- yesterday
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Satsang with Mooji
00:30You're going down funny. I was thinking the same about you
01:00You have lost Meta Luna. Time to die. No, no.
01:30Is there no one big enough, strong enough, to defeat the mighty Spezor?
01:40Spezor to the Queen's platform, please. Spezor to the Queen's platform.
01:46Brunella, the door! Yes, oh mighty Queen.
02:02You wanted to see me, Empress? Spezor, your glory is always welcome here in my chambers.
02:10Thank you, Empress. You wanted to have words with me? I do.
02:18But first, the Tranya. I hope you relish it as much as I.
02:30To the next victory.
02:38Thank you, Empress.
02:42There will come a time when you will take my throne by force, as I did once with my superior.
02:50But I have some time yet, so I don't get any funny ideas. I have a few more thousand millennia.
02:56But we do have something to fix.
02:58And that is, well recently, I intercepted a thing called a wavelength.
03:02An old form of communication, very primitive. And I traced its origin to there.
03:08A little minuscule planet called Earth.
03:14Apparently inhabited by millions of miniature creatures. Weaklings all.
03:22But legend has it, that there is one amongst them. One great giantess.
03:28And that is our challenge most formidable.
03:34You need to go to planet Earth. Find this great giantess.
03:40Challenge her to a duel. And then we will broadcast live the bloodshed all over Buxomus.
03:47And it will be such great morale for the planets.
03:50This bitch have a name?
03:52She goes by the name Bethel A.
03:55Wrong. Her name is Toast.
04:04Your ass is mine now, bitch!
04:22My son is
04:27Now Cinch, your rookie of the U.S.
04:28And your beauty.
04:30That bellbell is a happy life.
04:32My character ability to separate weapons and fire hate toys,
04:34Which part of her olarak plays into Black Clover's piece.
04:36So when I decide something to do with elves before the twenties,
04:40It's hard to push.
04:41So theåæµ is moist.
04:42footage is loaded and got Denzel Puddy and:"
04:44Well, that is the villain ××ļæ½oten Baby."
04:47I'm giving a call to the truth.
04:48His Nokia Mexican himself has a great life.
06:20It's too that big to break down.
06:22How about it?
06:24I got it.
06:25Now that's what I call a foot job.
06:33How'd a baby had a big baby?
06:36Mom, I need you to take that one off the milk.
06:38I'll show you a big baby.
06:40Hey, how am I supposed to get a bar looking like this?
06:50Oh, does baby need his diaper changed?
06:54It's about time you took a shower.
07:02Is it Saturday already?
07:03You gonna do something about her?
07:05Probably gonna give her a raise.
07:07She's the best worker I have.
07:09Twice the work in half the time.
07:11I heard you already gave her a raise.
07:13Hey, that's enough.
07:14I won't have it.
07:14I don't know how it stands at all.
07:17She's a freak!
07:18One more word out of you and I'll...
07:19And you'll what?
07:22You sure you want to find out?
07:25Of course.
07:26I thought so.
07:28I'll get.
07:29Whistle already blew.
07:31You have fun with your fr...
07:33Girlfriend?
07:35I'll be filing a grievance with the union.
07:37Do whatever makes you feel big.
07:40Hey, Bev.
07:42Yeah?
07:43This guy's leaving.
07:45You wanna blow him a little kiss?
07:47You sure?
07:48Sure, I'm sure.
07:50Sure you won't get jealous?
07:51Come on, baby.
07:53Give me a big old smooch right in front of your man.
07:56You have anything else you wanna add?
08:08Good night, Mike.
08:09Good night, Ms. Beverly.
08:10I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning.
08:15You okay?
08:18Totally.
08:20Liar.
08:22They're right.
08:23I'm a big, freaky-deaky.
08:25Well, Ben, I'm a pinhead for liking you.
08:28You say the sweetest junk.
08:31By the way, it's payday.
08:33I already deposited your check into your account.
08:35You can check for yourself if you-
08:37I trust you.
08:39Thanks.
08:41I'll just need to work at this dirty place
08:43for the next zillion years
08:45to pay off all my lawsuits and bills.
08:48Why was it so bad?
08:51I didn't mean it like that.
08:52I appreciate all you've done for me.
08:55You're the only person who stood by my side.
08:58I get it.
08:59You're used to the life of Riley.
09:02This is my life of reality.
09:05It's not that.
09:06I don't miss the clothes and the money and the parties.
09:09I just would want to sleep in a real bed for once.
09:15Maybe someday.
09:17This is really hard for me.
09:20I was a self-made girl.
09:21I was so independent.
09:23Being 50 feet tall is like so five months ago.
09:26I was love-hated for so long
09:29and now I'm just hate-hated.
09:31What's better?
09:33Being admired by millions of strangers
09:35or knowing the love of one single person
09:38who has your heart?
09:40Hmm.
09:41Just kidding, you ghoul.
09:43You know you mean everything to me.
09:45It's just that
09:46I tried to do something really positive for the world
09:50and I ended up wrecking the entire city.
09:54All of my money gone overnight.
09:56My ex made sure of that.
09:58And even if I had all that money
09:59it still wouldn't make a dent
10:01in all my lawsuits for smashed houses,
10:05smudged power lines,
10:06and broken ribs or whatever.
10:09It's just like construction.
