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FunTranscript
00:00Hello, everybody. Well, sorry.
00:02See, big boys can't run. Oh, watch this.
00:05Oh, gosh. Look at that
00:09dump truck. Is she picking him up by his Teletubby? You know what I'm saying? Wait,
00:13are gazelles in the Sahara? Hello, everybody, and welcome back to my YouTube channel, or welcome to
00:18my YouTube channel. I'm CallMeChris, and you can call me Chris. And I am wearing a sweater that
00:24says, let us know, with Snoopy on it. And look how big this thing is. It's astronomical. Look
00:29at this. Does anybody else wear oversized clothes because they're insecure? If you do, you have to
00:34like the video, okay? You do. And also, you don't need to be insecure about your body because you
00:38look fine as chilled wine in the summertime, okay? I want to hear that come out of your mouth, okay?
00:42Only I can be self-deprecating, not you. All right? Okay, cool. But honestly, I honestly haven't been
00:47in the best mood. The seasonal depression is definitely kicking in, so I thought we'd watch
00:52some funny TikTok to help with that. And I know you guys enjoy it, so let's just get into it.
00:59Also, I forgot to mention that I'm going to attempt to make this a try not to laugh
01:07challenge because I feel like that would be fun. Also, if I laugh, not smile, and I know Jay
01:12is going to be keeping tally, laugh. If I laugh more than 10 times, I will put footage at the end
01:18of the video of Kevin chasing me through the fields. I don't know if anyone else will see that, but that's
01:23all I can think of right now in the moment. All right, let's get into it.
01:35He's a little struggling right now.
01:46It's been to me.
01:53Gashed!
01:54No!
01:55Goddammit.
01:56That I'd be stronger.
01:58I almost made it.
01:59Lord Farquaad, just f*** me up.
02:00Alright, I can do this.
02:01One on the board.
02:02The claps are so loud.
02:18I want to see that ass that's clapping like that.
02:20I'm just kidding.
02:21I don't want to see that ass.
02:22I don't know.
02:25Teletubbies!
02:32What is going on?
02:33It was so innocent.
02:34Oh, God.
02:35What's happening?
02:36Oh, he's levitating.
02:37You're not going anywhere.
02:40Is she picking him up by his Teletubby?
02:42You know what I'm saying?
02:43Moustache man, where are you?
02:45Moustache man, where are you?
02:47I like a good moustache.
02:48Come on and play, moustache man.
02:50Yay.
02:51Where's the moustache man?
02:52Oh, God.
02:53Is he dead?
02:54Moustache man, you're sleeping.
02:55How adorable.
02:56Wake up, moustache man.
02:57I didn't mean to wake you up.
02:58Look at that moustache.
02:59It's absolutely majestic.
03:00The way it cares over like that.
03:01Wow, that's amazing.
03:02And the fact that he's sleeping and it looks like that is amazing.
03:03Also, that voice came out of nowhere.
03:04He's like, moustache man.
03:05What's this?
03:06Oh, my wordy lord.
03:07Did he drug the moustache man?
03:08Help, I need to work, dad, it?
03:10Oh, I need to work and work and take it.
03:12Oh, nice curls.
03:14I won't bother you anymore.
03:16Here, have a pillow for your troubles.
03:18I love you, you're a pillow.
03:19Oh, no.
03:20What's that?
03:21What's the way to do with your moles?
03:22Oh, my yes.
03:23Oh, my yes.
03:24Oh, my oh.
03:25And your yes.
03:27Oh, my yes, it's all.
03:28Oh, my yes.
03:29Oh, my yes.
03:30Oh, my yes.
03:31Oh, my yes.
03:32What are you doing?
03:33Oh, my yes.
03:34I'm sorry.
03:35Oh, my yes.
03:36Oh, my yes.
