- yesterday
Matrimoney – Full Movie (2025)
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:07Your place, your mind.
00:00:09I'm not staying in a doghouse.
00:00:12Ahem.
00:00:13Can you guys just keep it down? I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:00:22Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?
00:00:29He's my sister.
00:00:30I don't care. That violates our agreement.
00:00:32How?
00:00:33What the fuck?
00:00:36What?
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Don't worry.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite.
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:00:43I fucking hate you.
00:00:45I fucking hate you more.
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well?
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:01:00Wait.
00:01:01What are you doing?
00:01:02That is an original.
00:01:03I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:01:06Oh, fine.
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:13You're treating me like shit.
00:01:16That's from the Renaissance.
00:01:17You're history's worst nightmare.
00:01:18I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:20We signed a contract.
00:01:21For an arranged marriage.
00:01:23Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:27You are such a simpleton.
00:01:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:01:33Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:01:35I tried to get along with you.
00:01:36You brought this onto yourself.
00:01:37I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:01:39Right back at you.
00:01:40I fucking hate you.
00:01:41I fucking hate you more.
00:01:42I fucking hate you.
00:01:43I fucking hate you more.
00:02:05So, you were arrested.
00:02:09Again.
00:02:12To be fair, we thought I was leaving.
00:02:14We'll just swim there.
00:02:15There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:18It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters.
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I wouldn't have game.
00:02:30Come on, Gucci.
00:02:31Come on.
00:02:33Good boy.
00:02:35Oh.
00:02:40Okay.
00:02:41Come on, Gucci.
00:02:42Let's go.
00:02:43Hey.
00:02:44Amelia.
00:02:45Hey, James.
00:02:50Come on, Gucci.
00:02:51Let's go.
00:02:56You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:03:01It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:03:07The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:10I make my own money.
00:03:11Oh, you see, see.
00:03:12Oh, you see, see.
00:03:14Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:15I am the spokesperson for man thumb.
00:03:18That means free underwear for life.
00:03:20For life.
00:03:22Some parents would be proud.
00:03:23Yeah.
00:03:24Some parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:28You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:32Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:36All right.
00:03:37Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:03:38And don't be late.
00:03:39Bye, Dad.
00:03:40Excuse me.
00:03:42Hello, My Gucci.
00:03:44Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:03:50He needs to settle down, find his space with all of them.
00:03:59How are they going to make your mistakes?
00:04:02Yeah, my Gucci.
00:04:04Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:04:08I used to settle down and find myself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:14Like you, Amelia.
00:04:16Good one, Romulus.
00:04:34These are great.
00:04:35I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:38Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:41No problem.
00:04:42Cool. Let's take five, and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:04:50Hi.
00:04:51I'm Michelangelo.
00:04:53Chantal.
00:04:54Nice to meet you.
00:04:56I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:04:59I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:05:03Hold that thought.
00:05:04Hey, Dad.
00:05:08Where the hell were you?
00:05:11Dad, I'm on a photo shoot.
00:05:12You're supposed to be at the office.
00:05:15Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:05:18I can meet him later.
00:05:19Now, it's two ladies back on the plane again.
00:05:21Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:05:24Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:05:26You've got to stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:05:28You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:05:32You interned.
00:05:33You went to business school.
00:05:35You have potential.
00:05:37But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:05:40Well, you're going to have to prove it.
00:05:41Because so far, I ain't seen the end tape from you.
00:05:45Bye, Dad.
00:05:50Hey.
00:05:51You okay?
00:05:53Yeah.
00:05:55But I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:05:57So, it's a really rare form of cancer.
00:06:17Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:06:20Oh my God.
00:06:21There is an experimental treatment.
00:06:25But it's really expensive.
00:06:26And my insurance doesn't cover it.
00:06:30Don't worry about that.
00:06:32I have money saved.
00:06:34I'll find the rest.
00:06:35We will figure this out, okay?
00:06:37We're going to get through this together.
00:06:40Oh, yeah.
00:06:54Ciao, Gucci.
00:06:56Did she have a good mom?
00:07:01What's wrong?
00:07:07I'm sorry.
00:07:08This is...
00:07:09No, no, forget about it.
00:07:10I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:12The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:14I have a savings for my doggy daycare, my dream, but it's only enough for one treatment, and who knows how many she's going to need.
00:07:26Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After her parents passed, I would do anything for her.
00:07:34Amelia, I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:39You do?
00:07:40Come back tonight, and play something nice.
00:07:47Come on, Becky.
00:07:49Come on.
00:07:51Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:08:03Except for the dog hair.
00:08:04Isabel, come with me.
00:08:08I have someone I want you to meet.
00:08:10Are they from Italy?
00:08:12Yes.
00:08:13Wow.
00:08:13Yes, of course, everything's from Italy here.
00:08:17Well, Amelia, meet Michelangelo on my side.
00:08:21I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday, huh?
00:08:24Mm-hmm.
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:26Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:27I'm a dog walker.
00:08:29Don't be so defensive.
00:08:31I wasn't.
00:08:36Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:40I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:42Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:44That'll be really happy.
00:08:46Hey, arrivederci, huh?
00:08:51Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:01What exactly?
00:09:10How does it look?
00:09:11Not half bad.
00:09:13I mean, it's fine.
00:09:15Whatever.
00:09:19Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:09:22Or not.
00:09:23I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:25You work for my dad.
00:09:26You have to do what I say.
00:09:28You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:30Just a few more pictures.
00:09:32I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:34I don't need Tinder.
00:09:36I'm an underwear model.
00:09:37My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:46Pour me another.
00:09:48I told you, I'm...
00:09:49Now.
00:09:49I don't.
00:09:52Fine.
00:09:59See?
00:10:00Dog walker.
00:10:01That wasn't so hard.
00:10:04What the fuck?
00:10:07This is fucking product.
00:10:13Asshole.
00:10:13You crazy bitch.
00:10:18Amelia.
00:10:19Whoa.
00:10:20What's wrong?
00:10:21I asked her to pour me another drink.
00:10:23And she flipped out.
00:10:25I'm sorry, Romulus.
00:10:26But your son is a prick.
00:10:27I'm going to be leaving.
00:10:28No, no, no.
00:10:28Please.
00:10:28I apologize.
00:10:30My son, he's just immature.
00:10:32All right?
00:10:33And that's why I invited you.
00:10:35Put forward it.
00:10:36Please.
00:10:37All right?
00:10:38Just have a seat.
00:10:39All right?
00:10:40And I promise he'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the night.
00:10:43Won't you, son?
00:10:44So, Amelia needs money to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:10:50Cancer?
00:10:50And you need to settle down and prove that you're worthy of running the family business.
00:10:57Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:01I want the business.
