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Married To A Superstar As The Housewife – Full Movie (2025)
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You and your husband are so sweet.
00:00:02You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:00:05Sweet?
00:00:06We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:00:11Look at them!
00:00:12That's what we call sweet.
00:00:14I wish my hubby was like that.
00:00:17Fuck! That's actually my husband!
00:00:19You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
00:00:21Aubrey!
00:00:22Let me sprint!
00:00:24Wait!
00:00:25Wait!
00:00:26Stop!
00:00:27All right, enough!
00:00:32Cut it out!
00:00:33I wouldn't have to be out here messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
00:00:40Look at yourself.
00:00:41Sloppy.
00:00:42You're rude.
00:00:44Totally unfeminine.
00:00:47I want a divorce.
00:00:49Crazy lady.
00:00:57Karma will get that scumbag.
00:01:00No need for karma.
00:01:01I can handle this myself.
00:01:02Hand me the car key.
00:01:13Chris.
00:01:14Leo snucked the role you wanted.
00:01:16No way.
00:01:17Why him?
00:01:18I cannot understand that.
00:01:20He has fewer Instagram followers than me and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
00:01:25The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:01:29Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:01:33But what about you?
00:01:34You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:01:39What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years.
00:01:46But she's married and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her.
00:01:50You think that would lend me the role?
00:01:52Sounds more like excused me.
00:01:54That's not good enough, huh?
00:01:56All right.
00:01:57Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her?
00:02:01Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:02:06Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:02:09But the problem is, you're just making this up on the spot.
00:02:13All right.
00:02:16I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:02:23Damn it!
00:02:24Fuck.
00:02:31I'm so sorry.
00:02:32Are you nuts?
00:02:33Nuts?
00:02:36Is that all your men got?
00:02:38Yeah.
00:02:39I'm nuts.
00:02:40But you guys, eat don't cook by nuts.
00:02:42Sleep with nuts.
00:02:43Have kids with nuts.
00:02:44You are the real nuts here.
00:02:46No offense.
00:02:47But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:02:49I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:02:54Only supermodels!
00:02:58Screw you for Chris Roberts!
00:03:00I sold the house.
00:03:01You've got till tonight to move out.
00:03:02Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:03:03If you want to divorce me, fight!
00:03:04Go ahead!
00:03:05But how dare you sell our house without my consent!
00:03:11I'll sue you!
00:03:12I sold the house. You've got till tonight to move out. Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:03:23If you want to divorce me, fine! Go ahead! But how dare you sell our house without my consent! I'll sue you!
00:03:35I think you can afford a lawyer. Don't mess with me or apply for the custody for our staff.
00:03:40A jobless house like what you won't stand a chance.
00:03:43Despicable!
00:03:45So, you divorced?
00:03:47It's none of your business!
00:03:49Marry me!
00:03:57Are you insane?
00:03:59My car's worth 4 million dollars. You want to talk about marriage or compensation?
00:04:09This way, ma'am.
00:04:14We'll trust that, ma'am.
00:04:17Welcome, ma'am.
00:04:33Wow!
00:04:34So it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
00:04:37I've seen it in a magazine.
00:04:47So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:04:56No.
00:04:57This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:04:59Yours is upstairs.
00:05:00Bigger and better.
00:05:02Forget that.
00:05:03Come sign the contract.
00:05:08Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:05:10Sorry, what's your name again?
00:05:12Aubrey.
00:05:13Okay.
00:05:14Aubrey, listen to me.
00:05:16I love you for more than 10 years.
00:05:19I heard that you're divorced.
00:05:22So, I popped the question right away.
00:05:25What?
00:05:26Really?
00:05:27Are you kidding me?
00:05:29Aubrey, this marriage is just for show.
00:05:31I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:05:35Relax.
00:05:36Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:05:39Great!
00:05:40That's amazing!
00:05:41Once I secure the role and back that Oscar,
00:05:44we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:05:48So we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:05:52Might as well say, so that do us a part.
00:05:55Don't worry about that.
00:05:57I'm gonna pay you an acting salary.
00:05:59The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:06:02You're Chris Roberts.
00:06:03Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:06:06Considering our attitude, I'm gonna go with minimum wage.
00:06:09Usually, they pay around 500 grand.
00:06:11And now, 150k.
00:06:13That's enough for you.
00:06:16Per year?
00:06:17Per month, of course.
00:06:31So you have a son?
00:06:33Don't get me wrong.
00:06:34Just want to know more about my wife.
00:06:42Yeah.
00:06:43His name is Luke.
00:06:44He's nine.
00:06:46In summer camp,
00:06:47I'm aware of the divorce.
00:06:49Good lord.
00:06:59That looks calorie packed.
00:07:02First, it's not for you.
00:07:04Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:07:08Geez.
00:07:09Touchy.
00:07:10It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:07:14Keep that up.
00:07:15Another thing.
00:07:16Clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:07:17We're meeting the director.
00:07:20Already?
00:07:22This is your first time stepping out as my wife
00:07:24and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:07:27Need to dress up nicely, alright?
00:07:28Because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife.
00:07:31Come on.
00:07:32This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:07:36I'll solve this problem right now.
00:07:39Hey, Brad.
00:07:41Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:07:45Oh.
00:07:46My.
00:07:47God.
00:07:48I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:07:51Luckily, I'm a Hollywood stylish.
00:07:54Alright, girls.
00:07:55Let's get going.
00:07:58Right here.
00:07:59I got it.
00:08:02Oh.
00:08:03Are you okay?
00:08:07Watch out.
00:08:08Always calm down.
00:08:10Can they set up back here?
00:08:12Sit down.
00:08:13Get them out of here.
00:08:14Oh, my god.
00:08:15Are you okay, baby?
00:08:16Oh, my god.
00:08:17Are you okay, baby?
00:08:22Are these lady's fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:08:28She's my wife now, so yes.
00:08:29It's worth it.
00:08:30Baby Ro, I did my best today.
00:08:35Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day.
00:08:52How do I look?
00:08:54Wow, you're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:09:00Wow, you sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:09:03Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:09:07Julia, her acting skills surpassed mine.
00:09:11That's what handling a big star does to me.
00:09:14Let's go, girls.
00:09:15Thank you so much, guys.
00:09:16No problem, baby.
00:09:19Jeez, how did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:09:24Just like Kardashians.
00:09:26Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:09:28God is fair.
00:09:32Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique, he gave you unbrittle confidence.
00:09:40Wow, you're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:09:43We look so perfect together.
00:09:45It's a match made in heaven.
00:09:47No, no, no.
00:09:59There's no spark between you two.
00:10:02You don't love your wife at all.
00:10:03I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:10:06But we haven't even started talking.
00:10:08You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:10:10I don't feel your love for her.
00:10:12He's crazy about me.
00:10:15The moment I was divorced, he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:10:21I love you, baby.