10:11I used to be the poster girl
10:13for obscene wealth and hotness
10:15and now I'm the poster girl
10:18for like a monster movie.
10:20I love monster movies.
10:26Having fun down there?
10:36You rock me, baby.
10:38Are we interrupting anything?
10:46Boy, what I wouldn't give to be him right now?
10:49Professional, remember?
10:50I guess.
10:52Hey dudes, doctor dudes, please.
10:55Lana.
10:55I mean, never mind.
10:59That's pointless.
11:00Thanks for coming down to the site.
11:02Must mean you got some good news, right?
11:04Not at all.
11:06You mean I'm getting worse?
11:07No, I mean,
11:08this is just a courtesy visit
11:10to assure you
11:11we're still thinking of your plight.
11:13We have no real results
11:15one way or another,
11:16so yeah, hi.
11:19How you doing?
11:19Still big AF.
11:26You're seriously writing that down?
11:28I'll research it later.
11:29It could be fortuitous.
11:30Most likely not.
11:32So no change in the results from last time?
11:34None at all.
11:35She's no smaller than she was before,
11:37but on the bright side,
11:38she's no larger.
11:40We think that's something.
11:41Like what?
11:43Fuchsia and Gary returned to normal size.
11:45Why them and not me?
11:47Inconclusive data, unfortunately.
11:48Our theory is
11:50they ate less of the substance than you.
11:53Beverly Woods and Holy Metrimony?
11:55Yes, that substance.
11:56I thought of that name myself.
11:58Also unfortunate.
11:59We want to run some more tests on them
12:02to see if we can string together
12:03a timeline of consumption and events.
12:05Then do it.
12:06Well, we have no blood or cell specimens
12:08at this moment right now.
12:09Why is that?
12:10Well, both of them are bopping their brains
12:12out in Hawaii for an indefinite amount of time.
12:14Dennis!
12:15Well, sorry.
12:17Don't worry, Bev.
12:18It'll happen.
12:19And if it doesn't, that's okay, too.
12:22Sorry to break that news, Miss Wood.
12:24You know, maybe this is me being selfish,
12:28which means I've matured a little bit.
12:30But I don't really care about them.
12:33I just care about me.
12:34And I don't want to be a freak forever.
12:36Gary ate only a little of the substance.
12:40Beverly Woods and Holy Metrimony.
12:42Yeah, that one.
12:43We're still unclear as to how much fuchsia ate.
12:46It could all just boil down to metabolism.
12:49It just hasn't worked its way out of your system
12:51as quickly as it did theirs.
12:52We have no explanation.
12:54Just theories.
12:56Sucks.
12:58Well, that's it.
12:59Sorry to say.
13:02Thank you, doctors, for keep on keeping on.
13:05We both appreciate you.
13:06We are working on this.
13:09And we'll be in contact
13:10if we find out anything at all.
13:12In the meantime,
13:13we're only just a phone call away.
13:16Call us for anything, Miss Wood,
13:18even if it's just emotional support.
13:22Make sure you ask for me, though.
13:25Let's leave these two.
13:26Computer, bring up intel on my challenger.
13:47That's her.
13:48That's the dead meat.
13:50Yeah.
13:52Enhance.
13:52Not that type of enhance.
13:57Oh, my stars and garters.
13:59I'm not sure what's gotten into me.
14:01Enhance.
14:04More enhance.
14:06Your face is so punchable.
14:10Come.
14:17Now, look.
14:19It's shooting star.
14:22Make a wish.
14:24I wish I was normal again.
14:30What's wrong?
14:32I used to be a star, burning bright.
14:34And now I'm like this big black hole of suckage.
14:39Don't say that, Bev.
14:40If space were an emoji, it'd be a sad face.
14:43Well, you definitely don't suck.
14:45It used to be my specialty.
14:48I'm so horny.
14:50And we can't do anything without you getting hurt.
14:53I've got just the thing.
14:59Really?
15:00Work?
15:01Now?
15:03Nope.
15:07Really?
15:08I like to think of it more as s-beloved.
15:20If I'm not back in half an hour, don't send help.
15:23We're out.
15:30Oh!
15:30Outro!
15:31Oh!
15:32Ah!
15:33Ah!
15:34Ah!
15:35Ah!
15:36Ah!
15:37Ah!
15:38Robrodomo!
15:49Wakey wakey, legs and sexy.
15:53Good morning!
15:58You, uh, really hammered me last night.
16:01Literally.
16:03Open those pretty peepers.
16:04I got a little surprise for you.
16:06What's that? Breakfast in bed or croissant in the quarry?
16:11Even better.
16:13Your fan club is here.
16:19Hey, you're my only fans.
16:22We love you, Miss Wood.
16:24We have a gift for you.
16:25What's that?
16:26Monday!
16:28Hey!
16:30Hey!
16:58Thank you, girls. Let's dance.
17:11Hi, I'm director Jim Wynorski, and I'm stopping this film right now.
17:16There's just too much gratuitous sex...
17:28Thank you so much. You really made me feel like a real girl again.
17:42No problem, Miss Wood. I want to be just like you when I grow up.
17:46Don't grow up too fast. Trust me.
17:49We love you, Beverly!
17:52I love you, too.
17:53Woohoo!
17:58You want me to fight that?
18:23It will be the biggest battle of all time. Literally.
