Before.Sunset.2004.1080p

Name: Before.Sunset.2004.1080p
Uploaded: 2025-07-20T01:23:31+00:00
Duration: 1 h 20 min 32 s
Channel: Movie-verse
Description: soft romance where people met as a stranger.

Movie-verse

7/20/2025

soft romance where people met as a stranger.

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00:02:00Do you consider the book to be autobiographical?

00:02:02Uh-huh. Um, well, I mean, isn't everything autobiographical?

00:02:07I mean, we all see the world through our own tiny keyhole, right?

00:02:13I mean, I always think of Thomas Wolfe.

00:02:15You know, have you ever seen that little one-page note to reader

00:02:19in the front of Look Homeward Angel, right?

00:02:20You know what I'm talking about?

00:02:22Anyway, he says that we are the sum of all the moments of our lives

00:02:27and that anybody who sits down to write is going to use the clay of their own life,

00:02:31that you can't avoid that.

00:02:32So when I look at my own life, you know, I have to admit, right,

00:02:36that I've never been around a bunch of guns or violence, you know, not really.

00:02:42No political intrigue or a helicopter crash, right?

00:02:47But my life, from my own point of view, has been full of drama, right?

00:02:52And so I thought if I could write a book that could capture what it's like

00:02:57to really meet somebody, you know, I mean,

00:02:59one of the most exciting things that's ever happened to me, right,

00:03:01is to really meet somebody, make that connection.

00:03:05And if I could make that valuable, you know, to capture that,

00:03:09that would be the attempt.

00:03:11Or did I answer your question?

00:03:14I'll try to be more specific.

00:03:19Were there ever a French young woman on a train you met and spent an evening with?

00:03:28See, to me, that's not important, you know?

00:03:33So let's say yes.

00:03:35All right, since I'm in France and this is the last stop of my book tour, yes.

00:03:38Mr. Wallace, the book ends on an ambiguous note.

00:03:46We don't know.

00:03:47Do you think they get back together in six months?

00:03:50Like they promise each other?

00:03:54Like they promised?

00:03:57I think how you answer that, you know, is a good test, right,

00:04:02if you're a romantic or a cynic, right?

00:04:05I mean, you think they get back together, right?

00:04:09You don't, for sure.

00:04:10And you hope they do, but, you know, you're not sure.

00:04:13That's why you're asking the question.

00:04:14And do you think they get back together?

00:04:16I mean, did you in real life?

00:04:20Did I in real life?

00:04:21Look, in the words of my grandfather, okay,

00:04:25to answer that would take the piss out of the whole thing.

00:04:28We just have the time for one last question.

00:04:32What is your next book?

00:04:37I don't know, man.

00:04:38I don't know.

00:04:40I've been thinking about this.

00:04:44Well, I always kind of wanted to write a book

00:04:46that all took place within the space of a pop song,

00:04:50you know, like three or four minutes long, the whole thing.

00:04:53The story, the idea is that there's this guy, right?

00:04:57And he's totally depressed.

00:05:00I mean, his great dream was to be a lover, an adventurer,

00:05:04you know, riding motorcycles through South America.

00:05:07And instead, he's sitting at a marble table eating lobster,

00:05:10and he's got a good job and a beautiful wife, right?

00:05:13But, you know, everything that he needs.

00:05:15But it doesn't matter.

00:05:17Because what he wants is to fight for meaning.

00:05:21You know?

00:05:21I mean, happiness isn't in the doing, right?

00:05:23Not in the getting what you want.

00:05:25So, he's sitting there, and just that second,

00:05:29his little five-year-old daughter hops up on the table,

00:05:34and he knows that she should get down,

00:05:36because she could get hurt.

00:05:37But she's dancing to this pop song in a summer dress.

00:05:42And he looks down, and all of a sudden, he's 16.

00:05:47And his high school sweetheart is dropping him off at home.

00:05:54And they just lost their virginity.

00:05:56And she loves him.

00:05:57And the same song is playing on the car radio.

00:06:02And she climbs up and starts dancing on the roof of the car.

00:06:05And now he's worried about her.

00:06:06And she's beautiful with a facial expression, you know, just like his daughter's.

00:06:11In fact, you know, maybe that's why he even likes her.

00:06:14You know what I mean?

00:06:14See, he knows he's not remembering this dance.

00:06:17He's there.

00:06:17He's there in both moments simultaneously.

00:06:20And just like for an instant, all his life is just folding in on itself.

00:06:24And it's obvious to him that time is a lie.

00:06:29That it's all happening all the time.

00:06:32And inside every moment is another moment.

00:06:34All, you know, happening simultaneously.

00:06:38Anyway, that's kind of the idea.

00:06:39Anyway.

00:06:42Well, our offer has to be going to the airport soon.

00:06:44So thank you all very much for coming over this afternoon.

00:06:48And a special thanks to Mr. Wallace for being with us.

00:06:53We hope to see you here again with your next book.

00:06:55Merci à toutes et à tous d'être venus.

00:06:58Et comme vous voyez, il y a du champagne, il y a des petites choses à grignoter.

00:07:00Donc, servez-vous.

00:07:02Thank you all.

00:07:03How much longer before I have to go to the airport?

00:07:06Oh, you should leave at 7.30.

00:07:077.30 at the very latest.

00:07:09Okay.

00:07:10Okay.

00:07:15Hi.

00:07:17Hello.

00:07:21How are you?

00:07:22Good.

00:07:23And you?

00:07:25I'm good.

00:07:26Yeah, I'm great.

00:07:27I'm, uh...

00:07:29Do you want to maybe get a cup of coffee?

00:07:32Do you need to see if you have a plane to catch?

00:07:34Uh, yeah.

00:07:37But, um, but, I mean, I have a little time.

00:07:39Okay.

00:07:40Yeah?

00:07:40All right, well, let me, um...

00:07:42I'll meet you outside now.

00:07:44Okay.

00:07:46Excuse me.

00:07:47I'm just gonna go out and get a cup of coffee and be back at 7.15.

00:07:50Did you sign all these?

00:07:51Um, yeah, I sure did.

00:07:52Well, get your driver Philippe's card so that, uh, you can call his cell phone if you're running late.

00:07:56All right.

00:07:57And we will put your bags in the car so you are not late going to the airport.

00:07:59All right.

00:08:00Thanks for everything.

00:08:01Merci beaucoup, mademoiselle.

00:08:02C'est moi.

00:08:03C'est moi.

00:08:04Uh, which one's Philippe?

00:08:06Philippe, passe-lui ta carte pour qu'il est au numéro de portable, hein?

00:08:09Merci.

00:08:09I can't believe you're here.

00:08:26Well, I live here in Paris.

00:08:28Wow.

00:08:29Um.

00:08:29Are you sure you don't have to stay?

00:08:31You're not supposed to, um, to talk some more?

00:08:32No, no, no.

00:08:33They're sick of me.

00:08:34I spent the night here last night.

00:08:35Oh, you did?

00:08:36Yeah, yeah.

00:08:36They got a loft upstairs.

00:08:37Oh, wow.

00:08:38Anyway, how are you?

00:08:39This is so weird.

00:08:40I'm fine.

00:08:41It's, um, it's good to see you.

00:08:43It's good to see you.

00:08:47So you want to go to a café?

00:08:49Uh, yeah.

00:08:50Okay.

00:08:51This went a little further.

00:08:52Okay.

00:08:52That I like.

00:08:52I thought I was going to totally lose it in there when I first saw you.

00:08:56I mean, how'd you even know I was going to be here?

00:08:59Well, it's my favorite bookstore in Paris.

00:09:00I, um, you can sit down for hours and read.

00:09:03I love it.

00:09:04There's fleas, but, you know.

00:09:05I know, I know.

00:09:05I think a cat slept on my head last night.

00:09:07So I saw your picture on the calendar about a month ago.

00:09:10Yeah.

00:09:10And that you were going to be here.

00:09:13It's funny because I read an article on your book.

00:09:15What was it?

00:09:16And it sounded vaguely familiar.

00:09:18Vaguely, yeah.

00:09:19Yeah.

00:09:19But I didn't put it all together until I saw your photo, so.

00:09:24Did you have a chance to read it?

00:09:27Yes.

00:09:27I, um, I was really, really surprised, as you can imagine.

00:09:31I mean, I had to read it twice, actually.

00:09:34Yeah?

00:09:34Like this, like that.

00:09:37No, I liked it.

00:09:38Yeah?

00:09:39It's, uh, it's very romantic.

00:09:40I usually don't like that, but it's, uh, really well written.

00:09:43It's really well written.

00:09:44No, all right.

00:09:44No, I really, congratulations.

00:09:46Wait.

00:09:47What?

00:09:48Before we go anywhere, I have, um, I have to ask you, um.

00:09:53Sure would.

00:09:54Did you show up in Vienna that December?

00:09:58No.

00:09:58Uh, did you?

00:10:01No, I couldn't, but did you?

00:10:04I need to know it's important to me.

00:10:06Why?

00:10:06If you didn't.

00:10:08Well, did you?

00:10:12Oh, oh, thank God you didn't.

00:10:15Well, thank God.

00:10:15I think I'm in.

00:10:17I mean, thank God I didn't and you didn't.

00:10:19I mean, one of us had showed up there alone.

00:10:20I know.

00:10:20And that would have sucked.

00:10:21I know, I know.

00:10:22I was so concerned with that.

00:10:23I always felt horrible about not being there, but I couldn't.

00:10:26You know, my grandma died a few days before,

00:10:28and she was buried that day, December 16th.

00:10:29She died the one in Budapest?

00:10:31Yes.

00:10:31You remember that?

00:10:32Yeah, I remember everything.

00:10:34Of course, it was in your book.

00:10:35But anyway, I was about, I was about to fly to Vienna, you know,

00:10:38and, uh, and I, and we heard the news about her.

00:10:41And, uh, of course, I had to go to the funeral with my parents.

00:10:43Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that.

00:10:45I know.

00:10:46But you weren't there anyway.

00:10:49Wait.

00:10:50Why weren't you there?

00:10:52I would have been there if I could have.

00:10:53I made plans and, wait, you better have a good reason.

00:10:56What?

00:11:01Oh, no.

00:11:03No, you were there, weren't you?

00:11:05Oh, no.

00:11:06Oh, that's terrible.

00:11:08Oh, no, I'm laughing, but I don't mean it.

00:11:10Did you hate me?

00:11:11You must have hated me.

00:11:12Have you been hating me all this time?

00:11:13You have.

00:11:14No.

00:11:14Yes, you have.

00:11:15No.

00:11:16Oh, but you can't hate me now, right?

00:11:18I know.

00:11:18I mean, my grandma...

00:11:18I don't hate you, all right?

00:11:20Come on, it's no big deal, all right?

00:11:21I flew all the way over there.