00:10:23That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:10:26Come back to me, or you'll learn to be a proper lover.
00:10:36Jeez.
00:10:36Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:10:41Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:10:44Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water and a steak?
00:10:47Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:10:51Oh, you guessed right.
00:10:56Oh, much better now.
00:11:10Can you eat quieter?
00:11:12You're disturbing my reading.
00:11:13Oh, you're disturbing my reading.
00:11:21You're married?
00:11:23What's up?
00:11:25What?
00:11:25Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:11:27Of course.
00:11:28I can cover your shift today.
00:11:30Where are you going?
00:11:32The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:11:43Aubrey, what are you doing here?
00:11:46You're not stalking me, are you?
00:11:48Listen, stop harassing me.
00:11:50Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:11:54Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married too.
00:11:57It's not just you who found someone new.
00:11:59Jim!
00:12:00I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:12:03I do have a husband, and he's hotter, wealthier, and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:12:12If he's so great, when's an old-timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:12:18Come on, man.
00:12:19Don't just stand there.
00:12:20Serve us.
00:12:20I want hot tea.
00:12:34Jeez.
00:12:35You trying to scald me?
00:12:36Are you satisfied now?
00:12:48That's better.
00:12:49Drink up, dear.
00:12:52Ouch!
00:12:52This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:12:57Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
00:13:00It's whopping two carats.
00:13:02I heard your wedding ring was...
00:13:05A freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:13:11Well, good for you.
00:13:14And when you guys eventually split, you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:13:22Don't stupid our level.
00:13:24You, go and get the stakes ready in ten minutes, else I'll be reporting you.
00:13:29I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:13:32Then figure it out.
00:13:35Wait.
00:13:37Top of my water.
00:13:41Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:13:47I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:13:53Aubrey?
00:13:53Why are you waitressing?
00:13:55We're not really married.
00:13:56What I do is none of your business.
00:14:01Let's go.
00:14:01The advertisers are waiting.
00:14:05Keep an eye on her.
00:14:07Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:14:09I'm not her agent.
00:14:10But she's my wife, at least on paper.
00:14:12Okay, guys.
00:14:13If you don't need anything else, I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:14:17Oh my god.
00:14:19My ring.
00:14:20It's gone.
00:14:22Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole my ring.
00:14:26Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is.
00:14:29I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn, let alone steal it.
00:14:33Denying won't help.
00:14:36Let's home you somewhere.
00:14:37Oh my god.
00:14:37Oh my god.
00:14:37Oh my god.
00:14:37Oh my god.
00:14:37Oh my god.
00:14:37Oh my god.
00:14:38Oh my god.
00:14:39Oh my god.
00:14:40See?
00:14:41This is proof.
00:14:46I'm gonna have you fired.
00:14:49No way.
00:14:50You're framing me on purpose.
00:14:57Got it.
00:14:58Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
00:14:59You and your husband.
00:15:00You and your husband are so sweet.
00:15:05You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:15:07Sweet?
00:15:08We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:15:13Look at them.
00:15:15That's what we call sweet.
00:15:17I wish my husband.
00:15:18I wish my hubby was like that.
00:15:19I wish my hubby was like that.
00:15:20Fuck.
00:15:21That's actually my husband.
00:15:22You jerk cheating on me behind my back.
00:15:24I'll break.
00:15:25I'll break.
00:15:26Let me explain.
00:15:27Wait.
00:15:28Wait.
00:15:29Wait.
00:15:30Stop.
00:15:31All right.
00:15:34Enough.
00:15:35Cut it out.
00:15:36I wouldn't have to be out here messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
00:15:43Look at yourself.
00:15:44Sloppy.
00:15:45You're rude.
00:15:46Totally.
00:15:47All feminine.
00:15:48Totally.
00:15:49All feminine.
00:15:50I want a divorce.
00:15:52Crazy lady.
00:16:01Karma will get that scumbag.
00:16:03No need for karma.
00:16:04I can handle this myself.
00:16:05Hand me the car key.
00:16:16Chris.
00:16:17Leo snuck the role you wanted.
00:16:19No way.
00:16:20Why him?
00:16:21I cannot understand that.
00:16:23He has fewer Instagram followers than me and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
00:16:28The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:16:32Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:16:36But what about you?
00:16:37You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:16:42What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years.
00:16:49But she's married and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her.
00:16:53You think that would lend me the role?
00:16:54Sounds more like excused me.
00:16:56That's not good enough, huh?
00:16:58Alright.
00:16:59Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her?
00:17:03Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:17:08Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:17:11But the problem is you're just making this up on the spot.
00:17:16Alright.
00:17:19I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:17:25Damn it!
00:17:27Fuck.
00:17:34I'm so sorry.
00:17:35Are you nuts?
00:17:36Nuts?
00:17:37Is that all your men got?
00:17:41Yeah.
00:17:42I'm nuts.
00:17:43But you guys eat food cooked by nuts.
00:17:45Sleep with nuts.
00:17:46Have kids with nuts.
00:17:47You are the real nuts here.
00:17:49No offense.
00:17:50But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:17:52I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:17:57Only supermodels!
00:18:01Screw you for Chris Roberts!
00:18:07Shit!
00:18:13Shit!
00:18:14I sold the house.
00:18:19We got till tonight to move out.
00:18:22Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:18:27If you want to divorce me, fine!
00:18:29Go ahead!
00:18:30Go ahead, but how dare you sell our house without my consent?
00:18:36I'll sue you!
00:18:38Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:18:40Don't mess with me or apply for custody for our son.
00:18:43A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
00:18:46Despicable!
00:18:48So, you divorced?
00:18:50It's none of your business!
00:18:52Marry me!
00:19:00Are you insane?
00:19:04My car's worth 4 million dollars.
00:19:07You wanna talk about marriage?
00:19:09Or compensation?
00:19:12This way, ma'am.
00:19:17Watch us stop, ma'am.
00:19:25Welcome, ma'am.
00:19:30Wow, so it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
00:19:40I've seen it in a magazine.
00:19:56So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:19:59No.
00:20:00This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:20:02Yours is upstairs.
00:20:04Bigger and better.
00:20:06Forget that.
00:20:07Come sign the contract.
00:20:11Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:20:14Sorry, what's your name again?
00:20:16Aubrey.
00:20:17Okay.
00:20:18Aubrey.
00:20:19Listen to me.
00:20:20I love you for more than 10 years.
00:20:22I heard that you're divorced.
00:20:25So, I popped the question right away.
00:20:28What?
00:20:29Really?
00:20:30Are you kidding me?
00:20:32Aubrey, this marriage is just for show.
00:20:34I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:20:38Relax.
00:20:39Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:20:42Great!
00:20:43That's amazing!
00:20:44Once I secure the role and back that Oscar,
00:20:47we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:20:49smoothly.
00:20:51So we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:20:55Might as well say, so that do us a part.
