- yesterday
Fake Fiancé, Real Fire shortmintz
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01Wait, what are you doing? That is an original.
00:00:03I'm so sick of your bullshit!
00:00:06Oh, fine! I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one!
00:00:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion. You're treating me like shit!
00:00:16That's from the Renaissance! You are history's worst nightmare!
00:00:19I tried to make this work with you. We signed a contract!
00:00:22For an arranged marriage! Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:00:27You are such a simpleton!
00:00:31Wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:00:33Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat! I tried to get along with you, you brought this on to yourself!
00:00:38I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:00:40Right back at you!
00:00:42I fucking hate you!
00:00:44I fucking hate you more!
00:01:00So, you were arrested. Again!
00:01:11To be fair, we thought I was leaving. We'll just swim there.
00:01:15There is a fence around that reservoir. It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters!
00:01:23If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I wouldn't have came.
00:01:27Come on, Gucci! Come on!
00:01:28Good boy!
00:01:29Oh!
00:01:30Oh!
00:01:31Come on, Gucci! Let's go!
00:01:32Hey!
00:01:33I'm here, we are!
00:01:34Oh!
00:01:35Hey, Jay!
00:01:36Come on, Gucci! Let's go!
00:01:37Hey!
00:01:38I'm here, we are!
00:01:39Oh!
00:01:40Hey, Jay!
00:01:41Come on, Gucci! Let's go!
00:01:42Hey!
00:01:43I'm here, we are!
00:01:44Oh!
00:01:45Hey, Jay!
00:01:50Come on, Gucci! Let's go!
00:01:55You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:02:01It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:02:06The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:02:09I make my own money.
00:02:11Oh, you see, you see.
00:02:13Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:02:15I am the spokesperson for man phone.
00:02:17That means free underwear for life.
00:02:19For life.
00:02:20Some parents would be proud.
00:02:22Yeah?
00:02:23Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:02:26You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:02:31Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:02:36What?
00:02:37Mmm!
00:02:38Alright, don't forget the meeting this afternoon, alright?
00:02:40And don't be late.
00:02:41Bye, Dad.
00:02:42Bye, Dad.
00:02:43Excuse me.
00:02:44Eww.
00:02:45Hello, my Gucci.
00:02:48Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:02:49Needs to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:02:50Like you, Amelia.
00:02:51Good one, Romulus.
00:02:53Good one, Romulus.
00:02:54I'll see you later.
00:02:55Okay.
00:02:56Bye.
00:02:59Bye.
00:03:00Bye.
00:03:01Bye.
00:03:02Bye.
00:03:03Bye.
00:03:04I love you, my Gucci.
00:03:06Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:03:09Needs to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:03:13Like you, Amelia.
00:03:16Good one, Romulus.
00:03:18These are great.
00:03:34I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:03:37Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:03:39No problem.
00:03:40Cool.
00:03:40Let's take five, and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:03:48Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:03:51Chantal.
00:03:52Nice to meet you.
00:03:54I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:03:57I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:03:59Hold that up.
00:04:04Hey, Dad.
00:04:06Where the hell were you?
00:04:08Dad, I'm on a photo shoot.
00:04:10You're supposed to be at the office.
00:04:13Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:04:15I can meet him later.
00:04:16No, it's two ladies back on the plane again.
00:04:19Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:04:22Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:04:24You've got to stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:04:26You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:04:30You interned.
00:04:31You went to business school.
00:04:33You have potential, okay?
00:04:35But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:04:38Well, you're going to have to prove it,
00:04:39because so far, I ain't seen the end tape from you.
00:04:43Bye, Dad.
00:04:46Hey, you okay?
00:04:51Yeah, but I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:04:55So, it's a really rare form of cancer.
00:05:13Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:05:16There is an experimental treatment,
00:05:21but it's really expensive,
00:05:23and the insurance doesn't cover it.
00:05:26Don't worry about that.
00:05:28I have money saved.
00:05:31I'll find the rest.
00:05:32We will figure this out, okay?
00:05:34We're going to get through this together.
00:05:37Oh, yeah.
00:05:38Ciao, Gucci.
00:05:53Did she have a good walk?
00:05:57What's wrong?
00:05:58I'm sorry.
00:06:05This is...
00:06:05No, forget that.
00:06:06I'm sorry about your sister.
00:06:08The treatments are just really expensive.
00:06:11I have a savings for my doggy daycare,
00:06:15my dream, but...
00:06:17It's only enough for one treatment,
00:06:20and who knows how many she's going to need.
00:06:23Betsy practically raised us.
00:06:26After her parents passed,
00:06:28I would do anything for her.
00:06:31Amelia,
00:06:32I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:06:36You do?
00:06:36Come back tonight
00:06:40and, uh...
00:06:42make something nice.
00:06:45Come on, Becky.
00:06:53Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:06:58Except for the dog hair.
00:07:01Well, come with me.
00:07:03I have someone I want you to meet.
00:07:05Are they from Italy?
00:07:07Yes.
00:07:08Wow.
00:07:08Yes, of course,
00:07:09everything's from Italy here.
00:07:12Well,
00:07:13Amelia, meet Michelangelo, my son.
00:07:17I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday,
00:07:19huh?
00:07:19Mm-hmm.
00:07:20Yeah.
00:07:21Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:07:23I'm a dog walker.
00:07:24Don't be so defensive.
00:07:27I wasn't.
00:07:32Well, I...
00:07:33I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:07:35I have some unfinished business to do.
00:07:37Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:07:40Amelia.
00:07:42Arrivederci, huh?
00:07:50Do you want to do me a favor?
00:07:52What, exactly?
00:08:05How does it look?
00:08:06Not half bad.
00:08:07I mean, it's fine.
00:08:10Whatever.
00:08:13Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:08:16Or not.
00:08:17I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:08:20You work for my dad.
00:08:21You have to do what I say.
00:08:22You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:08:24Just a few more pictures.
00:08:27I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:08:29I don't need Tinder.
00:08:30I'm an underwear model.
00:08:32My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:08:35Whatever.
00:08:41Pour me another.
00:08:42I told you, I'm...
00:08:43Now!
00:08:43See, dog walker?
00:08:55That wasn't so hard.
00:08:59What the fuck?
00:09:01This is fucking Prada!
00:09:07Asshole!
00:09:09You're crazy, bitch!
00:09:12Amelia!
00:09:13Whoa!
00:09:13What's wrong?
00:09:15I asked her to pour me another drink,
00:09:17and she flipped out!
00:09:18I'm sorry, Romulus,
00:09:20but your son is a prick.
00:09:21I'm going to be leaving.
00:09:22No, no, no, please.
00:09:22I apologize.
00:09:24My son, he's immature.
00:09:26All right?
00:09:27And that's why I invited you.
00:09:29Poor Florida.
00:09:31Please.
00:09:31All right?
00:09:32Just have a seat.
00:09:33All right?
00:09:34And I promise,
00:09:35he'll be on his best behavior
00:09:36for the rest of the night.
