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00:00Hello everybody and welcome back to my YouTube channel or welcome to my YouTube channel. I'm
00:05CallMeChris and you can call me Chris and your outfit looks cute as hell today. You always look
00:10cute though. That's not surprising. I'm not in my regular space. I am currently in LA right now
00:15for work and also very exciting, very quick. I have new merch. It's very echoey in here. New
00:22merch limited edition. I am so incredibly excited about it. I worked so hard on this. I have Beck's
00:27band. Sweaters and hoodies and tees and you're not my dad is Beck's band. So I based all of the
00:34Beck's merch off of that and I'm absolutely in love. KMK hoodie with this awesome burgundy color
00:40that I thought was like so nice. It's like fine wine. And then we have the iconic spicy juice
00:47sweater. This design, I absolutely love it. It has the year I was born on it and a lot of other like
00:52little things and it's what Janet and Katrina always call alcoholic beverages. So I hope you
00:57guys liked the merch. I hope you guys enjoy wearing it and everything. You can grab that
01:01in the description below. I will leave a link. Again, it's for a limited time. It'll only be out
01:06for a week. So get it while you can. Let's watch things that only women will understand. Hopefully
01:12I understand it. I'm going to feel a little left out if I don't. Let's get into the video.
01:16When you're itchy and forget you have mascara on. It is tragic when this happens. And for the boys,
01:30if you do this, you turn into a rakin. For those of you who don't know, rakin is a raccoon. Exhibit A.
01:37Check it out. You're learning the rakins are getting a lot bigger, huh? All short girls know
01:41this problem. Listen, I'm not that short. So let's see what your problems are. Oh, that's
01:49kind of sad. You can't see your beautiful faces and the mirrors are too high. I get the mirror
01:54down for you. I show you your beautiful face. Okay. Cause you're beautiful. I feel so bad
01:58for little short girls, Dan. Little short queens. Listen. Listen. Butterflies between my thighs.
02:12How did y'all notice you're gonna get you? You'd be like going on that road and be like,
02:16actually, I forgot my keys back at the house. We're in the car, Stephanie. Go back. Go back
02:20over that road right now.
02:28Is nothing sacred? I can never look at that pool. Back in sixth grade. Save again. Sorry.
02:37How I see things versus how my parents see things. Me. Yes. My parents. Yes. Always. I wish
02:44I had. She's got abs. Me. Yeah. My parents. That's actually how my makeup looks most of the
02:49time. Nails. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how some girls have those nails and they wipe your
02:55ass. Tell me girls in the comments below. These are like focus mother. There we go.
03:00Oh Lord. We're like grown out. These are long for me. I don't know how you guys be getting
03:04under there and not getting some stuff under there. You know what I'm saying? Let me know
03:08your tips and tricks down below.
03:12Why is nothing sacred? School be lit though. You know, in the corner of those chairs.
03:18Me around my friends thinking I don't need a man. I'm a bad bitch. Yeah.
03:24Let's do this. I'm alone. Yeah. I feel that to every level on this planet. You're out with
03:31friends. You're like, I don't need a man. No, I'm an independent woman. Yes. No, pour the
03:36shots. Yeah. Then you get home. You're just like, okay, bye, Stephanie. Yeah. No, it was a great
03:40night.
03:40I hate my life. Only girls know this pain. Oh, oh, the rubber band. The rubber band must
03:54be banned. I'm saying it right now. If you put in the most desperate of situations and
03:59you need to put your hair up and there's only a rubber band. Oh my God. You can only take
04:04it out with scissors. Men with long hair will know. But if when you take that shit out of
04:08your head, it pulls 80,000 strands of hair with it. You could probably donate it. That's
04:14how much hair comes out. And part of your dignity as well. Oh, that's the worst. You know what?
04:19Sorry, I'm pausing this so much. All girls sleep with ponytails around their wrists just
04:23because we need, we need, we need it at any moment. We need to be able to grab a ponytail
04:27and put our hair up. Not for that reason. Nasty ass hoe. But sometimes when we sleep, it goes
04:31all the way down here and then it cuts off our circulation like a tourniquet. And then in the
04:36morning, you could probably amputate your arm and not feel it. Please, but a scratch. You
04:40just have this purple ring that's imprinted for 24 hours into your arm. Why do we do this?
04:45And we continue to do it. We'll just be like, ow, that really hurt. Okay, that's better.
