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Short filmTranscript
00:00and you still haven't found a mommy for us are you kidding what's going on what's wrong with you
00:07i mean you're trying to kidnap kids mommy mommy daddy we finally found her daddy we cannot let
00:15her know that we're rich i have to make sure that she's going to treat you guys good first
00:18that's a deal get out of my way you touch these kids again and i will kill you
00:26i only make three thousand a month that's fine i'm the driver for a ceo
00:32hey boss bye
00:36seems like he needs our help so let's get to work mom's gonna be very surprised i'll give you
00:43everything you want if you let me what is it quick i'll start thinking about baby names
00:50where'd you get the kids
00:51yep her blood pressure is dropping
01:03come on push we're losing her we're losing her
01:10cassandra i can't believe you got yourself knocked up
01:14you're a skank and a disgrace i'm telling you dad i heard she got blackout drunk at some party and
01:21woke up at a motel two towns over you have to do something about her before she ruins my reputation
01:26pouring herself out like that you lose a moral brat you need to get rid of that bastard child right
01:33away before anyone else finds out do you hear me what about your bastard child right there
01:38hmm you didn't have an eye having her behind mom's back so how about this you get rid of yours and then i'll get rid of mine
01:45get out and stay out
01:47cassandra mortensen
01:48i'm disowning you
01:50agree
01:51exactly what i wanted to hear
01:54congrats mom it's a boy and a girl they're beautiful and they both have the same heart-shaped birthmark on their collarbone just like you
02:12have you found a woman from that night yet
02:28where are my babies
02:36i'm sorry ma'am they both had fatal congenital birth defects
02:40they didn't make it
02:43here you go the babies is promised the mother thinks they're dead and i have the money now
03:03thank you so much for coming i hope you enjoy and let me know if you need anything
03:10thank you yeah thank you
03:12uh mr simon hey hi so i was the top sales employee again this month
03:22yep so i was just you know i was wondering if i could get those commission payouts and bonuses for the past few months
03:32please
03:33please
03:34marry me
03:35i will pay in cash
03:39right now
03:40oh
03:41not to reject you or anything because i would never do that that would be crazy i don't think that my husband would be too happy about that
03:49what
03:50yeah
03:51yeah
03:52you are married
03:53you are married
03:54ruben
03:55ruben
03:56or are you fired
03:57for lying to me
04:01damn it
04:05how the heck am i supposed to find a husband
04:08damn it
04:09damn it
04:10how the heck am i supposed to find a husband
04:17here's the posters they put up this week mr steinwall
04:19up wandered
04:21sinking mother
04:22compensation five million dollars
04:25pants julian steinwall
04:26you rascal what were you thinking putting these up all over the city
04:45but money talks
04:47come on dad
04:48you're going on 35 and you still haven't found your mommy for us
04:52all the kids at school
04:54one of us cause you obviously can't get a girl
04:59another word out of you chance and there's no allowance for you for a mom
05:03every kid grows up with either watch of love or watches money
05:06if you're not willing to give me either i don't want you to be my dad
05:10i don't want you to be my dad
05:14pants hold on
05:17are you kidding
05:20go get them
05:22nevermind chance
05:24just break charity
05:26get me
05:27get me
05:28get me
05:29get me
05:30get me
05:31get me
05:32get me
05:33come on
05:34hey what's going on
05:35I am
05:36hey what is going on
05:38what is wrong with you i mean you're trying to kidnap kids in the middle of broad daylight that's insane
05:45mommy
05:47mommy
05:48mommy
05:49mommy
05:50oh
05:51daddy we finally found her
05:52we finally found mommy
05:53daddy
05:54so um
05:55i'm really sorry about
05:56that
05:57um
05:58um
05:59i'm really sorry about that
06:01what is wrong with you i mean you're trying to kidnap kids in the middle of broad daylight that's insane
06:03mommy
06:04mommy
06:05mommy
06:06oh
06:07daddy we finally found her
06:08we finally found mommy
06:09daddy
06:11daddy
06:13so
06:14um
06:15i'm really sorry about that
