A Deal With The Hockey Captain

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Transcript

00:00Attaboy, Leo! Let's see some Hustletroid!

00:05Go, Leo! Go, Leo! Go, Leo! Go, Leo! Woo! Yeah!

00:10I'm Dora Miller, the ice hockey team's assistant that no one cares about.

00:15I love this job, mostly because it keeps me close to Leo.

00:19I crushed since childhood.

00:30Wait, did Leo really stop to help me?

00:37Ouch!

00:41I always believed that one day Leo would see me more than an assistant.

00:53You just got pucked, Dora.

00:54But back then, I had no idea how dangerous dreams could be, and how badly people could get hurt.

01:06It all started when I got an early birthday present from my parents.

01:18Happy birthday to my dearest daughter. We love you so much.

01:22I totally forgot I was only one month away from turning 18.

01:34Get with Leo. Lose my big card.

01:43You followed Leo to college for nothing.

01:47Idiot!

01:48I'm gonna die a virgin.

01:48If you want it, you're gonna have to make it happen.

01:56Dora Miller,

01:58just tell Leo how you feel.

02:01Stop being such a pussy and go for it!

02:03Dora.

02:18Dora.

02:22Can it wait?

02:24I'm just, I'm a little busy.

02:27Leo, I have been in love with you for years.

02:28I think we would make a great team.

02:32I've been saving myself for you,

02:34and I want you to be the one to take my virginity next month before my 18th birthday.

02:38Okay.

02:47Oh my god!

02:47What did she just say?

02:49She's a virgin.

02:50L-M-A-O.

02:50Oh, sweet.

02:57A pleading little virgin.

02:59Oh, don't let me stop you, Dora.

03:05What else do you have to say to Leo?

03:06Dora.

03:11Butie.

03:12Hey.

03:14I didn't realize you were on the toilet.

03:16It's funny.

03:18Something in the toilet made me think of you,

03:20and then I heard your needy voice.

03:23I can't believe you're still a virgin.

03:27Wait.

03:28I totally can.

03:30But I do love what you've done with your hair.

03:35Oh.

03:39I don't have a mustache.

03:43I'll just, I'll leave you guys.

03:46Go.

03:47And this, uh,

03:49it's interesting.

03:56Women have a choice for,

03:58they can be appealing,

04:00or they can be you.

04:03I like this cardigan.

04:07So would my great-great-great-grandmother.

04:13Leo's hot.

04:15You're not.

04:17Leo's rich, poor.

04:19We're in, you're out.

04:21Repeat that to yourself

04:22when you go and cry into your greasy pillow.

04:26Mindy.

04:27Know your place, nerd.

04:28in the library,

04:31wicking your nose with the other mouthfeels.

04:40Now, you could just, uh,

04:42finish up with some tears for my followers.

04:44Yes.

04:44What the hell?

05:03I'm not expecting money from anyone,

05:05especially this much.

05:06What the hell?

05:06I'm not expecting money from anyone,

05:07especially this much.

05:10Did your towel just fall?

05:30Why? I just need to pee.

05:39Oh, come on. It's not that bad.

05:41I just told Leo that I was in love with him, but Mindy was there.

05:45So now the whole school's gonna know that I'm a virgin.

05:48Are you in there trying to slip on some guy in the shower?

05:52Come on. I know you're in there, virgin.

05:54I can smell library dust and eyeglass cleaner.

06:00Oh, Troy.

06:13No virgins here.

06:16But you already knew that, right?

06:19Goodbye, ex-boyfriend.

06:30Oh, not so fast.

06:35Lord, the ignorer. I saved you. Now you won't. Big time.

06:44No way. Guys like you only want one thing.

06:49Such as?

06:50Help passing math.

06:51Listen, I've got a really weird tech situation, and I know you're good with that kind of stuff, but it's got to be kept real secret.

06:59If you got a virus from a porn site, that's your own problem.

07:03What? No, no. Some stranger's putting money into my account, and I'm worried they're setting me up to make it look like I'm throwing games.

07:11Match fixing?

07:11That also sounds super dodgy. I'm not touching it.

