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CreativityTranscript
00:00Hello everybody and welcome back to my youtube channel or welcome to my youtube channel
00:04I'm call me chris and you can call me chris and you have the cutest nose
00:10You know that you got a nice shape. I like that. Let me see the profile. That's nice. All right today
00:15We are gonna be trying some five-minute crafts because you guys like to see me suffer which I
00:20I'll suffer on your behalf of entertainment. So let's get into the video
00:23Okay, we got a ring oh a ring that can't get off i have rings like that fat fingers this way and a condom
00:39I and how do we and you t
00:46You i don't have condoms. I gotta go pick some up. I guess uh, it's gonna be a weird trip
00:52You know, okay, I'll be right back. Okay, let's go pick up some condoms hit the road jack
00:58Don't you come back no more no more
01:02And
01:03I would listen to music, but I can't you know, I like meeting you guys in real life
01:08But this is one of the very few first oh jesus car
01:12This is one of the very few circumstances where I hope I do not see anyone because if I get caught buying extra small condoms
01:19That'll be my 13th reason
01:22I
01:28The condoms have been acquired
01:30In order to mask the fact that I bought condoms I bought so much shit and I went to self-checkout. That's how paranoid I am
01:38Tokyo drift
01:40All right, fam, I am back and I have the condoms I panicked and I just grabbed the first one that I saw I grabbed oh, oh
01:54I grabbed the pleasure pack twisted pleasure ultra ribbed intense ribbed fire and ice
01:58Definitely won't be using the fire and ice put this ring on my finger. She's stuck. She's not coming off. Look at that
02:04So if this doesn't work, I'm suing five-minute crafts. I'm not gonna need any of these these are going in the trash after
02:09I'm abstinent
02:11Oh, I haven't touched one of these and
02:15Why did I choose this?
02:17Which way did these go? I guess this way, right? That's the luby side. Okay. Um, don't try this at kids
02:23What don't try this
02:25Let's just see I guess I just have to roll it down. I guess I just rub it around here. That's you know, that's a little asmr
02:32Really getting it in there. Yeah, okay. I think my finger is thoroughly lubed
02:42I gotta hide that let's see if it works. It's okay. It's slippery. Oh
02:48Oh, is it? Oh, it worked. Look at that that honestly you could probably just use dish soap, but I guess it worked. Okay
02:57Next she's got dirty greasy hair and old spin deodorant and she
03:04That's not what you use
03:06Dry shampoo. I didn't okay. I guess I'm putting deodorant on my head
03:11And it looks just as greasy if I had no faith in this. Okay, let's go do this. Okay. Next we have the hair
03:18They have the hair deodorant trick thing. Uh, I just washed my hair. I don't want to do this
03:23I guess I just gotta mess it up. I can make it really frizzy
03:26Oh
03:28Wait, how do you make shit sticky? I mean sticky staticky balloons. Do I have balloons? Wait, I might have balloons
03:34Even though I'm terrified of them. I could not find balloons. I figured I could use like some sort of staticky fabric kind of thing
03:40So I really want to test this out properly. Is it staticky? A little bit. You know, we'll just try it
03:44I have the degree motion sense ultra clear not sponsored, but like sponsor me because I am a sweaty bitch
03:50Let's see
03:52Oh
03:54My hair is gonna smell like middle-aged women's armpits. That's all any girl wants
03:59It has been applied. Ew now it looks greasy as f**k. Okay
04:04Okay, but my head smells like deodorant. It smells good. Well, I mean it got the frizz down kind of but it looks greasy
04:11It smells like an armpit. I'm not pleased. This one is cap
04:15Okay, we have a permanent sharpie mark and we're lighting it on fire. It's an emergency candle. Holy
04:22Shit, we get to light sh** on fire. Let's do it. Okay. We have sharpie and fire
04:28Jesus
04:28My hands are so slippery from the condom
04:32My hands smell like regret. That's what they smell like. This is not assistance. Oh, we got it. We got it. Okay sharpie
04:37This is supposed to be a temporary candle. I guess I don't know where I'm gonna prop this up gonna be a temporary hazard