00:09:36Won't you, son?
00:09:38So,
00:09:39Amelia needs money
00:09:40to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:09:42Can't, sir.
00:09:45Yeah.
00:09:46And you need to settle down
00:09:48and prove that you're worthy
00:09:49of running the family business.
00:09:51Make my own money, Dad.
00:09:54Okay.
00:09:55I want the business.
00:09:56I think we can make a deal
00:10:00whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:10:04What kind of deal?
00:10:06Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:10:08No.
00:10:10You two just have to get married,
00:10:11that's all.
00:10:13What?
00:10:14What?
00:10:15Romulus,
00:10:16what are you saying?
00:10:17I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:10:19Yeah, and I can't marry someone
00:10:21who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:10:22Well, at least I don't pose
00:10:24in my tighty-whities for money.
00:10:26Well, Angelo,
00:10:27you have to grow up
00:10:29before you can run out business.
00:10:30And the best way to do that
00:10:32is to get married.
00:10:33We're not even a match.
00:10:35We hate each other.
00:10:36At least I do.
00:10:37Obviously.
00:10:38See?
00:10:39There's something uncommon already.
00:10:41Look, you know,
00:10:43my wife and I,
00:10:44we were opposites.
00:10:46Oh, yeah,
00:10:46we were like pizza
00:10:47and Hawaiian pizza.
00:10:49She sure drove me crazy
00:10:51when we first met her.
00:10:54I know you're probably thinking
00:10:55I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:10:56But I learned a thing or two
00:10:58in 70 years.
00:11:00You two have chemistry.
00:11:02Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:11:04As if.
00:11:06Romulus,
00:11:06isn't there another way?
00:11:08I don't want to be miserable
00:11:09for the rest of my life.
00:11:10Amelia,
00:11:11you do want to help your sister,
00:11:12don't you?
00:11:13Well, you'll be able
00:11:14to afford the treatment
00:11:15if you just agree
00:11:17to this arrangement.
00:11:17What's it going to be?
00:11:26What's it going to be?
00:11:30Fine.
00:11:31I'll do it.
00:11:32For Betsy.
00:11:37Angelo,
00:11:38it's not polite
00:11:39to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:11:41If you're not going to agree
00:11:42to marry her,
00:11:44then you're going to lose
00:11:46the business.
00:11:47And you're also going to lose
00:11:49your inheritance.
00:11:50What the hell, Dad?
00:11:54Fuck it.
00:11:55Fine.
00:11:56I'll do it.
00:11:57Now, let's just
00:11:58go into the office now.
00:12:01The lorries have already
00:12:02drafted the contract.
00:12:03And, son,
00:12:04we are going to need
00:12:05some champagne.
00:12:07Right in my mind.
00:12:08Try and make yourself
00:12:09look decent at home.
00:12:13You will be engaged
00:12:14for a period of 30 days.
00:12:16Followed by a wedding
00:12:18planned by me.
00:12:19And I'll tell you,
00:12:20it's going to be a big one
00:12:21for the ages, too.
00:12:23I hope the Hollywood Bowl
00:12:24is not booked.
00:12:25Anyway,
00:12:26you must move in together
00:12:28immediately
00:12:28to avoid any suspicion,
00:12:30you know.
00:12:31Look,
00:12:31there's nothing wrong
00:12:32with an arranged marriage,
00:12:34but, well,
00:12:35it can't do any good
00:12:36if word got out
00:12:37to the public, right?
00:12:38That's why this has
00:12:39to be our own secret.
00:12:41Are we agreed?
00:12:43Sure.
00:12:44All right.
00:12:45Sign in.
00:13:04Salute
00:13:05to the new couple.
00:13:08Ooh.
00:13:16So,
00:13:17your place or mine?
00:13:19I'm not staying
00:13:20at a doghouse.
00:13:21Fine.
00:13:22Then we'll stay at yours.
00:13:32So this is Michelangelo's place.
00:13:35It's like a museum in here.
00:13:38A Michelangelo museum.
00:13:40Ugh.
00:13:54Whoa.
00:13:55What was this?
00:13:57Put it in the trash.
00:13:58This isn't trash.
00:13:59These are my sisters.
00:14:00She's an artist.
00:14:01So put them in your room.
00:14:03I said you could live here,
00:14:04not decorate.
00:14:05Oh, I'm sorry.
00:14:06Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:14:08That's man-thong.
00:14:10It's trademarked.
00:14:15Look,
00:14:15I gotta go meet somebody.
00:14:17If this isn't cleaned up
00:14:18by the time I get back,
00:14:18I'm throwing it all in the fireplace.
00:14:19It's electric.
00:14:27Oh,
00:14:27by the way,
00:14:29this is gonna work.
00:14:31You might want to start wearing that.
00:14:32Gee,
00:14:35thanks.
00:14:36Welcome.
00:14:42You're getting married?
00:14:44Shh,
00:14:45Betsy.
00:14:45Don't tell the whole world.
00:14:47Sorry,
00:14:48Amelia.
00:14:49It's just,
00:14:50it's not like you.
00:14:52You're saying you're
00:14:53reserved.
00:14:55Safe.
00:14:57Like,
00:14:57I always taught you.
00:15:00Well,
00:15:01things change
00:15:02when you find out
00:15:02your sister has cancer.
00:15:05And besides,
00:15:06Michelangelo offered
00:15:07to help pay
00:15:07for some of your treatments.
00:15:09So,
00:15:09I'm okay with
00:15:10the quick proposal.
00:15:12Michelangelo?
00:15:13The Ninja Turtle?
00:15:15No.
00:15:17Michelangelo...
00:15:18Dino Valeno?
00:15:19Maybe you've
00:15:20heard of him?
00:15:21Michelangelo?
00:15:22Dino Valeno?
00:15:23Shh!
00:15:23The socialite animal
00:15:28who's, like,
00:15:29started a hundred
00:15:29canceled Bravo shows?
00:15:31How did you even meet?
00:15:33His dad is one of my clients.
00:15:36It's been a whirlwind
00:15:38of a romance.
00:15:40He's so toxic.
00:15:44Speak of the devil.
00:15:47Oh, yeah.
00:15:49You know,
00:15:49that's probably
00:15:50an old issue.
00:15:52This is a doctor's office.
00:15:53Amelia.
00:15:57Betsy Carlisle?
00:16:00Doctor's ready.
00:16:02We'll talk about this later.
00:16:03We'll talk about this later.
00:16:03We're just gonna wet, baby.
00:16:28We're already wet.
00:16:29where did that come from?
00:16:47Nice place.
00:17:12I love the artwork.
00:17:14Thanks.
00:17:15Finally.
00:17:17Ooh, good taste.
00:17:20Oh, I'm good.
00:17:22You had plenty at dinner.
00:17:24More for me.
00:17:28You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bed.
00:17:45Who are you?
00:17:45Who are you?
00:17:47Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:17:52Amelia.
00:17:53Whatever.
