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00:00Wondering why I'm running down the streets of New York at night in the pouring rain, with a mob of angry girls chasing me?
00:05I'll tell you when I catch my breath.
00:07I turned a corner and ran down an alley, only to find a dead end.
00:11I looked around frantically and burst through a tiny door that led into a dingy cafe, which was empty, except for a boy sweeping the floor.
00:18Quick, I need you to hide me.
00:19He just stared at me silently.
00:21Sometime today would be nice, buddy.
00:23What's the magic word?
00:24I don't know. Hurry up.
00:25That's not one word.
00:26Jesus Christ!
00:27Wrong again.
00:28Please! Please is the magic word!
00:31Uh, no.
00:31It's abracadabra.
00:33Okay, I'm guessing you're not from the mafia.
00:35You wanna look at the menu?
00:36I wouldn't order the salmon. It's been smelling weird for weeks.
00:39Just hide me!
00:40Now!
00:41The boy shoved me into a tiny broom closet, just before the girls chasing me burst in.
00:45Did Lana Moon come in here?
00:47No one's been in here for three days.
00:48No, wait. Yesterday, a big ugly guy came in and cut his toenails here, and left without ordering anything.
00:53Does that sound like Lana Moon?
00:54You're crazy! Let's go, girls!
00:56When I heard the door slam shut, I came out.
00:58You really don't know who I am?
01:00I figured out your name was Lana Moon. Duh.
01:02But no. Who are you?
01:04Hi, everyone. I'm Lana Moon, global sensation and chart-topping singer.
01:07But of course, you all knew that.
01:09I don't know what rock this weirdo's been living under.
01:11Before I continue, please like and subscribe.
01:13My life wasn't always like this.
01:15In fact, growing up, I was a nobody with nothing much.
01:18My dad was a math teacher in a public school, and my mom was a maid.
01:22She was French and had come to America for a better life, but it hadn't turned out like she'd imagined.
01:26Pay attention, Lana. You have to learn fractions.
01:29Yes, Lana. It's very useful to know that half your father's miserable salary goes to rent, and one third goes to bills.
01:37How much is left for buying us something nice? Do the math, and feel disappointed.
01:42Algebra is important. This equation can help you calculate the gradient of the slope.
01:47Yes, Lana. Let's calculate the slope of your life going downhill.
01:51And it's a steep slope, baby.
01:53Clearly, my parents didn't get along, and even though I loved Dad, I was with Mom on how useless math was.
01:59I was actually obsessed with singing, but my parents were either too busy with their jobs or too busy arguing to notice.
02:05One day, they were fighting when I put my headphones on in my room and started singing a ballad.
02:10All by myself. Don't wanna be all by myself anymore.
02:24As I belted out the high note, I saw my parents in the doorway, their mouths hanging open.
02:29That was you singing? It was you?
02:32No. Celine Dion's hiding under my bed.
02:34Oh my God. Celine is here?
02:36Dad, of course it was me. You don't get sarcasm, do you?
02:39Oh, my baby. You have a gift. You're going to be a singer. A superstar.
02:45We'll talk about this after she finishes high school and college.
02:49Do you know how many singers fail? I'll run the numbers on the probability of success.
02:52Wait, wait. How you say in America?
02:54Ah, yes.
02:55Shut up, man.
02:56Mom took on extra cleaning jobs to pay for a professional vocal coach, and soon she was signing me up for talent shows, open mic nights at cafes, and singing competitions.
03:05And then everything changed in the 12th grade when I won a big national competition.
03:10I received a huge cash prize, signed up with a talent manager, Chaz, and got a record deal in New York.
03:16You're ruining her childhood. How can you make her drop out of high school?
03:19She's almost 18. And what good has education done you, huh?
03:22I don't support this decision, and I won't be going with you two.
03:25Some people are meant to live small lives forever, and you are one of them. But it won't be me or my daughter.
03:32I was really sad that Dad didn't support me, and her family was breaking up. But I just couldn't let this opportunity slip away.
03:38Before I knew it, I was on a crazy rollercoaster ride. I was recording songs, singing on TV shows, giving radio interviews, and when my album was released, it hopped the music chart and launched my career into the stratosphere overnight.
03:51Soon, I was touring and singing to sold-out stadiums. Every time I stepped on stage and the crowd roared my name, they had to pinch myself.
03:59This was real. I was a star. But it turns out, a rollercoaster isn't all that fun if you can't get off.
04:06Two years later, I was getting tired and wanted a break.
04:09You've got concerts lined up for the next three months. We have TV appearances, brand endorsements.
04:14A small break.
04:14It's not possible right now.
04:16You're on top of the world, Lana. And we have to make sure you stay there.
04:19But one night, as I performed for a huge crowd, I found myself singing off-key, and I'd forgotten my lyrics.