00:11:03I think we can make a deal whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:12Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:11:15No.
00:11:16You two just have to get married, that's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:22Romulus, what are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:29Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:11:33Oh, that's a little bit.
00:11:34Look, you have to grow up before you can run our business.
00:11:37And the best way to do that is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:41We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:46There's something uncommon already.
00:11:48Look, you know,
00:11:49My wife and I, we were opposites.
00:11:52Oh, yeah.
00:11:53We were like pizza and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:57She sure drove me crazy when we first met.
00:11:59Yeah, I know you're probably thinking I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:12:03But I learned a thing or two in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:09Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:11As if.
00:12:12Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:12:14I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life.
00:12:17Amelia, you do want to help your sister, don't you?
00:12:20Well, you'll be able to afford the treatment
00:12:22if you just agree to this arrangement.
00:12:24Come on.
00:12:29What's it going to be?
00:12:34What's it going to be?
00:12:37Fine.
00:12:39I'll do it.
00:12:40For Betsy.
00:12:41Angelo, it's not polite to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:49If you're not going to agree to marry her,
00:12:52then you're going to lose the business.
00:12:55And you're also going to lose your inheritance.
00:12:58What the hell, Dad?
00:13:02Fuck it.
00:13:03Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:04Now, let's just go into the office now.
00:13:09The lorries have already drafted the contract.
00:13:11And, son, we are going to need some champagne.
00:13:15Right, my mom.
00:13:16Yeah, try and make yourself look decent.
00:13:21You will be engaged for a period of 30 days.
00:13:24Followed by a wedding planned by me.
00:13:27And I'll tell you, it's going to be a big one for the ages, too.
00:13:30I hope the Hollywood Bowl's not booked.
00:13:32Anyway, you must move in together immediately
00:13:36to avoid any suspicion, you know.
00:13:39Look, there's nothing wrong with an arranged marriage,
00:13:42but, well, it can't do any good
00:13:44if word got out to the public, right?
00:13:46That's why this has to be our own secret.
00:13:49I hope we agreed.
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:52All right.
00:13:53Sign in.
00:14:02Salute to the new couple.
00:14:15Mmm.
00:14:24So, your place or mine?
00:14:27I'm not staying at a doghouse.
00:14:28Fine.
00:14:30Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:42So, this is Michelangelo's place.
00:14:44It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo museum.
00:14:48Ugh.
00:14:49Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:15:04What was this?
00:15:06Put it in the trash.
00:15:07This isn't trash.
00:15:08These are my sisters.
00:15:09She's an artist.
00:15:10So, put them in your room.
00:15:12I said you could live here, not decorate.
00:15:14Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:15Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:15:17That's man-thong.
00:15:19It's trademarked.
00:15:24Look, I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:26If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back,
00:15:27I'm throwing it all in the fireplace.
00:15:30It's electric.
00:15:36Oh, by the way,
00:15:38this is gonna work.
00:15:40You might want to start wearing that.
00:15:43Gee, thanks.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:47You're getting married?
00:15:54Shh, Betsy.
00:15:56Don't tell the whole world.
00:15:57Sorry, Amelia.
00:15:59It's just...
00:16:00It's not like you.
00:16:02You're saying we're...
00:16:04reserved.
00:16:05Safe.
00:16:07Like I always taught you.
00:16:10Well,
00:16:11things change when you find out your sister has cancer.
00:16:14And besides,
00:16:16Michelangelo offered to help pay for some of your treatments.
00:16:19So,
00:16:19I'm okay with a quick proposal.
00:16:22Michelangelo?
00:16:23The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:25No.
00:16:27Michelangelo...
00:16:28Dino Valeno?
00:16:29Maybe you've heard of him?
00:16:31Michelangelo Dino Valeno?
00:16:33Michelangelo?
00:16:33Shhh.
00:16:38Socialite Animal?
00:16:39How do you, like, start a hundred canceled Bravo shows?
00:16:42How did you even meet?
00:16:44His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:47It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:51He's so...
00:16:52toxic.
00:16:53Speak of the devil.
00:16:57Oh, yeah.
00:16:59You know,
00:17:00that's probably an old issue.
00:17:02This is a doctor's office.
00:17:05Amelia.
00:17:08Betsy Carlisle?
00:17:10Doctor's ready.
00:17:13We'll talk about this later.
00:17:14We're just gonna wet, baby.
00:17:39We're already wet.
00:17:40Where did that come from?
00:17:57Nice place.
00:18:25I love the artwork.
00:18:26Thanks, Marlon.
00:18:27Oh, good taste.
00:18:32No, I'm good.
00:18:34You had plenty at dinner.
00:18:35More for me.
00:18:40You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bedroom.
00:18:56Who are you?
00:18:58Who are you?
00:19:00Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:19:04Whatever.
00:19:07Can you guys just keep it down?
00:19:08I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:11This is my house?
00:19:13We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:15Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:19:17You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:20What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:22He's jealous.
00:19:24Jealous?
00:19:25I'm not jealous!
00:19:29Sweet dreams!
00:19:30I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:39How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:42Even if he is kind of hot.
00:19:43See you later.
00:20:03See you later.
00:20:03And, um, don't worry about last night.
00:20:08Sorry.
00:20:09I had one too many to drink.
00:20:10It won't happen again.
00:20:11You better not.
00:20:12How's the hangover, roomie?
00:20:26Not now.
00:20:27My head's killing me.
00:20:28We need to talk about last night.
00:20:30No.
00:20:30What we need to do is order a three-egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:34I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:37Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:39But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:42And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:45Fine.
00:20:46I'll have her sign an NDA.
00:20:47Just give me my phone.
00:20:48My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:20:52And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:20:56Then neither of us get what we want.
00:20:57Yeah, no shit.
00:20:59I'm serious.
00:21:00Don't screw this up.
00:21:03I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:06I know what I'm doing.
00:21:07Dog walker.
00:21:09And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:12Whenever I want.
00:21:13Wherever I want.
00:21:15Fine.
00:21:16Do whatever you want.
00:21:18I'm sorry.
00:21:20It's a bit harsh.
00:21:21I just really...
00:21:23hung over.
00:21:27That could have gone better.
00:21:32Hey, baby.
00:21:36You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:21:38You're rich now.
00:21:39I know.
00:21:41I like it.
00:21:41Ah, it's good to hear.
00:21:43You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:47Tell me, uh, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:21:51Oh, fine.
00:21:53Yeah.
00:21:53We're still getting to know each other.
00:21:55All right.
00:21:56Well, give him time, all right?
00:21:58Oh, and listen.
00:21:59He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:22:02Look, I...
00:22:02I promise.
00:22:04I wouldn't be so sure.
