How to Love Anxiety! Twitter/X Space

Stefan Molyneux

Twitter Space 24 July 2025  In this episode, I critically examine the philosophical ideas of Alan Watts, questioning the relevance of his insights on anxiety, childhood, and personal responsibility. I challenge Watts’ assertion that anxiety is unproductive, arguing instead that it can serve as a vital catalyst for action and survival, much as it did for our ancestors. The discussion encourages listeners to reflect on the importance of embracing anxiety rather than suppressing it, particularly in the context of personal growth and financial stability. By exploring the societal implications of anxiety, especially among women, I invite the audience to consider how their values and choices impact their lives. Ultimately, this episode offers a nuanced perspective on the relationship between anxiety and proactive living, emphasizing that channeling our worries can lead to meaningful engagement and reduce regret.  FOLLOW ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux  GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK! https://peacefulparenting.com/  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!  You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!  See you soon! https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025

Transcript

00:00:00Well, good morning, everybody. Hope you're doing well. Stefan Molyneux from Free Domain.

00:00:06Free Domain.

00:00:08FreeDomain.com slash Jenae to help out the show.

00:00:11Now, Alan Watts.

00:00:14Alan, W-A-T-T-S.

00:00:17I was going to talk about this anyway, so I might as well talk about it on a space and get your thoughts and your feedback.

00:00:25So, Alan Watts, you know, I got to tell you.

00:00:30And he's got this picture with these hippie love beads, and he's got an unlit pipe clenched in his jaw, staring soulfully at the camera, and it's just hippie-dippie crap.

00:00:41And he was a mystic, an Eastern Buddhist, and he had three appalling vices.

00:00:48Now, listen, I mean, I'm not saying people have to be perfect.

00:00:52Lord knows I'm not, but come on, man.

00:00:55And if you're going to claim to be wise, if you're going to claim to be able to deal with negative emotions, how about you're not a triple addict in your life?

00:01:04Does that disprove his arguments?

00:01:07No, but it makes me uninterested in them.

00:01:10In the same way that if a fat guy is trying to sell you his diet book, you're not going to check into the diet book because he's fat.

00:01:18So, just for those of you who don't know, Alan Watts was a chain smoker.

00:01:27He was a rampant alcoholic, and he was, I don't know, you could say womanizer.

00:01:33I would categorize it as man-whore, married three times, slept with everything that moved.

00:01:38And that's trashy in that he died, I assume, as an accumulation of his physical vices.

00:01:44He died at the age of 58.

00:01:46Hey, my age.

00:01:48So, we, of course, know, those of us who studied this stuff at all, we know that child abuse leads to addiction.

00:01:58The addict is trying to feel normal.

00:01:59He's not trying to get a high.

00:02:01He's just trying to get away from a low caused by early childhood trauma, for the most part, for the most part.

00:02:07And he was not rigorous.

00:02:09He didn't work from first principles.

00:02:11He was not syllogistic.

00:02:12And that's lazy.

00:02:14I really dislike this.

00:02:15I really loathe, loathe.

00:02:16Loathe and dislike is loathe, loathe.

00:02:19This mystical, we are one with the universe, and just all of this trash and crap and garbage.

00:02:25And I will tell you, as a whole, as a whole, I have a near-bottomless contempt for most prior philosophers.

00:02:33I'll just tell you straight up.

00:02:35I have near-bottomless contempt for most prior philosophers.

00:02:37And I've done a whole history of philosophers series, which you can get at freedomain.locals.com.

00:02:43You can subscribe.

00:02:43It's a 23-part series from all the way from the pre-Socratics all the way up to just before Immanuel Kant.

00:02:50And as I sort of say, why?

00:02:52Were they brilliant?

00:02:53Absolutely.

00:02:54Many of them, of course, infinitely smarter than me.

00:02:57But, but, maybe it's because almost no philosophers have had much experience in the business world with their own money.

00:03:04And the business world just teaches you to prioritize stuff when your own money and your own future is on the line.

00:03:12Or maybe it's just good old Anglo-Saxon practicality that emanates from my Irish thought-based soul.

00:03:18I don't know.

00:03:19But philosophers have not dealt with childhood.

00:03:22Philosophers rampantly avoid the ethics of parenting and childhood.

00:03:27And as a result, they deliver endless successions of humanity into the arms and claws of evildoers.

00:03:36So, just that's my particular perspective.

00:03:38How can philosophy be 5,000 years old or 3,000 years old?

00:03:43You could probably argue 3,000.

00:03:44It's a little hard to find stuff earlier than that.

00:03:46How can philosophy be 3,000 years old?

00:03:48And no philosopher has taken on childhood prior to me.

00:03:52No philosopher has taken on parenting.

00:03:54You can find scraps of it sort of here and there.

00:03:56Locke, John Locke talks about it a little bit and so on.

00:03:59But philosophers don't do childhood.

00:04:02And childhood is the source of corruption and evil.

00:04:05So, why?

00:04:08Why wouldn't they?

00:04:09Why wouldn't they do that?

00:04:11So, anyway, when I come across Alan Watts,

00:04:14my eyes roll faster than a Vegas slot machine cranking out lemons.

00:04:18So, I came across or saw on my feed on X.

00:04:24Thanks, Elon.

00:04:25Appreciate it.

00:04:26Anyway, so there's Alan Watts with his hippie beads and his clenched pipe

00:04:30and his roomy eyes staring soulfully into the camera.

00:04:36And Alan Watts says,

00:04:37no amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen.

00:04:42No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen.

00:04:46You know, if Alan Watts had been sort of anxious about maybe not being a shitty dad,

00:04:53because you can't have three marriages and a bunch of affairs and be a good father,

00:04:58you just can't.

00:04:58Monogamy is the best place and the safest place for children to grow up in.

00:05:02Like, two-parent household, monogamous household has developed,

00:05:05at least in the West and as it has in most places,

00:05:07because it is the safest place for children to be raised in.

00:05:11So, he didn't give a shit about his children.

00:05:13He was a terrible father.

00:05:14Because if you give a shit about your children,

00:05:17you try to take care of your health.

00:05:18You don't burden them with an early death.

00:05:20You don't run and jump to a succession of marriages.

00:05:24You don't fornicate with everything,

00:05:26with a breathing hole and a vagina hole.

00:05:29So, shitty husband, shitty dad, triple addict.

00:05:34And I'm supposed to take this guy seriously when he tells me about life?

00:05:36Are you kidding?

00:05:38It's embarrassing.

00:05:40It's embarrassing.

00:05:41And I, you know, I don't know.

00:05:42Did he take drugs?

00:05:43I haven't really looked that much into his life,

00:05:45but everybody who's into mysticism,

00:05:49who's from the West,

00:05:50everybody who's into mysticism,

00:05:52is just using it as a cover to manage their trauma through drugs.

00:05:58So, if he'd had a little bit of anxiety

00:06:00about whether he was a good or a bad man,

00:06:03he might have been a better father.

00:06:05He might have protected his children more.

00:06:07If he'd worried, maybe just worried a little bit

00:06:09about the effects of rampant alcoholism and chain smoking,

00:06:13he might have lived to 60.

00:06:15Ah, he's a guru.

00:06:16And a guru is just a man whore with hippie beads,

00:06:20for the most part.

00:06:23So, he says,

00:06:24no amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that's going to happen.

00:06:28So, what I wrote was,

00:06:29if my ancestors hadn't worried about food,

00:06:32we wouldn't have made it through the winter,

00:06:33you pretentious douchebag.

00:06:35And it is.

00:06:36He is a pretentious douchebag.

00:06:37Oh, no, but he's so deep.

00:06:39And he said, no, show me his syllogisms.

00:06:41Show me his arguments.

00:06:43Show me his empirical evidence.

00:06:45Show me where he restrained himself

00:06:48out of the course of objective virtue.

00:06:51Show me where he philosophized,

00:06:53did philosophy,

00:06:54reasoning from first principles,

00:06:55according to logic and evidence.

00:06:59No, he just rambled,

00:07:01spoke a bunch of shit,

00:07:02confused a bunch of people,

00:07:04and offers you a release

00:07:05from the necessities of living.

00:07:08Now, if you'd have said,

00:07:10excess anxiety is not helpful,

00:07:12I mean,

00:07:13okay, I mean,

00:07:14I would accept that as somewhat true,

00:07:16but it's self-definition.

00:07:18It's a self-definition, right?

00:07:19So, if you say,

00:07:22an excess of something is unhelpful,

00:07:24well, the unhelpful stuff

00:07:25is contained in the word excess.

00:07:28You're overthinking.

00:07:29It's like,

00:07:30it doesn't mean anything.

00:07:32It doesn't mean anything.

00:07:34A criticism has to reference

00:07:35something other than itself.

00:07:38Overeating is bad.

00:07:40It's like,

00:07:40but you just put the word over in.

00:07:42So, you've defined it as negative

00:07:44by an excess,

00:07:45and you say,

00:07:45so basically it's saying

00:07:46an excess is bad.

00:07:49It's like, okay,

00:07:49but it doesn't really help anyone

00:07:50because what is an excess?

00:07:52What is a deficiency?

00:07:53How do you know?

00:07:55Too much worry is bad.

00:07:58Okay.

00:08:00So,

00:08:01how much is too much worry?

00:08:02How do you matter?

00:08:03Like, it doesn't,

00:08:04it's just saying an excess

00:08:05is a negative,

00:08:06but the negative is

00:08:07contained within the definition of

00:08:09it's an excess.

00:08:11It's pointless.

00:08:12But he's saying

00:08:13no amount

00:08:14of anxiety,

00:08:17no amount of anxiety

00:08:20makes any difference

00:08:20to anything that is going to happen.

00:08:22So, what he's offering you

00:08:24is

00:08:24stupidity,

00:08:26idiocy.

00:08:28You know,

00:08:28there was a

00:08:29famous song by Bobby

00:08:30Ferrin,

00:08:31he's a jazz master,

00:08:33this Bobby Ferrin had a song,

00:08:35do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

00:08:38Don't worry.

00:08:39Don't worry.

00:08:40Be happy.

00:08:41And I just remember

00:08:42somebody

00:08:43had a piece of graffiti.

00:08:45There were two pieces of

00:08:46graffiti that I saw

00:08:47that really resonated

00:08:48with me.

00:08:49One was in my high school

00:08:50and it said,

00:08:51mutate now

00:08:52before the post-war rush

00:08:53because of course

00:08:53we were all

00:08:54growing up

00:08:55under the shadow

00:08:56of nuclear war.

00:08:58Mutate now

00:08:59before the post-war rush.

00:09:01And another one

00:09:01was somebody

00:09:02when this song

00:09:03was very popular,

00:09:04don't worry,

00:09:04be happy,

00:09:05they said,

00:09:05don't worry,

00:09:07be a dummy.

00:09:09It's kind of true

00:09:10because

00:09:12those of us

00:09:13who grew up

00:09:13sort of the ice people,

00:09:14the snow people,

00:09:15we grew up

00:09:15long winters.

00:09:16Well,

00:09:17we had to,

00:09:18we had to be anxious.

00:09:19We had to be,

00:09:20we had to worry,

00:09:20we had to worry

00:09:21because it's a long-ass winter

00:09:22and if you don't get it right,

00:09:24if you don't get it right,

00:09:26you're dead.

00:09:27You die.

00:09:27You starve to death.

00:09:28You can't make it.

00:09:30Now,

00:09:30of course,

00:09:30in the tropics,

00:09:31I didn't mind,

00:09:32you know,

00:09:32you can lie in your hammock,

00:09:34there's food everywhere,

00:09:35there's no winter,

00:09:36you never have to worry

00:09:37about storage

00:09:37and all of that kind of stuff.

00:09:39So,

00:09:39yeah,

00:09:39I mean,

00:09:39there's sort of

00:09:40the famous chill

00:09:41of the Caribbean

00:09:42and the islands

00:09:42and all of that.

00:09:44I don't know why

00:09:44you stress and worry,

00:09:46just relax,

00:09:46enjoy life.

00:09:47It's like,

00:09:47oh,

00:09:47well,

00:09:47that's fine

00:09:48for your ancestors

00:09:48because you didn't have winter

00:09:50to deal with.

00:09:55And so,

00:09:56yeah,

00:09:56it's a different culture,

00:09:57it's a different mindset,

00:09:58nothing wrong with it,

00:10:00it's perfectly appropriate.

00:10:01It's not negative

00:10:02to not worry

00:10:04in the tropics

00:10:04and it's not negative

00:10:06to worry

00:10:06in cold climates.

00:10:09I mean,

00:10:09some of the highest IQ people

00:10:10in the world,

00:10:12the East Asians,

00:10:13orientals,

00:10:15they used to be called

00:10:15before that became,

00:10:17I think,

00:10:17disorienting.

00:10:19And

00:10:19they came out

00:10:21of Siberia,

00:10:22which is

00:10:22some of the worst winters

00:10:24really

00:10:24in the known universe.

00:10:26Now,

00:10:26of course,

00:10:27there are people

00:10:27who have even worse winters,

00:10:28almost a perpetual winter,

00:10:30which would be Inuit,

00:10:30or the Eskimo

00:10:31up north,

00:10:32but they didn't do agriculture,

00:10:34they just did hunting.

00:10:35So,

00:10:35it's a different matter.

00:10:36They can still get their food

00:10:37year-round.

00:10:38So,

00:10:39they don't have

00:10:39the same constraints.

00:10:40But when we went agricultural,

00:10:42we had to

00:10:44bottle,

00:10:45jam,

00:10:45store,

00:10:46freeze,

00:10:47or whatever,

00:10:48make sure that we had

00:10:49enough food for the winter.

00:10:50So,

00:10:50you get anxiety.

00:10:51Oh,

00:10:51do I have enough food?

00:10:52And those who didn't have

00:10:54anxiety

00:10:54didn't live.

00:10:56Now,

00:10:56those who have too much anxiety

00:10:57maybe stress out

00:10:58and burns out their adrenals

00:11:00and they drown in cortisol

00:11:02and whatever it is,

00:11:03right?

00:11:04So,

00:11:04too much.

00:11:05So,

00:11:06anxiety or worry

00:11:07or concern

00:11:07falls into the Aristotelian meat.

00:11:09too little

00:11:10and you don't see

00:11:11dangers coming

00:11:12too much

00:11:13and

00:11:14your anxiety

00:11:16has now become

00:11:16the predator.

00:11:17So,

00:11:17think of

00:11:17ye olde zebra,

00:11:19right?

00:11:19Let's go back to our

00:11:20good stripy friends

00:11:21to make these analogies

00:11:22because that's so vivid,

00:11:23right?

00:11:24So,

00:11:25go back to the zebra.