00:11:23You blew the thing off, and my life's been a big nosedive since then.

00:11:26But, I mean, it's not a problem.

00:11:27No, you can't say that.

00:11:29Oh, I'm kidding.

00:11:29I'm kidding.

00:11:29Oh, I can't believe it.

00:11:30You must have been so angry with me.

00:11:32I'm so sorry.

00:11:33I really wanted to be there more than anything in the world.

00:11:35I swear.

00:11:36Honestly, I swear.

00:11:36I mean, you can't be angry.

00:11:37My grandmother, I mean, you can't...

00:11:39No, I know, I know.

00:11:40I honestly thought that something like that might have happened.

00:11:43I was definitely bummed, but mostly I was just mad.

00:11:46We hadn't exchanged any phone numbers or any information.

00:11:49I know, I know.

00:11:49That was so stupid.

00:11:50No way to get in touch.

00:11:51I didn't even know your last name.

00:11:52I know, I know.

00:11:53I mean, remember, we were both afraid that if we started writing and calling,

00:11:57that it would slowly, you know, fade out.

00:11:59Yeah, it definitely wasn't a slow fade.

00:12:01No, it sure wasn't.

00:12:02I know.

00:12:02We wanted to pick it up where we left off.

00:12:04Which would have been fine if it were.

00:12:05Yes, a good idea.

00:12:06Oh, well.

00:12:09So.

00:12:09How long were you in Vienna, then?

00:12:12Just a couple days.

00:12:15Did you meet another girl?

00:12:18Uh, yeah.

00:12:19Her name was Gretchen, and she was amazing.

00:12:21You did?

00:12:21Yeah, the book's really a composite of the two of you.

00:12:23Really?

00:12:24Oh, no.

00:12:24No, I'm kidding.

00:12:25No, you wouldn't believe it.

00:12:26I even went back to the train station.

00:12:28I put up, you know, signs of my number in the hotel in case you've been delayed.

00:12:32I was a total dork.

00:12:33Let's go this way.

00:12:34Did you get any calls?

00:12:35Just a couple hookers looking for a gig.

00:12:37You know, no, I was awful.

00:12:39I mean, what do you want me to say?

00:12:40I was like...

00:12:41Oh, that's so sad.

00:12:41I'm so sorry.

00:12:42I walked around for a couple days.

00:12:44Eventually, I flew home.

00:12:46I owed my dad 2,000 bucks, who had warned me about French chicks, I have to say.

00:12:51What did he tell you about French women?

00:12:52Nothing, the guy, he's never met any French women, okay?

00:12:55He's never been east of the Mississippi.

00:12:57So why didn't you put the six months later, the French bitch didn't show up?

00:13:02No, but I did.

00:13:03I did.

00:13:03You did?

00:13:04Yeah, no, I mean, I made it more hopeful.

00:13:06I mean, I wrote this whole fictional version where you actually do show up.

00:13:09Oh, what happens?

00:13:10Well, um...

00:13:12What?

00:13:14Well, we make love for about 10 days straight.

00:13:17That's one part of it.

00:13:18Oh, that's interesting.

00:13:19So the French slut, right?

00:13:20Yeah, okay, great, okay.

00:13:21It's just then they, you know, they start to get to know each other better,

00:13:24and they realize that they don't get along at all.

00:13:26I like that.

00:13:27It's more real.

00:13:27Yeah, well, my editor didn't think that way.

00:13:30No, everyone wants to be living in love.

00:13:32It sells, right?

00:13:32Yeah, exactly.

00:13:33So...

00:13:35So things are going well for you, right?

00:13:37I mean, your book is a bestseller in the U.S.

00:13:39It's a tiny bestseller.

00:13:41Oh, come on.

00:13:41All right, yeah, right, officially, yes.

00:13:43But, I mean, you know, most people haven't read Moby Dick, you know,

00:13:45so why should they read my book?

00:13:46Well, I haven't read Moby Dick, and I like your book, so...

00:13:48Oh, thanks.

00:13:50You know, I thought you idealized the night of it.

00:13:53Oh, come on.

00:13:55It's officially fiction, right?

00:13:56I mean, I'm supposed to...

00:13:57No, I know, I know, I know.

00:13:58I know, I thought, you know, there were times where you made me a...

00:14:01Well, I mean, her, right?

00:14:04No, me.

00:14:05Okay, whatever.

00:14:06A little bit neurotic.

00:14:08Oh, you're a little bit like that, aren't you?

00:14:09You think I'm neurotic?

00:14:10No, no, no, no, come on, I'm kidding.

00:14:13Where did I do that?

00:14:14I didn't do that.

00:14:15Well, maybe it's just me, you know, reading something,

00:14:19knowing that the character in the story is based on you,

00:14:21it's both flattering and disturbing at the same time.

00:14:23Yeah, how's it disturbing?

00:14:26I don't know.

00:14:27Just being part of someone else's memory,

00:14:30seeing myself through your eyes.

00:14:31How long did it take you to write it?

00:14:35Um, uh, three or four years, on and off.

00:14:38Wow, that's a really long time to be writing, about one night.

00:14:41Yeah, I know, tell me about it.

00:14:44I always assumed you had forgotten me.

00:14:46You know, I had a pretty clear picture of you in my mind.

00:14:50I have to tell you something.

00:14:52What?

00:14:53I've wanted to talk to you for so long, you know, that now it's just surreal.

00:14:57You know, I feel like everything out of my mouth.

00:14:58I know, I know.

00:14:59How long do we have?

00:15:0020 minutes and 30 seconds?

00:15:01Let's go.

00:15:02No, we've got more than that.

00:15:03I want to know about you.

00:15:04Tell me, what are you doing, you know?

00:15:05What are you up to?

00:15:07Where to start?

00:15:07I work for Green Cross.

00:15:10It's an environmental organization.

00:15:12What are they all about?

00:15:13Well, we basically work on different environment issues,

00:15:16from clean water to disarmament of chemical weapons.

00:15:19You know, international laws that deal with the environment.

00:15:21And what do you do for it?

00:15:22We're doing this way.

00:15:24Different things.

00:15:26Like, last year I was in India for quite a while,

00:15:28working on a water treatment plant.

00:15:30Wow.

00:15:30Yeah, well, the cotton industry there is a major source of pollution.

00:15:33I mean, it just sounds like you're actually doing something, you know?

00:15:37I mean, most people, myself included, just sit around and bitch.

00:15:41You know, America's consuming all the world's resources.

00:15:44SUV's global warming is real.

00:15:47You know, I'm really relieved to hear you're not one of those

00:15:49Freedom Prize kind of Americans.

00:15:50Hey, you know.

00:15:52But how'd you get into that?

00:15:53I came out of political science,

00:15:55and I was hoping to work for the government.

00:15:57And I did for a little while.

00:15:58Ugh, terrible.

00:15:59Not good?

00:15:59Yeah, no.

00:16:00And anyway, I got really tired.

00:16:02Let's go this way.

00:16:03Of having this endless conversation with friends

00:16:06about how the world was falling to pieces.

00:16:08So I decided what I really wanted to do

00:16:10was to find things that could be fixed

00:16:12and try to fix them, you know?

00:16:14Yeah, I just, I always thought you'd be doing something cool like that.

00:16:17I did, I've...

00:16:18Thanks.

00:16:19I just feel really, really lucky to be doing a job I like, you know?

00:16:24Yeah.

00:16:25You know, I actually alternated between thinking that,

00:16:28you know, everything is irrevocably screwed up

00:16:30and that things might be getting better in some ways.

00:16:33Better?

00:16:33How could you possibly say that?

00:16:35Well, I just mean, you know, like...

00:16:37I mean, I know it sounds weird,

00:16:38but there are things to be optimistic about.

00:16:41Okay.

00:16:42Um, I know your book is selling.

00:16:44Which is great.

00:16:45I'm very happy for you.

00:16:46But let me break the news to you, okay?

00:16:47The world is a mess right now.

00:16:49No, I'm not...

00:16:50What's the point of you?

00:16:50Things are getting a bit better.

00:16:52Okay, we're moving all our industry to developing nations

00:16:54where we can get cheap labor free of any environmental laws.

00:16:58Okay, the weapon industry is booming.

00:16:59Five million people die every year from preventable water disease.

00:17:02So how is the world getting any better?

00:17:04I'm not getting angry, I'm not getting angry,

00:17:05but come on, I want to know.

00:17:07I'm interested.

00:17:07Okay, okay.

00:17:08I realize that there are a lot of serious problems in the world.

00:17:12Okay, thank you.

00:17:12Okay?

00:17:13I mean, I don't even have one publisher in the whole Asian market.

00:17:16Okay.

00:17:17All right.

00:17:17It's my spell.

00:17:19All right, what?

00:17:20Stop.

00:17:20Oh!

00:17:21No, look, all I'm saying is there's more awareness out there, right?

00:17:24People are going to fight back.

00:17:25Okay.

00:17:26You know, I mean, I think the world might be getting better

00:17:28because people like you are educated and speaking out.

00:17:31Even the very notion of conservation, environmental issues,

00:17:34those weren't even in the vocabulary until fairly recently, you know,

00:17:37and they're becoming the norm,

00:17:38and eventually might be what's expected all over the world.

00:17:41I agree with what you're saying,

00:17:42but at the same time, it's dangerous.

00:17:44An imperialist country can use that kind of thinking

00:17:47to justify the economic grade.

00:17:49You know, human rights is...

00:17:52Is there any particular imperialist country you have in mind there, Frenchie?

00:17:55Hmm, no, not really.

00:17:56No?

00:17:57Au revoir.

00:17:59Au revoir.

00:17:59So, you want to sit over there?

00:18:04Yeah, this is perfect.

00:18:07Oh, wow.

00:18:08Maybe what I'm saying is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves, right?

00:18:13Like, I mean, me, for example.

00:18:14Am I getting worse?

00:18:16Am I improving?

00:18:17I don't know.

00:18:18When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was wracked with insecurity.

00:18:22You know, now I'm older and my problems are deeper,

00:18:25but I'm more equipped to handle them.

00:18:28So, what are your problems?

00:18:32Right now, I don't have any.

00:18:34I don't.

00:18:35You know, I'm just damn happy to be here.

00:18:38Me too.

00:18:43So, how long have you been in Paris?

00:18:45I got in last night.

00:18:46I've done 10 cities in 12 days.

00:18:48I mean, I'm wrecked.

00:18:50I'm so glad it's over, you know?

00:18:52I'm tired of being a huckster.

00:18:53Oh, hello.

00:18:55Qu'est-ce que je vous sers?

00:18:56What do you want?

00:18:57Um, a cup of coffee.

00:18:59Un café et un citron crassé, s'il vous plaît.

00:19:03God, I love this café.

00:19:04We should have places like this in the U.S.

00:19:06Yeah, I missed cafés when I was living over there.

