your little brother for me?
00:46:25Gucci?
00:46:25Sure.
00:46:26But, I mean, your dog's more Amelia's specialty.
00:46:29Yeah, but that's how you impress her.
00:46:31You invite her for a romantic date at the dog park.
00:46:34At the dog park?
00:46:35Mm-hmm.
00:46:36I just texted her.
00:46:37It's all set.
00:46:39Now, go get a lover, boy.
00:46:44So, you just throw it and he brings it back?
00:46:56You've never played fetch before?
00:46:59It's my dad's dog, not mine.
00:47:03Let me try.
00:47:04That's okay.
00:47:05I know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands.
00:47:12Do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:47:15No.
00:47:16I like my work.
00:47:18What's the point of working if you never get a chance to have fun?
00:47:23You're right.
00:47:24I should work less.
00:47:26If nothing else, you're letting me get closer to my little brother.
00:47:30Fetch, Gucci.
00:47:39I've got a big surprise.
00:47:42A surprise?
00:47:43Just wait and see.
00:47:52Grazie, Enzo.
00:47:53Have a good night, Mr. De Novolino.
00:47:54What's that?
00:48:01Special delivery from Masteryone's Italian Deli.
00:48:07But, Gucci, it's your favorite prosciutto.
00:48:11You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:48:15I thought you were off the clock today.
00:48:19Besides, a special occasion.
00:48:20I also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little Chianti into it.
00:48:27I'm kidding.
00:48:28This is for us.
00:48:30Why don't you get us a corkscrew?
00:48:31What else is in the bag?
00:48:33Just some imported Italian ingredients so I can make you a real Italian dinner.
00:48:38You can cook?
00:48:39You can cook.
00:48:50That was so good.
00:48:53I feel like I just went to Italy even though I've never been.
00:48:57How did you do this?
00:48:59I can't cook at all.
00:49:01Making Italian food is one of my favorite things to do.
00:49:03Did you learn in culinary school?
00:49:05No.
00:49:06My mom taught me.
00:49:08Tell me about her.
00:49:10I never told a girl about my mom.
00:49:13Sorry.
00:49:14I don't mean to pray.
00:49:15She passed away when I was 11.
00:49:19Breast cancer.
00:49:21But I have a lot of good memories of her.
00:49:24She grew up in a little village in Tuscany and she taught me everything I know about cooking.
00:49:31We'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing.
00:49:36I still have all of her recipes here.
00:49:40Handwritten in Italian.
00:49:42That's really special.
00:49:45I miss her.
00:49:48This might sound corny but I feel a little closer to her when I make her recipes.
00:49:54It's not corny.
00:49:56But I didn't know you were such a softie.
00:49:58Just don't tell TMZ.
00:50:02What about your parents?
00:50:04My parents died in a car accident when I was 13.
00:50:08It's been me and Betsy ever since.
00:50:11I'm sorry.
00:50:11I just really hope these treatments work.
00:50:15I don't want to lose her too.
00:50:20I'm sorry.
00:50:21Your story made me emotional.
00:50:23I'm gonna go do the dishes.
00:50:25I'll help you.
00:50:26No.
00:50:26No, it's fine.
00:50:27I like doing the dishes.
00:50:29It relaxes me.
00:50:30Good.
00:50:31Because I hate them.
00:50:33Well, then I guess we make a good team.
00:50:34I guess we make a good team.
00:50:39Is it just the wine?
00:50:40Or am I really falling for him?
00:50:43Her.
00:50:45You don't want espresso.
00:50:48It's not for you.
00:50:55Hey.
00:50:57Hey.
00:50:58Do you want an espresso?
00:51:00I just figured out how to make the machine work.
00:51:02No, thank you.
00:51:03You need to have a morning meeting.
00:51:04I'm kind of in a rush.
00:51:05Okay.
00:51:06Well, don't forget Gucci.
00:51:08How could I?
00:51:08Ready, bro?
00:51:12Well, let me fix your tie.
00:51:15What do you know about ties?
00:51:17You wear t-shirts to work.
00:51:19And you wore man thongs two weeks ago.
00:51:22Touché.
00:51:24There you go.
00:51:25Okay, bye.
00:51:26Bye.
00:51:29Love you.
00:51:30Love you too.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:31Bye.
00:51:32Bye.
00:51:32Bye.
00:51:32Bye.
00:51:32Bye.