00:11:27The zebra

00:11:27thinks,

00:11:30oh,

00:11:31wait,

00:11:31is that

00:11:31something moving

00:11:33in the grass over there?

00:11:34Hang on,

00:11:35I think that grass

00:11:36is moving,

00:11:37that tall grass

00:11:37is moving kind of weird.

00:11:39Now,

00:11:39if the zebra

00:11:40has no worry,

00:11:43no concern,

00:11:43no anxiety,

00:11:45then the zebra

00:11:46dies.

00:11:48Don't do,

00:11:49I bet you it's just

00:11:49the wind in the grass.

00:11:52And it's

00:11:54zebra drumsticks

00:11:55for all of the lion cubs.

00:11:57On the other hand,

00:11:58if the zebra

00:11:59is too jumpy

00:12:00and the zebra

00:12:01worries about everything,

00:12:02even the little bit of grass,

00:12:03even a faint smell

00:12:04and keeps running

00:12:05and charging

00:12:05all over the place,

00:12:06then the zebra

00:12:08is expending

00:12:08useless calories

00:12:09and thus lowering

00:12:11its chances of survival.

00:12:12Also,

00:12:12the zebra,

00:12:13by running

00:12:13all over the place,

00:12:14might trip and fall,

00:12:15might break a leg,

00:12:16might stumble,

00:12:16might whatever,

00:12:17right?

00:12:18Might run into lions

00:12:19by accident,

00:12:19right?

00:12:20So,

00:12:20you've got to have

00:12:21the right amount

00:12:22of caution

00:12:22in life.

00:12:24And absolute idiots,

00:12:26sophists,

00:12:26come along and say,

00:12:28well,

00:12:28the ideal,

00:12:30you see,

00:12:30is to have no anxiety

00:12:31at all.

00:12:32All anxiety

00:12:33is a negative

00:12:34and you've got

00:12:35to have no anxiety.

00:12:36He's like,

00:12:36no,

00:12:36there are predators

00:12:37in this world,

00:12:38bro.

00:12:40I mean,

00:12:42bro couldn't even

00:12:42figure out

00:12:43how to stop

00:12:43smoking,

00:12:45womanizing.

00:12:46He couldn't even

00:12:47figure out

00:12:47how to put down

00:12:48the bottle.

00:12:49And he's going

00:12:50to tell me

00:12:51he's wise

00:12:52in the ways

00:12:53of life?

00:12:54A triple addict

00:12:56who killed himself,

00:12:57shredded his families,

00:12:59I mean,

00:12:59didn't seriously

00:13:00kill himself,

00:13:01but he acted

00:13:01in a way

00:13:01that was going

00:13:02to shorten

00:13:02his lifespan

00:13:03probably by 30 years,

00:13:04right?

00:13:05Didn't care enough

00:13:06about his children

00:13:06to stop his addictions

00:13:08and maintain

00:13:08his marriages.

00:13:09His marriage

00:13:10should have been

00:13:10a single marriage.

00:13:11He's going to tell

00:13:12me about life.

00:13:13I mean,

00:13:13it's ridiculous.

00:13:15It's embarrassing.

00:13:17So,

00:13:17I pointed out,

00:13:19if my ancestors,

00:13:20or I guess

00:13:21Alan what,

00:13:21right?

00:13:21He's a white guy,

00:13:22so if,

00:13:23if our ancestors

00:13:26had lived

00:13:26as you suggest,

00:13:28none of us

00:13:28would be here.

00:13:29Or to put it

00:13:30another way,

00:13:31the ancestors

00:13:31thought the opposite

00:13:33of Alan Watts,

00:13:35and that's how

00:13:36Alan Watts

00:13:37came to be.

00:13:38And I try my very best

00:13:39like to honor

00:13:40the mental,

00:13:42genetic,

00:13:42biological,

00:13:43cultural,

00:13:44language.

00:13:44I do my best

00:13:45to honor

00:13:46what my ancestors

00:13:47have provided.

00:13:49Because,

00:13:50you know,

00:13:50if you're European,

00:13:51your ancestors

00:13:51were pretty cool,

00:13:53right?

00:13:53From 800 BC

00:13:54to 1950,

00:13:55like 97%

00:13:56of scientific advancements

00:13:58came from Europeans.

00:13:59That's pretty cool.

00:14:00Birth of the modern world,

00:14:01pretty cool.

00:14:03Other races

00:14:03and cultures

00:14:04have produced

00:14:04pretty cool stuff,

00:14:05but when it comes

00:14:06to science

00:14:06and philosophy,

00:14:07pooh-hoo,

00:14:09nobody beats

00:14:09the tidy-whities,

00:14:10right?

00:14:11So,

00:14:12I really,

00:14:13really dislike it

00:14:14when people spit

00:14:15on the legacy

00:14:15of the struggling

00:14:17ancestors

00:14:18that carried forward

00:14:20and handed to us

00:14:21the great precious

00:14:22gift of life.

00:14:23It's gross.

00:14:25It's selfish.

00:14:27It is the squandering

00:14:27of great fortune

00:14:28that people suffered

00:14:29enormously

00:14:29to provide to you.

00:14:31And,

00:14:32so,

00:14:33it's funny,

00:14:34again,

00:14:34it's,

00:14:35I just tell the truth.

00:14:37I mean,

00:14:37as,

00:14:38and I'm,

00:14:38you know,

00:14:39I'm not,

00:14:39obviously,

00:14:40I'm not the oracle

00:14:40at Delphi,

00:14:41obviously,

00:14:41I get things wrong,

00:14:42but I tell the truth

00:14:43and I have reasons

00:14:44behind what it is

00:14:45that I say.

00:14:46I have reasons behind.

00:14:47I mean,

00:14:47look,

00:14:47I've taken on

00:14:48the entire planet

00:14:49and I still do

00:14:49on a regular basis.

00:14:51To make friends

00:14:51and break friends

00:14:52is my entire business model,

00:14:53right?

00:14:54Because people like,

00:14:54oh,

00:14:54I like you for this,

00:14:55man,

00:14:55and then I apply

00:14:56the exact same principles

00:14:57to something else.

00:14:57They get triggered

00:14:58and storm at me

00:14:59and rage quit

00:15:00and yell

00:15:01and insult

00:15:02and,

00:15:02right?

00:15:02So,

00:15:02I,

00:15:03you know,

00:15:03I've had to learn

00:15:03to deal with a certain

00:15:04amount of hostility

00:15:05in the world.

00:15:06That's the gig

00:15:06of the philosopher

00:15:07and it's the greatest gig

00:15:08in the world,

00:15:08honestly.

00:15:09Absolutely worth it.

00:15:10The greatest gig

00:15:11in the world,

00:15:11right?

00:15:11So,

00:15:13when he says

00:15:15no amount of anxiety

00:15:16makes any difference

00:15:16to anything

00:15:17that's going to happen,

00:15:18it's an IQ test.

00:15:19It is telling you,

00:15:21it is just an IQ test

00:15:22because anxiety

00:15:24is a universal

00:15:25human phenomenon.

00:15:26Why?

00:15:27Because we are both

00:15:28predators and prey.

00:15:30We are the alpha,

00:15:31I mean,

00:15:31in terms of,

00:15:32relative to animals,

00:15:34in general,

00:15:34we are the alpha predator,

00:15:36right?

00:15:37We can take on all animals

00:15:38because of our technology.

00:15:39However,

00:15:40we're also prey

00:15:40to sophists

00:15:42and liars

00:15:42and tyrants

00:15:43and kings

00:15:44and warlords

00:15:44and like,

00:15:45so we are prey as well.

00:15:47We are prey as well.

00:15:49So,

00:15:50of course,

00:15:51people are saying,

00:15:52what do they say?

00:15:53Anxiety didn't produce

00:15:54the food,

00:15:55the actions taken

00:15:56to get the food did.

00:15:58And it's funny

00:15:58because this,

00:15:59this username

00:16:00who says this stupid thing,

00:16:03I'm not saying

00:16:03he's a stupid guy,

00:16:04it's a stupid thing.

00:16:05Anxiety didn't procure

00:16:06the food,

00:16:06the actions taken

00:16:07to get the food did.

00:16:09The username

00:16:10is surface level.

00:16:11Surface level

00:16:12is beautiful,

00:16:13man.

00:16:14Anxiety didn't produce

00:16:15the food,

00:16:16the actions taken

00:16:16to get the food did.

00:16:18Which is like,

00:16:19it's intelligent

00:16:20as saying,

00:16:21it is not the caution

00:16:23of the zebra

00:16:25that got it away

00:16:26from the lion,

00:16:27it was the zebra's legs.

00:16:32Yes,

00:16:33and what motivates

00:16:33the zebra to run

00:16:34is fear.

00:16:35Caution,

00:16:36concern,

00:16:37worry.

00:16:37It's like,

00:16:38have you never tried

00:16:38to feed a squirrel

00:16:39in the wild

00:16:39and it wants the food

00:16:40but it's nervous

00:16:41you're going to grab

00:16:41its neck?

00:16:42Oh,

00:16:43tentative going for,

00:16:44right?

00:16:45Anxiety didn't produce

00:16:46the food,

00:16:47the actions taken

00:16:47to get the food did.

00:16:51It wasn't sexual desire

00:16:53that produced a baby,

00:16:54it was just

00:16:55the physical orgasm.

00:16:56It's like,

00:16:56yeah,

00:16:57but,

00:16:57why are they procuring

00:16:59the food?

00:17:00Because they're worried

00:17:00about the winter.

00:17:02Oh,

00:17:02my God.

00:17:05Somebody says,

00:17:07anxiety isn't the same

00:17:08as legitimate worry.

00:17:09Oh,

00:17:09yes,

00:17:09the hair splitting.

00:17:11Anxiety is different

00:17:12from worry.

00:17:13Who cares?

00:17:15Who cares?

00:17:16I don't care.

00:17:17I could care less

00:17:19that if you say,

00:17:20well,

00:17:20you know,

00:17:21it's different.

00:17:23Anxiety is different

00:17:23from worry

00:17:24and you come up

00:17:25with some sort

00:17:25of hair splitting.

00:17:26Well,

00:17:26anxiety is more long-term

00:17:28and worry is more short-term.

00:17:30It doesn't matter.

00:17:31This hair splitting

00:17:32based upon incrementally

00:17:34tiny differences

00:17:35in definitions

00:17:35is just,

00:17:37it's nitpicky shit.

00:17:39Nitty,

00:17:39picky,

00:17:39nitty,

00:17:40picky,

00:17:41shitty stuff.

00:17:42Because

00:17:43our good friend,

00:17:45pipe-smoking,

00:17:47bead-wearing,

00:17:48alcoholic,

00:17:49chain-smoking,

00:17:49womanizing friend,

00:17:50Alan Watts,

00:17:51says no amount

00:17:52of anxiety.

00:17:53Now,

00:17:53if he just said,

00:17:54well,

00:17:54you know,

00:17:55you don't want

00:17:55to be too anxious,

00:17:56I mean,

00:17:56it would be stupid,

00:17:58but at least

00:17:58it wouldn't be wrong.

00:17:59Things can be stupid

00:18:00and wrong.

00:18:00Too much of anything

00:18:03is bad.

00:18:04Well,

00:18:05that's not true,

00:18:05of course.

00:18:07Too much of health

00:18:08is not bad,

00:18:08is it?

00:18:11But an excess

00:18:12of things

00:18:13in which an excess

00:18:14of things

00:18:15is negative

00:18:15is negative.

00:18:16Ah,

00:18:17big brain stuff,

00:18:17right?

00:18:18It's just a tautology,

00:18:19right?

00:18:20Says anxiety

00:18:21isn't the same thing

00:18:21as legitimate worry.

00:18:23Ah,

00:18:23so you put the word

00:18:24legitimate.

00:18:24He says no amount

00:18:25of anxiety,

00:18:25no amount of worry,

00:18:26no amount

00:18:26of anxiety.

00:18:28If there is an action

00:18:29required,

00:18:30then it's a valid concern.

00:18:32If it's general unease

00:18:33or fear about something

00:18:34beyond your control,

00:18:35it's anxiety.

00:18:35The former is needed,

00:18:36the latter is a waste

00:18:37of energy.

00:18:41How on earth

00:18:42are you going to know

00:18:43if your anxiety

00:18:44only exists

00:18:46about things

00:18:47you can't control?

00:18:48Are you saying

00:18:48that your brain

00:18:50is defective,

00:18:51that you have

00:18:51fine-tuned

00:18:52and developed

00:18:53these instincts

00:18:54of concern,

00:18:55worry,

00:18:55fear,

00:18:55anxiety,

00:18:57right?

00:18:57Concern that

00:18:57something negative

00:18:58is happening,

00:19:00that that's not

00:19:00obvious,

00:19:01right?

00:19:02I mean,

00:19:02if the lion

00:19:03is literally

00:19:03charging at the zebra

00:19:04and the zebra

00:19:05runs away,

00:19:05we don't say,

00:19:06wow,

00:19:06that zebra

00:19:07really has anxiety.

00:19:08It's like,

00:19:08no,

00:19:08it just doesn't

00:19:09want to get eaten.

00:19:10It really has caution.

00:19:11It's acting on its caution.

00:19:12No,

00:19:13it's not acting

00:19:13on its caution.

00:19:14It's acting on

00:19:14clear and present danger.

00:19:16So anxiety

00:19:17is for the stuff

00:19:17that's not obvious.

00:19:19A man running away

00:19:20from a bear

00:19:20in the woods

00:19:21isn't having

00:19:23an anxiety problem

00:19:24his full flight

00:19:24or flight

00:19:25because he's

00:19:25in imminent danger.

00:19:26Anxiety is for

00:19:27that stuff

00:19:27over the horizon.

00:19:28The stuff

00:19:29which you can

00:19:29act to change

00:19:30is not obvious

00:19:30yet.

00:19:32So when people

00:19:32say,

00:19:33well,

00:19:33you know,

00:19:33there's the things

00:19:34you can change

00:19:35and the things

00:19:35you can't change.

00:19:36How the living hell

00:19:38do you know

00:19:39what you can't change?

00:19:41That is around anxiety.

00:19:44So I'm anxious

00:19:45about the state

00:19:45of the world.

00:19:46How do you know

00:19:46you can't change

00:19:47the state of the world?

00:19:48Or the state

00:19:49at least of your world?

00:19:51Well,

00:19:51you know,

00:19:51I have anxiety

00:19:52around my mother

00:19:53because she's really abusive

00:19:54but I can't change

00:19:55my mother.

00:19:55It's true

00:19:56but you can change

00:19:57whether you see her

00:19:58or not.

00:19:59Well,

00:19:59that's off the table.

00:20:00Okay,

00:20:01well,

00:20:01your anxiety

00:20:01is telling you

00:20:02it's not off the table.

00:20:03I have anxiety

00:20:04about my health.