06:17i didn't realize you were your dad i didn't know i'm sorry
06:18don't worry
06:19don't worry it's a classic rom-com
06:20cute
06:21don't worry mommy i can buy you a drink myself
06:23oh wow thank you so much bud
06:24um
06:25just one thing why do you all keep calling me mommy
06:29cause i see mommy in my dreams all the time you look just like her
06:33me too i got the same dreams too it's cause we're twins
06:50twins
06:51mine were fraternal twins too
06:54where are my babies
06:56i'm sorry ma'am they both had fatal congenital birth defects
07:00they didn't make it anyway mommy what are you looking for in a future husband
07:09hey now adoption button when kids are talking how about this guy over here
07:17six feet tall handsome great courier two amazing kids but never spends time around any woman
07:30yeah isn't that just your dad's one picture i'm actually six foot two chance stop it right now
07:36or you're grounded okay stop don't ground him they're having fun clearly it's not a big deal
07:41it's okay mommy daddy actually never grounds us he just pretends to be scary oh yeah charity
07:48what do you know about disciplining kids do you have any kids that's what i thought okay chance
07:56charity let's go wait uh what if we got married
07:59then if if we were married i would be okay disciplining them because they'd be mine
08:08there you are you skank i've been looking all over for you
08:12i maxed out my cards buying you clothes and shoes and you you block my number
08:18excuse me for just a second i'll be a trip
08:23i knew it she's just after my money all right we'll go back and wait
08:29cassandra i finally found you you're acting like you haven't seen me in three years it's been what
08:40like three days besides you are a married man
08:46act like it wait a minute you know i was married
08:51and you still spent my money yeah revenge oh also i did send everything i got directly to your wife
09:00so um i hope she loves designer
09:04okay so um anyway y'all got marriage think about it
09:18chance charity why don't the two of you go get some ice cream
09:24yes
09:25sure i'll marry you yeah but just to be clear i don't have a time to find it
09:33are you sure about that because your suit you're wearing looks like really nice actually
09:40i'm the driver for a ceo i only make like eight nine grand a month
09:45eight or nine that's not too bad significantly more than i make so
09:49uh i mean more like eight or nine grand uh quarterly
09:54oh and it fluctuates a lot i only make like two three thousand a month
09:59i mean that's that's not bad that's fine where are you living right now
10:02new parklands
10:03in a one bedroom one bed one bathroom apartment
10:08yeah it's just fairly big enough actually for me and the twins
10:11sorry did you just say new parklands
10:12come on
10:15no that's the literally the heart of the city those places go for what
10:18a couple thousand per square foot
10:21the smallest ones are like two thousand square feet
10:24even if you were the ceo yourself you probably still couldn't afford to live
10:27there come on
10:28yeah no you're right new parklands is crazy
10:31that's crazy
10:32i know i'm sorry i i just do this thing when i get nervous i just start lying
10:36i do that
10:39no i do that too seriously i i work in sales i literally lie to customers for a living
10:44uh no actually though i'm i'm kidding um it's really it's about
10:49about what
10:51it's all about hard work and not giving up
10:54so
10:54keep working hard maybe you'll get to live there one day
10:58anyway i am cassandra
11:02officially introducing myself i sell shoes for a living
11:06i make about three thousand a month but i make commission
11:10so you know i could help out with the kids expenses
11:12stuff like that
11:13uh-huh
11:14whoa
11:15okay actually
11:15don't say anything
11:18a good saleswoman always gives their customer ample time to think things over
11:22so
11:22no rush
11:24think about my answer
11:25okay
11:26why won't you marry her
11:31i'm not gonna drink my milk anymore if you don't marry her
11:35sure
11:36have it your way
11:38miss margaret
11:40there
11:45happy
11:46and what is it with you two in this fascination with this woman anyway
11:50you don't even know her
11:51don't you remember what happened to you when you were little
