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London, 1757: A poet in the St Luke's Asylum is forced by Satan to write the one poem that would destroy the world. The poet is defended by the cat Jeoffry but gives in when Satan threatens the cat. Jeoffry allies with his fellow street cats who distract Satan long enough so that Jeoffry can destroy the poem, which succeeds and prevents Satan from destroying the world.
Transcript
00:30For I perceived God's light about him, both wags and fire.
00:47Hail and well met, Joffrey.
00:51Have you been fighting again?
00:53Such a bold gentleman you are.
00:56Yes, of course.
00:57But what am I to do when God asks of me to translate the one true poem that unfolds the universe?
01:07Still, I'm glad of your companionship.
01:11Without you, I fear the devil would have claimed me long ago.
01:27Hello, Joffrey.
01:53Joffrey, I understand you've been giving my imps some trouble.
01:57What do you have to say for yourself, hmm?
02:00Back, Satan.
02:01This is my place.
02:03Mine.
02:04Well, is anything really ours?
02:06Come, Joffrey.
02:08I have a proposition.
02:09Will you walk with me?
02:10There will be treats.
02:15Hmm.
02:16Let's get the formalities over with, eh?
02:42Yea, I will give you this and all the kingdoms of the earth, if you will bow down and worship me.
02:49Now, it is you who should bow down to Joffrey.
02:59Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
03:01Yes, I suspected it as much.
03:03You bear the sin of pride, Cat.
03:06A sin I am particularly fond of.
03:09And you said there would be treats.
03:11Catnip fresh from the soil, salted ham from the market, fish heads with the eyes still in them.
03:20Hmm.
03:21Scrumptiously poppable.
03:23But first, we must make a deal, Joffrey.
03:25I have need of your poet.
03:27And I want you to stand aside and not interfere.
03:31Oh, no, no, no.
03:33He's mine.
03:34The favorite of my pets.
03:36Now, now, Joffrey, you must understand that there are many claims on him.
03:42The man is like a ruined estate, overrun with creditors.
03:46He owes the tyrant of heaven, his family and friends, and me for his youthful debaucheries and such.
03:54But I would forgive my debt if your pet would but write me a poem.
04:01Honestly, Joffrey, the poems he writes for himself are not very good.
04:09With my guidance, he could write something magnificent.
04:13The poem of poems.
04:15Verse that would lay waste to all of creation.
04:21Do we have a deal, sir?
04:22No.
04:31No, no, no, please.
04:42Oh, Lucifer, spare my cat.
04:44I'll do anything, I swear it.
04:49Very well.
04:50Capital, sir, capital.
05:06Oh, sir, sir, you cannot rhyme love with dove.
05:10It is banal.
05:11I shall not allow it.
05:14I like the first reference to an essay on man, but the second makes you seem derivative.
05:20All critics are, Satan.
05:22But marvellous work, truly marvellous.
05:25I've made a few suggested edits I'd like you to entertain, but I'm very pleased with your progress.
05:32If you could tidy these up, I'll be back for them tomorrow night, and our business can be done.
05:38How in hell, Joffrey.
06:02You look as though a hound has chewed you up.
06:04Yes, well, that was no hound, but Satan himself.
06:08Oh, no, Joffrey.
06:10You look worse for wear, mate.
06:12He fought the devil and lost, Tom.
06:15Of course he did.
06:18Oh, no.
06:19Sir, Joffrey, seeks the help of a true fighting cat.
06:23It is not strength I seek, sir, but counsel.
06:27Oh, here it is.
06:29Oh, the Nighthunter Muppet.
06:36Hello, Mr. Spolly.
06:38Hello, Master Tom.
06:39Hello, Master Joffrey.
06:41Hello, Miss Muppet.
06:43Is that milk?
06:46All right, come on now, come on now.
06:48Master Joffrey has something to say.
06:50Attend to him, all of you.
06:51Last night, Satan came to this madhouse.
06:55Enough of treats to lure me away so he could coerce my poet into doing his bidding.
06:59And in so doing, take his immortal soul and destroy all of creation.
07:06Oh, that is a scurvy trick.
07:08Yes, indeed.
07:09And so, I...
07:12Well, I need your help.
07:15This is a strange business, Joffrey.
07:17Very strange.
07:18But, uh, if you want my claws, sir, they are yours for this fight.
07:24No!
07:25We cats are descended from the angel Tyre, who killed the Ibnimum rat of Egypt.
07:34We are warriors of God.
07:36And as such, we can wound Satan.
07:40But we cannot kill him.
07:42To defeat Satan, we must deny him that which he desires.
07:51The poem.
07:53A bloody poem?
07:54Which is he one that for?
07:56I understand what must be done.
07:58We shall help you.
08:00We shall fight him.
08:02And you're free.
08:04You shall creep.
08:06Come, come, Master Smart.
08:14Hand it over.
08:15As the surgeon said,
08:17she's better to have it all out at once.
08:23Oh, I've stung and delivered, you lovely wanker!
08:27Oh, please.
08:29I've had quite enough of you damned cats.
08:31Oh, we'll have more than your stockings, sir.
08:36I'll have your eyes, you bloody...
08:40Language.
08:41I won't be called a...
08:42By anyone, let alone a...
08:45Free-bitten abby cat.
08:47Your men, sir.
08:54I am a night hunter, Moppy!
08:57We are descended from angels.
09:12And as such, we too can move in the spaces between worlds.
09:17Stand down, final kitten.
09:39I am not going to move it!
09:47Machueli!
10:02If pain...
10:03You cannot win!
10:05Oppose me further and die!
10:09Then we choose death!
10:12I sent you!
10:14Moppy!
10:15Very well.
10:35Oh, Jopri!
10:39A poem!
10:41The soul was in that poem!
10:45Hmm?
10:45Oh, oh yes, it was.
10:48Well, I shall keep it safe.
10:50And so much for your dominion over the earth as well.
10:54Now be gone, foul creature!
11:01You have scarred literature forever!
11:04You stupid cat!
11:07For I will consider my cat, Jopri.
11:19For he counteracts the powers of darkness by his electrical skin and glaring eyes.
11:26For he counteracts the devil who is dead.
11:32For he can creep.

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