I Live Next To A Weird Family

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00:00Hi, I'm Brittany from Philadelphia. Please like and subscribe. I was raised by my single German mom

00:05who moved to the U.S. before she had me, and she wasn't a very conventional mom. For starters,

00:10I was allowed to call her by her name, Julia, and other people just didn't get that. Carol,

00:15excuse me, can I please go to the bathroom? It's Miss Carol, honey. You don't call adults by their

00:20first names, like you say mom. You don't use her name. Yeah, I do. I call her Julia all the time.

00:26What's wrong with that, Carol? She thought I was being cheeky and got mad,

00:30and I really didn't understand why. But after that, I started using Miss, Mr., or Mrs. with names of

00:36everything in her class just to be on the safe side. Mr. Apple, Miss Banana, Mrs. Pencil,

00:40and for some reason, that annoyed her too. Mom always treated me more like her BFF than her

00:46daughter, and we could have candid conversations about anything. How many boyfriends have you had,

00:50Julia? Five. Can I have a boyfriend? Sure, but I warn you, boys are annoying. Was my dad

00:56annoying? He was the worst. Lazy, stupid jerk. He always stole my chocolates. I'm glad he's not

01:02around. Okay, is Santa Claus real? Ugh, of course not. I buy your amazing presents,

01:07not some fat old men. I thought so, Julia. Life was pretty good, till a woman moved next to us in

01:12the third grade. She had a son who seemed to be my age, and mom and I were excited to welcome them

01:17to the neighborhood, but the lady didn't seem too happy to see us. What is it? You woke me up from my nap.

01:22Oh, we just brought you a butter pecan pie. A what now? A butter pecan pie. That's just her

01:28German accent. Sounds really weird. I'll return the dish once we've eaten it. Okay, danke. What did

01:33you say? I said okay, danke. Who are you calling a donkey, you weirdo? And then she smashed the pie

01:39in mom's face. Mom lost it and attacked her, and several neighbors had to stop them from ripping

01:44each other's hair out. I tried telling the lady and her son that danke means thank you in German,

01:49but they just wouldn't listen. And that was the day an endless war started between the two houses.

01:54Alan's mom worked the night shift and slept during the day, so mom made sure she did everything noisy

01:59during that time, like mowing the lawn, hammering nails in the wall for hanging pictures, and playing

02:04the drums. Yeah, she bought a drum set just for that purpose. And in turn, we'd often find our washed

02:09laundry in the mud, dog poop on our doorstep, our newspaper crosswords always done, and trash outside

02:14our gate. Hey, you pick this up before I come and kick your bottom. You should go back inside. There's

02:20already enough garbage on the street. Our moms also kept calling the cops on each other. They were playing

02:25their music too loud. We were not. They're keeping an illegal animal in that house. We just own a cat, you

02:31moron. But you've been keeping lice in your hair and spreading it in the neighborhood. Officer, arrest her.

02:37We shared a wall. And one time, mom was playing music and Alan's mom started banging on the wall. Mom

02:43got pissed and banged even harder. Then Alan's mom punched a hole through the living room wall

02:48with a broom. You stupid cow. You've ruined my wall. It's not your wall. It's mine. Alan and his mom

02:54tossed a bunch of trash through the hole. And of course, we returned the favor. And for me and Alan,

02:59our few didn't even stay at home. We made each other miserable in school with stupid pranks. One day,

03:05I discovered slime in my locker. And just then, I heard Alan talking trash about me to his friends

03:10in the hallway. I'd had enough. So I threw toilet water on him. Wow, you smell terrible. I'll get

03:16you for that, Brittany. Ooh, I'm scared. You gonna get your mom to punish me, you mama's boy? I can

03:21take care of myself, you ugly monkey. There was never a moment of peace between us. And then in ninth

03:26grade, our moms both came to school for the school play and started fighting over a seat. Hey,

03:31that's mine. It doesn't have your name on it. If it did, how would you know?

