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00:00Hello everybody and welcome back to my YouTube channel or welcome to my YouTube channel. I'm
00:05CallMeChris and you can call me Chris and Pete has a hat now. Tell him he looks good in the
00:09comments because he's feeling a little insecure about it. But you know who shouldn't be feeling
00:12insecure is you because you look cute as a button today. I know you're on the toilet. You still look
00:17cute though. Today I am putting myself through the five minute crafts again because I kind of
00:22missed them. Last time I watched Troom Troom and I am officially um uh scarred from that so I want
00:29to go back to my roots. My five minute crafts and uh see if they're any better. So well let's get into
00:34it. Okay Mr. Noodles. Love Mr. Noodles. And we're ruining them. Wasting food already. Here we go.
00:52How is five minute crafts not cancelled after this? How old is this video? It's from 2019!
00:59So you're telling me five minute crafts. If I draw on the back of uh Mr. Noodles and stamp it I will be
01:06fluent in written Chinese or I'm not sure what what uh language this is. This isn't correct!
01:14What is this? I'll treat you. Okay.
01:18What?
01:20Oh I hate when my floor gets duct tape!
01:24Hey. I can't be mad at that. Duct tape. You need it. It always works. It's always there for you.
01:30Unlike every man I've ever been with. Just kidding. We are- our mouse isn't working? Okay. Mouse isn't
01:36working. It's happening. How do you fix this? Ikea batteries. Why Ikea batteries? That is so specific.
01:44Was this video sponsored by Ikea? Ikea? Sponsor me. Please. I love your Swedish furniture!
01:52What?! There's no way. I want to test it but oh wait I have a mouse. I'm not going to test it.
01:57Let's just say okay it works. I don't think it works. Let me know in the comments below if that works.
02:01What is the issue here? She keeps forgetting to close the door? Is that a problem? Are you using a
02:14pulley s- a Coca-Cola pulley system? Are you serious? Is this gonna-
02:22The level of laziness is outstanding here. This is insane! Close your door you piece of s-
02:32All right. Broken handle. Oh no! Oh so we take a handle off of something that needs a handle.
02:38What's the solution for the handle for the bottle you just took it off of? Are you gonna drink it like
02:42a five year old? Like- I digress. Okay we need a hot glue gun and we're hot gluing the plastic handle
02:50to that bowl. I just- won't the hot glue like melt because of all the steam? I'm just saying.
02:56Five minute crafts- just hire me. Okay hire me. I- I will make five minute crafts like five times better.
03:01If that. This is just piss poor. Soccer ball! Fun fact! I've played soccer in university.
03:09Oh okay we're flattening the ball?
03:13Why are we-
03:13Let's see is- what the is going on? Okay so we have a syringe. We get egg whites.
03:20We have an extra syringe. Just fixing a punctured ball with egg whites.
03:25Shiiiit. Okay. And you swish it around. If I told my very Scottish university soccer coach
03:43the way to fix a soccer ball or soccer balls was to inject egg whites into it, he would say, are you
03:49f***ing daft Christina? You better run a hundred laps around the pitch and I don't want to hear a
03:56f***ing word out of your mouth and you're not playing for the rest of the season. A lot of PTSD
04:01coming back from that. Uh, love you. Love you buddy. That was a terrible Scottish accent. I'm very sorry.
04:05Umbrella. Ella. Ella. Oh, our umbrella's broken. If you got an unbroken umbrella, just go buy a new one.
04:17It's- it's like five dollars. If that. Are you gonna do the dollar stock? Get an umbrella for a dollar.
04:22Okay so we're cutting a pen and we're cauterizing it and then we're welding it with scissors
04:30scissors into a cap to put on our umbrella and sewing it on. And now our umbrella is fixed. Yay!
04:43You know what? You just spend probably- well, the gas price is like it is now. Probably like
04:48fifteen dollars in gas going to get that f***ing needle. And then your thread, probably in the same
04:53store. I'll give you that. And then your lighter and this pen. The pen you probably have at your house.
04:59Regardless! Just get a new umbrella, okay? It's just- all that shit probably costs as much as a new umbrella. You're an idiot. Next.
05:10Uh, our purse is broken? I didn't even see what was wrong with it. Oh, is that sticky tack or is that gum?
05:20And you're putting it on your purse? And now you're molding it? What do I look like five bit of
05:26grass? Are you gonna f***ing Picasso? Which makes no sense because this is kind of more of sculpting.
05:29But still! Okay after we spend 50 minutes sculpting our sticky putty, we need to color it in with a
05:38permanent marker. Wow. You can't even tell. If you brush that up against literally anything, your arm, you're
05:48gonna get like permanent marker on your arm and it's just gonna fall off. I just- I need to throw
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07:21the video. Yeah we're going to the bathroom in flip-flop. Why are we going to the bathroom
07:27in flip-flops? Is there something I didn't know about? Should we be going to the bathroom with shoes on?
07:31I have been doing it wrong for years. But our flip-flops broke. So what are we doing? Is that
07:38a yoga mat? Are you going to make your own flip-flops? What is going on? We're tracing it like a dead body.
07:47All right. What is going on? What is this? It's just- Oh my god.
