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Transcript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00CastingWords
00:01:29CastingWords
00:01:59CastingWords
00:02:29CastingWords
00:02:31CastingWords
00:02:35CastingWords
00:02:39CastingWords
00:02:43CastingWords
00:02:53CastingWords
00:03:05I don't know.
00:03:35I don't know.
00:04:05Big brother, are you in position?
00:04:07Big brother?
00:04:08Little sister?
00:04:09Affirmative.
00:04:10Attack in 30.
00:04:12Starting now.
00:04:13Big brother, are you in position?
00:04:24Hmm
00:04:40Ah
00:04:54Six, five, four, three, two, one.
00:05:07It's an ambush!
00:05:13Alka-Felpen!
00:05:16Whoa!
00:05:21Big Brother!
00:05:22Archer, where are you?
00:05:25Hang, hang!
00:05:43Surround the enemy and fidelity, you have no chance!
00:05:46Off to prison, American Satans!
00:05:49Good evening.
00:06:13Americans were shocked today by the announcement of the failure of yet another mission to rescue
00:06:18our hostages from the Middle East.
00:06:21Informed sources reveal that the rescue team itself has been captured and added to those
00:06:25already being held.
00:06:28Preliminary reports also indicate that an attempt on the life of a terrorist dictator
00:06:32was thwarted at the same time.
00:06:34With the presidential election just ten days away, this could be a setback for the White
00:06:38House.
00:06:39Presidential challenger Senator Gray Edwards, campaigning in Chattanooga, commented on the
00:06:44failed mission.
00:06:45Senator, this is no time for partisan politics.
00:06:48Bringing our people home should be the nation's number one priority.
00:06:51Despite this current crisis, the president is putting on his best political face.
00:06:56Continuing on his campaign schedule, Benson's 20-point lead in the poll six months ago has
00:07:01plummeted since the hostage crisis began.
00:07:04The CNN Victoria's Secret catalog poll now has the president, Ann Edwards, running neck
00:07:09and neck.
00:07:10This afternoon Benson made a brief stop in Fergus Falls, Virginia for the ground breaking
00:07:15of his presidential library.
00:07:17The five living former chief executives, Presidents Bush, Reagan, Carter, Ford and Nixon were on
00:07:24hand for this ground breaking ceremony.
00:07:26White House correspondent Jerry Kelter reports on this historic moment.
00:07:30The library is to be built adjacent to the Fergus Falls Civic Center.
00:07:34President Benson made no statements as he went about his business.
00:07:37Publicly, it seemed as though he was unaware of the political blow he had been dealt.
00:07:42Privately, AIDS marveled at his spirit as he performed his usual morning routine by milking
00:07:48the White House goats and finishing a second helping of grapefruit supreme corn.
00:07:53Tonight, the president and his top advisers will be burning the midnight oil.
00:07:58Sabotage.
00:08:00My God, man, what does it mean?
00:08:03We have to tighten security, sir.
00:08:05Find out who's behind it.
00:08:06No, no, no.
00:08:07The word, sabotage, what's it mean?
00:08:10It means someone's trying to subvert our mission, sir.
00:08:12One of our own people could be working with the enemy.
00:08:14Huh.
00:08:15Come in.
00:08:16Mr. President.
00:08:18Ah!
00:08:19Oh, Jesus, don't you ever, ever sneak up on me like that again.
00:08:24What is it, Bob?
00:08:25If Edwards gets wind of this, he'll use it against you in the campaign.
00:08:28He'll try to prove that you're incompetent.
00:08:30I can prove that as well as he can.
00:08:32Mr. President, the CIA can't afford another failure.
00:08:35We want to send Colonel Walters to get our people out.
00:08:38And to ensure the mission's success, we'll need Topper Harley.
00:08:41We think we've located him in the Far East.
00:08:43Topper Harley.
00:08:46We've served together before, sir.
00:08:48There's no one better.
00:08:50Uh-uh.
00:08:51Cookie?
00:08:52Not me, sir.
00:08:53Young lady?
00:08:54No, thank you.
00:08:55No, no.
00:08:56I was just offering him a young lady.
00:08:59Oh, yeah.
00:09:00Topper Harley.
00:09:01Right.
00:09:02Good.
00:09:03I love the boy.
00:09:04Kid's got guts.
00:09:05Why, there isn't a fighting man in this planet.
00:09:07Gotcha.
00:09:08Listen, hit the door, huh?
00:09:09Well, Walters, looks like we've got our saboteur.
00:09:11That's your wife, sir.
00:09:13Huh?
00:09:14Yeah, so it is.
00:09:15I'm in here.
00:09:16Yeah, you're looking as lovely as the day we met.
00:09:18I know what she knows.
00:09:19That's for you.
00:09:20Get me Topper Harley.
00:09:22I'm in here.
00:09:23Yeah, you're looking as lovely as the day we met.
00:09:28I know what she knows.
00:09:30That's for you.
00:09:31Get me Topper Harley.
00:09:33Oh, my God.
00:10:03Oh
00:10:33Oh
00:11:03Oh
00:11:33Oh
00:11:35Oh
00:12:05Oh
00:12:35This is where you conditioning pays off
00:13:05Oh
00:13:35Oh
00:14:05Topper
00:14:24I don't believe it
00:14:28Topper
00:14:31Colonel
00:14:32Good to see you again
00:14:34Yeah
00:14:35You too
00:14:36You wanna tell me about it?
00:14:39Well they let me live here
00:14:41I help out fixing things
00:14:44It's peaceful
00:14:45Quiet
00:14:47No one is allowed to talk
00:14:52And that dim sum fighting in the warehouse yesterday
00:14:55I just do that for the extra money
00:14:57And to satisfy my male cravings to kill and win
00:15:01Colonel, who are they?
00:15:04She's CIA
00:15:06The other man's an extra
00:15:08What does she do?
00:15:11Heads up covert operations in the Middle East
00:15:14Reports directly to President Benson
00:15:16Colonel, these men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy
00:15:20Like their fathers and their fathers before them
00:15:22I haven't seen a woman in decades
00:15:25Miss Huddleston
00:15:30This is Michelle Huddleston
00:15:32Topper Harley
00:15:33Pleasure
00:15:34You sure not easy to find
00:15:36Why are you keeping track?