00:20:58Don't worry about that.
00:21:00I'm gonna pay you an acting salary.
00:21:02The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:21:05You're Chris Roberts.
00:21:06Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:21:09Considering our attitude, I'm gonna go with minimum wage.
00:21:12Usually, they pay around 500 grand.
00:21:14And now, 150k.
00:21:17That's enough for you.
00:21:19Per year?
00:21:20Per month, of course.
00:21:34So you have a son?
00:21:36Don't get me wrong.
00:21:37Just wanna know more about my wife.
00:21:39Yeah.
00:21:46His name is Luke.
00:21:47He's nine.
00:21:49In summer camp,
00:21:51I'm aware of the divorce.
00:22:01Good lord!
00:22:03That looks calorie packed.
00:22:05First, it's not for you.
00:22:06Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:22:11Jeez, touchy.
00:22:13It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:22:17Keep that up.
00:22:19Another thing, clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:22:21We're meeting the director.
00:22:23Already?
00:22:25This is your first time stepping out as my wife,
00:22:27and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:22:30You need to dress up nicely, alright?
00:22:31Because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife.
00:22:34Come on!
00:22:36This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:22:39I'll solve this problem right now.
00:22:41Hey Brad!
00:22:43Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:22:46Oh.
00:22:49My.
00:22:50God.
00:22:51I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:22:55Luckily, I'm Hollywood stylish.
00:22:57Alright girls.
00:22:59Let's get going.
00:23:01Right here.
00:23:02I got it.
00:23:03I got it.
00:23:12Are you okay ladies?
00:23:13Watch out.
00:23:14Please calm down.
00:23:15Can you sit up back here?
00:23:16Sit down please.
00:23:17Get him out here.
00:23:18Oh my god.
00:23:19Are you okay baby?
00:23:20Are these ladies fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:23:31She's my wife now.
00:23:32So yes.
00:23:33It's worth it.
00:23:36Baby Ro, I did my best today.
00:23:39Remember, Rome wasn't built in the day.
00:23:41How do I look?
00:23:57Wow.
00:23:59You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:24:04Wow.
00:24:05You sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:24:06Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:24:09Julia, her acting skills surpassed mine.
00:24:14That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:24:17Let's go girls.
00:24:18Thank you so much guys.
00:24:20No problem baby.
00:24:22Geez.
00:24:24How did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:24:27Just like Kardashians.
00:24:30Guess you regret this fake marriage now huh?
00:24:33God is fair.
00:24:35Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique,
00:24:37he gave you unbridled confidence.
00:24:43Wow.
00:24:44You're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:24:46We look so perfect together.
00:24:48It's a match made in heaven.
00:24:50No, no, no.
00:25:02There's no spark between you two.
00:25:05You don't love your wife at all.
00:25:07I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:25:09But we haven't even started talking.
00:25:10You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:25:13I don't feel your love for her.
00:25:16He's crazy about me.
00:25:18The moment I was divorced,
00:25:19he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:25:24I love you baby.
00:25:26That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:25:29Come back to me or you'll learn to be a proper husband.
00:25:35Geez.
00:25:36Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:25:40Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:25:43Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water and a steak?
00:25:45Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:25:51You guessed right.
00:25:53Much better now.
00:25:57Can you eat quietly?
00:25:59No, no, no.
00:26:01No, no, no.
00:26:03No, no, no.
00:26:05No, no, no.
00:26:07No, no, no.
00:26:09No, no, no.
00:26:11No, no, no.
00:26:13No, no, no.
00:26:14Can you eat quieter?
00:26:16You're disturbing my reading.
00:26:26You're married?
00:26:27What's up?
00:26:28What?
00:26:29Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:26:30Of course.
00:26:31I can cover your shift today.
00:26:34Where are you going?
00:26:36The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:26:45Aubrey, what are you doing here?
00:26:49You're not stalking me, are you?
00:26:51Listen, stop harassing me.
00:26:53Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:26:56Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married too.
00:27:00It's not just you who found someone new.
00:27:02Jim!
00:27:04I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:27:06I do have a husband, and he's hotter, wealthier, and last longer in bed than you ever did.
00:27:15If he's so great, when's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:27:21Come on, man.
00:27:22Don't just stand there.
00:27:23Serve us.
00:27:25I want hot tea.
00:27:27Geez, you trying to scald me?
00:27:50Are you satisfied now?
00:27:51That's better.
00:27:53Drink up, dear.
00:27:55Ouch.
00:27:57This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:28:01Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
00:28:04It's whopping two carats.
00:28:06I heard your wedding ring was...
00:28:09a freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:28:15Wow, good for you.
00:28:17And when you guys eventually split, you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:28:25Don't stoop their level.
00:28:28You, go and get the sticks ready in ten minutes, else I'll be reporting you.
00:28:33I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:28:36Then figure it out.
00:28:38Wait.
00:28:39Pop off my water.
00:28:47Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:28:50I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:28:56Aubrey?
00:28:57Why are you waitressing?
00:28:58We're not really married.
00:28:59What I do is none of your business.
00:29:04Let's go.
00:29:05The advertisers are waiting.
00:29:09Keep an eye on her.
00:29:11Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:29:12I'm not her agent.
00:29:14But she's my wife, at least on paper.
00:29:16Okay guys, if you don't need anything else, I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:29:21Oh my god!
00:29:23My ring!
00:29:24It's gone!
00:29:26Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole my ring.
00:29:29Just because you're a bitch, doesn't mean everyone is.
00:29:32I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn, let alone steal it.
00:29:37Denying won't help!
00:29:39It's only you somewhere!
00:29:44See?
00:29:45This is proof!
00:29:50I'm gonna have you fired!
00:29:53No way! You're framing me on purpose!
00:30:00Got it.
00:30:01Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
00:30:06You and your husband are so sweet.
00:30:08You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:30:11Sweet?
00:30:13We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:30:17Look at them!
00:30:19That's what we call sweet.
00:30:20I wish my hubby was like that.
00:30:24Fuck! That's actually my husband!
00:30:25You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
00:30:27Aubrey!
00:30:29Let me explain!
00:30:30Wait!
00:30:31Wait!
00:30:32Wait!
00:30:33Stop!
00:30:37Alright! Enough!
00:30:39Cut it out!
00:30:41I wouldn't have to be out here messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
00:30:47Look at yourself.
00:30:48Sloppy.
00:30:50You're rude.
00:30:52Totally unfeminine.
00:30:53I want a divorce.
00:30:56Crazy lady.
00:31:05Karma will get that scumbag!
00:31:06No need for karma.
00:31:07I can handle this myself.
00:31:09Hand me the car key.
00:31:10No!
00:31:11I want a divorce.
00:31:12No!
00:31:13No!
00:31:17No!
00:31:19Chris,
00:31:20Leo sniked the role you wanted.
00:31:22No way!
00:31:23Why him?