00:17:54Can you guys just keep it down?
00:17:56I have work tomorrow morning.
00:17:58This is my house?
00:18:00We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:18:03Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:18:05You've got to be kidding me.
00:18:07What's wrong, dog walker?
00:18:09Who's jealous?
00:18:11Jealous?
00:18:12I'm not jealous.
00:18:13Sweet dreams.
00:18:14I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:18:15How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:18:20Even if he is kinda hot.
00:18:21I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:18:22How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:18:23Even if he is kinda hot.
00:18:24See you later.
00:18:25And um, don't worry about last night.
00:18:26Sorry.
00:18:27Sorry.
00:18:28I had one too many to drink at you.
00:18:29I'm sorry.
00:18:30How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:18:31Even if he is kinda hot.
00:18:34Two bad cutters or three per多- Ivane Rock whether it might stop it.
00:18:47How would I know horny?
00:18:49See you later.
00:18:50And um, don't worry about last night.
00:18:53Sorry.
00:18:54I had one too many to drink at.
00:18:57It won't happen again.
00:18:58Better not.
00:19:04How's the hangover roomie not now my head's killing me we need to talk about last night no
00:19:17what we need to do is order a three egg omelet home fries I don't care if you're fooling around
00:19:23with your bimbos monogamy wasn't in the contract but your dad doesn't want people knowing that
00:19:28this is an arranged marriage and you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you
00:19:31don't care about me fine I'll have her sign an nda just keep my phone my sister needs this money
00:19:38Michelangelo and if the paparazzi find out about this then the contract is violated then neither
00:19:43of us get what we want yeah no shit I'm serious don't screw this up I've been dealing with paparazzi
00:19:52since I was a teenager I know what I'm doing dog walker and just so we're clear I will fuck whoever
00:19:58whatever I want whatever I want fine do whatever you want sorry it's a bit harsh just really
00:20:09hungover that could have gone better
00:20:15you know you don't have to keep working Amelia you're rich now I know I like it
00:20:28ah it's good to hear you know I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son
00:20:33tell me uh how are things going between the two of you huh oh fine yeah we're still getting to know
00:20:41each other all right well give him time all right oh and listen he is not as bad as TMZ says all
00:20:48right look I I promise I wouldn't be so sure yeah you're right well we'll see you later
00:20:56yeah come on Gucci yeah yeah come on bye Gooch
00:20:59hey Amelia hey Jake
00:21:04Gucci no Royce
00:21:08say bad dog but not actually mad about this
00:21:13it's to see you up close for once yeah same here
00:21:17sorry Gucci's um a bit crazy this whole family actually
00:21:29all these rich people are nuts I should make a reality show
00:21:34little dog owners of Beverly Hills
00:21:36do you want to walk together let these two get to know each other
00:21:42yeah I'd like that
00:21:47so how long have you been a dog walker a couple months I like it I had a bunch of terrible gigs
00:21:56before barista Uber driver delivery guy movie extra you were in a movie actually it was a toothpaste
00:22:05commercial just trying to impress you how about you how long you been doing this I don't know
00:22:12my whole life I guess it started as a summer job and then I turned it into my own business
00:22:18I want to open a doggy daycare someday
00:22:20wow
00:22:21I guess you really like dogs
00:22:23well they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes
00:22:26if you want to hang out with this human sometime
00:22:31my band's playing at the Echoplex tonight
00:22:34do you want to go
00:22:35and I have to admit I had a crush on you
00:22:40you did
00:22:42yeah
00:22:44I still do
00:22:46he's cute
00:22:50I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged
00:22:53then again
00:22:55that fuckboy has been out having fun
00:22:57I'd love to go to the concert
00:23:01hell yeah
00:23:03I mean uh
00:23:05regular
00:23:06yeah
00:23:06I know it's risky
00:23:10but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo
00:23:13I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show
00:23:15hey what's your ring
00:23:18um
00:23:21it's
00:23:21just a class ring
00:23:23from high school
00:23:24looks pretty big
00:23:26it was a big school
00:23:28public schools
00:23:30am I right
00:23:31I mean it kind of looks like an engagement ring
00:23:39me?
00:23:40engaged?
00:23:41no
00:23:41are you kidding?
00:23:42I'm 24
00:23:43I'm practically still a baby
00:23:45I mean I should be
00:23:46wearing diapers
00:23:47crawling around
00:23:48drooling
00:23:49nope
00:23:50single and ready to mingle
00:23:52okay
00:23:53Royce pooped
00:23:57you should pick it up
00:23:59where?
00:23:59I don't see it
00:24:00just over there
00:24:02do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:24:10of course
00:24:11it's an office
00:24:12you want to be CEO
00:24:13you gotta look the part
00:24:15you mean like
00:24:16you look like Willy Wonka
00:24:17without the chocolate factory?
00:24:18very funny
00:24:21you know I'm retiring next year
00:24:22yes I know
00:24:23yeah
00:24:23that means you gotta get up to speed
00:24:25rapidamente
00:24:26so today you're gonna be my shadow
00:24:28you'll be my extra hands
00:24:29and we got a lot to do
00:24:30can I get Starbucks first?
00:24:31fuck no
00:24:32come on dad
00:24:34oh my goodness
00:24:47are you okay?
00:24:50hi
00:24:50I'm Michelangelo
00:24:51you're engaged
00:24:57remember
00:24:57and
00:25:00this is our new palette
00:25:01it's Matt's collection
00:25:04he really liked these colors
00:25:05so we did them twice
00:25:06um
00:25:07but yeah
00:25:09that's
00:25:10the presentation
00:25:11for me
00:25:12Michelangelo
00:25:13what dad?
00:25:23what a day dad
00:25:24it's not even lunch time yet
00:25:26look at you
00:25:27you got so lazy
00:25:28just sitting around
00:25:28taking pictures of yourself
00:25:29all the time
00:25:30just stick with it
00:25:32will you kid?
00:25:33hard work does pay off
00:25:35let me just look at Amelia
00:25:36what about her?
00:25:38she comes from nothing son
00:25:40nobody taught her
00:25:41how to run a business
00:25:42but she just worked hard
00:25:43and now
00:25:44well now she earns money
00:25:46doing what she loves
00:25:46I guess that's impressive
00:25:49yeah see
00:25:49see it is
00:25:50I hope she rubs off
00:25:52on you a little
00:25:52you know
00:25:53I just hope
00:25:55I don't get that uptight
00:25:56break's over
00:26:03break's over
00:26:03well not too bad
00:26:19one day down
00:26:2040 more years to go
00:26:22now this is the time
00:26:26when you go home with Amelia
00:26:28you talk about the day's work
00:26:31raise you closer together
00:26:32comfort each other
00:26:34just like your mom and I
00:26:35used to do
00:26:37you know
00:26:38you know I'm thinking
00:26:39it's time for the world
00:26:41to meet
00:26:42Amelia
00:26:43tonight
00:26:45tonight?