00:20:05Okay,

00:20:05are you doing everything

00:20:06that you reasonably can

00:20:07to maintain your health?

00:20:09Have you gone for your scans?

00:20:10Have you gone for your checkups?

00:20:11Do you do your blood work?

00:20:12Do you exercise?

00:20:12Do you eat well?

00:20:13Do you maintain a healthy weight?

00:20:14Do you get your sunlight?

00:20:16Do you do the things

00:20:17that are the most

00:20:19that you can do

00:20:20to maintain your health,

00:20:21right?

00:20:21So,

00:20:22I mean,

00:20:22as you guys know,

00:20:23like,

00:20:23I don't know,

00:20:2313 or whatever it was

00:20:24years ago,

00:20:25I had cancer,

00:20:26had chemo,

00:20:26had radiation

00:20:27and,

00:20:28of course,

00:20:29I have done as much

00:20:30as I can

00:20:30to maintain my health.

00:20:31So,

00:20:32I try,

00:20:32you know,

00:20:33I don't really worry

00:20:34because I'm doing

00:20:34the maximum that I can.

00:20:35So,

00:20:36saying,

00:20:36well,

00:20:36you know,

00:20:37you shouldn't be anxious

00:20:38about things you can't control.

00:20:39Like,

00:20:40how do you know

00:20:40you can't control things?

00:20:42How do you know?

00:20:43It's a slave morality

00:20:44to say there's all these

00:20:45things I can't control.

00:20:46Ah,

00:20:47I'm anxious about gravity.

00:20:48Well,

00:20:48then that's just

00:20:49mental illness,

00:20:49right?

00:20:50Ah.

00:20:52All right,

00:20:53so somebody says,

00:20:54Alan Watts is right.

00:20:55For example,

00:20:55consider natural disasters.

00:20:57Say a hurricane predicted

00:20:58to hit at 3 p.m. today,

00:20:59July 24,

00:21:002025.

00:21:01Anxiety about the storm's

00:21:02impact won't change its path,

00:21:03but preparation,

00:21:04evacuating or securing property

00:21:06can mitigate harm.

00:21:08Watts' statement

00:21:08implies that

00:21:09once action is taken,

00:21:11additional anxiety

00:21:12is redundant.

00:21:14Why?

00:21:15Well,

00:21:15first of all,

00:21:16I don't really like it at all

00:21:19when people just hallucinate,

00:21:21right?

00:21:22I mean,

00:21:23when people hallucinate,

00:21:24that's weird to me.

00:21:25Alan Watts said,

00:21:26no amount of anxiety

00:21:27makes any difference

00:21:28to anything that's going to happen.

00:21:30And he's saying,

00:21:31well,

00:21:31some is good,

00:21:32but he's not saying,

00:21:33oh,

00:21:33no,

00:21:33he didn't say,

00:21:34he didn't say that at all.

00:21:36Implies.

00:21:37No,

00:21:37no,

00:21:37no.

00:21:38See,

00:21:38if you're just going to make up things,

00:21:40then I don't interrupt people

00:21:43arguing with themselves.

00:21:45I mean,

00:21:45what's the point?

00:21:46Right?

00:21:46So if you hallucinate

00:21:47that Alan Watts is saying something

00:21:49that he didn't say,

00:21:50I mean,

00:21:51then you're having a conversation

00:21:52with your imaginary friend,

00:21:53whereas I'm actually talking about

00:21:55what Alan Watts actually said.

00:21:57No amount

00:21:58of anxiety.

00:21:59worry is not a prerequisite for action.

00:22:05So?

00:22:06Just because you can act without worrying

00:22:08doesn't mean that worrying

00:22:09doesn't help you

00:22:10do the right thing.

00:22:12You are confusing worry

00:22:13and anxiety.

00:22:15Oh,

00:22:15fuck off.

00:22:16You know,

00:22:17Oh my gosh.

00:22:21Oh my gosh.

00:22:23Huh.

00:22:25Somebody said,

00:22:25Alan Watts walked calmly

00:22:26into death

00:22:27after a life of teaching peace.

00:22:29You scream into the void,

00:22:31hoping someone claps.

00:22:35Okay,

00:22:36Mr. Haiku Vitriol.

00:22:38You scream into the void,

00:22:40hoping someone claps.

00:22:44Oh,

00:22:45that's funny.

00:22:45He means on top of action.

00:22:48Anyway,

00:22:49it's,

00:22:50was that anxiety

00:22:51or action

00:22:52that brought in the harvest?

00:22:54Well,

00:22:55it is the anxiety

00:22:56that provokes the action

00:22:57that brings in the harvest.

00:22:59I mean,

00:23:00if you wake up at night

00:23:02because you think you hear

00:23:04the sound of glass

00:23:05breaking downstairs,

00:23:07you won't be able

00:23:09to get back to sleep.

00:23:10I once lived

00:23:11in a very new house

00:23:13and would wake up

00:23:14and sounded like

00:23:15an old pirate ship

00:23:17rolling around

00:23:17on the ocean

00:23:18and creaked and growing

00:23:18because it was settling,

00:23:19right?

00:23:19So,

00:23:20I'd have to wake up

00:23:21and I'd go

00:23:22and check the house.

00:23:23Once I checked the house,

00:23:24I'd be able

00:23:25to go back to sleep

00:23:25but I couldn't just lie there

00:23:26because that's ridiculous,

00:23:29right?

00:23:30I'm sure you've had things

00:23:31in your life,

00:23:32you worry about things,

00:23:33you get the facts

00:23:34and your worry goes away.

00:23:35Sure.

00:23:36Sure.

00:23:38You're out of your depth

00:23:39here, Steph.

00:23:40Don't be dense.

00:23:41If somebody says,

00:23:44he's right,

00:23:45you're the pretentious one,

00:23:47maybe try being grateful,

00:23:48relaxed,

00:23:48loving and inspiring

00:23:49all the white men,

00:23:51I don't know why white men

00:23:51is in there,

00:23:52to do the same.

00:23:53Then we'd see a massive change

00:23:54in our countries

00:23:55and in our media.

00:23:59You're great, Steph,

00:24:00but you are Alan Watts,

00:24:01he wins every time

00:24:02despite any private life,

00:24:03douchery,

00:24:04to err as human,

00:24:05to forgive,

00:24:05divine.

00:24:07And it's,

00:24:07you know,

00:24:07this is a funny thing too,

00:24:08is that all of the Alan Watts fans

00:24:11are either hallucinating,

00:24:14misinterpreting,

00:24:15or attacking.

00:24:16It's like,

00:24:16where's your chill, man?

00:24:17Where's your chill?

00:24:19Where's your chill?

00:24:21Ah,

00:24:21I think you're missing

00:24:22the mark here,

00:24:23says Jazini.

00:24:26Needlessly worrying

00:24:26is different.

00:24:28They're conscientiously

00:24:28planning and preparing

00:24:29for the future.

00:24:31Plus,

00:24:31I like Alan Watts

00:24:32and you're being mean.

00:24:32Well,

00:24:32at least that's obvious,

00:24:34that's honest,

00:24:35right?

00:24:35Needlessly worrying,

00:24:36but that's,

00:24:37all you do

00:24:38is you take

00:24:39a negative word,

00:24:40you attach it to something,

00:24:42and you think

00:24:42you've made an argument.

00:24:44Drinking too much water

00:24:45is bad.

00:24:47Too much and bad

00:24:48are synonyms.

00:24:50You're just saying

00:24:50something that is bad

00:24:52is bad.

00:24:52You're not adding anything

00:24:53to anything.

00:24:56And this guy

00:24:56who's a past life,

00:24:58Tim,

00:25:00who's a past life's therapist,

00:25:02oh my God.

00:25:05He's a past life therapist.

00:25:08You pontificate

00:25:08about the importance

00:25:09of morals,

00:25:10yet it seems

00:25:11your mother

00:25:11hasn't even taught you

00:25:12not to insult people

00:25:13and be reverent

00:25:14towards the dead.

00:25:19Reverent towards the dead?

00:25:20You know who's dead?

00:25:21Hitler.

00:25:22Stalin.

00:25:22Should we have reverence

00:25:24for them as well?

00:25:26Oh my gosh.

00:25:27That's wild

00:25:28what people do, man.

00:25:29They don't even think

00:25:30about what they're doing.

00:25:31Harry writes,

00:25:31he's dead.

00:25:32He won't read

00:25:33your rage post.

00:25:34You're literally yelling

00:25:34into the void

00:25:35like a senile old man.

00:25:37So apparently

00:25:38I'm both yelling

00:25:39into the void

00:25:39and he's replying to me.

00:25:41So yelling into the void

00:25:42would have no effect

00:25:43like if you yell

00:25:43in deep space, right?

00:25:45However,

00:25:45the fact that,

00:25:46you know,

00:25:46Harry,

00:25:47the fact that you're

00:25:47replying to me

00:25:48means I'm,

00:25:49you know,

00:25:49by definition

00:25:49not yelling into the void.

00:25:52Oh my gosh.

00:25:54Michael says,

00:25:55your ancestors

00:25:55didn't worry about food.

00:25:57They prepared for winter.

00:25:58And why did they

00:25:59prepare for winter?

00:26:00Because they were worried

00:26:01they didn't have enough food.

00:26:03Oh my gosh.

00:26:05It's wild.

00:26:06Anxiety is about the past.

00:26:08Worry is about the future.

00:26:09Up is about the down.

00:26:11Sideways is about the white.

00:26:12Yeah,

00:26:12I could assemble words

00:26:14that sound like they

00:26:14are saying something too.

00:26:17Anyway,

00:26:18I just,

00:26:19I just think it's funny.

00:26:20I just think it's funny.

00:26:22You inherited worry

00:26:23or anxiety

00:26:24because your ancestors

00:26:25used it to survive.

00:26:27You know,

00:26:27why do we have it?

00:26:29Why do we have it?

00:26:30Why do we have it

00:26:31if it serves

00:26:32no survival purpose,

00:26:33right?

00:26:34You can't take,

00:26:35you know,

00:26:36the high conscientiousness

00:26:37of high trust societies

00:26:38which evolved

00:26:39over,

00:26:40you know,

00:26:41hundreds of thousands

00:26:42of years.

00:26:42You can't just take that

00:26:44rationally and say,

00:26:45well,

00:26:46something that is common

00:26:47to almost all the ice people.

00:26:49I mean,

00:26:49think about the social anxiety

00:26:50of,

00:26:51say,

00:26:51the Japanese,

00:26:52right?

00:26:52The anxiety of the Japanese,

00:26:53the status anxiety

00:26:54of the Japanese,

00:26:55the karoshi,

00:26:55or death by overwork.

00:26:56You can't go home

00:26:57before your boss

00:26:59comes home,

00:27:00goes home,

00:27:00I think of,

00:27:01say,

00:27:01the Chinese.

00:27:02I mean,

00:27:02there are Japanese men

00:27:04who literally get surgery

00:27:06so that they don't blush,

00:27:07so that they don't show

00:27:08when they're troubled

00:27:09or uncomfortable

00:27:10or shy.

00:27:11And if you look at that

00:27:12level of anxiety

00:27:13and worry,

00:27:14well,

00:27:15that is associated

00:27:17with coming out

00:27:17of the very harsh

00:27:18winters of Siberia.

00:27:20I mean,

00:27:23sort of think of

00:27:23the sort of famous

00:27:24Italian laid-back

00:27:25or the Greek laid-back chill

00:27:27versus the British

00:27:28stress and tension

00:27:31and all of that.

00:27:31It's like,

00:27:32well,

00:27:33it's more weather.

00:27:34Weather is nicer

00:27:34in the Mediterranean.

00:27:36In the Mediterranean.

00:27:37Oh, my gosh.

00:27:39Jamie says,

00:27:40any worry did nothing

00:27:41to get through the winter.

00:27:42It's the action

00:27:42of growing the food

00:27:43and storing it

00:27:44that did that,

00:27:44but worrying about it

00:27:46only impedes the task.

00:27:47Nope.

00:27:48Worrying about it

00:27:48is why the task exists.

00:27:50So,

00:27:51if you worry

00:27:52about whether you have

00:27:54enough money

00:27:55to retire on,

00:27:56right?

00:27:56This is what Kevin Samuels

00:27:57used to talk about

00:27:58with women

00:27:58that didn't want

00:27:59to get married.

00:28:00He'd ask,

00:28:00well,

00:28:00how much are you making?

00:28:01Oh,

00:28:0150K,

00:28:0170K,

00:28:02or whatever,

00:28:03a year.

00:28:03He'd say,

00:28:03how are you going

00:28:04to get the $2.4 million

00:28:05cash you need

00:28:06to survive

00:28:07from 65 to 85?

00:28:08How are you going

00:28:08to get that?

00:28:10Right?

00:28:10I mean,

00:28:11Kevin Samuels

00:28:12was absolutely brilliant.

00:28:15Almost always worth

00:28:16a listen,

00:28:16by the way.

00:28:17Kevin Samuels,

00:28:18the late Kevin Samuels.

00:28:19I think he died

00:28:20of hypertension.

00:28:22Maybe not quite

00:28:23so many energy drinks

00:28:25might be the ideal,

00:28:26but if you have

00:28:29some concern

00:28:29or worry

00:28:30or anxiety

00:28:31about whether

00:28:32you've saved up

00:28:33enough for retirement,

00:28:34that's going

00:28:35to impel you

00:28:37to save up money

00:28:38for your retirement.

00:28:39it doesn't matter.

00:28:41If you're perfectly

00:28:41comfortable,

00:28:42oh,

00:28:42I'm fine,

00:28:42I never think about it,

00:28:43I don't worry

00:28:44about my retirement,

00:28:45you're not going

00:28:45to save any money

00:28:46for your retirement.

00:28:48Why is this hard?

00:28:50I don't know why.

00:28:51Honestly,

00:28:51I don't want to sound

00:28:52all kinds of precious,

00:28:54but how is this hard

00:28:55to understand?

00:28:57I don't know.

00:28:57Anyway,

00:28:58so,

00:29:00surprise guest,

00:29:01Jared.

00:29:03Hit me.

00:29:03Brother,

00:29:04what's on your mind?

00:29:05Yes,

00:29:05go ahead.

00:29:06Excellent.

00:29:06Hey,

00:29:07just listening to that

00:29:08thought come to mind.

00:29:08First of all,

00:29:09thank you for everything

00:29:10you do.

00:29:10Love you.

00:29:10Great.

00:29:11And when I actually

00:29:13learned to handle

00:29:15my anxiety

00:29:15in a really great way,

00:29:17like listening to it,

00:29:18it actually freed me up

00:29:20to be a lot more chill

00:29:21in the future.