00:15:37It's like the colonel says
00:15:39Good men are hard to find
00:15:41I don't know how much you know about what went on after the last war
00:15:44But several of our men were missing in action
00:15:47Since then on two occasions we sent in squads to rescue those men
00:15:51Both missions failed
00:15:52Now we have to go in to get the men who went in to get the men who went in to get the men
00:15:56My job is to make sure we don't fail again
00:15:58What's this got to do with me?
00:16:00I'm going this time
00:16:02We want you to go with him Topper
00:16:04Why me ma'am?
00:16:05Because you're the best of what's left
00:16:09My war is over
00:16:21This will cost you a few extra dollars now
00:16:23But you'll make that back and more on your heating bill this winter
00:16:27Later we're going to be caulking the ashram if you want to stop by
00:16:30Thanks Bob
00:16:35This mission is important Topper
00:16:37We've got to take care of our people
00:16:39Come with me
00:16:44When are you going to put Ramada behind you?
00:16:47What are you talking about?
00:16:48You say your war is over
00:16:50Well maybe the one out there is but not the one inside you
00:16:54You're running away from the pain
00:16:56Oh
00:16:58But it won't solve anything
00:16:59Because wherever you go
00:17:00You take the pain with you
00:17:02You've come an awful long way to bring me a lecture
00:17:04Haven't you Colonel?
00:17:05I know you were hurt when that woman left
00:17:07But you're just using that to hide from who you really are
00:17:10That was a long time ago
00:17:11Thank you
00:17:12Next
00:17:13I don't want it
00:17:14I don't want it
00:17:19Topper let me tell you a little story
00:17:21It seems there were three bears
00:17:23And one morning when their porridge was too hot they went for a walk
00:17:27And a little blonde girl came skipping through the woods
00:17:30And she ate their porridge and she sat in their chairs
00:17:33And she slept in their beds
00:17:35And when those bears returned and discovered that mess
00:17:38Do you know what happened then Topper?
00:17:41No
00:17:42That little blonde girl got scared
00:17:45Ran away
00:17:48So what you're saying is that little blonde girl is me?
00:17:52If this is about me coloring my hair
00:17:55Topper they didn't make you this fighting machine
00:17:58They just cooked up the porridge and went for a walk
00:18:02And you'll never stop running until you face your three bears
00:18:07Ramada
00:18:11Colonel
00:18:13I'm sorry
00:18:14This got to end for me sometime
00:18:16If you should change your mind
00:18:18Here's my 900 number
00:18:20It's five dollars a minute I'll waive the charges
00:18:28Your three bears
00:18:35Ramada
00:18:36Ramada
00:18:37Ramada
00:18:38Ramada
00:18:39Ramada
00:18:40Ramada
00:18:41Ramada
00:18:42Ramada
00:18:43Ramada
00:18:44Ramada
00:18:45Ramada
00:18:46Ramada
00:18:47Ramada
00:18:48Ramada
00:18:49Ramada
00:18:50Ramada
00:18:51Ramada
00:18:52Ramada
00:18:53Ramada
00:18:54Ramada
00:18:55Ramada
00:18:56Ramada
00:18:57If our lips should meet inamorata
00:19:04Don Corleone
00:19:06Kiss me, kiss me sweet inamorata
00:19:12Hold me close and stay your mind
00:19:19With a love as warm as wine
00:19:26I'm at heaven's door, inamorata
00:19:35Want you more and more, inamorata
00:19:41You're a symphony
00:19:45A very beautiful sonata, my inamorata
00:19:51Say that you're my sweetheart, my love
00:19:58I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
00:20:08When I'm surprised, I'm sorry
00:20:17You're a symphony, a very beautiful sonano, my namorata.
00:20:35Say that you're my sweetheart, my love.
00:20:42Hey, what's wrong, kid?
00:20:50I love you so much, but it's such a crazy world, I just don't want anything to happen to us.
00:20:57Don't worry.
00:20:58In a couple of days, we'll be on the train to Hawaii.
00:21:01We'll find a minister who'll marry us, and we'll never be apart again.
00:21:05But if something should keep us apart,
00:21:08if one of us can't make it to Blenheim train station,
00:21:11like, for instance, if something came up unexpectedly,
00:21:17not that I think it would, or it already has,
00:21:21wherever I'll be, I want you to know that...
00:21:31Kiss me.
00:21:34Kiss me like you've never kissed me before.
00:21:36You will denounce the criminal acts against our people by your president.
00:21:58Sign here, initial here, here, and here.
00:22:01Stop it!
00:22:02Fyelze!
00:22:12Fyelze!
00:22:13Beside me.
00:22:14Sign the document.
00:22:44I see you're no stranger to pain.
00:23:02I've been married twice.
00:23:06Why?
00:23:14Like the previous six, this victim was found folded neatly in half and placed inside
00:23:23the glove compartment of a sanitation truck.
00:23:26Police are baffled.
00:23:28This just in, Presidential Military Advisor Colonel Denton Walters has been captured
00:23:34during an aborted attempt to free our hostages.
00:23:37This tape was delivered to us just moments ago.
00:23:40They are treating me good here.
00:23:42The food is tasty and nourishing.
00:23:46The peace-loving leader of this great country has asked me to appeal to you, President Benson,
00:23:52to stop your vicious imperialistic tactics around the globe.
00:24:12Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and give a warm welcome to His Excellency, the Prime
00:24:17Minister of Japan, Masahiro Soto, and Mrs. Soto.
00:24:21President of the United States, Thomas Benson.
00:24:30Mr. President, this is Prime Minister Masahiro Soto and Mrs. Soto.
00:24:34Ah, President Benson, where is your first lady?
00:24:37My first lady?
00:24:38Hell, I don't know.
00:24:39I've had a lot of women.
00:24:40Lost my flower at the tender age of 15.
00:24:41I can't keep track of all of them.
00:24:43Let's get this over with.
00:24:44I'm not feeling so well today.
00:24:46My intestines were removed during action in the North Atlantic.
00:24:49Took a torpedo in the lower abdomen and they replaced every foot of my bowel with hemp.
00:24:54Clogs easily.
00:24:55I hope you feel better.
00:24:57Oh, I'll have to see yours.
00:24:59Well, I trust you.
00:25:01Thanks.
00:25:02The junior senator from Minnesota, Ray Henry.