00:31:24I cannot understand that,
00:31:26He has fewer Instagram followers than me and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars!
00:31:30made only a hundred million dollars. The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his
00:31:35wife. Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love. But what about you? You're
00:31:41a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy. What if I told everyone that I've
00:31:48actually been in love with one woman for all those years, but she's married and all my wild dating
00:31:55was just to try and forget her? You think that would lend me the role? Sounds more like excused
00:31:59me. That's not good enough, huh? All right. Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing
00:32:06to marry her, vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed
00:32:11guy? Now that's a story people might buy into. But the problem is you're just making this up on the
00:32:19spot. All right. I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:32:26damn it. Fuck. I'm so sorry. Are you nuts? Nuts? Is that all your men got? Yeah, I'm nuts. But you guys
00:32:47eat both cooked by nuts. Sleep with nuts. Have kids with nuts. You are the real nuts here. No offense,
00:32:53nuts. But I'm Chris Roberts. I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old. Only supermodels.
00:33:02and you're the real nuts. And you're the real nuts. And you're the real nuts. You're the
00:33:04guys. What the hell? I want you to come to sleep with supermodel.
00:33:05you fuck Chris Roberts!
00:33:06ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
00:33:10nohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
00:33:15shit!
00:33:18I sold the house. You got till tonight to move out or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:33:28If you want to divorce me, fine! Go ahead!
00:33:35But how dare you sell our house without my consent! I'll sue you!
00:33:41Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:33:43Don't mess with me or apply for a custody for our son.
00:33:46A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
00:33:50Despicable!
00:33:52So, you divorced?
00:33:54It's none of your business!
00:33:55Marry me!
00:33:58Are you insane?
00:34:07My car's worth $4 million.
00:34:10You want to talk about marriage or compensation?
00:34:15This way, ma'am.
00:34:20Watch your step, ma'am.
00:34:22Welcome, ma'am.
00:34:39Wow.
00:34:41So, it's your house at 5th Central Avenue.
00:34:43I've seen it in a magazine.
00:34:45So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:35:03No.
00:35:04This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:35:06Yours is upstairs.
00:35:07Bigger and better.
00:35:08Forget that.
00:35:10Come sign the contract.
00:35:14Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:35:17Sorry, what's your name again?
00:35:19Aubrey.
00:35:20Okay.
00:35:20Aubrey.
00:35:21Listen to me.
00:35:23I love you for more than 10 years.
00:35:25I heard that you're divorced.
00:35:27So, I popped the question right away.
00:35:32What?
00:35:32Really?
00:35:33Are you kidding me?
00:35:35Aubrey.
00:35:36This marriage is just for show.
00:35:37I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:35:42Relax.
00:35:42Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:35:45Great.
00:35:46That's amazing.
00:35:47Once I secure the role and back that Oscar,
00:35:50we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:35:52So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:35:58Might as well say,
00:36:00so that do us a part.
00:36:01Don't worry about that.
00:36:03I'm going to pay you an acting salary.
00:36:05The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:36:08You're Chris Roberts.
00:36:10Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:36:12Considering our attitude,
00:36:14I'm going to go with minimum wage.
00:36:15Usually, they pay around 500 grand,
00:36:18and now, 150K.
00:36:20That's enough for you.
00:36:22Per year?
00:36:23Per month, of course.
00:36:37So, you have a son?
00:36:40Don't get me wrong.
00:36:41Just want to know more about my wife.
00:36:48Yeah.
00:36:49His name is Luke.
00:36:51He's nine.
00:36:52In summer camp,
00:36:54I'm aware of the divorce.
00:37:05Good lord.
00:37:06That looks calorie-packed.
00:37:09First, it's not for you.
00:37:10Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:37:15Jeez, touchy.
00:37:16It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:37:20Keep that up.
00:37:22Another thing, clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:37:24We're meeting the director.
00:37:26Already?
00:37:28This is your first time stepping out as my wife,
00:37:30and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:37:33You need to dress up nicely, all right?
00:37:35Because it's going to be the first time
00:37:36that you're going to act as my wife.
00:37:38Come on.
00:37:39This top I'm wearing is, like, from the supermarket.
00:37:42I'll solve this problem right now.
00:37:45Hey, Brad.
00:37:48Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:37:50Oh, my God.
00:37:54I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:37:58Luckily, I'm a Hollywood-stylish.
00:38:00All right, girls.
00:38:02Let's get going.
00:38:04Right here.
00:38:06I got it.
00:38:06Are you okay, baby?
00:38:17Watch out.
00:38:18Please calm down.
00:38:18Can't you set up back here?
00:38:20Get them out of here.
00:38:21Oh, my God.
00:38:22Are you okay, baby?
00:38:29Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:38:33She's my wife now, so, yes, it's worth it.
00:38:39Baby, well, I did my best today.
00:38:42Remember, Rome wasn't built in the day.
00:38:58How do I look?
00:39:01Wow.
00:39:02You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:39:07Wow.
00:39:08You sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:39:10Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:39:14Julia,
00:39:15your acting skills surpassed mine.
00:39:18That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:39:20Let's go, girls.
00:39:22Thank you so much, guys.
00:39:23No problem, baby.
00:39:24Geez, how did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:39:31Just like Kardashians.
00:39:33Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:39:37God is fair.
00:39:38Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique,
00:39:41he gave you unbridled confidence.
00:39:42Wow, you're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:39:49We look so perfect together.
00:39:52It's a match made in heaven.
00:39:54No, no, no.
00:40:06There's no spark between you two.
00:40:08You don't love your wife at all.
00:40:10I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:40:12But we haven't even started talking.
00:40:14You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:40:17I don't feel your love for her.
00:40:20He's crazy about me.
00:40:22The moment I was divorced,
00:40:23he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:40:27I love you, baby.
00:40:29That's because I just can't wait
00:40:31to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:40:37Come back to me.
00:40:38You'll learn to be a proper husband.
00:40:42Geez.
00:40:43Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director
00:40:46and not some charlatan?
00:40:47Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:40:50Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water
00:40:52and a steak?
00:40:53Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper
00:40:55bursting from one extra bite.
00:40:58You guessed right.
00:41:04Much better now.
00:41:12Can you eat quieter?
00:41:19You're disturbing my reading.
00:41:29You're married?
00:41:30What's up?
00:41:31What?
00:41:32Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:41:34Of course.
00:41:34I can cover your shift today.
00:41:35Where are you going?
00:41:39The contract doesn't require me
00:41:41to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:41:49Aubrey,
00:41:50what are you doing here?
00:41:52You're not stalking me, are you?
00:41:54Listen,
00:41:55stop harassing me.
00:41:57Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:41:58Sorry to disappoint you,
00:42:02but I'm married too.
00:42:03It's not just you who found someone new.
00:42:06Jim!
00:42:07I told you she put up a front
00:42:09about finding someone else.
