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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You and your husband are so sweet.
00:00:02You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:00:05Sweet?
00:00:06We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:00:11Look at them.
00:00:12That's what we call sweet.
00:00:14I wish my hubby was like that.
00:00:17Fuck, that's actually my husband!
00:00:19You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
00:00:21Aubrey!
00:00:22Let me explain!
00:00:24Wait, wait, wait!
00:00:26Stop!
00:00:27All right, enough!
00:00:31Cut it out!
00:00:33I wouldn't have to be out here messing around
00:00:37if you didn't push me to do it.
00:00:40Look at yourself.
00:00:41Sloppy.
00:00:42You're rude.
00:00:44Totally unfeminine.
00:00:47I want a divorce.
00:00:49Crazy lady.
00:00:57Come on, we'll get that scumbag.
00:01:00No need for karma.
00:01:01I can handle this myself.
00:01:02Hand me the car key.
00:01:13Chris, Leo snucked the role you wanted.
00:01:15No way.
00:01:17Why him?
00:01:18I cannot understand that.
00:01:20He has fewer Instagram followers than me
00:01:22and his last movie made only $100 million.
00:01:24The director's looking for a guy
00:01:26who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:01:28Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:01:32But what about you?
00:01:34You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:01:38What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years,
00:01:46but she's married and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her?
00:01:50You think that would lend me the role?
00:01:52Sounds more like excused me.
00:01:54That's not good enough, huh?
00:01:56All right.
00:01:57Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her,
00:02:01vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:02:06Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:02:09But the problem is you're just making this up on the spot.
00:02:13All right.
00:02:16I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:02:22Damn it!
00:02:24Fuck.
00:02:31I'm so sorry.
00:02:32Are you nuts?
00:02:33Nuts?
00:02:36Is that all your men got?
00:02:38Yeah.
00:02:39I'm nuts.
00:02:40But you guys eat don't cook by nuts.
00:02:42Sleep with nuts.
00:02:43Have kids with nuts.
00:02:44You are the real nuts here.
00:02:46No offense.
00:02:47But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:02:49I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:02:54Only supermodels.
00:02:56So if you have to get rid of this.
00:02:57You have to have to be okay.
00:02:58No offense.
00:02:59I'll kill you.
00:03:00No offense.
00:03:01Don't burn me.
00:03:02You're not.
00:03:03I can't eat.
00:03:04I can't eat the table.
00:03:05I can't eat the table.
00:03:06In the reverse.
00:03:07You'll kill, like I can't eat this.
00:03:08No offense.
00:03:09I can't eat the table.
00:03:10I can't eat this.
00:03:11It's only a chocolatey one.
00:03:12I sold the house. You've got till tonight to move out. Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:03:23If you want to divorce me, fine! Go ahead! But how dare you sell our house without my consent! I'll sue you!
00:03:35You think you can afford a lawyer? Don't mess with me or apply for custody for our staff. A jobless house like what you won't stand a chance.
00:03:43Despicable!
00:03:45So, you divorced?
00:03:47It's none of your business!
00:03:49Marry me!
00:03:57Are you insane?
00:03:59My car's worth 4 million dollars. You want to talk about marriage? Or compensation?
00:04:09This way, ma'am.
00:04:14We'll trust that, ma'am.
00:04:18Welcome, ma'am.
00:04:33Wow! So it's your house at 5 Central Avenue. I've seen it in a magazine.
00:04:48So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:04:56No. This is for Elizabeth, my dog. Yours is upstairs. Bigger and better.
00:05:02Forget that. Come sign the contract.
00:05:08Sign this, and you will be my wife. Sorry, what's your name again?
00:05:12Aubrey.
00:05:13Okay. Aubrey, listen to me. I love you for more than 10 years. I heard that you're divorced. So, I popped the question right away.
00:05:25What? Really?
00:05:26Are you kidding me?
00:05:28Aubrey, this marriage is just for show. I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:05:35Relax. Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:05:38Great! That's amazing! Once I secure the role and back that Oscar, we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:05:48So we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:05:52Might as well say, so that do us a part.
00:05:55Don't worry about that. I'm gonna pay you an acting salary. The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:06:01You're Chris Roberts. Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:06:06Considering our attitude, I'm gonna go with minimum wage.
00:06:09Usually, they pay around 500 grand, and now, 150k. That's enough for you.
00:06:16Per year?
00:06:17Per month, of course.
00:06:18Per month, of course.
00:06:31So you have a son?
00:06:32Don't get me wrong. Just wanna know more about my wife.
00:06:42Yeah. His name is Luke. He's nine. In summer camp, I'm aware of the divorce.
00:06:49Good lord. That looks calorie-packed.
00:07:02First, it's not for you. Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:07:08Jeez, touchy. It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:07:13Keep that up. Another thing, clear your schedule for tomorrow. We're meeting the director.
00:07:20Already?
00:07:22This is your first time stepping out as my wife, and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:07:26Need to dress up nicely, alright? Because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife.
00:07:31Come on. This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:07:36I'll solve this problem right now.
00:07:39Hey, Brad.
00:07:41Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:07:44Oh. My. God. I didn't expect this to be such a huge project. But luckily, I'm a Hollywood stylish.
00:07:54Alright, girls. Let's get going.
00:07:58Right here.
00:07:59I got it.
00:08:09Are you okay, baby?
00:08:10Watch out. Please calm down.
00:08:12Can't you set up back here?
00:08:14Get them out of here.
00:08:15Oh, my God. Are you okay, baby?
00:08:23Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:08:27She's my wife now. So, yes. It's worth it.
00:08:32Hmm.
00:08:33Baby Ro, I did my best today.
00:08:36Remember, Rome wasn't beautiful in the day.
00:08:52How do I look?
00:08:53Wow. You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:09:01Wow. You sure ain't sure of that ass. Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:09:07Julia, her acting skills surpassed mine.
00:09:11That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:09:14Let's go, girls.
00:09:15Thank you so much, guys.
00:09:16No problem, baby.
00:09:17Geez. How did I not realize my backside has such potential? Just like Kardashians. Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:09:29God is fair. Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique, he gave you unbrittle confidence.
00:09:35Wow. You're totally gonna nail that role now. We look so perfect together.
00:09:45It's a match made in heaven.
00:09:47No, no, no. There's no spark between you two. You don't love your wife at all.