00:51:32Bye.
00:51:33Bye.
00:51:33Bye.
00:51:33Bye.
00:51:34Bye.
00:51:34Bye.
00:51:34Bye.
00:51:35Bye.
00:51:35Bye.
00:51:36Bye.
00:51:41Sorry.
00:51:42Reflex.
00:51:43I didn't mean to say that.
00:51:44Me neither.
00:51:45Too soon.
00:51:47Talk about it later?
00:51:49Yeah.
00:51:51Okay.
00:51:51Okay.
00:51:52Ugh, could that have been any more awkward?
00:51:55And is Michelangelo really in love with me?
00:52:01Look who's here.
00:52:03Hey, my little guy.
00:52:06Hey, little Gucci.
00:52:08Look at this right here.
00:52:09Huh?
00:52:11Let's try it on.
00:52:13Oh, yeah.
00:52:14Now, here's mine.
00:52:16Right?
00:52:17Just like that.
00:52:18Huh?
00:52:19Yeah.
00:52:19Even got one for Big Brother.
00:52:21Right there.
00:52:23Come to Papa.
00:52:24Yeah, my boy.
00:52:27All right.
00:52:28All right.
00:52:28So, we got to talk about this wedding, right?
00:52:31This is two weeks off.
00:52:33Hollywood Bowl.
00:52:33They're waiting for an answer.
00:52:35And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane.
00:52:38He says the band is free.
00:52:41You like Coldplay, right?
00:52:42Dad, we can't have the wedding at the Hollywood Bowl.
00:52:46Oh.
00:52:46Well, all right.
00:52:48Then we'll book the Magic Castle.
00:52:50How about that?
00:52:51Not too big.
00:52:51Plenty of room for Coldplay, huh?
00:52:54Let's just pump the brakes.
00:52:55We cannot plan a wedding like this.
00:52:58What?
00:52:58Something wrong with Amelia?
00:53:00No.
00:53:02Everything's great.
00:53:03It's better than great, honestly.
00:53:06But we cannot have a big, flashy wedding.
00:53:09I mean, that's our thing.
00:53:11It's not Amelia's thing.
00:53:13I think it'd make her uncomfortable.
00:53:16Wow.
00:53:17I never thought of that.
00:53:19You know, you have a very good point there.
00:53:23I'm very impressed.
00:53:25You've never acted like this with any other woman.
00:53:29I can't say I've ever felt like this with another girl.
00:53:32Sounds like you might be falling in love.
00:53:35Love?
00:53:38Yeah.
00:53:39I don't know.
00:53:41He's so cute.
00:53:43All right, all right.
00:53:44Change of deal.
00:53:46Gonna cancel the Hollywood Bowl, all right?
00:53:48And then we'll have a nice, small, intimate affair,
00:53:51a wedding with Coldplay.
00:53:54No Coldplay, Dad.
00:53:56No Coldplay.
00:53:58So, it's about my cancer treatment.
00:54:07It's not working.
00:54:09I know it.
00:54:10I talked to my doctors yesterday.
00:54:13And I'm cured.
00:54:15What?
00:54:16You're cured?
00:54:18Oh, congratulations.
00:54:22I wasn't expecting it.
00:54:24I didn't think I would be cured in only two sessions.
00:54:26It only took two sessions?
00:54:29I almost had enough in my savings to cover that.
00:54:33Maybe I didn't need the Dina Valino's money.
00:54:36What's wrong, sis?
00:54:37We should be celebrating!
00:54:39I brought Prosecco.
00:54:41No.
00:54:42Yeah.
00:54:43No, I'm good.
00:54:44Yeah.
00:54:45Amelia.
00:54:46I'm your sister.
00:54:48You can tell me anything.
00:54:49Is it Michelangelo?
00:54:53Is everything okay?
00:54:54If that punk pretty boy hurts you,
00:54:57I will take that man thong and give him a wedgie so far up his butt that it will cut him in two.
00:55:03It's not Michelangelo, Betsy.
00:55:07It's me.
00:55:10I have to tell you something.
00:55:11I cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage.
00:55:20What is this, Game of Thrones?
00:55:21It was the only way that I could pay for your treatments.
00:55:24And you know that I would do anything for you.
00:55:28Actually, he's not that bad.
00:55:32I kind of like him.
00:55:33Yeah, babe, that's called Stockholm Syndrome.
00:55:37We need to get you out of there.
