- 2 days ago
When Dreamer meets Teddy, she sees a broken young man. She hopes her love will change him. Instead, he returns her love with fear, cruelty and control. After her father tries to help her escape his clutches, Teddy makes them pay a terrible price.
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00:00The one thing that I was afraid of for those five and a half years became my
00:09reality that day and I think that's also just still hard to grasp. He had reached
00:18his limit of ways he could hurt me and I think he was desperate and didn't know
00:24what else to do and I think he did that because he knew that that was my worst
00:30nightmare. I don't know I just...
00:54It does make me feel guilty just because it's just really just a simple fact I
01:03think what if I just never took him seriously.
01:07I hold a lot of that guilt on myself and it's been...
01:14I'm sorry.
01:24I'm sorry.
01:31I'm sorry.
01:41I'm sorry.
01:48This is me and Teddy, and that was my real first relationship, first person that I fell
02:11in love with. But this is not a happy memory. I actually remember this day, and I was kind
02:22of leaning away from him because this was not too long after one of the times that he
02:27actually put his hands on me. I just look so uncomfortable. I'm just not happy at all.
02:41And he was trying to overcompensate for that by being more affectionate. And I think I just
02:51was so naive at that point in life that I just kind of took it to the extreme, and I didn't
02:56realize how broken he was. And the fact that a 17, 18-year-old girl at that point could
03:02not fix that. If I could change bringing Teddy into my life, I would do anything to change
03:08that. And now that I realize that, it's like, damn, like, sorry.
03:38Oh, this is my high school graduation photo. My grandma, she came from D.C., so my dad
03:55was really happy. My sisters came, my mom. This is probably one of his proudest days. I
04:04can kind of even see it just on his face. I did graduate with honors. I had a 3.9. So
04:13I got, like, a special cord for my ROTC achievements also. And then I was part of one of our, like,
04:19school clubs for our academics, so I also got a cord for that one. So they were, yeah, they
04:26were really, really proud this day. I'm like, wow, this is great. I'm finally, like, I made
04:33it. I love my dad so much. He was just, like, the rock of our family. He would randomly throughout
04:45the week, we would go play basketball. But after a while, I started to get better. So he's like,
04:51okay, I'm going to take you and we're going to play, but I'm going to, like, watch from
04:55over here. And he would just show me little things. Like, he showed me how to change an
05:00oil filter, how to change my own oil, how to change a tire. He would always tell us, like,
05:05if I'm ever not here, you know, I want to make sure that you'll be able to take care of yourself
05:09and do these things. He always sacrificed for us. For me, my mom, my sisters, our whole family,
05:17really anybody he cared about, he sacrificed so much.
05:22It was very disappointing for me to have to leave the Air Force Academy. I was very hurt.
05:44Like, I was, like, heartbroken. I called my parents from Colorado crying. They gave me the
05:49opportunity to leave, go home, and come back and, you know, just restart next year with
05:53the next class. But then that summer is when me and Teddy started dating. When I first realized
06:02my feelings towards Teddy, there were definitely the butterflies and just little things that,
06:07you know, anything new that he might say or do would, you know, just make me feel, I don't
06:12know, like just butterflies, I guess. So it was good at first.
06:21It's almost like Teddy was, like, an outcast in his family. They just didn't treat him like
06:28my family treats each other. It made me feel bad. It made me feel like, you know, anytime
06:33someone needs help, I just want to help. So when I saw him, you know, having these family issues,
06:38I'm like, okay, maybe I can help. Something that I thought would be a good thing backfired.
06:46I think it makes me so emotional because I just wish I could go back to that time.
06:51That was, like, such a pivotal point. I feel like if I would have just made one different
06:57decision that maybe everything that happened with Teddy wouldn't have happened.
07:17One day, I remember my dad had told me that he saw Teddy at a fast food restaurant.
07:22He walked into the restaurant. He saw Teddy. He was there with another female.
07:27They were holding hands. This was maybe about six months or so after I had told my parents
07:35that me and Teddy were dating. So I did ask Teddy about the whole girl at the fast food restaurant.
07:42And, of course, he claimed that it was just his friend. He gave me this whole speech.
07:48And, you know, you're the only person I want to be with.
07:52It was kind of like a love bombing of words.
07:56I covered for Teddy so many times, especially, you know, I tried to do everything I could
08:01to make him not look like the type of person that he was cruelly showing everyone he was.