11:53your old nanny that i had to fire gave you sleeping pills and tried to kidnap you
11:58daddy had to pay a fortune just to get you back
12:00do you really want that to happen again
12:02no no no no no charity charity i'm so sorry did daddy scare you
12:09no i'm hungry
12:10i really wish you could have milk and cereal right now
12:15well
12:16it's sitting there right in front of you why don't you just have some right now
12:19okay
12:20no chance your son can't eat anymore if you're not marrying her
12:25chance
12:27i told you to stop dragging your sister into this
12:29which one will you choose
12:31your pride
12:32or my sister who's starving to death
12:36you kids
12:37all right all right all right i'll marry her
12:41okay
12:41happy
12:43there's just one condition that we have to follow
12:47we cannot let her know that we're rich
12:49okay
12:50i have to make sure that she's going to treat you guys good first
12:53deal
12:54well then that's a deal
12:57you little rascals
13:04we have to pretend to be poor right now
13:09i still got left a few million dollars left for my birthday presents and i still want to buy her a huge diamond tiara
13:19no no no silly that's not enough to get mommy anything
13:25first let's get focused on getting mommy and daddy married
13:29and then she'll get all daddy's money and that will be a lot more than we have
13:38hello
13:41who's this
13:42this is uh
13:44uh uh william
13:46stein
13:46okay and who would that be
13:50your husband
13:50you might want to save this number
13:53oh come on
14:02dude seriously
14:03i mean you are the richest bachelor in winchester i mean you can marry anybody
14:07and you're letting your kids choose
14:09crazy how one night at a bar seven years ago can completely change your life around
14:15i should have never dragged you out for drinks man
14:17i mean you wouldn't have gotten drugged and knocked up a stranger
14:20a little over two grand a month with two kids
14:26girl that does not sound too stable to me
14:29how do you know that he's not using you
14:31he's pretty cute
14:32and the kids
14:33abby
14:34they're a boy and a girl
14:36fraternal twins
14:37they remind me of
14:39my babies
14:41cas
14:44you can't say that out loud ever okay
14:46he's just gonna think you're trying to replace the kids you lost
14:49he won't trust you
14:50yeah
14:51anyway where's the ring
14:53any honeymoon plans
14:55come on we can't afford any of that
14:57girl no
14:58stand up for yourself okay
14:59tell him you want to go shopping right now
15:02shopping
15:03text him
15:04if he's not spending his money on you he's just gonna be spending it on someone else
15:08you know what
15:09there is a little something that i want
15:13gold digger
15:22i knew it she's showing her true colors now
15:23i do think this is really pretty affordable too
15:28okay
15:29yeah i'll take both
15:32so
15:35you're picking something out for the kids
15:38yes
15:39i wanted a gift for him
15:40you know
15:41it's my first time being a mom in all
15:43i wanted to
15:43go with a bang
15:45that'll be
15:47that'll be twelve hundred dollars
15:47please
15:48twelve hundred dollars
15:51for
15:52did i get a discount
15:54i did get two
15:55but i won't get one
15:56uh
15:57no
15:57we don't do that around here
15:59come on
16:01work with me here
16:03i actually work here too
16:04right around the corner
16:04lita's luxury shoes
16:05ever heard of it
16:06so you
16:07you throw me a bone here
16:08i'll hook you up next time you come into the stock
16:11yeah i'll throw in a free paraheel projector set with that
16:13it's only twelve hundred dollars
16:17i mean if you can't afford it
16:18you don't need to waste my time
16:20are you taking them or not?
16:25yeah
16:25yeah
16:26i'm taking them
16:28i'll take them
16:29they do do discounts right now
16:36uh
16:37birthdays
16:37holidays
16:38stuff like that
16:38although it's not my birthday
16:39i guess that was a
16:40fun shot
16:41but
16:42mommy
16:42mommy
16:43mommy you can take one
16:44we'll take children like a gift for you
16:47thank you
16:48what about this one over here
16:52it looks nice doesn't it
16:54of course it's nice
16:56it's a hundred fifty thousand dollars
16:58a hundred and fifty thousand dollars
17:03for that
17:04my mom would like to try it on
17:07oh
17:09if you can't afford to buy it
17:11you can't afford to try it on