03:37I think we need to put out an APB for the mustache man because I think he's been abducted. I'm concerned for him. It wasn't funny
03:43It was more disturbing if anything
03:47German Shepherd owners vacuuming their dogs hair mm-hmm
03:50I could vacuum literally a hundred times a day and it would still be covered in hair everywhere
03:54Pitbull owners trying to explain why the dog won't instantly rip their face up. Facts. I love pitties
04:00Chihuahuas for no reason
04:02Yeah, honestly if you own a chihuahua
04:04Why? They're little demon dogs. This poor dog was left in a gas station in Riverside, California
04:11That's why I own a chihuahua. I never wanted you, but I love you. Pug dongers walking their dog snoring for 50th time
04:17Yeah, pugs are just unnatural and if you own a pug you're not helping the issue
04:22They should be stop being bred. They're cute, but they're just in pain constantly. Same as bulldogs
04:28I don't know what people are doing. Great day owners bragging about how big their dog is 24 7. Facts
04:32How many bones I would break if this was real? Okay fun fact
04:37I've broken 12 bones because I am the klutz and I'm insane, but that's not new information. Oh
04:44God. Oh God. Oh
04:49You'd be dead, sir. The balkan bronze the balkan bro the balkan cheat the butt
04:55My brain just broke. I think I am in this video. I think I got cussed just watching the video. Oh God
05:00I like two
05:02Damn it. I'm in two. I got laughed twice
05:05I like two. I don't know like the big bone and the small bone
05:10My boyfriend getting a text message notification
05:13Don't say it. Don't say it
05:16Let me guess. Oh, I was just gonna say that. Is that your other girlfriend typical I'd say it too
05:20What are you doing? Just chillin watching Netflix. How about you? Waiting for my pizza? Delete my number right now. Sorry
05:30It's three. Oh man, if I got a picture like that. Mm-hmm. Just kidding. Okay. I'm gonna attempt to defend
05:37Three shows I can't understand how people like
05:39Let's see how I do
05:42Grey's Anatomy
05:43I kind of like Grey's Anatomy. I'm not gonna lie. It's pretty entertaining
05:55He wants to give him a foot massage with the sock if you know what I mean because I don't know what I mean
06:00Oh, man, was that four? I think we're at four. God damn it. Okay. This isn't good. We're only a quarter of the way through the video
06:06When you work from home and no one's watching you
06:09Multitask. Nice setup. That was a good setup. Random coffee break
06:15Gotta stay online
06:18Snack break every 10 minutes. Those are straight facts. Not even funny
06:21Give me some sugar
06:22My best friend got the buns out for no reason
06:27Oh, not the ass grab again
06:29You're not going anywhere
06:34Oh
06:35How is he? It really looks like he's levitating
06:37They really busted out the budget for this
06:39Unless he's just standing on a chair
06:40He's got a nice booty
06:41Hey, you
06:42If you're watching this
06:43You should be proud of that booty
06:44Okay? It's good
06:45All right
06:46I have a new game
06:47You're gonna love this
06:48Draco Malfoy? What are you doing?
06:49What are you doing?
06:50Get on a browser
06:51Okay
06:52Type in prmt.sc
06:54Slash any six random letters and numbers
06:57It's gonna give you a random person screenshot
07:00First one to get dick pic wins
07:02That's it
07:03Wait, what? Oh god
07:04Now I have to try it
07:05Prmt.sc
07:08Slash
07:09Oh, I hope I don't get a dick pic
07:11I really don't
07:12Any six random letters or numbers
07:13Okay, we'll just do
07:14Qt247
07:17Is that six?
07:18What we get?
07:19What the f**k is that?
07:21What the f**k is that?
07:22Purple or blue?
07:24It's gonna be purple
07:25Green
07:26What just happened?
07:28In my head I was like blue
07:30And then my head said green
07:31I need to go to the doctor
07:32I need help
07:33Good thing I watch Crazy Anatomy
07:34White or orange?
07:36Orange
07:37Period
07:38F**k
07:41Yellow or pink?
07:43Yellow
07:44Yellow
07:45Period
07:46F**k
07:47I got it right
07:48One out of three
07:49Hanging balls
07:50On FaceTime
07:51I'm just chilling
07:52What about you?