04:43I'm gonna blow this whole place apart, but that's fine. All right. Let's light this bitch up. We have fire
04:48Okay, let's do this. Oh god. What if it blows up? It will be fine. Oh
04:54It works. Can I blow it out like a like I'll make a wish. Please don't light my house on fire
05:02Okay, this
05:04I'm gonna concert with a permanent marker in this that would be a concert
05:08Everybody's getting high off permanent marker fumes, but you also have a candle now. It's going out. I wonder if this still works. Let's see
05:17Oh, she's burnt. She's crispy
05:20It's just ash. Okay. She doesn't work anymore, but it is a temporary candle. I will give them that for like 10 seconds
05:26So if you're in a pinch and you need a candle that has essentially no light five minute grass
05:31Next we are out camping
05:35We have chips
05:38Why are you twisting chips? That's not a hack. What are we
05:42We get to light more shit on fire? Let's go
05:59All right folks, I have chips and a flatter and we're gonna go light some chips on fire outside
06:05I feel the need to speak in a country accent while doing this. Let's find a safe spot. Luckily. It's wet as f**k out here
06:10Oh, Kevin. Hey, how you doing? You want to light some chips on fire? No, don't jump on me. I'm gonna back it up
06:15This is Kenny Loggins the danger zone
06:18Go sit over there. You can watch but you can't be a part of this
06:21Oh, it smells good though
06:23Go on the cap. Come here. Sit
06:25Wait, wait, a paw
06:30Okay, go ahead. Have the chip. You earned it. Okay, or fetch the chip. Go get it
06:34I can't imagine being in a situation in a forest and just having Tostitos on me
06:38Okay, we're gonna light some chips on fire. Gather round children. Crazy white lady is outside Walmart lighting Tostitos on fire
06:45All right, here we go. Come on, Tostito fire
06:49Come on. Is it gonna work?
06:51Oh, it's definitely smoking. Oh, it smells so bad. Oh, look at that. We have made fire
06:58We're gonna survive out here. Look at this. We have made
07:04Look at this. What the f**k. All right. Well, there you go
07:07You can either choose to live by eating the Tostitos or staying warm and not getting hypothermia. The choice is yours
07:12I wonder how long this is gonna burn for. I'm gonna try to make it really big. Okay, one sec
07:16I feel like I said crap. Putting kindling on the fire. Oh, I almost ate that
07:24Five minute crafts. Oh god. Oh, it's getting really big
07:30Kevin, get out of the way. Wow
07:32Holy shit balls. Holy shit balls
07:41Don't try this at home
07:44Okay, we have a plastic bag. Oh, we have a knif and more fire
07:49Five minute crafts have so much faith in me and not burning my house down. Fools. Okay, we light a knif on fire
07:55And then we slice it a bag in half
07:59For what? For why? For who? For
08:03Oh, it makes two bags. That makes sense because it cauterizes the plastic on the other side. Science. Let's do it
08:09I have a knif. Why does it have hair on it?
08:12I have a plastic bag. I have a cutting board because safety
08:15Actually, what if it'll burn this won't it? That's fine. I actually got this from Ikea. It was like two dollars
08:21Love Ikea. Not sponsored by Ikea, but hey, Ikea. I guess you guys need to see this. Okay
08:25We have lighter and we have knif and we have bag. Bag is closed. Do I cut this part?
08:30There's no way I'll be able to cut this. It smells like permanent marker and condoms in here
08:34If somebody came in they'd have so many questions that I could not answer. Let's do this. Here we go. Ow
08:42Oh god, I'm just gonna do the tip. That's what she said. Just the tip. Just the tip
08:46These knives are also from Ikea. I don't have a lot of faith in this
08:49Do I have to wait until it's like red? I love how I'm asking questions, but I'm alone and nobody's gonna answer them
08:55Okay, I think that's enough. It's smoking. Let's go
09:00Is it working? Is it working?
09:04Oh, it almost worked
09:07This is my job. Are you proud of me now mom? Go go go go go gadget
09:12Okay, I think I did it. I think I did it. Oh wait. No, I didn't
09:14Oh
09:21Now for the grand reveal. I actually don't know if this worked. Uh, I'm gonna open one of these see if this worked
09:26I'm really excited. Did it work?
09:28Did
09:29What is this shit?
09:30Oh, it didn't work. Oh, it didn't work at all. Look at that. What kind of bag is that?