17:13i can be held responsible if you damage such a precious
17:16daddy can you keep fighting for mommy
17:22okay sweetheart i'll buy it
17:25i'm so sorry charity i seem to have left my wallet at home
17:34sir
17:34if you'd like some other options
17:37there's a goodwill right around the corner
17:39that might be more of your scene
17:41i'm doubting my father
17:45because you think he can't afford it
17:47what's going on here
17:49mr richard
17:50sir
17:50hello mr richards
17:52my wife here was
17:55looking at the rings over there
17:57and this is blocking it right here
17:58but i seem to have forgot my wallet at home
18:00you guys do discounts for birthdays right
18:02just so happens to be my birthday today
18:05i was hoping
18:08you get that discount
18:11okay you know what will let's just call it
18:21if this was half off we couldn't afford it
18:22let alone some birthday discount
18:23uh gillian
18:24what what was that
18:27what
18:27the necklace everything is free don't worry about it you have to pay
18:31no
18:32no
18:32uh we'll even throw in the uh rings for the kiddos
18:35yes
18:36oh
18:37uh you enjoy your birthday right
18:40free
18:40yes
18:41thank you
18:43thank you so much
18:44thank you charity
18:44you have yourself a fantastic birthday
18:46oh
18:46yeah
18:47thank you
18:47yes
18:48thank you
18:50hope to see you soon
18:51sir
18:53what the hell
18:55how could you give away all of that for free richard
18:58you're the stupidest person in this entire ball
19:04that was killian steinwell
19:05the wealthiest man in all of winchester
19:08you know when the recession happened
19:10he kept this entire company alive
19:12and your salary
19:13i can keep up to hold that door
19:15everything for him
19:17she'll be right with you sir
19:19oh my god
19:24we got all of that for free
19:25he just gave us up
19:26that is quite the birthday discount
19:27if i've ever seen one
19:28i'm gonna come back every year
19:29it's settled
19:30wait
19:32why'd you take that off
19:34well it's expensive
19:36i want to keep it in pristine condition
19:38for when charity grows up
19:40i think she's gonna love it one day
19:41right
19:42yeah
19:43it was only 150,000 dollars
19:45i got it for you
19:46keep it
19:47did you just say only 150,000 dollars
19:51what do you think you are
19:54some sort of billionaire
19:54that was crazy
19:55that was a crazy statement
19:56anyway
19:57who wants to see what i got for you two
19:59me
20:00yes yes yes
20:01all right
20:01all right it's right in here
20:03ready
20:04necklaces
20:06here i'll put them on you guys
20:07ready
20:07ready
20:09thank you
20:11oh nice
20:12that birthmark on his collarbone
20:15one for charity
20:18yes
20:20oh charity has the birthmark too
20:24congrats mama
20:27it's a boy and a girl
20:28they're beautiful
20:30and they both have the same
20:31heart-shaped birthmark
20:32on their collarbone
20:33just like you
20:34they both have the heart-shaped birthmark
20:38oh
20:40where'd you get the kids
20:43get the kids
20:45from their mom
20:50what do you think i popped them out
20:52right
20:54right uh so where is their mom now
20:58uh
20:59the ex-wife
21:01she moved to europe
21:06after the divorce
21:06we gave a fashion designer
21:08stop it
21:09cassandra
21:10of course they have a mom
21:12your bio kids died
21:13seven years ago
21:14oh
21:16hi
21:22miss mortenson
21:23you booked an appointment with us today
21:24to look at a three-bedroom apartment
21:26yeah
21:26sure
21:27sure
21:27yeah we'll be right over
21:28all right
21:32who wants to go see our new apartment
21:33you
21:35wait wait wait hold on
21:38our new apartment
21:40like the four of us
21:41living together
21:42yeah
21:43come on
21:45it's kind of being married
21:45if we're not sharing expenses
21:47trust me
21:48it is much cheaper to rent as a couple
21:50but i am going to try to talk the realtor down
21:53a little bit price-wise
21:54i'm going to need all three of your helps
21:56all right
21:57listen up
21:58anytime she asks you any question
21:59this is what i'm going to need
22:00i'm going to need all of you to be like
22:02hmm
22:03i don't know
22:04like i don't think about that
22:05i'm not sure
22:05stuff like that
22:07to talk her down
22:07got it
22:08thumbs up
22:09got it
22:09all right
22:11yeah
22:11let's go
22:12what'd you think about the apartment
22:18uh
22:19yeah i mean it's okay