00:29:22So,

00:29:23if something came to me

00:29:24and bothered me

00:29:25and took away my sleep

00:29:27or something like that,

00:29:28then I knew to take it

00:29:29seriously and address it,

00:29:31and it actually opened up

00:29:32to be way more relaxed

00:29:33in the future

00:29:34and as things come up.

00:29:36You know,

00:29:37I can worry about it

00:29:38to some degree

00:29:39and then I can think,

00:29:41okay,

00:29:41well,

00:29:41if it's really a big problem,

00:29:43you know,

00:29:44it'll come back and bug me.

00:29:45I trust my anxiety

00:29:47to do that.

00:29:48Does that make sense?

00:29:49It does.

00:29:50I don't want to,

00:29:51obviously,

00:29:51for you to reveal anything

00:29:52you don't want to reveal,

00:29:53but can you think of a

00:29:54specific instance

00:29:55where that showed up for you?

00:29:57Gosh,

00:29:57nothing specifically

00:29:58comes to mind.

00:30:00Okay,

00:30:00the one thought

00:30:01that comes to mind,

00:30:01I'm not sure

00:30:02if it's actually

00:30:03on page with this,

00:30:05was,

00:30:06I was kind of lying

00:30:07in bed one day

00:30:08and I,

00:30:08like,

00:30:09this was years and years ago,

00:30:10didn't really have a job

00:30:10I liked,

00:30:11and I'm like,

00:30:13this was after listening

00:30:14to one of your shows,

00:30:15but he said,

00:30:15like,

00:30:15you really don't have,

00:30:16you don't have to do anything,

00:30:18but,

00:30:19you know,

00:30:19you can't,

00:30:20of course,

00:30:20you can't avoid

00:30:20the consequences

00:30:21of what you do

00:30:22or don't do.

00:30:23And so I'm lying in bed,

00:30:24man,

00:30:24I don't want to go to work,

00:30:25I really don't want

00:30:26to go to work

00:30:26and just kind of

00:30:28relax with that

00:30:28and,

00:30:29like,

00:30:29I don't have to get

00:30:30out of bed.

00:30:31And,

00:30:31you know,

00:30:31those part of me

00:30:32is just kind of

00:30:32calmly interacts,

00:30:33like,

00:30:34sure,

00:30:34that's absolutely true,

00:30:35but then this will happen

00:30:36and then this will happen

00:30:38and then this will happen.

00:30:40And so,

00:30:41yeah,

00:30:41I happily,

00:30:42actually,

00:30:43at that point,

00:30:43and,

00:30:44like,

00:30:44yeah,

00:30:44that's absolutely true.

00:30:45Instead of,

00:30:45like,

00:30:45getting up out of bed

00:30:46begrudgingly,

00:30:47like,

00:30:47oh,

00:30:47I've got to go to work

00:30:49and this,

00:30:49like,

00:30:49no,

00:30:49there's all these other

00:30:50things in the future

00:30:51for me by getting up

00:30:53and going to work

00:30:54right now.

00:30:55Right,

00:30:55yeah,

00:30:55that makes sense.

00:30:56And so,

00:30:58I guess my concern

00:30:59is that if you listen

00:31:00to people like Alan Watts,

00:31:01he says,

00:31:01well,

00:31:02the thing you've got to do

00:31:03is talk yourself out

00:31:04of being anxious

00:31:04and just recognize

00:31:05anxiety is useless,

00:31:06anxiety is pointless,

00:31:07anxiety won't change anything,

00:31:08worry won't change anything.

00:31:10But,

00:31:11you know,

00:31:11there are times

00:31:12when we have

00:31:12legitimate cause or reason

00:31:13to be concerned

00:31:14or to worry

00:31:15or to be anxious.

00:31:16And so,

00:31:17my concern is that

00:31:18to take a sort of

00:31:19silly example,

00:31:20which actually is

00:31:20kind of practical,

00:31:22is,

00:31:23if you're in the woods

00:31:25and you think

00:31:26you hear something

00:31:27stalking you,

00:31:28do you sit there

00:31:28and say,

00:31:29well,

00:31:29I'm going to go

00:31:29into a zen meditative

00:31:30position and I'm going

00:31:31to calm my anxiety

00:31:32and I'm going to make sure

00:31:33that I don't worry

00:31:34about anything

00:31:34and then you get

00:31:35your head ripped off

00:31:36by a bear.

00:31:37Or,

00:31:38if you're in the ocean

00:31:38and you see a fin

00:31:39and you don't know

00:31:41if it's a dolphin

00:31:41or a shark,

00:31:42you probably want

00:31:43to figure that out

00:31:44and you're going to sit there,

00:31:44oh,

00:31:45well,

00:31:45my concern or worry

00:31:46that it's a shark

00:31:47not a dolphin,

00:31:48I've just got to

00:31:49meditate in the water

00:31:50and calm my,

00:31:51it's like,

00:31:51no,

00:31:52get out of the water.

00:31:53Sorry,

00:31:53go ahead.

00:31:54No,

00:31:55I absolutely agree.

00:31:56Right on board with that.

00:31:58Sorry,

00:31:58I don't have a whole lot

00:31:59more to add,

00:31:59but like,

00:32:00I just,

00:32:00that was the thought

00:32:01that comes to mind,

00:32:01like all these people

00:32:02that are kind of

00:32:02downplaying the idea

00:32:04of anxiety

00:32:05or nitpicking

00:32:05or,

00:32:06you know,

00:32:06change the definition

00:32:07and all that stuff.

00:32:09No,

00:32:09I mean,

00:32:09the,

00:32:10if you,

00:32:12go ahead,

00:32:13if you,

00:32:13if you value chill,

00:32:15like I just,

00:32:16my own personal experience,

00:32:17I've never known

00:32:18more peace

00:32:18and more chill

00:32:19than actually having

00:32:20a relationship

00:32:21with my anxiety.

00:32:23Right,

00:32:23right.

00:32:23It's,

00:32:24it's there to help you.

00:32:25It's there to help you.

00:32:26And all,

00:32:27all parts of you

00:32:27are there to help you.

00:32:29And you got to listen

00:32:30to all the parts of you

00:32:32to live a sort of balanced

00:32:34and productive

00:32:34and happy life.

00:32:37And there are people,

00:32:38of course,

00:32:38who are overwhelmed

00:32:39by anxiety

00:32:40and I really sympathize

00:32:41with that.

00:32:41I mean,

00:32:42I really sympathize

00:32:43with that

00:32:43and I'm not trying

00:32:44to say

00:32:44that every single

00:32:46experience of anxiety

00:32:47is exactly the same

00:32:48as being chased

00:32:49by a bear.

00:32:49I mean,

00:32:50I get all of that.

00:32:51Is there an excess

00:32:52of anxiety?

00:32:53It's hard to know

00:32:54because we have

00:32:55so much more power

00:32:56than we think

00:32:57to change our circumstances

00:32:58that anxiety

00:33:01is telling us

00:33:02we can change.

00:33:02I mean,

00:33:03the example

00:33:04that I gave

00:33:04was in my early 30s.

00:33:06I suffered from insomnia

00:33:07and it turned out

00:33:08that I had to change

00:33:10everything in my life.

00:33:11I had to change

00:33:12everything.

00:33:12I had to change

00:33:13my career.

00:33:13I had to change

00:33:14my social circle.

00:33:15I had to change

00:33:16my entire relationship

00:33:17with my family of origin

00:33:18and I had to

00:33:20just do everything

00:33:21and I went to

00:33:22a year and a half

00:33:23of therapy

00:33:24for like three hours

00:33:25a week.

00:33:25I did eight hours

00:33:26a week of journaling.

00:33:27I just had to change

00:33:28everything

00:33:28and of course,

00:33:30you know,

00:33:30if I'd have said,

00:33:31well,

00:33:31you know,

00:33:31any concern

00:33:31or whatever it was

00:33:33is negative,

00:33:34I should just take

00:33:34sleeping pills,

00:33:35like I wouldn't have

00:33:35made the changes

00:33:36that got me

00:33:37a great marriage

00:33:38and a great,

00:33:39you know,

00:33:40great relationship

00:33:40with my daughter

00:33:41and great friends

00:33:42and like I just

00:33:43wouldn't have made

00:33:43those changes

00:33:44if I'd have said,

00:33:45well,

00:33:45the only problem

00:33:45is I need to

00:33:46talk myself

00:33:47out of being stressed

00:33:48or anxious

00:33:48or whatever was going on

00:33:49that was,

00:33:51you know,

00:33:52I had,

00:33:54and the reason

00:33:54it took me so long

00:33:55to sort out

00:33:56was I didn't realize

00:33:57how much I had to change

00:33:58and if people had said,

00:34:00well,

00:34:00the way that you deal

00:34:01with your anxiety

00:34:01is you change

00:34:02absolutely everything

00:34:03about your life,

00:34:04right,

00:34:05your friendships,

00:34:06your career,

00:34:07your family relations,

00:34:08like they've all got to go.

00:34:10I'd have been like,

00:34:11well,

00:34:11that's not possible

00:34:11and it's like,

00:34:12well,

00:34:12no,

00:34:12it actually turned out

00:34:13to be possible

00:34:13and it turned out

00:34:14to be a great thing.

00:34:15So,

00:34:16I don't,

00:34:16I don't like,

00:34:18and of course,

00:34:19the rulers,

00:34:20right,

00:34:20I'm not saying

00:34:20Alan Watts is a ruler

00:34:21but the fact

00:34:22that he's got

00:34:22a non-critical

00:34:23Wikipedia page

00:34:24means that he's

00:34:24probably a douchebag.

00:34:26No,

00:34:26because,

00:34:26you know,

00:34:27if you really are

00:34:27doing things

00:34:28that fight evil,

00:34:29the evildoers

00:34:30will hijack

00:34:31forms of communication

00:34:32and spread lies

00:34:33about you.

00:34:33That's how you know,

00:34:34right?

00:34:35So,

00:34:35you know,

00:34:36do the rulers,

00:34:38like if you were

00:34:39the lion

00:34:40and you got to

00:34:41teach the babies

00:34:42zebras,

00:34:42wouldn't you teach

00:34:43them to not be

00:34:43worried about

00:34:44the smell of lion

00:34:45and waving in the grass

00:34:46and to just view

00:34:47all of their negative

00:34:48internal states

00:34:49as something

00:34:50to be talked out of?

00:34:51Of course you would

00:34:52because then it's

00:34:52a whole lot easier

00:34:53to prey on the zebras.

00:34:55So,

00:34:55I guess that's my

00:34:56concern about that

00:34:57as well.

00:34:58Yeah,

00:34:59I mean,

00:35:00it seems like

00:35:01deciding in general

00:35:01has taken

00:35:02plenty of that

00:35:03and there's

00:35:04plenty of fodder

00:35:04to distract ourselves

00:35:05from whatever

00:35:06is making us anxious.

00:35:08All right,

00:35:08thanks man,

00:35:09I appreciate it.

00:35:10Thank you very much,

00:35:10Seth.

00:35:10All right,

00:35:12second surprise

00:35:12guest,

00:35:13someone else I know,

00:35:14James of the Clan P.

00:35:17What's on your mind?

00:35:19Hey,

00:35:19so I had one of

00:35:20those things,

00:35:21a couple of thoughts

00:35:22actually.

00:35:22One of them was

00:35:23I was sleeping

00:35:26soundly one night

00:35:27and I heard a crash

00:35:28in my house

00:35:29and I get up

00:35:30and I'm looking around.

00:35:31Was it Bitcoin?

00:35:32Sorry.

00:35:32No,

00:35:33no,

00:35:34no,

00:35:35not an audible crash.

00:35:35No,

00:35:36I was hunting around

00:35:38my house.

00:35:38I couldn't find it.

00:35:39All the doors were locked.

00:35:40All the windows were shut.

00:35:40I'm like,

00:35:41oh my goodness,

00:35:41it took me forever

00:35:42to get back to sleep.

00:35:43Turns out I get up

00:35:43the next morning.

00:35:45It was just some drawer,

00:35:46you know,

00:35:46the plastic cheap crap

00:35:48rails had given away.

00:35:49When I saw that,

00:35:50I was so relieved

00:35:51and happy to see that.

00:35:52It's like,

00:35:52oh,

00:35:52that's what it was.

00:35:53But I,

00:35:54you know,

00:35:54so it's,

00:35:55you get that like,

00:35:56oh man,

00:35:57what's going on?

00:35:57And it's more on the

00:35:59clear and present danger

00:36:00kind of thing

00:36:01or possible danger

00:36:02anxiety thing.

00:36:03But yeah,

00:36:04that was a,

00:36:04that was,

00:36:05that was a fun night.

00:36:06Oh yeah.

00:36:07I mean,

00:36:07most people have had it.

00:36:08Like if you run

00:36:09in the business world,

00:36:10I remember back in the,

00:36:11in the day

00:36:12in the business world,

00:36:13I thought I had made

00:36:14a mistake

00:36:15and like a pretty serious

00:36:17and severe mistake.

00:36:18And I was like,

00:36:19I was like worried about it.

00:36:21And you know,

00:36:21then I,

00:36:22I called the accountant

00:36:23and he's like,

00:36:23no,

00:36:24that's,

00:36:24that's totally legit.

00:36:25That's totally fine.

00:36:25I'm like,

00:36:26oh,

00:36:26you know,

00:36:27it's like 30 years ago

00:36:28or whatever,

00:36:28right?

00:36:29So,

00:36:29you know,

00:36:30concerned about things.

00:36:31I remember when I first,

00:36:33when I produced

00:36:33and directed my first play

00:36:35in,

00:36:36in,

00:36:36in Toronto,

00:36:37I used a theater

00:36:39and the theater

00:36:40had just had the floor

00:36:41refinished

00:36:42at,

00:36:42at great expense.

00:36:43Like this beautiful wood

00:36:44and lacquer

00:36:45and all of that.

00:36:45And I brought,

00:36:47I brought literal trees in

00:36:48to,

00:36:49because I hate

00:36:50artificial stuff.

00:36:51And so we,

00:36:51we literally bought trees in

00:36:53and unfortunately

00:36:54the people who were moving

00:36:55the trees,

00:36:55they scratched the hell

00:36:57out of the floor.

00:36:58And I was like,

00:36:58oh my God,

00:36:59they're going to charge me

00:37:00for this floor.

00:37:00I'm not going to be able

00:37:01to go to university

00:37:02because I'm going to have

00:37:03to pay $10,000

00:37:04for this,

00:37:05this,

00:37:06to get this floor fixed

00:37:07or refinished

00:37:07or whatever.

00:37:07And I was like,

00:37:08terrified.

00:37:09And then I went in

00:37:10and the guy who was

00:37:11the manager of the theater

00:37:12looked at the floor

00:37:13and he's,

00:37:13and I said,

00:37:14yeah,

00:37:14sorry,

00:37:14some stuff got scratched.