00:19:10I mean, I find a few places I really like, but there was...

00:19:13You were living in the U.S.?

00:19:15Yes, from, uh, 96 to 99.

00:19:17I was studying at NYU.

00:19:19Oh, God, don't tell me that, Celine.

00:19:22What?

00:19:23No, it's just, I...

00:19:24Nothing.

00:19:25I mean, I...

00:19:25What?

00:19:26I've been living in New York since 98.

00:19:28You know, we were there at the same time.

00:19:29In New York?

00:19:30Yeah.

00:19:31Wow, that's weird.

00:19:32It actually crossed my mind a few times

00:19:35that I might run into you,

00:19:36but the odds are so slim, right?

00:19:38So, I didn't even know what city you were living in.

00:19:41Weren't you somewhere in Texas?

00:19:43Yeah, no.

00:19:43Somewhere in Texas, right?

00:19:43Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

00:19:45I just, I was for a long time.

00:19:46I just, you know, wanted to try New York.

00:19:49Hmm.

00:19:50What brought you back here?

00:19:52Uh, I had finished my master's for one,

00:19:55and, uh, no visa, no more visa.

00:19:57And, uh, anyway, I was starting to get paranoid.

00:19:59All the violence in the media,

00:20:02gang violence, murders,

00:20:03especially serial killers.

00:20:04Yeah, you're right.

00:20:04But the final straw was,

00:20:08one night I heard some noise on my fire escape,

00:20:11so I called 911,

00:20:13and the cops came eventually.

00:20:14Yeah, like three hours later.

00:20:15Yeah, after I had been raped and killed about ten times.

00:20:18No, but it was a man and a woman officer,

00:20:21and I was explaining to them what I had heard

00:20:23when the woman had to run downstairs

00:20:24to move the police car,

00:20:26so I was left alone with a male cop.

00:20:28And right away, he asked me if I had a gun.

00:20:30And I said, no, of course not.

00:20:32And he told me,

00:20:33well, you better think about getting one.

00:20:35This is America, not France.

00:20:38Okay?

00:20:39And I said to him, you know,

00:20:40I have no idea how to shoot a gun,

00:20:42and I have no interest in firearms whatsoever.

00:20:45And that's when he pulled out his gun,

00:20:47like this, and he went,

00:20:49well, one day,

00:20:51you're gonna have something like this in your face.

00:20:54And if you want to have a long life,

00:20:57you're gonna have to choose between you or them.

00:21:02And then they left.

00:21:04And the next morning,

00:21:05I called for an application to get a gun.

00:21:07Me with a gun.

00:21:08I mean, that's really scary.

00:21:10But then I realized something was wrong.

00:21:12The way that cop had pulled his gun out

00:21:14and everything, right?

00:21:15Yeah, sure.

00:21:16So I canceled my demand for the gun,

00:21:18and I called the police station

00:21:19and tried to complain about that cop's behavior.

00:21:21What happened with that?

00:21:22Well, it was so much paperwork.

00:21:23And then I got scared with my shitty student.

00:21:27Yeah, until you get deported.

00:21:28Yeah, exactly.

00:21:29So I gave up,

00:21:29and I forgot about the whole thing.

00:21:31Well, I guess I never forgot about the whole thing.

00:21:33Obviously, yeah.

00:21:35But still, you know,

00:21:36I really enjoy being there.

00:21:38There's a lot of things I miss about the U.S.

00:21:40You're like, what?

00:21:43Well,

00:21:44the overall good mood people have there,

00:21:48like, you know,

00:21:48even if it can be bullshit sometimes,

00:21:50and I was like,

00:21:50how are you doing?

00:21:51Great.

00:21:51How are you doing?

00:21:52Great.

00:21:53Have a great day.

00:21:56I don't know.

00:21:57Parisians can be so grumpy.

00:21:58Have you noticed?

00:22:00No.

00:22:00Everybody seems pretty happy to me.

00:22:03They're not happy.

00:22:04They're not happy.

00:22:06No, they are.

00:22:07I don't know.

00:22:07Maybe I just mean French men.

00:22:09They drive me nuts.

00:22:10What is it?

00:22:10What about them?

00:22:11Well, they're very nice.

00:22:12They're great, you know,

00:22:13to be around.

00:22:14They love food, wine.

00:22:15They're great cooks.

00:22:16But I don't know.

00:22:17Maybe I've had really bad luck with them.

00:22:19Why?

00:22:19What do you mean?

00:22:21Well,

00:22:22I guess they're not as...

00:22:24What?

00:22:24What's the word?

00:22:27Horny?

00:22:28They're not as horny.

00:22:30All right.

00:22:30Now, listen to me on this one, all right?

00:22:32You know, in that regard,

00:22:33I am proud to be an American.

00:22:35And you should be.

00:22:35In that regard, I'm like...

00:22:37Merci.

00:22:38Have you ever spent some time

00:22:39in Eastern Europe?

00:22:41Eastern Europe?

00:22:42No.

00:22:43I remember as a teenager

00:22:45I went to Warsaw

00:22:46when it was still

00:22:48a strict communist regime.

00:22:49Which I don't approve of at all, but...

00:22:51Oh, yeah, sure you don't.

00:22:52No, I don't.

00:22:53No, I'm just kidding.

00:22:54But anyway,

00:22:55something about being there

00:22:56was very interesting, I found.

00:22:57After a couple of weeks,

00:22:59something changed in me.

00:23:01The city was quite gloomy and gray,

00:23:03and...

00:23:04But after a while,

00:23:06my brain seemed clearer.

00:23:07I was writing a lot more in my journal,

00:23:09ideas I'd never thought of before.

00:23:11Communist ideas?

00:23:11Listen, I'm not...

00:23:13I'm sorry, I can't...

00:23:14No, wait, yeah, well, okay.

00:23:16Go on.

00:23:17Okay.

00:23:18I'll send you to a good life.

00:23:19No, but it took me a while

00:23:21to figure out why I felt,

00:23:22you know, so different.

00:23:23And then one day,

00:23:24as I was walking through

00:23:25the Jewish cemetery,

00:23:26I don't know why,

00:23:26but it occurred to me there,

00:23:28I realized that I had spent

00:23:29the last two weeks

00:23:30away from most of my habits.

00:23:32TV was in a language

00:23:33I didn't understand.

00:23:34There was nothing to buy,

00:23:35no advertisements anywhere.

00:23:36So all I had been doing

00:23:38was walk around,

00:23:40think and write.

00:23:42My brain felt like it was at rest,

00:23:44free from the consuming frenzy,

00:23:45and I have to say,

00:23:46it was almost like a natural high.

00:23:48I felt so peaceful inside,

00:23:49no strange urge

00:23:51to be somewhere else,

00:23:52to shop.

00:23:54Maybe it could have seemed

00:23:55like boredom at first,

00:23:56but it quickly became

00:23:57very, very soulful.

00:23:59Which is interesting, you know?

00:24:00Can you believe it was

00:24:02nine years ago

00:24:02that we were walking

00:24:03around Vienna?

00:24:05Nine years?

00:24:05No, that's impossible.

00:24:06No, it was.

00:24:07I know, it feels like

00:24:07two months ago to me,

00:24:08but it was summer 94.

00:24:11Mm-hmm.

00:24:13Do I look any different?

00:24:16I do.

00:24:19I'd have to see you naked.

00:24:21What?

00:24:21I know, I'm sorry.

00:24:22I know, your hair was different

00:24:24back then, it was like...

00:24:25What?

00:24:26It's the same?

00:24:26Oh, okay.

00:24:26Take it down, let's see.

00:24:27Down, okay, it was down.

00:24:29Yeah.

00:24:29Okay.

00:24:30Okay, come on, tell me.

00:24:41Skinnier, I think.

00:24:43A little thinner.

00:24:45Did you think I was fat before?

00:24:47No.

00:24:48Yeah, you thought I was a fatty.

00:24:50No, you thought I was a fatty.

00:24:52Yeah, you wrote a book

00:24:53about a fat French girl.

00:24:54No, listen.

00:24:55Oh, no.

00:24:56Seriously, all right?

00:24:57You look beautiful.

00:24:58Do I look any different?

00:24:59No.

00:25:02No, no, no, no.

00:25:03Oh, actually, you have this slime.

00:25:05I know.

00:25:06It's like a scar.

00:25:07A scar?

00:25:08What, like a gunshot wound?

00:25:10No, no, no, no, I like it.

00:25:11I'm sorry.

00:25:11I had this funny, well, horrible dream the other day.

00:25:19I was having this awful nightmare that I was 32, and then I woke up, and I was 23, so relieved.

00:25:26And then I woke up for real, and I was 32.

00:25:29Shit.

00:25:30Scary.

00:25:30It happens.

00:25:32Yeah, time goes faster and faster.

00:25:34Apparently, it's because we don't renew our synopsis after 20, so it's pretty much downhill from then on.

00:25:38Oh, well.

00:25:38I like getting older.

00:25:41You know, I feel, I don't know, it feels more immediate.

00:25:44You know, like, I can appreciate things more.

00:25:47No, me too, actually.

00:25:48I really love it.

00:25:50I was once a drummer in a band.

00:25:54You were?

00:25:54Yeah, we were pretty good, actually, but the lead singer guy, he was just so obsessed with us getting a record deal.

00:26:01You know, it's all we talked about.

00:26:02It's all we thought about, getting bigger shows, and everything was just focused on the future all the time.

00:26:07And now the band doesn't even exist anymore, right?

00:26:10And looking back at the shows we did play, even rehearsing, you know, I mean, it was just so much fun.

00:26:16I just, now I'd be able to enjoy every minute of it.

00:26:18Could I have a drag of that?

00:26:19Mm-hmm.

00:26:20Well, your book has been published.

00:26:21That's a pretty big deal, and you've been all around Europe with it.

00:26:25Are you enjoying every minute of it?

00:26:27Not really.

00:26:28Not really?

00:26:31Do you have another one of those?

00:26:32Yes, of course.

00:26:35Um, here.

00:26:38In my field, I see these people that, oh, sorry, come into it with big idealist visions of becoming the new leader that will create a better world.

00:26:47They enjoy the goal, but not the process.

00:26:50Right.

00:26:50But the reality of it is that the true work of improving things is in the little achievements of the day.

00:26:55And that's what you need to enjoy to stay in that field.

00:26:57What do you mean, exactly?

00:26:58Well, for example, I was working for this organization that helped villages in Mexico,

00:27:03and their concerns was how to get the pencils sent to the kid in those little country schools.

00:27:08It was not about big revolutionary ideas.

00:27:10It was about pencils.

00:27:11I see the people that do the real work, and what's really sad in a way is that the people that are the most giving, hardworking, and capable of making this world better usually don't have the ego and ambition to be a leader.

00:27:23They don't see any interest in superficial rewards.