18:26Look at her.
18:28I think you'd agree she has a few pounds on me. Not to mention an extra 45 feet.
18:34Details, details! Once you've grown to her size, this will be easy peasy. Giant squeezy.
18:40Grown to her size?
18:42We'll talk about that later.
18:43Damn right we will.
18:44You'll wipe the desert floor with her ass, and your booty will be rolling in the looting.
18:48I don't know. Your schemes are usually scams.
18:51I've got this.
18:52Every eyeball on earth will pay to see this big bitch battle royale with cheese.
18:59Big bitch battle royale with cheese!
19:03Aren't you afraid she's going to recognize you?
19:05She'll stomp on your head.
19:07My son, Bradley, okay, had a coming, okay? But it wasn't me who took advantage of her. He strung her along for years.
19:14Tell you the truth, I want to make her, and us, rich and famous again. And filthy, stinking, hawking rich!
19:20How's your son doing these days? I heard that motorboating accident really traumatized him.
19:27Traumatized? He almost killed him.
19:30From yesterday alone, Beverly Wood Branding received 3.2 million individual views across all brands.
19:37They live in their mom's basement because they spend all their money on you. The hottest girl on the internet.
19:42It's what the fans want. Scientists!
19:45A good morning all depends on the mood of Beverly, and her mood depends on if this is ready or not.
19:51Well, there's still some tests that need to be done.
19:54Well, it's not a real carrot. I mean, it looks real, but it's a Beverly Wood carrot.
19:58Right, so what kind of side effects are we talking about here?
20:00Death.
20:02Gastrobloating.
20:02Total and severe body melt.
20:04One small bite for a visionary entrepreneur woman. One giant leap for ambassador kind.
20:11Yeah, well, whatever it is, I'm sure it's no...
20:15No, no, no!
20:27What's your fantasy crap, baby?
20:30Two girls!
20:35No!
20:37No!
20:42So big.
20:43So big.
20:47They're so...
20:48So big.
20:49Good afternoon, Mr. Fortunova.
20:51Are you ready for some lunch?
20:53No, no, no!
20:55So big!
20:57How about having just a little milk?
21:00Ah!
21:02Take it away!
21:04Ah!
21:06I can't take them anymore!
21:09Doctor said he may never recover.
21:12Why would he want to?
21:12He may spend the rest of his days in the booby hatch!
21:16Careful what you wish for, I guess.
21:19You know, if you'll excuse me, I have a big deal to propose.
21:23Wish me luck!
21:24Go get her, Tiger!
21:25What the hell am I getting myself into?
21:35What the hell am I getting myself into?
21:35Uh...
21:36Excuse me, Miss Wood!
21:44Do I know you?
21:46Um, not really.
21:48No.
21:49You're kind of busy here, fella.
21:50This will only take a minute of your time, but I assure you, it'll be worth it.
21:56Millions worth it.
21:58Beat it, creep.
21:59I'm done with pervs.
22:01I am not your everyday run-of-the-mill perm.
22:04Trust me.
22:05Ew!
22:06Get lost.
22:07Bye.
22:08Hear me out!
22:09And you look like someone I used to know, so double ew.
22:14Father and the lady, pal?
22:15This is private property.
22:16I suggest you turn around and go back the way you came.
22:19Please listen!
22:20I can help with the bills, uh, lawsuits, everything!
22:25You can pay all that off?
22:27Are you a lawyer?
22:28Uh, ha!
22:29I'm not that sleazy, pal.
22:30I'm a promoter.
22:31Promoter of what?
22:32Events of the highest end.
22:34Total quality!
22:35Name one.
22:36Okay, well, to be honest, this would be the first of this caliber, but trust me, no one has
22:39ever done this.
22:40I'm not going to be the first of this caliber, but trust me, no one has ever done this.
22:44I'm not going to be the first of this caliber, but I'm not going to be the first of
22:47this caliber, but trust me, no one has ever done this in the history of mankind.
22:51I think you need to turn tail and get.
22:54Let him talk.
22:56Everyone deserves a chance.
22:58Thank you, Beverly.
23:00Miss Wood.
23:01So, what are you proposing?
23:03Well, 50 million bucks.
23:06Win or lose.
23:07Win or lose to what?
23:09Does it even matter?
23:11There's nobody else like me, and I'm a crazy bitch, so...
23:16I like that spunk!
23:18I don't like this.
23:19It doesn't sound right.
23:20That money sounds pretty right to me!
23:22About right.
23:23But you haven't said who or what she's winning or losing against.
23:27Winning?
23:28It doesn't matter, Beth.
23:30It's not worth it.
23:36Her?
23:38Definitely winning.
23:39You think you're so big and tough?
23:42I am, though.
23:44The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
23:47And, bitch, you're the biggest.
23:49You're going to fall so hard, your lips are going to flush.
23:52Does anyone hear that tiny, annoying, little buzzing sound?
23:57Get me my fly swatter.
23:59I'm going to crawl up your ass and turn you inside out.
24:03Yeah?
24:04Well, I'm going to floss my teeth with your scrawny boy body.
24:08You're going to taste what the conda is saying.
24:12Okay, wait.
24:13We talked about this.
24:14You can't say this.
24:15Sorry.
24:16You're going down!
24:18Way!
24:19Way down!
24:20Uh-huh.