08:08I didn't want to accept the fact that the person that I thought I was in love with at the time
08:14was possibly doing something wrong.
08:33Teddy had got in a few fights before we met.
08:35So I just heard, you know, about how he could be a little confrontational.
08:39And I think I definitely should have paid that more attention.
08:42But I didn't see it as necessarily a red flag at that time.
08:48I remember this night, me and Teddy, we were with a bunch of friends.
08:52And there was this guy just being overly pushy.
08:55Yo, what's up?
08:58He was just like, what's, you know, what's your number?
09:00What's your name?
09:01And just not letting it go when we ignored him.
09:03I just want to know your name.
09:05Teddy zooms over and he's like, what's up?
09:07Like, you messing with my girlfriend?
09:10So they get into it.
09:11Teddy just hit him one time and knocked him out.
09:14Everybody was just like this whole big thing.
09:20Everybody's like, oh my gosh.
09:22That was the first time I saw him hurt somebody.
09:27And I feel like at that moment in time, I'm like, okay, maybe your bad reputation could,
09:34you know, protect me somehow.
09:37Like, he's a protector kind of person.
09:39So in my mind, I'm thinking like, okay, maybe this is like my dad.
09:44I thought, okay, maybe I can help him change.
09:49I see these bad things, but that doesn't mean you have to be a bad person forever.
09:54Because now that I'm older, I'm like, okay, you could have deescalated that situation differently.
09:59I definitely should have taken that as a red flag.
10:02I think back then I thought of it as, you know, this like grand thing that you've done for me.
10:08Like, oh, you protected me.
10:09Like, oh, wow.
10:11Like how, you know, but now it's, it's, it was, it was kind of almost a form of control.
10:17I feel like, um, kind of using that situation to make me feel safe, even though I wasn't really safe with him.
10:25When we first started dating, Teddy had got in a few fights.
10:37You know, just some negative situations back then.
10:40At that point, his temper, nothing had got better.
10:43We were starting to argue here and there.
10:46And yeah, my parents found out a couple of times about the altercations I got in, um, because of Teddy.
10:53And you know, they were upset and I was, you know, I was disappointed in myself.
10:57That's when it just really started to be like, okay, this isn't what I thought it was going to be.
11:01I broke up with him and I started dating someone else.
11:05I went to a party one night with, uh, the guy that I started, um, you know, recently talking to after I cut Teddy off.
11:16The next thing I hear, someone's like, oh, Teddy's outside.
11:20In my mind, like, maybe he's, maybe it's a coincidence.
11:25But then they're like, he's not just, like, outside chilling. Like, he's outside with a bat.
11:30Me and my, a couple of my homegirls, you know, walked over to Teddy and were like, you know, what are you doing?
11:38Like, what's, what's all this about?
11:40What are you doing here?
11:41I came here to get you. We're leaving.
11:45Teddy basically told me I'm leaving with him.
11:48He was coming there to show either me or the new guy I was trying to talk to that, like, oh, you can't have her type of thing.
11:56And I'm like, oh my God, she's coming here and he's going to beat up the guy that I just started talking to for no reason.
12:03Try to school.
12:04Why don't you?
12:05He's a dead man.
12:06Either I get in the car or it's going to be some sort of altercation.
12:11This is what's going to satisfy him. Let me just do it.
12:15Okay. Okay. Come on.
12:18It was scary at the time. He like begged and pleaded, please talk to me, you know, we can make it work.
12:28It was almost like an apology, but almost like a, you have no choice but to forgive me and take me back.
12:35I ended up leaving with him that night. We talked and I decided to take him back.
12:40You know, I believed the things he told me about how he would change and what he would change.
12:45I saw the things that were wrong, but I didn't think that it would become an aggression towards me.
12:52He was so, you know, already into controlling me that I, there was nothing else I could do to leave him alone.
13:00That probably wouldn't have resulted in something bad happening.
13:03So yes, it's a lot of weight to carry and I need to release it somehow, but it's easier said than done.
13:22The whole reasoning behind moving to Greenville with Teddy was to try to get him away from all the bad things that he was doing.
13:35I just felt like he has so much more potential.
13:39When we first moved in together, it was good, but then things changed after that.
13:44One day we were kind of in the common area of the house and just going back and forth arguing.
13:51It was kind of just a regular argument, but I said something and he just kind of came rushing at me.