00:27:27They don't care if their name ever appear in the press.

00:27:30They actually enjoy the process of helping others.

00:27:34They're in the moment.

00:27:35Yeah, but that's so hard, you know, to be in the moment.

00:27:38And I just feel like I'm designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything, you know?

00:27:44I mean, it's like always trying to better my situation, you know?

00:27:46I satisfy one desire, and it just agitates another.

00:27:50You know, then I think, ah, to hell with it, right?

00:27:52I mean, desires to fuel a lot, you know?

00:27:54I mean, do you think it's true that if we never wanted anything, we'd never be unhappy?

00:28:00I don't know.

00:28:01Not wanting anything, isn't that a symptom of depression?

00:28:05Yeah, that is, right?

00:28:07I mean, it's healthy to desire, right?

00:28:09Yeah.

00:28:10I don't know.

00:28:11I mean, it's what all those Buddhist guys say, right?

00:28:13You know, liberate yourself from desire, and you'll find that you already have everything you need.

00:28:17Yeah, but I feel really alive when I want something more than just basic survival needs.

00:28:22I mean, wanting whether it's intimacy with another person or a new pair of shoes is kind of beautiful.

00:28:27I like that we have those ever-renewing desires, you know?

00:28:30Yeah, well, maybe it's just a sense of entitlement.

00:28:32You know, like whenever you feel like you deserve that new pair of shoes, you know?

00:28:37I mean, it's okay to want things as long as you don't get pissed off if you don't get them.

00:28:40Yeah.

00:28:40You know, right?

00:28:41Life's hard.

00:28:41It's supposed to be.

00:28:42If we didn't suffer, we wouldn't learn a thing, you know?

00:28:47So what, are you Buddhist or something?

00:28:50No.

00:28:51No?

00:28:51Why not?

00:28:53I don't know.

00:28:54Same reason I don't really consider myself anything, really.

00:28:58Yeah, I know.

00:28:59I decided a long time ago that I was going to be open to everything, but not buy into any one and only belief system.

00:29:05I went to this, uh, Trappist monastery a couple years ago.

00:29:10Trappist?

00:29:11Yeah, they're Catholic, Cistercian.

00:29:13Oh.

00:29:13Uh, why did you do that?

00:29:15Why?

00:29:15I've just been doing some reading, I guess.

00:29:17I thought it'd be cool.

00:29:18Uh, have you ever spent any time with any monks or nuns?

00:29:21No.

00:29:23It's not really my style.

00:29:24No.

00:29:26But go ahead.

00:29:26I expected them to be all glowering and stern, you know, but they weren't.

00:29:30They were really quick to laugh, really easy to be around.

00:29:33Seriously, very attuned to everything.

00:29:35They were just, uh, you know, they weren't trying to hustle anybody.

00:29:38They were trying to live and die in peace with God, you know, or whatever part of them they feel is eternal.

00:29:44You know, and it was just so refreshing to be around.

00:29:46You know, you realize that most of the people that you meet are trying to get somewhere better.

00:29:51You know, they're trying to make a little bit more cash.

00:29:53You're trying to get a little more respect, have more people admire them.

00:29:56You know, and it's just exhausting.

00:29:57Oh, I get it.

00:29:58You know, and it's exhausting to be one of those people yourself.

00:30:00You know, I mean, there I am, right?

00:30:02You know, all greedy to be more spiritual, you know.

00:30:04I want to be a better person, you know.

00:30:06I can't escape.

00:30:08I had this, uh, this boyfriend of mine many years ago that wanted to be a Buddhist, and so he went to Asia to visit some of those monasteries.

00:30:17Yeah, I thought about doing that, too.

00:30:19Yeah, and you should.

00:30:20I'll tell you why.

00:30:21Uh, he was quite good looking, and each time he went to one of those monasteries, a monk offered to suck his cock.

00:30:27Short story.

00:30:29Well, it all comes down to that, doesn't it?

00:30:32Well.

00:30:33I mean, I think that's why I really admire what you're doing, you know.

00:30:36What do you mean, second cocked?

00:30:37Uh, no.

00:30:39Wrong answer.

00:30:40No, yeah, no, I was gonna say, uh, you know, you're not detached from life, you know, you're putting your passion into action.

00:30:47Well, I'd try.

00:30:50Hey, you know something?

00:30:52I'm gonna be on planes and, like, in an airport for the next eight hours.

00:30:56Uh-huh.

00:30:56I'd just love to, to see a little bit more in Paris.

00:30:59Would you walk around with me a little bit?

00:31:01Yeah, yeah, let's do that.

00:31:01Do you mind?

00:31:02No, no, no, that's great.

00:31:03Let's do that.

00:31:03Yeah, yeah, that's great.

00:31:04What are we, oh, here, $4.50.

00:31:06No, no, I got it, I got it, I got a little per diem going on here.

00:31:09Oh, okay.

00:31:09Is this good for, like, a tip?

00:31:11Yeah, that's fine.

00:31:12That's more than enough, yeah.

00:31:13Oh, for that.

00:31:14All right, is there anywhere to go around here?

00:31:16Uh, it's sales day today.

00:31:18What's that?

00:31:19It's when everything is on sale in Paris.

00:31:21Uh, it's place a year.

00:31:23Au revoir, merci.

00:31:24Au revoir, merci.

00:31:25Um, all right, let's go shopping.

00:31:27No, no, no, no, no, that's a bad idea.

00:31:29I don't want to inflate that on you.

00:31:30No?

00:31:31It's madness.

00:31:31Let's just go this garden path.

00:31:33All right.

00:31:34It's really nice.

00:31:35All right, all right, that sounds better than shopping, actually.

00:31:37I mean, not that I wouldn't do whatever you wanted, but.

00:31:39You know, sometimes I don't even need to buy anything.

00:31:42I just get high on trying on and looking at things.

00:31:45Yeah, well, a therapist would tell you.

00:31:46Is this where we're going?

00:31:47Yeah.

00:31:47A therapist would tell you, that's all good.

00:31:49Really?

00:31:50Yeah.

00:31:50Are you ever in therapy?

00:31:51Oh, no.

00:31:52Do I seem like I'm in therapy?

00:31:54I'm kidding.

00:31:55Does it help your sex problems?

00:31:57My sex problems?

00:31:59No, I'm kidding.

00:32:00Ah, come on, tell me the truth.

00:32:01I mean, we didn't have any problems that night.

00:32:02No, I'm kidding.

00:32:03We didn't even have sex anywhere.

00:32:05But that's a joke, right?

00:32:06No, we didn't.

00:32:08Well, what are we...

00:32:08I mean, that was the whole thing.

00:32:09No, of course we did.

00:32:10No, no, no, no, we didn't.

00:32:11You didn't have a condom, and I never have sex with that one,

00:32:13especially on a one-night thing.

00:32:14I'm extremely paranoid about my health.

00:32:15There's no way I would have...

00:32:16Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:32:16I'm finding this very scary that you don't remember what happened.

00:32:19No, listen, okay?

00:32:20I didn't write an entire book, but I kept a journal, okay?

00:32:23And I wrote the whole night in it.

00:32:25That's what I meant, you idealizing the night.

00:32:28All right, listen, I even remember what brand of condom we used, okay?

00:32:32Okay, that's disgusting.

00:32:32I don't want to hear it.

00:32:33It's not disgusting.

00:32:34No.

00:32:34What?

00:32:36Okay, you know what?

00:32:37When I get home, I'll check my journal from 94, but I know I'm right.

00:32:43Wait a minute.

00:32:44What?

00:32:45Was it in the cemetery?

00:32:47No.

00:32:48No, we went to the cemetery in the afternoon.

00:32:51It was in the park, very late at night.

00:32:54In the park.

00:32:55Wait a minute.

00:32:56Wait a minute.

00:32:56I can't, I can't.

00:32:58I can't.

00:32:59No, I...

00:33:00Is that forgettable?

00:33:01I mean, you really don't remember.

00:33:02In the park.

00:33:03Okay, wait a minute.

00:33:04I think you might be right.

00:33:06All right, no, you're messing with me now.

00:33:07No.

00:33:08Are you messing with me?

00:33:09Okay, no, I'm sorry.

00:33:10I think you're, I mean, you're right, okay?

00:33:12Sometimes I put things in drawers inside my head and forget about it.

00:33:16I guess it's less painful to put certain things away than to live with it.

00:33:19I'm sorry.

00:33:20That night was like a sad memory for you?

00:33:22No, I didn't mean that night in particular.

00:33:23I just meant certain things I better have forgotten.

00:33:25I remember that night better than I do entire years.

00:33:29Me too.

00:33:30Really?

00:33:31Well, I thought I did.

00:33:36But maybe I, maybe I put it away because of the fact that my grandmother's funeral was

00:33:41the day we were supposed to meet again.

00:33:43Yeah, right?

00:33:43It was a tough day for me, but it must have been worse for you.

00:33:46It was unreal.

00:33:47I remember looking at her dead body in the coffin.

00:33:51I had a beautiful hand, so warm, so sweet, that used to hold me, but...

00:33:55Nothing in that coffin resembled what I remembered of her.

00:33:59All the warmth was gone.

00:34:01And then I was crying, so confused if I was crying because I was never going to see her

00:34:05again, or never going to see you again, or...

00:34:09I'm sorry.

00:34:10No, I'm sorry.

00:34:11No, I'm sorry to go on like this.

00:34:12I've been a little down this week.

00:34:13I don't want to...

00:34:14Why?

00:34:15I don't know.

00:34:15Nothing bad.

00:34:16Just reading your book, maybe?

00:34:19No, but thinking of how hopeful I was that summer and fall, and since then it's been kind

00:34:24of a...

00:34:25I don't know.

00:34:28Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past.

00:34:33What?

00:34:35Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past.

00:34:37Can I put that on a bumper sticker?

00:34:38No, you know what?

00:34:39If you wrote a book about our night, that'd be a good title.

00:34:42Yeah, and it would be a totally different book, right?

00:34:44Yeah, there'd be no sex.

00:34:45Yeah.

00:34:45But you know what?

00:34:47What?

00:34:48Now that we've met again, we can change our memory of that December 16th.

00:34:52It no longer has that sad ending of us never seeing each other again, right?

00:34:56Yeah, you're right.

00:34:57I mean, I guess the memory's never finished, as long as you're alive.

00:35:01Yeah, I know.

00:35:02I have this memory from my childhood that I realized recently never happened.

00:35:07What?

00:35:07Well, when I was eight or nine, my mom was so paranoid when I was walking home from my piano

00:35:12to do a lesson at night, she would always warn me about dirty old men giving me candies

00:35:16and then showing me their peepies.

00:35:18She was so obsessed with it that later in life, you know, I had this image in my head

00:35:23that this really happened, to the point that I even associated sex with that walk home.