03:35It's not like you can read English. They started shoving and scratching each other. A couple of

03:40teachers had to drag them out of the auditorium as Alan and I looked on in horror, seemed like

03:45everyone was talking about us. I don't think I've ever felt so embarrassed in my entire life.

03:50Seriously, I wish the ground would swallow me whole. Wow, look at us. We actually agree on something.

03:56And honestly, I was getting a little sick of it all. We had done about as many nasty things as we

04:01could to each other. And I was beginning to wonder what the point of it was. Julia, why don't we just

04:05move and put all this behind us? No, that's exactly what that woman wants. And I won't let her have it.

04:12But there were more and more days where I saw Alan and it wasn't my first instinct to glare at him

04:17or call him stupid or throw my drink in his face. And I started noticing a similar change in Alan. I think

04:22the two of us had reached the same conclusion. We had outgrown this feud. We weren't friends,

04:27like not at all, but we weren't really enemies anymore either, which somehow led us to being

04:31partnered for a class project. Oh, great. Stuck with you. Are you going to set my notebook on fire

04:36or stab me with a pencil? Look who's talking. You threw rotten eggs through my bedroom window

04:40and put a dead fish in my mailbox. I'm not exactly thrilled about this either. Whatever. Let's just get

04:46it over with. We knew there would be a huge fight if either of us told our mothers we were working

04:50together. So we kept it a secret and met up in parks and cafes. I didn't expect to enjoy myself,

04:55but weirdly I did. One day I caught him staring at me. What are you looking at? I always thought

05:00your face looked like a rotten tomato, but when you smile, you're kind of cute. Oh yeah? Your face

05:05looks like a raisin. Raisins are sweet and they're good for you. The next day, Alan gave me a basket of

05:10golden raisins with a silly note that made me smile. Alan was actually really funny. He made me laugh

05:16more than anyone else. And I could almost forget all the things he'd done to make me angry over

05:21the years. Brittany, I know our moms hate each other, but I was thinking. You mean you finally

05:25got that brain of yours to work? Haha, very funny. Truth is, I don't hate you. I'm not sure if I ever

05:31really did. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Even after the project was done, we kept sneaking

05:37around and hanging out as much as we could, watching movies and taking long walks. And the more time I

05:42spent around him, the more I started realizing that I like-liked him. Alan, I think I- You've

05:48fallen head over heels for me. You've been struck by Cupid's arrow. You can't get enough of me. And

05:52you think about me all the time. I wouldn't say all that. Okay, fine. If you were gonna say that

05:57you liked me, then you should know that I like you too. So what should we do about it? I have some

06:02ideas. Then Alan pulled me close and kissed me. Our moms were still getting into fights, but that

06:07didn't mean we had to be a part of it. When we were in school, we could totally pretend none of that

06:12drama was real. And afterwards, we would hang out in places where our moms weren't likely

06:16to find us. Sometimes, we'd even use the whole connecting her houses to talk after our moms

06:21had gone to sleep. Things seemed to finally be going well. Mostly. When should we tell

06:25our moms? Don't you think it's too soon? Considering that they hate each other, it seems

06:29like any time would be bad. Besides, aren't you sick of sneaking around behind their backs?

06:34I'm not really used to keeping secrets from my mom. I guess you're right. Why don't

06:38you come over for this big family dinner mom's hosting tomorrow? And I can introduce you as

06:42my girlfriend then. She won't make a scene in front of so many people. Trust me.

06:45That night, I showed up at the party all decked out, and Alan greeted me at the door.

06:50Wow, you look amazing. You look good too. Aside from the sweat on your forehead. I'm just a

06:55little nervous. I'll be fine. The house was filled with guests, and they were really nice

06:59to me. A few minutes later, we all went to the dining room, and that's when Alan's mom walked

07:03in with the roast chicken and saw me. What is that awful girl doing here, Alan? Alan

07:07was about to speak, but then suddenly he pushed me away instead. I have no idea, mom. She

07:12must have snuck in. She has a crush on me, and she's just obsessed, like a psycho stalker.