14:00That's at that point when he pushed me down and started choking me on the floor.
14:08I'm like, what's going on?
14:14I couldn't really fight back.
14:19It just happened so fast and I, you know, look at him in his face.
14:24It's just, it's anger.
14:28It doesn't look like he's in control.
14:33He would call me a bitch or, you know, you or just anything that he could to degrade me as much as possible in that moment.
14:43And then I also thought, you know, if you try to fight back, he might hurt you even worse.
14:50So I just, just kind of let it happen and just waited for it to be over.
15:02Probably held me down for at least 15 seconds long enough to where I literally had no air left in my lungs.
15:09I thought, okay, I'm about to pass out.
15:11And that's when he released me and we kind of, I sat there for a while.
15:16I didn't move.
15:21I just never experienced so much hate from someone before.
15:26Just the feeling that I felt in that moment when it was actually happening.
15:30Like, I could feel, like, hatred.
15:34I'm like, and my mama, I could have just died.
15:38By the time he did come back, he, like, helped me get up and brought me, like, some water.
15:43And he was very apologetic.
15:45He was crying.
15:47So I think it was just, just him trying to persuade me that he was so sorry that it wouldn't happen again.
15:55He knew I had a good heart and he used that to his advantage.
16:01And I didn't want to call and tell my parents because I thought, you know, oh, this is only one time.
16:09And if I call the police on him, we'll never be together again.
16:12I just tried to keep it between us and protect him yet again.
16:17I thought, okay, this was just a mistake.
16:19I didn't die.
16:20It's okay.
16:21It'll be okay.
16:22It's kind of what I told myself.
16:23And not knowing that this is going to become, like, a whole thing at that point.
16:31They told us that they would be searching the house.
16:45At that time, Teddy was dealing with, like, different things with, like, people's bank accounts.
16:51And he had the credit cards that weren't in his name.
16:55They ended up first arresting Teddy.
16:58I was arrested for possession of stolen goods since the credit cards that Teddy had were actually in my room.
17:05At that moment, that's when it kind of really hit me, like, what is going on?
17:13I'm like, this is not how my life was supposed to turn out.
17:16I'm like, I did everything, you know, growing up just to make sure that this moment didn't happen.
17:22It kind of was like a reality check.
17:25And it made me really look at Teddy like, okay, is this, is it you?
17:30Like, are you the reason why these bad things are happening to me?
17:33I've never had this happen before.
17:35The only thing I was worried about was how disappointed my parents were going to be.
17:48That next day, my parents were supposed to be driving to come to this, like, really big, like, honors award ceremony at ECU.
17:55Like, you guys are supposed to be picking me up to go to this ceremony.
18:00And instead, you're picking me up from the county jail.
18:06It really put things, I think, into perspective for me at that point.
18:10I was definitely ashamed.
18:12I was embarrassed.
18:16My dad blamed Teddy for the arrest because I never had a history of getting into trouble
18:23or really just doing anything wrong.
18:26He felt like, had I not been with Teddy, my life would have been taking a different turn at that point.
18:33I saw something in him that I wanted him to see in himself.
18:36And instead of me changing him into that person that I thought he could become,
18:41it's like he slowly started changing me into the person that he wanted me to be
18:46and the person, really, that he was.
18:53Teddy ended up getting six months that he had to serve in jail.
18:58And I got about 18 months of probation.
19:06Honestly, once he went to jail, I moved back with my parents.
19:11So my dad, he definitely was just supportive, you know, no matter what.
19:18At the same time that he's like, you know, consoling me, like giving me a hug, like, oh, it's okay.
19:23He's also telling me like, okay, it's okay, but you need to figure out what you're going to do.
19:28So it was like, you know, I'm like, okay, now I need to figure out the next step.
19:33Kind of saw how life could be without Teddy.
19:38And it was actually a lot better.
19:40So I just saw a lot of positive changes.
19:42And as soon as he got back out, everything just went back downhill again.
19:47So this is when we went out one of those times to the country.
20:13And I didn't really think anything of it at that time.
20:18But after putting it into perspective, it's like, what were you practicing for?
20:23He always made sure he had a gun from the time that we first started dating.
20:29He was actually very insecure.
20:31Probably the most insecure person I ever met.
20:37He did like to come off as like the tough guy.
20:40I think that he thought that that made him look like a, like macho man or like the cool dude.
20:47And the guns didn't make me nervous until close to the end.