00:42:12I do have a husband,
00:42:14and he's hotter,
00:42:16wealthier,
00:42:17and lasts longer in bed
00:42:18than you ever did.
00:42:19If he's so great,
00:42:21when's an old-timer like you
00:42:22still going here serving tapes?
00:42:24Come on, man.
00:42:25Don't just stand there.
00:42:26Serve us.
00:42:27I want
00:42:29hot tea.
00:42:40Jeez.
00:42:42You trying to sculpt me?
00:42:53Are you satisfied now?
00:42:54That's better.
00:42:56Drink up, dear.
00:42:58Ouch.
00:42:59This huge diamond ring
00:43:01makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:43:04Check out my engagement ring
00:43:05from Mark.
00:43:07It's whopping two carats.
00:43:09I heard your wedding ring was...
00:43:11a freebie that came with some furniture shopping,
00:43:17wasn't it?
00:43:18Wow.
00:43:19Good for you.
00:43:21And when you guys eventually split,
00:43:22you will get a nice chunk of change
00:43:25from selling this treasure.
00:43:27Don't stoop to her.
00:43:28Don't stoop to her level.
00:43:30You, go and get the steaks ready in ten minutes,
00:43:34else I'll be reporting you.
00:43:36I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:43:39Then figure it out.
00:43:42Wait.
00:43:42Tub off my water.
00:43:44Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:43:53I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:43:56Aubrey?
00:44:00Why are you waitressing?
00:44:01We're not really married.
00:44:03What I do is none of your business.
00:44:07Let's go.
00:44:08The advertisers are waiting.
00:44:09Keep an eye on her.
00:44:14Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:44:15I'm not her agent.
00:44:17But she's my wife, at least on paper.
00:44:19Okay, guys.
00:44:20If you don't need anything else,
00:44:21I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:44:24Oh my god.
00:44:26My ring.
00:44:26It's gone.
00:44:28Since you're the only one serving us,
00:44:30I suspect you stole my ring.
00:44:32Just because you're a bitch
00:44:34doesn't mean everyone is.
00:44:35I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn,
00:44:38let alone steal it.
00:44:40Denyar won't help.
00:44:42It's only you somewhere.
00:44:47See?
00:44:48This is proof.
00:44:53I'm gonna have you fired.
00:44:56No way.
00:44:56You're framing me on purpose.
00:45:03Got it.
00:45:04Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
00:45:08You and your husband are so sweet.
00:45:12You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:45:15Sweet?
00:45:15We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:45:21Look at them.
00:45:22That's what we call sweet.
00:45:23I wish my hubby was like that.
00:45:27Fuck, that's actually my husband.
00:45:29You jerk cheating on me behind my back.
00:45:31Aubrey.
00:45:32Let me explain.
00:45:34Wait, wait.
00:45:35Stop.
00:45:36Stop.
00:45:38You bastard.
00:45:40All right, enough.
00:45:42Cut it out.
00:45:43I wouldn't have to be out here.
00:45:46Messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
00:45:50Look at yourself.
00:45:51Sloppy.
00:45:53You're rude.
00:45:54Totally unfeminine.
00:45:57I want a divorce.
00:45:59Crazy lady.
00:46:00No.
00:46:00No.
00:46:00No.
00:46:01Get that scum back.
00:46:10No need for karma.
00:46:10I can handle this myself.
00:46:12Hand me the car key.
00:46:13Chris.
00:46:24Leo snucked the role you wanted.
00:46:26No way.
00:46:27Why him?
00:46:28I cannot understand that.
00:46:30He has fewer Instagram followers than me.
00:46:32And his last movie made only $100 million.
00:46:35The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:46:39Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:46:43What about you?
00:46:44You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:46:49What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years?
00:46:56But she's married.
00:46:57And all my wild dating was just to try and forget her.
00:47:00You think that would lend me the role?
00:47:01Sounds more like excused me.
00:47:04That's not good enough, huh?
00:47:06Alright.
00:47:07Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her?
00:47:11Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:47:15Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:47:19But the problem is you're just making this up on the spot.
00:47:23Alright.
00:47:25I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:47:32Damn it!
00:47:34Fuck.
00:47:40I'm so sorry.
00:47:42Are you nuts?
00:47:43Nuts?
00:47:46Is that all your men got?
00:47:48Yeah, I'm nuts.
00:47:49But you guys eat those cooked by nuts.
00:47:51Sleep with nuts.
00:47:52Have kids with nuts.
00:47:53You are the real nuts here.
00:47:55No offense.
00:47:57But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:47:58I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:48:03Only supermodels.
00:48:07Screw you, fuck Chris Roberts.
00:48:09I sold the house.
00:48:28You've got till tonight to move out.
00:48:30Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:48:32If you want to divorce me, fine.
00:48:37Go ahead.
00:48:38But how dare you sell our house without my consent?
00:48:43I'll sue you.
00:48:44Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:48:46Don't mess with me.
00:48:47Or a fight for the cutsafe or a star.
00:48:50A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
00:48:53Despicable!
00:48:54So, you divorced?
00:48:57It's none of your business!
00:48:59Marry me!
00:49:06Are you insane?
00:49:10My car's worth four million dollars.
00:49:13You want to talk about marriage?
00:49:16Or compensation?
00:49:17This way, ma'am.
00:49:23Watch your step, ma'am.
00:49:32Welcome, ma'am.
00:49:43Wow.
00:49:44So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
00:49:47I've seen it in a magazine.
00:50:02So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:50:06No.
00:50:07This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:50:09Yours is upstairs.
00:50:10Bigger and better.
00:50:12Forget that.
00:50:13Come sign the contract.
00:50:18Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:50:20Sorry, what's your name again?
00:50:22Aubrey.
00:50:23Okay.
00:50:24Aubrey, listen to me.
00:50:26I love you for more than 10 years.
00:50:29I heard that you're divorced.
00:50:31So, I popped the question right away.
00:50:35What?
00:50:36Really?
00:50:36Are you kidding me?
00:50:38Aubrey, this marriage is just for show.
00:50:41I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:50:45Relax.
00:50:46Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:50:48Great.
00:50:49That's amazing.
00:50:50Once I secure the role and back that Oscar,
00:50:52we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:50:55So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:51:02Might as well say, so that do us a part.
00:51:05Don't worry about that.
00:51:06I'm going to pay you an acting salary.
00:51:08The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:51:11You're Chris Roberts.
00:51:13Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:51:15Considering our attitude, I'm going to go with minimum wage.
00:51:18Usually, they pay around $500,000.
00:51:21And now, $150,000.
00:51:23That's enough for you.
00:51:24Per year?
00:51:26Per month, of course.
00:51:38So, you have a son?
00:51:43Don't get me wrong.
00:51:44Just want to know more about my wife.
00:51:51Yeah.
00:51:53His name is Luke.