00:10:04I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:10:06But we haven't even started talking.
00:10:07You know the law talk is about feeling. I don't feel your love for her.
00:10:13He's crazy about me. The moment I was divorced, he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:10:20I love you, baby. That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:10:30Come back to me or you'll learn to be a proper lover.
00:10:35Geez.
00:10:36Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:10:41Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:10:44Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water? Any steak?
00:10:47Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:10:52You guessed right.
00:10:57Much better now.
00:11:06Can you eat quieter? You're disturbing my reading.
00:11:14You're married? What's up?
00:11:25What? Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:11:27Yeah, of course. I can cover your shift today.
00:11:29Where are you going?
00:11:31Where are you going?
00:11:33The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:11:36Aubrey, what are you doing here? You're not stalking me, are you?
00:11:48Listen, stop harassing me. Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:11:52Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married too. It's not just you who found someone new.
00:11:59Jim!
00:12:01I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:12:03I do have a husband, and he's hotter, wealthier, and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:12:13If he's so great, when's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:12:18Come on, man. Don't just stand there. Serve us.
00:12:22I want hot tea.
00:12:33Geez, you trying to scald me?
00:12:47Are you satisfied now?
00:12:48That's better. Drink up, dear.
00:12:52Ouch! This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:12:58Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
00:13:00It's whopping two carrots.
00:13:03I heard your wedding ring was a freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:13:12Wow, good for you.
00:13:14And when you guys eventually split, you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:13:22Don't stoop to our level.
00:13:25You, go and get the sticks ready in ten minutes, else I'll be reporting you.
00:13:29I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:13:32Then figure it out.
00:13:35Wait.
00:13:37Tub off my water.
00:13:44Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:13:46I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:13:49Aubrey?
00:13:50Why are you waitressing?
00:13:51We're not really married.
00:13:52What I do is none of your business.
00:13:54Let's go.
00:13:55The advertisers are waiting.
00:13:57Keep an eye on her.
00:13:58Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:13:59I'm not her agent.
00:14:00But she's my wife.
00:14:01At least on paper.
00:14:02Okay guys, if you don't need anything else, I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:14:04Oh my god!
00:14:05My ring!
00:14:06It's gone!
00:14:07Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole my ring.
00:14:10Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is.
00:14:11I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn.
00:14:12Let alone steal it.
00:14:13Then now it won't help.
00:14:14It's on you somewhere.
00:14:15See?
00:14:16This is proof.
00:14:17This is proof.
00:14:18Oh my god.
00:14:19I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:14:20Oh my god!
00:14:21My ring!
00:14:22It's gone!
00:14:23Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole my ring.
00:14:26Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is.
00:14:29I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn.
00:14:32Let alone steal it.
00:14:34Then now it won't help.
00:14:36It's on you somewhere.
00:14:38See?
00:14:41This is proof.
00:14:43I'm gonna have you FIRED!
00:14:49No way!
00:14:50You're framing me on purpose!
00:14:57Got it.
00:14:58Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
00:15:03You and your husband are so sweet.
00:15:05You always remembered to buy his favorite pizza.
00:15:08Sweet?
00:15:09We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:15:14Look at them.
00:15:15That's what we call sweet.
00:15:17I wish my hubby was like that.
00:15:20That's actually my husband!
00:15:22You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
00:15:24Aubrey!
00:15:25Let me explain!
00:15:26Wait!
00:15:27Wait!
00:15:28Wait!
00:15:29Wait!
00:15:30Stop!
00:15:31FIRED!
00:15:32Alright!
00:15:33Enough!
00:15:34Cut it out!
00:15:35I wouldn't have to be out here messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
00:15:44Look at yourself.
00:15:45Sloppy.
00:15:46Rude.
00:15:47Totally.
00:15:48Unfeminine.
00:15:49I want a divorce.
00:15:52Crazy lady.
00:16:01Karma will get that scumbag.
00:16:03No need for karma.
00:16:04I can handle this myself.
00:16:05Hand me the car key.
00:16:06Cress, Leo's not the role you wanted.
00:16:19No way.
00:16:20Why him?
00:16:21I cannot understand that.
00:16:23He has fewer Instagram followers than me and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
00:16:28The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:16:32Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:16:36But what about you?
00:16:37You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:16:42What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years?
00:16:49But she's married and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her.
00:16:53You think that would lend me the role?
00:16:55Sounds more like excused me.
00:16:57That's not good enough, huh?
00:16:59Alright.
00:17:00Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her?
00:17:04Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:17:09Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:17:12But the problem is you're just making this up on the spot.
00:17:16Alright.
00:17:20I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:17:23I'm so sorry.
00:17:35Are you nuts?
00:17:36Nuts?
00:17:40Is that all your men got?
00:17:42Yeah, I'm nuts.
00:17:43But you guys eat both cooked by nuts.
00:17:45Sleep with nuts.
00:17:46Have kids with nuts.
00:17:47You are the real nuts here.
00:17:49No offense.
00:17:50But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:17:52I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:17:57Only supermodels.
00:17:59I kill you.
00:18:00Dad.
00:18:01Screw you不用*****
00:18:02I kill you.
00:18:03I kill you.
00:18:07I kill you.
00:18:08I kill you.
00:18:13I kill you.
00:18:15You kill me.
00:18:16I kill you.
00:18:17Oh shit.
00:18:18I sold the house. You've got till tonight to move out. Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:18:28If you want to divorce me, fine! Go ahead! But how dare you sell our house without my consent! I'll sue you!
00:18:38Think you can afford a lawyer? Don't mess with me or a fight for the custody for our son.
00:18:43A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
00:18:46Despicable!
00:18:48So, you divorced?
00:18:50It's none of your business!
00:18:52Marry me!
00:19:00Are you insane?
00:19:04My car's worth $4 million. You want to talk about marriage? Or compensation?
00:19:12This win, ma'am.
00:19:16What's your step, ma'am?
00:19:18Welcome, ma'am.
00:19:24Welcome, ma'am.
00:19:26Wow! So it's your house at 5 Central Avenue. I've seen it in a magazine.
00:19:42So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:19:58This for a fake marriage?
00:20:00No. This is for Elizabeth, my dog. Yours is upstairs. Bigger and better.
00:20:06Forget that. Come sign the contract.
00:20:08Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:20:14Sorry, what's your name again?
00:20:16Aubrey.