20:52Right after that time, after Teddy got out of jail, we were starting to argue here and there.
21:10All the negative things were really starting to kind of show themselves more.
21:15We got him to an argument.
21:18Probably again, something minor.
21:20He tried to push my head into the trash can.
21:24It was just bleeding as soon as he did it.
21:29And instead of him, you know, are you okay?
21:33Or give me a towel or anything.
21:37He went to the room and like started packing his stuff and panicking.
21:42And meanwhile, I'm just, you know, sitting on the floor bleeding.
21:48He was more concerned with himself getting in trouble than the fact that he just gashed my head open.
21:53This photo is probably a day or two after the day that Teddy bashed my head into the kitchen counter.
22:10So that's the scar and I had to get like five stitches.
22:14It wasn't like a direct, like, don't tell anybody.
22:20It was more so like him putting it into the scenario of,
22:24well, if you tell somebody, I'm going to go to jail.
22:27I'm going to get in trouble.
22:29He knows how much I care.
22:30So instead of him saying, oh, don't tell on me because this or that,
22:33he's making me feel like I would be the one holding him back if I told on him.
22:38It's like he was playing this mind game because he knew I wanted the best for him.
22:45You know, he was a master manipulator.
22:50So when my mom asked what happened to my forehead,
22:53I actually told her that I slipped on a rug in the kitchen and I fell and I hit my head.
22:58And that was kind of the story.
23:01She didn't believe it because she knows that I was an athlete my whole life
23:05and I never really had clumsy spells where I just tripped or fell.
23:12It just solidified exactly what I already said in my head,
23:15that this will never work.
23:17I have to find a way out.
23:25Like the main kind of argument when it's a domestic violence relationship is,
23:29oh, why didn't you just leave?
23:32And it's just, it's really not that easy.
23:34You can literally just take your feet and walk away.
23:37But who's to say that once you do that,
23:39that that person's actually going to leave you alone.
23:42But you never know what might be around that corner.
23:47I had this gut feeling that the day you try to leave him,
23:50he's going to find a way to hurt you even worse.
23:55And he's going to knock on my mom's door and then he's going to shoot my mom
23:58and then he's going to knock on my sister's door and shoot her and all my nieces and nephews and my other sister.
24:03That was, that was literally what played out in my head of what would happen if I left him.
24:09So, I'm just like, to avoid all that, I'll just stay and deal with whatever it is that he may do
24:18because that's better than what I in my gut feel like the outcome is going to be.
24:23After that incident, my parents really noticed what all had been going on.
24:44So, at that point, that's when, you know, my dad was like, no, he can't, you know, he can't do this.
24:49And I want to, you know, go forward with pressing charges, but I didn't want to leave him.
24:56But there was nothing that my dad could actually do.
25:00So, he did try, but me being of age, you can't really, you know, call for somebody else.
25:07So, it was just kind of like he felt helpless.
25:10So, one day, we were at the townhouse.
25:21Somebody knocked on our door.
25:23The police officer came to me and Teddy's townhouse.
25:28Teddy was like, why, why is the police here?
25:31He was very paranoid and I kind of went into like a panic because Teddy, mind you, is right there with both of his guns.
25:44Like he always does when he doesn't know who somebody is that comes to the house.
25:48He has both of his guns in his hand.
25:50And I walked out the door and the cop, he has no idea.
25:54Hi, ma'am.
25:56And I'm just panicking, kind of trying to figure out how to get rid of the cop without telling him that Teddy is standing behind the door with a gun.
26:07Well, you know, your dad wanted me to come and check on you.
26:10So, I was like, uh-huh.
26:11I'm like, yes, I'm fine.
26:12I'm fine.
26:13Everything's fine.
26:14And then he kind of, I think he could kind of feel that I was trying to be short and rush the conversation.
26:23In that moment, when I was talking to the cop, I was convinced that Teddy would shoot him right then and there and not care at all.
26:30Just, just to, just to save himself.
26:35I just kept assuring him everything's okay.
26:38Okay.
26:41You know, eventually he ended up leaving.
26:45I just knew it couldn't last but so much longer.
26:48After five years of lying to people about what you've been doing and all these things, and it seems like everything is trying to come to light, I felt like.
26:58I'm like, okay, my parents know.
26:59I'm like, okay, the police came by.
27:01So, I'm like, okay, maybe this is the time where I need to finally figure out how to leave him alone.