22:20it's just the master bedroom's a little small for us
22:24all right
22:26you said it was 4,000 a month
22:27right
22:28that's just
22:29it's a bit out of our budget
22:31right
22:32well
22:33oh right
22:39right
22:39yeah
22:40yeah
22:40it's what
22:41800 square feet
22:42i mean how the hell is anyone supposed to live in a place like that
22:45yeah
22:46the living room's smaller than the guest bathroom at home
22:49and the kitchen doesn't even have a private shelf
22:52it's a three bedroom for 4,000 right in winchester city
22:59if you're gonna act like that then i'm sorry
23:01but i can't help you
23:03nobody can
23:04have a great day
23:07no i
23:08i told you guys to be nitpicky not insane
23:14great
23:16great
23:17that's awesome
23:17we just we don't have a place to live
23:18but that's okay
23:19we can
23:19come get your tent
23:21right
23:22don't worry
23:25it's all mine
23:26we have tons of houses all over the world
23:29like in france
23:30and
23:31okay buddy
23:33i told you those are monopoly houses
23:35not real houses
23:36right
23:37we can't actually live there
23:39this is real life
23:40hey
23:43i was looking at some properties too
23:44actually you want to go check them out
23:46yeah
23:47what yeah yeah let's go
23:49you did it
23:55come on kids let's go
23:56whoa
23:59wow okay so
24:02this is a
24:05a four bedroom for only 3,000 a month
24:08uh it's 2,000
24:09actually
24:10was someone murdered here
24:13why is it so cheap
24:14why is it only
24:192,000 a month
24:21uh
24:22it's my ex-boss's
24:24place
24:25he's renting it out to us
24:26he's very picky about who he rents it out to
24:28let's see
24:29they have to be married
24:31no single renters
24:33no one over the age of 34
24:35they have to have kids
24:37twins specifically
24:39a boy and a girl
24:40yeah
24:41yeah
24:42that's it
24:43um and we check all those boxes
24:44so that's why he's giving us such a good deal on it
24:46yeah
24:47wow
24:48wow
24:50and we get all of this
24:59uh-huh
25:01yeah
25:01yeah
25:02all ours
25:04we get to move in here today
25:05if we want
25:06I mean new homes
25:11new beginnings
25:11I guess
25:12I'm gonna go ahead
25:13and I'm gonna make you guys something super special for dinner
25:15okay
25:17uh come on dad
25:19let's help mommy
25:20where's charity at
25:23and we get to do music
25:28hold on
25:30hold on
25:30hold on
25:31hold on
25:32hold on
25:33oh
25:35oh
25:36oh
25:37oh
25:38oh
25:39oh
25:40oh
25:41oh
25:41oh
25:42oh
25:42oh
25:42oh
25:42Thank you mommy, it tastes so good and looks so good.
25:59Wow.
26:00These do look good.
26:03That's it.
26:05That's it.
26:06Those are for the kids, okay?
26:09Just, whenever they don't finish, I'm gonna whip up and turn to a pasta.
26:14Alright, trust me, it's gonna be good.
26:16You sure?
26:17Yes, I'm sure.
26:19See, I told you they wouldn't have it all.
26:23Cass, I didn't know you could cook so good.
26:26I can do more than just cook.
26:28Sewing, home repairs, change attire.
26:31I can do it all.
26:34Where'd you learn to do all that?
26:36What, did you have a job or something?
26:38Not exactly, no.
26:40Okay, if you wanna learn any life skills, all you have to do is
26:43A, have your mom die when you're really young.
26:46B, have your dad remarry.
26:48And C, have that person he remarries be an evil, evil stepmother.
26:52Just do all of that and I guarantee you will have life skills faster than you think.
26:57What do you think?
26:59Mommy, that's what happened with Cinderella, right?
27:02Does that mean you're Cinderella?
27:04And that's the same thing that happened with Prince Charming.
27:09Does that mean you're Prince Charming?
27:11Honestly, yeah, when you put it like that, that kind of is a sound.
27:16I mean, no seriously, everything with the shoes and your driver, that's cute.
27:21There's more than enough to let the life...
27:23All right, Prince Charming, I'm gonna go get the dishes.
27:26I don't know.
27:27You sit down, princess.
27:29I'll be doing the dishes around here.
27:32Don't let it be.
27:38Hi, I, I, marriage certificate right here, so I am married.
27:42Ooh.
27:43Can I have my commission?
27:44You're married?
27:45Yep.
27:46Yeah.
27:47Mm-hmm.
27:48That's even better.
27:50A secret place.
27:52I don't like my relationship.
27:55It's spicy.
27:57Say yes to me, and you get your commission.
28:01Behave yourself, Mr. Simon.