00:20:17Aubrey.
00:20:19Listen to me. I love you for more than 10 years. I heard that you're divorced.
00:20:25So, I popped the question right away.
00:20:27What? Really?
00:20:29Are you kidding me?
00:20:31Aubrey, this marriage is just for show. I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:20:37Relax. Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:20:41Great! That's amazing! Once I secure the role and back that Oscar, we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:20:51So we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:20:55Might as well say, till that do us a part.
00:20:58Don't worry about that. I'm gonna pay you an acting salary. The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:21:04You're Chris Roberts. Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:21:09Considering our attitude, I'm gonna go with minimum wage.
00:21:12Usually, they pay around $500,000 and now, $150,000. That's enough for you.
00:21:18Per year?
00:21:20Per month, of course.
00:21:22Per month, of course.
00:21:23Per month.
00:21:24Per month.
00:21:25Per month, of course.
00:21:26Per month.
00:21:27Per month.
00:21:28Per month.
00:21:29Per month, of course.
00:21:31Per month.
00:21:32Per month.
00:21:33So, you have a son?
00:21:36Don't get me wrong.
00:21:38Just want to know more about my wife.
00:21:40Per month.
00:21:41Per month.
00:21:42Per month.
00:21:43Per month.
00:21:44Yeah.
00:21:45His name is Luke.
00:21:48He's nine.
00:21:49In summer camp, I'm aware of the divorce.
00:22:01Good lord, that looks calorie packed.
00:22:05First, it's not for you.
00:22:07Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:22:11Jeez, touchy.
00:22:13It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:22:17Keep that up.
00:22:18Another thing, clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:22:21We're meeting the director.
00:22:23Already?
00:22:25This is your first time stepping out as my wife,
00:22:27and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:22:30You need to dress up nicely, alright?
00:22:31Because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife.
00:22:35Come on, this top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:22:39I'll solve this problem right now.
00:22:42Hey, Brad.
00:22:44Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:22:47Oh my god, I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:22:54But luckily, I'm a Hollywood-style-ish.
00:22:57Alright, girls, let's get going.
00:23:01Right here.
00:23:02I got it.
00:23:12Are you okay, ladies?
00:23:14Watch out, boys, calm down.
00:23:15Can't you sit up back here?
00:23:16Sit down, guys.
00:23:17Get them back here.
00:23:18Oh my god, are you okay, baby?
00:23:20Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:23:30She's my wife now, so yes, it's worth it.
00:23:35Baby, well, I did my best today.
00:23:39Remember, Rome wasn't built in the day.
00:23:41How do I look?
00:23:58Wow.
00:23:59You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:24:01Wow, you sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:24:07Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:24:11Julia, your acting skills surpassed mine.
00:24:14That's what handling a big star does to me.
00:24:17Let's go, girls.
00:24:18Thank you so much, guys.
00:24:20No problem, baby.
00:24:21Jeez, how did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:24:27Just like Kardashians.
00:24:29Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:24:33God is fair.
00:24:35Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique,
00:24:37he gave you unbridled confidence.
00:24:44Wow, you're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:24:46We look so perfect together.
00:24:48It's a match made in heaven.
00:24:51No, no, no.
00:25:02There's no spark between you two.
00:25:05You don't love your wife at all.
00:25:07I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:25:09But we haven't even started talking.
00:25:11You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:25:13I don't feel your love for her.
00:25:17He's crazy about me.
00:25:18The moment I was divorced, he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:25:24I love you, baby.
00:25:26That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:25:29Come back to me.
00:25:35Or you'll learn to be a proper.
00:25:39Jeez.
00:25:40Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:25:44Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:25:47Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water and a steak?
00:25:50Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:25:55You guessed right.
00:26:00Much better now.
00:26:02Can you eat quieter?
00:26:16You're disturbing my reading.
00:26:25You're married?
00:26:27What's up?
00:26:28What?
00:26:28Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:26:30Yeah, of course.
00:26:31I can cover your shift today.
00:26:34Where are you going?
00:26:35The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:26:46Aubrey.
00:26:47What are you doing here?
00:26:49You're not stalking me, are you?
00:26:51Listen.
00:26:52Stop harassing me.
00:26:53Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:26:55Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married too.
00:27:00It's not just you who found someone new.
00:27:02Jim!
00:27:03I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:27:09I do have a husband.
00:27:11And he's hotter, wealthier, and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:27:16If he's so great, when's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:27:21Come on, man.
00:27:22Don't just stand there.
00:27:23Serve us.
00:27:25I want hot tea.
00:27:37Jeez.
00:27:38You trying to scald me?
00:27:40Are you satisfied now?
00:27:51That's better.
00:27:53Drink up, dear.
00:27:55Ouch!
00:27:56This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:28:01Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
00:28:03It's whopping two carats.
00:28:06I heard your wedding ring was...
00:28:09A freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:28:15Wow, good for you.
00:28:17And when you guys eventually split,
00:28:19you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:28:25Don't stoop their level.
00:28:28You, go and get the stakes ready in ten minutes,
00:28:31else I'll be reporting you.
00:28:32I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:28:36Then figured it out.
00:28:37Wait!
00:28:40Tub off my water.
00:28:47Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:28:50I refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:28:56Aubrey?
00:28:57Why are you waitressing?
00:28:58We're not really married.
00:28:59What I do is none of your business.
00:29:01Let's go.
00:29:05The advertisers are waiting.
00:29:08Keep an eye on her.
00:29:10Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:29:12I'm not her agent.
00:29:13But she's my wife, at least on paper.
00:29:15Okay, guys.
00:29:16If you don't need anything else,
00:29:18I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:29:19Oh my god.
00:29:22My ring.
00:29:23It's gone.
00:29:25Since you're the only one serving us,
00:29:27I suspect you stole my ring.
00:29:29Just because you're a bitch,
00:29:30doesn't mean everyone is.
00:29:32I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn,
00:29:35let alone steal it.
00:29:37Denial won't help.
00:29:39It's only you somewhere.
00:29:40This is proof.
00:29:50I'm gonna have you fired.
00:29:52No way.
00:29:53You're framing me on purpose.
00:30:00Got it.
00:30:01Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
00:30:06You and your husband are so sweet.
00:30:08You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:30:11Sweet?
00:30:12We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:30:17Look at them.
00:30:19That's what we call sweet.
00:30:20I wish my hubby was like that.