07:53I'm just chilling
07:54Oh my god
07:55This is so good
07:57I'm excited
07:58It's so hot
07:59Hold on
08:00I'm gonna have to check my family
08:01Give me a second alright?
08:02Oh my god
08:03Oh my god
08:05Oh my god
08:06Oh my god
08:07Please
08:08I'm gonna lie
08:09This is something
08:10It's mad confusing
08:11Bro
08:12I don't even
08:13For real
08:14Oh my gosh
08:16I'm turning it off for now
08:19Bro
08:20Bro
08:21Wait a second
08:22Ugh
08:23Why aren't you saying anything?
08:24Like your balls are sticking out your shorts
08:26I'm back
08:27Listen
08:28Does that count as a laugh?
08:29No
08:30What?
08:31Oh that counts
08:32Okay five
08:33Catching smokers
08:35A man just dipped out the stall
08:48What the f**k?
08:49What was the point of that?
08:51Gentlemen
08:53What are we doing here?
08:57Why did he jump over
08:58The stall?
09:02Why did he do that?
09:03I'm so confused
09:04What's going on?
09:06Oh
09:09Oh there was another guy in the stall
09:11Were they getting saucy in the stalls?
09:16Oh my god
09:18He gets-
09:19You can see them in the stalls
09:20What are they doing?
09:21What is going on?
09:22What?
09:23It's Halloween
09:24Which means
09:25We dress up as dead people
09:26So I'm gonna be going as
09:27My friend's dad
09:29Bleh
09:30I'm
09:31I drowned in a river
09:32F**king sick
09:35That's the kind of friend I want
09:37When you're bored and have nothing to do
09:40Oh
09:41Is he gonna beatbox into the
09:42He didn't beatbox into the fan like I would do
09:44He just stuck his uh
09:46Teletubby into the fan
09:47Alright
09:48That's really weird
09:49People cheated on exams before at school like everyone does it
09:51Yeah
09:52If you haven't cheated on an exam before
09:53I can't lie you don't exist
09:54I don't know how many times I've said this
09:55And I just love to keep admitting it
09:57Cause it makes me feel less guilty
09:58Cheated on my grade 12 final on math
10:00I got a B
10:01My parents were just as confused as I was
10:03Sorry Mr. Van Huygens9
10:05There's still one question I've never had the answer to
10:09Nice hair dude
10:10How come you girls always go in in groups to the toilet
10:14I'll tell you what we do
10:15Picture this
10:16Somebody has to go pee
10:17But we women travel in packs
10:20Because you men are always trying to gripe at us
10:23Talk to us
10:24Hit on us
10:25So we need to get in huddles
10:26And huddle to the bathroom
10:27Hobble to the bathroom
10:28And then when we get in there
10:29We talk about how stupid you are
10:31You're not all stupid
10:32It's fine
10:33It's merely for protection
10:34We're like gazelles in the Sahara
10:37And wait are gazelles in the Sahara?
10:39In the jungle
10:40They're not in the jungle either
10:41We are gazelles
10:42And y'all are lions
10:43Okay
10:44Or maybe even hippopotamuses
10:45Cause they're f***ing assholes
10:46And we're just trying to protect ourselves
10:48That's why
10:49And we're vulnerable in the bathroom
10:50Because we're pulling our pants down
10:51What don't you want to stand about that?
10:53Okay God
10:54We're also just talking shit in the bathroom basically
10:56What's going on sick nation?
10:57Today we are going to be playing some Roblox
10:59You already know
11:00But first
11:01Our sponsor for today is Raid Shadow Legends
11:04Raid Shadow Legends is a mobile RPG
11:07Goes to skip
11:08Goes to skip it
11:09And you can basically just
11:10Facts
11:11My family's dead
11:12My mom's dead
11:13My brother's dead
11:14My dad's dead
11:16My mom's been dead
11:18Everyone's dead
11:20I always do that
11:22I always skip through the ad
11:24And then it goes into like halfway through the video
11:26And it's ruined
11:27This is fantastic
11:28Oh that's six isn't it?