00:26:48shit
00:26:48when am I gonna tell Chantel
00:26:50I promise we'd Netflix
00:26:51a bang tonight
00:26:52the LA Zoo fundraiser
00:26:53lights, camera, red carpet
00:26:55perfect time to announce
00:26:57our lovely new addition
00:26:58to the Dino
00:26:59Verdina
00:27:00family
00:27:01don't you think it's a bit
00:27:03soon dad?
00:27:04I mean
00:27:04we just signed the contract
00:27:06what's the matter?
00:27:09you're getting along
00:27:09aren't you?
00:27:10yeah
00:27:10yeah
00:27:11just
00:27:11really starting to
00:27:13warm up to each other
00:27:14alright
00:27:15so it's all settled
00:27:16I'll see you at 8 o'clock
00:27:17tonight
00:27:17in the limo
00:27:18and
00:27:19don't be late
00:27:20alright dad
00:27:34so
00:27:35remind me
00:27:37why are we getting
00:27:38makeovers done again?
00:27:40because I want to do
00:27:42something nice
00:27:42for my favorite big sister
00:27:44and
00:27:45and
00:27:47you know I never
00:27:48splurge on stuff like this
00:27:49but since I'm part of the
00:27:51Dino Levino family now
00:27:52I think I can afford
00:27:54to let my hair down
00:27:55you better not let that
00:27:57hair down
00:27:57sorry
00:27:58just an expression
00:27:59how's it going in there?
00:28:08I'm coming out
00:28:09is that bad?
00:28:20I've
00:28:21never seen a dog walker
00:28:23look this hot
00:28:25by that dress
00:28:27ASAP
00:28:28leave me alone
00:28:32party boy
00:28:33I've got my own function
00:28:35tonight
00:28:58what are you looking at?
00:29:11you're spilling all over yourself
00:29:12thanks
00:29:13I
00:29:14did you forget my name?
00:29:18no
00:29:19there's just
00:29:19something
00:29:21different
00:29:22did you change your hair?
00:29:24why do you care?
00:29:25the manwhore house is yours tonight
00:29:27I'm going out
00:29:27I just forgot my charger
00:29:28awesome
00:29:29thanks
00:29:30I'm taking this
00:29:34wait
00:29:35I've been calling you
00:29:36we're supposed to go to a fundraiser
00:29:37I told you
00:29:38I'm busy
00:29:39hold on
00:29:40Amelia
00:29:43all right
00:29:52hey
00:29:52look who's right on time
00:29:53nice
00:29:54where's Amelia
00:29:56she's
00:29:57sick
00:29:58she can't make it
00:30:00whoa whoa whoa
00:30:01if your fiance's sick
00:30:03you know
00:30:03you can't go out and party
00:30:04yeah you gotta stay home with her
00:30:07give her some
00:30:07give her some nice soup
00:30:09I'll catch both of you
00:30:11for the next one
00:30:12tell Amelia that
00:30:13I hope she feels better soon
00:30:14poor thing
00:30:15okay dad
00:30:17see you in the office
00:30:18stupid dog walker
00:30:26tricking me with her makeover
00:30:27I'll teach her to mess with my plans
00:30:29hey
00:30:37it's Mike
00:30:38you still track people
00:30:40wow
00:30:55Amelia
00:30:56hi
00:30:57you look like you just walked off a runway
00:31:01without a dog
00:31:03sorry
00:31:04I don't come to concerts often
00:31:06I kind of panicked
00:31:07no worries
00:31:08I should have mentioned
00:31:09this is more of a
00:31:10five dollar beer kind of place
00:31:11yeah
00:31:12but
00:31:13you're drinking for free tonight
00:31:14talk to the bartender
00:31:16wow
00:31:17you had good treatment
00:31:18you look like
00:31:19thanks
00:31:21hey
00:31:23lover boy
00:31:24we're on
00:31:25gotta go
00:31:28find me in the green room after
00:31:30hope you like it
00:31:32break a leg
00:31:33lovely boy
00:31:34rock stars are so much better than underwear models
00:31:56good
00:32:05nothing from michelangelo
00:32:07maybe he's learned his lesson
00:32:08one more please
00:32:11but that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with jake tonight
00:32:18you guys
00:32:25you guys are raised
00:32:26you really think so
00:32:28I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes
00:32:31the who
00:32:32you don't know the strokes
00:32:36are they older
00:32:39I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl
00:32:41it's alright
00:32:44lots of stuff to introduce you to
00:32:45you want something to drink
00:32:48yeah
00:32:48thank you
00:32:50so
00:32:56when did you learn how to play guitar
00:32:58since I was 13
00:33:00played in bands all through high school and college
00:33:03but
00:33:04I feel like this one's finally going someplace
00:33:06that's awesome
00:33:07when I get my record deal
00:33:09I can finally quit my job
00:33:11focus on music full time
00:33:13you're gonna quit dog walking
00:33:14I thought you liked it
00:33:16I do but
00:33:18it's just another gig until I hit it big in music
00:33:20I don't even like dogs that much
00:33:22I'm more of a cat person
00:33:24a cat person?
00:33:29who doesn't like dogs?
00:33:31even michelangelo's good with gucci
00:33:32I don't want to talk about work tonight
00:33:35I just want to relax
00:33:37have a good time
00:33:39you're beautiful you know that
00:33:41I thought I wanted to hook up with jake
00:33:46now I'm not sure
00:33:47we have nothing in common
00:33:49is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:33:54the heck
00:33:54I'm tipsy
00:33:55and he's cute
00:33:56michelangelo had his fun
00:33:58now I can have mine
00:33:59looks like someone needs obedience
00:34:15what's going on?
00:34:18that's michelangelo
00:34:19Dina Levino
00:34:19the nepo baby
00:34:20underwear model
00:34:21he's not
00:34:23you coming with me dog walker?
00:34:25don't make me get the leash
00:34:26what the hell michelangelo?
00:34:28back off dude
00:34:30back off
00:34:31grubby little hipster
00:34:32she's my fiance
00:34:33so that was an engagement ring
00:34:35jake I can explain
00:34:37let's go
00:34:39I'm really sorry jake
00:34:43I'm not jake
00:34:44this
00:34:49is for making me uber
00:34:51all the way to fucking silver lake
00:34:52and this is for making me listen to Andy
00:34:56I can't believe you did that
00:35:03after your high and mighty speech
00:35:04you're such a hypocrite
00:35:05yeah well I don't have the paparazzi
00:35:07following me around
00:35:08just an italian
00:35:08american
00:35:09psycho
00:35:10I'm not following you around
00:35:12you know what
00:35:13I get it
00:35:14you saw me with Chantel last night
00:35:16and now you're jealous
00:35:17me jealous?
00:35:20did you see the way
00:35:21that you were acting around jake?