04:26Then, during my final number, this huge spotlight turned towards me, and suddenly, I couldn't stop blinking.
04:32I stumbled backwards in confusion and crashed into a bunch of dancers who crashed into the band.
04:37Chaz ran on stage with my bodyguards and whisked me off to a hospital.
04:41After a thorough examination, the doctor told us that my excessive blinking was triggered by exhaustion and stress, and I needed rest.
04:48Chaz had to cancel my commitments, and I went off to Hawaii for three months.
04:53One day, as I was sunbathing by the pool with Mom, Chaz came running.
04:57Have you seen the music charts lately? You're almost at the bottom.
05:00Relax. Have a pina colada. People love me.
05:02This is showbiz, Lana. You go from hero to zero in seconds.
05:06There's a talented new girl in town, and everyone's talking about how she's gonna be the next big thing.
05:10He wasn't kidding. The girl was some exotic foreign beauty who wrote her own lyrics and played five different instruments, and America was obsessed.
05:18I still had my fans, but my popularity was definitely taking a hit.
05:22What do you mean you found another face for your makeup brand?
05:25You're Lana Moon's backup singer. Ever heard of a thing called loyalty?
05:28Okay, then. Jump off a cliff.
05:30I returned to my work and started recording again.
05:32One day after my session, Chaz dragged me off to my dressing room, and I flipped out when I saw who was inside.
05:39I'm guessing I don't need to introduce myself.
05:41Oh, my God. You're... you're Xander, the lead singer for the hottest boy band in the world.
05:47Come on, I have a poster of you in my bedroom. And now, you're here in the flesh?
05:51No, scratch that. It's my mother who has a poster of you in her bedroom.
05:54No, wait. That sounds way worse.
05:56It's okay. I have a poster of me, too.
05:58I've heard your songs, Lana. You're very talented.
06:00Who? Me?
06:01Yes, you.
06:02Also, I was wondering if you'd go to dinner with me tomorrow night.
06:05She'll be there.
06:06I can speak for myself, Chaz. Um, yeah. I'll be there.
06:10The next day, Xander whisked me off in his limo to a super exclusive restaurant.
06:14And sure, I was impressed with the food and Xander's dimples, but we also had a lot in common.
06:19This life can be so lonely. It's hard for regular people to understand.
06:22It does get overwhelming sometimes, but we're also really lucky.
06:26I love your positivity. You look beautiful, by the way.
06:29Xander took my hand, and butterflies fluttered in my stomach.
06:32The next week, Xander sent his private jet to take me to a beautiful island town.
06:37We spent all weekend on the beach talking and laughing.
06:40The night before I left, we had our first kiss under the stars.
06:43Then, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
06:45And I was so caught up in the moment, I just said, yes!
06:48Soon, Xander and I moved in together, and we became the new it couple.
06:52We were on magazine covers, we were doing interviews together, and the paparazzi were obsessed with us.
06:58My album sales were through the roof again, and Xander and I released a duet that the public went wild for.
07:03Life was perfect, but soon, a new side of Xander started to show itself.
07:08Are you seriously wearing that to the gala?
07:10This is Chanel, from last year's collection.
07:13Looks like someone gave you those clothes as charity.
07:15Please go change.
07:16It's not a good look for me.
07:17I thought Xander was being rude and superficial, but I changed anyway to avoid an argument.
07:21But he only got worse.
07:23He became more and more controlling, telling me what to wear, when to smile, how much to eat, who to talk to.
07:29Why do you talk to that woman on the phone so much?
07:31Um, because she's my mom?
07:33How come you don't talk to your family?
07:34I ditched all those bottom feeders years ago.
07:36All anyone wants from me is money.
07:38I honestly felt a little bad for him, but I hated his attitude with me.
07:42I felt suffocated, and like I wasn't my own person anymore.
07:45Soon we had an interview on a popular late-night show, and Xander was unbearable.
07:50He kept undermining my opinions and interrupting me, or just talked non-stop about himself.
07:55As we walked out of the studio, Xander took my hand, but I shook it off.
07:59What are you doing?
08:00You know the paparazzi is always watching, so smile.
08:03Don't tell me what to do, and I'm not going home with you.
08:06We're done, Xander.
08:07Excuse me?
08:08Do you understand what it means to be my girlfriend?
08:11There are girls far prettier and more talented than you who are dying to be with me.
08:15Jeez, I hate it when your eyes start doing this blinking thing.
08:18You look so stupid.
08:19Make it stop.
08:20I'm having a serious conversation here.
08:22No, Xander.
08:23This conversation is done, and so are we.
08:26As I turned away, he tried to stop me, but I pushed him hard.
08:29The paparazzi went crazy around us,
08:31and I jumped into a cab and fled the scene.