11:29I love it
11:30Alright guys now that the sponsor's done
11:31Let's play some frickin' Roblox
11:33Let's get into this
11:34Wait
11:35What just happened?
11:36That is so funny
11:37One time we even had to go
11:39So my house burnt down
11:40Unfortunately I don't have house insurance
11:42This is going to weigh a lot of my-
11:43This is fantastic
11:44This is art
11:45Mom
11:46I don't know what to do at this point
11:47Mom I don't know what to do at this point
11:52I love this so much
11:54The accuracy
11:55He's impeccable
11:56Please come over and help me study
11:58You come study with frat guy
12:00No
12:01No no no
12:02We're just going to study
12:03I promise
12:04Nothing else
12:05The open button
12:06It's like
12:07You are seriously the best
12:08Thank you so much
12:09He's foreshadowing
12:10It's like mad loud out there honestly
12:13And like
12:14Ew
12:15Why is this giving me PTSD
12:17Did he lock it?
12:20Did he lock it?
12:21This is so pointless
12:23Like
12:24Fuck this
12:25Oh god
12:26You were just mad hot
12:27And honestly I was thinking
12:28Like
12:29You're very distracted
12:30This guy's too good at this
12:31He is either this guy
12:32Or he is like a best friend
12:34That is this guy
12:35Because this is not okay
12:36His pants are too tight as well
12:37And his hat looks stupid
12:40I have to study for this test
12:41Because I'm literally going to fail
12:42Uh
12:43So can you please leave?
12:44Like thank you for coming
12:45But like
12:46This was a bad idea
12:47Rude
12:48That's not funny
12:50It's not nice
12:51Kicked him in the balls
12:52Wait when he left
12:53The giant horse cock
12:55Weighs over 11 pounds
13:01Uh uh uh
13:02The bell doesn't dismiss you
13:03I do
13:04Mr. Garrison can I ask you a question?
13:05Yeah what is it Jimmy?
13:06Have you ever been knocked the f*** out?
13:07No I haven't
13:08Why do you ask?
13:09Because that's what I'm going to do
13:10If you don't let me leave this
13:11Bullshit classroom
13:12Hey I'm a teacher
13:13You can't talk to me like that
13:14Well I'm not a student
13:15To say what the f*** I want to say
13:17Who are you?
13:18I feel bad for the teacher man
13:19What the f*** did he do man?
13:20He's just doing his job man
13:22They don't get paid enough man
13:23Why am I actually
13:24Physically crying?
13:27I should be an actress
13:28Look at this shit
13:29Even all four of my roommates
13:31Even all four of my roommates
13:32Slept through a home invasion
13:33So I had to run past the burglars
13:35Naked to raise alarm
13:36I was out making moves
13:38Legend
13:39Nice
13:40Nice
13:41Good for use
13:42Not my powerpoint eating
13:44What is happening?
13:51Hey that's a good powerpoint
13:55A++++
13:57Wow
13:59Good job
14:01What's that?
14:02A piece of meat
14:03Oh god this dog's gonna go boom
14:05Oh god this dog's gonna go boom
14:06Oh he did so good
14:08Look he's
14:09Nom nom nom nom
14:10Nom nom
14:11Nom nom
14:12Awww
14:13Nom nom nom
14:14Nom nom
14:15Chiropractor
14:16Neck adjustment
14:17Two
14:18One
14:19All right
14:20All right
14:21Have that fear
14:26He did
14:29Man
14:30You fixed the problem
14:31He's probably not hurting no more
14:32But he f***ing dead
14:33That's why
14:34Shit
14:35He leaves
14:36Oh shit
14:38Is that eight?
14:39He's dead bro
14:43Why is that seven?