00:30:24That's actually my husband.
00:30:25You jerk cheating on me behind my back.
00:30:27Aubrey.
00:30:28Let me explain.
00:30:30Wait, wait, wait.
00:30:32Wait, stop.
00:30:35First thing.
00:30:36All right, enough.
00:30:38Cut it out.
00:30:40I wouldn't have to be out here.
00:30:43Less than a round if you didn't push me to do it.
00:30:47Look at yourself.
00:30:48Sloppy.
00:30:49You're rude.
00:30:51Totally unfeminine.
00:30:54I want a divorce.
00:30:56Crazy lady.
00:30:56Get that scum back.
00:31:06No need for karma.
00:31:07I can't handle this myself.
00:31:09Hand me the car key.
00:31:09You're rude.
00:31:10You're rude.
00:31:19Chris.
00:31:21Leo snuck the role you wanted.
00:31:22Yes.
00:31:23No way.
00:31:23Why him?
00:31:25I cannot understand that.
00:31:27He has fewer Instagram followers than me and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
00:31:31The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:31:35Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:31:39But what about you?
00:31:41You're a 40-year-old bachelor, known around town as a total playboy.
00:31:45What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years?
00:31:52But she's married, and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her.
00:31:56You think that would lend me the role?
00:31:58Sounds more like excused me.
00:32:00That's not good enough, huh?
00:32:03Alright, do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her?
00:32:07Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:32:12Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:32:15But the problem is, you're just making this up on the spot.
00:32:19Alright.
00:32:22I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:32:26I'm so sorry.
00:32:38Are you nuts?
00:32:40Nuts?
00:32:40Is that all your men got?
00:32:45Yeah, I'm nuts.
00:32:46But you guys, eat both cooked by nuts.
00:32:48Sleep with nuts.
00:32:49Have kids with nuts.
00:32:50You are the real nuts here.
00:32:52No offense.
00:32:53But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:32:55I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:33:00Only supermodels.
00:33:02Screw you, fuck Chris Roberts!
00:33:06I sold the house.
00:33:25You've got till tonight to move out.
00:33:27Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:33:29If you want to divorce me, fine!
00:33:33Go ahead!
00:33:35But how dare you sell our house without my consent!
00:33:40I'll sue you!
00:33:41Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:33:43Don't mess with me.
00:33:44Or a fight for a custody for our staff.
00:33:46A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
00:33:50Despicable!
00:33:51So, you divorced?
00:33:54It's none of your business!
00:33:55Marry me!
00:33:59Are you insane?
00:34:07My car's worth $4 million.
00:34:10You want to talk about marriage?
00:34:12Or compensation?
00:34:15This way, ma'am.
00:34:20Watch us that, ma'am.
00:34:22Welcome, ma'am.
00:34:39Wow.
00:34:41So, it's your house at 5th Central Avenue.
00:34:43I've seen it in a magazine.
00:34:45So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:35:03No.
00:35:04This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:35:06Yours is upstairs.
00:35:07Bigger and better.
00:35:08Forget that.
00:35:10Come sign the contract.
00:35:14Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:35:17Sorry, what's your name again?
00:35:19Aubrey.
00:35:19Okay.
00:35:20Aubrey.
00:35:21Listen to me.
00:35:23I love you for more than 10 years.
00:35:25I heard that you're divorced.
00:35:28So, I popped the question right away.
00:35:30What?
00:35:32Really?
00:35:33Are you kidding me?
00:35:35Aubrey, this marriage is just for show.
00:35:37I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:35:41Relax.
00:35:42Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:35:45Great.
00:35:46That's amazing.
00:35:47Once I secure the role and back that Oscar,
00:35:50we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:35:53So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:35:58Might as well say,
00:36:00so that do us a part.
00:36:01Don't worry about that.
00:36:03I'm going to pay you an acting salary.
00:36:05The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:36:08You're Chris Roberts.
00:36:09Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:36:12Considering our attitude,
00:36:13I'm going to go with minimum wage.
00:36:15Usually, they pay around 500 grand,
00:36:18and now, 150K.
00:36:20That's enough for you.
00:36:21Per year?
00:36:23Per month, of course.
00:36:34So, you have a son?
00:36:39Don't get me wrong.
00:36:41Just want to know more about my wife.
00:36:48Yeah.
00:36:49His name is Luke.
00:36:51He's nine.
00:36:53In summer camp,
00:36:54unaware of the divorce.
00:37:05Good lord.
00:37:06That looks calorie-packed.
00:37:09First, it's not for you.
00:37:10Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:37:15Jeez, touchy.
00:37:17It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:37:20Keep that up.
00:37:22Another thing, clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:37:24We're meeting the director.
00:37:26Already?
00:37:28This is your first time stepping out as my wife,
00:37:30and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:37:33Need to dress up nicely, all right?
00:37:35Because it's going to be the first time
00:37:36that you're going to act as my wife.
00:37:38Come on.
00:37:39This top I'm wearing is, like, from the supermarket.
00:37:42I'll solve this problem right now.
00:37:45Hey, Brad.
00:37:48Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:37:50Oh, my God.
00:37:54I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:37:58Luckily, I'm a Hollywood-style-ish.
00:38:00All right, girls.
00:38:02Let's get going.
00:38:03Hmm.
00:38:05Right here.
00:38:05Are you okay, baby?
00:38:17Watch out.
00:38:18Please calm down.
00:38:18Can't you sit up back here?
00:38:20Get him out of here.
00:38:21Oh, my God.
00:38:22Are you okay, baby?
00:38:23Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:38:33She's my wife now, so yes, it's worth it.
00:38:39Baby, well, I did my best today.
00:38:42Remember, Rome wasn't built in the day.
00:38:53How do I look?
00:39:01Wow.
00:39:02You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:39:07Wow.
00:39:08You sure ain't sure of that, asked.
00:39:10Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:39:14Julia, your acting skills surpassed mine.
00:39:17That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:39:20Let's go, girls.
00:39:22Thank you so much, guys.
00:39:23No problem, baby.
00:39:26Jeez.
00:39:27How did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:39:31Just like Kardashians.
00:39:33Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:39:37God is fair.
00:39:38Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique,
00:39:41he gave you unbrittle confidence.
00:39:47Wow.
00:39:48You're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:39:49We look so perfect together.
00:39:51It's a match made in heaven.