00:22:05Yeah.
00:22:06You're right.
00:22:08Well, we'll see you later.
00:22:09Yeah.
00:22:10Come on, Gucci.
00:22:11Come on.
00:22:12Bye, Gooch.
00:22:13Hey, Amelia.
00:22:17Hey, Jake.
00:22:20Gucci, no!
00:22:21Royce!
00:22:23Say bad dog, but I'm not actually mad about this.
00:22:27It's to see you up close for once.
00:22:29Yeah.
00:22:30Same here.
00:22:30Okay.
00:22:31Sorry, Gucci's, um, a bit crazy.
00:22:42His whole family, actually.
00:22:44All these rich people are nuts.
00:22:46They should make a reality show.
00:22:48We're all dog owners of Beverly Hills.
00:22:52Do you want to walk together?
00:22:54Let these two get to know each other?
00:22:56Yeah.
00:22:57I'd like to.
00:22:58So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:23:06A couple months.
00:23:08I like it.
00:23:09I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:23:11Barista.
00:23:13Uber driver.
00:23:14Delivery guy.
00:23:16Movie extra?
00:23:17You were in a movie.
00:23:19Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:23:21I was trying to impress you.
00:23:23How about you?
00:23:24How long have you been doing this?
00:23:26I don't know.
00:23:27My whole life, I guess.
00:23:29It started as a summer job, and then I've turned it into my own business.
00:23:33I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:23:35Wow.
00:23:36I guess you really like dogs.
00:23:38Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:23:43If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:23:46My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:23:49Do you want to go?
00:23:50Well, I kind of have to admit, I had a crush on you.
00:23:56You did?
00:23:58Yeah.
00:24:00I still do.
00:24:01He's cute.
00:24:05I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:24:08Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:24:12I'd love to go to the concert.
00:24:17Hell yeah.
00:24:19I mean, uh, regular.
00:24:21Yeah.
00:24:21I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:24:28I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:24:32Hey, what's your ring?
00:24:34Um, it's just a class ring from high school.
00:24:41Looks pretty big.
00:24:42It was a big school.
00:24:44Public schools.
00:24:46Am I right?
00:24:50I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:24:55Me?
00:24:56Engaged?
00:24:56No.
00:24:57Are you kidding?
00:24:58I'm 24.
00:24:59I'm practically still a baby.
00:25:00I mean, I should be wearing diapers, crawling around, drooling.
00:25:05Nope.
00:25:06Single and ready to mingle.
00:25:08Okay.
00:25:12Royce pooped.
00:25:13I should pick it up.
00:25:15Where?
00:25:15I don't see it.
00:25:16Just over there.
00:25:19Come on.
00:25:24Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:25:26Of course.
00:25:27It's an office.
00:25:28You want to be CEO, you've got to look the part.
00:25:31You mean like you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:25:36Very funny.
00:25:37You know I'm retiring next year.
00:25:38Yes, I know.
00:25:39Yeah.
00:25:39That means you've got to get up to speed rapidamente.
00:25:42So today you're going to be my shadow, you'll be my extra hands, and we've got a lot to do.
00:25:46Can I get Starbucks first?
00:25:47Fuck no.
00:25:49Come on, Dad.
00:25:49Okay.
00:25:51Okay.
00:25:52How?
00:25:59Oh my goodness.
00:26:04Are you okay?
00:26:05Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:26:07You're engaged, remember?
00:26:15And this is our new palette.
00:26:18It's Matt's collection.
00:26:20He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:26:24But yeah, that's the presentation for me, Michelangelo.
00:26:29What, Dad?
00:26:39What a day, Dad.
00:26:41It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:26:42Look at you.
00:26:43You got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:26:47Just stick with it, will you, kid?
00:26:49Hard work does pay off.
00:26:51Let me just look at Amelia.
00:26:53What about her?
00:26:54She comes from nothing, son.
00:26:56Nobody taught her how to run a business, but she just worked hard, and now, well, now sharing
00:27:01some money doing what she loves.
00:27:03I guess that's impressive.
00:27:05Yeah, see.
00:27:06See, it is.
00:27:07I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:27:10I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:27:18Break's over.
00:27:26Well, not too bad, huh?
00:27:36One day down.
00:27:38Forty more years to go.
00:27:40Hey, hey, hey.
00:27:42Now, this is the time when you go home with Amelia, you talk about the day's work, raise
00:27:49you closer together, comfort each other, just like your mom and I used to do.
00:27:54You know, I'm thinking, it's time for the world to meet Amelia tonight.
00:28:03Tonight?
00:28:05Shit.
00:28:06When am I going to tell Chantel?
00:28:07I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight.
00:28:09The L.A. Zoo fundraiser.
00:28:11Lights, camera, red carpet.
00:28:13Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition to the Dino Verdeena app.
00:28:19Don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:28:21I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:28:23What's the matter?
00:28:25You're getting along, aren't you?
00:28:27Yeah, yeah.
00:28:28We're just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:28:32All right, so it's all settled.
00:28:33I'll see you at 8 o'clock tonight in the limo, and don't be late.
00:28:41Why, Dad?
00:28:41So, remind me, why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:28:57Because I want to do something nice for my favorite big sister.
00:29:02And?
00:29:04And, you know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:29:08But, since I'm part of the Dino Levino family now, I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:29:12You better not let that hair down.
00:29:15Sorry.
00:29:16Just an expression.
00:29:24How's it going in there?
00:29:25I'm coming out.
00:29:26Is that bad?
00:29:38I've never seen a dog walker look this hot.
00:29:43Buy that dress.
00:29:45ASAP.
00:29:49Leave me alone, party boy.
00:29:51I've got my own function tonight.
00:30:21What are you looking at?
00:30:30You're spilling all over yourself.
00:30:31Thanks.
00:30:32Um, I...
00:30:34Did you forget my name?
00:30:37No, it's just...
00:30:39Something different.
00:30:41Did you change your hair?
00:30:42Why do you care?
00:30:44The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:30:46I'm going out.
00:30:46I just forgot my charger.
00:30:48Awesome, thanks.
00:30:51I'm taking this.
00:30:53Wait, I've been calling you.
00:30:55We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:30:56I told you, I'm busy.
00:30:58Hold on!
00:31:01Amelia!
00:31:10All right, hey.
00:31:11Look who's right on time.
00:31:12Nice.
00:31:14Where's Amelia?
00:31:16She's sick.
00:31:18She can't make it.
00:31:19Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:31:20If your fiancée's sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:31:24Yeah, you gotta stay home with her.
00:31:26Give her some...
00:31:27Give her some nice soup.
00:31:29I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:31:31Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better soon.
00:31:33Poor thing.
00:31:35Okay, Dad.