28:03I'm recording the whole thing right here.
28:05Ooh.
28:06If my husband sees that, he's not gonna be happy.
28:08Oh, yeah?
28:09I heard that he's some driver.
28:12He has two kids.
28:14Those puttos mocosos.
28:17When you became a real...
28:20...winner?
28:22To be romantic.
28:27We were meant to be?
28:29What are you?
28:30Some kind of wacko fucking fortune teller?
28:33So what?
28:34You are a poor tax driver.
28:36I don't need to read to start sighing.
28:39To know that you are dying in poverty.
28:43Huh.
28:44Funny.
28:45I'm a bit of a fortune teller myself.
28:46And right now, my fortune is saying your future looks pretty grim.
28:51Because in about five minutes, I'm gonna beat this shit out of you.
28:54And you're gonna lose your job.
29:01You are lying.
29:02I need to make a phone call.
29:09Tell her if you need anything, right?
29:14You never get to commission now.
29:16You are fired.
29:17I'm suing you for my medical bills.
29:19Just your way, Cassandra.
29:21I ruin you.
29:22Hey, boss.
29:23What's up?
29:24What?
29:25I am fired?
29:26Wait, wait.
29:27No, no, no.
29:28Are you actually a fortune teller?
29:29Because now it's insane.
29:30No, I dabbled in it here and there.
29:31Oh?
29:32To make ends meet.
29:33Wow.
29:34That's crazy.
29:35Well, could you tell me when that 80K is gonna hit my account?
29:39Because I could use that right now.
29:40Let me show you a magic trick.
29:41I'd say you'd see it right.
29:42I'd say you'd see it right.
29:43Right.
29:44Right.
29:45Right.
29:46Right.
29:47Right.
29:48Right.
29:49Right.
29:50Right.
29:51Right.
29:52Right.
29:53Right.
29:54Right.
29:55Right.
29:56Right.
29:57Right.
29:58Right.
29:59Right.
30:00Right.
30:01Right.
30:02Right.
30:03Right.
30:04Right.
30:05Right.
30:06Right.
30:07Right.
30:08Right.
30:09Right.
30:10Right.
30:11Right.
30:12Right.
30:13Right.
30:14Right.
30:15Right.
30:16Right.
30:17Right.
30:18What?
30:19I can't believe you're so excited over a mere 80K.
30:21Um, did you just say a mere 80K?
30:24Okay. That is so much money. Do you have any idea how much money that is?
30:29I'll instruct Goldwill!
30:33Yeah.
30:36I was working under one of my family businesses.
30:39I'll get her job all sorted out.
30:41Thanks, bro.
30:42You know how you treat her awfully well for one of those contract marriages?
30:47Oh, don't tell me you caught feelings for her.
30:52Oh, you still got that scar, huh?
30:55Tell you what. Drop by the hospital at some point, and I'll get dermatology to fix it up right for you.
31:01Sir.
31:02Thanks.
31:06No way. You moved in with him?
31:08Okay, how's married life, girl?
31:10Stop. Stop. It's not like that, okay? It's a contract marriage. We don't even sleep in the same bedroom.
31:14Oh, my God. Jeez. Cass, come on.
31:17Don't tell me you're too shy to make a move.
31:19You really have to get back out there.
31:21I mean, you literally haven't been with anyone else since that one guy from, like, seven years ago.
31:26Come on.
31:28Do you really not remember anything at all?
31:31Nothing?
31:32Please.
31:34With how drunk I was at night, I can't even remember his face.
31:37Damn.
31:38Okay, I mean, there's one thing about him I remember, but it's small. It's minor.
31:42Oh, my God. Tell me. What is it?
31:44He had, like, um, like a scar right at the bottom of his abs.
31:50Oh, my son. I fucking want you to.
31:54Oh.
31:57Oh.
31:59Hey, uh, are the kids worried? Look, are the kids asleep?
32:05Oh, sorry.
32:06The kids, yeah, I just read them a bedtime story, and, yeah, they're asleep.
32:11Cool.
32:12Um, you know, I'm just going to go to bed. I'm going to go to the guest room.
32:16Um, okay. Good. Sleep tight.
32:21Okay, um, both go to the right.
32:24Yeah?
32:26All right, one, two, three.