00:25:13President Benson, Prime Minister Soto, ladies and gentlemen, tonight we put election politics
00:25:20aside as I join you in my duties as Majority Whip and Chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee
00:25:27in welcoming the Japanese Prime Minister and his lovely wife to these United States.
00:25:34Our two great nations have begun what we hope will be along.
00:25:40Brrrr!
00:25:42Fuck!
00:25:44Fuck!
00:25:45I don't remember reading that.
00:25:46I feel better now.
00:25:48Raw fish out of here, makes it.
00:25:50Oh, God.
00:25:51Hmm.
00:25:52Hmm.
00:25:53Hmm.
00:25:54Hmm.
00:25:55Hmm.
00:25:56Hmm.
00:25:57Hmm.
00:25:58Look at that.
00:25:59There's my teeth.
00:26:01Only to contain the highest spirit voices.
00:26:05Yeah.
00:26:06Huh.
00:26:07That filthy.
00:26:08And so, I would like to propose a toast.
00:26:10Oh, thank you, Hugo.
00:26:13I'll take that, sir.
00:26:14Yeah.
00:26:15To world peace.
00:26:16Oh.
00:26:17To a clean environment.
00:26:18Huh.
00:26:19To harmony with our planet and world prosperity.
00:26:23Ah!
00:26:24Ah!
00:26:25Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:27Ah!
00:26:28Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:31Ah!
00:26:32Ah!
00:26:33Ah!
00:26:34Ah!
00:26:35Ah!
00:26:36Ah!
00:26:37Ah!
00:26:38Ah!
00:26:39Ah!
00:26:40Ah!
00:26:41Ah!
00:26:42Ah!
00:26:43Ah!
00:26:44Ah!
00:26:45Ah!
00:26:48Ah!
00:26:48Ah!
00:26:49Ah!
00:26:50Ah!
00:26:54Now, the president of the United States, Thomas Benson.
00:27:02I'm Mr. Tojo, Senator Edwards, my fellow Americans,
00:27:06and our millions of illegal aliens.
00:27:09It seems like only yesterday I was strafing so many of your homes.
00:27:13Here I am today begging you not to make such good cars.
00:27:16Excuse me just a second. Need a glass of work?
00:27:19Damn tongue's gone dry. It's not mine, you know.
00:27:21No, I lost mine in Laos. Little comic kid lopped it right off.
00:27:24Probably a doorstop somewhere, for all I know.
00:27:26I've got this one from a basset hound.
00:27:31Ralphie, get the car.
00:27:34President Benson.
00:27:37No, you're not. Seen him on television. He's an older man, about my height.
00:27:41Sir, this is Topper Harley.
00:27:44Topper, yes, of course. Son I never had.
00:27:47Well, no damn wonder I didn't recognize you then, huh?
00:27:50What a word of advice.
00:27:51Don't go around calling yourself the president.
00:27:53I wouldn't do that, and I don't think you should either.
00:27:55It just doesn't hold water.
00:27:57For that matter, neither do I.
00:27:59Just get away from these power cables, huh?
00:28:02Sir, I'd like to join the next mission.
00:28:05Oh, God bless you, boy.
00:28:06But we're keeping this one on the QT.
00:28:08We're calling it secret mission
00:28:09to go in and get Walters and our boys back.
00:28:11And son, when you come back,
00:28:13I'm gonna throw you wonderful guys
00:28:15a party the likes of which you've never seen.
00:28:17And there should be plenty to eat.
00:28:18I doubt if more than half of you will return.
00:28:28Got a light, Lieutenant?
00:28:30I quit smoking.
00:28:32Besides, I don't think they allow it in here.
00:28:35What are they gonna do, arrest me for smoking?
00:28:37Now I know what to get you for Christmas.
00:28:51Why don't you make it a thigh, Master?
00:28:52I've broken my last three.
00:28:54Really?
00:28:55Let's go to my apartment and discuss our mission.
00:28:58I'm putty in your hands.
00:29:01In my hands, nothing turns to putty.
00:29:03I'm putting my hands.
00:29:03I'm putting my hands.
00:29:07Tonight, tonight, we're gonna make it happen.
00:29:25Tonight, we'll put all of the things aside.
00:29:30Give in this time and show me some affection.
00:29:33We're going for those pleasures in the night.
00:29:40I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you.
00:29:46I want to squeeze you, please you.
00:29:49I just can't get enough.
00:29:51And if you move real slow, I'll let it go.
00:29:56I'm so excited.
00:29:58And I just can't hide it.
00:30:00And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I want you.
00:30:17We shouldn't even think about tomorrow.
00:30:21Your memories will last a long, long time.
00:30:27We'll have a good time, baby.
00:30:30Don't do it.
00:30:32And if we're still playing around, boy, that's just fine.
00:30:38Let's get excited.
00:30:40We can never pay hearted.
00:30:43No, no, no.
00:30:44I'm about to lose control.
00:30:45I think I like it.
00:30:48Oh, yeah.
00:30:49I'm so excited.
00:30:51We can never pay hearted.
00:30:53No, no, no, no.
00:30:54No.
00:30:54I know, I know, I know, I know.
00:30:57I know, I want you, I want you.
00:30:59Oh, yeah.
00:31:00Oh, yeah.
00:31:19Oh, boy.
00:31:20I'm so excited.
00:31:22Oh, yeah.
00:31:23Just can't hide it.
00:31:24No, no, no, no.
00:31:26I know.
00:31:27I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
00:31:29I want you, I want you.
00:31:31Yeah.
00:31:32Let's go.
00:32:02I'm so excited, what you do, I just can't hide, you've got to be burning up, I'm on my
00:32:30And in an emotional address at the state capitol, Nebraska governor Paul Burmaster today made a public apology for his state being so flat
00:33:00Where are you?
00:33:05I don't know.
00:33:08What's wrong?
00:33:10My arm's asleep.
00:33:12No, something else.
00:33:15My leg, too.
00:33:17No place you can tell me.
00:33:21Well.
00:33:23Topper.
00:33:25I have to wee-wee.
00:33:27Look, I told myself last night was just going to be last night.
00:33:34I guess I just never counted on finding a guy so deep, so sensitive.
00:33:41I've fallen for you, Topper.
00:33:43I've fallen for you big time.
00:33:51There's someone else, isn't there?
00:33:55No idea what you mean.
00:33:57No one sense these things, Topper.
00:34:00I said there's no one.