00:39:53No, no, no.
00:40:06There's no spark between you two.
00:40:08You don't love your wife at all.
00:40:10I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:40:12But we haven't even started talking.
00:40:14You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:40:17I don't feel your love for her.
00:40:20He's crazy about me.
00:40:22The moment I was divorced,
00:40:23he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:40:26I love you, baby.
00:40:29That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:40:37Come back to me.
00:40:38You'll learn to be a proper...
00:40:40Jeez.
00:40:43Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:40:47Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:40:50Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water and a steak?
00:40:53Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:40:58You guessed right.
00:41:04Much better now.
00:41:05Can you eat quieter?
00:41:19You're disturbing my reading.
00:41:29You're married?
00:41:30What's up?
00:41:31What?
00:41:32Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:41:33Of course.
00:41:34I can cover your shift today.
00:41:37Where are you going?
00:41:39The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:41:49Aubrey.
00:41:50What are you doing here?
00:41:52You're not stalking me, are you?
00:41:54Listen.
00:41:55Stop harassing me.
00:41:57Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:42:00Sorry to disappoint you,
00:42:02but I'm married too.
00:42:03It's not just you who found someone new.
00:42:05Jim!
00:42:07I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:42:12I do have a husband.
00:42:14And he's hotter, wealthier,
00:42:16and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:42:19If he's so great,
00:42:21why is an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:42:24Come on, man.
00:42:25Don't just stand there.
00:42:26Serve us.
00:42:28I want hot tea.
00:42:31I want hot tea.
00:42:40Jeez.
00:42:41You trying to scald me?
00:42:44Are you satisfied now?
00:42:54That's better.
00:42:56Drink up, dear.
00:42:57Ouch.
00:42:59This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:43:04Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
00:43:07It's whopping two carats.
00:43:08I heard your wedding ring was a freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:43:18Wow.
00:43:19Good for you.
00:43:20And when you guys eventually split,
00:43:22you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:43:27Don't stoop to our level.
00:43:31You, go and get the steaks ready in ten minutes,
00:43:34else I'll be reporting you.
00:43:36I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:43:39Then figured it out.
00:43:42Wait.
00:43:43Pop off my water.
00:43:50Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:43:52I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:43:59Aubrey?
00:44:00Why are you waitressing?
00:44:01We're not really married.
00:44:03What I do is none of your business.
00:44:07Let's go.
00:44:08The advertisers are waiting.
00:44:09Keep an eye on her.
00:44:13Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:44:15I'm not her agent.
00:44:17But she's my wife, at least on paper.
00:44:19Okay guys, if you don't need anything else,
00:44:21I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:44:24Oh my god.
00:44:25My ring.
00:44:26It's gone.
00:44:28Since you're the only one serving us,
00:44:30I suspect you stole my ring.
00:44:32Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is.
00:44:35I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn,
00:44:38let alone spew it.
00:44:40Denying won't help.
00:44:42Let's arm you somewhere.
00:44:47See?
00:44:48This is proof.
00:44:53I'm gonna have you fired.
00:44:56No way.
00:44:56You're framing me on purpose.
00:45:03Got it.
00:45:04Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
00:45:08You and your husband are so sweet.
00:45:12You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:45:15Sweet?
00:45:15We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:45:21Look at them.
00:45:22That's what we call sweet.
00:45:23I wish my hubby was like that.
00:45:27That's actually my husband.
00:45:29You jerk cheating on me behind my back.
00:45:31Aubrey.
00:45:32Let me explain.
00:45:33Wait.
00:45:34Wait.
00:45:34Wait.
00:45:34Wait.
00:45:34Wait.
00:45:34Wait.
00:45:35Wait.
00:45:35Stop.
00:45:36Stop.
00:45:38All right.
00:45:40Enough.
00:45:42Cut it out.
00:45:43I wouldn't have to be out here.
00:45:46Lesson around.
00:45:47If you didn't push me to do it.
00:45:50Look at yourself.
00:45:51Sloppy.
00:45:53You're rude.
00:45:54Totally.
00:45:55All feminine.
00:45:57I want a divorce.
00:45:59Crazy lady.
00:46:00No need for karma.
00:46:10I can't handle this myself.
00:46:12Hand me the car key.
00:46:22Chris.
00:46:23Leo snucked the row you wanted.
00:46:26No way.
00:46:27Why him?
00:46:28I cannot understand that.
00:46:30He has fewer Instagram followers than me.
00:46:32And his last movie made only $100 million.
00:46:35The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:46:39Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:46:43But what about you?
00:46:44You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:46:49What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years?
00:46:56But she's married.
00:46:57And all my wild dating was just to try and forget her.
00:47:00You think that would lend me the role?
00:47:01Sounds more like excused me.
00:47:04That's not good enough, huh?
00:47:06Alright.
00:47:07Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her?
00:47:10Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:47:15Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:47:19But the problem is you're just making this up on the spot.
00:47:23Alright.
00:47:26I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:47:32Damn it!
00:47:34Fuck.
00:47:34I'm so sorry.
00:47:42Are you nuts?
00:47:43Nuts?
00:47:46Is that all your men got?
00:47:48Yeah, I'm nuts.
00:47:49But you guys eat good coke by nuts.
00:47:51Sleep with nuts.
00:47:52Have kids with nuts.
00:47:54You are the real nuts here.
00:47:55No offense.
00:47:57But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:47:58I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:48:01Only supermodels.
00:48:07Screw you, fuck Chris Roberts!
00:48:19Shit.
00:48:26I sold the house.
00:48:28You got till tonight to move out.
00:48:29Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:48:34If you want to divorce me, fine!
00:48:37Go ahead!
00:48:38But how dare you sell our house without my consent!
00:48:43I'll sue you!
00:48:44Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:48:46Don't mess with me.
00:48:47Or apply for the custody of Eric Starr.
00:48:49A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
00:48:53Despicable!
00:48:55So, you divorced?
00:48:57It's none of your business!
00:48:58Marry me!
00:49:06Are you insane?
00:49:10My car's worth $4 million.
00:49:13You want to talk about marriage?
00:49:16Or compensation?
00:49:19This way, Mom.
00:49:23Watch your step, Mom.
00:49:25Welcome, Mom.
00:49:43Wow.
00:49:44So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
00:49:47I've seen it in a magazine.
00:49:48So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:50:06No.