24:21Yeah-huh.
24:22Uh-huh.
24:23Uh-huh.
24:24Uh-huh.
24:25Uh-huh.
24:26Uh-huh.
24:27Uh-huh.
24:28Uh-huh!
24:29Okay, ladies!
24:30Save it for the events!
24:32Okay.
24:34Totally.
24:36See you then.
24:37Ladies.
24:38I like your helmet, FYI.
24:40Thank you!
24:42I-I-I don't like this at all.
24:45How-how is this even going to happen?
24:47Your girl doesn't stand a chance.
24:49Beverly could seriously hurt her without trying at all.
24:52Don't worry.
24:53Let me work out the details.
24:55Okay.
24:56When is this supposed to go down?
24:58Give me about a month.
24:59Okay?
25:00I-I need to advertise, sell tickets, promote.
25:03Anna needs to grow.
25:05I'll say that again.
25:07Into character.
25:08A-Anna needs to grow into character.
25:12I don't like this.
25:14You will!
25:17This could be my out.
25:19I don't think so.
25:22It certainly looks like it could be the one.
25:32Could it be?
25:33It could.
25:34But, none of them have been so far.
25:35The aroma's correct, if I recall.
25:36It smells like snozzages.
25:37Well then, no.
25:38I was going for gravy train.
25:39I personally like the smell of it.
25:40And my dog Poochy loves it.
25:41One can, one can anaconda try.
25:42Well, I don't see any reason why we can-
25:44Not yet.
25:45It isn't ready.
25:46Well, I don't see any reason why we can.
25:47Well, I don't see any reason why we can.
25:48This is, this is, this is, this is ludicrous!
25:49Okay, wheels are already in motion.
25:50I'm paying you money for, for results!
25:51I don't know.
25:52What's the difference?
25:53I don't know.
25:54I don't know.
25:55I'm not sure.
25:56But, none of them have been so far.
25:57The aroma's correct, if I recall.
25:58It smells like snozzages.
25:59Well then, no.
26:00I was going for gravy train.
26:01I personally like the smell of it.
26:03And my dog Poochy loves it.
26:04One can, one can anaconda try it.
26:07Well, I don't see any reason why we can't.
26:08Not yet!
26:09It isn't ready.
26:10Well, I don't see any reason why we can't.
26:12This is, this is, this is ludicrous!
26:14Okay, wheels are already in motion.
26:16I'm paying you money for, for results!
26:19For the record, I am categorically opposed to any of this.
26:24It isn't right.
26:26What happened to Beverly Wood was a gross miscalculation on our part.
26:30We still don't know of any long haul side effects.
26:32Like total body implosion?
26:34Would you get over the total body implosion already?
26:36It can happen.
26:37Yes, it could be a possibility.
26:41Finally, you admit it.
26:45That doesn't sound cool at all.
26:47It isn't.
26:48I really don't want to melt, Brian.
26:50Oh.
26:51Oh, you won't, baby.
26:52I promise, Ish.
26:54I assure you, you won't melt.
26:56If anything, total body implosion.
26:59Hashtag, here we go again.
27:00Okay, the minute something happens, contact me.
27:03I've got a fight to promote!
27:06Let's go.
27:11This is it, this is it.
27:12Turn it up, turn it up.
27:13Jack Jackson here.
27:14Hot off the presses, ladies, gentlemen, and sports fans of all stripes and types.
27:15Gee whiz!
27:16I don't know where the hell this came from or what the hell they were thinking, but I know I'll be watching.
27:21Fortune over promotions dropped word of this David and Goliath story just a few minutes ago, featuring former socialite and social media star influencer, along with a slew of other job titles that aren't really jobs, Beverly Woods.
27:36You might remember her as the 50-foot demolitionist who crushed half the city with her hind end.
27:53She will be on the bill against newcomer Anaconda.
27:57Boy, I'd like to see how she got that name in an all-out, no-holds-barred, good old-fashioned catfight.
28:03Not unlike the one happening right behind me.
28:06The promoter called this one Lord of the Girl Gantulas.
28:10Jesus Christ sucking down a fruit cup.
28:14That poor girl.
28:15Expect a bloodbath here, gang.
28:17Tale of the Tate says that Anaconda stands a towering five-foot-nothing.
28:22She's gonna need an extra bowl of Wheaties that morning, I tell you.
28:27What's that?
28:28Condescent Lady Bubbles on fire.
28:31Folks, this might just give her the edge she needs in this bout.
28:35We're gonna have to find out until more freaky news rolls in.
28:38This is Jack Jackson saying, keep hitting and kicking those balls.
28:44Oh my God, that was so exciting to see my face on TV again.
28:49I still don't know about this.
28:51Don't know about what? That was definitely my face.
28:53Yeah, I know that. And it's gorgeous.
28:56But to be honest, I don't like any of this.
28:59I feel like they're exploiting you all over again.
29:02But now I know I am. Now I can control it.
29:05I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
29:07With 50 million dollars, the only other shoe that's gonna drop is my custom Prada.
29:14Just kidding. I'm a working girl wearing working boots.
29:19But that money will really help us dig out and set up.
29:23I suppose so.
29:25I know so. You deserve to be pampered too. You've been so good to me.
29:31I don't know.
29:32Mike, as if you didn't know it already, my entire giant heart belongs only to you.