00:34:04I'm fine.
00:34:06I know about Ramada Topper.
00:34:07I read your dossier.
00:34:09She must be quite a woman.
00:34:13And what if she was?
00:34:16Was?
00:34:17Last call for train 590 from Glendale, San Francisco, and Honolulu.
00:34:26What?
00:34:28What?
00:34:33Told you.
00:34:34Wanted you twice.
00:34:35Harley?
00:34:38Harley?
00:34:44Topper, Harley?
00:34:45Right here.
00:34:45i cannot go with you or ever see you again just believe that i love you
00:35:03you must be brave my darling this card is printed on recycled paper
00:35:15sergeant pick that up someone could trip over it
00:35:45which one of you is michelle huddleston she is i'm glad you're here we just learned the
00:36:01hostages are being moved i'm commander arvid harbinger i'm running this show i'm sorry
00:36:05commander presidential orders lieutenant harley and i are in charge now any questions no ma'am
00:36:12harley i've been there i've seen the enemy if you're not ready you won't make it
00:36:21i've fired a couple guns
00:36:22i'll assemble the men with your permission
00:36:27gentlemen ms huddleston cia and lieutenant topper harley we're working for them
00:36:38warriors com sync pack ramp set mos 92 h tact object paddywhack paddywhack give a dog a bone
00:36:46sir of course ravenowitz demolition i'm looking forward to blowing something up for you sir
00:36:52i'm looking forward to your explosions gentlemen commander harbinger has just advised me we
00:36:56have 11 hours to free the prisoners after that we may lose them forever this is the prison
00:37:03camp area it is heavily fortified but they'll never expect an attack from the jungle your contact
00:37:09code name bench press will lead you to the camp i'll be there to meet you at the rendezvous point
00:37:15good luck
00:37:16topper
00:37:22topper i know we haven't had much time together but when you go into battle i'd like you to take
00:37:31something of mine with you
00:37:33you're lucky mo
00:37:40good luck
00:37:54you're lucky
00:38:00you're lucky
00:38:04I know.
00:38:34Hey, Topper, what are you reading?
00:38:41Great expectations.
00:38:43Is it any good?
00:38:44It's not all I hoped for.
00:38:46You know what I'm gonna do if we make it?
00:38:49I'm gonna go back to Eagle River and marry my gal, Edith May.
00:38:54Gonna get us a nice little place with a white picket fence.
00:38:59You know the kind.
00:39:01Two-car garage, maybe a fishing boat.
00:39:05And in 15 years, when they're all paid for,
00:39:08I'll set my charges and blow the shit out of them.
00:39:14You got a girl, Topper?
00:39:20Painted to Sky King. No parents in sight. Party is on.
00:39:24Green! Green! Green! Green!
00:39:26Hook up!
00:39:27Green! Green! Green!
00:39:28Green!
00:39:35Geronimo!
00:39:38Geronimo!
00:39:42Me!
00:39:43Mm.
00:39:53Ah.
00:40:01Uh, ah.
00:40:02Oh...
00:40:03Oh, my God.
00:40:33Thanks, brothers.
00:41:00Oh, wow.
00:41:03Oh, my God.
00:41:33Oh, my God.
00:41:35Oh, my God.
00:41:37Jeez.
00:41:51Stop it!
00:41:52Oh, my God.
00:42:01Topper.
00:42:01What are you doing here?
00:42:03This is Bench Press, our contact.
00:42:05I didn't know.
00:42:07You should know each other?
00:42:08Yes.
00:42:09Yes, we do.
00:42:10It's been a long time.
00:42:13Let's see, the last time we met...
00:42:14It was the Fleurvian Sea.
00:42:17You remember.
00:42:18I remember every detail.
00:42:20The sky was blue.
00:42:22You wore gray.
00:42:23I was in chiffon.
00:42:25Topper.
00:42:26There's so much to say.
00:42:28You're as beautiful as the day you dumped me.
00:42:30You've changed.
00:42:35That beauty mark.
00:42:39It was a...
00:42:40It was a gift.
00:42:42It's all very touching.
00:42:44But this is no time to reminisce.
00:42:46We have to be at the rendezvous point in seven hours, or else we miss our pickup.
00:42:49It's your show hero.
00:42:53Let's move out.
00:42:56Follow me.
00:43:07We're late.
00:43:09I know a shortcut.
00:43:16It's the meat smoking.
00:43:18Shut up.
00:43:19No, no, no.
00:43:19Let's take it off the grill.
00:43:20Leave me alone, would you?
00:43:22Frank, you're drunk again.
00:43:23Oh, yeah?
00:43:23Whose fault is that?
00:43:30This is the best way to the prison compound.
00:43:33They're used to seeing fishing boats, so they won't be suspicious.
00:43:36There are clothes in the wheelhouse.
00:43:40Somebody once wrote,
00:43:41Hell is the impossibility of reason.
00:43:44That's what this place feels like.
00:43:46Hell.
00:43:47I hate it already, and it's only been a few hours.
00:43:51I'm so tired.
00:43:53We get up at five...
00:43:54At first, I thought they'd handed me the wrong dossier.
00:43:57I couldn't believe they wanted this man dead.
00:44:00Third generation West Point, top of his class, Korea, airborne, about a thousand decorations,
00:44:06et cetera, et cetera.
00:44:07I left you in Wall Street.
00:44:13I left you in Wall Street.
00:44:13Satellite reconnaissance indicates an enemy patrol boat has changed course and is heading for our people.
00:44:33Send me alert.
00:44:37Hello, Lucky.
00:44:38Hello, Lucky.
00:44:39Report my signal.
00:44:40Report my signal.
00:44:41Over.
00:44:41Hello, George Mike Walter, strength three.
00:44:44Over.
00:44:45Recon reports.
00:44:46Indians on the warpath in your area.
00:44:48Over.
00:44:49Ain't no Indians around here.
00:44:50Over.
00:44:51Do not take literally.
00:44:52Repeat.
00:44:53Do not take literally.
00:44:54The vultures are circling the carcass.
00:44:56I see a couple of gulls, but I don't...
00:45:02The pit bull is out of the cage.
00:45:03The Crips are raiding the liquor store.
00:45:06Hey, you yanking my crank.
00:45:21If they come by and see a woman, they will know we're masquerading.
00:45:24Only men are allowed to do the fishing.