00:31:36See you in the office.
00:31:37Stupid dog walker?
00:31:45Tricking me with her makeover.
00:31:46I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:31:55Hey.
00:31:56It's Michael Langlo, Dean Levino.
00:31:58Do you still track people?
00:31:59Do you still track people?
00:31:59And then?
00:32:00I'll teach her to mess with me.
00:32:01I'll teach her to the next one.
00:32:02So...
00:32:03Wow.
00:32:16Amelia.
00:32:17Hi.
00:32:19You look like you just walked off a runway.
00:32:22Without a dog.
00:32:24Sorry.
00:32:25I don't come to concerts often.
00:32:26I kind of panicked.
00:32:28No worries.
00:32:28I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:32:32Yeah.
00:32:32But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:32:35Talk to the bartender.
00:32:36Wow.
00:32:37The epic treatment.
00:32:38You look like one.
00:32:40Thanks, Jake.
00:32:43Hey, lover boy.
00:32:45We're on.
00:32:47Gotta go.
00:32:48Find me in the green room after.
00:32:51Hope you like it.
00:32:52Break a leg, lover boy.
00:32:57Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:33:25Good.
00:33:25Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:33:27Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:33:30One more, please.
00:33:36But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:33:45Jake, you guys are great.
00:33:49You really think so?
00:33:51I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:33:53The who?
00:33:53You don't know the strokes.
00:33:59Are they older?
00:34:01I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:34:03It's all right.
00:34:05Lots of stuff to introduce you, too.
00:34:08You want some of them to drink?
00:34:10Yeah.
00:34:11So, when did you learn how to play guitar?
00:34:21Since I was 13.
00:34:23Played in bands all through high school and college, but I feel like this one's finally going someplace.
00:34:27That's awesome.
00:34:28That's awesome.
00:34:29And when I get my record deal, I can fully quit my job, focus on music full time.
00:34:34You're going to quit dog walking?
00:34:36I thought you liked it.
00:34:39I do, but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music.
00:34:42I don't even like dogs that much.
00:34:44I'm more of a cat person.
00:34:45A cat person?
00:34:50Who doesn't like dogs?
00:34:52Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci.
00:34:55I don't want to talk about work tonight.
00:34:57I just want to relax.
00:34:59Have a good time.
00:35:01You're beautiful, you know that?
00:35:05I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake.
00:35:08Now I'm not sure.
00:35:09We have nothing in common.
00:35:11Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:35:15What the heck?
00:35:17I'm tipsy, and he's cute.
00:35:19Michelangelo had his fun.
00:35:21Now I can have mine.
00:35:35Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:35:39What's going on?
00:35:40That's Michelangelo Dina Levino, the Nepo Baby underwear model.
00:35:44He's not.
00:35:46You coming with me, dog walker?
00:35:48Don't make me get the leash.
00:35:49What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:35:51Back off, dude.
00:35:52Back off.
00:35:53Grubby little hipster.
00:35:55She's my fiancée.
00:35:57So that was an engagement ring?
00:35:59Jake, I can explain.
00:36:01Let's go.
00:36:04I'm really sorry, Jake.
00:36:05I'm not, Jake.
00:36:06This is for making me uber all the way to fucking sober, Mike.
00:36:17And this is for making me listen to Andy.
00:36:19I can't believe you did that.
00:36:26After your high and mighty speech?
00:36:27You're such a hypocrite.
00:36:29Yeah, well, I don't have the paparazzi following me around.
00:36:31Just an Italian-American psycho.
00:36:33I'm not following you around.
00:36:36You know what?
00:36:37I get it.
00:36:38You saw me with Chantel last night, and now you're jealous.
00:36:41Oh, me jealous?
00:36:43Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:36:45Like, I would ever fuck a dog walker.
00:36:48I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick.
00:36:50I have a name.
00:36:53Wait, what are you doing?
00:36:54That is an original.
00:36:55I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:36:57Oh, fine.
00:36:59I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:37:02I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:37:05You're treating me like shit.
00:37:08That's from the Renaissance.
00:37:09You're history's worst nightmare.
00:37:11I tried to make this work with you.
00:37:12We signed a contract.
00:37:13Foreign arranged marriage.
00:37:15Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:37:19You are such a simpleton.
00:37:22Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:37:25Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:37:27I tried to get along with you.
00:37:28You brought this on to yourself.
00:37:30I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:37:32Right back at you.
00:37:33I fucking hate you.
00:37:35I fucking hate you more.
00:37:45I hate you more.
00:37:45I don't know.
00:37:46I don't care.
00:37:47I don't care.
00:37:47It's my favorite.
00:37:48I don't care.
00:37:49I don't know.
00:37:49I don't care.
00:37:50I don't care.
00:37:51I don't care.
00:37:51I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:37:52It's really good to have been inside my heart
00:37:56Wish I didn't get it, but what do you want to say?
00:38:02What do you want to say?
00:38:06I want to say
00:38:10I want to say
00:38:12I want to say
00:38:14I want to say
00:38:16I want to say
00:38:18Where am I?
00:38:42Who's spooning me?
00:38:44Is that Jake?
00:38:46How drunk was I?
00:38:54Michelangelo?
00:38:56Dog Walker
00:38:58I forgot we did that last night
00:39:02Must have been all those free beers
00:39:04We don't have to talk about this
00:39:08We had too many drinks
00:39:10Just forget it ever happened
00:39:12If that's what you want
00:39:14Definitely
00:39:16Um
00:39:18I have to go to work
00:39:20I should get up too
00:39:22Oh my head
00:39:24There's Pedialo in the fridge
00:39:28Thanks for coming today sis
00:39:30Of course
00:39:32My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise
00:39:36Well you look great
00:39:38Thanks
00:39:40I don't feel great
00:39:42The treatment's taking a lot out of me
00:39:44You
00:39:46You on the other hand
00:39:48Are glowing today
00:39:50What's going on?
00:39:52So
00:39:54Michelangelo and I had sex last night
00:39:56Wait
00:39:58For the first time?
00:40:00Yeah
00:40:02We're taking it slow
00:40:04Michelangelo
00:40:06Taking it slow
00:40:08Maybe I did misjudge him
00:40:10And
00:40:12How was it?
00:40:14Well
00:40:16Really bad
00:40:18Right?