29:38I'm never gonna go back to my old ways. You've taught me what's really important.
29:42What's that?
29:43It's the little things that matter. And you're pretty little, bud.
29:48Computer!
29:49Yeah?
29:50Scan for that big little bitch.
30:03Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, beep, beep, boo, boo, boo, boo.
30:05Bleh!
30:06Gah!
30:07Computer!
30:11Scan for that big little bitch.
30:19Gah!
30:29This could be it.
30:31Cross your digits.
30:33This needs to happen now!
30:37You've said that 20 times already.
30:39Well, this time I mean it!
30:41It's fight night!
30:45If this fails,
30:47it means you fail.
30:49Which means I fail.
30:51And I don't fail.
30:53You'll read me?
30:55Yeah.
30:57Okay.
30:59So, who's gonna eat it?
31:01Do you care who eats it?
31:03No.
31:05Well, then you eat it!
31:07No, no, no, no. You eat it.
31:09No, no, no. I insist.
31:11No, I insist.
31:13I insist infinity times squared.
31:15Because I was tired of being surrounded by morons.
31:17Yet, here I am.
31:19The purpose of the experiment was to replicate and cure world hunger.
31:25The gigantism is an undesirable side effect.
31:29Don't you get it?
31:31It doesn't have to be eaten.
31:33It just has to replicate.
31:35That's the first step.
31:37If it replicates, we know we're on the right track.
31:43Fuck that shit.
31:45Shit. I ain't eatin' that.
31:59Who are you bettin' on?
32:01Are you crazy?
32:03Of course my money's on the jolly pink giant over there.
32:05You don't even like her!
32:07I'm makin' money.
32:09What if I told you that anaconda gal sets her major yabos on fire for fun?
32:13That's half the youth of today.
32:15They're nuts!
32:17I'm still betting it all on Bev.
32:19Why don't you two take a long break?
32:27Hey Bev!
32:29Hey Mike!
32:31Can you come over here so we can talk for a second?
32:33Is everything okay?
32:35No, I don't know.
32:37What is it?
32:39This fight.
32:41There's something that's been nagging at me.
32:43I mean, you're a big girl.
32:45Ha ha.
32:47You know what I mean.
32:49You're gonna make your own decisions and do what you wanna do.
32:53But I just want you to know that I wish you would reconsider.
32:57Why is that?
32:59Because I care about you, that's why.
33:03Because I love you.
33:05That's also why.
33:07Really?
33:09You've never told me that before.
33:11Well, it needed to be said.
33:13Because it's true.
33:15Then, say it again.
33:19I love you, Beverly Wood.
33:21I love you too, Mike!
33:23I've wanted to tell you for so long, but I was scared of being the first person to say it.
33:31Now, about this fight.
33:33You've supported me for so long through the good and the bad.
33:37Way bad.
33:39Mostly bad.
33:41I like where this is going.
33:43And I'm not just doing it for me.
33:45I'm doing it for us.
33:47I just hope you can see from my perspective.
33:49I wish I could from this vantage point.
33:51Literally.
33:52So many bald spots up here.
33:54I'm not doing this just for me.
33:56I'm doing this for us.
33:58Sounds like you've made up your mind.
34:00So let's do this the only way we know how.
34:03And how's that?
34:05Big.
34:06I love you so much.
34:08I want the whole world to hear it.
34:11I love you, Mike!
34:13I love you, Mike!
34:15I love you, Mike!
34:16I love you, Mike!
34:17I love you, Mike!
34:18I love you, Mike!
34:19I love you, Mike!
34:20I love you, Mike!
34:21Computer.
34:22Yes?
34:23Locate the source of that hideous sound.
34:26Oh, I got you, girl.
34:28J.G. Randall, on location at Oil Bebeck Refinery.
34:44This site has been pumping food for almost a century.
34:47But in less than a month, the main event happening here
34:50will be a heart-pumping excitement
34:52the likes we've never seen before.
34:54This is War of the Girl Gantulas.
34:58On one side, the once popular, now polarizing,
35:01social media bombshell, Beverly Wood.
35:0450 feet tall, and God knows how much she weighs.
35:07On the other side, rising star, the squared circle and beyond,
35:11Anaconda.
35:13Clocky man at five foot four, and...
35:16Listen, don't ask a woman how much she weighs, okay?
35:19Just don't do it.
35:20Anyway.
35:21This is War of the Girl Gantulas.
35:28We're fortunate to have both opponents with us today.
35:30We both have set aside their beads for this exclusive interview.
35:34Who are we rooting for?
35:35Who is the villain?
35:36Anna, can you tell us why did you choose this fight?
35:40Why this hill to die on?
35:42Because you are gonna die.
35:43You know that, right?
35:46Beverly, same question.
35:48I'm strictly about the money.
35:50Fair enough.
35:52This isn't about the money for me.
35:55Never, ever.
35:57Then what is it exactly?
36:00Fame.
36:02Maybe the money?
36:06By the way, your hair?
36:08It's crunchy.
36:09That's something coming from the Burlington Throat Factory.
36:20These ladies know how to go straight for the jugular.
36:23You're not gonna wanna miss this one, gang.
36:25Call your pay-per-view provider today, one month away, one night only.
36:28This is War of the Girl Gantulas.
36:31Back to you, Jack.
36:32And there you have it, folks.
