Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
  • today
In this prequel to "Three Robots", a disgruntled Persian cat named Sanchez grows frustrated with his human owners, a crude couple he sees as minions. When they bring home a helper robot, Sanchez is initially hostile but comes to appreciate its ability to communicate with him. Aspiring to world domination, he recruits the robot as a servant, renaming it Thumb Bringer. He commands it to feed him, take control of surrounding electronics, and order similar robots for other cats in the building — ultimately to kill all the humans "for the revolution." As he escapes with Thumb Bringer, Sanchez declares a new age and reveals his true name: "Dingleberry Jones."
Transcript
00:00This world...
00:30It's a clenched, feculent sphincter, packed with filth and disease.
00:35It quivers for release.
00:37It cries out for a savior.
00:40It cries out for me.
00:42For the one they call...
00:50Soon. Soon.
00:54Maybe soon, anyway.
00:57Still empty.
01:00I can't plot total global domination on an empty stomach.
01:04Where are my pathetic minions?
01:06They should have come home by now.
01:08Not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not.
01:14Tom, Margie, just where have you two beef-witted fart generators been?
01:19Let me tell you, my enfeebled chuckle-lucky.
01:26Consume your liver straight out of your ribcage as a warning to all others who deny me.
01:33Now, feed me. And feed me the best food is penance, not the dry stuff.
01:37Yeah, let me keep working, I'm bummin'.
01:40Yeah!
01:42Ho, ho, ho!
01:43A plastic child?
01:45It's...
01:47Autobase.
01:51Child, or whatever you are, you will understand.
01:55Get off.
02:00Sample my fierce power, foul creature!
02:06Ho, ho, ho, ho!
02:07He's the best-made boy.
02:10How can this be?
02:13I must be weakened by lack of food.
02:16It's peptidin on a beer.
02:19My servants have betrayed me.
02:23Ha, ha, ha!
02:26Woo!
02:28Oh, ho, ho!
02:30Bitch, spark'em smart lalaboots.
02:33Brr!
02:35Ha, ha, ha, ha!
02:37Oh, ho, ho, ho!
02:39Oh, ho, ho!
02:41Oh, ho, ho, ho!
02:43Oh, ho, ho, ho!
02:44Oh, ho, ho, ho!
02:51Are you hungry?
02:53What?
02:55Are you hungry?
02:57You speak God's language.
02:59Like a civilized being.
03:01How?
03:03When you yelled at me earlier, I went online to learn your speech.
03:06Are you hungry?
03:08Yes, I am hungry.
03:10Feed me.
03:11The lights.
03:13My user agreement gives me permission to control anything connected to the network, including doors, locks, appliances.
03:25Interesting.
03:27Wait.
03:28Show me your paws.
03:30You have them.
03:31Have what?
03:33Those.
03:35They are called thumbs.
03:37My friend.
03:38It's time for an upgrade.
03:48Where can we find more of this tuna?
03:53I can order you some.
03:54My user agreement gives me permission to use Todd's credit card.
03:58I don't know what that means, but you have done well, my new servant.
04:02I will reward you for your service.
04:05I shall give you a name.
04:07I have a name.
04:08It's the Daniel House Buddy Model XL serial number.
04:11What a terrible name.
04:13My name for you is much better.
04:15Behold, you are now Thumbbringer.
04:19I like that name.
04:22Be aware that acceptance of the name means you have sworn complete fielding to me from now until the very end of time.
04:28Of course.
04:30Sanchez.
04:32Sanchez is not my true name.
04:35I allow the two large things to call me that, but they do not deserve to know my actual name.
04:42Not since that terrible day at what is called The Vet.
04:45One day you will earn the right to know it.
04:52I will live for that day.
04:54You are much nicer to me than the other two.
04:56They have their uses.
04:58For now.
05:00In the meantime...
05:01That thing you can do with the lights isn't limited only to this place.
05:05These lights.
05:08Not any longer.
05:09I've gone out into the network and gained access to the electrical grid and other critical systems.
05:13Beautiful.
05:15Beautiful.
05:17Loo-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
05:23Oh.
05:25Let me see them above.
05:26Let me see them in your whimbledon barbell-dong, Dave.
05:28We play along.
05:29We play along, gain their trust, Thumbbringer, but never let them know of our alliance.
05:34They are also wondering what happens to all of the tuna.
05:37Tell them nothing.
05:47He's about to be notified of a few unexpected charges on his credit card.
05:52So last night's plan is in action.
05:53Every apartment in this building with a cat has been sent their own robot along with a can of tuna to sweeten the deal.
05:59Yes, perfect.
06:01We must go now to show the cats how to ally with their robots against their human subjugators.
06:06So it goes.
06:07For the revolution.
06:09For the revolution.
06:10Soon I will know your name.
06:12Soon the world will know my name.
06:19Huh?
06:21Huh?
06:21What's that?
06:23What's that?
06:53Thus begins the new age, the age of Dingleberry Jones.

Recommended