00:35:22like I would ever fuck a dog walker
00:35:25I am more than a dog walker
00:35:26you playboy prick
00:35:27I have a name
00:35:28wait what are you doing
00:35:30that is an original
00:35:31I'm so sick
00:35:32of your bullshit
00:35:33oh fine
00:35:35I'll just hop in my time machine
00:35:37go back to ancient Rome
00:35:38and get another one
00:35:39I don't care about your art
00:35:40your money
00:35:40your stupid mansion
00:35:41you're treating me
00:35:42like shit
00:35:43that's from the renaissance
00:35:45you're history's worst nightmare
00:35:47I tried to make this work with you
00:35:49we signed a contract
00:35:50for an arranged marriage
00:35:51did you actually think
00:35:53this arrangement would be
00:35:53anything more than a business transaction
00:35:55you are such a simpleton
00:35:57wait wait wait wait
00:36:00well at least I'm not a spoiled brat
00:36:03I tried to get along with you
00:36:05you brought this on to yourself
00:36:06I wish I never agreed
00:36:07to this awful engagement
00:36:08right back at you
00:36:09I fucking hate you
00:36:12I fucking hate you more
00:36:42you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you
00:37:12Where am I?
00:37:16Who's spooning me?
00:37:19Is that Jake?
00:37:21How drunk was I?
00:37:25Michelangelo?
00:37:29Dog Walker.
00:37:31Oh, I forgot we did that last night.
00:37:35Must have been all those free beers.
00:37:37Uh-huh.
00:37:39We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:37:42No, we had too many drinks.
00:37:43We just figured it'd ever happen.
00:37:45If that's what you want.
00:37:47Definitely.
00:37:49Um, I have to go to work.
00:37:54I should get up, too.
00:37:57Oh, my head.
00:37:59There's Pedialine in the fridge.
00:38:01Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:38:03Of course.
00:38:04My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:38:09Well, you look great.
00:38:11Thanks.
00:38:12I don't feel great.
00:38:14The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:38:18But you, on the other hand, are glowing today.
00:38:22What's going on?
00:38:25So, Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:38:29Wait.
00:38:31For the first time?
00:38:32Yeah.
00:38:33We're taking it slow.
00:38:37Michelangelo.
00:38:38The male gigolo.
00:38:39Taking it slow.
00:38:43Maybe I did misjudge him.
00:38:45And how was it?
00:38:49Well...
00:38:50Really bad.
00:38:51Right?
00:38:52I knew it.
00:38:53Actually, it was the best sex I ever had.
00:38:56Well, that explains the glow.
00:39:02I am happy for you, sis.
00:39:05Physical chemistry is important.
00:39:07That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:39:10I don't get it.
00:39:11He and I are nothing alike, and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:39:15I feel like an arcade game, and he just keeps getting the high score again and again, and you get the picture.
00:39:21Hey.
00:39:26Opposites attract.
00:39:27I mean, that's why you guys love each other so much.
00:39:31Because you're so different.
00:39:34Something like that.
00:39:42Here it comes.
00:39:43Right on the schedule.
00:39:45Dog walker's in love with me.
00:39:47I'll have to let her down easy.
00:39:49Weird.
00:39:50I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:40:02What was that about?
00:40:04Must be the hangover.
00:40:13Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:40:15Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:40:20Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:40:40And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:40:42I'll have to let her down soon.
00:41:01Hey.
00:41:04Hi.
00:41:05We should talk about it last night.
00:41:12I'm not very good with words.
00:41:14Me neither.
00:41:15But last night I...
00:41:16You don't have to say anything.
00:41:18We both know it was a mistake.
00:41:20And we can just go back to hating each other.
00:41:23Like nothing ever happened.
00:41:24I don't think you understand it.
00:41:25You just listen to me for a second.
00:41:27Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:41:30I'm a big girl.
00:41:30I've had a one night stand before.
00:41:33I've never been with someone like you before.
00:41:35Okay, I get it.
00:41:37I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:41:42You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:41:46I know that if you would take back last night, that you would.
00:41:48And frankly, so would I.
00:41:50I mean, you're driving me nuts.
00:41:51You don't understand.
00:41:52Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:41:56I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:41:59Wait, did you just call me Amelia?
00:42:02What happened to Dog Walker?
00:42:08I have a confession to make.
00:42:11Last night, I don't know how, I don't know why.
00:42:17That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:42:21Really?
00:42:21Do I look like I'm lying?
00:42:24I'm not a good actor.
00:42:26I could even do reality TV.
00:42:29But there is a fire between us, Amelia.
00:42:33Some kind of crazy cosmic chemistry.
00:42:37You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:42:40Amelia.
00:42:42Please.
00:42:42I know you felt it too.
00:42:51Amelia, please.
00:42:53Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:42:56I felt it too.
00:43:02So why are we fighting it?
00:43:04I've been thinking about you all day.
00:43:07Me too.
00:43:08Me too.
00:43:12Me too.
00:43:13Me too.
00:43:13So I set the kitchen on fire.
00:43:43How am I supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball shots on fire?
00:43:48It's not my fault.
00:43:49They should change the name.
00:43:52No wonder they canceled Vanderpump's super yacht.
00:43:56If you think that's funny, just wait until the next episode.
00:43:58The captain gets super drunk off espresso martinis, and he almost sinks the boat.
00:44:07You know, when you're not acting like a complete douchebag, you're not so bad.
00:44:13Thanks?
00:44:15You know, we could actually try this.
00:44:19Hey, if the sex stays this good, I'm open for anything.
00:44:22I'm serious.
00:44:24The wedding's coming up.
00:44:27We could give it a shot.
00:44:29You mean like you and me, together together?
00:44:32Why not?
00:44:34Were you planning on marrying someone else?
00:44:35Oh, Gucci, what's the rush?
00:44:55Oh, hey, Royce.
00:44:58Jake?
00:44:59How's it going?
00:45:01Good.
00:45:02Yeah.
00:45:03Look, the other night was kind of...
00:45:05Crazy.
00:45:06I know.
00:45:07I should have told you about Michelangelo.
00:45:10We were kind of in a fight.
00:45:11I'm sorry for bringing you into this.
00:45:15Is he always like that?
00:45:17So aggressive and controlling?
00:45:19I couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that.
00:45:22He was like a caveman lugging home his woman.
00:45:25Well, I am his woman.
00:45:27He saw us together and he got jealous.
00:45:30And I don't blame him.
00:45:32Oh, my God.
00:45:32Am I actually sticking up for Michelangelo Dinovolino?
00:45:36I didn't mean to pry.
00:45:39I just wanted to make sure everything's okay.
00:45:41I'm here if you need to talk.
00:45:43Thanks, Jake.
00:45:45But I'm engaged.
00:45:47Remember?
00:45:48And the only person I want to talk to is my fiancé.
00:45:51I thought we had a connection.
00:45:53You're a cat person.
00:45:55It never would have worked.
00:45:58Come on, Gucci.
00:45:59Let's go.
00:46:03Cats are awesome.
00:46:04That was a great presentation.
00:46:10The marketing director loved your ideas for the new line.