08:34I checked into a hotel that night, and as I sank into the bed, I felt relief wash over me.
08:39I was free.
08:41But the next morning, I woke up to a hundred angry voicemails from Chaz.
08:45When I turned on the TV, I saw the video of me pushing Xander being played on every news channel,
08:50and he was crying.
08:51Lana was only with me because of my fate.
08:53Her manager set us up because her career was tanking.
08:56I really fell in love with her, though.
08:58I did everything she said, bought her everything she asked for.
09:01But after the interview last night, she told me she was seeing someone else.
09:05Lana Moon is a cheater, a liar, and a gold digger.
09:09That jerk!
09:09I checked Twitter and TikTok and found thousands of comments calling for a boycott of my album and tour.
09:15I moved back to my own place and released an official statement saying Xander was lying
09:20and just couldn't accept the relationship was over.
09:23My fans were supportive, but his fangirls were insane.
09:26They were camping outside my house, chanting protests and egging my windows.
09:30After a week of this nonsense, I slipped out one night, climbing over the back wall.
09:35But as I was sipping my favorite latte at a cafe, some of those girls spotted me.
09:39It's her!
09:40I can't believe you treated Xander that way!
09:42You need to apologize to that precious angel!
09:45That's when they started chasing me, and I ended up with the crazy boy in the weird cafe.
09:49His name was Kenny, and he offered me a dry sweatshirt and a cup of tea as I told him my story.
09:54He was fascinated, especially when he saw Xander's picture.
09:57Whoa, you were dating this guy?
09:59I don't think I've ever seen someone so proportionate.
10:01And those cheekbones, you could grate cheese off of them.
10:04Sorry, sorry, went off on a tangent.
10:06We hate this guy.
10:07He's a toxic piece of garbage.
10:08Thank you!
10:09How come you don't know about all this?
10:11I don't have any social media accounts.
10:12I'm a theoretical physicist in an advanced level university program.
10:16So between that and my multiple jobs, I don't have much time for stupid gossip.
10:20Not that your life is stupid.
10:22This was really interesting.
10:23And it's nice to meet a pop star.
10:25It's been nice to meet someone so ordinary.
10:27Wait, that came out wrong.
10:29No, I'm pretty ordinary.
10:30And I'm okay with that.
10:31Is it okay if I come hang out here sometimes?
10:34I'm always alone here.
10:35I could use the company.
10:36The noise created by Xander's fans started dying out, and I returned to work.
10:40But in the evenings, I started slipping out frequently to the cafe.
10:44And even though we were poles apart, I found Kenny the easiest person to talk to.
10:48He listened attentively and always gave the best advice.
10:51He was smart and funny and even cute, but clearly unaware of it.
10:55And he really seemed to love my songs.
10:57After I finished the new album, I decided to take a weekend break on an exclusive island resort where no paparazzi would be around.
11:04And I invited Kenny.
11:06Kenny was loving the resort, but he just wouldn't come into the pool.
11:09I could show you some disturbing statistics about how much pool water is actually just pee.
11:13There's no one here, and I'm not peeing.
11:16There's a lot of life-threatening bacteria in that water that can travel up your nose.
11:20You don't know how to swim, do you?
11:21Yeah, you caught me.
11:23I'm a loser.
11:23I'll teach you.
11:24I'm an expert.
11:25No thanks.
11:25Come on, just jump into the pool.
11:28I'll catch you.
11:28You jump into the pool.
11:29I'm already in the pool.
11:31Jump at me.
11:32You jump at me.
11:33I literally had to drag him in and force him to learn.
11:36When I thought he was ready, I pushed him towards the deep end.
11:39Kenny started slapping around like a crazy duck, but he was actually afloat.
11:43Oh my god, I'm swimming.
11:44You're doing so well.
11:46Keep going.
11:47Soon, he was swimming around like a clumsy mermaid, and then he circled back to me laughing.
11:52Wow, this feels amazing.
11:56And then suddenly, he kissed me, and I kissed him back.
11:59We broke apart and stared at each other.
12:01But just then, Xander turned up at the pool.
12:03What are you doing here?
12:04Are you stalking me?
12:06Maybe.
12:06Is that a crime?
12:07Uh, yeah.
12:08When I found out you were coming here with a plus one, I had to see for myself.
12:12You were cheating on me all along, just as I'd suspected.
12:14Why else would you break up with me?
12:16Because you've been acting like a jerk for months.
12:19So you decided to cheat on me?
12:20With skinny, pasty nobody?
12:22Hey, that's rude.
12:23What do you want, Xander?
12:24Just some pictures to prove my claim.
12:26I got one of you two kissing.
12:28That'll work.
12:29You're invading my privacy.
12:30I want you to delete it.
12:31Sure.
12:32After I posted it.
12:33What's happening to your eyes, Lana?