00:35:29I mean, and sometimes even now, when I'm having sex, I see myself walking down that street.

00:35:38I swear.

00:35:39It's so weird, right?

00:35:40Well, is that street nearby?

00:35:41I mean, could...

00:35:42Could...

00:35:42No.

00:35:44Very far.

00:35:47Did you ever keep a journal when you were a kid?

00:35:50Hmm.

00:35:50Yeah.

00:35:51I don't know.

00:35:52I guess.

00:35:54It's funny.

00:35:55I read one of mine from 83 the other day.

00:35:58Yeah.

00:35:58And what really surprised me is that I was dealing with life the same way I am now.

00:36:03I was much more hopeful and naive, but the core and the way I was feeling things is exactly

00:36:09the same.

00:36:09It made me realize I haven't changed much at all.

00:36:12Yeah, I don't think anybody does.

00:36:14I mean, people don't want to admit it, but it's like we just, we have these innate set

00:36:17points.

00:36:18Uh-huh.

00:36:18You know, and it's like nothing much that happens to us changes our disposition.

00:36:22Really?

00:36:22You believe that?

00:36:23I think so.

00:36:24I read this study where they followed people who'd won the lottery and people who'd become

00:36:27paraplegics, right?

00:36:29I mean, you'd think that, you know, one extreme is going to make you euphoric and the other

00:36:33suicidal.

00:36:34But the study shows that after about six months, right, as soon as people got used to their

00:36:39new situation, they were more or less the same.

00:36:41The same.

00:36:42Well, yeah, like if they were basically an optimistic, jovial person, they're now an

00:36:47optimistic, jovial person in a wheelchair.

00:36:49If they're a petty, miserable asshole, okay, they're a petty, miserable asshole with a new

00:36:52Cadillac, a house, and a boat.

00:36:55So you'd now be forever depressed no matter what great things happen in my life?

00:36:58Definitely.

00:36:59Great.

00:36:59No, come on.

00:37:01Are you depressed now?

00:37:02No, no, I'm not depressed.

00:37:04But sometimes I worry that I'll get to the end of my life feeling I haven't done all I

00:37:08wanted to do.

00:37:09Well, what do you want to do?

00:37:11I, um, I want to paint more.

00:37:14I want to play my guitar every day.

00:37:16I want to learn Chinese.

00:37:17I want to write more songs.

00:37:19There's so many things I want to do, and I end up doing not much.

00:37:25All right.

00:37:25Well, let me ask you this.

00:37:26Do you believe in, like, ghosts or spirits?

00:37:29Uh, no.

00:37:32No?

00:37:33No.

00:37:34Okay, uh, what about reincarnation?

00:37:36Not at all.

00:37:38God?

00:37:38No.

00:37:40That sounds terrible.

00:37:42No, no, no.

00:37:42But at the same time, I don't want to be one of those people that don't believe in any kind

00:37:46of magic, you know.

00:37:46So then astrology.

00:37:48Yes, of course.

00:37:49There we go.

00:37:49I mean, that makes sense, right?

00:37:50I mean, obviously.

00:37:51You're a Scorpio, I'm a Sag, we get along.

00:37:55No, no, no.

00:37:57There's, uh, there's an Einstein quote I really, really like.

00:38:00He said, um, if you don't believe in any kind of magic or mystery, you're basically as good

00:38:05as that.

00:38:06Yeah, I like that.

00:38:07I've always felt there was some kind of mystical core to the universe, you know, but more recently,

00:38:11I've started to think that, that me, you know, my personality, whatever, that I don't

00:38:17have any permanent place here, you know, in eternity or whatever, you know, and the more

00:38:21I think that, I can't go through life saying that this is no big deal, you know.

00:38:25I mean, this is it.

00:38:26This is actually happening.

00:38:27What do you think is interesting?

00:38:28What do you think is funny?

00:38:29What do you think is important?

00:38:31You know, every day is our last.

00:38:33When I feel that way, I usually call my mom to tell her how much I love her.

00:38:37Yeah.

00:38:37And she's always, are you okay?

00:38:40Do you have cancer?

00:38:41Are you going to commit suicide?

00:38:43It's almost not worth it.

00:38:47So, uh, so what about us?

00:38:50What about us?

00:38:51No, what I mean is, um, if we were both going to die tonight.

00:38:55What, like if the apocalypse was coming?

00:38:56No, no, that's too dramatic.

00:38:57But what if, you know, just the two of us were going to die?

00:39:01I mean, would we talk about your book, the environment, or?

00:39:05If today was our last day.

00:39:06Yeah, what would we talk about?

00:39:07What would you tell me, for example?

00:39:09Well, uh...

00:39:10That's hard.

00:39:10No, well, no, I'll do it, I'll do it.

00:39:12I definitely would stop talking about my book.

00:39:15I have to admit, I would probably drop the environment.

00:39:17Okay.

00:39:17But I would still want to talk about, you know, the magic in the universe.

00:39:21I just want to do it from a...

00:39:23What?

00:39:25A hotel room, you know, in between sessions of us, uh, wildly fucking until we die.

00:39:31Wow.

00:39:32Well, why waste time with a hotel room?

00:39:34Why not do it right there on a bench?

00:39:36All right.

00:39:37All right.

00:39:38Come here.

00:39:39Come here.

00:39:39All right.

00:39:40Come here.

00:39:40Okay.

00:39:41We're not going to die tonight.

00:39:42All right.

00:39:43Too bad.

00:39:44Yeah.

00:39:44I'm sorry.

00:39:45That was an extreme example.

00:39:47I was...

00:39:47I'm sorry.

00:39:47Okay.

00:39:48All right.

00:39:49What I...

00:39:50But I...

00:39:51My point was, you know, to truly communicate with people is very hard to do.

00:39:54No.

00:39:55I know.

00:39:56I mean, most of our...

00:39:57Most of our day-to-day exchanges...

00:39:58Yeah.

00:39:59I know.

00:40:00I mean, not to bring everything back to sex.

00:40:01But why not?

00:40:02For example, this friend of mine, she was talking about she and her boyfriend problems in bed.

00:40:07Right.

00:40:08And how when they had been dating for a year, she started telling him what he could do to

00:40:13please her more.

00:40:14And it totally freaked him out.

00:40:15Why?

00:40:15Totally.

00:40:16Well, he felt all threatened and he thought it meant she was a bad lover.

00:40:19Maybe she shouldn't have waited so long, you know, like after a year.

00:40:21Well, yeah, but men are so easily offended.

00:40:23Oh, what?

00:40:24More than women, you think?

00:40:25Oh, definitely on that subject.

00:40:26You think so?

00:40:26Yeah.

00:40:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:40:28Well, maybe it's because, you know, men are easier to, you know...

00:40:34To please?

00:40:35Well, I don't know.

00:40:36No, they are.

00:40:37They're definitely.

00:40:38Definitely.

00:40:39Anyway, this friend of mine, she was telling me that next time she dates another man, she's

00:40:42going to make a little questionnaire about what they like and dislike.

00:40:46Oh, like written down or out loud?

00:40:48Yeah, yeah, written down.

00:40:49Mostly written down.

00:40:50But it wouldn't be just, you know, yes or no.

00:40:52It would be a bit more complex than that.

00:40:54Like, for example, if the question is, are you into S&M?

00:40:57Uh, the answer could be no, but a good spanking once in a while doesn't hurt.

00:41:02Right?

00:41:03Right.

00:41:04Or like, uh, what do you, so do you like talking dirty in bed?

00:41:06That kind of thing?

00:41:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:41:08But not just like any dirty talk, just like what specific word would you like to hear,

00:41:12you know?

00:41:13Right.

00:41:14What, me?

00:41:15Well, yeah.

00:41:16Like, for example, like what specific word would you like to hear?

00:41:17I don't know.

00:41:18Um, what do you feel about the word pussy?

00:41:22I love it.

00:41:25Good.

00:41:26It's amazing what perverts we've become in the past nine years.

00:41:30I know.

00:41:31Well, at least now we don't have to pretend that each new sexual experience is like a

00:41:34life-altering event.

00:41:35I know, by now I know you've stuck it in so many places it's like about to fall off,

00:41:39right?

00:41:40Yeah, and you know, I can't realistically expect you've become anything but a total hoe

00:41:43at this point.

00:41:44Yeah, thank you.

00:41:45Well, I'm sorry.

00:41:46That's true.

00:41:47What can you do?

00:41:48What can you do?

00:41:49So, what kind of songs do you write?

00:41:54I don't know, you do that.

00:41:55What kind?

00:41:56Yeah, sure.

00:41:57I don't know, just songs.

00:41:58Like some are about, you know, people.

00:42:00Uh, relationships, what's about my cat?

00:42:02Sing one.

00:42:03Come on.

00:42:04No, I can't.

00:42:05I don't have a guitar.

00:42:06I mean, come on.

00:42:07I'll get power.

00:42:08No, no, no.

00:42:09I'm not singing a song without a guitar.

00:42:10You're nuts.

00:42:11Why not?

00:42:12It's...

00:42:13No, okay.

00:42:14Not now.

00:42:15No.

00:42:16Now, when?

00:42:17Well, you want to meet here in six months with a guitar?

00:42:19You know, I'll fly all the way over here.

00:42:20You may or may not make the metro, you know?

00:42:22Okay, that's funny.

00:42:23Okay, that's...

00:42:24Now, we've got to get going back to the bookstore.

00:42:25We'll be all right.

00:42:26I'm going to miss you flight.

00:42:27Come on, let's go.

00:42:28All right, all right.

00:42:29You can walk down La Senne.

00:42:30It's a nice thing.

00:42:31Okay.

00:42:32So, you're flying back to New York?

00:42:34Yeah.

00:42:35Yeah.

00:42:38So, I read in that article that you're married with a kid.

00:42:41That's great.

00:42:42Yeah, he's, he's, um, he's four.

00:42:45Uh-huh, what's his name?

00:42:46Henry, little Hank.

00:42:47He's so much fun.

00:42:48Oh, wow.

00:42:49I'm sure.

00:42:50And your wife, what does she do?

00:42:51She teaches elementary school.

00:42:53Do you, do you have kids?

00:42:55Yes, too.

00:42:56Shit!

00:42:57What?

00:42:58I left them in the car with the windows up.

00:42:59It was six months ago.

00:43:00You can be okay.

00:43:01No, I'm kidding.

00:43:02No, but, um, I want to have kids someday.

00:43:04I'm just not ready yet.

00:43:05No?

00:43:06Yeah, I'm in a good relationship, though.

00:43:07Oh, yeah, that's good.

00:43:08Yeah?

00:43:09What's he do?

00:43:10He's a photojournalist.

00:43:11He does, uh, war coverage.

00:43:13Well, he's away a lot, which in a way is good for me

00:43:15because I'm so busy.

00:43:16Yeah, but isn't that dangerous?