00:50:07This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:50:09Yours is upstairs.
00:50:10Bigger and better.
00:50:11Forget that.
00:50:13Come sign the contract.
00:50:17Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:50:20Sorry.
00:50:20What's your name again?
00:50:22Aubrey.
00:50:23Okay.
00:50:24Aubrey.
00:50:25Listen to me.
00:50:26I love you for more than 10 years.
00:50:28I heard that you're divorced.
00:50:30So, I popped the question right away.
00:50:35What?
00:50:36Really?
00:50:36Are you kidding me?
00:50:38Aubrey.
00:50:39This marriage is just for show.
00:50:41I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:50:45Relax.
00:50:46Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:50:48Great.
00:50:49That's amazing.
00:50:50Once I secure the role and bag that Oscar, we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:50:57So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:51:02Might as well say, so that do us a part.
00:51:05Don't worry about that.
00:51:06I'm going to pay you an acting salary.
00:51:08The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:51:11You're Chris Roberts.
00:51:13Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:51:15Considering our attitude, I'm going to go with minimum wage.
00:51:18Usually, they pay around $500,000 and now, $150,000.
00:51:23That's enough for you.
00:51:25Per year?
00:51:26Per month, of course.
00:51:38So, you have a son?
00:51:43Don't get me wrong.
00:51:44Just want to know more about my wife.
00:51:48Yeah.
00:51:53His name is Luke.
00:51:54He's nine.
00:51:56In summer camp, I'm aware of the divorce.
00:51:59Good lord.
00:52:09That looks calorie-packed.
00:52:12First, it's not for you.
00:52:14Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:52:18Jeez.
00:52:19Touchy.
00:52:20It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:52:24Keep that up.
00:52:24Another thing.
00:52:26Clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:52:27We're meeting the director.
00:52:30Already?
00:52:31This is your first time stepping out as my wife and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:52:36You need to dress up nicely, alright?
00:52:38Because it's going to be the first time that you're going to act as my wife.
00:52:41Come on.
00:52:42This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:52:46I'll solve this problem right now.
00:52:48Hey, Brad.
00:52:51Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:52:55Oh.
00:52:56My.
00:52:56God.
00:52:57I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:53:01But luckily, I'm a Hollywood-style-ish.
00:53:03Alright, girls.
00:53:05Let's get going.
00:53:08Right here.
00:53:09I got it.
00:53:18My old lady.
00:53:20Watch out.
00:53:21Boys, calm down.
00:53:22Can't you set up back here?
00:53:23Get them out of here.
00:53:25Oh my God.
00:53:26Are you okay, baby?
00:53:26Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:53:37She's my wife now.
00:53:38So yes, it's worth it.
00:53:42Baby Ro, I did my best today.
00:53:45Remember, Rome wasn't built in the day.
00:53:56How do I look?
00:54:04Wow.
00:54:05You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:54:10Wow.
00:54:11You sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:54:13Why are you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:54:17Julia, your acting skills surpassed mine.
00:54:21That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:54:24Let's go, girls.
00:54:25Thank you so much, guys.
00:54:26No problem, baby.
00:54:29Jeez.
00:54:30How did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:54:34Just like Kardashians.
00:54:36Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:54:40God is fair.
00:54:41Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique,
00:54:44he gave you unbrittle confidence.
00:54:50Wow.
00:54:51You're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:54:52We look so perfect together.
00:54:54It's a match made in heaven.
00:54:57No, no, no.
00:55:09There's no spark between you two.
00:55:11You don't love your wife at all.
00:55:13I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:55:15But we haven't even started talking.
00:55:17You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:55:20I don't feel your love for her.
00:55:23He's crazy about me.
00:55:25The moment I was divorced,
00:55:26he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:55:29I love you, baby.
00:55:32That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:55:40Come back to me.
00:55:42You'll learn to be a proverb.
00:55:45Jeez.
00:55:46Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:55:51Yes.
00:55:51But he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:55:53Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water and a steak?
00:55:56Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:56:02You guessed right.
00:56:07Much better now.
00:56:08Can you eat quieter?
00:56:22You're disturbing my reading.
00:56:32You're married?
00:56:33What's up?
00:56:34What?
00:56:35Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:56:37Of course.
00:56:37I can cover your shift today.
00:56:40Where are you going?
00:56:42The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:56:53Aubrey.
00:56:54What are you doing here?
00:56:56You're not stalking me, are you?
00:56:58Listen.
00:56:58Stop harassing me.
00:57:00Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:57:03Sorry to disappoint you,
00:57:05but I'm married too.
00:57:06It's not just you who found someone new.
00:57:09Jim!
00:57:10I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:57:16I do have a husband.
00:57:17And he's hotter, wealthier,
00:57:20and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:57:22If he's so great,
00:57:24when's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:57:28Come on, man.
00:57:28Don't just stand there.
00:57:29Serve us.
00:57:31I want hot tea.
00:57:34I want hot tea.
00:57:43Jeez.
00:57:45You trying to scald me?
00:57:47Are you satisfied now?
00:57:58That's better.
00:57:59Drink up, dear.
00:58:00Ouch.
00:58:02This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:58:07Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
00:58:10It's whopping two carats.
00:58:12I heard your wedding ring was a freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:58:21Wow.
00:58:22Good for you.
00:58:24And when you guys eventually split,
00:58:25you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:58:30Don't stoop to our level.
00:58:34You, go and get the steaks ready in ten minutes.
00:58:37Else, I'll be reporting you.
00:58:39I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:58:42Then figured it out.
00:58:45Wait.
00:58:46Tub off my water.
00:58:54Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:58:56No, I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:59:02Aubrey?
00:59:03Why are you waitressing?
00:59:05We're not really married.
00:59:06What I do is none of your business.
00:59:10Let's go.
00:59:11The advertisers are waiting.
00:59:12Keep an eye on her.
00:59:17Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:59:19I'm not her agent.
00:59:20But she's my wife.
00:59:21At least on paper.
00:59:22Okay, guys.
00:59:23If you don't need anything else,
00:59:24I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:59:27Oh my god.
00:59:29My ring.
00:59:30It's gone.
00:59:31Since you're the only one serving us,
00:59:33I suspect you stole my ring.
00:59:35Just because you're a bitch
00:59:37doesn't mean everyone is.
00:59:38I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn,
00:59:41let alone steal it.