00:40:19I knew it
00:40:20Actually
00:40:22It was the best sex I ever had
00:40:24Well
00:40:26That explains the glow
00:40:28I
00:40:30I am happy for you sis
00:40:32Physical chemistry is important
00:40:34That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about
00:40:36I don't get it
00:40:38He and I are nothing alike
00:40:40And yet he knows how to push all of my buttons
00:40:42I feel like
00:40:43Like an arcade game
00:40:44And he just keeps getting the high score
00:40:45Again and again
00:40:46And
00:40:48You get the picture
00:40:50Hey
00:40:52Opposites attract
00:40:54I mean
00:40:56That's why you guys love each other so much
00:40:58Cause you're so different
00:41:00Something like that
00:41:10Here comes
00:41:11Right on the schedule
00:41:12Dog walkers in love with me
00:41:14I'll have to let her down easy
00:41:16Weird
00:41:18I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning
00:41:20What was that about?
00:41:32Must be the hangover
00:41:42Hey I'd like to hang out tonight
00:41:44Maybe we can finish what we started last time
00:41:50Hey
00:41:58Hey
00:41:59Unfortunately
00:42:00Something came up
00:42:01I
00:42:02I can't make it tonight
00:42:06Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:08And why hasn't she
00:42:10Texted me yet?
00:42:20Hey
00:42:34Hi
00:42:36We should talk
00:42:37We should talk
00:42:38About Leslie
00:42:42I'm not very good with words
00:42:43Me neither
00:42:44But
00:42:45Last night I
00:42:46You don't have to say anything
00:42:47We both know it was a mistake
00:42:49And we can just
00:42:50Go back to hating each other
00:42:51Like nothing ever happened
00:42:53I don't think you understand it
00:42:54You just
00:42:55Listen to me for a second
00:42:56Look
00:42:57You don't have to worry about me catching feelings
00:42:58I'm a big girl
00:42:59I've
00:43:00Had a one night stand before
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before
00:43:04Okay
00:43:05I get it
00:43:06I'm not one of your
00:43:07Your
00:43:08Models
00:43:09Or your
00:43:10Your D-list actresses
00:43:11You don't have to give me some
00:43:12Big speech about letting me down easily
00:43:14I know that if you would take back last night
00:43:16That you would
00:43:17I mean
00:43:18Frankly so would I
00:43:19I mean
00:43:20You're driving me nuts
00:43:21You don't understand
00:43:22Let's
00:43:23Let's get some takeout
00:43:24And figure this thing out
00:43:25I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me
00:43:29Wait
00:43:30Did you just call me Amelia?
00:43:34What happened to Dog Walker?
00:43:36I have a confession to make
00:43:42Last night
00:43:44I don't know how
00:43:45I don't know why
00:43:47That was the best sex I've ever had in my life
00:43:52Really?
00:43:53Do I look like I'm lying?
00:43:55I'm not a good actor
00:43:57I could even do reality TV
00:43:58But
00:44:00There is
00:44:01A fire
00:44:02Between us Amelia
00:44:03Some kind of crazy
00:44:05Cosmic chemistry
00:44:08You sound like you're
00:44:10Reading a horoscope
00:44:11Amelia
00:44:13Please
00:44:15I know you felt it too
00:44:22Amelia
00:44:23Please
00:44:24Don't act like you didn't feel it too
00:44:27I felt it too
00:44:33So why are we fighting it?
00:44:35I've been thinking about you all day
00:44:37Me too
00:44:38Me too
00:45:08So
00:45:13I set the kitchen on fire?
00:45:15How am I supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball shots on fire?
00:45:20It's not my fault
00:45:21They should change the name
00:45:24No wonder they cancelled Vanderpump's super yacht
00:45:27If you think that's funny, just wait till the next episode
00:45:30The captain gets super drunk off espresso martinis
00:45:32And he almost sinks the boat
00:45:33He sinks the boat
00:45:39You know, when you're not acting like a complete douchebag
00:45:43You're not so bad
00:45:45Thanks?
00:45:47You know, we could actually try this
00:45:51Hey, if the sex stays this good, I'm open for anything
00:45:55I'm serious
00:45:57The wedding's coming up
00:45:59We could give it a shot
00:46:00You mean like
00:46:02You and me
00:46:03Together together
00:46:05Why not?
00:46:06Were you planning on marrying someone else?
00:46:21Oh, Gucci, what's the rush?
00:46:23Oh
00:46:29Hey, Royce
00:46:31Jake
00:46:33How's it going?
00:46:35Good, yeah
00:46:37Look, the other night was kinda
00:46:39Crazy, I know
00:46:41I should've told you about Michelangelo
00:46:43We were kind of in a fight
00:46:46I'm sorry for bringing you into this
00:46:48Is he always like that?
00:46:50So aggressive and controlling?
00:46:51I couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that
00:46:55He was like a caveman lugging home his woman
00:46:58Well, I am his woman
00:47:00He saw us together and he got jealous
00:47:03And I don't blame him
00:47:05Oh my god, am I actually sticking up for Michelangelo Dinovolino?
00:47:10I didn't mean to pry
00:47:12Just wanted to make sure everything's okay
00:47:14I'm here if you need to talk
00:47:16Thanks, Jake, but I'm engaged
00:47:19I'm engaged
00:47:20Remember?
00:47:22And the only person I wanna talk to is my fiance
00:47:25I thought we had a connection
00:47:27You're a cat person
00:47:29It never would've worked
00:47:31Come on, Gucci
00:47:32Let's go
00:47:36Cats are awesome
00:47:37Wow
00:47:40That was a great presentation
00:47:44The marketing director loved your ideas for the new line
00:47:47You think so?
00:47:49Maybe I'm finally starting to get a hang of this CEO thing
00:47:52Oh yeah, yeah, now listen
00:47:54I gotta fly to Paris for a few days
00:47:56You mind watching your little brother for me?
00:47:59Gucci? Sure
00:48:00But I mean, you know, dogs are more Amelia's specialty
00:48:03Yeah, but that's how you impress her
00:48:05You invite her for a romantic date at the dog park
00:48:09At the dog park?
00:48:10Mm-hmm
00:48:11I just texted her, it's all set
00:48:13Now...
00:48:15Go get her, lover boy
00:48:16Heh heh heh
00:48:26So...
00:48:28You just throw it and he brings it back?
00:48:30You've never played fetch before?
00:48:32It's...
00:48:34It's my dad's dog, not mine
00:48:37Let me try
00:48:39That's okay
00:48:40I know you don't wanna touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands
00:48:43Do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:48:49No
00:48:51I like my work
00:48:53What's the point of working if you never get a chance to...
00:48:56Have fun?
00:48:58You're right, I should work less
00:49:01If nothing else
00:49:03You're letting me get closer to my little brother
00:49:08Fetch Gucci
00:49:13I've got a big surprise
00:49:16A surprise?
00:49:18Just wait and see
00:49:27Grazie, Enzo
00:49:28Have a good night, Mr. Dino Bellino
00:49:35What's that?
