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The Baby Snooks Show was an American radio program starring comedian and Ziegfeld Follies alumna Fanny Brice as a mischievous young girl who was 40 years younger than the actress who played her when she first went on the air.
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00:00Well, it looks as though Daddy, played by Hanley Stafford, might get rich.
00:10He has discovered a notice in the newspaper calling for the missing heirs of a rich man
00:14by the name of Higgins, and Daddy thinks he may be related.
00:17So right now, we find him hard at work trying to trace his family tree.
00:21Listen.
00:22Ah.
00:23I have no idea my family went that far back.
00:26Now, if I can only prove a claim to the old man's fortune...
00:30Oh, boy.
00:30Hello, Daddy.
00:32Oh, Snooks, you should be in bed.
00:34What are you doing, Daddy?
00:35I'm looking at some books on genealogy.
00:37Jimmy who?
00:38Not Jimmy.
00:40Genealogy.
00:41Geneia birth, ology, discourse.
00:43It's taken from the Greek.
00:45Which Greek?
00:46Any Greek.
00:47Parky carcass?
00:49Now, what's parky carcass got to do with this?
00:51I don't know.
00:53Genealogy is an account or history of the descent of a person or family from an ancestor.
00:57I'm looking up my family tree.
00:59Why?
01:00To find my origin.
01:02Is it an orange tree?
01:04Not orange tree.
01:05I said origin.
01:06Origin.
01:06Understand?
01:08Understand.
01:09So what did I say?
01:11Oranges.
01:12All right.
01:13So I said oranges.
01:14Now, go to bed.
01:15I want an orange.
01:16You can't have any oranges.
01:18Will you go to bed?
01:18Let me finish my work.
01:20What's in the books, Daddy?
01:21I just told you.
01:23It's the history of all the Higginses.
01:25It tells about my forefathers.
01:27Did you have forefathers?
01:29Why, certainly.
01:31Did you have four mothers, too?
01:33No, I didn't have four mothers.
01:34I had one mother.
01:36Did they all live together?
01:38Who?
01:40Your one mother and your forefathers.
01:42My mother had nothing to do with my forefathers.
01:45Didn't she like them?
01:46Certainly she liked them.
01:47Then why didn't she have nothing to do with them?
01:50She never met them.
01:51When I say forefathers, I don't mean forefathers.
01:57Nobody has forefathers.
01:58But everybody has forefathers.
01:59They don't have to be a father at all.
02:02You feel all right, Daddy?
02:03I knew that was funny.
02:06Don't ask me to explain anything else.
02:09Why?
02:10Because you never listen to anything I tell you.
02:11I'll listen, Daddy.
02:13Well, it's very simple.
02:14The forefathers I'm referring to are my ancestors.
02:19They all bore the name of Higgins, and they were my progenitors.
02:22Savvy?
02:22Savvy.
02:23Thank heaven.
02:25You had forefathers, and they were all genitors.
02:29That's fine.
02:30Now you're going to bed.
02:31Good night.
02:31Good night.
02:32I'm staying here.
02:33Look here, Snokes.
02:36Now, listen.
02:36This work I'm doing tonight may mean an awful lot to you.
02:39Why?
02:40Because if I can prove I'm related to a certain man, we'll be rich.
02:44Which man?
02:45An eccentric millionaire who died two weeks ago.
02:49His name was Lockstep Higgins.
02:51Lockstep Higgins?
02:52That's right.
02:54It's a very odd first name, and that's the one thing that leads me to believe he's a kinsman.
02:58Why?
02:58Well, it's a characteristic trait of our family to give unique first names.
03:02That explains your uncle, Camembert, and your little brother, Ropespear.
03:08What explains me?
03:11The less said, the better.
03:13Anyway, the name seems to be a clue.
03:15What's your name, Daddy?
03:16Oh, you know my name, Snokes.
03:18Now, right out.
03:19You do, too.
03:19What does Mother call me?
03:21Pinhead.
03:22She does not.
03:24Don't remind me of it.
03:26My name happens to be the only departure from the list of curious names in our family.
03:30Tell me your name, Daddy.
03:32It's Lancelot Bottlecap Higgins.
03:34And you needn't act as if you didn't know.