00:45:26Topper.
00:45:34Why did you have to come here now?
00:45:37Of all the missions and all the jungles and all the world, you had to come walking into this one.
00:45:41Oh, Topper, I tried to stay away.
00:45:43I thought I was never going to see you again.
00:45:45That you were out of my life.
00:45:47But it's a sequel.
00:45:48I had to come.
00:45:49Do you have any idea what the critics will say?
00:45:52Same warmed-over characters?
00:45:53Topper, stop it.
00:45:54You're only using this whole casting thing as an excuse to hide what's really hurting you.
00:46:01Hurts?
00:46:02Maybe once.
00:46:03But I knew this day would come.
00:46:08I knew one day you'd come crawling back, begging for forgiveness, groveling, sniveling, pleading for another chance.
00:46:16Sorry, sweetheart.
00:46:19But this all-day sucker is down to the soggy white stick.
00:46:22No, Topper.
00:46:24You don't understand.
00:46:26I'm married.
00:46:27I was married before you and I ever met.
00:46:30I'm still married today.
00:46:31You're joking.
00:46:32I'm not.
00:46:33You've got to be.
00:46:34Look, if I was joking, I would say, a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, why the long face?
00:46:40You are married.
00:46:43Why didn't you tell me?
00:46:44I thought he was dead.
00:46:46He worked for the government, training pilots for the CIA in Germany, highest security.
00:46:51They told me he was killed over Willenstolen.
00:46:53Then the day before you and I were to go away, I received word he was alive in a hospital in Berlin.
00:46:59I had to go to him.
00:47:01They ordered me not to tell anyone.
00:47:05I know how you must feel.
00:47:07You do, huh?
00:47:09You know how it feels to have your heart shot out of season and strapped to the hood of a car?
00:47:14To be passed like the world's largest kidney stone?
00:47:16Ramada, I don't think so.
00:47:23Patrol, Paul!
00:47:30Remember, we're not American.
00:47:33These boys aren't stupid.
00:47:45Where's Harbinger?
00:47:46Shut off your engine.
00:47:49Shut off your engine.
00:47:51We are coming aboard.
00:47:52Shut up your engine.
00:47:53Shut up your engine.
00:47:55Shut up your engine.
00:47:59Shut up your engine.
00:48:00Shut up your engine.
00:48:03We are coming aboard.
00:48:04Ah, Balkan fire.
00:48:07March deep-ton.
00:48:13The limit's combat.
00:48:16Hmm.
00:48:37Hmm.
00:48:38Hmm.
00:48:44Kareem of Onion!
00:49:08Aldero!
00:49:14Oh man!
00:49:19I'll have to shake the stool a lot!
00:49:35What?
00:49:36What?
00:49:37Safe?
00:49:39Lord!
00:49:40Get out of here!
00:49:42Take that to the bank and cash it!
00:49:49Swim for sure!
00:49:56Save yourself!
00:50:01The biggest incantus!
00:50:02Swim for it!
00:50:03I'll catch up!
00:50:04Go!
00:50:05I'll catch up!
00:50:06Go!
00:50:07I'll catch up!
00:50:08Go!
00:50:10Go!
00:50:11Go!
00:50:12Go!
00:50:13Watch out!
00:50:14Out!
00:50:15Out!
00:50:16Tofu!
00:50:17Ah!
00:50:18Ah!
00:50:20Oh!
00:50:21Ah!
00:50:22Ah!
00:50:23Ah!
00:50:24Ah!
00:50:27Ah!
00:50:28Ah!
00:50:29Ah!
00:50:30Ah!
00:50:32Oh, my Sharif!
00:50:39Oh, my Sharif!
00:51:02Ah ha ha ha!
00:51:05Ah! Ah ha ha!
00:51:07Ah!
00:51:10Woo!
00:51:14Ooooooooooooooo!
00:51:16Ooooooooooooh!
00:51:24Dauper!
00:51:29And in other news,
00:51:30President Benson is returning to
00:51:32Washington today to speak to the nation in what experts are calling the pivotal address of his
00:51:37political career. How is the speech coming, sir? Huh? Oh, I'll pack some my A's. Does this look
00:51:50like an A to you? Yes, sir. All right. What do you got there, Bill? We just received word from
00:51:57Michelle Huddleston. Topper Harley is missing. His boat has been demolished. Oh, every time I give
00:52:04an order, things get screwed up. Plan a reception, they bring the wrong hors d'oeuvres. Point an
00:52:08ambassador, the next thing you know, he leaves the country. Now he is. President, we need a plan.
00:52:13This may be our last chance to get the hostages out. All right. Now, here's where we are, and here
00:52:21is where they are. Jesus. Oh, God. Oh, no time for prayer, Bob. Now, here's the target area. It's
00:52:27Minnesota, sir. Oh, damn it, man. That's the genius of my plan. We don't have to traipse all over the
00:52:32world to fight. We can do it right here at home, getting some good fishing while we're at. Sir,
00:52:35the enemy is over there. Then we'll fly them over here. They can bring their relatives. We'll teach
00:52:40them to ice skate. Do I have to think of everything? But, Mr. President, the hostages, it is imperative
00:52:45that you act now.
00:52:54Topper?
00:53:06Topper! You made it!
00:53:08Topper!
00:53:09Topper!
00:53:10Topper!
00:53:11Topper!
00:53:12二änge
00:53:15Got it, Cindy. It's 23 minutes past the hour, and here's the Buckinghams with Kind
00:53:17of a Dre.
00:53:29You're bleeding.
00:53:30I'll be alright. Here's something else that bothers me a lot more. Carbanger, where where
00:53:35where were you when the patrol boat arrived below sweeping the boat for bombs what are you accusing
00:53:41me of nothing yet but i want you to know i smell a rat don't push me lieutenant before you bagged
00:53:49your first babe i was slitting throats for this country and making a damn good living at it hey
00:53:53look i'm not saying i don't trust you and i'm not saying i do but i don't save it for the enemy we
00:53:59got a job to do oh look i'm cut too oh they got me too it's a real gusher let's get going
00:54:29there's a guard at the gate he's mine wait here
00:54:56topper
00:55:04topper jesus before we go in there i think there's something you should know what now
00:55:11have you heard of dexter hayman freedom finder yeah he won the nobel prize for
00:55:18vetting the artificial appendix exactly dexter is one of the captives he's my husband you've
00:55:26got to be joking if i was joking i would say a rabbi a priest and a minister walk into a bar okay okay
00:55:33he is your husband topper i was so young just a school girl he was an older man so wise in the
00:55:39ways of the world he used to come around the school yard day after day i so admired his persistence
00:55:47even the restraining order that my parents slapped on him wouldn't hold him back he opened my eyes to
00:55:52the arts music clock dancing wrestlemania his work has meant so much to so many and i owe him everything
00:56:00topper everything oh i'm happy for you kid but if you think you can hurt me again you're wrong
00:56:08you're wrong left my heart in my other pants
00:56:26uh
00:56:36uh
00:57:06uh
00:57:29yeah
00:57:34uh
00:57:55uh
00:58:02Let's go.