00:46:13You think so?
00:46:13Ooh.
00:46:15Maybe I'm finally starting to get a hang of this CEO thing.
00:46:18Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:46:19Now, listen.
00:46:20I got to fly to Paris for a few days.
00:46:22You mind watching your little brother for me?
00:46:25Gucci?
00:46:25Sure.
00:46:26But, I mean, your dog's more Amelia specialty.
00:46:29Yeah, but that's how you impress her.
00:46:31You invite her for a romantic date at the dog park.
00:46:34At the dog park?
00:46:35Mm-hmm.
00:46:36I just texted her.
00:46:37It's all set.
00:46:39Now, go get a lover boy.
00:46:42So, you just throw it and he brings it back?
00:46:56You've never played fetch before?
00:46:59It's my dad's dog, not mine.
00:47:03Let me try.
00:47:04That's okay.
00:47:05I know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands.
00:47:12Do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:47:15No.
00:47:16I like my work.
00:47:18What's the point of working if you never get a chance to have fun?
00:47:23You're right.
00:47:24I should work less.
00:47:26If nothing else,
00:47:28you're letting me get closer to my little brother.
00:47:30Fetch, Gucci.
00:47:39I've got a big surprise.
00:47:42A surprise?
00:47:43Just wait and see.
00:47:52Grazie, Enzo.
00:47:53Have a good night, Mr. De Novolino.
00:47:54What's that?
00:48:01Special delivery from Masteryone's Italian Deli.
00:48:07But, Gucci?
00:48:08What's your favorite prosciutto?
00:48:11You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:48:15I thought you were off the clock today.
00:48:19Besides, a special occasion.
00:48:20I also thought we could use his water bowl
00:48:24to pour a little Chianti into it.
00:48:27I'm kidding.
00:48:28This is for us.
00:48:30Why don't you get us a corkscrew?
00:48:31What else is in the bag?
00:48:33Just some imported Italian ingredients
00:48:35so I can make you a real Italian dinner.
00:48:38You can cook?
00:48:39That was so good.
00:48:53I feel like I just went to Italy
00:48:55even though I've never been.
00:48:57How did you do this?
00:48:59I can't cook at all.
00:49:01Making Italian food
00:49:02is one of my favorite things to do.
00:49:03Did you learn in culinary school?
00:49:05No.
00:49:06My mom taught me.
00:49:08Tell me about her.
00:49:10I never told a girl about my mom.
00:49:13Sorry.
00:49:14I don't mean to pray.
00:49:16She passed away when I was 11.
00:49:19Breast cancer.
00:49:21But I have a lot of good memories of her.
00:49:24She grew up in a little village in Tuscany
00:49:26and she taught me everything I know about cooking.
00:49:31We'd spend hours in the kitchen
00:49:32just cooking and eating and laughing.
00:49:35I still have all of her recipes.
00:49:39Here.
00:49:40Handwritten in Italian.
00:49:42That's really special.
00:49:46I miss her.
00:49:48This might sound corny but
00:49:49I feel a little closer to her
00:49:52when I make her recipes.
00:49:53It's not corny.
00:49:56But I didn't know you were such a softie.
00:49:58Just don't tell TMZ.
00:50:02What about your parents?
00:50:04My parents died in a car accident
00:50:06when I was 13.
00:50:07It's been me and Betsy ever since.
00:50:11I'm sorry.
00:50:12I just really hope these treatments work.
00:50:17I don't want to lose her too.
00:50:18I'm sorry.
00:50:21Your story made me emotional.
00:50:23I'm gonna go do the dishes.
00:50:25I'll help you.
00:50:26No.
00:50:26No, it's fine.
00:50:27I like doing the dishes.
00:50:29It relaxes me.
00:50:30Good.
00:50:31Because I hate them.
00:50:32Well, then I guess we make a good team.
00:50:39Is it just the wine?
00:50:40Or am I really falling for...
00:50:43him?
00:50:43Her.
00:50:45You don't want espresso.
00:50:47Hey.
00:50:57Hey.
00:50:58Do you want an espresso?
00:51:00I just figured out how to make the machine work.
00:51:02No, thank you.
00:51:03You need to have a morning meeting.
00:51:04I'm kind of in a rush.
00:51:05Okay.
00:51:06Well, don't forget Gucci.
00:51:08How could I?
00:51:10Ready, bro?
00:51:12Well, let me fix your tie.
00:51:15What do you know about ties?
00:51:17You wear t-shirts to work.
00:51:19And you wore man thongs two weeks ago.
00:51:22Touche.
00:51:24There you go.
00:51:25Okay, bye.
00:51:26Bye.
00:51:29Love you.
00:51:30Love you, too.
00:51:41Sorry.
00:51:42Reflex.
00:51:43I didn't mean to say that.
00:51:44Me neither.
00:51:45Too soon.
00:51:47Talk about it later?
00:51:49Yeah.
00:51:51Okay.
00:51:51Okay.
00:51:53Could that have been any more awkward?
00:51:55And is Michelangelo really in love with me?
00:52:01Look who's here.
00:52:03Hey, my little guy.
00:52:06Hey, little Gucci.
00:52:08Look at this right here.
00:52:09Let's try it.
00:52:13Oh, yeah.
00:52:14Now, here's mine.
00:52:17Just like that.
00:52:19Yeah.
00:52:19Even got one for Big Brother.
00:52:21Right there.
00:52:23Come to Papa.
00:52:24Yes, my boy.
00:52:25All right, all right.
00:52:28So, we got to talk about this wedding, right?
00:52:31This is two weeks off.
00:52:33Hollywood Bowl.
00:52:33They're waiting for an answer.
00:52:35And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane.
00:52:38He says the band is free.
00:52:41You like Coldplay, right?
00:52:42Dad, you can't have the wedding at the Hollywood Bowl.
00:52:46Oh.
00:52:46Well, all right.
00:52:48Then we'll book the Magic Castle.
00:52:50How about that?
00:52:51Not too big.
00:52:51Plenty of room for Coldplay, huh?
00:52:54Let's just pump the brakes.
00:52:55We cannot plan a wedding like this.
00:52:58What?
00:52:58Something wrong with Amelia?
00:53:00No.
00:53:02Everything's great.
00:53:03It's better than great, honestly.
00:53:06But we cannot have a big, flashy wedding.
00:53:09That's our thing.
00:53:11It's not Amelia's thing.
00:53:13I think it'd make her uncomfortable.
00:53:16Wow, I never thought of that.
00:53:19You have a very good point there.
00:53:23I'm very impressed.
00:53:25You've never acted like this with any other woman.
00:53:29I can't say I've ever felt like this with another girl.
00:53:32Sounds like you might be falling in love.
00:53:35Love?
00:53:38Yeah, I don't know.
00:53:41He's so cute.
00:53:43All right, all right.
00:53:44Change of deal.
00:53:45We're going to cancel the Hollywood Bowl, all right?