00:49:37Special delivery from Masterione's Italian Deli
00:49:40The Gucci?
00:49:44It's your favorite prosciutto
00:49:47You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:49:50I thought you were...
00:49:52Off the clock today
00:49:54Besides, a special occasion
00:49:57I also thought we could use his water bowl
00:50:00To pour a little Chianti into it
00:50:02I'm kidding
00:50:04This is for us
00:50:05Why don't you get us a corkscrew?
00:50:07What else is in the bag?
00:50:08Just some...
00:50:09Imported Italian ingredients
00:50:11So I can make you a real Italian dinner
00:50:13You can cook?
00:50:14That was so good
00:50:29I feel like I just went to Italy even though I've never been
00:50:33How did you do this? I can't cook at all
00:50:37Making Italian food is one of my favorite things to do
00:50:39Did you learn in culinary school?
00:50:42No, my mom taught me
00:50:44Tell me about her
00:50:46I've never told a girl about my mom
00:50:49Sorry, I don't mean to pray
00:50:52She passed away when I was 11
00:50:55Breast cancer
00:50:57But I have a lot of good memories of her
00:50:59She grew up in a little village in Tuscany
00:51:03She taught me everything I know about cooking
00:51:06We'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing
00:51:12I still have all of her recipes here
00:51:16Handwritten in Italian
00:51:18That's really special
00:51:20I miss her
00:51:24This might sound corny, but
00:51:27I feel a little closer to her when I make her recipes
00:51:30It's not corny
00:51:32But I didn't know you were such a softy
00:51:35Just don't tell TMZ
00:51:37What about your parents?
00:51:40My parents died in a car accident
00:51:43When I was 13
00:51:45It's been me and Betsy ever since
00:51:47I'm sorry
00:51:49I just really hope these treatments work
00:51:54I don't want to lose her too
00:51:57I'm sorry, your story made me emotional
00:52:00I'm gonna go do the dishes
00:52:02I'll help you
00:52:03No, no it's fine
00:52:04I like doing the dishes
00:52:06It relaxes me
00:52:07Good
00:52:08Cause I hate them
00:52:10Well then I guess we make a good team
00:52:16Is it just the wine?
00:52:18Or am I really falling for...
00:52:20Him?
00:52:21Her
00:52:24You don't want espresso
00:52:34Hey
00:52:35Do you want an espresso?
00:52:38I just figured out how to make the machine work
00:52:40No thank you
00:52:41You need to have a morning meeting
00:52:43I'm kind of in a rush
00:52:44Okay, well don't forget Gucci
00:52:46How could I?
00:52:48Ready bro?
00:52:50Well let me fix your tie
00:52:53What do you know about ties?
00:52:55You wear t-shirts to work
00:52:56And you wore man thongs two weeks ago
00:52:59Touché
00:53:01There you go
00:53:03Okay, bye
00:53:04Bye
00:53:07Love you
00:53:08Love you too
00:53:09Sorry
00:53:19Reflex, I didn't mean to say that
00:53:22Me neither, too soon
00:53:24Talk about it later?
00:53:27Yeah
00:53:29Okay
00:53:31Could that have been any more awkward?
00:53:33And is Michelangelo really in love with me?
00:53:35Look who's here
00:53:37Hey
00:53:39My little guy
00:53:41Hey little Gucci
00:53:43Look at this right here
00:53:45Let's try one
00:53:47Oh yeah, now here's mine
00:53:49Just like that, huh?
00:53:50Yeah
00:53:51Even got one for Big Brother
00:53:52Right there
00:53:54Come to Papa
00:53:55Yes, my boy
00:53:57All right, all right
00:53:58So, we gotta talk about this wedding, right?
00:53:59This is two weeks off
00:54:00Hollywood Bowl
00:54:01They're waiting for an answer
00:54:03And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane
00:54:05He says the band is free
00:54:07And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane
00:54:09He says the band is free
00:54:11And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane
00:54:13He says the band is free
00:54:15You like Coldplay, right?
00:54:16Dad, we can't have the wedding at the Hollywood Bowl
00:54:18Oh
00:54:20Well, all right, then we'll book the Magic Castle
00:54:22How about that?
00:54:23Not too big, plenty of room for Coldplay, huh?
00:54:25Dad, let's just pump the brakes
00:54:27We cannot plan a wedding like this
00:54:29What, something wrong with Amelia?
00:54:31No, everything's great
00:54:33It's a good thing
00:54:35It's a good thing
00:54:36It's a good thing
00:54:38It's a good thing
00:54:39It's a good thing
00:54:40Everything is great
00:54:42It's better than great, honestly
00:54:45But we cannot have a big, flashy wedding
00:54:49That's our thing
00:54:51It's not Amelia's thing
00:54:53I think it'd make her uncomfortable
00:54:55Wow, I never thought of that
00:54:58You know, you have a very good point there
00:55:01I'm very impressed
00:55:04You've never acted like this
00:55:06With any other woman
00:55:07I can't say I've ever felt like this with another girl
00:55:11Sounds like you might be falling in love
00:55:14Love?
00:55:16Yeah, love
00:55:18I don't know
00:55:20He's cute
00:55:22All right, all right
00:55:24Change the deal
00:55:26Gonna cancel the Hollywood Bowl, all right?
00:55:28And then we'll have a nice, small, intimate affair
00:55:30A wedding with Coldplay
00:55:33No Coldplay, Dad
00:55:35No Coldplay
00:55:43So...
00:55:45It's about my cancer treatment
00:55:47It's not working
00:55:49I know it
00:55:51I talked to my doctors yesterday
00:55:53And I'm cured
00:55:55What?
00:55:57You're cured?
00:55:59Congratulations
00:56:01Thank you
00:56:02I wasn't expecting it
00:56:04I didn't think I would be cured in only two sessions
00:56:07It only took two sessions?
00:56:10I almost had enough in my savings to cover that
00:56:13Maybe I didn't need the Dina Valino's money
00:56:16What's wrong, sis?
00:56:18We should be celebrating!
00:56:20I brought Prosecco
00:56:22No, yeah...
00:56:24No, I'm good
00:56:25Amelia
00:56:27I'm your sister
00:56:29You can tell me anything
00:56:31Is it Michelangelo?
00:56:33Is everything okay?
00:56:35If that punk, pretty boy hurts you
00:56:37I will take that man thong
00:56:39And give him a wedgie so far up his butt
00:56:41That it will cut him in two
00:56:43It's not Michelangelo, Betsy
00:56:48It's me
00:56:50I have to tell you something
00:56:55I cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage
00:57:01What is this, Game of Thrones?