04:51Oh, pulling glasses out. Again, pulling your hair out. Tights. Never wear them for that reason.
04:58Lipstick. I only wear it for videos. You can't eat. I don't understand the women. Props to
05:02you. That just wear lipstick. Out doing stuff to dinner. It's a commitment. Like, it's all
05:07you're thinking about constantly. Drinking. Eating. Sucking.
05:11Sucking. Controller.
05:16Oh, you nasty.
05:21Oh my god. Oh my god. Everything's just coming back to me in waves from school.
05:28It's about time for some sleep. Oh yeah, this feels good. It feels so cozy right now. Wait a second.
05:35I feel like I'm forgetting something. Oh yeah, I forgot to put the pillow between my legs.
05:38There is nothing better than sleeping between a pillow with your- with a f***ing stroke. There is
05:45nothing better than falling asleep and having a pillow between your legs. It's just like that extra
05:51comfort, you know? Because you don't have a man's there to put your legs on. You gotta settle for a pillow.
05:55Hold up. I forgot to check for the monsters underneath my bed. Oh no.
05:59What? Monsters under your bed? Nobody's doing that.
06:01Rookie move. You don't check for the monsters under your bed, okay? You just ask them if they're there,
06:07and if they don't respond, then they're not there. Or you're gonna die at night and it's a serial killer
06:11under your bed. You're gonna be on the news the next morning. I take that chance every night.
06:14Oof, that was a close one. Okay, for real this time. I'm going to sleep.
06:18Happy to go by. Okay, okay, okay. I have to Google something.
06:21Does Aries and Virgos match up? Come on. So I know I actively say how I don't particularly
06:27believe in like zodiac signs and horoscopes and stuff, but I would be full-on lying if I- if I said
06:34I didn't do this exact thing at like 3 a.m. in the morning and just like, okay, but like,
06:38does Aquarius match up with cancer and how compatible are we? And then if it's bad,
06:42I'm just like, this is stupid! But like, what about Scorpio?
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08:08Thanks for sponsoring this video, NordVPN, and let's get back to the video. If you ever wonder why
08:13short girls don't seem to be afraid of anything, it's because we've been doing death-defying stunts
08:17just to reach our cabinets since we stopped growing at 11. I'm not that short. I'm like 5'7,
08:215'7 and a half, but we've all done this. Even I can't reach those top shelves, but we go parkour
08:26champ on these things. What if a man's around? We're like, can you reach that? Because I can't reach it. But then
08:32when he's not, we're like... Parkour! I'm literally filming. There's a window right here. I've seen
08:38like two people just like sitting out on their balconies like... Who the f*** has stayed in 5A?
08:44I think we need to call the police, Shelly. No, no, no, we need to call the... No, she's doing parkour
08:49inside. I don't really know what's going on. And she's talking to herself. She's gonna kill us in her
08:52sleep. Shelly, call the police. Call the police. If you're referring to the fact that chocolate's delicious
08:59and I crave it at all times of the day, and I would rather have chocolate than literally
09:04anything else in life, then yes. Yes, I do understand this. You guys ever dated a good
09:08person before? My god, that s*** is crazy. I've seen this guy for a couple weeks. He's over at my
09:12house last night. We have dinner. He's doing my dishes. His phone goes off. I'm like, your phone's
09:15going off? Probably another girl is what I think in my head. Probably. And he's like, okay, unlock it for
09:19me. Tell me what it says. I was like, what? He gives me his code. I'm like, don't give me that s***. You're too trustworthy.
09:23What? Yes, I have been traumatized by this. Like, I have been with guys that you touch their phone and
09:29like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? What do you want to see? What do you, what do you want to
09:34stop? And I'm just like, I was just checking the time. And they're just like, don't touch my phone.
09:39Like, just double my phone and touch my phone. I'm just like, okay. And then you be with the guy, it's like, oh yeah,
09:44here, like, uh, you want to play like Andy crush on my phone? And I just be like,
09:47what mysterious creature are you? Thank you, man, for giving us trust issues.
09:56A loofah.