00:58:32Oh, my God.
00:59:02Oh, my God.
00:59:32Oh, my God.
00:59:42The Iraqi coast.
00:59:44Oh, those bluffs look treacherous.
00:59:48Hadn't counted on that.
00:59:50But if God is on our side, we will rendezvous on Lincoln's wart by noob.
00:59:55That's it, men.
00:59:56We're going in.
01:00:02My rescue mission was underway, but two things kept running through my mind.
01:00:08Would we get to the men in time, and why did I bring helium instead of air?
01:00:13I'll guard the rear.
01:00:28Take the front door.
01:00:29Take the front door.
01:00:59The keys.
01:01:29It's a lie.
01:01:59What?
01:02:09Enough.
01:02:29Oh, man, let's go.
01:02:59Where are the prisoners?
01:03:04Over there.
01:03:05Let's go.
01:03:06I'll take the back gate.
01:03:18Now that's a hell of a gun.
01:03:24Where is Dexter Heyman?
01:03:25Villa, compound 405.
01:03:27Okay, I'm here.
01:03:41Terrorist mountain.
01:03:43It's a small war.
01:03:45Pirates of the Persian Gulf.
01:03:47Hostage mover.
01:03:50Dexter's dungeon.
01:03:51Arbinger, what are you doing here?
01:04:09I was right, wasn't I?
01:04:11You sabotaged all the other missions.
01:04:13I find that totally unacceptable.
01:04:15You got me wrong.
01:04:17All these years, fighting, shooting and killing, I just, I can't go on.
01:04:26I, I.
01:04:28Hey, hey, hey, rainy face.
01:04:31Hey, proud warrior.
01:04:34Let the sun come out, you big bad G.I. Joe.
01:04:38You know, Kitten, we all have permission to make mistakes.
01:04:45It's called learning.
01:04:49You give Uncle Topper a nice big blow.
01:04:54I'm done.
01:05:19I'm done.
01:05:19Attaboy.
01:05:35Thank you, Topper.
01:05:36I can kill again.
01:05:37You've given me a reason to live.
01:05:38Good.
01:05:39Now head for the gate.
01:05:40Plenty of bad guys to shoot along the way.
01:05:42Yeah.
01:05:42It's going and going and going and going.
01:05:57Nothing outlasts me.
01:05:59Oh!
01:06:02Yes!
01:06:03Yes!
01:06:03Too far away!
01:06:31There's a copter pod half a mile from the compound.
01:06:58That's our ticket out.
01:06:59Let's go.
01:06:59We can't leave.
01:07:01Not without Dexter.
01:07:04Topper, watch out!
01:07:05Take that.
01:07:35For a moment there, I thought you were...
01:07:44Gabriela Sabatini.
01:07:46I get that all the time.
01:07:49It must be the nose.
01:07:51The irony is I haven't picked up a racket in years.
01:07:54You saved my life.
01:07:56Topper, no matter what happens, I want you to know that I...
01:08:00I never stop loving you.
01:08:05Let's move out!
01:08:09You're the only one that knows how to get to the copter pod.
01:08:12If I'm up there in 15 minutes, you know what to do.
01:08:14Yeah, we get the hell out of here.
01:08:15No, wait another 15 minutes.
01:08:19We could hear gunfire from the compound.
01:08:22From out of nowhere, a patrol boat appeared overhead.
01:08:26How would we get past the soldiers on that boat?
01:08:29Then, suddenly, it happened.
01:08:35Take care!
01:08:50Guys!
01:09:02Jeez!
01:09:02Whoa!
01:09:03Whoa!
01:09:04That's it!
01:09:05Get it!
01:09:05War.
01:09:20It's fantastic.
01:09:21It's fantastic.
01:09:50You put him out?
01:09:54I'm going with this!
01:09:55I'm going with this TV, no.
01:09:56account.
01:10:09I'm going with this.
01:10:09Drop the gun.
01:10:14Drop the gun.
01:10:20Drop it!
01:10:24You will die, Yankee bastard man.
01:10:27How you say? Like a dog.
01:10:31Now march!
01:10:35March!
01:10:42Now I kill you where you stand, you imperious Yankee doodle dork of a pig.
01:10:49Ah!
01:10:51Ah!
01:10:52Ah!
01:10:57Ah!
01:10:58Ah!
01:10:59Ah!
01:11:00Ah!
01:11:01Ah!
01:11:02Ah!
01:11:03Ah!
01:11:04Ah!
01:11:05Ah!
01:11:11Ah!
01:11:12Flippery rathcone.
01:11:19Ah!
01:11:20Ah!
01:11:21Ah!
01:11:22Ah!
01:11:23Ah!
01:11:24Butcher of Baghdad.
01:11:25Hello?
01:11:26Ah-huh.
01:11:27Ah-huh.
01:11:28Ah-huh.
01:11:29Ah-huh.
01:11:30Ah-huh.
01:11:31Who is it?
01:11:32Who is it?
01:11:33It's your wife, Hillary Rodham Hussain.
01:11:34Jesus, Mary Joseph!
01:11:36I'm so stupid!
01:11:37I was supposed to pick her up at the laundromat!
01:11:39Ah!
01:11:40Tell her I'm at the gym.
01:11:41No, no, no.
01:11:42I'm out of town.
01:11:43On business.
01:11:44Bombing, gassing, last minute execution.
01:11:45Tell her something.
01:11:46Make it up.
01:11:47I'm sorry.
01:11:48You just missed him.
01:11:49Ah!
01:11:50I owe you one.
01:11:52Ah!
01:11:53Ah!