00:37:15And he's like,

00:37:15yeah,

00:37:16theater's messy.

00:37:17And it's like,

00:37:18okay,

00:37:19good.

00:37:19I guess I can continue

00:37:20on with my life

00:37:21and not have to spend

00:37:22the next year

00:37:23paying off a theater floor.

00:37:25So yeah,

00:37:25just,

00:37:25just concerns.

00:37:26And then,

00:37:26and it wasn't like,

00:37:27I didn't keep worrying

00:37:28after the guy said,

00:37:29yeah,

00:37:29theater's messy.

00:37:30No problem.

00:37:31Like I didn't sit there

00:37:32and say,

00:37:33oh yes,

00:37:33but he could,

00:37:34you know,

00:37:34like he said,

00:37:34it was fine.

00:37:35So it's fine.

00:37:36So you move on.

00:37:37Right.

00:37:37And so all of these things

00:37:39like the,

00:37:40the warrior,

00:37:40the concern,

00:37:41I say,

00:37:41well,

00:37:41your fears were groundless.

00:37:42It's like,

00:37:43no,

00:37:43they weren't.

00:37:44The guy could have said,

00:37:45we just got the floors

00:37:46refinished.

00:37:47You literally bought trees

00:37:48in here that scratched

00:37:49the hell out of the floor.

00:37:50We're going to have to get

00:37:50it refinished.

00:37:51And we're going to go

00:37:52after you for the money.

00:37:53Right.

00:37:53And he could have done that.

00:37:55I mean,

00:37:56it's not,

00:37:56it's certainly not,

00:37:57that's not good.

00:37:58Now,

00:37:59of course,

00:37:59in hindsight,

00:38:00you say,

00:38:00well,

00:38:00I was worrying for nothing.

00:38:01It's like,

00:38:02no,

00:38:02you weren't.

00:38:03If you,

00:38:04if you're a zebra

00:38:04and you're cautious

00:38:05about the smell of lion

00:38:07and,

00:38:08and,

00:38:08and the grass moving

00:38:09in a certain,

00:38:10an uncertain way,

00:38:10and it turns out

00:38:11that there's nothing there,

00:38:12you don't sit there

00:38:13and say,

00:38:13well,

00:38:13that was pointless.

00:38:14It's like,

00:38:14no,

00:38:15that's what keeps you alive.

00:38:16It drives me crazy.

00:38:17All right.

00:38:20Anything else you wanted

00:38:20to mention?

00:38:21Yeah.

00:38:22I also have a thought.

00:38:23I mean,

00:38:23I know that,

00:38:24you know,

00:38:24anxiety is,

00:38:25you know,

00:38:25common to,

00:38:26you know,

00:38:26to everybody,

00:38:27but it also struck me

00:38:29how,

00:38:30and this is sort of like

00:38:31a half-based thought.

00:38:32I mean,

00:38:32it's interesting

00:38:32what you think about it,

00:38:33where women are typically

00:38:36on the,

00:38:37much more on the

00:38:37neurotic,

00:38:38neurotic personality

00:38:39scale things,

00:38:40side of things.

00:38:41And how this guy

00:38:43trying to say,

00:38:43this guy's going around

00:38:44saying,

00:38:45hey,

00:38:46anxiety is nothing.

00:38:47There's nothing to be

00:38:47anxious about in life,

00:38:49right?

00:38:50This Swats guy.

00:38:51And how that's going to be

00:38:53kind of a way of

00:38:53programming women

00:38:54to not be anxious

00:38:57in particular.

00:38:58Or is it,

00:38:59do you think it's like,

00:39:01I'm not saying like

00:39:01targeted exactly,

00:39:02but maybe used,

00:39:03or they sort of

00:39:04are attracted to that more?

00:39:05Or is it,

00:39:06what are you seeing

00:39:07in the responses?

00:39:09Yeah,

00:39:10that's a very good point.

00:39:11I would say that,

00:39:12I mean,

00:39:13Alan Watts had more flags

00:39:14than the Chinese

00:39:15Communist Parade,

00:39:15right?

00:39:16More red flags.

00:39:17And so I think,

00:39:19so women would have

00:39:20distinct caution

00:39:20about sleeping with him.

00:39:23And because,

00:39:24you know,

00:39:25I mean,

00:39:25I personally think he was

00:39:26just real cold-hearted,

00:39:28maybe a sociopath

00:39:28or something like that

00:39:29to be,

00:39:30to just plowing through

00:39:31women like that

00:39:32and to have these

00:39:33addictions and so on.

00:39:35So he would have

00:39:36all of these red flags

00:39:37and women would be

00:39:38cautious and anxious

00:39:39about sleeping with him,

00:39:41getting married to him,

00:39:42having his babies

00:39:42and so on.

00:39:43Because I think he had

00:39:43like five kids

00:39:44or something like that,

00:39:45scatting around

00:39:45a bunch of different

00:39:46women.

00:39:47And so if he's saying,

00:39:49oh no,

00:39:50your anxiety is just

00:39:51a hang-up,

00:39:52man.

00:39:53It's just some

00:39:54Western prejudice.

00:39:55You've got to go

00:39:55with the flow.

00:39:56There's no amount

00:39:56of anxiety that's

00:39:57going to change

00:39:58anything.

00:39:59Now take off your top.

00:40:00You know,

00:40:00I honestly think

00:40:01it's just a basic

00:40:02mating display.

00:40:03And of course,

00:40:03women have a lot

00:40:04more to be anxious

00:40:04about because women

00:40:05sacrifice a whole lot

00:40:07more when babies

00:40:09need to be made,

00:40:09right?

00:40:10For the man,

00:40:10it's like 20 minutes

00:40:11and a nap.

00:40:12And for the woman,

00:40:13it's like 20 years,

00:40:14right?

00:40:1420 minutes versus 20 years.

00:40:15So women have a lot

00:40:16more to be cautious

00:40:17about because their

00:40:18investment in child

00:40:19raising is almost

00:40:20infinitely higher

00:40:21than a man's.

00:40:23So they have a lot

00:40:23to be worried about.

00:40:24Men will lie to them

00:40:25to get into their

00:40:25pants.

00:40:26They need to have

00:40:26good instincts.

00:40:27They need to have

00:40:27good cautions.

00:40:28They need to have

00:40:28good alarm systems

00:40:30because men can be

00:40:31their greatest

00:40:31manufacturers or their

00:40:32greatest predators.

00:40:34And so women would

00:40:35naturally tend to be

00:40:37more anxious.

00:40:38Also, women have to

00:40:39take care of babies

00:40:40and toddlers,

00:40:41which is really

00:40:42challenging.

00:40:43I mean, I found it

00:40:44challenging enough

00:40:45with one kid.

00:40:45I mean, you know,

00:40:46there were often

00:40:47five, six, seven,

00:40:48eight kids roaming

00:40:48around and farm

00:40:50machinery and predators

00:40:51and wolves and you've

00:40:53got to worry.

00:40:54You've got to worry.

00:40:55You've got to be anxious.

00:40:55You've got to keep

00:40:56them safe.

00:40:56So that's a beautiful

00:40:57thing.

00:40:58That's a beautiful

00:40:58thing that women do.

00:41:00Of course, without a

00:41:01bunch of kids, it tends

00:41:02to kind of run off in

00:41:03the wrong direction or

00:41:04many wrong directions,

00:41:05that kind of anxiety.

00:41:06But also women generally

00:41:09can't affect as much

00:41:11as they want to

00:41:11themselves, right?

00:41:13So, you know, the sort

00:41:13of famous tendency of

00:41:14women to nag.

00:41:15Well, one of the things

00:41:17that happened is women

00:41:19who nagged got lazy

00:41:21husbands to get more

00:41:22food for the winter so

00:41:22their family had a

00:41:23greater chance of

00:41:24survival.

00:41:25In other words, women,

00:41:26men outsourced their

00:41:28anxiety to women.

00:41:30And women would provoke

00:41:32anxiety in men through

00:41:32nagging, which would get

00:41:33the men, you know, get

00:41:34off that couch, get to

00:41:35work.

00:41:35There's a sort of old

00:41:36myth, not true in my

00:41:37household, of course, but

00:41:38this sort of old myth

00:41:39that nothing bothers a

00:41:40wife more than the

00:41:41sight of a husband in

00:41:41full repose, you know,

00:41:42on a couch or something

00:41:43like that.

00:41:44Well, this, you know, the

00:41:45honey-do list, right?

00:41:46Honey, we've got a whole

00:41:47list of things that need

00:41:48to be done and go do it

00:41:50and stop being lazy.

00:41:50And right, so the fact

00:41:52that women often have to

00:41:54get men to do the things

00:41:55that are needed for the

00:41:56family's survival means

00:41:58that they have to have

00:41:58higher level of

00:41:59neuroticism and anxiety

00:42:00or, to say, an

00:42:02appropriate level for the

00:42:03things that need to be

00:42:04done.

00:42:04So, if men are too

00:42:07anxious, they become too

00:42:08feminine, but if men

00:42:08outsource some of their

00:42:09anxiety to women, then

00:42:11they get to retain the

00:42:12masculine strength,

00:42:13calmness thing while still

00:42:14having the anxiety

00:42:15inflicted on them through

00:42:16nagging to get things

00:42:17done that need to get

00:42:18done in order for the

00:42:19family to survive.

00:42:20So, it's a really

00:42:21interesting mix.

00:42:23And so, you know, you

00:42:25always hear these women,

00:42:26you know, and this is

00:42:27back to sort of the

00:42:28Kim de Tamiro show,

00:42:29right?

00:42:29The women are like, he

00:42:30would say, well, the

00:42:32average black man earns

00:42:33like $40,000 a year or

00:42:34whatever, and, you know,

00:42:35can you say to these

00:42:36women, can you marry a

00:42:39guy making $40,000 a

00:42:41year?

00:42:41And she'd say, well, I

00:42:43mean, I would unleash his

00:42:44potential and he'd be

00:42:45making $200,000 a year,

00:42:47right?

00:42:47So, basically, she'd nag

00:42:49him into doing more and

00:42:50more and more, working

00:42:51harder and harder and

00:42:52harder in order to get

00:42:53extra resources.

00:42:53So, the women can't

00:42:54affect it directly.

00:42:55Historically, they

00:42:56couldn't go out and

00:42:57hunt and move barns and

00:42:59things like that and

00:43:00fight wars, but they

00:43:01could nag men into doing

00:43:02it.

00:43:02And, of course, Kevin

00:43:03Samuels would say, no,

00:43:04no, the average is most

00:43:04people can't make more

00:43:05than that.

00:43:06You can't just talk a

00:43:06guy into making five

00:43:08times his salary.

00:43:10It's not possible for a

00:43:11lot of guys because

00:43:11they're average, right?

00:43:13So, yeah, I think the

00:43:15higher female neuroticism

00:43:17is, again, it's a

00:43:18beautiful thing and men

00:43:19and women are an

00:43:19incredible team for

00:43:20producing what they

00:43:21produce, which is the

00:43:22miracle of the human

00:43:22mind.

00:43:23But, yeah, certainly in

00:43:24a state of, I mean, it's

00:43:26sort of been my

00:43:26experience as a whole, and

00:43:27I want to hear you guys'

00:43:28thoughts on this as a

00:43:29whole, and James, of

00:43:30course, you'll be up

00:43:31first.

00:43:31It's my experience as a

00:43:32whole that you only get

00:43:34to choose your problems.

00:43:35You don't get to choose

00:43:36to not have problems.

00:43:37You only get to choose

00:43:38your problems.

00:43:38So, I would have a calmer

00:43:42life if I was not a

00:43:44controversial public

00:43:46philosopher, right?

00:43:48I would have a calmer

00:43:48life.

00:43:49However, my calm life

00:43:51would be a plus, but

00:43:54there'd also be a minus,

00:43:56and the minus would be

00:43:58that I would regret not

00:43:59putting my gifts to full

00:44:00use.

00:44:01I mean, I think I put my

00:44:03gifts to about as full

00:44:04of use as I can.

00:44:05I'm always trying to

00:44:05expand the ways that I

00:44:06communicate and the

00:44:07topics that I talk about,

00:44:08but I think I've done

00:44:10as much as I can with

00:44:11the gifts that I have,

00:44:12which is to say that I

00:44:13still hope to do more

00:44:14with the gifts that I

00:44:15have, but so I'd have a

00:44:16calmer life, which would

00:44:18remove, you know, some

00:44:19of the excitement that

00:44:21I've had over the years

00:44:23with being controversial.

00:44:25So, I would remove some

00:44:27of that negativity, some

00:44:28of that concern, some of

00:44:29that excitement, but then

00:44:30I would simply add

00:44:31regret and a feeling of

00:44:33underutilization and that

00:44:36negative.

00:44:36So, you only get to

00:44:37choose your problems in

00:44:40life.

00:44:41You don't get to choose

00:44:41to have no problems.

00:44:42So, when people like

00:44:43Alan Watts come along and

00:44:44say, you know, all

00:44:45anxiety is bad, it's like,

00:44:46no, because then without

00:44:48anxiety, you don't spy

00:44:50dangerous, you don't worry

00:44:52about your retirement, you

00:44:53don't worry about health

00:44:54issues, you don't worry

00:44:55about maybe underutilizing

00:44:58the gifts that you've been

00:44:58given, and then you end

00:45:00up with a life full of

00:45:01regret, usually when it's

00:45:02too late to fix it.

00:45:03So, for women, it's

00:45:06like, I worry I'm going

00:45:07to marry the wrong guy,

00:45:09okay, so then you marry

00:45:10the right guy, so then

00:45:12your marriage is good, and

00:45:13then you worry maybe about

00:45:14getting pregnant if you're

00:45:15a little older, but then

00:45:16your kid gets born and

00:45:16they're healthy, and then

00:45:17you worry about your

00:45:18kid, you know, falling

00:45:19down the stairs or

00:45:20getting sick or whatever

00:45:20and kids do, and then,

00:45:22you know, it's just

00:45:23worry, worry, worry, and

00:45:24then, you know, when

00:45:24you're young, you worry

00:45:25about money, when you're

00:45:26middle-aged, you worry

00:45:27about failure, when you're

00:45:28old, you worry about

00:45:29health.

00:45:30I mean, you can only

00:45:32choose your problems, you

00:45:34cannot choose a life

00:45:35without problems.

00:45:36Choosing a life without

00:45:37problems, you know, the

00:45:38sort of fantasy of, oh, I'll

00:45:39go live in the woods, and

00:45:40I'll just be self-sustaining,

00:45:41it's like, yeah, but that's

00:45:42going to kind of, it's kind

00:45:43of empty, and nobody will

00:45:44remember your name, and you

00:45:45have no legacy, and you have

00:45:46no love or comfort in your

00:45:47old age, so you just trade

00:45:49one set of problems for

00:45:50another, and this empty,

00:45:52alien, weird, inhuman quest

00:45:54to have a life without

00:45:55problems is bizarre to me,

00:45:57right?