00:43:17I mean, aren't a lot of those guys getting killed these days?

00:43:20He promises me he doesn't take risks, but I often worry.

00:43:23He goes in this trance when he starts to photograph something.

00:43:26What do you mean?

00:43:27Well, once we were in New Delhi, and we passed a bomb

00:43:30that was lying down on the sidewalk.

00:43:31A bomb?

00:43:32A bomb.

00:43:33A bomb.

00:43:34A homeless.

00:43:35All right.

00:43:36Anyway, like, he looked like he needed help, but his first reaction was to photograph him.

00:43:39He went, like, really close to his face, fixing his color to make it look better.

00:43:42He was, like, totally detached from the person.

00:43:44You ever thought you kind of have to be like that to be good at that job?

00:43:47Yeah, I mean, I'm not, you know, I'm not judging him for it.

00:43:50You know, what he does is essential and incredible.

00:43:52All I'm saying is that I could never do it.

00:43:54Let's get on that boat.

00:43:55Come on.

00:43:56No.

00:43:57No, come on, it'll be fun.

00:43:58You don't have time.

00:43:59We've got to go.

00:44:00It looks like they're about to take off.

00:44:01Look, I've got 15 more minutes.

00:44:02Do you have a cell phone?

00:44:03Yeah.

00:44:04All right.

00:44:05Well, look, I've got that driver guy's number, and I can call him,

00:44:06and then they can pick us up at whatever the next stop is.

00:44:08You know, I've never been on those boats.

00:44:09It's for tourists.

00:44:10It's embarrassing.

00:44:11Come on.

00:44:12Okay.

00:44:13All right.

00:44:14C'est bon, vous pouvez rentrer?

00:44:15Oui, oui.

00:44:16De tickets, s'il vous plaît.

00:44:17No, I'll get it, I'll get it.

00:44:18Non, non, c'est bon.

00:44:19All right.

00:44:20All right, all right.

00:44:21C'est bon qui s'arrête le prochain arrête?

00:44:23C'est bon.

00:44:24Okay.

00:44:26So you're in love with that guy?

00:44:28What guy?

00:44:29The war photographer.

00:44:31Merci.

00:44:32Yes, of course.

00:44:33Merci.

00:44:36So do you have that cell phone?

00:44:38Oh, yeah.

00:44:39Okay, let's see.

00:44:41Okay.

00:44:42All right, what do I tell him?

00:44:43Yeah.

00:44:44Tell him to pick you up at K-Henri IV.

00:44:46Oh, shit.

00:44:47K...

00:44:48K...

00:44:49Henri IV.

00:44:50K-Henri IV.

00:44:51Henri IV.

00:44:52Henri IV.

00:44:54What's wrong with you?

00:44:55No.

00:44:56You want me to...

00:44:57Henri IV.

00:44:58Henry IV?

00:44:59Yes.

00:45:00Come on, why don't you say so?

00:45:01I'm sorry.

00:45:02Okay.

00:45:11Uh, yeah.

00:45:12Is this Philippe?

00:45:13Yeah.

00:45:14Philippe, this is Jesse Wallace.

00:45:15Uh, let's see.

00:45:16Yeah.

00:45:17Well, listen.

00:45:18I'm, uh, I'm on one of those boats, right?

00:45:20Um, and we're gonna arrive at, at, uh, Henry IV.

00:45:24At Port Henry IV.

00:45:25You know what, you know what that is?

00:45:26All right.

00:45:27Great.

00:45:28And you have my bags, right?

00:45:29Yeah.

00:45:30So we'll be there in, I don't know.

00:45:31It's the next stop.

00:45:32Okay.

00:45:33Au revoir.

00:45:34Okay?

00:45:35Yeah, yeah.

00:45:36Oh, wow.

00:45:37Notre Dame, man.

00:45:38Check that out.

00:45:39Oh, wow.

00:45:40I heard this story once about when the, the Germans were occupying Paris and they had

00:45:44to retreat back.

00:45:45They wired Notre Dame to blow.

00:45:46You know, but they had to, they had to leave one way.

00:45:48Oh, wow.

00:45:49Oh, wow.

00:45:50Oh, wow.

00:45:51Oh, wow.

00:45:52Oh, wow.

00:45:53Oh, wow.

00:45:54Oh, wow.

00:45:55Oh, wow.

00:45:56Oh, wow.

00:45:57They had to, they had to leave one guy in charge of hitting the switch.

00:46:01And the guy, the soldier, he, he couldn't do it.

00:46:04You know, he just sat there and knocked out by how beautiful the place was.

00:46:08And then when the Allied troops came in, they found all the explosives just lying there.

00:46:12And the switch unturned.

00:46:14And they found the same thing.

00:46:15Sacré-Cœur, Eiffel Tower.

00:46:17A couple other places, I think.

00:46:19Is that true?

00:46:21I don't know.

00:46:23I always liked the story, though.

00:46:25Yeah, that's a great story.

00:46:27But you have to think that Notre Dame will be gone one day.

00:46:30There used to be another church or cathedral at the same, right there.

00:46:33What, right in the same spot?

00:46:34Yeah.

00:46:35Yeah, this is great.

00:46:39I've never done this.

00:46:40Yeah.

00:46:41I forget about how beautiful Paris is.

00:46:43Well, it's not so bad being a tourist.

00:46:45Thank you for getting me on the boat.

00:46:46Oh, you're welcome.

00:46:47You know, I think that book that I wrote, in a way, was like building something so that I wouldn't forget the details of the time that we spent together.

00:46:55You know, like just as a reminder that once we really did meet, you know, that this was real, this happened.

00:47:02I'm happy you're saying that because, I mean, I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like this, you know.

00:47:10People just have an affair or even entire relationships.

00:47:13They break up and they forget.

00:47:15They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals.

00:47:19I feel like I was never able to forget anyone I've been with because each person has their own specific qualities.

00:47:30You can never replace anyone.

00:47:32What is lost is lost.

00:47:36Each relationship when it ends really damages me.

00:47:38I never fully recover.

00:47:40That's why I'm very careful with getting involved because it hurts too much.

00:47:45Even getting late, I actually don't do that because I will miss on the person the most mundane things.

00:47:52Like I'm obsessed with little things.

00:47:55Maybe I'm crazy.

00:47:56When I was a little girl, my mom told me that I was always late to school.

00:48:00One day she followed me to see why.

00:48:03I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees rolling on the sidewalk or ants crossing the road,

00:48:10the way a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trying to.

00:48:14Little things.

00:48:16I think it's the same with people.

00:48:18I see in them little details so specific to each of them that move me and that I miss and will always miss.

00:48:25You can never replace anyone because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details.

00:48:31Like I remember the way your beard has a bit of red in it and how the sun was making it glow that morning right before you left.

00:48:46I remember that and I missed it.

00:48:50Really crazy, right?

00:48:52Alright, now I know for sure.

00:48:53You want to know why I wrote that stupid book?

00:48:55Why?

00:48:56So that you might come to a reading in Paris and I could walk up to you and ask where the fuck were you.

00:49:03You think I'd be here today?

00:49:06I'm serious.

00:49:07I think I wrote it in a way to try to find you.

00:49:10Okay, that's...

00:49:12I know that's not true but that's sweet of you to say.

00:49:14I think it is true.

00:49:15What do you think the chances were of us ever meeting again?

00:49:18After that December I'd say almost zero.

00:49:21But we're not real anyway, right?

00:49:24We're just characters in that old lady's dream.

00:49:28She's on a death bed fantasizing about her youth.

00:49:31So of course we had to meet again.

00:49:33Oh God.

00:49:34Why weren't you there in Vienna?

00:49:37I told you why.

00:49:39Well I know why.

00:49:40I just...

00:49:41I wish you would have been.

00:49:43Our lives might have been so much different.

00:49:46Do you think so?

00:49:48I actually do.

00:49:50Maybe not.

00:49:51Maybe we would have hated each other eventually.

00:49:54Oh what?

00:49:55Like we hate each other now?

00:49:57You know maybe we're...

00:50:00We're only good at...

00:50:02Brief encounters.

00:50:03Walking around in European cities.

00:50:05In warm climate.

00:50:07Oh God.

00:50:08Why don't we exchange phone numbers and stuff?

00:50:11Why didn't we do that?

00:50:13Because we were young and stupid.

00:50:15You think we still are?

00:50:17I guess when you're young you just believe there'll be many people with whom you connect with.

00:50:23Later in life you realize it only happens a few times.

00:50:26Yeah and you can screw it up.

00:50:28You know?

00:50:29Misconnect.

00:50:30Well the past is the past.

00:50:31It was meant to be that way.

00:50:32What?

00:50:33You really believe that?

00:50:34That everything's faded?

00:50:35Well...

00:50:36You know the world might be less free than we think.

00:50:39Yeah?

00:50:40Yeah.

00:50:41When given these exact circumstances that's what will happen every time.

00:50:46Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen, you'll get water every time.

00:50:49No, no, no.

00:50:50I mean what if your grandmother had lived a week longer?

00:50:52You know?

00:50:53Or passed away a week earlier.

00:50:54Days even.

00:50:55You know?

00:50:56Things might have been different.

00:50:57I believe that.

00:50:58No you can't think like that.

00:50:59I mean I know you shouldn't on most things but...

00:51:01It's just...

00:51:02It's...

00:51:03On this one it seemed like something was off.

00:51:05You know?

00:51:06I mean...

00:51:07In the months leading up to my wedding, okay?

00:51:09I was thinking about you all the time.

00:51:11I mean even on my way there.

00:51:12I'm in the car and a buddy of mine is driving me downtown.

00:51:15And I'm staring out the window and I think I see you.

00:51:18Not far from the church, right?

00:51:20Folding up an umbrella and walking into a deli on the corner of 13th and Broadway.

00:51:26And I thought I was going crazy, you know?

00:51:29But now I think it probably was you.

00:51:31I lived on 11th and Broadway.

00:51:34You see?

00:51:37So what is it like to be married?

00:51:40You haven't talked much about that.

00:51:42I haven't?

00:51:44How weird.

00:51:46I don't know.

00:51:47We met, you know, when I was in college.

00:51:50And we broke up and got back together for a period of years.

00:51:55And then, um...

00:51:57What?

00:51:58We were sort of back together and she was pregnant.

00:52:02So marriage.

00:52:04What is she like?

00:52:06She's a great teacher, a good mom.

00:52:09She's smart, pretty.

00:52:12You know, I remember thinking at the time that so many of the men that I admired most,

00:52:17you know?

00:52:18That their lives were dedicated to something greater than themselves.

00:52:22So you got married because men you admired were married?

00:52:26No, no, no.

00:52:27It's more like I had this idea of my best self, you know?

00:52:32And I wanted to pursue that even if it might have been overriding my honest self.

00:52:37You know what I'm saying?

