- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Attaboy, Leo! Let's see some Hustletroid!
00:05Go, Leo! Go, Leo! Go, Leo! Go, Leo! Woo! Yeah!
00:10I'm Dora Miller, the ice hockey team's assistant that no one cares about.
00:15I love this job, mostly because it keeps me close to Leo.
00:19I crushed since childhood.
00:30Wait, did Leo really stop to help me?
00:37Ouch!
00:41I always believed that one day Leo would see me more than an assistant.
00:53You just got pucked, Dora.
00:54But back then, I had no idea how dangerous dreams could be, and how badly people could get hurt.
01:06It all started when I got an early birthday present from my parents.
01:18Happy birthday to my dearest daughter. We love you so much.
01:22I totally forgot I was only one month away from turning 18.
01:34Get with Leo. Lose my big card.
01:43You followed Leo to college for nothing.
01:47Idiot!
01:48I'm gonna die a virgin.
01:48If you want it, you're gonna have to make it happen.
01:56Dora Miller,
01:58just tell Leo how you feel.
02:01Stop being such a pussy and go for it!
02:03Dora.
02:18Dora.
02:22Can it wait?
02:24I'm just, I'm a little busy.
02:27Leo, I have been in love with you for years.
02:28I think we would make a great team.
02:32I've been saving myself for you,
02:34and I want you to be the one to take my virginity next month before my 18th birthday.
02:38Okay.
02:47Oh my god!
02:47What did she just say?
02:49She's a virgin.
02:50L-M-A-O.
02:50Oh, sweet.
02:57A pleading little virgin.
02:59Oh, don't let me stop you, Dora.
03:05What else do you have to say to Leo?
03:06Dora.
03:11Butie.
03:12Hey.
03:14I didn't realize you were on the toilet.
03:16It's funny.
03:18Something in the toilet made me think of you,
03:20and then I heard your needy voice.
03:23I can't believe you're still a virgin.
03:27Wait.
03:28I totally can.
03:30But I do love what you've done with your hair.
03:35Oh.
03:39I don't have a mustache.
03:43I'll just, I'll leave you guys.
03:46Go.
03:47And this, uh,
03:49it's interesting.
03:56Women have a choice for,
03:58they can be appealing,
04:00or they can be you.
04:03I like this cardigan.
04:07So would my great-great-great-grandmother.
04:13Leo's hot.
04:15You're not.
04:17Leo's rich, poor.
04:19We're in, you're out.
04:21Repeat that to yourself
04:22when you go and cry into your greasy pillow.
04:26Mindy.
04:27Know your place, nerd.
04:28in the library,
04:31wicking your nose with the other mouthfeels.
04:40Now, you could just, uh,
04:42finish up with some tears for my followers.
04:44Yes.
04:44What the hell?
05:03I'm not expecting money from anyone,
05:05especially this much.
05:06What the hell?
05:06I'm not expecting money from anyone,
05:07especially this much.
05:10did your towel just fall?
05:33Why?
05:33I just need to pee.
05:35oh come on it's not that bad i just told leo that i was in love with him but mindy was there
05:44so now the whole school's gonna know that i'm a virgin are you in there trying to slip on some
05:50guy in the shower come on i know you're in there virgin i can smell library dust and eyeglass
05:57cleaner oh troy no virgins here but you already knew that right goodbye ex-boyfriend
06:27thank you oh not so fast or the ignorer i saved you now you won't big time
06:40no way guys like you only want one thing such as help passing math
06:51listen i've got a really weird tech situation and i know you're good with that kind of
06:58stuff but it's got to be kept real secret if you got a virus from a porn site that's your
07:02own problem no no some stranger's putting money into my account and i'm worried they're setting
07:07me up to make it look like i'm throwing games match fixing that also sounds super dodgy i'm
07:15not touching it wait well what if we did a deal
07:21you help me and i help you get leo just boom swinging for fifth base in no time
07:28it's a sexual reference for you once that's sex with leo
07:35it's not just sex i love leo i've been waiting for him
07:44so do we have a deal okay but i need to clear something up fifth base i thought it was fourth
07:52you got some work to do you think i'm a joke it's called teasing door do you want leo or not
08:03okay so you can teach me how to flirt and you know do things
08:11you want me to teach you how to kiss the laugh
08:16just want to know what leo will expect
08:30i'm not super familiar with this stuff
08:34all right maybe we should tackle it in order list it for me flirting fashion technique
08:45okay so you spent some time thinking about this
08:49all right flirting skills first and then boom fifth base
08:53sounds good just uh don't forget about fashion
08:57and we need a deadline how about the fundraising dance for the hockey team
09:01you can make a big move there it's only two weeks away
09:04calm down you're not that hopeless we can meet up tomorrow morning to discuss
09:09what happens okay sounds good my whole life is gonna change go team
09:17oh turkey gotcha
09:21dora just the person i wanted to see oh shit
09:33i wanted to say that i'm sorry about yesterday