00:51:54He's nine.
00:51:56In summer camp,
00:51:58I'm aware of the divorce.
00:52:08Good lord.
00:52:09That looks calorie-packed.
00:52:12First, it's not for you.
00:52:14Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:52:17Geez, touchy.
00:52:20It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:52:24Keep that up.
00:52:25Another thing, clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:52:28We're meeting the director.
00:52:30Already?
00:52:30This is your first time stepping out as my wife and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:52:36You need to dress up nicely, alright?
00:52:38Because it's going to be the first time that you're going to act as my wife.
00:52:42Come on.
00:52:43This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:52:45I'm going to solve this problem right now.
00:52:48Hey, Brad.
00:52:51Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:52:55Oh my god.
00:52:58I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:53:01Luckily, I'm Hollywood stylish.
00:53:04Alright, girls.
00:53:05Let's get going.
00:53:08Right here.
00:53:09Are you okay, Liz?
00:53:20Watch out.
00:53:21Please calm down.
00:53:22Hey, Liz, sit up back here.
00:53:23Get him out of here.
00:53:25Oh my god.
00:53:26Are you okay, baby?
00:53:32Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:53:37She's my wife now.
00:53:38So, yes, it's worth it.
00:53:42Baby Ro, I did my best today.
00:53:45Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day.
00:54:02How do I look?
00:54:04Wow.
00:54:05You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:54:08Wow.
00:54:11You sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:54:13Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:54:17Julia, your acting skills surpassed mine.
00:54:21That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:54:24Let's go, girls.
00:54:25Thank you so much, guys.
00:54:26No problem, baby.
00:54:27No problem, baby.
00:54:29Jeez.
00:54:30How did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:54:34Just like Kardashians.
00:54:36Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:54:40God is fair.
00:54:41Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique, he gave you unbridled confidence.
00:54:50Wow.
00:54:51You're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:54:53We look so perfect together.
00:54:55It's a match made in heaven.
00:54:57No, no, no.
00:55:09There's no spark between you two.
00:55:11You don't love your wife at all.
00:55:13I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:55:15But we haven't even started talking.
00:55:18You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:55:20I don't feel your love for her.
00:55:23He's crazy about me.
00:55:25The moment I was divorced, he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:55:31I love you, baby.
00:55:33That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:55:40Come back to me.
00:55:42You'll learn to be a proper husband.
00:55:45Geez.
00:55:46Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:55:51Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:55:53Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water and a steak?
00:55:57Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:56:02You guessed right.
00:56:07Much better now.
00:56:15Can you eat quieter?
00:56:22You're disturbing my reading.
00:56:32You're married?
00:56:33What's up?
00:56:34What?
00:56:35Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:56:37Of course.
00:56:37I can cover your shift today.
00:56:39Where are you going?
00:56:42The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:56:53Aubrey, what are you doing here?
00:56:56You're not stalking me, are you?
00:56:58Listen, stop harassing me.
00:57:00Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:57:02Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married too.
00:57:07It's not just you who found someone new.
00:57:09Jim!
00:57:10I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:57:16I do have a husband.
00:57:17And he's hotter, wealthier, and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:57:22If he's so great,
00:57:24when's an old-timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:57:28Come on, man.
00:57:29Don't just stand there.
00:57:30Serve us.
00:57:30I want hot tea.
00:57:44Jeez.
00:57:45You trying to scald me?
00:57:56Are you satisfied now?
00:57:58That's better.
00:57:59Drink up, dear.
00:58:01Ouch.
00:58:03This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:58:07Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
00:58:10It's whopping two carats.
00:58:12I heard your wedding ring was...
00:58:15A freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:58:21Well, good for you.
00:58:21Well, good for you.
00:58:24And when you guys eventually split,
00:58:26you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:58:32Don't stupid or level.
00:58:34You, go and get the steaks ready in ten minutes,
00:58:37else I'll be reporting you.
00:58:39I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:58:42Then figure it out.
00:58:45Wait.
00:58:47Top of my water.
00:58:48Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:58:56Well, I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:58:59Aubrey, why are you waitressing?
00:59:05We're not really married.
00:59:06What I do is none of your business.
00:59:10Let's go.
00:59:11The advertisers are waiting.
00:59:12Keep an eye on her.
00:59:17Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:59:19I'm not her agent.
00:59:20But she's my wife, at least on paper.
00:59:22Okay, guys.
00:59:23If you don't need anything else,
00:59:24I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:59:27Oh my god.
00:59:29My ring.
00:59:30It's gone.
00:59:31Since you're the only one serving us,
00:59:34I suspect you stole my ring.
00:59:35Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is.
00:59:39I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn,
00:59:41let alone steal it.
00:59:43Denial won't help.
00:59:46Let's arm you somewhere.
00:59:50See?
00:59:51This is proof.
00:59:56I'm gonna have you fired.
00:59:59No way.
01:00:00You're framing me on purpose.
01:00:06Got it.
01:00:07Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
01:00:11You and your husband are so sweet.
01:00:15You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
01:00:18Sweet?
01:00:19We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
01:00:24Look at them.
01:00:25That's what we call sweet.
01:00:27I wish my hubby was like that.
01:00:30Fuck, that's actually my husband.
01:00:32You jerk, cheating on me behind my back.
01:00:34Aubrey.
01:00:35Let me explain.
01:00:36Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:38Wait, stop.
01:00:41All right, enough.
01:00:45Cut it out.
01:00:47I wouldn't have to be out here messing around
01:00:50if you didn't push me to do it.
01:00:53Look at yourself.
01:00:55Sloppy.
01:00:56You're rude.
01:00:58Totally unfeminine.
01:01:00I want a divorce.
01:01:02Crazy lady.
01:01:03Karma will get that scumbag.
01:01:13No need for karma.
01:01:14I can't handle this myself.
01:01:15Hand me the car key.
01:01:26Chris, Leo snuck the row you wanted.
01:01:29No way.
01:01:30Why him?
01:01:31I can't understand that.
01:01:33He has fewer Instagram followers than me
01:01:35and his last movie made only $100 million.
01:01:38The director's looking for a guy
01:01:39who's totally devoted to his wife.
01:01:42Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple
01:01:44for true love.
01:01:46But what about you?
01:01:47You're a 40-year-old bachelor
01:01:49known around town as a total playboy.
01:01:52What if I told everyone
01:01:54that I've actually been in love with one woman
01:01:57for all those years?
01:01:59But she's married
01:02:00and all my wild dating
01:02:01was just to try and forget her.
01:02:03You think that would lend me the role?
01:02:04Sounds more like excused me.
01:02:07That's not good enough, huh?
01:02:09Alright.
01:02:10Do I have to say
01:02:11she just got divorced
01:02:12and I'm rushing to marry her?
01:02:14Vowing to never look at
01:02:15another supermodel again
01:02:16to prove I can be a committed guy?