07:56We're making our own flip-flops. What flip-flops cost like two dollars that old baby. Tell me in the
08:03comments below. Do you wear flip-flops when you go to the bathroom? Those are ugly. Those are so ugly.
08:10Ew. Look at those flip-flops. I guess they're more sandals because I don't have like that little
08:15thing that goes in between your toes. Oh she's kind of kind of gross feet. I'm not going to lie.
08:18They kind of look like mine. Oh it's a nice vase. Oh you broke it you idiot. Are you going to fix it?
08:24Oh time travel? Oh no we're just if. What if? Improves to sustainability. Is that the hack?
08:33Okay five minute graphs. Let me just give you one of these. Good job. That actually works.
08:40Okay oh yeah that's dusty. Where are you that it's that dusty. I don't uh I'm just gonna say
08:47something really inappropriate. I'm not gonna say it but you know what I mean. Yeah you know you know
08:51what I mean. You gotta like the video if you know what I mean. Oh a painting. A potato. A potato.
08:59A potato fix a painting. You know what I'm gonna take your word for it. I'm not gonna ruin a priceless
09:05painting by rubbing potatoes on it but uh it's just me. Drawing an oval? Or she's trying to draw like a
09:13perfect circle? What is going on? What is happening? What is this?
09:26You're drawing a perfect oval? For what? What is this for? I don't give a f**k. You know what? I just don't
09:34know what scenario I'm gonna be in where I have two thumbtacks and a random string the perfect size
09:41between two thumbtacks to draw the perfect oval. You know what? The irony is there's probably gonna
09:46be a time in my life where a gun is to my head and he's just gonna be like draw a perfect oval now.
09:51And I'll be like thank god for five minute graphs. I got this. Do you have two thumbtacks by the way? No?
09:56Okay well I'd f**k just shoot me a bit. Vino. Wine. Cork won't fit back in. That's what she said.
10:07Leave for three minutes.
10:11You know you can just buy a cork stopper thing for again like a dollar at the dollar store but
10:16yeah soak your cork for three minutes.
10:20Oh no you got a splinter. Look I got a splinter too. Look how this is healing. Look at this. I keep
10:28picking at it. I can't stop. It's so itchy. I'm probably gonna get a scar from all this. Anyway we
10:34have a splinter. A shot glass. How does that work? I guess it's just like pressure on the outside. I'm
10:41not a doctor. I can't confirm or deny this. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it's bulls**t.
10:45Eggs. Broken egg. Oh no. Vinegar.
10:55Actually you know what? I've actually tried this one and it actually works. So good on you five
11:00minute crafts. You're not that stupid. You're really stupid. This is like keeping you above
11:05water a little bit. Just like those eggs. This is body wash? Oh it doesn't matter because we're
11:13cutting it apart. Of course. So we need an exacto knife. A bottle. Scissors. What is this for?
11:22I'm scared. I don't even know what this is for. What is this?
11:30I just know I would cut myself on that plastic.
11:32It's ugly and it's stupid. Just like me. This is so dumb. Well you know what? At least it like drains
11:41at the bottom there I guess. You know no. I'm not throwing them a bone. I'm not throwing. I'm not
11:44doing it. Pringles. Oh sour cream and onion. Fun fact. Not that you give a s**t. Sour cream and onion.
11:51My favorite chip flavor. I don't know why I keep going back to British. Okay we're cutting a hole in it.
11:55Need an exacto knife. All right. What is this for? Is this like a dispensing tool?
12:04For okay. It's like cute if you're like 12 years old and like I'm not gonna put that in my house.
12:11I'm not gonna talk about it either. Like this was a Pringles can and now it's how I dispense my
12:16facial tissues. Like I don't want to admit to eating a whole Pringles can because I will eat a whole
12:21Pringles can. Nasty. And we're cutting s**t again. All right. Listen. I'm getting a little triggered
12:30right now. We know how good I am with knives and exacto knives. Okay. I can't do these art projects.
12:38What the f**k is that for? So ugly. It looks like you went to the dump and just threw s**t on your wall.
12:44I'm sorry. The recycling dump. Whatever that is. And then you're putting your toothbrush in it. It's nasty.
12:50You nasty. Stop it. Dirty chip packet?
12:56Ew. Ew. Why did you just throw it everywhere? Wait.
13:01We've done it five minute crafts. One that I will 100% use.
13:20типа W3 W3.
13:22Joe Barradual.
13:23I'm sorry.
13:24This is your problem.
13:25Any substant wärmy?
13:25Well, just for 15 minutes there.
13:26I go, get access.
13:27Right, As roll.
13:27Here you go, get access.
13:28Here we go, go.
13:29Prepare and see it blazes.
13:30Yeah.
13:31Make sure.
13:32And then you'll go.
13:33Let's make sure.
13:33Awesome.
13:34ater Agent.
13:34Get some Onun könnte getting Chris.
13:35A Bentley,
13:35a Kay.
13:36All gonna go, get it.
13:37you gotta time to get Get our Employment,
13:38Get your...
13:39générate.
13:40It's going to get from yang out of which
13:41they're not going to get
13:42to battle but that know how Poshka's going
13:43onñor Verge,
13:44a little bit Peter Pan,
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