00:55:39Betsy, I have real feelings for him.
00:55:44But what about the tabloid stories?
00:55:48You heard what he did to that floozy in Disney World.
00:55:51They banned him for life.
00:55:54You'll never go to Epcot.
00:55:56He's not actually like the stories.
00:55:58Or at least not to me.
00:56:00He's only acting like that to get into your pants, Amelia.
00:56:05If you marry Michelangelo, he will make your life a living hell.
00:56:12What if you meet him?
00:56:14Yeah, meet him.
00:56:17Maybe he'll change your mind.
00:56:18Maybe you'll actually like him.
00:56:20Don't count on it.
00:56:21Please, me, just give him a chance.
00:56:25Fine.
00:56:27Yes.
00:56:28Only one.
00:56:28Yes.
00:56:29You won't regret it.
00:56:33I'm going to go get the Prosecco.
00:56:37You better bring the whole bottle.
00:56:41Thank you for making dinner.
00:56:43Of course.
00:56:44I'm glad she's cancer-free.
00:56:46We need to celebrate.
00:56:49Michelangelo, you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world to me, right?
00:56:55You mean besides me?
00:56:56I'm serious.
00:56:57It's really important to me that you two get along.
00:57:00Have a glass of wine.
00:57:03Tonight's going to be great.
00:57:04It's enormous.
00:57:15Why would anybody need so much room?
00:57:22It's nice to see you too, sis.
00:57:26Nice to finally meet you, Betsy.
00:57:28So, this is the infamous, uh, Michelangelo.
00:57:39How about we start off with a glass of champagne?
00:57:42$96 Dom Perignon?
00:57:44Amelia said that's the year that you were born.
00:57:46Yeah, sorry, I can't drink that fancy stuff.
00:57:49It's worth more than my car.
00:57:51Why would anybody spend that much on a drink?
00:57:53$8.99 at Ralph's.
00:57:57It's delicious.
00:57:59This was made in France.
00:58:01Sorry, can't touch that stuff.
00:58:04So, who wants a drink?
00:58:06Okay.
00:58:06Okay.
00:58:06Okay.
00:58:23You've hardly touched your food.
00:58:30It's a little too rich for me.
00:58:34Mine tastes great.
00:58:37So, Michelangelo, I have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up.
00:58:44You don't mind, do you?
00:58:47Fire away.
00:58:47So, I know you two have been having your, fun.
00:58:54Um, but what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
00:59:00I don't think it's going to.
00:59:04That's cute and all, but what about her career?
00:59:07Are you gonna support her?
00:59:09Or kids, what's your stance on that?
00:59:11Or are you just gonna jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
00:59:15Betsy.
00:59:15Look, I know I have a past, but I'm committed to it.
00:59:22We haven't talked about kids, but I'm open to anything.
00:59:25See, Michelangelo, that's my point.
00:59:27You two are getting married and you barely know each other.
00:59:31We know it all.
00:59:33Easy, Betsy.
00:59:35I just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon.
00:59:38And if you really cared about Amelia, you would give her the time.
00:59:43And what makes you such an expert?
00:59:44I don't see a ring on your finger.
00:59:47Michelangelo.
00:59:48You probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now.
00:59:51It's no wonder Amelia was so uptight when I met her.
00:59:53She gets it from you.
00:59:55Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:59:57You started it.
00:59:58Why don't we all just calm down?
01:00:06Betsy's just looking out for my best interests.
01:00:08No, she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her.
01:00:12That's not fair, Michelangelo.
01:00:14She's not been fair to me since she walked through the door.
01:00:16You're the horniest bastard in Beverly Hills.
01:00:18And you're a frigid, lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy.
01:00:22You know what?
01:00:22You can't talk to Betsy like that.
01:00:24That's my sister.
01:00:25She just survived cancer.
01:00:29That doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house.
01:00:32This is my house too and she can say whatever she wants.
01:00:35Not to me.
01:00:36You know, maybe she should be concerned.
01:00:37I don't like this side of you.
01:00:39See, I told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other,
01:00:42but I guess the contract doesn't allow for that.
01:00:44You told her?
01:00:46She's my sister.
01:00:47I don't care.
01:00:47That violates our agreement.
01:00:49Oh, is that all I am to you?
01:00:51A contractual agreement?
01:00:52Some kind of obligation?
01:00:53It's not what I meant.
01:00:55It came out wrong, Amelia.