01:02:18Now that's a story
01:02:20people might buy into.
01:02:22But the problem is
01:02:24you're just making this up
01:02:25on the spot.
01:02:26Alright.
01:02:29I wish a woman like that
01:02:31would just fall into my life for real.
01:02:35Damn it!
01:02:37Fuck.
01:02:44I'm so sorry.
01:02:45Are you nuts?
01:02:46Nuts?
01:02:48Is that all your men got?
01:02:51Yeah.
01:02:52I'm nuts.
01:02:52But you guys
01:02:53eat good coke by nuts.
01:02:55Sleep with nuts.
01:02:56Have kids with nuts.
01:02:57You are the real nuts here.
01:02:59No offense.
01:03:00But I'm Chris Roberts.
01:03:02I only sleep with
01:03:03supermodels
01:03:03under 25 years old.
01:03:07Only supermodels.
01:03:11Screw you fuck.
01:03:12Chris Roberts.
01:03:13Ah!
01:03:13I sold the house.
01:03:31You got till tonight
01:03:32to move out
01:03:33or
01:03:34your stuff will be thrown away.
01:03:35If you want to divorce me
01:03:39fight!
01:03:40Go ahead!
01:03:41But how dare you
01:03:43sell our house
01:03:44without my consent!
01:03:46I'll sue you!
01:03:47Think you can afford a lawyer?
01:03:50Don't mess with me.
01:03:51I'll apply for a
01:03:52custody for our son.
01:03:53Jobless housewife like you
01:03:54won't stand a chance.
01:03:57Despicable!
01:03:57So,
01:03:59you divorced?
01:04:00It's none of your business!
01:04:02Marry me!
01:04:09Are you insane?
01:04:13My car's worth
01:04:15four million dollars.
01:04:17You want to talk about
01:04:18marriage
01:04:18or compensation?
01:04:22This win, ma'am.
01:04:23What's your step, ma'am?
01:04:35Welcome, ma'am.
01:04:46Wow!
01:04:47So, it's your house
01:04:48at 5th Central Avenue.
01:04:50I've seen it in the magazine.
01:04:53So,
01:05:06I get a room like this
01:05:08for a fake marriage?
01:05:09No.
01:05:10This is for Elizabeth,
01:05:11my dog.
01:05:12Yours is upstairs.
01:05:14Bigger and better.
01:05:15Forget that.
01:05:16Come sign the contract.
01:05:21Sign this
01:05:21and you will be my wife.
01:05:24Sorry,
01:05:24what's your name again?
01:05:25Aubrey.
01:05:26Okay.
01:05:27Aubrey,
01:05:28listen to me.
01:05:29I love you
01:05:30for more than 10 years.
01:05:32I heard
01:05:32that you're divorced.
01:05:35So,
01:05:35I popped the question
01:05:36right away.
01:05:38What?
01:05:39Really?
01:05:40Are you kidding me?
01:05:42Aubrey,
01:05:42this marriage
01:05:43is just for show.
01:05:44I hope you won't catch
01:05:45real feelings for me.
01:05:48Relax.
01:05:49Not falling for you
01:05:50as easy as drinking
01:05:51and eating.
01:05:52Great.
01:05:52That's amazing.
01:05:54Once I secure the role
01:05:55and back that Oscar,
01:05:57we'll part our ways
01:05:58smoothly.
01:06:01So,
01:06:01we stuck together
01:06:02until we win an Oscar?
01:06:03Might as well say,
01:06:07so that do us a part.
01:06:08Don't worry about that.
01:06:10I'm going to pay you
01:06:10an acting salary.
01:06:12The same as I do
01:06:13with my models and actors.
01:06:15You're Chris Roberts.
01:06:16Those actresses
01:06:17must earn a fortune.
01:06:19Considering our attitude,
01:06:20I'm going to go
01:06:21with minimum wage.
01:06:22Usually,
01:06:22they pay around
01:06:23500 grand
01:06:24and now,
01:06:25150K.
01:06:26That's enough for you.
01:06:27Per year?
01:06:30Per month,
01:06:30of course.
01:06:44So,
01:06:44you have a son?
01:06:46Don't get me wrong.
01:06:47Just want to know
01:06:48more about my wife.
01:06:55Yeah.
01:06:56His name is Luke.
01:06:57He's nine.
01:06:59In summer camp,
01:07:01unaware of the divorce.
01:07:11Good lord.
01:07:13That looks calorie-packed.
01:07:15First,
01:07:16it's not for you.
01:07:17Second,
01:07:18I hate
01:07:18when people reduce
01:07:19food to calories.
01:07:21Jeez,
01:07:22touchy.
01:07:23It'll make my loving you
01:07:25seem even more dramatic.
01:07:27Keep that up.
01:07:28Another thing,
01:07:29clear your schedule
01:07:30for tomorrow.
01:07:31We're meeting the director.
01:07:33Already?
01:07:35This is your first time
01:07:36stepping out as my wife
01:07:37and I really want you
01:07:38to take it seriously.
01:07:39Need to dress up nicely,
01:07:41alright?
01:07:41Because it's going to be
01:07:42the first time
01:07:43that you're going to act
01:07:44as my wife.
01:07:45Come on,
01:07:46this top I'm wearing
01:07:47is like from the supermarket.
01:07:49I'll solve this problem
01:07:50right now.
01:07:51Hey,
01:07:52Brad.
01:07:54Didn't you say
01:07:55you could transform
01:07:56any woman?
01:07:58Oh,
01:07:59my,
01:08:00God.
01:08:01I didn't expect
01:08:01this to be such a
01:08:02huge project.
01:08:04Luckily,
01:08:05I'm a Hollywood
01:08:06stylish.
01:08:07Alright,
01:08:07girls.
01:08:08Let's get going.
01:08:11Right here.
01:08:12I got it.
01:08:13Are you okay,
01:08:23baby?
01:08:24Watch out.
01:08:24Always calm down.
01:08:25Can't you sit up
01:08:26back here?
01:08:27Get back here.
01:08:28Oh,
01:08:28my God.
01:08:29Are you okay,
01:08:29baby?
01:08:36Are these ladies'
01:08:37fashion pieces
01:08:38worth the expense
01:08:39for her?
01:08:40She's my wife now,
01:08:41so yes,
01:08:42it's worth it.
01:08:43Baby Role,
01:08:47I did my best today.
01:08:49Remember,
01:08:50Rome wasn't built
01:08:51in the day.
01:09:05How do I look?
01:09:08Wow.
01:09:09You're the most
01:09:09beautiful you
01:09:10have ever seen.
01:09:11Wow.
01:09:15You sure
01:09:15aren't sure
01:09:15of that ass.
01:09:16Why aren't you
01:09:17closing the
01:09:18Victoria's Secret
01:09:18show this year?
01:09:20Julia,
01:09:22her acting skill
01:09:22surpassed mine.