00:57:03It was the only way that I could pay for your treatments
00:57:06And you know that I would do anything for you
00:57:08Actually, he's not that bad
00:57:12I kinda like him
00:57:15Yeah, babe, that's called Stockholm Syndrome
00:57:18We need to get you out of there
00:57:21Betsy, I have real feelings for him
00:57:25But...
00:57:27What about the tabloid stories?
00:57:30You heard what he did to that floozy in Disney World
00:57:33They banned him for life
00:57:35You'll never go to Epcot
00:57:37He's not actually like the stories
00:57:40Or at least not to me
00:57:42He's only acting like that to get into your pants, Amelia
00:57:45Hans, Amelia
00:57:47If you marry Michelangelo
00:57:50He will make your life a living hell
00:57:53What if you meet him?
00:57:55Yeah
00:57:57Meet him
00:57:58Maybe he'll change your mind
00:58:00Maybe you'll actually like him
00:58:01Don't count on it
00:58:03Please, me
00:58:05Just give him a chance
00:58:07Fine
00:58:09Only one
00:58:10Yes
00:58:11You won't regret it
00:58:14I'm gonna go get the Prosecco
00:58:18You better bring the whole bottle
00:58:23Thank you for making dinner
00:58:25Of course
00:58:26I'm glad she's cancer free
00:58:28We need to celebrate
00:58:32Michelangelo, you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world to me, right?
00:58:37You mean besides me?
00:58:38I'm serious
00:58:40It's really important to me that you two get along
00:58:42Have a glass of wine
00:58:45Tonight's gonna be great
00:58:47It's enormous
00:59:00Why would anybody need so much room?
00:59:03It's nice to see you too, sis
00:59:09Nice to finally meet you, Betsy
00:59:12Hmm
00:59:14So, this is the infamous, uh, Michelangelo
00:59:22How about we start off with a glass of champagne?
00:59:2596 Dom Perignon?
00:59:26Amelia said that's the year that you were born
00:59:28Yeah, sorry I can't drink that fancy stuff
00:59:31It's worth more than my car
00:59:33Why would anybody spend that much on a drink?
00:59:38$8.99 at Ralph's
00:59:40It's delicious
00:59:42This was made in France
00:59:44Sorry, can't touch that stuff
00:59:46So, who wants a drink?
00:59:48Who wants a drink?
01:00:10You've hardly touched your food
01:00:11It's a little too rich for me
01:00:15Mine tastes great
01:00:17So, Michelangelo, I have some big sister questions to ask about the prenuptials coming up
01:00:27You don't mind, do you?
01:00:29Fire away
01:00:30Fire away
01:00:32So, I know you two have been having your...
01:00:35Fun
01:00:37Um, but...
01:00:39What's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
01:00:44I don't think it's going to
01:00:46That's cute and all, but...
01:00:49What about her career? Are you gonna support her?
01:00:52Or kids, what's your stance on that?
01:00:54Or are you just gonna jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
01:00:58Betsy!
01:01:00Look...
01:01:01I know I have a past
01:01:03But...
01:01:04I'm committed to it
01:01:06We haven't talked about kids, but...
01:01:07I'm open to anything
01:01:09See, Michelangelo, that's my point
01:01:11You two are getting married and you barely know each other
01:01:15We know it all
01:01:17Easy, Betsy
01:01:19I just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon
01:01:22And if you really cared about Amelia, you would give her the time
01:01:25And what makes you such an expert?
01:01:28I don't see a ring on your finger
01:01:30Michelangelo
01:01:32You probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now
01:01:34It's no wonder Amelia was so uptight when I met her
01:01:36She gets it from you
01:01:38Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
01:01:41You started it
01:01:42Why don't we all just... calm down?
01:01:50Betsy's just looking out for my best interests
01:01:53No, she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her
01:01:57That's not fair, Michelangelo
01:01:59She's not been fair to me since she walked through the door
01:02:01You're the horniest bastard in Beverly Hills
01:02:02And you're a frigid, lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy
01:02:06You know what? You can't talk to Betsy like that
01:02:08That's my sister, she just survived cancer
01:02:13That doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house
01:02:17This is my house too and she can say whatever she wants
01:02:19Not to me!
01:02:21You know, maybe she should be concerned, I don't like this side of you
01:02:23See, I told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other
01:02:26But I guess the contract doesn't allow for that
01:02:29You told her?
01:02:30She's my sister
01:02:31I don't care, that violates our agreement
01:02:33Oh, is that all I am to you?
01:02:35A contractual agreement? Some kind of obligation?
01:02:38That's not what I meant
01:02:39It came out wrong, Amelia
01:02:41I love you
01:02:43You love me?
01:02:45Don't listen to him, he doesn't even know what that means
01:02:47Shut the fuck up!
01:02:49You know what? Maybe she was right
01:02:52I shouldn't have signed that contract, it's over
01:02:53It's over
01:02:59We need to get out of here
01:03:02I've seen too many true crime documentaries on Netflix to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets
01:03:07Amelia, I know this is hard to hear, but you did the right thing
01:03:17You do so much better than him
01:03:20Yeah, but he isn't a monster, I shouldn't have said that
01:03:24We can talk about it on the road
01:03:27Get packing, and if we leave now, we can get to Mexico by dawn, lay low for a bit
01:03:32Mexico?
01:03:34Or Canada, whatever
01:03:36It's that, or stay here and get sued by the Dino Levinos
01:03:40Or worse
01:03:41I don't think Romulus and Michelangelo would sue us
01:03:44I mean, I only told you about the contract, it's not like I told the media
01:03:49You don't know that
01:03:51We're liabilities, loose ends
01:03:55You should listen to more True Kind Podcast
01:04:00Get rid of that thing
01:04:03They could be tracking us right now
01:04:06Yeah, you know, Michelangelo did manage to follow me to the Echoplex the other day
01:04:10See?
01:04:12He could have a sniper on us
01:04:17It's Romulus
01:04:19Hey Romulus
01:04:21What?
01:04:23What do you mean Gucci's missing?
01:04:36You came
01:04:39Against my better judgement
01:04:42I'm not happy you've been blowing me off
01:04:44I've just been busy, but
01:04:46It's over with now
01:04:49You should punish me for straying
01:04:53You make me sick
01:04:56I make me sick
01:04:58Nice underwear
01:05:00It's a great craftsmanship
01:05:11Okay, let's get this over with
01:05:18Is that all you have to say?
01:05:21Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:05:26I'm sorry, Chantel
01:05:30I thought I wanted this
01:05:33But I don't
01:05:35I'm not the stud that I used to be
01:05:37Amelia broke up with me
01:05:43It feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes
01:05:50Never in a million years did I think I'd fall for a dog walk with my hair
01:05:54I am fucking devastated
01:05:57And all her wishes I could take back how I acted
01:06:01And just wanted to come back to me
01:06:03Amelia?