12:35Is that the first time you're seeing Miss Blinks a lot?
12:38Listen, dude.
12:39If you don't stop bothering Lana right now, I will punch your face.
12:42It won't hurt that much, because I'm not that strong.
12:44But it'll still be embarrassing for someone like you to get punched by a pasty physicist.
12:48Give it your best shot, chicken legs.
12:51No one is doing anything.
12:52As I stepped forward to stop them, I suddenly slipped on some water and hit my head.
12:56And then I blacked out.
12:58When I finally came around, I was in a hospital with Chaz and Mom beside me.
13:02Oh, my baby.
13:03You're awake.
13:04Where am I?
13:05You were taken to a hospital on the island, but we had you transferred to the city.
13:09You've been unconscious for three days.
13:10We kept the news quiet, though.
13:12How are you feeling?
13:12I think I'm okay.
13:14Then take a look at this.
13:15Chaz shoved a phone in my face, and the picture of me kissing Kenny was everywhere.
13:19Xander was claiming it was taken by a private investigator while he and I were still together.
13:24This isn't true.
13:25And that maniac posted this when I could have been in a coma?
13:28Who is this boy you're kissing?
13:29I'm entitled to some privacy.
13:31No, you're not.
13:32You're a public figure, Lana, and I'm your manager.
13:34I need to know everything about this boy before I decide how to handle this story.
13:38He's a nobody, okay?
13:39Just an ordinary guy I randomly met.
13:41A distraction.
13:43I only invited him to the resort because I didn't want to be alone.
13:46Don't drag him into all this drama.
13:47He's no one important.
13:48Of course I lied to get Chaz off my back.
13:50Kenny meant a lot to me, and I wanted to talk to him about us before I made anything public.
13:55I texted Kenny, but he didn't reply.
13:56Soon after I was released from the hospital, I went to the cafe, and sure enough, he was there.
14:01Hey, why haven't you replied?
14:03You didn't want to know how I was doing?
14:05I knew you were fine.
14:06Okay, then.
14:07Kenny, we need to talk.
14:08Yeah, and I'll go first.
14:10Lana, I don't think you should come around here or keep in touch with me.
14:13Oh, so you don't want to see me anymore?
14:15Yeah, because I'm just an ordinary guy you randomly met and hung out with, so you wouldn't be alone, right?
14:20I came to see you at the hospital, and I heard you and Chaz talking.
14:23Listen, it's not...
14:24It's fine.
14:25I am ordinary, and I have a lot on my plate.
14:27I don't want to be in the public eye, and I don't need distractions.
14:30You and I belong to two different worlds, and they're never going to intersect.
14:33So let's just back off before anyone gets hurt, okay?
14:35If that's what you want, okay.
14:37I felt kind of heartbroken, but maybe it was for the best.
14:40He didn't want this life, and perhaps it was better for me to not be in a relationship right now.
14:45But on the bright side, karma hit Sander soon.
14:47He started dating the exotic foreign singer who recorded him acting crazy jealous and screaming at her, and she made it public.
14:55Sander got dropped by his label, and the same fans who'd hated me brought out their pitchforks for him instead.
15:00I got a lot of support, and my new album did amazingly well.
15:04But my success felt hollow, and I called Dad one day.
15:07Maybe you were right all along, and I should have never become a singer.
15:10I never said that, Lana.
15:12You're very talented, and I never expected you to become a mathematician.
15:15I just wanted you to have a balanced life.
15:17You should have fought harder to stick around, Dad.
15:20I could have used your wisdom.
15:21I didn't think you'd listen then.
15:23But I am sorry.
15:24Do you think I should take a break and finish high school?
15:26I think that sounds great, honey.
15:28The next day, I publicly announced my career break.
15:31Mom didn't protest much, because apparently, she was getting married to a rich music producer and relocating to France.
15:37Chaz went berserk, but I fired him.
15:39I was done being pushed around, and I would get back to music when I felt ready.
15:43After my high school graduation, I was celebrating with my friends at a cafe that was having an open mic night.
15:48I couldn't resist getting up on stage and singing, and it felt great.
15:52Just then, I spotted a familiar face smiling at me, and I walked over.
15:56Kenny, it's been a while.
15:58How are you?
15:59Pretty great, actually.
16:00I finished the program with flying colors.
16:01Of course you did.
16:02It's lame in comparison, but I just finished high school.
16:05I know.
16:06I made a social media account just to follow you.
16:09Kenny, all those things I said to Chaz, I didn't mean them.
16:13You weren't a distraction or a rebound, and you're not at all ordinary.
16:18Not to me.
16:20Anyway, I'll see you around.
16:21Are you free for dinner?
16:23I know this shady cafe that's great if you want to get food poisoning.
16:26And good tea.
16:27We could talk more?
16:28Sounds good to me.
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