03:37I knew the Lancelot, but I didn't know about Bottlecap.
03:41Well, I don't use my middle name very often.
03:45I like it.
03:47Bottlecap, Bottlecap.
03:48Where have you been?
03:50I've been to...
03:51All right, all right.
03:53Now, the main thing is to try and get a portion of the old man's money.
03:56It's over five million dollars.
03:57How do you know?
03:58He left a will.
04:00Will Higgins?
04:01No.
04:02Will.
04:02Last will and testament.
04:04It's a paper you signed that allows somebody to get all the money you've made.
04:08Did you sign a will with money?
04:10What do you mean?
04:11Well, if you take the salary...
04:12I know, I know.
04:15I haven't seen the inside of my pay envelope for nine years.
04:17Like being married to an installment company.
04:20Huh?
04:20Nothing.
04:21But wait till I get my hands on this dough.
04:23Are you going to get it, Daddy?
04:25I don't know.
04:26I haven't been able to trace any family connection with this lockstep Higgins yet.
04:30I'll help you look.
04:31I've been all through my side of the family.
04:33Mm-hmm.
04:33Now I'm going to find out what's on mother's side.
04:35I know what's on mother's side, Daddy.
04:37Oh, what?
04:38A mustard plaster.
04:40I seen the pudding there.
04:41I'm not talking about that at all.
04:43I've got to look through her lineage.
04:46The clean ones?
04:47Oh.
04:49Hand me those papers.
04:51What's in this big book, Daddy?
04:53That's an old family album.
04:55Well, let me see it.
04:55There might be something in it.
04:57Let me see it.
04:58Yeah.
05:00Look at the funny pictures.
05:02Oh, what's funny about them?
05:03Mm-hmm.
05:04They're just wearing old-fashioned clothes, that's all.
05:06But you can see that every member of my family was an aristocrat.
05:10A rusticrat?
05:12Aristocrat.
05:13Huh.
05:14Plenty of blue blood in my veins.
05:16Is there?
05:16Why, certainly.
05:17I let you in on a little secret, Snooks.
05:20I come from a family of peers.
05:23I won't tell nobody, Daddy.
05:25Oh, I'm proud of it.
05:26Why?
05:27Why?
05:28Look at the picture of this fine old gentleman, one of my great-grandfathers.
05:31This was taken when he was made a knight.
05:33How did he look in the daytime?
05:35He looked fine.
05:37Queen Elizabeth made him a knight.
05:38She gave him the order of the bath.
05:41Did he take it?
05:42Why, of course.
05:44It's a great honor.
05:46He was only 30 years old at the time, and he never expected to get the order of the bath.
05:50He never got it before?
05:52Of course not.
05:52He must have been awful dirty.
05:56The order of the bath is a title.
05:58It's like being a prince.
06:00Oh.
06:01Who is this one, Daddy?
06:04Oh.
06:05Well, we, uh, we never speak of him.
06:09He was my father's uncle.
06:11Now, let me tear up that picture, Snooks.
06:12Is that the one who was the bearded lady in the circus?
06:16Yes, he ran away.
06:16How did you know?
06:18Mommy shows it to everybody.
06:19Oh, she does, eh?
06:21Well, I'll go around showing pictures of her relatives.
06:23If I can get them out of the rogues' gallery.
06:26I want to see them, Daddy.
06:27Never mind.
06:28Oh, what's that you got in your hand?
06:29It's a funny picture with writing on it.
06:31Let me see it.
06:32Yeah.
06:33To Cousin Flyleaf.
06:34Oh, that's my father.
06:37From Cousin Lockstep Higgins.
06:39Lockstep!
06:40Why, that's the guy.
06:41Who?
06:41The millionaire.
06:43Snooks, we're rich.
06:44Are we?
06:44I'll inherit a fortune.
06:46Where's that lawyer's phone book?
06:47Here, let me get her that phone.
06:48Here, Daddy.
06:49Hello, hello.
06:51Get me fuller.
06:514-0-1-0-1.
06:53Oh, I knew that Lockstep would be a member of my family.
06:55He had brains.
06:56Why?
06:57Why, he must have had brains to make five million dollars.
06:59That's the stuff us Higgins are made of.
07:01It runs in the family.
07:02Runs in the family?