00:53:48And then we'll have a nice, small, intimate affair, a wedding with Coldplay.
00:53:54No Coldplay, Dad.
00:53:56No Coldplay.
00:53:57So, it's about my cancer treatment.
00:54:07It's not working.
00:54:09I know it.
00:54:10I talked to my doctors yesterday.
00:54:13And I'm cured.
00:54:15What?
00:54:16You're cured?
00:54:17Oh, congratulations.
00:54:21I wasn't expecting it.
00:54:23I didn't think I would be cured in only two sessions.
00:54:27It only took two sessions?
00:54:29I almost had enough in my savings to cover that.
00:54:32Maybe I didn't need the Dino Volino's money.
00:54:36What's wrong, sis?
00:54:37We should be celebrating!
00:54:39I brought Prosecco.
00:54:41No.
00:54:42Yeah.
00:54:43No, I'm good.
00:54:44Yeah.
00:54:44Amelia, I'm your sister.
00:54:48You can tell me anything.
00:54:51Is it Michelangelo?
00:54:53Is everything okay?
00:54:54If that punk pretty boy hurts you, I will take that man thong and give him a wedgie so far
00:55:00up his butt that it will cut him in two.
00:55:02It's not Michelangelo, Betsy.
00:55:07It's me.
00:55:10I have to tell you something.
00:55:14I cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage!
00:55:20What is this, Game of Thrones?
00:55:21It was the only way that I could pay for your treatments.
00:55:24And you know that I would do anything for you.
00:55:28Actually, he's not that bad.
00:55:32I kind of like him.
00:55:34Yeah, babe, that's called Stockholm Syndrome.
00:55:37We need to get you out of there.
00:55:39Betsy, I have real feelings for him.
00:55:44But what about the tabloid stories?
00:55:48You heard what he did to that floozy in Disney World.
00:55:51They banned him for life.
00:55:54You'll never go to Epcot.
00:55:56He's not actually like the stories.
00:55:58Or at least not to me.
00:56:00He's only acting like that to get into your pants, Amelia.
00:56:05If you marry Michelangelo, he will make your life a living hell.
00:56:12What if you meet him?
00:56:14Yeah.
00:56:15Meet him.
00:56:17Maybe he'll change your mind.
00:56:18Maybe you'll actually like him.
00:56:20Don't count on it.
00:56:21Please, me, just give him a chance.
00:56:25Fine.
00:56:27Yes.
00:56:27Only one.
00:56:28Yes.
00:56:32You won't regret it.
00:56:33I'm going to go get the Prosecco.
00:56:37You better bring the whole bottle.
00:56:41Thank you for making dinner.
00:56:42Of course.
00:56:44I'm glad she's cancer-free.
00:56:46We need to celebrate.
00:56:49Michelangelo, you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world to me, right?
00:56:55You mean besides me?
00:56:56I'm serious.
00:56:57It's really important to me that you two get along.
00:57:00Have a glass of wine.
00:57:03Tonight's going to be great.
00:57:04It's enormous.
00:57:17Why would anybody need so much room?
00:57:22It's nice to see you too, sis.
00:57:26Nice to finally meet you, Betsy.
00:57:28So, this is the infamous, uh, Michelangelo.
00:57:39How about we start off with a glass of champagne?
00:57:42$96 Dom Perignon?
00:57:44Amelia said that's the year that you were born.
00:57:46Yeah, sorry, I can't drink that fancy stuff.
00:57:49It's worth more than my car.
00:57:51Why would anybody spend that much on a drink?
00:57:55$8.99 at Ralph's.
00:57:57It's delicious.
00:57:59This was made in France.
00:58:01Sorry, can't touch that stuff.
00:58:04So, who wants a drink?
00:58:06You hardly touch your food.
00:58:28It's a little too rich for me.
00:58:34Mine tastes great.
00:58:37So, Michelangelo, I have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up.
00:58:44You don't mind, do you?
00:58:47Fire away.
00:58:47So, I know you two have been having your fun, but what's this relationship going to look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
00:59:00I don't think it's going to.
00:59:02I don't think it's going to.
00:59:04That's cute and all, but what about her career? Are you going to support her?
00:59:09Or kids? What's your stance on that?
00:59:11Or are you just going to jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
00:59:15Betsy!
00:59:16Look, I know I have a past, but I'm committed to it.
00:59:22We haven't talked about kids, but I'm open to anything.
00:59:25See, Michelangelo, that's my point.
00:59:27You two are getting married, and you barely know each other.
00:59:31We know now.
00:59:33Easy, Betsy.
00:59:35I just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon.
00:59:38And if you really cared about Amelia, you would give her the time.
00:59:43And what makes you such an expert?
00:59:45I don't see a ring on your finger.
00:59:47Michelangelo.
00:59:48You probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now.
00:59:51It's no wonder Amelia was so uptight when I met her.
00:59:53She gets it from you.
00:59:55Are you going to let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:59:57You started it.
01:00:03Why don't we all just calm down?
01:00:06Betsy's just looking out for my best interests.
01:00:08No, she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her.
01:00:12That's not fair, Michelangelo.
01:00:14She's not been fair to me since she walked through the door.
01:00:16You're the horniest bastard in Beverly Hills.
01:00:18And you're a frigid, lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy.
01:00:22You know what?
01:00:22You can't talk to Betsy like that.
01:00:24That's my sister.
01:00:25She just survived cancer.
01:00:26That doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house.
01:00:32This is my house too, and she can say whatever she wants.
01:00:35Not to me.
01:00:36You know, maybe she should be concerned.
01:00:37I don't like this side of you.
01:00:39See, I told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other,
01:00:42but I guess the contract doesn't allow for that.
01:00:44You told her?
01:00:45She's my sister.
01:00:47I don't care.
01:00:47That violates our agreement.
01:00:49Oh, is that all I am to you?
01:00:51A contractual agreement?
01:00:52Some kind of obligation?
01:00:53It's not what I meant.
01:00:55It came out wrong, Amelia.
01:00:57I love you.
01:00:59You love me?
01:01:00Don't listen to him.
01:01:01He doesn't even know what that means.
01:01:03Shut the fuck up!
01:01:04You know what?
01:01:06Maybe she was right.
01:01:07I shouldn't have signed that contract.
01:01:09It's over.
01:01:09We need to get out of here.
01:01:17I've seen too many true crime documentaries on Netflix
01:01:19to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets.
01:01:25Amelia, I know this is hard to hear,
01:01:29but you did the right thing.
01:01:32You do so much better than him.
01:01:35Yeah.
01:01:36But he isn't a monster.
01:01:38I shouldn't have said that.
01:01:40We can talk about it on the road.
01:01:42Get packing, and if we leave now,
01:01:45we can get to Mexico by dawn.
01:01:46Lay low for a bit.
01:01:47Mexico?
01:01:48Or Canada.
01:01:50Whatever.
01:01:51It's that, or stay here and get sued
01:01:52by the Dino Lavinos.