09:36I guess it's a bag like this way. It's
09:39Maybe the other one worked. Actually, if the other one didn't work, there's no way that this one's gonna work
09:44Is it? Oh five minute craps you suck. I just burnt one of my knives for this. Okay, that was
09:51Okay, let's go to the next one
09:54Already unrealistic
09:56Taking our sock. Oh no, we have a hole in our sock. What's the solution? I if they asked me to sew I swear to god I can't
10:03I felt pet
10:06No, no, no, can you I guess we gotta try it. Okay, here we go
10:12The moment you all you foot freaks have been waiting for let's go. Oh my god. My socks are filthy. Okay. I have black socks
10:19Let's put the black socks on. You want to see my feet? No
10:22You can't
10:23No, you can't do that. Not for free. Anyway, why are they like see-through? I guess I gotta rip these
10:28I'll just try to rip this. Where's my knif? She stabs her toe. I won't stab it. I swear to god
10:34Let's cut this. Oh, I almost cut my toe off. Who needs a toe though, right? You know? All right, let's uh, let's open this up
10:41That's what she said. Oh god, where did the hole go?
10:43That's what she said
10:45freaking
10:47Oh no
10:50I ripped off a little too much. I feel like this is gonna end up on a site that's not youtube. I really hope it doesn't
10:56I got a lot of surface area to cover, but here we go black marker foot. God
11:01I know my whole toe is gonna be permanent markered. I'm gonna look like a frostbite. I'm flexible. Look at that
11:07Can I get my head over here? Whoa, I can almost do that. Okay, let's see if I can actually do this
11:13Almost okay. I'm gonna work on that. That's good. Excuse me when I color my toe. Excuse me. Look at the camera
11:17I'm just gonna draw you on my toes. Let me draw you like one of my French girls. Okay, almost done. Can't see
11:23Can't even tell if I move back here and move it like really fast
11:28Can't even tell. Well now it smells like condoms permanent burnt permanent marker and socks and permanent
11:34Look at that. Wow. Five minute crafts. You have outdone yourself. Oh shit. I missed a spot. God damn it
11:39Okay, well my toe is gonna be black for I don't know how long. Let's go to the next one. Okay
11:45Should have had vessies
11:47Okay, we have our foot in a puddle. Yep
11:49We have an enormous amount of water in our shoes for some reason
11:54Ducktape!
11:58My favorite thing not sponsored by by by but not sponsored by duct tape but hey duct tape
12:04This is your girl if you ever want to sponsor. Hit me up. What are we doing with the duct tape though?
12:09Are you what it but just one foot not the other one we're gonna do it exactly how they did it
12:25Let's get duct tape. I got duct tape. All right, here we go. We're gonna tape our foot up. Oh sock is so dirty
12:32Okay, well, let's go the shit. I do for you people. I swear to god
12:37Vessie is quaking right now bet you woulda wish you sponsored this video. Don't you messy? Please still sponsor me
12:43I should have a doctor on call right now. Probably. I'm trying not to do it too tight, but it's hard. That's what she said
12:49All right, I feel like this suffices
12:53Look up. Oh god. I am losing circulation in my foot very quickly right now. Okay, uh, let's go see how effective this is
13:00We are in the forest because I really want to test this out. I need some water or some puddles or something
13:05Let me know if there's any bears that come up behind me
13:08Look at that mud. Also, there's a lake. Isn't that pretty? I'm wearing one regular shoe and then there's my duct tape foot
13:15Look at that. Oh god. It feels so unstable. My foot's going numb. Shit I do
13:21All right, here we go. Oh god, this is gonna be so bad. Oh, I hope it doesn't get wet
13:24I think it works. It feels so cold
13:33Oh god. Oh, no, no, I had to lose. Oh, no, look at that exposed sock now
13:38I'm gonna get hypothermia and i'm gonna lose my foot. Okay, i'm gonna go back inside update
13:42It took about eight years to take that duct tape off and I have to throw away the sock. So thanks five minute crafts. Oh god
13:48I sprained my ankle
13:50Oh
13:52Okay, I hope you enjoyed the video if you did please like please please god
13:58Please like the video. I went through a lot there and I'd really appreciate a like if you haven't subscribed
14:03You should probably subscribe because this is the best this youtube channel ever and uh, here's a couple other videos that I'm sure you will
14:09Enjoy. I hope you enjoyed the video. I will see you in the next video. I appreciate you very much. Bye
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