00:52:38I mean, it's funny, like, in the moment I remember thinking that it didn't much matter,

00:52:43the who of it all.

00:52:44I mean, that nobody's gonna be everything to you.

00:52:46And that ultimately it's just a simple action of committing yourself, you know?

00:52:50Meeting your responsibilities that matters.

00:52:53I mean, what is love, right, if it's not respect, trust, admiration?

00:52:57And I felt all those things.

00:53:00So, cut to the present tense and I feel like I'm running a small nursery with somebody I

00:53:04used to date, you know?

00:53:06I mean, I'm like a monk, you know?

00:53:08I mean, I've had sex less than ten times in the last four years.

00:53:14What, what, what?

00:53:15Are you laughing at me?

00:53:16No.

00:53:17It sounds pathetic?

00:53:18What ministry do the monk have sex ten times?

00:53:20Okay, all right, you're right.

00:53:21Better than most monks, all right?

00:53:23But I do.

00:53:24I feel like if somebody were to touch me, you know, I would dissolve into molecules,

00:53:27you know?

00:53:28Well, we're here.

00:53:29I'm good to go.

00:53:30Come on.

00:53:43I'm sorry to hear that, you know, you're not that happy with your marriage.

00:53:50Well, this friend of mine, she's a shrink and...

00:53:53Yeah, how's she doing?

00:53:54She's a mess, but...

00:53:56No, she, she was telling me that she's been dealing with a lot of couples that are breaking

00:53:59up for the same exact reason.

00:54:00What reason is that?

00:54:01Well, all this couple expected after a few years of living together for the passion,

00:54:05that consuming desire to be the same than in the beginning.

00:54:07Yeah, right.

00:54:08It's impossible.

00:54:09No, I know that.

00:54:10You're not.

00:54:11Otherwise, we would end up with aneurysm if we were in that constant state of excitement,

00:54:13right?

00:54:14We would end up doing nothing at all with our lives.

00:54:16Do you think you would have finished your book if you were fucking someone every five

00:54:19minutes?

00:54:20I might have welcomed the challenge.

00:54:21No.

00:54:22But you know, it's natural for your wife after the birth of your son.

00:54:26No.

00:54:27She has to give all her love to the little one.

00:54:28Of course.

00:54:29Of course.

00:54:30Imagine if she was totally obsessed with sex, riding you like a wild cat.

00:54:32That wouldn't make any sense, right?

00:54:33No, no, no.

00:54:34Everything you're saying makes sense.

00:54:35It's, it's, it's not about sex.

00:54:37No, I know.

00:54:38It's obvious.

00:54:39I, um, you know, couples are so confused lately.

00:54:45I, I think it must be that men need to feel essential and they don't anymore.

00:54:52Because it's been imprinted in their head for so many years that they had to be the provider.

00:54:57Like, I, I'm a, I'm a strong, independent woman in, in my professional life.

00:55:01I don't need a man to feed me, but I still need a man to love me and that I could love,

00:55:05you know.

00:55:07So, uh, you drive us here.

00:55:09Yeah.

00:55:10Well, I guess this is goodbye and, uh, you better give me your...

00:55:13Well, no, no, no.

00:55:14Why don't we just give you a ride home, wherever you're going, huh?

00:55:16Well, I can take the metro.

00:55:17I'm fine.

00:55:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:55:19I, my flight's not until 10, right?

00:55:20They've got me arriving two hours earlier.

00:55:22This way we can keep talking.

00:55:23No, no, no.

00:55:24Monsieur.

00:55:25Can...

00:55:26Can...

00:55:27Yes.

00:55:28Yes.

00:55:29Yes.

00:55:30Yes.

00:55:31Yes.

00:55:32Yes.

00:55:33Yes.

00:55:34Yes.

00:55:35You can leave me at the metro, uh, the Chateau d'eau.

00:55:38It'll be fine.

00:55:39Yes.

00:55:41You told him where you are and all the...

00:55:42Yes.

00:55:43Yes.

00:55:44He knows where he's going?

00:55:49Yes.

00:55:50Glad somebody does.

00:55:52No, but this is better than the metro, right?

00:55:54Definitely.

00:55:55I was thinking, for me it's better I don't romanticize things as much anymore.

00:56:02I was suffering so much all the time.

00:56:05I still have lots of dreams, but they're not in regard to my love life.

00:56:08It doesn't make me sad, it's just the way it is.

00:56:10Is that why you're in a relationship with somebody who's never around?

00:56:14Huh.

00:56:15Yes, obviously I can't deal with the day-to-day life of a relationship.

00:56:19Yeah, we have, you know, this exciting time together and then he leaves and I miss him,

00:56:23but at least I'm not dying inside.

00:56:25When someone is always around me I'm like suffocating.

00:56:27No, wait, you just said that you need to love and be loved.

00:56:31Yeah, but when I do, it quickly makes me nauseous.

00:56:34It's a disaster.

00:56:36I mean, I'm really happy only when I'm on my own.

00:56:39Even being alone, it's better than sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely.

00:56:44It's not so easy for me to be all romantic.

00:56:46You start off that way and after you've been screwed over a few times,

00:56:50you forget about all your delusional ideas and you just take what comes into your life.

00:56:55That's not even true. I haven't been screwed over.

00:56:58I've just had too many blah relationships.

00:57:01They weren't mean, they cared for me, but there were no real connection or excitement.

00:57:06At least not from my side.

00:57:08God, I'm sorry. Is it really that bad?

00:57:11It's not, right?

00:57:15You know, it's not even that.

00:57:17I was fine until I read your fucking book.

00:57:21It stirred shit up, you know?

00:57:23It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things.

00:57:28And now it's like, I don't believe in anything that relates to love.

00:57:32I don't feel things for people anymore.

00:57:34In a way, I put all my romanticism into that one night and I was never able to feel all this again.

00:57:41Like, somehow this night took things away from me and I expressed them to you and you took them with you.

00:57:47It made me feel cold, like if love wasn't for me.

00:57:49I don't believe that. I don't believe that.

00:57:52You know what?

00:57:54Reality and love are almost contradictory for me.

00:57:57It's funny.

00:57:59Every single of my exes, then they're married.

00:58:02Men go out with me, we break up, and then they get married.

00:58:05And later they call me to thank me for teaching them what love is.

00:58:08Oh, God.

00:58:09And that I taught them to care and respect women.

00:58:11I think I'm one of those guys.

00:58:12You know, I want to kill them.

00:58:14Why didn't they ask me to marry them?

00:58:15I would have said no, but at least they could have asked.

00:58:18But it's my fault.

00:58:19I know it's my fault because I never felt it was the right man.

00:58:22Never.

00:58:23But what does it mean, the right man?

00:58:24The love of your life?

00:58:25The concept is absurd.

00:58:26The idea that we can only be complete with another person is evil, right?

00:58:30Can I talk?

00:58:31You know, I guess I've been heartbroken too many times, and then I recovered.

00:58:35So now, you know, from the start, I make no effort.

00:58:38Because I know it's not going to work out.

00:58:39I know it's not going to work out.

00:58:40You can't do that.

00:58:41You can't live your life trying to avoid pain at the expensive.

00:58:43Okay.

00:58:44You know what?

00:58:45Those are words.

00:58:46I've got to get away from you.

00:58:47Stop the car.

00:58:48I want to get out.

00:58:49No, no, no.

00:58:50You know what?

00:58:51It's being around you, okay?

00:58:52Don't touch me, you know?

00:58:53I want to get on a cab.

00:58:54Monsieur, arrêtez-vous.

00:58:55No, no, no, no.

00:58:56Just a foot.

00:58:57Just a foot.

00:58:58No, no, no, no.

00:58:59Keep going.

00:59:00I'm just so happy.

00:59:02Just keep going.

00:59:03All right.

00:59:04Look, I'm just so happy, all right, to be with you.

00:59:09I am.

00:59:10I'm so glad you didn't forget about me.

00:59:12Okay?

00:59:13No, I didn't.

00:59:14And it pisses me off, okay?

00:59:16You come here to Paris, all romantic and married, okay?

00:59:20Screw you.

00:59:21Don't get me wrong.

00:59:22I'm not trying to get you or anything.

00:59:24I mean, all I need is a married man.

00:59:27There's been so much water under the bridge.

00:59:29It's not even about you anymore.

00:59:30It's about that time, that moment in time that is forever gone.

00:59:33I don't know.

00:59:34You say all that, but you didn't even remember having sex.

00:59:36So...

00:59:37Of course I remembered.

00:59:39You did?

00:59:40Yes.

00:59:41Women pretend things like that.

00:59:42I don't know.

00:59:43They do?

00:59:44Yeah, what was I supposed to say?

00:59:45That I remember the wine in the park and us looking up at the stars fading away as the sun came up.

00:59:54We had sex twice, you idiot.

00:59:57All right, you know what?

01:00:00I'm just happy to see you, even if you've become an angry, manic depressive activist.

01:00:07I still like you.

01:00:08I still enjoy being around you.

01:00:09Oh, and I feel the same.

01:00:12I'm sorry.

01:00:13I don't know what happened.

01:00:15I just...

01:00:16I had to let it all out.

01:00:17Don't worry about it.

01:00:18I'm so miserable in my love life, in my relationship.

01:00:21I always act like, you know, I'm detached, but I'm dying inside.

01:00:26I'm dying because I'm so numb.

01:00:28I don't feel pain or excitement.

01:00:29I'm not even bitter.

01:00:30I'm just...

01:00:31You think you're the one dying inside?

01:00:34My life is 24-7 bad.

01:00:38I'm sorry.

01:00:39No, no.

01:00:40I mean, the only happiness I get is when I'm out with my son.

01:00:43I've been to marriage counseling.

01:00:45I've done things I never thought I would have to do.

01:00:48I've lit candles, bought self-help books, lingerie.

01:00:51Did the candles help?

01:00:53Hell no.

01:00:54All right, I don't love her the way she needs to be loved,

01:00:56and I don't even see a future for us.

01:00:58But then I look at my little boy sitting at the table across from me,

01:01:03and I think I would suffer any torture to be with him for all the minutes of his life.

01:01:07You know, I don't want to miss out on one.

01:01:09But then there's no joy or laughter in my home, you know?

01:01:14And I don't want him growing up in that.

01:01:15Oh, no laughter.

01:01:17That's terrible.

01:01:18My parents have been together for 35 years,

01:01:20and even when they have a bad fight, they end up laughing like crazy.

01:01:22I just...

01:01:23I don't want to be one of those people who are getting divorced at 52

01:01:27and falling down into tears,

01:01:29admitting that they never really loved their spouse

01:01:31and they feel their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner.

01:01:36You know, I want a great life.

01:01:38I want her to have a great life.

01:01:40She deserves that.

01:01:41All right?