01:09:24That's what
01:09:25handling a big
01:09:25star does to me.
01:09:27Let's go,
01:09:28girls.
01:09:28Thank you so much,
01:09:29guys.
01:09:30No problem,
01:09:30baby.
01:09:32Jeez,
01:09:33how did I not
01:09:34realize my backside
01:09:35has such potential?
01:09:37Just like
01:09:38Kardashian's.
01:09:39Guess
01:09:40you regret
01:09:40this fake
01:09:41marriage now,
01:09:41huh?
01:09:43God is fair.
01:09:45Though he didn't
01:09:45bless you
01:09:46with a fury physique,
01:09:47he gave you
01:09:48unbridled confidence.
01:09:53Wow,
01:09:54you're totally
01:09:55gonna nail that role now.
01:09:56We look so
01:09:57perfect together.
01:09:58It's a match
01:09:59made in heaven.
01:10:00No,
01:10:12no,
01:10:12no.
01:10:12There's no
01:10:13spark between you
01:10:14two.
01:10:15You don't love
01:10:15your wife at all.
01:10:17I'm sorry that
01:10:17I can't give you
01:10:18this role.
01:10:19We haven't even
01:10:19started talking.
01:10:21You know
01:10:21the law talk
01:10:22is about feeling.
01:10:23I don't feel
01:10:24your love for her.
01:10:27He's crazy
01:10:28about me.
01:10:28The moment
01:10:29I was divorced,
01:10:30he swooped in
01:10:31with a helicopter
01:10:32proposal.
01:10:34I love you,
01:10:35baby.
01:10:36That's because
01:10:36I just can't
01:10:37wait to spend
01:10:38the rest of
01:10:38my life with you.
01:10:44Come back to me.
01:10:45You'll learn
01:10:45to be a proper
01:10:46of...
01:10:47Jeez.
01:10:50Are you sure
01:10:50he's top
01:10:51Hollywood's director
01:10:52and not some
01:10:53charlatan?
01:10:54Yes,
01:10:55but he did catch
01:10:55you rolling
01:10:56your eyes at me.
01:10:57Maybe it's only
01:10:58because you ordered
01:10:58a cup of water
01:10:59and a steak?
01:11:00Perhaps that's
01:11:00to avoid
01:11:01your dress zipper
01:11:02bursting from
01:11:03one extra bite.
01:11:05You guessed right.
01:11:10Much better now.
01:11:11Can you eat quieter?
01:11:25You're disturbing
01:11:26my reading.
01:11:35You're married?
01:11:36What's up?
01:11:38What?
01:11:38Your daughter's in the hospital
01:11:39with a fever?
01:11:40Of course.
01:11:41I can cover your shift today.
01:11:44Where are you going?
01:11:45The contract
01:11:46doesn't require me
01:11:47to report my
01:11:48personal itinerary to you.
01:11:56Aubrey,
01:11:57what are you doing here?
01:11:58What are you doing here?
01:11:58What are you doing here?
01:11:58You're not
01:11:59stalking me,
01:12:00are you?
01:12:01Listen,
01:12:02stop harassing me.
01:12:03Tiffany and I
01:12:04are engaged.
01:12:07Sorry to disappoint you,
01:12:08but I'm married too.
01:12:10It's not just you
01:12:11who found someone new.
01:12:12Jim!
01:12:13I told you
01:12:14she put up a friend
01:12:15about finding someone else.
01:12:16I do have a husband
01:12:20and he's
01:12:21hotter,
01:12:22wealthier,
01:12:23and lasts longer
01:12:24in bed than you ever did.
01:12:25If he's so great,
01:12:27when's an old timer
01:12:28like you
01:12:29still going here
01:12:30serving tapes?
01:12:31Come on, man.
01:12:32Don't just stand there.
01:12:33Serve us.
01:12:35I want
01:12:36hot tea.
01:12:37jeez.
01:12:48You trying to
01:12:49scald me?
01:12:59Are you satisfied now?
01:13:01That's better.
01:13:03Drink up, dear.
01:13:05Ouch!
01:13:05This huge diamond ring
01:13:08makes it hard
01:13:08to lift my hand.
01:13:11Check out
01:13:11my engagement ring
01:13:12from Mark.
01:13:13It's whopping
01:13:14two carats.
01:13:16I heard
01:13:17your wedding ring
01:13:17was
01:13:18a freebie
01:13:21that came
01:13:21with some
01:13:22furniture shopping,
01:13:23wasn't it?
01:13:25Wow!
01:13:26Good for you.
01:13:27And when you guys
01:13:28eventually split,
01:13:29you will get
01:13:30a nice chunk
01:13:31of change
01:13:32from selling
01:13:33this treasure.
01:13:35Don't stoop
01:13:36to our level.
01:13:38You,
01:13:38go and get
01:13:39the steaks ready
01:13:40in ten minutes,
01:13:41else I'll be
01:13:42reporting you.
01:13:42I said
01:13:43half an hour
01:13:44when you ordered.
01:13:45Then
01:13:46figured it out.
01:13:48Wait!
01:13:50Tub off
01:13:51my water.
01:13:57Mary,
01:13:58you owe me
01:13:58a proper meal.
01:14:00I refrain
01:14:00from stabbing
01:14:01those two
01:14:01for your job's sake.
01:14:02Aubrey?
01:14:07Why are you
01:14:07waitressing?
01:14:08We're not
01:14:08really married.
01:14:09What I do
01:14:10is none
01:14:10of your business.
01:14:14Let's go.
01:14:15The advertisers
01:14:15are waiting.
01:14:18Keep an eye
01:14:19on her.
01:14:20Make sure
01:14:21nobody messes
01:14:21with her.
01:14:22I'm not her agent.
01:14:23But she's my wife,
01:14:24at least on paper.
01:14:25Okay, guys.
01:14:26If you don't need
01:14:27anything else,
01:14:28I'm gonna head out
01:14:29and change shifts.
01:14:29Oh my god.
01:14:32My ring.
01:14:33It's gone.
01:14:35Since you're
01:14:35the only one
01:14:36serving us,
01:14:37I suspect
01:14:38you stole my ring.
01:14:39Just because
01:14:39you're a bitch
01:14:40doesn't mean
01:14:41everyone is.
01:14:42I wouldn't even
01:14:43want to touch
01:14:44the stuff you've
01:14:44worn,
01:14:45let alone steal it.
01:14:47Denial won't help.
01:14:49It's only
01:14:50you somewhere.
01:14:53See?
01:14:55This is proof.
01:14:56I'm gonna
01:15:00have you
01:15:01fired.
01:15:02No way!
01:15:03You're framing me
01:15:04on purpose!
01:15:10Got it.
01:15:11Get the restaurant
01:15:11owner over here
01:15:12for me.
01:15:17Here we go.
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