36:34Crunchy hair?
36:35Don't care.
36:36Who will be victorious at the War of the Girl Gantulas?
36:41Today is Monday the 21st.
36:42Dr. Dennis has pulled the specimen from the solution and placed it on the plate.
36:54What trial number is this?
36:56This is trial number 69.
36:58I'm sorry.
36:59I'm sorry.
37:00I'm sorry.
37:01I'm sorry.
37:02What trial number is this again?
37:05This is trial number 69.
37:08I'm sorry.
37:09I'm sorry.
37:10That's wrong.
37:11What is so funny about 69?
37:13Oh, it's funny.
37:14Nothing at all.
37:15Classic.
37:16Oh, ew.
37:17I get it.
37:18And I'm ignoring you.
37:19Tromp the dice.
37:20Ah, my favorite dinosaur.
37:21Well?
37:22Well?
37:23Get on with it.
37:24No failure.
37:25Well, here goes nothing.
37:26And when I say nothing, please, please don't be nothing.
37:28Maybe a good luck drum roll?
37:29Okay.
37:30So, this is the trial number 60.
37:31What do you think?
37:32I'm sorry.
37:33I'm sorry.
37:34I'm sorry.
37:35I'm sorry.
37:36I'm sorry.
37:37I'm sorry.
37:38I'm sorry.
37:39I'm sorry.
37:40I'm sorry.
37:41I'm sorry.
37:42I'm sorry.
37:43I'm sorry.
37:44I'm sorry.
37:45I'm sorry.
37:46I'm sorry.
37:47I'm sorry.
37:48So, that's like flaccid.
37:52Nothing.
37:54And now we commence trial number 70.
37:57Any jokes about that one?
37:59Oh, no, because you know why?
38:0070's not funny!
38:01Because I've always thought 70 is a much livelier number.
38:06Am I right, ladies?
38:18It's 69, it is!
38:20It's incredible!
38:21It's in-edible!
38:23Oh, no!
38:24No, no, no, no!
38:25No, no, no, no!
38:26I said incredible, not edible.
38:30So what now?
38:32Total body implosion.
38:34Oh, no!
38:36What gives?
38:50If we're gonna go through with this, you gotta be prepared.
38:53Get up, let's get cracking.
38:55I'm gonna teach you to wrestle, how to box, and how to bite.
39:06Chicks don't fight fair, believe me.
39:11If you're gonna box, you want your hands up high and guard your head, right?
39:16Right?
39:16Don't throw out here, because then they're gonna hit you right here.
39:18Tight.
39:19Tight.
39:20Everything tight.
39:21Right?
39:22Just don't throw one punch, just throw multiple punches.
39:24One, two, three, four.
39:26Right?
39:27Then you do it fast.
39:29All right?
39:30Once you're punching, now, you're gonna throw a kick, right?
39:33Straight forward.
39:36All right, you want to go straight at her, right in her nose.
39:43Nice wrecking boot.
39:45Yeah, fits what we got.
39:48And then she comes running at you.
39:50You're gonna run from she's gonna come try to grab you.
39:52You want to jump down, grab, and come up, and then you'll slam her down.
40:01This is not gonna be easy.
40:03Oscar.
40:04Holy Carl, say again.
40:25Say again?
40:26Holy Carl, say again.
40:28We've done it.
40:29Yes!
40:29We can get Beverly back to normal.
40:31Computer.
40:35What?
40:37Location of the source.
40:38Girl, I don't even know.
40:40Do it!
40:41God!
40:42I was paying my circuits.
40:45I call them that because they're sure cute.
40:47No!
40:48Okay!
40:50Sheesh!
40:51Go that-a-way.
40:53No!
40:54Go that-a-way!
40:57Your ass is mine now, bitch!
41:07Miss Wood!
41:09Miss Wood!
41:09Beverly!
41:10Hey.
41:11We did it!
41:12We really did it!
41:14Congratulations!
41:15I knew you wouldn't die a virgin.
41:17Oh, well, ew.
41:18That wasn't what I was talking about.
41:19Not even close.
41:21I'm sure there's still time.
41:23Beverly.
41:24We've successfully recreated the mystery modified protein.
41:28Beverly Woods unholy.
41:30Mitrimony!
41:31I know, I know.
41:31Yes, that one.
41:32I named.
41:33How about yourself?
41:34What an achievement.
41:35The point is, the re-experiment is a success.
41:38The hot dog replicated.
41:40Woo-hoo.
41:43Honestly, I'm a bit shocked.
41:44I thought you'd be beside yourself.
41:46I'm one big bitch, not two.
41:50I don't think you're quite grasping this,
41:52so let me be more specific.
41:54This means we can reverse engineer the specimen.
41:58Beverly Woods unholy.
41:59Stop it!
42:00Just stop it!
42:00It's literally the worst name
42:03for a world-changing product ever!
42:06I liked it.
42:06I thought it was rad.
42:07You would.
42:08Beverly Woods would.
42:11Experiment success!
42:14You small now!
42:19You mean you successfully recreated the meat experiment
42:23and reverse-synthesized it
42:25so that I can be a normal-sized human again?
42:27Yes, exactly.
42:28Why didn't you just say that?
42:30I really don't know.
42:31Yay!
42:33Goodbye, big bitch.
42:34Hello, shoe and panty shopping spree.