01:01:42But we're just living in the pretense of a marriage, responsibility,

01:01:45you know, all these just ideas of how people are supposed to live.

01:01:50And then I have these dreams.

01:01:57What dreams?

01:01:58Oh, I have these dreams, you know, that I'm standing on a platform,

01:02:05and you keep going by on a train,

01:02:09and you go by, and you go by, and you go by, you go by,

01:02:14and I wake up with the fucking sweats, you know?

01:02:16And then I have this other dream,

01:02:18oh, where you're pregnant in bed beside me naked,

01:02:22and I want so badly to touch you, but you tell me not to,

01:02:25and then you look away, and I touch you anyway,

01:02:30right on your ankle, and your skin is so soft

01:02:33that I wake up in sobs, all right?

01:02:36And my wife is sitting there looking at me,

01:02:38and I feel like I'm a million miles from her,

01:02:40and I know that there's something wrong, you know,

01:02:43that I can't keep living like this,

01:02:45that there's got to be something more to love than commitment.

01:02:48But then I think that I might have given up

01:02:51on the whole idea of romantic love,

01:02:54that I might have put it to bed that day when you weren't there.

01:02:59You know, I think I might have done that.

01:03:02Why are you telling me all this?

01:03:07I'm sorry. I don't know. I should have.

01:03:12I shouldn't have.

01:03:14You know, it's so weird.

01:03:16People think they're the only one going through tough times.

01:03:20I mean, when I read the article, I thought your life was perfect.

01:03:24A wife, a kid, a published author.

01:03:29Your personal life is more of a mess than mine.

01:03:33I'm sorry.

01:03:35Well, I'm glad it's good for something.

01:03:38Oh, monsieur, c'est là.

01:03:40Rentré dans la passe là.

01:03:42This is where you live?

01:03:43Yeah.

01:03:46So you're just relieved that I'm an even more deep shit than you are?

01:03:49Yes. You've made me feel better.

01:03:52Oh, good. I'm glad.

01:03:53No. No, I really wish you the best.

01:03:57It's not because I'm incapable of having a good relationship or a family

01:04:01that I wish everyone to be doomed like me.

01:04:03I'm sure you may be a great mom someday.

01:04:06Really? You think so?

01:04:07Oh, yeah. A few antidepressants, you know, you'll do great.

01:04:10Oh, no.

01:04:11Okay, say stop.

01:04:12Stop.

01:04:13Hey!

01:04:14Okay.

01:04:15You ready? Okay.

01:04:17Yeah.

01:04:28Sam, I want to try something.

01:04:30What?

01:04:35I want to see if you stay together or if you dissolve into molecules.

01:04:40What am I doing?

01:04:42Still here.

01:04:44Good. I like being here.

01:04:47Is this your apartment?

01:04:51Oh, no. I look down there.

01:04:53You look down there?

01:04:54Yeah.

01:04:55Uh, hey, uh, Monsieur, I'm gonna walk her to her door.

01:04:58Okay.

01:05:08This is incredible. This is where you live?

01:05:11Yeah.

01:05:12How long have you been here?

01:05:13Four years.

01:05:17So tell me, um...

01:05:18What?

01:05:19Is it all true about your dreams or did you just say that to hopefully get in my pants?

01:05:24Oh, I just said that to get in your pants.

01:05:25I use that all the time.

01:05:26Oh, okay.

01:05:27Yeah.

01:05:28Does it work?

01:05:29Eh, you know, sometimes.

01:05:30Here's my kitty.

01:05:31Oh, so cute.

01:05:32Look at him.

01:05:33You know what I love about this cat is that every morning I bring him down to the courtyard and

01:05:41every single morning he looks at everything like it was the first time.

01:05:45Every corner, every tree, every plant.

01:05:49Smells everything with his little cute nose.

01:05:52Oh, I love my kitty.

01:05:54I love my kitty.

01:05:56What's his name?

01:05:58Che.

01:05:59Che?

01:06:00Uh-huh.

01:06:01What?

01:06:02Call me.

01:06:03Oh, okay.

01:06:04No, Che in Argentina means hey.

01:06:06Okay.

01:06:07Yes.

01:06:08Oh, baby.

01:06:09Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

01:06:11You're cute.

01:06:12We're having a little party.

01:06:13It's so much fun.

01:06:14Qu'est-ce-tu nous a fait de bon pour ce soir?

01:06:15Un taboulé.

01:06:16Je le descends dans cinq minutes, hein?

01:06:17Salut.

01:06:18Uh, salut.

01:06:19So...

01:06:20So...

01:06:21C'est qui celui-là?

01:06:22Il est mignon.

01:06:23Il mange avec nous, hein?

01:06:24Non, il prend l'avion, hein?

01:06:25Tant pis, il voudra pas mes pattes aux pois chiches.

01:06:26Tant pis, il voudra pas mes pattes aux pois chiches.

01:06:27Tant pis.

01:06:28Ha!

01:06:29Ha!

01:06:30Ha!

01:06:31Ha!

01:06:32Ha!

01:06:33Ha!

01:06:34Ha!

01:06:35Ha!

01:06:36Ha!

01:06:37Ha!

01:06:38Ha!

01:06:39Ha!

01:06:40Ha!

01:06:41Ha!

01:06:42Ha!

01:06:43Ha!

01:06:44Ha!

01:06:45Ha!

01:06:46Ha!

01:06:47Ha!

01:06:48You know what I've...

01:06:49I was thinking...

01:06:52Would you play me one of your songs?

01:06:53You're gonna miss your flight!

01:06:54I won't!

01:06:55I won't!

01:06:56I won't!

01:06:57I'm gonna be sitting in the airport for over an hour reading the newspaper.

01:07:00Alright.

01:07:01Wishing you played me one of your songs.

01:07:03Państwo!

01:07:04Yeah.

01:07:05OK.

01:07:06But quickly, hein?

01:07:07OK!

01:07:09God, I love these old staircases.

01:07:39Okay.

01:07:57Hold this.

01:07:59Hey there, buddy.

01:08:01Che.

01:08:09Would you like some tea?

01:08:17Yeah, sure.

01:08:19Wow.

01:08:21Is chamomile okay?

01:08:23Yeah, great.

01:08:25Merci.

01:08:27Merci?

01:08:29You think my apartment is messy?

01:08:31No, no, no, no. Merci, merci beaucoup.

01:08:33Ah, merci.

01:08:35I meant to tell you,

01:08:37your French has improved a lot.

01:08:39Really?

01:08:41Yeah.

01:08:43Yeah, you've really mastered the language.

01:08:45All right, all right.

01:08:47What song are you gonna play me, huh?

01:08:49No, I can't.

01:08:51It's too embarrassing.

01:08:53It's been...

01:08:55Whoa, no way, no way.

01:08:57I came all the way up here, you cannot crap out of me now.

01:08:59One song, anything will be great.

01:09:01No, but listen, you're gonna laugh at me.

01:09:03You think so?

01:09:04Yes.

01:09:05Okay.

01:09:09What do you want to hear?

01:09:11I have, um...

01:09:12I have three songs in English.

01:09:14One's about my cat.

01:09:16One's about my ex-boyfriend.

01:09:19Well, ex-ex-boyfriend.

01:09:21And there's one about, um...

01:09:23Well, it's just, um...

01:09:26A little waltz.

01:09:27A waltz?

01:09:28Yeah.

01:09:29Play the waltz.

01:09:30I...

01:09:32I haven't played it in a while.

01:09:33Are you sure?

01:09:39All right, the waltz.

01:09:41All right.

01:09:42Let me sing you a waltz.

01:09:55Out of nowhere.

01:09:56Out of my thoughts.

01:09:57Let me sing you a waltz.

01:09:58Out of nowhere.

01:09:59Out of my thoughts.

01:10:00Let me sing you a waltz.

01:10:01About this one night's day.

01:10:02You were, for me that night, everything I always dreamt of in life.

01:10:04But now you're gone.

01:10:05You are far gone.

01:10:06You are far gone.

01:10:09All the way to your island frame.

01:10:10You are far gone.

01:10:11All the way to your island frame.

01:10:14It was, for you, just a one night thing.

01:10:15You were, for me that night, everything I always dreamt of in life.

01:10:21You were, for me that night, everything I always dreamt of in life.

01:10:26But now you're gone.

01:10:29You are far gone.

01:10:34All the way to your island frame.

01:10:35You are far better than you ever dreamt of in life.

01:10:37So you are far gone.

01:10:39I scene you're far from

01:10:42��位置.

01:10:44That process is around the world.

01:10:47You're far who's razor and cutting and cutting.

01:10:49All the way to your island frame.

01:10:52It was, for you, just a one night thing.

01:10:57But you were much more to me.

01:10:59Just so you know.

01:11:02I don't care what they say.

01:11:04try I just want another night even if it doesn't seem quite right you meant for

01:11:19me much more than anyone I've met before one single night with you little

01:11:31Jessie is worth a thousand with anybody I have no bitterness my sweet I'll never

01:11:44forget this one night thing even tomorrow in other arms my heart will stay yours until I die

01:11:59let me sing you a waltz out of nowhere out of my blues let me sing you a waltz

01:12:18about this lovely one night stand

01:12:25no one more one more please no no no no it was our deal one one song no no no no no you're gonna have

01:12:49you tea and then uh all right let me let me ask you one question you just plug that name in for

01:13:02every guy that comes up here oh yes of course what do you think that I wrote this song about you are

01:13:07your nuts oh is this you a little cross-eyed Celine yes it's funny is that your grandmother yeah

01:13:22oh wow you want some honey yeah sure

01:13:52did you ever see Nina Simone in concert

01:14:22no I never did can't believe she's gone I know it's so sad thanks

01:14:29I saw her twice in concert she was so great that's one of my favorite songs of hers

01:14:42she was so great she was so funny in concert she she would uh she would be right in the middle of a song and then

01:15:08you know stop and uh and uh and walk from the piano all the way to the edge of the stage like really slowly

01:15:15like really slowly

01:15:19and then she'd start talking to someone in the audience oh yeah baby oh yeah oh yeah

01:15:26mm-hmm oh I love you too

01:15:29and then she'd walk back took her time no hurry you know she had that big cute ass she would move whoo

01:15:40and then she would uh and then she would uh go back to the piano and play some more

01:15:47and then she would uh I don't know just start another song in the middle of another you know like stop again and be like oh you over there can you move that fan uh huh oh you're cute

01:16:02mm-hmm

01:16:11mm-hmm

01:16:25Oh, yeah.

01:16:31Baby, you are going to miss that plane.

01:16:36I know.

01:16:55You are going to miss that plane.

01:17:25You are going to miss that plane.

01:17:55Oh, let's live today anyway.

01:18:02Change me, change me, change me once again.

01:18:15Change me, change me, change me once again.

01:18:20And lucky day.

01:18:22Change me, change me once again.