32:27Okay. Wait.
32:29He's such a straight-laced man.
32:31He doesn't even know how to flirt, and that's his wife.
32:37Seems like he needs our help.
32:39Again.
32:44I'm going to go this way.
32:45Yeah, yeah.
32:45Mommy!
32:47Hi.
32:48Mommy, can we sleep with you tonight?
32:50Yes, please, Mom.
32:52Chance, Charity, what are you doing? I just read to you your bedtime story. You need to be asleep.
32:56Well, you know what?
32:59Why don't I just take the big bed with them, and you can go to the guest room tonight?
33:02All right. That sounds good.
33:04Thanks.
33:05All right.
33:06No! Daddy, you two!
33:08I can't do that. I have to be up early tomorrow.
33:11Guys, go to bed with mom, okay?
33:12Daddy, just this once. Daddy, please!
33:14I'll be once they fall asleep.
33:26It won't be long.
33:27I'll be once they fall asleep.
33:28It won't be long.
33:29If daddy gets cold, he'll snuggle up with mommy, just like a real couple.
33:46Yeah.
33:47I'll be once they fall asleep.
33:56I'll be once they fall asleep.
33:59Holy shit
34:14Those pecs
34:16And those abs
34:19Oh, I cannot be having those thoughts about him
34:23Wait, how come he has a scar there too?
34:29What are you doing?
34:36Cassandra, what are you doing here?
34:38This wasn't a part of the deal
34:40We were supposed to put the kids to sleep
34:41Not be sleeping here
34:42Together
34:43What am I doing?
34:46You're under my blanket right now, mister
34:48Chance!
34:53Get in here right now!
34:54Stop yelling it then
34:56They were probably cold
34:57Besides
34:59You're my husband now
35:02It means I can do whatever I want with you
35:05Including sleeping in the same bed
35:08Are you trying to take advantage of me right now?
35:12I think they're gonna kiss
35:14Alright, you two
35:17Let's get some breakfast in those bellies
35:18Let's go
35:24This mattress is so uncomfortable
35:26I can't sleep on this
35:28Boris
35:34Yeah, you remember that $90,000 mattress?
35:38Send one to my new place
35:40Thanks
35:41Um, what is all this?
35:55Um, this is an old mattress that I found downstairs
35:59I figured I'd try to salvage it
36:00Because we're trying to save money where we can't, right?
36:02Yeah
36:03Yeah
36:03Yeah, cool
36:05Lucky find
36:05Awesome
36:06Oh, is this a Constantine?
36:10These watches are like $200,000
36:15Why do you have a watch this expensive?
36:18And why do you have a watch that expensive?
36:20Uh, sorry about that
36:22This is actually fake
36:23I still wear it because I'm a chauffeur and I have to look the part
36:27But this is only like $50
36:28They sell like $50?
36:30They sell like $50?
36:33Oh, man
36:34It looks really real
36:35Oh, you have to give me one
36:39Yes
36:41Yes, see, I have this friend
36:42Her birthday's coming up
36:43And she's obsessed with watches
36:44Usually the fakes are like crazy expensive
36:46Though, please
36:47Uh, Cass, I don't think that's a good idea
36:50I mean, this is a fake watch
36:51You don't want to give your friend a fake watch
36:53But I'm not going to get her one
36:54I'm going to get her five
36:55Yeah, yeah, yeah
36:56I'll send you the money
36:57Okay, don't even worry about that
36:58Just take care of getting the watches
37:00Doesn't even have to be a Constantine
37:01Anything that they have
37:02Rolex
37:03Um, whatever
37:04She loves them all
37:05If they look as good as this does
37:06She's going to love it
37:09Thank you
37:10Uh-huh
37:13Yeah
37:14All right, so you guys go ahead
37:21Take this
37:21With some ice cream
37:23Hey, I got one
37:24I'll meet you guys there, okay?
37:34Welcome to Lido's Luxury Shoes
37:35Can I help?
37:37Cassandra
37:38What are you doing here?
37:40Can't believe you're working customer service
37:42Hmm, how the mighty's fallen
37:44You should have told us
37:46That way we could have laughed in your face sooner
37:48I bet you're regretting going no contact with us when you did
37:51You know what?