01:06:14Hi dad
01:06:16Gucci's gone?
01:06:19I'll be right there
01:06:20I'll be right there
01:06:30Romulus
01:06:32What?
01:06:34I only had him off the leash for a second, you know
01:06:37We're practically in the house and then all of a sudden
01:06:40He just shot off like a rocket
01:06:42I've been calling him all night but he won't come back
01:06:45Well, we can help you find him
01:06:48Yeah?
01:06:49Right?
01:06:51Good, thanks
01:06:53Gucci!
01:06:54This better not be a trap
01:06:56Just come on
01:06:59Gucci!
01:07:00Gucci!
01:07:02Hey, hey, hey, hey! Where's Michelangelo?
01:07:04Huh? I thought you were both together
01:07:05Why isn't he here with you?
01:07:07Oh, um, he's...
01:07:09Sorry, I'm late dad
01:07:11Where were you?
01:07:12I had to stop for late night delivery at Mastrionis
01:07:15It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto
01:07:17This doesn't ring out of hiding
01:07:19Nothing will
01:07:21Smart move, kid
01:07:22Here, ladies
01:07:23Take a piece of this prosciutto
01:07:25Yeah, that's it
01:07:29Give me the irk
01:07:30Gucci!
01:07:31He's hopeless
01:07:36We've been looking for him all night long
01:07:40We're never gonna find him
01:07:41Don't give up, dad
01:07:42He's just off having a little adventure
01:07:43Keep looking, he'll turn up in a few minutes
01:07:56See, they're not gonna kill us
01:07:57I do have to admit, though
01:07:58I didn't expect to see this side of him
01:07:59He's really there for his dad
01:08:00His dad's dog
01:08:01So you approve now?
01:08:02They didn't say that
01:08:03Gucci!
01:08:04Gucci!
01:08:06My boy's back!
01:08:07Oh!
01:08:08Oh!
01:08:09Okay, okay
01:08:10I'm a little closer to the other side of him
01:08:11He's really there for his dad
01:08:13His dad's dog
01:08:15So you approve now?
01:08:16They didn't say that
01:08:18Gucci!
01:08:19Gucci!
01:08:23Gucci!
01:08:24My boy's back!
01:08:25Oh!
01:08:33Okay, okay
01:08:35I'm a little closer to approving
01:08:44I might
01:08:46have
01:08:47possibly
01:08:49I stretched you
01:08:51A little
01:08:53It's okay
01:08:54Most of what the tabloids publish is true
01:08:57They just leave out part of the story
01:09:00Amelia
01:09:02Can we talk?
01:09:06Please?
01:09:09Amelia
01:09:11Can we talk?
01:09:14Please?
01:09:15Okay
01:09:19Amelia
01:09:25Amelia
01:09:27I'm sorry about earlier tonight
01:09:29I shouldn't have attacked your sister
01:09:32And I shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the contract
01:09:35I hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement
01:09:41Thanks for saying that
01:09:43I needed to hear that
01:09:45And I'm sorry for calling you a monster
01:09:48You're not one
01:09:50I'm still learning new things about you
01:09:53Most of them are good
01:09:55I'm happy we signed the contract
01:09:57I'm not
01:09:59You're not?
01:10:01What do you mean?
01:10:02Amelia
01:10:12Amelia this might sound crazy but
01:10:15I meant it when I said that I love you
01:10:18And I don't want some silly piece of paper to pee the reason that we stay together
01:10:22I want to know that our love is real
01:10:27Dad
01:10:29What is it son?
01:10:32I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia
01:10:35Why son?
01:10:37Because I want to ask her to marry me
01:10:40And not because of some legal obligation
01:10:44But because she wants to
01:10:53Consider our contract Noel and Boyd
01:11:03Amelia
01:11:05What will it be?
01:11:08Will you marry me?
01:11:09Will you marry me?
01:11:12Will you marry me?
01:11:14Yes
01:11:16I'll marry you
01:11:32You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world
01:11:35And I'm the happiest dog walker
01:11:37Look at me
01:11:40I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct
01:11:43All right, all right, you two
01:11:46That's enough, all right?
01:11:48We spent this whole night together
01:11:50Come over to my place, all right?
01:11:52We'll have a nice breakfast Italian style
01:11:55Hopefully it's not too rich for you
01:11:58I think I can get used to it
01:12:00And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:12:03I want to hear from everybody involved
01:12:04Especially Coldplay
01:12:07We're not getting Coldplay, Dad
01:12:09It was worth a try
01:12:10It was worth a try
01:12:11He he he he he he he
01:12:13And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows
01:12:25Michelangelo?
01:12:27Uh, Amelia
01:12:29Even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're perfect together
01:12:31I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time and not just about dogs
01:12:34And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:38Michelangelo?
01:12:42Amelia, even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're perfect together.
01:12:51I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time, and not just about dogs.
01:12:57I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:13:04I'm looking forward to your support and counsel as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:13:13And in return, I promise to be patient and a loving husband as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamed of.
01:13:25I, um, Amelia, you are the only thing better than free underwear.
01:13:36I love you so much.
01:13:37I never thought I would end up with a former man thong model, but here we are.
01:13:50Michelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell, and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest.
01:13:55Something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:13:58And although we haven't spent much time together, it feels like a lifetime, in a good way.
01:14:09I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:14:11Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:14:13I love you.
01:14:14With the power vested in me by Almighty God and the city of Beverly Hills, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:14:22You may kiss your bride.
01:14:23Thanks.
01:14:34I'm Betsy, Amelia's sister.
01:14:36I'm Jake, another dog walker.
01:14:40It's crazy, you know, given my sister, but I've always been more of a cat person.
01:14:46Me too!
01:14:48Oh, clap.
01:14:51Oh, my God.
01:14:55Oh, my God.
01:14:57Oh, my God.
01:14:58Oh, my God.
01:14:59Oh, my God.
01:15:01Oh, my God.
01:15:02Oh, my God.
01:15:03Oh, my God.
01:15:04Oh, my God.
01:15:05Oh, my God.
01:15:06Oh, my God.
01:15:07Oh, my God.
01:15:08Oh, my God.
01:15:09Oh, my God.
01:15:10Oh, my God.
01:15:11Oh, my God.
01:15:12Oh, my God.
01:15:13Oh, my God.
01:15:14Oh, my God.
01:15:15Oh, my God.
01:15:16Oh, my God.
01:15:17Oh, my God.
01:15:18Oh, my God.
01:15:19Oh, my God.
01:15:20Oh, my God.
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