00:59:43Denial won't help.
00:59:46Let's arm you somewhere.
00:59:50See?
00:59:51This is proof.
00:59:56I'm gonna have you fired.
00:59:59No way.
01:00:00You're framing me on purpose.
01:00:06Got it.
01:00:07Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
01:00:11You and your husband are so sweet.
01:00:15You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
01:00:18Sweet?
01:00:19We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
01:00:24Look at them.
01:00:25That's what we call sweet.
01:00:27I wish my hubby was like that.
01:00:30Fuck, that's actually my husband.
01:00:32You jerk cheating on me behind my back.
01:00:34Aubrey.
01:00:35Let me explain.
01:00:37Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:39Stop.
01:00:39All right, enough.
01:00:45Cut it out.
01:00:47I wouldn't have to be out here.
01:00:49Messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
01:00:53Look at yourself.
01:00:55Sloppy.
01:00:56You're rude.
01:00:58Totally unfeminine.
01:01:00I want a divorce.
01:01:02Crazy lady.
01:01:03No!
01:01:04No!
01:01:04No!
01:01:04No!
01:01:04No!
01:01:05No!
01:01:05No!
01:01:05No!
01:01:05No!
01:01:05No!
01:01:06No!
01:01:06No!
01:01:06No!
01:01:07No!
01:01:07No!
01:01:08No!
01:01:08No!
01:01:10No!
01:01:11Karma will get that scum back!
01:01:13No need for karma.
01:01:14I can handle this myself.
01:01:15Hand me the car key.
01:01:26Chris, Leo snucked the row you wanted.
01:01:28No way. Why him? I cannot understand that. He has fewer Instagram followers than me, and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
01:01:38The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife. Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
01:01:46But what about you? You're a 40-year-old bachelor, known around town as a total playboy.
01:01:51What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years, but she's married, and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her? You think that would lend me the role?
01:02:04Sounds more like excused me.
01:02:07That's not good enough, huh?
01:02:09Alright, do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her, vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
01:02:18Now that's a story people might buy into. But the problem is, you're just making this up on the spot.
01:02:26Alright.
01:02:29I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
01:02:35Damn it!
01:02:37Fuck.
01:02:44I'm so sorry.
01:02:45Are you nuts?
01:02:46Nuts?
01:02:48Is that all your men got?
01:02:51Yeah, I'm nuts.
01:02:52But you guys, eat don't cook by nuts.
01:02:55Sleep with nuts.
01:02:56Have kids with nuts.
01:02:57You are the real nuts here.
01:02:59No offense.
01:03:00But I'm Chris Roberts.
01:03:01I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
01:03:07Only supermodels.
01:03:10Screw you, fuck Chris Roberts!
01:03:12I sold the house.
01:03:31You've got till tonight to move out.
01:03:33Or your stuff will be thrown away.
01:03:35If you want to divorce me, fine!
01:03:40Go ahead!
01:03:40But how dare you sell our house without my consent!
01:03:46I'll sue you!
01:03:47Think you can afford a lawyer?
01:03:49Don't mess with me.
01:03:51Or apply for a custody for our son.
01:03:53A jobless house like what you won't stand a chance.
01:03:57Despicable!
01:03:58So, you divorced?
01:04:00It's none of your business!
01:04:02Marry me!
01:04:03Are you insane?
01:04:13My car's worth $4 million.
01:04:16You want to talk about marriage?
01:04:19Or compensation?
01:04:22This way, Mom.
01:04:27Watch us stop, Mom.
01:04:33Welcome, Ma'am.
01:04:46Wow.
01:04:47So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
01:04:50I've seen it in a magazine.
01:05:03So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
01:05:09No.
01:05:10This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
01:05:12Yours is upstairs.
01:05:13Bigger and better.
01:05:15Forget that.
01:05:16Come sign the contract.
01:05:21Sign this, and you will be my wife.
01:05:23Sorry, what's your name again?
01:05:25Aubrey.
01:05:26Okay.
01:05:27Aubrey, listen to me.
01:05:29I love you for more than 10 years.
01:05:32I heard that you're divorced.
01:05:34So, I popped the question right away.
01:05:38What?
01:05:39Really?
01:05:40Are you kidding me?
01:05:42Aubrey, this marriage is just for show.
01:05:44I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
01:05:48Relax.
01:05:49Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
01:05:51Great.
01:05:52That's amazing.
01:05:53Once I secure the role and back that Oscar,
01:05:56we'll part our ways smoothly.
01:06:01So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
01:06:05Might as well say,
01:06:06so that do us a part.
01:06:08Don't worry about that.
01:06:09I'm going to pay you an acting salary.
01:06:12The same as I do with my models and actors.
01:06:14You're Chris Roberts.
01:06:16Those actresses must earn a fortune.
01:06:19Considering our attitude,
01:06:20I'm going to go with minimum wage.
01:06:22Usually, they pay around $500,000 and now, $150,000.
01:06:26That's enough for you.
01:06:29Per year?
01:06:29Per month, of course.
01:06:41So, you have a son?
01:06:46Don't get me wrong.
01:06:47Just want to know more about my wife.
01:06:52Yeah.
01:06:56His name is Luke.
01:06:57He's nine.
01:06:59In summer camp,
01:07:01I'm aware of the divorce.
01:07:11Good lord.
01:07:12That looks calorie-packed.
01:07:15First, it's not for you.
01:07:17Second,
01:07:18I hate when people reduce food to calories.
01:07:20Jeez, touchy.
01:07:23It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
01:07:27Keep that up.
01:07:28Another thing,
01:07:29clear your schedule for tomorrow.
01:07:31We're meeting the director.
01:07:33Already?
01:07:34This is your first time stepping out as my wife,
01:07:37and I really want you to take it seriously.
01:07:39You need to dress up nicely, all right?
01:07:41Because it's going to be the first time
01:07:43that you're going to act as my wife.
01:07:44Come on.
01:07:46This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
01:07:49I'll solve this problem right now.
01:07:52Hey, Brad.
01:07:54Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
01:07:56Oh, my God.
01:08:01I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
01:08:04Luckily, I'm a Hollywood-stylish.
01:08:07All right, girls.
01:08:08Let's get going.
01:08:10Right here.
01:08:12Are you okay, baby?
01:08:23Watch out.
01:08:24Please calm down.
01:08:25Can you set up back here?