09:59Is it bad I don't use a loofah? Maybe that's why I'm not on another joke. Please,
10:03ladies, tell me down below. What is this loofah business? And do I need to get one? I'm sure
10:07I probably do. Some of the girls will understand how painful this is. Oh, yes. Anything sequenced that
10:15rides up the armpit, you'll have like a gash right here. Like somebody just put a knife in between
10:21your armpit and just went and then you're just walking around like this. Tell me I'm pretty,
10:25please. I'm literally dying. Let's confuse the boys. I also want to know if boys are watching
10:31this video. If you are, please tell me in the comments below and if you understand anything.
10:35We need to stop doing this. Okay. This needs to be a secret. It needs to be sacred. Okay.
10:48Ted, let them know about this stuff. Thank God for shower heads. Am I right?
10:56Trying to figure out how to shave my a-hole.
10:58These are the things they need to teach in school. I don't know how many times I've cut
11:05my nether regions trying to figure out how to maneuver that. And you know what? Just for you
11:11today. Here is a lesson on how to get rid of hair around the booty. How? Okay. Without hurting yourself
11:18because I care about you. Find a ledge of some sort. It's a pretty large ledge I got here, but
11:22we're just going to stick our legs up like this. Why does my leg look purple? I am so pale. This is
11:27crazy. It's probably best you can't see what's going on down below, but you got it. I got the leg
11:31up like this, right? You get your razor, take your other hand and just, just make sure everything's
11:36as open as possible. There's people recording this out there somewhere. I know that there are. Anyway,
11:44we'll find that on a different site later. Anyway, we take the razor and we go in and we, you know,
11:49downward motion, down and out, down and out. Know what I mean? Down and out. That's all I gotta say about that.
11:55I'm so sorry, Jay. I'm so sorry.
12:01Let's give a round of applause and a like on the video for Jay for watching this video and
12:05editing it. So sorry about it. Girls, we'll relate to this.
12:14What's going on? Is she going to take a poop? Is she going to poop? What's she going to do?
12:24Why did she put it in the toilet paper in the toilet? Oh, I know. I've done that before.
12:33It prevents splashage, which prevents noises and the faucet and the bathtub prevent
12:40anybody else from hearing the noises, but it's kind of counterproductive because if you sound like
12:45you're taking a shower while washing your hands, you're going to know you're taking a shit. Okay?
12:48They're going to know. Just take that shit. Take that. Hey, just take that shit. You take it proud.
12:53And if you fart, we're human. If he can't handle you at your fartest, then he can't have you.
12:59Things that make your boobies grow. Milk, peas and beans, nuts, honey. I need to consult on this.
13:09I'm going to call the doctor and confirm this. I feel like it's not, but until I confirm that it's not,
13:15I'm ordering peas, beans, milk, and almonds tonight because we're struggling. We're struggling.
13:21How girls apologize. I am sorry. I am sorry. Okay. I can do that. Good. Yep.
13:31Well? Always. It's like it's physically impossible for it to come out of my mouth or I gotta like,
13:37I gotta like bring it up. I gotta like bring everything in me to say I'm sorry. I can never
13:42own my shit. This is like a therapy session here. I'm sorry to, to look at that. Look at this. Okay.
13:47We're, we're learning here. I'm sorry to anyone I have gotten into an argument with and clearly lost
13:53and wasn't able to own up to that. I didn't lose. You were probably wrong. So only girls will understand.
13:57Okay. Everyone's on a timeout. Everyone, you, everyone's on a timeout. All right. Even you,
14:11Timmy. Okay, everybody. Oh, also I can clap again. Look at it. It's healing kind of. I might have a
14:18badass scar come up with a better story than I cut myself with an avocado or I cut myself cutting an
14:23avocado. Anyway, thank you for watching the video. I hope you enjoyed the video. If you did, please
14:27like the video down below and comment. What is something that the boys don't know? Just like
14:33anything, even if it's just like one word and then we have a little thick rat. And then maybe
14:37boys, if you want me to watch video that only boys will understand and see me very confused,
14:41please also like the video and tell me in the comments below if you want to see that. Also,
14:45grab the merch. It's limited time. I'm very, very excited about it. This is probably one of my
14:50favorites. It's a KMK. It's got a raised rubber KMK logo, which is awesome. It's super high quality.
14:56Very excited about it. And it's one of my favorite colors. And then we got the sick, spicy juice,
15:01honey. Super stoked about that with the KMK logo on the front. And we got all the Beck stuff. Go grab
15:07it. Go check it out down below. I appreciate you guys very much. And I will see your beautiful faces
15:12in the next video. Okay. Bye.
15:20Bye.
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