07:03Oh, you bet.
07:04We're all alike.
07:05Every one of us.
07:06Oh, hello.
07:07Look, this is Lancelot Higgins calling about the...
07:10Huh?
07:11What?
07:12He didn't leave a cent.
07:14But the will!
07:17Oh.
07:19He was nuts, eh?
07:22It runs in the family, Daddy.
07:26I see.
07:28Goodbye.
07:28Goodbye.
07:29Well, that's that.
07:32The old loon was broke.
07:34Everything happens to me.
07:36Go to bed, Daddy.
07:37Okay.
07:38Good night, Snooks.
07:40Good night.
07:41Poor Daddy.
07:42And then.
07:43Ah!
07:44Ah!
07:45Ah!
08:02Ah!
08:04Ah!
08:05Ah!
08:05Ah!
08:05Ah!
08:05Ah!
08:06Ah!
08:06Daddy!
08:15What is it, Snooks?
08:16I want to sing.
08:17I've told you a thousand times you can't sing on this program.
08:20Why?
08:21Because Connie Boswell is good enough to do all the singing around here.
08:23Now you just behave yourself.
08:25I'll be good if you give me some money.
08:28Oh, you will, eh?
08:29Well, you'll be good without money.
08:31You want me to be good for nothing?
08:33Never mind that.
08:34Come on, we're going home.
08:35No, wait a minute, Daddy.
08:37Oh, Miss Colbert, how do you do?
08:39I'd like to meet this little angel of yours.
08:41Why, certainly.
08:44As Snooks, this is Miss Claudette Colbert.
08:47Say, how do you do?
08:48How do you do, Mrs. Colbert?
08:51How do you do?
08:53Snooks, I just heard you ask your daddy for some money for good behavior.
08:57Do you always do that?
08:58Mm-hmm.
08:59Money never gives me any.
09:01Well, I don't think it's very nice.
09:03Tell him, Mrs. Colbert.
09:05I mean, asking for money isn't very nice.
09:08Oh.
09:09Only greedy little girls do that.
09:11What's greedy?
09:12Oh, she's not really greedy, Miss Colbert.
09:14I think I can show you.
09:15How?
09:16Well, I'll let her choose between this dollar bill and this dime.
09:20See which one she takes.
09:21Oh, Snooks.
09:22Yes, Daddy?
09:23See what I have in my hand?
09:25Mm-hmm.
09:26Which one do you want?
09:27The silver one.
09:28Hey.
09:29What did I tell you?
09:30Wrap it up in that green paper.
09:35I see what you mean, Daddy.
09:41Now, Snooks, I want to tell you a story about a greedy little boy.
09:46Where is he now?
09:47Well, right now he's in heaven with the angels.
09:49Do men ever go to heaven?
09:51Why, of course men go to heaven.
09:53Why do you ask such a silly question?
09:54Well, I've seen lots of pictures of angels.
09:58Yes.
09:59But I've never seen an angel with wiskets.
10:01Well, that's true, Snooks.
10:04Men go to heaven, but they get there by a very close shave.
10:07Oh, that's a great one, isn't it, Snooks?
10:11No.
10:13Tell me the story about the greedy boy.
10:16Very well.
10:17There was once a little boy, and he threatened his mother,
10:19that unless she gave him a dollar, he put ink in the goldfish bowl.
10:23Oh, I don't know.
10:27Well, this little boy's mother gave him a dollar not to do it because she was so tired.
10:32Uh-huh.
10:32The minute he got his hands on the money,
10:34the little boy ran to the candy store and bought ten big bags of candy.
10:39That's a minskets?
10:40Gumdrops.
10:41Oh, I like that.
10:44The greedy little boy went off by himself and started to devour this enormous amount of candy.
10:51He ate five whole bags, six bags, seven bags, eight bags.
10:55He finished eight bags of that candy.
10:58And then?
10:58And then he burst in two.
11:00Oh.
11:01Now, that's a very sad little story, and I hope it'll teach you that it doesn't pay to be greedy.
11:05It does make you stop and think, doesn't it?
11:07Uh-huh.
11:08Now, what are you thinking?
11:10Where's the other two bags of gumdrops?
11:12That's enough.
11:13Come on, Stoke.
11:13We're going.
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