01:11:54Ah!
01:11:55Ah!
01:11:56Ah!
01:11:57Ah!
01:11:58Ah!
01:11:59Ah!
01:12:00Ah!
01:12:01Ah!
01:12:02Ah!
01:12:03Ah!
01:12:04Ah!
01:12:05Ah!
01:12:06Ah!
01:12:07Ah!
01:12:08Ah!
01:12:09Ah!
01:12:10Ah!
01:12:11Ah!
01:12:12Ah!
01:12:13Ah!
01:12:14Ah!
01:12:15Ah!
01:12:16Ah!
01:12:17Ah!
01:12:18Ah!
01:12:19Ah!
01:12:20Ah!
01:12:21Ah!
01:12:22Ah!
01:12:23Ah!
01:12:24Ah!
01:12:25Ah!
01:12:26Ah!
01:12:27Ah!
01:12:28Ah!
01:12:29Ah!
01:12:30Ah!
01:12:31Ah!
01:12:32Ah!
01:12:33Ah!
01:12:34Ah!
01:12:35Ah!
01:12:36Ah!
01:12:37Ah!
01:12:38Ah!
01:12:39Ah!
01:12:40Ah!
01:12:41Ah!
01:12:42Ah!
01:12:43Go on about your business, son.
01:12:45I've got a bone to settle with this guy.
01:12:47Yes, sir. I'll get Dexter.
01:12:49Let's make this a fair fight.
01:12:55I've been waiting for you, oh, big one.
01:12:59We meet at last.
01:13:01The circle is complete.
01:13:03Now, I am the master!
01:13:05Only the master of evil, Sodom!
01:13:07Your powers are...
01:13:09Your powers are weak, old man. You should not have come.
01:13:21Well, I have.
01:13:23We'll settle this the old navy way.
01:13:25First guy to die, loses!
01:13:37Water.
01:13:39Water.
01:13:40Water, please.
01:13:41Water, please.
01:13:43It's locked, from the inside.
01:13:45No!
01:13:46Damn it!
01:13:47We're gonna die! We're all gonna die!
01:13:48Kill a hole of yourself, man!
01:13:49Blow it!
01:13:50It's not our property.
01:13:51Do it!
01:13:52Do it!
01:13:53Go ahead. Shoot. You'll get nothing from me.
01:14:02You are filth.
01:14:04I spit in the face of filth.
01:14:06Dexter, I've come to get you out of here.
01:14:08You're from America?
01:14:09Yes.
01:14:10From America.
01:14:11Let's go.
01:14:12My friend, I yearn for freedom as much as anyone, but I run from no man.
01:14:18You've got to come with me.
01:14:20I can't walk.
01:14:21They...
01:14:22They've tied my shoelaces together.
01:14:26I'm not...
01:14:27You bastards.
01:14:28I'm aborting the mission.
01:14:29Envelope is closed.
01:14:30We're lifting off.
01:14:31There you go. It's forfeit.
01:14:32I didn't think you'd make it.
01:14:33Everybody on board, we're getting out of here.
01:14:34What about the others? We just can't lead them.
01:14:35We just can't lead them.
01:14:36Ah!
01:14:37Ah!
01:14:38Ah!
01:14:39Ah!
01:14:40Ah!
01:14:41Ah!
01:14:42Ah!
01:14:43Ah!
01:14:44I'm aborting the mission. Envelope is closed.
01:14:46We're lifting off.
01:14:50Here you go. It's forfeit.
01:14:53I didn't think you'd make it.
01:14:55Everybody on board, we're getting out of here.
01:14:57What about the others? We just can't leave them.
01:14:59Wait, I... I can't go any further.
01:15:22I'll need a drink.
01:15:29Okay, right a bit. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop.
01:15:32Stop there. Down a bit, down a bit.
01:15:34There.
01:15:35There, it's not very cold.
01:15:37Is this filtered?
01:15:38Their artillery will be down on us in seconds.
01:15:41We have to lift off.
01:15:42No. If we leave now, we'll lose Topper and Dexter.
01:15:45But that has been the idea all along, hasn't it, Michelle?
01:15:52You're looking beautiful as ever, Ramada.
01:15:55How did you know?
01:15:56I didn't.
01:15:57It all came together when I saw you here.
01:16:00I thought back to your inscription in my yearbook.
01:16:03You wrote,
01:16:03Remember all the fun we had in speech class,
01:16:06and I'll fuck up your life if it's the last thing I'll do.
01:16:09And then I realized where I had last seen this.
01:16:21What could I have done to make you so vindictive?
01:16:24For the sake, you gals know each other.
01:16:27Oh, Ramada, how could you have been so blind?
01:16:30You were always too wrapped up in being Miss Perfect College to notice me.
01:16:34Why should you concern yourself with the feelings of one insignificant roommate?
01:16:39One fabulous day.
01:16:41One incredible experience.
01:16:43I had no idea it meant so much to you.
01:16:46I remember that day as though it were yesterday.
01:16:48The exhilaration of experimenting, sharing something so new, so dangerous, so intimate.
01:16:56Go on.
01:16:58And I'll never forget the look on your face.
01:17:01The way the sweat glistened on your hard body.
01:17:05Then you tied my ankles.
01:17:07Tighter.
01:17:08Tighter.
01:17:10But it just wasn't right.
01:17:12It wasn't natural.
01:17:14Bungee jumping is just too dangerous a sport.
01:17:17Bungee jumping?
01:17:18That's it?
01:17:19Michelle, how could you do this?
01:17:21How could you hurt so many innocent people?
01:17:23Oh, Ramada, it was always so easy for you.
01:17:26How could Topper understand?
01:17:29I had Dexter in prison because I wanted you to suffer as much as you made me suffer.
01:17:35You fool.
01:17:35And then, when I discovered I couldn't win Topper's heart because he was still in love with you, I tried to have you all killed.
01:17:47He, he still loves me.
01:17:52You turn your back on America because of your own petty jealousy, you're going to pay for this.
01:18:05Ha ha ha, good doggy!
01:18:30Hello, new sighting.
01:18:31Ten year guarantee.
01:18:32I'll never have to be painted.
01:18:35Ah!
01:18:36Ah!
01:18:36I
01:19:06Do you have any idea where you're going?
01:19:31Ha! You've missed!
01:19:33It'll take more than that to stop me, you devils!