00:45:58I mean, you know, that

00:45:59old New Yorker cartoon

00:46:01where two guys in a bar,

00:46:02one turns to the other

00:46:02and says, this is back

00:46:03when Sting was, like, top

00:46:04of the world, the singer

00:46:05for the police, and a

00:46:06solo artist, of course, and

00:46:08he'd say, how's your life

00:46:09going?

00:46:09I mean, it's not bad, but

00:46:12I'm not Sting, right,

00:46:13because he was good

00:46:14looking, and a great singer,

00:46:15songwriter, and performer,

00:46:16and all of that, and of

00:46:17course, Sting laughed

00:46:18about it, and said, man, I

00:46:19got my problems, too.

00:46:20I got my problems, like

00:46:21everyone else, right?

00:46:21I mean, his accountant

00:46:22stole millions of dollars

00:46:23from him, he now has, you

00:46:25know, bad hearing and

00:46:26tinnitus and all kinds of

00:46:28old age, which comes about

00:46:29as a result of his

00:46:30success when he was

00:46:31younger.

00:46:32So, I choose the most

00:46:36magnificent problems I

00:46:37can.

00:46:38I choose the highest

00:46:39stakes problems that I

00:46:41can.

00:46:42You know, it's the old

00:46:43workout thing, suffer

00:46:44now or suffer later.

00:46:45Working out makes you

00:46:46suffer now, not working

00:46:47out makes you suffer

00:46:48later.

00:46:49Quitting smoking makes you

00:46:50suffer now.

00:46:50If you don't quit smoking,

00:46:52you suffer later.

00:46:53Eating sensibly is going

00:46:54to cause you to eat less

00:46:55of what you want now, but

00:46:56then you don't suffer

00:46:58from obesity and bone

00:46:59and joint problems and

00:47:00all other kinds of heart

00:47:01issues and, you know,

00:47:03the sort of waist fat

00:47:05belly problem and all of

00:47:06that, right?

00:47:07So, I, given that I have

00:47:11to choose some problems

00:47:13from the buffet, there's

00:47:14no life where you don't

00:47:15get to choose any problems

00:47:16from the buffet of

00:47:17problems.

00:47:18So, I choose the highest

00:47:19stakes, most magnificent

00:47:20problems I can because that

00:47:24way I can achieve the most.

00:47:26But the people who want to

00:47:27hide from their problems

00:47:28and hiding from anxiety is

00:47:29the same as hiding from

00:47:30problems.

00:47:31They end up with the

00:47:32biggest problem of all,

00:47:33which is regret.

00:47:34And now that I'm, of

00:47:35course, pushing 60, I've

00:47:36seen enough of people's

00:47:37life art to know that

00:47:39regret is just about the

00:47:40worst thing of all.

00:47:41Regret just completely

00:47:41corrodes and eats away at

00:47:42you because it's a problem

00:47:43you can't solve anymore.

00:47:45Regret usually kicks in

00:47:46when it's too late to

00:47:47solve it, like the woman

00:47:47who's 45 and now wants

00:47:49kids.

00:47:50Well, it's too late.

00:47:52It's too late.

00:47:52Now you can't fix it.

00:47:53And so, if she'd had more

00:47:56anxiety about having kids,

00:47:57she wouldn't, like, you

00:47:58know, maybe that would

00:47:59have lasted a couple of

00:48:00years while she hunted

00:48:00down the right father for

00:48:02her children.

00:48:03But now, 45 to 85, she's

00:48:06got 40 years of regret.

00:48:08So, anxiety is there to

00:48:09prevent future regret,

00:48:12which is just about the

00:48:13worst feeling of all.

00:48:14And there is no life

00:48:16without problems.

00:48:17So, choose the biggest,

00:48:18most inspiring, most

00:48:19magnificent, most world

00:48:21changing problems that you

00:48:22can, and then you will

00:48:24never feel any particular

00:48:25regret.

00:48:26Does that make sense?

00:48:28Oh, yeah.

00:48:28That totally makes sense.

00:48:30And, you know, as far as

00:48:31my part, you know, I did

00:48:33choose more of the easy

00:48:34thing for a long time.

00:48:36And it's a struggle to

00:48:38break those habits,

00:48:39particularly being

00:48:40isolated, right?

00:48:42Or, you know, choosing to

00:48:42be isolated, right?

00:48:43Not trying to...

00:48:44Yeah.

00:48:44So, you don't have...

00:48:46You haven't had the

00:48:46problems of trying to

00:48:47merge with someone else

00:48:49who has different thoughts

00:48:49and ideas, and those

00:48:51are problems.

00:48:52You chose more of a

00:48:52solitary path, which

00:48:54relieved you of certain

00:48:54problems, but now it gives

00:48:55you other problems, right?

00:48:56So, the fantasy that I

00:48:58just do this and I really

00:48:59won't...

00:49:00I'll have fewer problems

00:49:01is like, no, you won't.

00:49:02The level of problems you

00:49:03have are about the same

00:49:05in life.

00:49:06And just choose the ones

00:49:09that are the most

00:49:10exciting, the most

00:49:10challenging, and that have

00:49:11the longest reward cycle.

00:49:14I think that's the way to

00:49:15go.

00:49:16Yep.

00:49:16And I'll just close

00:49:18it off with, I still

00:49:20think I have potential,

00:49:21for sure.

00:49:23And I'll continue to

00:49:24pursue that, because,

00:49:26I mean, I'll just say,

00:49:27you're very...

00:49:27I mean, you're very

00:49:29inspiring.

00:49:29It feels like almost

00:49:30not...

00:49:33It feels like I can't

00:49:34quite express it, but

00:49:35you're incredibly

00:49:35inspiring in, you know,

00:49:38the pursuit of the

00:49:40greatest you could do.

00:49:41Oh, yeah.

00:49:42I appreciate...

00:49:42Like, I really

00:49:43appreciate that, James.

00:49:44And for those of you

00:49:44who don't know, James

00:49:45and I work together.

00:49:46But I really do

00:49:48appreciate that.

00:49:48And listen, there are

00:49:49times where I really felt

00:49:50like I bit off way more

00:49:51than I could chew.

00:49:52You know, I was like,

00:49:54oh, these problems are

00:49:55too big.

00:49:55And it's like, that's

00:49:56going to happen.

00:49:57But again, you know,

00:49:59looking back, the two

00:50:01big problems are way

00:50:02better than the two

00:50:02small problems, because

00:50:03the two small problems

00:50:04just turn into the big

00:50:06problem of regret later

00:50:07on.

00:50:08Did you want to mention,

00:50:09because now we're on

00:50:11X, right?

00:50:12Did you want to mention

00:50:13your life goal and

00:50:14perhaps how to contact

00:50:15you?

00:50:16All right.

00:50:17Well, my life's goal

00:50:18would be to find a

00:50:20wonderful, loving

00:50:20partner, a woman,

00:50:23of course.

00:50:23I would love to get

00:50:24married.

00:50:25And I'm in my

00:50:27mid-40s, and I live

00:50:29in New England.

00:50:32And yeah, you can get

00:50:33a hold of me by

00:50:34contacting support

00:50:35at freedomain.com.

00:50:37And I'll get back to

00:50:39you post-haste.

00:50:41Yeah.

00:50:42James, 6'4", kept his

00:50:45hair, kept a shiny

00:50:46mane of youthful

00:50:47hair, hasn't even hit

00:50:48gray.

00:50:49The man is a

00:50:50magnificent beast

00:50:50specimen of virile

00:50:52masculinity.

00:50:53And so that's something

00:50:55to remember, ladies.

00:50:56He's got the goods, and

00:50:58he knows how to use

00:50:58them.

00:50:59So support at

00:51:00freedomain.com if you

00:51:01would like to chat with

00:51:02James.

00:51:03I think it would be

00:51:04highly recommended to

00:51:05give it a try.

00:51:06And I've known James

00:51:07for, like, how long

00:51:08have we known each

00:51:09other now?

00:51:102007, 8, something

00:51:11like that.

00:51:12So coming on 20

00:51:13years.

00:51:14Yeah, coming up.

00:51:14Coming up for 20

00:51:15years.

00:51:16Coming up for 20

00:51:16years.

00:51:17I knew him before I

00:51:19knew my daughter.

00:51:19So, all right.

00:51:20Thanks, James.

00:51:21I hope that we're

00:51:22going to get some

00:51:22messages.

00:51:23Support at

00:51:23freedomain.com.

00:51:24James also has some

00:51:25assets, is ready to

00:51:26start a family, owns

00:51:27his own property, has a

00:51:28nice house, and is a

00:51:31good guy to get to

00:51:32know, to put it

00:51:32mildly.

00:51:33All right.

00:51:34Take another

00:51:34caller or two.

00:51:35Thanks, man.

00:51:35Appreciate it.

00:51:37I'm sorry.

00:51:37I'm trying to read

00:51:39these names.

00:51:40I don't have my

00:51:40glasses on.

00:51:41Let me, because I

00:51:42don't want to call on

00:51:43people and get that

00:51:43in.

00:51:43It's completely

00:51:44wrong.

00:51:44So give me just a

00:51:45second.

00:51:46See, you get older,

00:51:48and I don't have any

00:51:49problems with dating,

00:51:50because I'm happily

00:51:51married, but I got

00:51:52eyesight.

00:51:54Nova tricks.

00:51:55Am I getting

00:51:55everything or anything

00:51:57wrong?

00:51:58Set me straight or

00:51:58share your thoughts.

00:52:00Hello.

00:52:01Yeah, go for it.

00:52:02Okay.

00:52:03Oh, my God.

00:52:04It's such a different

00:52:05experience to be a

00:52:06bystander and to be

00:52:08actually in the hot

00:52:10seat.

00:52:10So I'm a little bit

00:52:11embarrassed, but I have

00:52:13a lot to say.

00:52:14I just want to get that

00:52:15straight.

00:52:15And I really admire and

00:52:16respect you, because,

00:52:17well, you know why,

00:52:18obviously, you're a

00:52:19mainstay figure.

00:52:21So I hope I don't

00:52:21squander my opportunity.

00:52:23And I guess that

00:52:24we were talking about

00:52:25anxiety, and you're

00:52:25talking about the

00:52:26anxiety you might

00:52:27squander things so you

00:52:27don't regret.

00:52:28Yeah, that's great.

00:52:29It's like form and

00:52:29function together at last.

00:52:31Go ahead.

00:52:31And that, it

00:52:32leads, okay, my

00:52:34main question is, if

00:52:35you feel a threat or

00:52:37a pressure, right, if

00:52:39you feel a pressure

00:52:40because you're

00:52:41just comfortable in

00:52:42your seating posture,

00:52:43you can rearrange it.

00:52:44That's a very obvious

00:52:45problem and solution,

00:52:47right?

00:52:48What of the threats

00:52:50or anxiety you can

00:52:51feel on more societal

00:52:55level issues or group

00:52:57issues that aren't

00:52:58very obvious what

00:53:00the individual should

00:53:01do to handle them,

00:53:02like economic or

00:53:04demographic social

00:53:05issues, because I

00:53:07don't know.

00:53:08I'll just self-dox.

00:53:10I'm in one of the

00:53:13big cities there.

00:53:15And all those issues

00:53:17constantly keep me up

00:53:18at night, you know?

00:53:20I just, the other

00:53:21day I saw the news

00:53:22story from April or

00:53:24so when two teens went

00:53:26missing and then two

00:53:27months later or so

00:53:29were found, but they

00:53:30went missing for

00:53:31some, and the police

00:53:32didn't decide to

00:53:33release any details.

00:53:34And I'm just

00:53:34wondering, huh, how

00:53:36prevalent is that?

00:53:38And what can I do

00:53:38about that?

00:53:39Because it doesn't

00:53:39seem right for me to

00:53:40sit in, like, comfort

00:53:43of any sort.

00:53:44Well, that's a bet,

00:53:45you know?

00:53:46But what?

00:53:47Yeah, I mean,

00:53:47there's no, I mean,

00:53:48Canada, of course, as

00:53:49you know, is going

00:53:49through this massive

00:53:50immigration experiment,

00:53:52right?

00:53:52It's not alone in that.

00:53:54And are there reasons

00:53:55to be concerned?

00:53:56Yeah, I mean, I

00:53:57think that there are

00:53:57some reasons to be

00:53:58concerned.

00:53:59Now, as far as what

00:54:00you can do about it,

00:54:01well, I mean, nothing

00:54:03directly, obviously,

00:54:04right?

00:54:05But what you can do

00:54:06is, you know, share,

00:54:07you know, be honest,

00:54:08right?

00:54:08Share your thoughts and

00:54:09feelings and concerns

00:54:10with others, right?

00:54:13And if people are

00:54:16willing to listen, then

00:54:18you have good people

00:54:19around you, because we

00:54:20should always not bear

00:54:22false witness.

00:54:22We should be honest

00:54:24about our thoughts and

00:54:25fears and concerns.

00:54:26Now, recognize, of

00:54:27course, you can't do

00:54:28anything to affect it

00:54:28directly, but you can

00:54:29share your thoughts and

00:54:30fears and concerns and

00:54:31ideas.

00:54:31And listen, maybe some

00:54:32of your thoughts and

00:54:33fears and concerns are

00:54:34something that you could

00:54:35be talked out of,

00:54:36maybe.

00:54:37Maybe you can help

00:54:38other people have some

00:54:41thoughts and fears and

00:54:41concerns that might be

00:54:42valid.

00:54:43And I think just being

00:54:44honest, I think, is the

00:54:46key.

00:54:46And, you know, honesty

00:54:47is a difficult thing

00:54:48these days.

00:54:49Honesty is a very

00:54:50difficult thing, because

00:54:51people have been

00:54:52programmed to be so

00:54:53hair-triggered on

00:54:53certain stimuli that it

00:54:54can be risky.

00:54:57I choose to not have

00:54:58people in my life that

00:54:59I can't be honest with.

00:55:01And that is a brutal

00:55:03process, right?

00:55:04Because we don't

00:55:05choose our families.

00:55:06We don't, and in many

00:55:07ways, we don't

00:55:08particularly choose our

00:55:09early friends, because,

00:55:10you know, we're all just

00:55:11kind of locked up in

00:55:11school together, and

00:55:12that's where most

00:55:13friendships come from,

00:55:13or we're just kind of

00:55:14in the same neighborhood,

00:55:16which is where those

00:55:16friendships often come

00:55:17from.