07:15Wait, well...

07:16What if we did a deal?

07:20You help me, and I help you get Leo. Boom! Swinging for fifth base in no time.

07:28It's a sexual reference for you. Who wants to have sex with Leo.

07:35It's not just sex. I love Leo. I've been waiting for him.

07:45So do we have a deal?

07:47Okay, but I need to clear something up. Fifth base? I thought it was fourth.

07:52You've got some work to do.

07:55You think I'm a joke?

07:57It's called teasing to her.

08:00Do you want Leo or not?

08:03Okay, so...

08:05You can teach me how to flirt and, you know, do things.

08:11You want me to teach you how to kiss, Stella?

08:16I just want to know what Leo will expect.

08:32I'm not super familiar with this stuff.

08:37Alright.

08:40Maybe we should tackle it in order. List it for me.

08:44Flirting fashion technique.

08:46Okay, so you spent some time thinking about this.

08:49Alright. Flirting skills first, and then boom. Fifth base.

08:54Sounds good. Just, uh, don't forget about fashion.

08:57And we need a deadline. How about the fundraising dance for the hockey team?

09:01You can make a big move there.

09:03It's only two weeks away.

09:05Calm down. You're not that hopeless.

09:07We can meet up tomorrow morning to discuss taftons.

09:11Okay. Sounds good.

09:13My whole life is gonna change.

09:17Go team.

09:19Oh, turkey. Gotcha.

09:30Dora! Just the person I wanted to see.

09:32Oh, shit.

09:34I wanted to say that I'm sorry about yesterday.

09:39You did?

09:40Yeah.

09:41I was just feeling really insecure because I really like Leo.

09:48But I shouldn't have reacted that way.

09:51Yeah.

09:52Okay.

09:53Thanks.

09:54Did you hear about the cake party that's happening tonight?

09:57You should totally come.

09:58All of us lost our beat cards at cake parties, didn't we girls?

10:03Totally.

10:04Totally.

10:05What the hell, Dora? Do you even live here?

10:10It's so friggin' neat.

10:11I like that it's organized.

10:12What are you doing?

10:13Checking to see if your underwear is color coded.

10:14You probably have a mass solution of the week on her.

10:28live here? It's so friggin neat. I like that it's organized.

10:34What are you doing? Checking to see if your underwear is color-coded. You probably have

10:40a mass solution of the Wii commerce. My underwear is none of your business. I mean, it kind of is.

10:54If you want my help landing Leo.

10:57Can we please stop talking about my underwear?

11:19Just what are you doing? You have such incredible eyes, Thora.

11:25I've never noticed how beautiful they are before.

11:37They're just eyes. I have two of them, like everyone else.

11:43Come on, Dora. I was flirting with you.

11:45See, this is why I need help.

11:47Why couldn't I see what you were doing?

11:53Just be open to signals. Don't be Dora the ignorer.

11:59Can I ignore you?

12:03Why would you care?

12:05Because you have such beautiful eyes.

12:17You're flirting again?

12:21Yeah. You're supposed to say something flirty back.

12:27It's a big flirty back.

12:29It's a big flirty back.

12:31Yeah.

12:33I know. I will practice on Leo at the party tonight.

12:37Whatcha think?

12:39Why not?

12:41But just remember, you've still got your training wheels on.

12:43Don't expect miracles.

12:45We'll need to have another flirting lesson.

12:47Alright.

13:01Alright.

13:03I'll grab us a drink.

13:05Just...

13:07Try to be cool.

13:09Dude.

13:10When am I not cool?

13:16Oh my god, there's Leo.

13:19You're worth a million of him, but you have no idea.

13:22Yeah.

13:23Good luck.

13:28We should go.

13:29We go.

13:35Hey.

13:39Felt you staring at me from over there.

13:43Was I?

13:47I'm sorry if I was weird yesterday.

13:50You don't gotta say it.

13:52Mindy's a bitch.

13:54And you're awesome.

13:56I am?

13:57I am.

13:58I am.

14:08Hey.

14:09Hey.

14:10Hey.

14:11Sorry I don't mean to interrupt.