07:16I was so shocked and hurt. I couldn't even move or speak. You horrible child. Get off my

07:21property at once or I'll call the police. Alan's mom picked up a bowl full of spaghetti

07:26and hurled it at me. I ducked just in time and went running out the door in tears. And when

07:30my mom found me sobbing on my bed later, I told her what had happened. She was beyond

07:36furious. I'm not going to let them both get away with this. Julia, can't we please just

07:41move away? I'm so sick of all this fighting. No, we are staying right here, and we are planning

07:47revenge. She came up with all these crazy ideas for how I could embarrass him at school or

07:52out in public, and some of them involved his mom. I was getting so frustrated that my brain

07:57was about to explode. Just stop. What do you mean stop? You haven't even heard the

08:02rest of the plan. I'm sick of this. I don't want to be part of your stupid plan. There's

08:07no need to be rude to your mother. If you have a better plan, share it. OMG, you are not

08:13hearing me. I'm tired of this stupid feud, and I don't care about getting revenge on

08:17anyone. And I wish you would act like a mother for once. I ran outside and bumped right

08:23into Alan. What are you doing here? Brittany, look, I don't have much time. My mom's out,

08:28and I wanted to say, I don't care about what you have to say. We decided to tell your mom

08:32about us, and you chickened out and lied about everything. Wait, please. I know. I was a jerk

08:37and a coward, and I shouldn't have acted like that. I just froze up. Congratulations on your

08:41self-awareness. Now get out of my way. You don't understand. My mom's terrifying. She gets

08:46that crazy look in her eyes. I can't make her mad. She's really hard on me. But I know that's

08:51not a good excuse, and I really am sorry. I love you so much. I want to shout it from

08:57the rooftops. I hate hiding things and living like this. What if we didn't have to hide it?

09:02Our moms will never see eye to eye. We need to find a way, if you really care enough.

09:06Of course I do. Both our moms were on alert because of what had happened, so we had to

09:10be extra careful sneaking around and meeting up, which led to some pretty close calls. One

09:16night, I even had to climb a tree and leap over Alan's backyard fence when his mom got home

09:20from work early. And then a day came when we were hanging out at the park, and suddenly

09:24my mom popped out of a bush. Aha! I knew something was going on. How could you, Brittany?

09:30Mom, I... Alan! Suddenly, Alan's mom appeared from behind another bush. Why would you associate

09:36yourself with that awful girl? Because we love each other. You! Your evil daughter has brainwashed

09:41my son. More like, your demon son has brainwashed my daughter. Our moms fell into an all-out fight,

09:47pulling hair and screaming and trying to gouge each other's eyes out. It was insane! But

09:52Alan and I looked at each other and just ran away from there. We were done. And for the

09:57next three days, we hid at my friend's house and made her swear not to tell our mothers.

10:01After a while, our moms reported us missing, and flyers of our faces were posted all over

10:05the city. You know we can't do this forever, Brittany. I know, but I'm not sure I'm ready

10:09to go back yet. I'm not either, but we have to eventually. The next morning when we went

10:13home, both our moms came running out, pulling us into hugs and sobbing. Brittany, where have

10:19you been? I was very sick. Alan, how could you do this to your poor mother? Alan took

10:24my hand as we faced them together. Alan and I are together. That's not going to change

10:28just because you can't get along with his mom. We've always been so close, Julia. But

10:33you're ruining our relationship and making me miserable. I need you to stop being so selfish.

10:38Don't make us choose between you two and our relationship. You both need to respect our

10:42decision. You don't have to like each other, but you need to respect and tolerate each other

10:46if you want us in your lives. You got it? Our moms looked at us and then at each other.

10:51And for the first time that I could remember, they didn't start fighting. Instead, they shook

10:55hands. All right. This doesn't mean we are friends though, but can we call our truce? Gross.

11:00Why would I think we're friends? But yeah, truce.

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