01:19:36Don't jiggle thee!
01:19:38Advil! Mydol! Get over here!
01:19:41To the helicopter!
01:19:42They dicked with the wrong dictator!
01:19:45This means war!
01:19:50You better let me handle this, son.
01:19:54You're so sweaty.
01:19:56I knew you'd make it.
01:19:57It's about time.
01:20:01Michelle.
01:20:02She's our saboteur.
01:20:04Topper, can you get me off the hook for old time's sake?
01:20:07Sorry, precious. No can do.
01:20:09You sold out the greatest country in the world.
01:20:12And to think, I wore your mole.
01:20:15Get her out of here.
01:20:17Dexter?
01:20:18Oh dear, Dexter.
01:20:19Look what they've done to your shoelaces.
01:20:22Oh dear, Dexter.
01:20:23Look what they've done to your shoelaces.
01:20:24Oh my darling.
01:20:25You've no idea what I've just been through.
01:20:27But now we're together again, we have so much to look forward to.
01:20:29I want to do it all.
01:20:30Donahue.
01:20:31Geraldo.
01:20:32Sally Jessie.
01:20:33Oh and who's that black chick here?
01:20:34Oprah.
01:20:35Yes, yes.
01:20:36Her too.
01:20:37Let's go!
01:20:38It's getting hot here.
01:20:39You go ahead.
01:20:40We're going back to the President.
01:20:41Donahue.
01:20:42I don't care what I've just been through.
01:20:43But now we're together again, we have so much to look forward to.
01:20:46I want to do it all.
01:20:47Donahue.
01:20:48Geraldo.
01:20:49Sally Jessie.
01:20:50Oh and who's that black chick here?
01:20:52Oprah.
01:20:53Yes, yes.
01:20:54Her too.
01:20:55Let's go!
01:20:56It's getting hot here.
01:20:57You go ahead.
01:20:58I'm going back to the President.
01:20:59Topper.
01:21:00I thought it over.
01:21:01I'm staying here with you.
01:21:02No you're not.
01:21:03You're getting on that copter with Dexter, where you belong.
01:21:04Why?
01:21:05I thought you loved me.
01:21:06Romana, I do love you.
01:21:07I've tried to forget you, but no matter what I do, your face is always on the tip of
01:21:10my tongue.
01:21:11And let me stay with you.
01:21:12Romana, I want to be with you.
01:21:13I want to hold you.
01:21:14I want to meet your parents and pet your dog.
01:21:15My parents are dead topper.
01:21:16My dog hates them.
01:21:17I'm sorry.
01:21:18We both know you belong with Dexter.
01:21:19You're part of this work, the thing that keeps him going.
01:21:20I'm no good at being noble, but I'm not even guilty.
01:21:21I'm sorry.
01:21:22I don't know who you are.
01:21:23I'm not.
01:21:24You're not in a place, but I'm sorry.
01:21:25I'm sorry.
01:21:26I'm not in a place.
01:21:27I'm sorry.
01:21:28I'm sorry.
01:21:29I'm sorry.
01:21:30I'm sorry.
01:21:31I'm sorry.
01:21:32I'm sorry.
01:21:33I'm sorry.
01:21:34I'm sorry.
01:21:35I'm sorry.
01:21:36I'm sorry.
01:21:37I'm sorry.
01:21:38I'm sorry.
01:21:42but do you have any idea what would happen if you stay here with me?
01:21:45Of course I do.
01:21:47Sex.
01:21:49Wild, free, passionate, unbridled sex.
01:21:52I would fondle you in ways you can't imagine.
01:21:54I would pleasure you at any time, in any place, in any way.
01:21:58For as long as you could possibly desire.
01:22:09Anybody get going?
01:22:11You missed your takeoff.
01:22:12Goodbye, Topper.
01:22:17God bless you.
01:22:18Wait a second.
01:22:20Let me get a shot of you two.
01:22:22It'll be a great visual for the talk shows.
01:22:24Let's just frame this up.
01:22:25Closer together.
01:22:27Come on, don't be shy.
01:22:29Put your arm around her.
01:22:31I've almost got it.
01:22:32This is a great shot.
01:22:34My God, you're gonna love this.
01:22:37You know, under other circumstances, you'd make a great couple.
01:22:41Oh, hello.
01:22:43Say, G.
01:22:45You're moving too much.
01:22:47Quit spinning.
01:22:48This will make me rich and...
01:22:50He really was a wiener.
01:22:53Don't get me started.
01:22:55Hold it there!
01:22:57Hold it!
01:22:59This buggy going to America?
01:23:02Mr. President, I was afraid we may have lost you.
01:23:04Lost me, huh?
01:23:05Not a chance.
01:23:05I shove over you guys.
01:23:06I got dips in a window seat.
01:23:08Get in my sights.
01:23:16Just a second.
01:23:17This is personal.
01:23:22We're too heavy.
01:23:23We need to lose some weight.
01:23:25One can have a dream, baby.
01:23:48Two can make that dream so real.
01:23:51One can talk about being in love.
01:23:54Two can say how it's really true.
01:23:57It takes two, baby.
01:24:00It takes two, baby.
01:24:03Make a dream come true.
01:24:06Just take two.
01:24:08One can have a broken heart living in the misery.
01:24:17Two can really ease the pain like a perfect remedy.
01:24:23One can be alone in the fall like an island he's all alone.
01:24:29Two can make a jumper in that place seem just like being home.
01:24:35It takes two, baby.
01:24:37It takes two, baby.
01:24:38It takes two, baby.
01:24:41Me and you.
01:24:45Just take two.
01:24:46One can go out to a movie looking for a special treat.
01:25:13Two can make that single movie something really kind of sweet.
01:25:20Yeah, one can take a walk in the moon by thinking that it's really nice.
01:25:27But two walk in the hand in hand is like adding just a pinch of spice.
01:25:32Yeah, it takes two, baby.
01:25:34Yeah, it takes two, baby.
01:25:35Yeah, it takes two, baby.
01:25:36It takes two, baby.
01:25:39Me and you.
01:25:42Just take two.
01:25:45It takes two, baby.
01:25:48It takes two, baby.
01:25:51To make a dream come true.
01:25:53To make a dream come true.
01:26:10To make a dream come true.
01:28:23Hot Chats Part 2 was filmed in Hollywood in front of a live studio audience.

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