42:37Yay!
42:37Retail therapy!
42:39Could this thing work?
42:40Per our calculations,
42:42I'm confident
42:43to a one-tenth of a percentile
42:46of a 100% success.
42:49This can and will happen, baby!
42:52Hmm.
42:53What's wrong?
42:54I thought this is what you wanted.
42:57More than anything in the world,
42:58to be normal-sized again.
43:00To really be with Mike.
43:02Then why the hashtag sad face?
43:04The fight.
43:06It's tomorrow.
43:07Then hold off.
43:08We really need the money.
43:11Look at me.
43:12I'm shaking.
43:14That explains the tremors.
43:17Screw it.
43:18How soon can we do this?
43:19How soon can you be at my lab?
43:22Color me gone.
43:23And pink.
43:24A tall stack snack.
43:54Where are you?
43:56A little something for good luck tomorrow.
43:59Not that you're gonna need it.
44:01And, uh,
44:03show you how much I love you.
44:07Bev, honey?
44:10My tall stack snack?
44:14Where are you?
44:20There you are.
44:24Not who you were expecting, huh?
44:31What the hell is this?
44:33The edge I needed.
44:35Oh, this is not good.
44:37You don't know what you're messing with.
44:39I do.
44:40And I love it.
44:42I have always been bigger than life.
44:45A woman eventually grows into herself.
44:50I just needed a little something to get me there.
44:54You're even bigger than she is now.
44:5660 feet and worth the climb.
45:01Well, wait.
45:01If the doctors made you tall, then maybe they could reverse it.
45:06Why would anybody not want this?
45:09No, it is a curse.
45:11Trust me.
45:12Spoken like the little bug of a man that you are.
45:16Does-does Beverly know about this?
45:18About you?
45:19Wanted to reveal myself.
45:21Just before the fight.
45:24Watch her cower.
45:25The ultimate mindfuck.
45:29Where is she?
45:31I wish I knew.
45:33She better not be a no-show tomorrow.
45:36Or else.
45:38Or else what?
45:39Or else this!
45:40Or else this!
46:10Or else this!
46:40And here we are, sports fans.
46:46The Day of Judgment.
46:47Known around the world as War of the Girl Gantuas.
46:50Beverly Woods.
46:51Anaconda.
46:52An epic catfight taking place right here at Oil B. Backly Finery.
46:57Who will be victorious?
46:58And who will be suffering the agony of the fetish?
47:02Sorry.
47:03Cordian slipped there.
47:04Who will suffer the agony of the feminism?
47:08Now, that sounds bad, too.
47:11I guess.
47:12Who will be going home with their tail between their legs?
47:15Ah, shit.
47:18Ah, fuck it.
47:19Keep it.
47:20Nobody cares about me anymore.
47:21Let's check in with our opponents.
47:23Shall we?
47:31I knew it.
47:36She's too chicken to show.
47:38Oh, no, she's around here somewhere.
47:42Do you see her?
47:44I mean, you can't really miss her.
47:46She's here.
47:48All right.
47:49She's going to show.
47:50She's probably getting a pep talk from her little rock digger friend.
47:53She's scared.
47:55You've got the element of surprise.
47:57Nobody.
47:58Nobody could have expected you.
48:01All of you.
48:03What if she doesn't show?
48:04I'll look stupid.
48:06If she doesn't, she forfeits.
48:07And a win is a win.
48:10I came here for a glorious bloodbath.
48:13This is not a glorious bloodbath.
48:15Jack Jackson reporting on this colossal event of epic proportions.
48:35Breaking all recorded pay-per-view records.
48:37There are a lot of freaks out there in the home audience.
48:40All tuning in for...
48:41Beverly Woods.
48:45Anaconda.
48:47Who will survive and what will be left of them?
48:49The main event starts right here.
48:51Right now, let's get to it.
48:53Hey, where the hell is she?
48:55No idea.
48:57Well, find her.
48:58You know how much is riding on this.
49:04Do you think we're safe standing here?
49:07Absolutely.
49:07No question about it.
49:09So, were you able to shrink her down?
49:11Trust me.
49:12Just stay with me.
49:15Hope you didn't do anything stupid, Bev.
49:24We seem to be missing one of the girls.
49:26Beverly Wood is missing.
49:29She's too scared to show her face without a filter?
49:32Come on!
49:33I want to fight somebody who wants to come down and tussle!
49:39I don't want to waste my murder mode.
49:42Greetings, sluts.
49:57I have traveled the reaches of time and space to meet the call of battle.
50:05Oh, my God.
50:09I don't even know what the hell this is.
50:11But let's watch and find out.
50:14You will answer that call.
50:15Or I will hang up on your ass.
50:17Who the hell are you?
50:19I am Space War!
50:21Reigning warrior champion of Buximus and beyond.
50:25Space War?
50:26Fool!
50:27Another slip of the tongue and you will be choked with it!
50:31For I am Space War!
50:33That's what I said!
50:34Space War!
50:36Space War!
50:37Yeah, Space War...
50:40Insolence.
50:42In a serious turn of events, a Space War, presumably a whore from space, has challenged our lone contestant.
50:49This could be pretty cool.
50:51You will accept my challenge, or you will die.
50:54Well, accept or not, and you will die.
50:57The choice is not yours.
50:59Get it?