14:45He laughs seven times
14:46I don't even know anymore
14:47Eight
14:48I'll call it eight
14:49Oh my god that was funny
14:50Throwing a hand sanitizer grenade
14:51Awww
14:55Dude that's so cool
14:57Oh
14:58The quality of this is insane
15:05It is
15:06Oh my god
15:07Nice
15:08Hello
15:09I wanna do this
15:10Hey I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty on my toe
15:13Get off
15:14Huh
15:15Seriously it's not funny
15:16Awww
15:17What'd I do?
15:18Move
15:19What'd I do?
15:20Get
15:21Are you an employer?
15:22Nope
15:23Yeah they were low on mannequins
15:24No it's not funny
15:25These people suck man
15:26He's just trying to have fun
15:27And you ran over his toe
15:28And they're like
15:29How dare you move in front of my cart
15:32Teachers got mad at me
15:33Number one
15:34Needing to use the restroom
15:35That's my fault
15:36I should've shit my hand and put it in my pocket
15:37Teacher I'm so sorry
15:38Absolutely
15:39Number two
15:40We have other students are talking
15:41Yep
15:42Yeah it's my fault once again teachers
15:43That's on me
15:44I should've wrote a letter to their parents
15:45And told them not to talk about whatever they're talking about
15:47Yep, facts
15:48Number three
15:49Thinking the bell dismissed me
15:50That's my fault once again
15:51I should've attached a note to a pigeon
15:52And sent it to the dean
15:53It's true
15:54About this irrelevant bell schedule
15:55Hey at least somebody gets it
15:56Number four
15:57Not knowing something before they teach me
15:58Yep
15:59Once again teachers
16:00That's all on me
16:01Yep
16:02You gotta teach yourself
16:03100%
16:04I should've read a German dictionary
16:05Yep
16:06Since English obviously isn't coming through to me
16:07That's on me
16:08Guten Morgen
16:09Number five
16:10I wore clothes that they didn't like
16:11That's my fault once again teachers
16:12I'm so sorry
16:13I should've texted you guys in the morning
16:15And see if you guys would've approved whatever I'm wearing
16:17Mhm
16:18I just hear straight facts
16:19That's all I hear
16:20Every girl when her man says he's doing NN
16:23Now let's see that penis
16:25What's NNN?
16:26I don't know
16:27I'm uneducated and abstinent
16:29I wouldn't know
16:30What does NNN mean?
16:31Ohhhh
16:32It's no not November
16:35I'm old
16:37Have you spent dollar on candy for no one to show up?
16:40Aww
16:41Just eat it
16:42Simple as that
16:43That's okay
16:44You just eat it yourself
16:45That's what I do
16:46I live in the middle of the goddamn forest
16:47I bought two boxes of chocolate
16:48Nobody's coming here
16:49I ate it all
16:50And then I hated myself after
16:51But then I ate more chocolate
16:52I felt better so
16:53I'm kinda depressed
16:54Me already having a bad day being irritated this
16:56I'm gonna
16:58You got my nose
17:00Or like when your belt loop gets caught on like the door or like a drawer
17:05I just wanna end it all
17:06When that happens man
17:07That's the breaking point
17:08When you're bored
17:09And have nothing to do
17:12That's a facial cleanser
17:13No
17:14Why do you guys always want to stick the penis in stuff?
17:18Stop it
17:19Or don't
17:20Or don't
17:21Just don't
17:22Don't show me
17:23I don't care
17:24Her iPad
17:25She might won't be up in the moon
17:26She's in another world
17:27Aww
17:29Be nice to me
17:30They're so cute
17:31I know it's not my birthday
17:33Aww
17:34Aww
17:35He's loving it
17:36That was so cute
17:37That's what I want
17:38A pot
17:39Nah
17:40That's so cute
17:41I love that
17:42It was just heartwarming
17:43Hey dad
17:44I dressed up as your son for Halloween
17:45I'm your sperm cell
17:46The disappointment in this man's face is fantastic
17:50I'm telling you first you gotta unlock this thing
17:52EJ come
17:53He's loving it
17:54He's loving it
17:55He's loving it
17:56That was so cute
17:57That's what I want
17:58A pot
17:59Nah
18:00That's so cute
18:01I love that
18:02It was just heartwarming
18:03Hey dad
18:04I dressed up as your son for Halloween
18:05I'm your sperm cell
18:06He's
18:07He's fantastic
18:08I'm telling you first you gotta unlock this thing
18:12EJ come
18:13Water
18:14Oh
18:15Jesus
18:16I'm like
18:17Mami
18:18Mamacita
18:19Magrita
18:20Why did I turn into an Italian?