14:14It's cool.

14:15Cool.

14:19Sorry if I was being weird yesterday.

14:23You don't gotta say it. It's cool.

14:25Okay.

14:30Yes, she does.

14:32Doesn't she, girls?

14:35Whatever it is.

14:38And I think it is her vagina.

14:41It's like a vagina, only drier.

14:44We call it Adora.

14:46What the hell do you think you're doing?

14:56You're doing nothing.

14:58She means you.

15:00Because...

15:01You're nothing.

15:03Oh.

15:04I thought you were talking about how much lube you need.

15:07She buys it in venti-sized tubes.

15:10How cute!

15:11But with how many guys you're seeing, it's probably up to Trenta, right?

15:17That's the largest one.

15:22Don't you dare laugh!

15:24Well, it's about me all of a sudden.

15:26What do you see in her?

15:27Dora the boarer?

15:28What does her bony body make your boner look bigger?

15:29She's great.

15:31It's as simple as that, Mindy.

15:32Do you know what it'll do for my reputation if your first girlfriend after me is some pathetic little needy virgin?

15:33Why does Dora being a virgin bother you so much?

15:34What do you see in her?

15:35What do you see in her?

15:37Dora the boarer?

15:39What does her bony body make your boner look bigger?

15:43She's great.

15:48It's as simple as that, Mindy.

15:51Do you know what it'll do for my reputation if your first girlfriend after me is some pathetic little needy virgin?

15:58Why does Dora being a virgin bother you so much?

16:04I think it's kind of sweet.

16:13This is just the start, you sexless ironing board.

16:18Get ready for the plan I have specifically for you in five minutes.

16:28I can't see.

16:34Emotions.

16:36Come on.

16:37I'll tell you something about it.

16:45Wait here.

16:46I'll grab you some drinks and some snacks.

16:47Leo, I have been in love with you for years.

16:59I think we'd make a great team.

17:01I've been saving myself for you and I want you to be the one to take my virginity before my 18th birthday next month.

17:06Ouch.

17:07That's a real kick in the lady nuts.

17:12Could you be any more desperate?

17:16I don't know.

17:18Can you Dora?

17:20Ready?

17:21Okay.

17:23Take my virginity.

17:25Take my virginity.

17:26Take my virginity.

17:27Take my virginity.

17:28Take my virginity.

17:29Take my virginity.

17:48Please stop.

17:49Please let me go.

17:58That's enough!

17:59And you wonder why guys keep leaving you.

18:03I don't care what anyone says.

18:06When someone starts shit with me, I always finish it.

18:10You're wrong.

18:13I don't finish it.

18:19Come on.

18:35I'll get you Tisha.

18:44Sorry.

18:46I'm not usually a crier.

18:49You can't let Mindy get to you.

18:52Okay, you need to fight back.

18:53Like with a shark.

18:54You just need to punch her in the nose.

19:00Why do you care if she bullies me?

19:05You remind me of my little sister.

19:09Is she a pitiful virgin loser too?

19:13I mean, she's eight.

19:15I really hope so.

19:16I remind you of an eight-year-old?

19:20No.

19:24Stop crying.

19:28It's all gonna be okay.

19:30Yeah.

19:32It's easy for you to say.

19:34Captain of the hockey team.

19:36Everyone loves you.

19:38Everyone loves you.

19:40And I'm just...

19:43Nora.

19:45I happen to think you're pretty great.

19:50And...

19:51Hey, that should count for some things.

19:52Since I'm apparently so amazing.

19:53I thought you just said that at the party to mess with Mindy.

19:55I said it.

19:56I'm losing my eyes.

19:57Because I meant it.

19:58I'm lying to you.

19:59I'm lying to you.

20:00I'm losing my eyes.

20:01Because I meant it.

20:02I'm lying to you.

20:03You're...

20:04So I don't like myself.

20:05I'm losing my eyes.

20:06It's nothing.

20:07I've been losing my eyes.

20:08I'm lying to you.

20:09So you're not lying to me?

20:11I said it.

20:13I'm losing my eyes.

20:16I meant it.

20:17I'm lying to you.

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