01:00:57I love you.
01:00:59You love me?
01:01:00Don't listen to him.
01:01:01He doesn't even know what that means.
01:01:03Shut the fuck up!
01:01:04You know what?
01:01:06Maybe she was right.
01:01:07I shouldn't have signed that contract.
01:01:09It's over.
01:01:14We need to get out of here.
01:01:17I've seen too many true crime documentaries on Netflix
01:01:19to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets.
01:01:25Amelia, I know this is hard to hear,
01:01:29but you did the right thing.
01:01:32You do so much better than him.
01:01:35Yeah.
01:01:36But he isn't a monster.
01:01:38I shouldn't have said that.
01:01:40We can talk about it on the road.
01:01:42Get packing,
01:01:43and if we leave now,
01:01:45we can get to Mexico by dawn.
01:01:46Lay low for a bit.
01:01:47Mexico?
01:01:48Or Canada.
01:01:50Whatever.
01:01:51It's that,
01:01:51or stay here and get sued
01:01:52by the Dino Lavinos.
01:01:55Or worse.
01:01:55I don't think Romulus and Michelangelo would sue us.
01:01:59I mean,
01:01:59I only told you about the contract.
01:02:02It's not like I told the media.
01:02:04You don't know that.
01:02:06We're liabilities.
01:02:08Lose ends.
01:02:09You should listen to more True Crime Podcast.
01:02:15Get rid of that thing.
01:02:17They could be tracking us right now.
01:02:20Yeah, you know,
01:02:21Michelangelo did manage to follow me to the Echoplex the other night.
01:02:24See?
01:02:26He could have a sniper on us.
01:02:32It's Romulus.
01:02:33Hey, Romulus.
01:02:36What?
01:02:37What do you mean Gucci's missing?
01:02:50You came.
01:02:51Against my better judgment.
01:02:55I'm not happy you've been blowing me off.
01:02:57I've just been busy,
01:02:59but it's over with now.
01:03:03You should punish me for straying.
01:03:08You make me sick.
01:03:10I make me sick.
01:03:19Nice.
01:03:21Underwear.
01:03:23It's a great craftsmanship.
01:03:29Okay.
01:03:30Let's get this over with.
01:03:34Is that all you have to say?
01:03:36Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:03:38I'm...
01:03:39Sorry.
01:03:41Chantel.
01:03:41I thought I wanted this.
01:03:46But I don't.
01:03:49I'm not the stud that I used to be.
01:03:50Amelia broke up with me.
01:03:59It feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes.
01:04:05Never in a million years did I think I'd fall for dog walk with my hair.
01:04:08I am fucking devastated.
01:04:11And all I wish is I could take back how I acted.
01:04:14I just wanted to come back to me.
01:04:26Amelia?
01:04:28Hi, Dad.
01:04:29Gucci's gone?
01:04:32I'll be right there.
01:04:37But...
01:04:37I...
01:04:38Romulus.
01:04:41What?
01:04:42Hold on.
01:04:42Well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:04:48We're practically in the house and then all of a sudden he just shot off like a rocket.
01:04:53I've been calling him all night but he won't come back!
01:04:57Well, we can help you find him.
01:04:59Yeah?
01:05:00Right?
01:05:03Good, thanks.
01:05:05Gucci!
01:05:05This better not be a trap.
01:05:07Just come on.
01:05:11Gucci!
01:05:11Gucci!
01:05:13Gucci!
01:05:13Gucci!
01:05:13Hey, hey, hey!
01:05:14Where's Michelangelo?
01:05:15Huh?
01:05:16I thought you were both together.
01:05:17Why isn't he here with you?
01:05:18Oh, um, he's...
01:05:20Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:05:22Where were you?
01:05:23I had to stop for late night delivery at Mastrionis.
01:05:27It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:05:28If this doesn't ring out of hiding, nothing will.
01:05:32Smart move, dude.
01:05:33Here, ladies.
01:05:34Take a piece of this prosciutto here.
01:05:36Yeah, that's it.
01:05:37Yeah, that's it.
01:05:37Take a piece of this.
01:05:40Let me ever, uh...
01:05:41Let me...
01:05:41Let me...
01:05:41At...
01:05:41Let me...
01:05:42Let me...
01:05:56Let me...
01:05:56Let me...
01:05:57Let's...
01:05:57Look at Sean was...