27:08But it was, it was just no more rope left at that point.
27:14I was like, okay, you're just, that's just you.
27:15I'm like, that's your personality.
27:16I'm like, you like it?
27:17I love it.
27:18I love it.
27:19I love it.
27:20I love it.
27:21I love it.
27:22I love it.
27:23Aw.
27:24This is Fat Boy.
27:26This is our puppy that we got.
27:29And yeah, I love Fat Boy.
27:31He was cool.
27:33He was a really good dog.
27:34He didn't, he didn't really do much.
27:36But I was like, okay, you're just, that's just you.
27:41I'm like, that's your personality.
27:43I'm like, you like it?
27:44I love it.
27:47When we went and got the dog, you know, it was Teddy's idea.
27:49He was in love.
27:50I was in love.
27:51But as time faded, a couple months went by and he just started to treat Fat Boy different.
27:59He wouldn't feed him.
28:02He would actually beat the dog.
28:06He, you know, eventually ended up killing him.
28:14After probably 30 minutes or so after I saw Fat Boy, I cried.
28:18I went upstairs and cried first.
28:20I didn't want to watch him bury Fat Boy.
28:22So I ended up just leaving the house for the day.
28:24So I didn't have to watch that.
28:29And when I got back, he just acted like nothing happened.
28:32Like everything was normal and just go on about life.
28:35So he saw that I had something else that I cared about and it wasn't him.
28:43And he got jealous, you know, even though it's a dog, he got jealous of the dog.
28:49And it made me a lot more fearful of him and the things that he would be capable of.
28:54I used to watch a lot of crime stuff.
28:57And they always said that, you know, people that have these real issues, they start off with animals.
29:06That stuck in my head that he was kind of on a pathway to more than an animal.
29:13And it did scare me.
29:14I looked at him completely different.
29:15I think that the thing that I asked for the most was to just be able to safely get away from him.
29:27And my family also, and I could never see a way, no matter how many different scenarios I would put together in my head.
29:42No matter how many different ways I would think of how to possibly leave him.
29:57It always ended with him hurting somebody that I cared about.
30:02I was more okay with something happening to me than something happening to my family.
30:09I didn't want the person that I brought into their life to hurt them.
30:14So right around the beginning of 2020, after everything happened with Fatboy, me and Teddy broke up.
30:29So there was one time me and Teddy were actually arguing and he again choked me.
30:47To the point where I had, you know, bruises around my neck from his hands and then my face was purple and blue blotchy.
30:54And then he takes the broomstick and starts beating me with the broom.
31:07After that, I got up and I started packing my stuff.
31:10You get your ass up here!
31:12He screamed at me to come upstairs.
31:15And something just went off in my head like, don't go upstairs.
31:19I don't know why, I'm just like, no.
31:21I'm like, I'm not, I'm not coming upstairs.
31:23Dreamer!
31:25I'm like, okay, yeah, he's about to get his gun and he's about to come down here and kill me.
31:30This is what I was thinking and the only way I thought I was going to make it out of the house is just by turning around, going out the front door and making a run for it.
31:38Where are you?
31:40It was just this overwhelming feeling.
31:42Just don't talk to him, don't say anything, just run.
31:46And that's what I did.
31:47Dreamer!
31:48When I finally make it out of the house, I've made it far enough out of his eyesight to where I can now call somebody to come and pick me up and I can get away from him.
32:02Dreamer! Dream!
32:05A little bit of time goes by, I call my dad, I tell him, you know, what happened.
32:13And he said immediately, he's like, I'm on the way, where are you at?
32:16I started to hear Teddy's car.
32:21I would just kind of try to duck or move to the side or see if I could see him and position myself to where he can't see me.
32:35So I did hide all the way until, you know, my dad made it to me.
32:40I get in the car.
32:44We pull off.
32:46He was just here.
32:47We gotta go.
32:49We probably didn't make it like 500 feet.
32:54We make a right and Teddy is coming.
32:58That's him!
33:00Teddy literally swerves into our lane head on.
33:04So we hit each other head on.
33:05And I am looking at him in this moment when our cars are just literally touching like this.
33:13And I look at him and I say, what the are you doing? Stop!
33:19He didn't stop.
33:22And in that moment, I saw him pop his trunk and I told my dad he has a gun.
33:27Teddy had already got out of his car with his rifle knowing what he was about to do.