00:55:18We have some choice, but

00:55:19it's not the kind of

00:55:20limitless choice that we

00:55:21have in the age of

00:55:22sort of internet and

00:55:23social media and so

00:55:23on.

00:55:24So, I think that it's

00:55:27probably worth it in the

00:55:28long run, or at least I

00:55:29can say it certainly has

00:55:30been the case for me in

00:55:31the long run.

00:55:32I share my thoughts,

00:55:33fears, concerns, you

00:55:34know, pluses and

00:55:35minuses.

00:55:35I unpack my heart.

00:55:37I'm honest with those

00:55:37around me.

00:55:39And the people who have

00:55:40remained in my life are

00:55:42the people who appreciate

00:55:43that and want that, and I

00:55:46appreciate it and want

00:55:47it in them.

00:55:47I don't have taboo topics

00:55:49with the people I love

00:55:52and care about.

00:55:53We don't sling insults at

00:55:55each other for speaking

00:55:56our minds.

00:55:57And I think that, to me,

00:55:59has been the biggest

00:56:00decision, is to just stop

00:56:01bearing false witness, to

00:56:02stop lying, to stop

00:56:03misrepresenting, to stop

00:56:05pretending that my values

00:56:06are only abstract and don't

00:56:07need to be lived in my

00:56:09social environment.

00:56:11And I think just that

00:56:12bare, brazen, and bold

00:56:15honesty is the way to go.

00:56:18That's the most freedom

00:56:19we can get.

00:56:19Like, there's censorship

00:56:20at the state level.

00:56:22There's censorship, of

00:56:23course, at the social

00:56:24media deplatforming level.

00:56:26I've heard about it.

00:56:28But I, yeah, and those

00:56:30you only have very little

00:56:31control over.

00:56:32I mean, unless you just

00:56:33want to lie and

00:56:33misrepresent things and so

00:56:34on, right?

00:56:35But the censorship that

00:56:37you have the most control

00:56:38over is the censorship

00:56:39that is manifested in your

00:56:42social circle, right?

00:56:43Are there people where you

00:56:45say, oh, I have concerns

00:56:46about this, that, or the

00:56:47other, and they just

00:56:48turn away, they call you

00:56:50names, whatever it is,

00:56:51right?

00:56:51Well, that's the censorship

00:56:52you can do something

00:56:53about.

00:56:54And I sort of dedicated

00:56:55myself many years ago,

00:56:57decades ago, to really

00:56:58trying to live as real as

00:57:00life as humanly possible.

00:57:02So, you know, I, I guess,

00:57:04alienated the vast swaths of

00:57:06the atheist community by

00:57:08challenging them on their

00:57:09lack of knowledge about why

00:57:11they're good.

00:57:12And so, you know, my, of

00:57:15course, my views went down

00:57:16and people rage quit and

00:57:17they stopped following me

00:57:18and so on.

00:57:18It's like, but I, I'm not

00:57:20going to be a number

00:57:21chaser.

00:57:22I'm just not going to be a

00:57:23number chaser.

00:57:24I'm going to speak the

00:57:24truth, make the case as

00:57:27passionately and as

00:57:28powerfully as I can, and

00:57:29accept correction where it

00:57:31is necessary, of course.

00:57:32And I make the case as

00:57:33powerfully as I can.

00:57:35I mean, now, sorry, I

00:57:36annoyed the incels.

00:57:37You know, this is just

00:57:38like in a month and

00:57:39change, right?

00:57:40I annoyed the women, I

00:57:41annoyed the incels, I

00:57:42annoyed the atheists.

00:57:43Now, I'm annoying the

00:57:44mystics by calling Alan

00:57:46Watts a pretentious

00:57:46douchebag because he is.

00:57:48And I make the case for

00:57:49it more solidly here, which

00:57:51of course is a bit of a

00:57:51different form.

00:57:52So, I'm just going to keep

00:57:53telling the truth and, and

00:57:54say why.

00:57:55And I'm not going to sit

00:57:57there and say, oh, well,

00:57:58you know, but my, my

00:57:59numbers are going to go

00:58:00down and, and people aren't

00:58:01going to like me and my

00:58:02show is going to become

00:58:02less popular.

00:58:03Like, I, that's not, that's

00:58:05not the gig.

00:58:05That's not the job.

00:58:06The job is to tell the

00:58:06truth.

00:58:07I mean, if you're a

00:58:08doctor, you have to tell

00:58:09the truth when a patient

00:58:09is sick.

00:58:10You don't lie to spare

00:58:11their feelings or so that

00:58:13they won't get upset with

00:58:14you.

00:58:14You know, if, if you're

00:58:15treating a married guy and

00:58:17he got an STD from some

00:58:19hooker he went to, he's

00:58:21going to be upset with

00:58:22you when you tell him he's

00:58:23got an STD or he's going

00:58:24to be upset.

00:58:24Maybe he'll take it out

00:58:25on you, but you still have

00:58:26to tell him he has the

00:58:27STD because that's the

00:58:27job is not to, the job is

00:58:30not to coddle people's

00:58:31feelings as a doctor.

00:58:32The job is to try and

00:58:35return people to a state of

00:58:36health or hopefully keep

00:58:37them healthy or

00:58:38whatever, right?

00:58:39So, yeah, my job is to

00:58:41tell the truth and I

00:58:42won't be censored by

00:58:43people who insult me.

00:58:45I won't be censored by

00:58:46people who scream at me.

00:58:46I won't be censored by

00:58:47people who rage quit.

00:58:48I won't be censored by

00:58:49people who cancel their

00:58:51subscriptions and

00:58:51donations because of

00:58:52something I said.

00:58:53I just won't do it.

00:58:55I just won't do it.

00:58:55I'd rather live under a

00:58:56bridge than to submit to

00:58:58that kind of slave on

00:58:59slave tyranny.

00:59:00So, just be as honest as

00:59:01you can with the

00:59:04thoughts that you have

00:59:04and through sharing your

00:59:06thoughts honestly and

00:59:07openly, you might build

00:59:08a very surprising

00:59:10coalition of people who

00:59:12might be very, very

00:59:13interested in what you

00:59:14have to say.

00:59:15All right.

00:59:15Thanks, man.

00:59:16I appreciate that.

00:59:16We've got a bunch of

00:59:17people who want to

00:59:17talk to me.

00:59:18Yeah, go ahead.

00:59:19Sorry.

00:59:20Oh, okay.

00:59:20Can I say, what if you

00:59:22overshare or undershare

00:59:23though?

00:59:25That's a question I have

00:59:26too.

00:59:27Because if you share the

00:59:28right amount, you'll get

00:59:29the right results.

00:59:30If you share too much,

00:59:30no one will want to

00:59:31associate with you because

00:59:32I don't think anyone's

00:59:33keen on perceiving the

00:59:36entirety of someone

00:59:37else's thoughts or

00:59:38intentions.

00:59:39But like, if I share to

00:59:41my friends and family,

00:59:42hey, we should probably

00:59:43travel together because

00:59:44evil is afoot in our

00:59:45city.

00:59:46They're probably going to

00:59:47say, ah, shut up, you

00:59:48goonies.

00:59:49Right.

00:59:50Okay.

00:59:51So, if you share your

00:59:52sort of thoughts and

00:59:53concerns and people tell

00:59:54you to shut up, you have

00:59:55choices, right?

00:59:57I'm not sure of what

00:59:58those choices are, I guess,

00:59:59besides just like secluding

01:00:01myself and minding my

01:00:02own affairs in a

01:00:03solitary way.

01:00:05Well, but that is saying

01:00:06that the only possibility

01:00:08in human relationships is

01:00:11lying and falsifying

01:00:13everything you think and

01:00:14believe or being

01:00:15completely alone.

01:00:17That's what they call a

01:00:19false dichotomy, right?

01:00:20Which is, it's entirely

01:00:21possible to have honest

01:00:23and connected and open

01:00:25relationships.

01:00:27Some people will dislike

01:00:29you if you tell them the

01:00:31truth about what you

01:00:31think and feel, which

01:00:33means they just dislike

01:00:33you, and the only thing

01:00:34they liked was your

01:00:35silence, your lying, and

01:00:36your conformity, which

01:00:37means they didn't like

01:00:38you at all.

01:00:39They just like the power

01:00:40they have over you to

01:00:41silence you and shut you

01:00:41up.

01:00:42So, I choose to have real

01:00:43relationships with real

01:00:45people talking about what

01:00:46we really think and feel.

01:00:48And listen, I mean, I

01:00:49talked about this, I've

01:00:50got a whole book about

01:00:50this called On Truth,

01:00:51The Tyranny of Illusion,

01:00:53which is you leave the

01:00:54city of lies and there's a

01:00:56big-ass desert before you

01:00:58get to the village of the

01:00:59truth-tellers, where you

01:01:00can actually connect with

01:01:01people.

01:01:01Like, you wake up one day

01:01:02and you're in a zombie

01:01:03city, right?

01:01:04And you've got to get out

01:01:05of the city.

01:01:06The zombies are the

01:01:07NPCs, right?

01:01:08Who eat brains, right?

01:01:09They destroy identity.

01:01:10And you've got to make

01:01:11your way across the

01:01:12desert.

01:01:13Because the village of

01:01:15truth-tellers has to be

01:01:16far enough away from the

01:01:17city that they can't get

01:01:18there by bus to really

01:01:19stretch the analogy,

01:01:20right?

01:01:21And so, there's a

01:01:23desert.

01:01:23And now, of course, one of

01:01:25the reasons people stay in

01:01:26the city of the zombies is

01:01:28because they think that

01:01:30the desert goes on and on

01:01:31forever and they're just

01:01:33going to die out there in

01:01:35the bleached bones of all

01:01:37the old creatures.

01:01:38And so, they stay and

01:01:40pretend to be a zombie and

01:01:41rub themselves with zombie

01:01:42goo and chant and drone

01:01:44and zone out and

01:01:46dissociate and repeat

01:01:47nauseous propaganda ad

01:01:49nauseam because they say,

01:01:51well, there's nothing

01:01:51outside the city except the

01:01:54desert where you die.

01:01:57But there are things

01:01:58outside the city other

01:02:00than the desert where you

01:02:01die.

01:02:01The desert is there to

01:02:02protect the truth-tellers

01:02:04from the zombie city, from

01:02:06the zombies in the city

01:02:07because the zombies can't

01:02:08make it across.

01:02:08The zombies are range of

01:02:10the moment thinkers.

01:02:12I'm thinking there's a lot

01:02:13of mirages known in

01:02:14deserts, though.

01:02:15If you're hydrated and

01:02:17exhausted and depraved in

01:02:19the desert, you know, and

01:02:21of low supplies as people in

01:02:22my generation are, I'll

01:02:24tell you, I'm a Zoomer,

01:02:25right?

01:02:25A mid-age Zoomer?

01:02:28Yeah.

01:02:29So, I don't know.

01:02:31Yeah, so you've got low

01:02:31wages, you've got housing

01:02:33issues, you've got heavily

01:02:34propagandized females.

01:02:35Relationship issues, yeah,

01:02:37yeah.

01:02:37Yeah, for sure.

01:02:38I don't know how to deal

01:02:39with all the ladder

01:02:40pulling.

01:02:41It's a worry of mine that I

01:02:42feel like I have legs,

01:02:44right?

01:02:44I could sprint to a door if

01:02:47only it would stay open

01:02:48long enough not to get

01:02:49smashed in my face, right?

01:02:51So, yeah.

01:02:52I'm sorry, and I used

01:02:55analogies, so, but I'm

01:02:56familiar with my own

01:02:57analogies.

01:02:58So, what is the door for

01:02:59you?

01:03:00A door is opportunity,

01:03:01right?

01:03:01So, imagine there's a

01:03:02shop, for example, let's

01:03:04say, I'm personally

01:03:05unemployed, right?

01:03:06So, I rush to the sign of

01:03:07we're hiring, and then I

01:03:08apply, and then nothing.

01:03:11Then don't even tell me

01:03:12why they won't hire me.

01:03:14It's just ghost town,

01:03:16you know?

01:03:16So, how many doors do you

01:03:17rush to before, as you

01:03:19said with a zebra, it just

01:03:20burns itself out with all

01:03:21its calories, you know?

01:03:23Well, or you have to try

01:03:24something else.

01:03:25Yeah, and if you can't, if

01:03:27you can't get a job, you

01:03:28have to make a job.

01:03:30So, I mean, you have, you

01:03:31have friends your own age.

01:03:33Have you all sat together

01:03:34and brainstormed about ways

01:03:35that you could start a

01:03:36business or make a job or

01:03:37leverage AI or, sorry, go

01:03:39ahead.

01:03:39I did speak with them about a

01:03:41fun, at least, hobby of

01:03:43learning to brew beer or

01:03:45wine, because that's legal

01:03:46in this country.

01:03:47Unfortunately, apparently not

01:03:48whiskey or vodka, but at

01:03:50least a beer or wine, that

01:03:51would be fun to learn.

01:03:53I didn't think about it in

01:03:55terms of making a

01:03:55business.

01:03:56I don't know.

01:03:58Well, I mean, that's

01:03:59something that if what you're

01:04:01doing isn't working, obviously

01:04:02at some point, you have to do

01:04:04something different, right?

01:04:05And if you've been looking

01:04:06for work for a long time and

01:04:10you can't find work, and

01:04:11again, finding work for

01:04:12young people in Canada, I

01:04:14mean, there's a lot of

01:04:15people who will, you know,

01:04:17new to the country, who will

01:04:18take jobs that used to go to

01:04:19young people, teenagers.

01:04:20Don't I know it?

01:04:21Don't I know it?

01:04:21Yeah, for sure.

01:04:22And, you know, I mean, I

01:04:24wish that there was a more

01:04:25rational conversation to be

01:04:26had publicly about that, but

01:04:27we are where we are.

01:04:29And so, if just trying to

01:04:31get a job is not working,

01:04:34then you either need to

01:04:36move to places further

01:04:39north where it's more

01:04:41likely that you'll be able

01:04:42to get a job.

01:04:43You need to think about

01:04:45what you can do maybe

01:04:46overseas, you know, the old

01:04:48teach English in China or

01:04:50South Korea.

01:04:51You need to start thinking

01:04:53about a job or a business

01:04:55that you could create or a

01:04:56hobby that you could try and

01:04:57find some way to monetize.

01:04:59So, you know, just be very

01:05:00wary of the old solutions

01:05:03don't work anymore,

01:05:04particularly for young

01:05:05people in Canada.

01:05:06There has to be a sadly

01:05:08and, you know, maybe it's

01:05:09bad, maybe it's good.

01:05:10It's hard to say in the

01:05:11long run.

01:05:12But, like, I know a guy

01:05:14who couldn't get work and

01:05:17ended up going to China to

01:05:19teach English and then ended

01:05:21up starting a huge business

01:05:22that is very successful out

01:05:24there.