01:05:58We've been looking for him all night long.
01:06:02We're never going to find him
01:06:05Don't give up, Dad
01:06:06He's just off having a little adventure
01:06:07Keep looking, he'll turn up in a few minutes
01:06:09See, they're not going to kill us
01:06:13I do have to admit, though
01:06:15I didn't expect to see this side of him
01:06:18He's really there for his dad
01:06:21His dad's dog
01:06:22So you approve now?
01:06:25They didn't say that
01:06:26Coochie!
01:06:32Coochie, my boy's back
01:06:35Okay, okay
01:06:44I'm a little closer to approving
01:06:48I might have possibly misjudged you
01:07:00A little
01:07:02It's okay
01:07:04Most of what the tabloids publish is true
01:07:07They just leave out part of the story
01:07:09Amelia
01:07:11Can we talk?
01:07:16Please?
01:07:19Amelia
01:07:19Can we talk?
01:07:23Please?
01:07:24Okay
01:07:25Amelia
01:07:34I'm sorry about earlier tonight
01:07:38I shouldn't have attacked your sister
01:07:41And I shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the contract
01:07:44I hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement
01:07:51Thanks for saying that
01:07:54I needed to hear that
01:07:57And I'm sorry for calling you a monster
01:08:01You're not one
01:08:03I'm still learning new things about you
01:08:06Most of them are good
01:08:08I'm happy we signed the contract
01:08:12I'm not
01:08:14You're not
01:08:18What do you mean?
01:08:20Amelia, this might sound crazy but
01:08:23I meant it when I said that I love you
01:08:26And I don't want some silly piece of paper to pee the reason that we stay together
01:08:31I want to know that our love is real
01:08:35Dad
01:08:38What is this, son?
01:08:40I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia
01:08:43Why, son?
01:08:46Because I want to ask her to marry me
01:08:48And not because of some legal obligation
01:08:53But because she wants to
01:08:56Consider our contracts null and void
01:09:04Amelia
01:09:11Where will it be?
01:09:16Will you marry me?
01:09:19Will you marry me?
01:09:22Yes
01:09:23I'll marry you
01:09:24I'll marry you
01:09:26You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world
01:09:42And I'm the happiest dog walker
01:09:45Look at me
01:09:47I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct
01:09:49All right, all right, you two
01:09:53That's enough, all right?
01:09:55We spent this whole night together
01:09:56Come over to my place, all right?
01:09:59We'll have a nice breakfast
01:10:00Italian style, huh?
01:10:02Hopefully it's not too rich for you
01:10:04I think I can get used to it
01:10:06And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:10:10I want to hear from everybody involved
01:10:12Especially Coldplay
01:10:14We're not getting Coldplay, Dad
01:10:16It was worth a try
01:10:18And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows
01:10:43Michelangelo
01:10:44Ah, Amelia
01:10:49Even though we're far from a perfect couple
01:10:53We're perfect together
01:10:56I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time
01:11:01And not just about dogs
01:11:02I don't know how I ever managed anything without you
01:11:07I'm looking forward to your support and counsel
01:11:15As I take over the family business from my father this year
01:11:18And in return, I promise to be patient and a loving husband
01:11:27As you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamed of
01:11:31Amelia, you're the only thing better than free underwear
01:11:40I love you so much
01:11:43I never thought I would end up with a former man-thong model
01:11:53But here we are
01:11:55Michelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell
01:11:59And you've taught me how to live life to the fullest
01:12:01Something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy
01:12:03And although we haven't spent much time together
01:12:11It feels like a lifetime
01:12:13In a good way
01:12:14I know your mom would be proud of you
01:12:17Te amo Michelangelo
01:12:18I love you
01:12:19With the power vested in me by Almighty God
01:12:23And the city of Beverly Hills
01:12:24I now pronounce you husband and wife
01:12:27You may kiss your bride
01:12:29Thanks
01:12:38I'm Betsy
01:12:40Amelia's sister
01:12:41I'm Jake
01:12:43Another dog walker
01:12:45It's crazy
01:12:47You know, given my sister
01:12:48But I've always been more of a cat person
01:12:50Me too
01:12:52Red Dragon
01:13:06Record by
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01:13:17Are both consecutive
01:13:18The South
01:13:19or her husband ever
01:13:19Is it the best
01:13:20Is the best
01:13:21That NOT
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01:13:24zk
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01:13:40Please
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