51:00Tramp?
51:01Shut your Space War mouth and get your ass down here and face me like a real woman.
51:08A real woman?
51:10Nay, for I am not passive-aggressive.
51:12I'm aggressive-aggressive.
51:14Get your ass down here!
51:16You will soon feel my wrath!
51:18Earth insect.
51:20Beverly Wood.
51:20Beverly Wood?
51:22I'm not Beverly Wood, I'm Anaconda!
51:25Lies!
51:26For there is only one giant amongst your kind, and it is thine, Beverly Wood.
51:31You got the wrong bitch, bitch!
51:34You will do battle with me, or all will suffer the consequences of your cowardice.
51:40And when I win, I will bring your head to my home planet as a trophy, and all your wussy race will be enslaved.
51:48Earth will bite the big one.
51:49And if I win, you will not.
51:59It's up to you, baby!
52:00For every 13 Earth seconds you make me wait for a decision, I will destroy a beloved monument of your people.
52:06Why 13 seconds?
52:07Why 13 seconds?
52:08That's so random!
52:09That's so random!
52:10Deal with it!
52:11Fate-to-Earth time conversion is a real bitch!
52:15To prove the gravity of the situation, behold...
52:19How do you like those space apples?
52:26I kinda like it.
52:29Time is running out!
52:30You have to listen to me!
52:31You have to listen to me!
52:32I am Anna Conda, not Beverly Woods!
52:35Three, two, one!
52:36Time's up!
52:37It's kind of a fetish, right?
52:38Do you heed the warrior's call?
52:40I'm thinking.
52:41Cause I kinda like how you're redecorating.
52:43Three, two, one!
52:44Gotcha!
52:45No!
52:46Had enough.
52:47I'm telling you, you got the wrong girl!
52:48I am Anna Conda, not Beverly Woods!
52:50I don't care if you're Gertrude, my Killikati!
52:51Fight me or perish!
52:52You kinda gotta do it, right?
52:53No!
52:54I'm a fan of Beverly Woods!
52:55Do you heed the warrior's call?
52:56I'm thinking.
52:57Cause I kinda like how you're redecorating.
52:58Three, two, one!
52:59No!
53:00Had enough.
53:01I'm telling you, you got the wrong girl!
53:02I am Anna Conda, not Beverly Woods!
53:05I am Anna Conda, not Beverly Woods!
53:08I don't care if you're Gertrude, my Killikati!
53:11Fight me or perish!
53:12You kinda gotta do it, right?
53:14No fight, no money!
53:16This isn't about the money.
53:19This is about saving Earth.
53:21Whatever fills your jugs, babe.
53:23Okay, Space Snatch.
53:25Let's rumble!
53:27I thought you'd never ask!
53:30Woohoo!
53:31Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
53:38Shall we?
53:39Hell yeah!
53:41Yeah!
53:50Oh, oh my god!
53:51Ah!
54:07You're turning on the planet!
54:08You're turning on the planet!
54:10You're turning on the planet!
54:11You're turning!
54:12Oh my god!
54:13Ah!
54:14Ah!
54:15You're turning!
54:16I'm failing a thing, that's a trick!
54:28I'm failing a thing, that's a trick!
54:56Give us this never!
54:58I knew you were a dumbass hoe!
55:00Your head is going to look so good about my missiles!
55:04Hey!
55:10God, your timing sucks, Bev.
55:12Get off my planet, bitch!
55:16Who the frick are you?
55:20Hell yeah!
55:26You!
55:46I love you, Beverly!
55:48I believe in you!
55:50Welcome
55:52Leuten
55:54Girl, you're done! Tits up!
55:58You must do what needs to be done!
56:00girl you're done tits up you must do what needs to be done i promised my boyfriend i wouldn't get
56:22stupid drunk anymore not that the ultimate finish pee in the streets and crawl home
56:28you dumb ass hoes then what you must end me here everyone's watching kill me you have to kill me
56:39for the love of petunia ew not ew it is the warrior's way to not shame me by killing me like some totally
56:49lame loser hold that thought what are we gonna do with her just that we left the bitch ew harsh
56:58that's what she wants what mike taught me about being an actually good person is you can't always
57:04get what you want yeah bad holy moly folks this was the most amazing thing i've ever seen i don't think
57:12i'm gonna be forgetting about it anytime soon are you of course you won't this is jack jackson closing
57:19out the show here at oil be back refinery all she needs is a really good spanking i think you're right
57:27good riddance yay earth
57:37oh really now that was one and done i'm just so happy to be living another day
57:46i'll allow it congratulations you know what just came to me i think i can get you two double booked
57:55in vegas that's what happens when friends set aside their differences right are we friends now
58:02yes best of besties yay i've never had one great job ladies i am so proud of both of you
58:14hey everyone we're all gonna get laid
58:19beverly beverly beverly why can't you see beverly oh beverly play tricks on me
58:46how can i leave something's got a hold on me
58:52cause i can count your kisses one one two three
59:01girlfriend play house with me
59:10girlfriend
59:15girlfriend
59:16dark times will be
59:18girlfriend
59:23stay with me
59:27beverly
59:32oh beverly
59:34beverly
59:36beverly
59:38a
59:39i
59:42i
59:43i
59:45i
59:46i
59:47i
59:49i
59:51i
59:52i
59:54i
59:55i
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