01:05:24So, who knows, right?

01:05:25But, you know, just

01:05:26trotting down to the Tims and

01:05:28the 7-Eleven handing in your

01:05:30resume ain't working.

01:05:31So, you're going to have to

01:05:31really start thinking outside

01:05:32the box and then you might

01:05:33look back and say, that was

01:05:35the greatest thing ever.

01:05:36Okay.

01:05:37Well, thanks, Stefan.

01:05:38Sorry for taking up so much

01:05:39of your time.

01:05:39I hope I posited something

01:05:41worthwhile.

01:05:42You certainly did.

01:05:43Don't apologize for sharing

01:05:44your thoughts and feelings.

01:05:45That's what we're here for,

01:05:47right?

01:05:47So, you are welcome back

01:05:48anytime and I hope you'll

01:05:50keep me updated on how

01:05:52things are going.

01:05:53All right.

01:05:54We'll go with Mark instead.

01:05:56On your mark, get set.

01:05:59How's it going, Stefan?

01:06:00Good.

01:06:01How are you doing?

01:06:01Yeah, pretty good, man.

01:06:02I just want to say thanks for,

01:06:04you know, speaking your mind.

01:06:06My wife and I met eight years

01:06:07ago and during the early

01:06:09formation of our relationship,

01:06:10we sat down and we listened

01:06:12to a lot of your podcasts,

01:06:13kind of like circa 2018.

01:06:15Wow.

01:06:15It was really formative in our

01:06:17early dating time to kind of,

01:06:19you know, come to terms with

01:06:21our morality and kind of

01:06:22formulate this idea and this

01:06:24vision of the future.

01:06:25And through you, we were able

01:06:26to do that.

01:06:26You know, a lot of you touched

01:06:27on a lot of really sensitive

01:06:28subjects that we could kind

01:06:30of talk about.

01:06:31So, you know, fast forward

01:06:33seven years and we got three

01:06:35kids and we're happily married.

01:06:37So, yeah, you do good stuff,

01:06:39man.

01:06:40I really, really appreciate

01:06:41that.

01:06:41And please say hi to your kids,

01:06:43Stefan one, Stefan two, and

01:06:45Stephanie.

01:06:45I appreciate that.

01:06:47Obviously, I know what they're

01:06:48called.

01:06:49And that's wonderful.

01:06:50How did you find me to begin

01:06:52with?

01:06:53Just through YouTube, word of

01:06:54mouth.

01:06:55Like we were kind of watching

01:06:56a lot of Jordan Peterson and,

01:06:57you know, a lot of the

01:06:58philosophical, I guess,

01:07:00styled content.

01:07:02Yeah, it was really good, man.

01:07:04I don't really know what else

01:07:05to say besides I grew up in

01:07:06Brampton.

01:07:07So I grew up right around the

01:07:08corner from you.

01:07:09I understand a lot of the

01:07:10perspectives you harbor.

01:07:12Well, I appreciate that.

01:07:13And congratulations on a

01:07:16happy marriage and wonderful

01:07:17fatherhood.

01:07:18I envy the three kids.

01:07:19That's something I certainly

01:07:20aim for more than one.

01:07:21But fate took us in another

01:07:22direction.

01:07:23And it's wonderful to hear

01:07:24these kinds of stories and

01:07:25give them a big hug for me.

01:07:26And if you haven't checked out

01:07:28Peaceful Parenting, I'm sure

01:07:29you have just for people as a

01:07:30whole, peacefulparenting.com.

01:07:32That's the place to go for

01:07:34learning how to bring

01:07:35philosophy to childhood.

01:07:37So thanks, man.

01:07:38I appreciate it.

01:07:39And all the best.

01:07:41All right, Thomas, I think you

01:07:42could be the last caller today

01:07:43because the old Steph

01:07:45wants getting a little peckish.

01:07:46You know, I haven't eaten

01:07:47today.

01:07:47It's 1230.

01:07:48I sort of forgot to eat this

01:07:49morning.

01:07:50Yes, go ahead.

01:07:51Maybe on your show?

01:07:53My pleasure.

01:07:53I wanted to ask you because

01:07:55I've been always struggling

01:07:56with the opposite problem.

01:07:57So I think I have too little

01:07:59anxiety.

01:08:00I figured this out because

01:08:01on university, on high

01:08:04school, I compared myself to

01:08:06other students, my classmates,

01:08:09and they always worried much

01:08:11more than I did.

01:08:12And especially the women, of

01:08:13course.

01:08:14And well, the first question

01:08:15would be if that's one of the

01:08:18reasons that women do better

01:08:20in academic situations.

01:08:23And the other one is

01:08:24what to do about it,

01:08:26what how to become more

01:08:27anxious or at least a little

01:08:29bit.

01:08:30Right, right.

01:08:30What's your cultural or

01:08:32ethnic background?

01:08:33I'm Chilean.

01:08:34I'm from South America.

01:08:36Sorry for accent.

01:08:38No, no.

01:08:38Listen, I massively

01:08:40admire anyone who speaks

01:08:42a second language.

01:08:43I know like 17 computer

01:08:44languages.

01:08:44I can't learn other languages

01:08:46to save my life.

01:08:47So your intellectual prowess

01:08:49in English, I don't care

01:08:50about the accent.

01:08:51Honestly, I think it's just

01:08:52magnificent.

01:08:53But that's the thing I was

01:08:54talking about earlier.

01:08:55So you come from a warm

01:08:57climate, right?

01:08:58Sorry, someone interrupted

01:09:00me.

01:09:00What did you say?

01:09:00You come from a warm

01:09:01climate, right?

01:09:03Yes, sort of.

01:09:04Mediterranean-like.

01:09:06Right.

01:09:06So you don't have winter and

01:09:08so you don't have as much

01:09:09anxiety in your brain

01:09:11makeup, right?

01:09:12Right.

01:09:13But if I compare myself

01:09:14to a lot of people around

01:09:15here, I still feel like I

01:09:16have less anxiety than

01:09:18the rest.

01:09:19Okay, so give me an

01:09:21example, if you don't

01:09:22mind, give me an example

01:09:23of where a lack of

01:09:25anxiety caused problems.

01:09:27So I've been in

01:09:29university for more

01:09:30than 10 years because

01:09:32I studied engineering

01:09:33at first, but I

01:09:36wasn't much of

01:09:38I didn't want to

01:09:41not that I didn't

01:09:42want to, but I

01:09:43didn't do

01:09:44homework or I

01:09:45did it the last

01:09:46time because I

01:09:46didn't feel anxious

01:09:47about it.

01:09:48I thought that I

01:09:49could always manage

01:09:50it somehow, but I

01:09:52didn't struggle with

01:09:53that.

01:09:54And then I started

01:09:55noticing that at

01:09:56first I thought this

01:09:57was a gift, but

01:09:58because everyone

01:09:59said, oh, you're

01:09:59never anxious about

01:10:00anything.

01:10:01So I thought it was

01:10:02a gift, but then I

01:10:02started noticing that I

01:10:04was lagging behind

01:10:05everyone else.

01:10:06And I think it is

01:10:07because of my lack

01:10:09of anxiety.

01:10:10So, I mean,

01:10:11engineering is four

01:10:12years and then

01:10:12whatever, right?

01:10:13So 10 years, what

01:10:14you've been doing?

01:10:1510 years, yeah.

01:10:16So I started

01:10:17engineering for five

01:10:19or six years, for

01:10:20five and a half.

01:10:21Here, engineering is

01:10:22almost six years.

01:10:24Then I changed to

01:10:25nutrition.

01:10:26I am a nutritionist

01:10:28now.

01:10:29And then I went to

01:10:30Germany to study a

01:10:31master's there.

01:10:33I just came back

01:10:34home and I'm

01:10:35finishing it, I

01:10:36guess.

01:10:37That's my story.

01:10:37I appreciate that.

01:10:38And how old are

01:10:39you?

01:10:40I am 31 now.

01:10:41And what's your

01:10:42dating life like?

01:10:44I have a daughter

01:10:46and a new father

01:10:47and I'm expecting a

01:10:50new one, actually.

01:10:51And my partner is

01:10:53pregnant.

01:10:54Sorry, are you

01:10:55married?

01:10:56Not yet.

01:10:57Why aren't you

01:10:58married?

01:10:58That's fine.

01:11:00I guess I want to be

01:11:01financially stable.

01:11:02That's it.

01:11:05Well, what do you

01:11:06mean you want to be

01:11:06financially stable?

01:11:07You have kids.

01:11:09What are you talking

01:11:10about?

01:11:11Yeah, life happens,

01:11:13I guess, but I'm

01:11:14straining my life.

01:11:15No, no, no.

01:11:16See, there's where

01:11:17your anxiety is, man.

01:11:19Right there.

01:11:20Two words.

01:11:20Did you hear them?

01:11:21Okay.

01:11:22There's where your

01:11:22lack of anxiety is.

01:11:23Two words.

01:11:24Did you hear them?

01:11:26Life happens.

01:11:27Life happens.

01:11:28Bullshit, brother.

01:11:29Life doesn't happen.

01:11:31Life happens to

01:11:32plants.

01:11:33Life happens to

01:11:34grass and trees.

01:11:34life happens to

01:11:36worms and you

01:11:38are none of those

01:11:39things.

01:11:39You are the

01:11:40diametrical opposite

01:11:41which is a human

01:11:42being with an

01:11:43incredible brain,

01:11:44the greatest gift

01:11:44in the universe

01:11:45to will, choose,

01:11:46decide, and act.

01:11:48Life does not

01:11:48happen.

01:11:49You make it

01:11:50happen.

01:11:51You make choices.

01:11:51That's true.

01:11:52That's true.

01:11:53If you start making

01:11:54choices rather than

01:11:57letting life just

01:11:58happen, then you're

01:11:59going to get more

01:12:00anxious.

01:12:01Because see, when

01:12:01life happens, you

01:12:03can just say, well,

01:12:04it is what it is,

01:12:04right?

01:12:05And you don't feel

01:12:06any particular

01:12:06anxiety.

01:12:07But the moment you

01:12:08start making actual

01:12:09choices and willing

01:12:11them, then you can be

01:12:12right or wrong.

01:12:13If life just happens

01:12:13to you, you're kind

01:12:15of never right and

01:12:15never wrong.

01:12:16You just get this

01:12:17slow sense of

01:12:17emptiness and regret

01:12:18as life goes

01:12:19forward.

01:12:19But if you will

01:12:20stuff, you could

01:12:21be wrong.

01:12:23And the concern of

01:12:24being wrong is where

01:12:27the anxiety comes

01:12:28from.

01:12:29Anxiety is, I could

01:12:30be wrong.

01:12:30I think I have

01:12:31enough food for the

01:12:31winter.

01:12:31I could be wrong.

01:12:33I'm sure that, as

01:12:34James was saying, I'm

01:12:35sure that crash

01:12:35downstairs was just a

01:12:37drawer settling.

01:12:38But I could be wrong.

01:12:39There could be an

01:12:39intruder who's going to

01:12:41garrot me in my

01:12:41sleep, right?

01:12:42So anxiety is the

01:12:44fear that you can't

01:12:44be wrong.

01:12:45But if you just let

01:12:45life happen to you,

01:12:46you can't really be

01:12:47wrong.

01:12:48Does that make

01:12:48sense?

01:12:50I'm sorry, man.

01:12:51I had a connection

01:12:51issue.

01:12:52Could you repeat the

01:12:53last thing you said?

01:12:54Okay.

01:12:55Tell me the last

01:12:56major decision that

01:12:57you willed in your

01:12:58life.

01:13:00I'm sorry.

01:13:00This is embarrassing.

01:13:01Just once more,

01:13:03please.

01:13:04Okay.

01:13:04We'll give it one

01:13:04more try.

01:13:05What was the last

01:13:06major decision you

01:13:07strongly willed in

01:13:08your life?

01:13:10Hi.

01:13:11I can't hear you

01:13:13because...

01:13:14Okay.

01:13:14I'm sorry.

01:13:15That's a real shame

01:13:15and no prejudice to

01:13:16the guy.

01:13:17We can't control

01:13:18necessarily.

01:13:19What kind of

01:13:22internet connection

01:13:22we have.

01:13:23In general,

01:13:24I would prefer,

01:13:24this is a mild

01:13:25preference,

01:13:26I would prefer if

01:13:27you had a headset

01:13:28and a good internet

01:13:29connection when you

01:13:30call in.

01:13:30It just makes it

01:13:31easier.

01:13:31It makes it the

01:13:32conversation flow

01:13:33and it also sounds

01:13:34better.

01:13:35Like I'm telling you,

01:13:35these conversations

01:13:36would be listened to

01:13:37a thousand years from

01:13:38now.

01:13:38I'm not kidding you

01:13:39about that.

01:13:39I know enough about

01:13:40the history of

01:13:41philosophy to know

01:13:42when things are

01:13:42going to last.

01:13:43That I know.

01:13:44So,

01:13:46a $20 headset,

01:13:47at least don't be

01:13:48on speakerphone,

01:13:49maybe even just

01:13:50some earbuds or

01:13:51something like that.

01:13:52A decent connection,

01:13:54don't call me in a

01:13:55loud place on a

01:13:56speakerphone when you've

01:13:57got one bar on your

01:13:58phone.

01:13:58Just in general,

01:13:59wait until it's a

01:14:01good thing,

01:14:01have some decent

01:14:02quality audio and a

01:14:03good internet

01:14:04connection and that

01:14:05way the conversation,

01:14:06which will be listened

01:14:07to a thousand years

01:14:08from now,

01:14:08sounds a whole lot

01:14:09better.

01:14:09And they're not

01:14:10going to have to

01:14:10use some freaky AI

01:14:11restoring your voice

01:14:12thing,

01:14:13which is going to

01:14:14not sound like you

01:14:15exactly.

01:14:15So,

01:14:16I really appreciate

01:14:16that,

01:14:17everyone.

01:14:17Thank you for a

01:14:18great chat today.

01:14:19And freedomain.com

01:14:20slash donate to help

01:14:21out the show.

01:14:22Really,

01:14:22really,

01:14:22really would

01:14:23appreciate that.

01:14:24Freedomain.com

01:14:24slash donate.

01:14:26And I will see you

01:14:27tomorrow night for a

01:14:29live stream,

01:14:307 p.m.

01:14:30Eastern Standard

01:14:30Time.

01:14:31Lots of love.

01:14:32Thanks to everyone

01:14:33for your conversation

01:14:34and your communication.

01:14:36The lovers,

01:14:36the haters,

01:14:36and all the

01:14:37in-betweeners,

01:14:37I love you all.

01:14:38Thanks,

01:14:38everyone.

01:14:38Bye.

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