33:46I did get out of the car to try to run and stop him, but I couldn't make it to him fast enough.
33:55And he shot my dad.
33:58And at that point, when I did run around the car towards Teddy, he actually stopped shooting at my dad for a second and pointed at me.
34:23You know, I looked at him and he didn't shoot me.
34:27He just went back to shooting at my dad.
34:31By the time I got to him, I grabbed it and it's like he just kind of snapped out of it.
34:40I didn't really think about it.
34:46You know, it was my first instinct was just save my dad.
34:51Save my dad.
34:52Dad?
34:54Dad?
34:55Dad?
34:56Dad, come on, stay with me.
34:58At that point, I'm thinking that, you know, there's still some chance that he would be alive.
35:05I love you.
35:07Dad!
35:08I did actually hear my dad take his last breath.
35:13I told him I loved him, and that's when I heard, like, the last sound.
35:19Like, he was trying to say it back, but he couldn't.
35:22And that was, that was it.
35:27I was just screaming at the top of my lungs.
35:31I was just in shock.
35:32I didn't really understand what had just happened.
35:36And Teddy, he asked me if I would take $100,000 to, to, to tell the police that he was protecting himself against my dad.
35:53The audacity you must have to say something like that to somebody after what you just did,
35:59leads me to believe even more just how evil he is.
36:03Because how, how could you do that to somebody and then turn around and, and make it seem like money could fix that?
36:14I could only think about one thing at that point.
36:18And that was the fact that my dad was sitting there lifeless because of him.
36:23I've been trying to make it make sense and no matter what I come up with or why he did it, it just,
36:36it doesn't make sense.
36:37And if you want it to hurt me, why didn't you shoot me too?
36:53So this is Teddy, four years after being arrested.
37:07He just, the nothingness, the soullessness is still there.
37:12I know for a fact he's not coping well in prison.
37:16I've actually spoken to people that have seen him in prison and he's not doing good.
37:23I'm not afraid of what's going to happen when he gets out of prison in 35 years,
37:27but he should be afraid of what's going to happen when he gets out of prison.
37:30This is me and my dad when I was probably, I was probably in like fifth grade.
37:39We went out to DC.
37:40We would just go random places sometimes, like without really anything to do or any plan.
37:45Yeah, he was, he was a very caring person just in general.
37:48And I guess maybe that's where I get it from.
37:49My dad did everything he could to, to protect me, my sisters, my mom.
37:53He, if he was given the opportunity to know what the outcome would be, he would do it again.
37:59You know, he was just, he was fearless.
38:06You know, he was just, he was fearless.
38:13So this is my dad.
38:14um,
38:28My dad.
38:33So this is my dad.
38:43We got him cremated.
38:45This was his wishes.
38:46You know, he always said that he didn't want to be buried in the ground.
38:50So, um, sorry.
39:03Um, he always said he didn't want to be in the ground, and he was always that person
39:09that liked to be different places and, you know, moving around and stuff.
39:15So we, uh, we promised him that one day we would get his ashes spread all over the world,
39:22and, and we, you know, piece by piece, we've been doing that.
39:27Um, so that's, that's what we did, and just like with our necklaces, um, like right now
39:35he's in, he's in Texas, he's in Georgia, he's in North Carolina, he's, he's everywhere right
39:41now, so I think he's somewhere sitting, watching me right now, so.
39:47So this is another little urn, um, so we put some of his ashes in here, so if we just
40:04want to, you know, take him with us, if we go somewhere that can't take, you know, all
40:09of him, um, we can always take our little, our little urn, so we always have him with us.
40:17Yeah, definitely my, my guardian angel now.
40:22I just feel that he's always with me, like it just gives me motivation to, to do things
40:30I probably wouldn't have done, and I know that that's, that's him.
40:36I do still talk to my dad all the time.
40:39Whenever something, I have like a good accomplishment, I'll like, like dad, guess what, like, this
40:45just happened, or if I'm really, probably especially when I'm sad, you know, I'll, I'll definitely
40:50always just make sure I say something to him.
40:54Even when I'm just feeling okay, I'll just sometimes just talk to him.
40:57And I know he's, he's listening.
41:01This is Teresa.
41:15She looks scary.
41:18This woman had no emotion for me, her child.
41:22She was ripping my innocence away from me and using it against me.
41:26If my own mother couldn't love me, then who could?
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