09:37you did yeah i was just feeling really insecure because
09:43i really like leo but i shouldn't have reacted that way
09:50yeah okay thanks did you hear about the cake party that's happening tonight
09:57you should totally come all of us lost our b cards at cake parties didn't we girls
10:04what the hell dora do you even live here
10:10what the hell dora do you even live here it's so freaking neat
10:16i like things organized
10:20what are you doing
10:35what are you doing
10:36checking to see if your underwear is color coded
10:38you're probably a mass solution of the week on it
10:42my underwear is none of your business
10:47i mean it kind of is
10:52if you want my help landing leo
10:55can we please stop talking about my underwear
10:59just what are you doing
11:06just what are you doing
11:20you have such incredible eyes dora
11:24i never noticed how beautiful they are before
11:29they're just eyes
11:37i have two of them like everyone else
11:41come on dora i was flirting with you
11:45see this is why i need help
11:47why couldn't i see what you were doing
11:52just be open to signals
11:55don't be dora the ignorer
11:59can i ignore you
12:00why would you care
12:04because you have such beautiful eyes
12:16you're flirting again
12:22yeah
12:25you're supposed to say something flirty back
12:27something flirty back
12:30i know
12:34i will practice on leo
12:35at the party tonight
12:36what you think
12:38yeah
12:39why not
12:40but just remember
12:42you still got your training wheels on
12:44don't expect miracles
12:45we'll need to have another flirting lesson
12:48all right
13:02i'll grab us a drink
13:04just
13:05try to be cool
13:08dude
13:09when am i not cool
13:11oh my god
13:16there's leo
13:17you're worth a million of him
13:20but you have no idea
13:21yeah
13:22good luck
13:24okay
13:27there she go
13:29we go
13:29hey
13:35hey
13:39hey
13:39felt you staring at me from over there
13:42was i
13:44i'm sorry if i was weird yesterday
13:50you don't gotta say it
13:52you don't gotta say it
13:52minnie's a bitch
13:53and you're awesome
13:55i am
13:57i am
13:58sorry if i was weird yesterday
14:07you don't gotta say it
14:10it's cool
14:12cool
14:15cool
14:16sorry if i was being weird yesterday
14:21you don't gotta say it
14:24it's cool
14:24okay
14:26yes she does
14:31doesn't she girls
14:33whatever it is
14:36and i think it
14:39is her vagina
14:40it's like a vagina
14:42only dryer
14:43we call it
14:45adora
14:46what the hell do you think you're doing
14:52we're doing nothing
14:57she means you
14:59because
15:00you're nothing
15:02oh
15:04i thought you were talking about how much lube you need
15:06she buys it in venti size tubes
15:10how cute
15:11but with how many guys you're seeing it's probably up to trenta right
15:15that's the longest one
15:18don't you dare laugh
15:23oh it's about me all of a sudden
15:26what do you see in her
15:35dora the boar
15:38what does her bony body make your boner look bigger
15:42she's great
15:48it's as simple as that
15:50mindy
15:50do you know what it'll do for my reputation
15:54if your first girlfriend after me
15:56is some pathetic little needy virgin
15:58why does dora being a virgin bother you so much
16:02i think it's kind of sweet
16:05this is just the start you sexless ironing board
16:16get ready for the plan i have
16:20specifically for you
16:22in five minutes
16:23come on
16:37i'll tell you so much better
16:38wait here
16:45i'll grab you some drinks and some snacks
16:47leo i have been in love with you for years
16:59i think we'd make a great team
17:00i've been saving myself for you
17:02and i want you to be the one to take my virginity
17:05before my 18th birthday next month
17:06ouch that's a real kick in the lady nuts
17:12could you be any more desperate
17:16i don't know
17:18dany and dora
17:20ready okay
17:23take my virginity
17:25take my virginity
17:27take my virginity
17:29please stop
17:50please let me go
17:56that's enough
17:58and you wonder why guys keep leaving you
18:01i don't care what anyone says
18:05when someone starts shit with me
18:07i always finish it
18:09you're wrong
18:11i don't finish it
18:14come on
18:19i'll get you tisha
18:36sorry
18:45i'm not usually a crier
18:47you can't let minnie get to you
18:51okay you need to fight back
18:53like with a shark
18:54you just need to punch her in the nose
18:56why do you care if she bullies me
19:02you remind me of my little sister
19:07she a pitiful virgin loser too
19:12i mean she's eight
19:14i really hope so
19:17i remind you of an eight year old
19:19stop crying
19:25it's all gonna be okay
19:29it's easy for you to say
19:33captain of the hockey team
19:36everyone loves you
19:39and i'm just
19:42nora
19:44i happen to think you're pretty great
19:51and hey that should count for something
19:56since i'm apparently so amazing
19:58i thought you just
20:06said that at the party to mess with mindy
20:08i'm losing my eyes
20:16because i meant it
20:17i'm lying to you
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