01:08:26Sit down, baby.
01:08:27Get back here.
01:08:28Oh, my God.
01:08:29Are you okay, baby?
01:08:35Are these ladies' fashion pieces
01:08:38worth the expense for her?
01:08:40She's my wife now, so yes.
01:08:42It's worth it.
01:08:45Baby Ro, I did my best today.
01:08:48Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day.
01:09:05How do I look?
01:09:07Wow.
01:09:08You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
01:09:14Wow.
01:09:14You sure ain't sure of that ass.
01:09:16Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
01:09:20Julia,
01:09:21your acting skill surpassed mine.
01:09:24That's what handling a big story does to me.
01:09:27Let's go, girls.
01:09:28Thank you so much, guys.
01:09:30No problem, baby.
01:09:31Geez.
01:09:33How did I not realize my backside has such potential?
01:09:37Just like Kardashians.
01:09:39Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
01:09:43God is fair.
01:09:45Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique,
01:09:47he gave you unbridled confidence.
01:09:49Wow, you're totally going to nail that role now.
01:09:56We look so perfect together.
01:09:58It's a match made in heaven.
01:10:00No, no, no.
01:10:12There's no spark between you two.
01:10:15You don't love your wife at all.
01:10:16I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
01:10:18But we haven't even started talking.
01:10:21You know the law talk is about feeling.
01:10:23I don't feel your love for her.
01:10:27He's crazy about me.
01:10:28The moment I was divorced,
01:10:30he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
01:10:34I love you, baby.
01:10:36That's because I just can't wait
01:10:37to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:10:44Come back to me.
01:10:45You'll learn to be a proper other.
01:10:48Geez.
01:10:49Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director
01:10:52and not some charlatan?
01:10:54Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
01:10:57Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water
01:10:59and a steak?
01:11:00Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper
01:11:02bursting from one extra bite.
01:11:05You guessed right.
01:11:10Much better now.
01:11:18Can you eat quieter?
01:11:25You're disturbing my reading.
01:11:35You're married?
01:11:36What's up?
01:11:38What?
01:11:38Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
01:11:40Yeah, of course.
01:11:41I can cover your shift today.
01:11:42Where are you going?
01:11:45The contract doesn't require me
01:11:47to report my personal itinerary to you.
01:11:56Aubrey, what are you doing here?
01:11:59You're not stalking me, are you?
01:12:01Listen, stop harassing me.
01:12:03Tiffany and I are engaged.
01:12:05Sorry to disappoint you,
01:12:08but I'm married too.
01:12:10It's not just you who found someone new.
01:12:12Jim!
01:12:13I told you she put up a front
01:12:15about finding someone else.
01:12:19I do have a husband.
01:12:21And he's hotter, wealthier,
01:12:23and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
01:12:25If he's so great,
01:12:27when's an old-timer like you
01:12:29still going here serving tapes?
01:12:31Come on, man.
01:12:32Don't just stand there.
01:12:33Serve us.
01:12:33I want hot tea.
01:12:47Jeez.
01:12:48You trying to scald me?
01:12:59Are you satisfied now?
01:13:01That's better.
01:13:03Drink up, dear.
01:13:04Ouch.
01:13:06This huge diamond ring
01:13:08makes it hard to lift my hand.
01:13:11Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
01:13:13It's whopping two carats.
01:13:16I heard your wedding ring was...
01:13:18a freebie that came with
01:13:21some furniture shopping,
01:13:23wasn't it?
01:13:24Wow.
01:13:25Good for you.
01:13:27And when you guys eventually split,
01:13:29you will get a nice chunk of change
01:13:32from selling this treasure.
01:13:35Don't stoop to our level.
01:13:37You,
01:13:38go and get the stakes ready in ten minutes,
01:13:41else I'll be reporting you.
01:13:42I said
01:13:43half an hour
01:13:44when you ordered.
01:13:45Then,
01:13:46figure it out.
01:13:48Wait.
01:13:49Tub off my water.
01:13:57Mary,
01:13:58you owe me a proper meal.
01:14:00I refrain from stabbing those two
01:14:01for your job's sake.
01:14:02Aubrey?
01:14:07Why are you waitressing?
01:14:08We're not really married.
01:14:09What I do is none of your business.
01:14:14Let's go.
01:14:14The advertisers are waiting.
01:14:15Keep an eye on her.
01:14:20Make sure nobody messes with her.
01:14:22I'm not her agent.
01:14:23But she's my wife,
01:14:24at least on paper.
01:14:25Okay guys,
01:14:26if you don't need anything else,
01:14:28I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
01:14:30Oh my god!
01:14:32My ring!
01:14:33It's gone!
01:14:35Since you're the only one serving us,
01:14:37I suspect you stole my ring.
01:14:39Just because you're a bitch
01:14:40doesn't mean everyone is.
01:14:42I wouldn't even want to touch
01:14:44the stuff you've worn,
01:14:45let alone steal it.
01:14:47Then now you won't help.
01:14:49Let's all meet you somewhere.
01:14:53See?
01:14:54This is proof.
01:14:59I'm gonna have you
01:15:01fired!
01:15:02No way!
01:15:03You're framing me on purpose!
01:15:10Got it.
01:15:11Get the restaurant owner
01:15:12over here for me.
01:15:15I'm gonna have you
01:15:16I'm gonna have you
01:15:16I'm gonna have you
01:15:17I'm gonna have you
01:15:18I'm gonna have you
01:15:18I'm gonna have you
01:15:19I'm gonna have you
01:15:19I'm gonna have you
01:15:20I'm gonna have you
01:15:20I'm gonna have you
01:15:21I'm gonna have you
01:15:21I'm gonna have you
01:15:21I'm gonna have you
01:15:22I'm gonna have you
01:15:22I'm gonna have you
01:15:23I'm gonna have you
01:15:23I'm gonna have you
01:15:24I'm gonna have you
01:15:24I'm gonna have you
01:15:25I'm gonna have you
01:15:25I'm gonna have you
01:15:26I'm gonna have you
01:15:26I'm gonna have you
01:15:27I'm gonna have you
01:15:27I'm gonna have you
01:15:28I'm gonna have you
01:15:28I'm gonna have you
01:15:29I'm gonna have you
01:15:30I'm gonna have you
01:15:30I'm gonna have you
01:15:31I'm gonna have you
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