18:21That was scary
18:22That wasn't funny
18:23This video will never not be funny to me
18:25Which video?
18:26Let's see it
18:27Let's see it
18:28I'm not gonna laugh
18:29We're imposed for like 10 minutes
18:30Let me see the product
18:31Okay
18:36Is that me?
18:39No
18:40No
18:41It's nice
18:42It's so nice
18:43Oh
18:44I've never looked better
18:47It was so good
18:49Where were you?
18:50Where were you when it was time for seeing your photos?
18:52Okay
18:53Why was daddy laughing?
18:55Daddy don't know what he's talking about
18:57I just
18:58That's a great drawing in French
19:00It's nice
19:03God damn it that's nine
19:04I can't
19:05I don't want to run outside
19:06I don't want to do it too sad
19:08My mom checks on the oldest sibling at night
19:10Hey
19:11You guys
19:12You know what time it is
19:13So
19:14Yeah
19:15I was just checking my alarm to make sure that it's set for 6.30 in the morning
19:18Yeah
19:19Classic
19:20Classic
19:21You're checking your alarm to make sure you get up in the morning
19:24I'll make sure you get up in the morning
19:26No
19:27No
19:28How are you gonna get up in the morning if you're gonna knock her out with the slipper?
19:31She's gonna be knocked out
19:32She's probably not gonna be able to get up
19:33She's probably gonna be concussed and not be able to go to school
19:35I don't think he thought this one through to be honest
19:37Middle sibling
19:38Hey
19:39It's already inaccurate because mom wouldn't be checking in
19:42We are forgotten
19:43Okay middle children
19:44It's inaccurate
19:45Do you know what time it is?
19:46It's 1 in the morning
19:47It's a little late don't you think?
19:49Shelby sent me this video of our lessons in math class
19:52So that we can actually get ahead
19:54So that we'll be ready for the test next week
19:56So
19:57Not buying it
19:59Not buying it
20:00Not buying it
20:01Off the phone
20:02Or else it's mine in the morning
20:03Okay
20:04Now go to bed
20:05It's just not inaccurate
20:06Go to the right
20:07Go to the right
20:08Right right right right
20:09Oh my
20:10No you missed it
20:11And then this kid is gonna get away with everything
20:12My darling angel baby
20:14Shut up mom
20:15You literally just messed up my game
20:17It's so true though
20:19Like I have little brothers
20:20And my mom just doesn't give a f**k what they do
20:22They didn't get left at the grocery store
20:24I got left at the grocery store
20:26For two days
20:27They think boys can't run?
20:29Oh
20:30Watch this
20:31Oh gosh
20:32Look at that
20:35Dump truck
20:36I don't stare
20:37But I feel like
20:38How is he shaped like that?
20:40How is his butt defying gravity right now?
20:43It's like the gods are lifting up his gluteus maximus for him
20:48And we're about to watch it move
20:50We're about to see it in action
20:51I feel like a gross frat boy right now
20:53Okay I'm gonna watch respectfully
20:59Not gonna lie
21:00I watched that disrespectfully
21:02Okay everybody
21:03I think I only laughed nine times
21:07Please like the video
21:08Subscribe if you haven't already subscribed
21:10Hit that little notification bell
21:11If you haven't done that either
21:12I appreciate you guys so much
21:14I truly truly do
21:15And I hope everybody has a fantastic day
21:17Okay?
21:18Bye!
21:21Bye!
21:22See ya
21:23Bye!
21:24Bye!
21:27Bye!
21:29Bye!
21:30You
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