01:01:55Or worse.
01:01:56I don't think Romulus and Michelangelo would sue us.
01:01:59I mean, I only told you about the contract.
01:02:02It's not like I told the media.
01:02:03You don't know that.
01:02:06We're liabilities.
01:02:08Lose ends.
01:02:09You should listen to more True Kind podcast.
01:02:15Get rid of that thing.
01:02:17They could be tracking us right now.
01:02:20Yeah, you know, Michelangelo did manage to follow me to the ecoplex the other night.
01:02:24See?
01:02:25He could have a sniper on us.
01:02:32It's Romulus.
01:02:33Hey, Romulus.
01:02:35What?
01:02:37What do you mean Gucci's missing?
01:02:39You came.
01:02:51Against my better judgment.
01:02:55I'm not happy you've been blowing me off.
01:02:57I've just been busy, but it's over with now.
01:03:01Well, you should punish me for straying.
01:03:08You make me sick.
01:03:10I make me sick.
01:03:11I make me sick.
01:03:11Nice underwear.
01:03:23It's a great craftsmanship.
01:03:24It's a great craftsmanship.
01:03:25Okay, let's get this over with.
01:03:34Is that all you have to say?
01:03:36Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:03:38I'm sorry, Chantel.
01:03:43I thought I wanted this.
01:03:46But I don't.
01:03:48I'm not the stud that I used to be.
01:03:53Amelia broke up with me.
01:03:59It feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes.
01:04:04Never in a million years did I think I'd fall for dog walker, but here I am.
01:04:08I am fucking devastated.
01:04:11And all I wish is I could take back how I acted.
01:04:14I just wanted to come back to me.
01:04:26Amelia?
01:04:28Hi, Dad.
01:04:31Gucci's gone?
01:04:32I'll be right there.
01:04:38Gucci, Gucci.
01:04:41Romulus.
01:04:41What?
01:04:42Hold on.
01:04:43Oh.
01:04:44Well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:04:48We're practically in the house, and then all of a sudden, he just shot off like a rocket.
01:04:53I've been calling him all night, but he won't come back!
01:04:57Well, we can help you find him.
01:05:00Yeah?
01:05:00Right?
01:05:01Oh.
01:05:03Good, thanks.
01:05:04Good.
01:05:05Gucci?
01:05:05This better not be a trap.
01:05:07Just come on.
01:05:11Gucci!
01:05:12Gucci!
01:05:13Gucci!
01:05:13Hey, hey, hey!
01:05:14Where's Michelangelo?
01:05:15Huh?
01:05:16I thought you were both together.
01:05:17Why isn't he here with you?
01:05:18Oh, um, he's...
01:05:20Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:05:22Where were you?
01:05:23I had to stop for late night delivery at Mastriani's.
01:05:27It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:05:28If this doesn't ring out of hiding, nothing will.
01:05:32Smart move, dude.
01:05:33Here, ladies.
01:05:34Take a piece of this prosciutto here.
01:05:36That's it.
01:05:41Amelia.
01:05:51Gucci!
01:05:53We've been looking for him all night long.
01:06:03We're never going to find him.
01:06:05Don't give up, Dad.
01:06:06He's just off having a little adventure.
01:06:08Keep looking.
01:06:08He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:06:11See?
01:06:12They're not going to kill us.
01:06:14I do have to admit, though,
01:06:16I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:06:19He's really there for his dad.
01:06:21His dad's dog.
01:06:23So you approve now?
01:06:25They didn't say that.
01:06:29Gucci!
01:06:32Gucci!
01:06:34My boy's back!
01:06:36Oh!
01:06:36Okay, okay.
01:06:44I'm a little closer to approving.
01:06:49I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:07:00A little.
01:07:03It's okay.
01:07:04Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:07:07They just leave out part of the story.
01:07:10Amelia.
01:07:12Can we talk?
01:07:16Please?
01:07:19Amelia.
01:07:20Can we talk?
01:07:23Please?
01:07:24Okay.
01:07:25Okay.
01:07:34Amelia.
01:07:35I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:07:39I shouldn't have attacked your sister,
01:07:42and I shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the contract.
01:07:44I hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement.
01:07:53Thanks for saying that.
01:07:56I needed to hear that.
01:07:59And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:08:02You're not one.
01:08:03I'm still learning new things about you.
01:08:07Most of them are good.
01:08:10I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:08:14I'm not.
01:08:17You're not?
01:08:18What do you mean?
01:08:20Amelia, this might sound crazy, but...
01:08:24I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:08:27And I don't want some silly piece of paper to be the reason that we stay together.
01:08:33I want to know that our love is real.
01:08:38Dad.
01:08:39What is this, son?
01:08:40I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia.
01:08:44Why, son?
01:08:46Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:08:50And not because of some legal obligation.
01:08:55But because she wants to.
01:08:56Consider our contract null and void.
01:09:11Amelia.
01:09:13What will it be?
01:09:16Will you marry me?
01:09:19Will you marry me?
01:09:22Yes.
01:09:23I'll marry you.
01:09:24You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world.
01:09:43And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:09:46Look at me.
01:09:47I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:09:49All right, all right, you two.
01:09:53That's enough, all right?
01:09:55We spent this whole night together.
01:09:57Come over to my place, all right?
01:09:59We'll have a nice breakfast, Italian style.
01:10:02Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:10:05I think I can get used to it.
01:10:07And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:10:10I want to hear from everybody involved.
01:10:13Especially Coldplay.
01:10:14We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:10:17It was worth a try.
01:10:18And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:10:44Michelangelo?
01:10:44Ah, Amelia.
01:10:51Even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're perfect together.
01:10:57I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time, and not just about dogs.
01:11:02I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:11:10I'm looking forward to your support and counsel as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:11:18And in return, I promise to be patient and a loving husband as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamt of.
01:11:36Amelia, you are the only thing better than free underwear.
01:11:40I love you so much.
01:11:43I never thought I would end up with a former man-thong model, but here we are.
01:11:56Michelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell, and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest.
01:12:01Something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:12:03And although we haven't spent much time together, it feels like a lifetime, in a good way.
01:12:15I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:12:17Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:12:19I love you.
01:12:20With the power vested in me by Almighty God and the city of Beverly Hills, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:12:28You may kiss your bride.
01:12:33Thanks.
01:12:39I'm Betsy.
01:12:41Amelia's sister.
01:12:42I'm Jake.
01:12:43Another dog walker.
01:12:46It's crazy.
01:12:47You know, giving my sister.
01:12:48But I've always been more of a cat person.
01:12:51Me too.
01:12:53Woo-hoo!
01:12:54Woo-hoo!
01:12:55Oh, that.
01:12:56Red dragon.
01:13:05Red dragon.
01:13:06Record by, short drama free.
01:13:08Follow for more.
01:13:09Bye-bye.
01:13:10Bye.
01:13:18Thanks for listening.
01:13:32Bye-bye.
01:13:33Bye-bye.
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