37:52Yeah, I do regret that
37:54I wish I had left that hellhole sooner
37:57That's what I wish
37:58Wait, yeah
38:02Dad just bought me a new villa last week
38:04Jealous?
38:06Excuse me
38:07Ma'am
38:08Are you going to purchase anything?
38:10Because the door is right over there
38:12If not, feel free to use it
38:13Of course I'm going to buy something
38:16And I want you to serve me
38:20Personally
38:23Quick, charity, call daddy
38:29Tell him mommy's getting bullied
38:30Come on
38:31Okay, these are from our curated collection
38:36I think you'll really like them
38:38Get them
38:39I want you to put them on my feet
38:42Sure thing, ma'am
38:47Mm-hmm
38:47Aw, look at you
38:51We came from the same family
38:53Went to the same fashion school
38:55And now look at us
38:57I'm a hot couture designer
38:59And you're putting on my shoes for me
39:02Like a little maid
39:03Ow
39:04Vanessa
39:06Ow
39:07Ow
39:09Vanessa
39:10Ow
39:12Get me something else
39:13I don't like them
39:15Right away
39:19Ma'am
39:20These might be more to your taste
39:30These are handcrafted in Italy
39:32Typically reserved for VIP clients
39:34This pink pair in particular
39:37Is a one-of-a-kind unique design
39:39So
39:40That's more like it
39:52Yeah, you like them?
39:53We do also have those in purple
39:54They are also part of our premium collection
39:56With a price tag to match
39:58Eight thousand dollars
39:59Of course, that shouldn't be a problem for you
40:02Right?
40:03You are a hot couture designer
40:04Of course
40:06I have the money
40:07I'll just pick whichever pair I like more
40:10Just give me one second
40:15Okay?
40:16Right
40:16What are you doing?
40:19I'm just
40:20I'm helping
40:20There
40:22Okay, I just sent a poll to our entire high school
40:24Right?
40:25Ran into Vanessa Mortensen
40:26At Lido's luxury shoes
40:27Help her decide between these two pairs
40:29Of ultra-high-end heels
40:30She can't afford them both
40:31Oh my god
40:33The results are already coming up
40:33People are already voting
40:34That's crazy
40:35They love them
40:37Vanessa
40:38Oh, you really should get both
40:40Unless you really can't afford them
40:41Money's not a problem
40:47Awesome
40:47Pack them up
40:49Great
40:51So
40:51That'll be eight thousand for the purple pair
40:53And ten thousand for those pink ones right there
40:55Awesome
40:56How would you like to pay?
40:57Cash or card
40:57Great
41:03That was more than a month's worth of commission for me
41:05Thank you so much
41:06I really do hope to see you again yourself
41:08Get out of my way
41:12Hey, are you okay?
41:17Are you okay?
41:17I'm fine
41:18I'm fine
41:19I'm fine
41:19Let go of me, you psycho
41:25You can threaten me
41:27Harass me
41:29Even assault me
41:30But you touch these kids again
41:32And I will kill you
41:34Bitch
41:34What are you gonna do about it?
41:37I'm the customer
41:38I can do whatever I want
41:39You better back off
41:41Or I'll get you fired
41:42You better back off
41:45Or I'll get you fired
41:46Yeah, go ahead
41:47I already got my commission
41:48And my bonus payout anyway
41:50What is that supposed to mean?
41:52That's mean
41:53I don't have to fold it back
41:59Just you wait, Cassandra Mortensen
42:08Hi, baby
42:12Hi
42:13Hey, are you okay?
42:14You're okay
42:14I'm totally fine
42:16Okay
42:16What are you doing here?
42:19Charity told me
42:20There was a damsel in distress in here
42:22But
42:22Looks like Miss Damsel
42:27Has it under control
42:28I'm sorry
42:29I let Chance get hurt today
42:32How you doing, buddy?
42:35I'm fine, Daddy
42:36He doesn't burn anymore
42:37See?
42:39He's alright
42:40One more thing
42:41I, uh
42:42I kind of quit my job
42:45Just now
42:46What?
42:47Why'd you do that?
42:49You're the kind of person
42:50You got married
42:50Just to get a bonus
42:51Why'd you quit so fast?
42:54She went after the kids
42:55Well, that's where I draw the line
42:57I got bullied a lot
43:01When I was their age
43:02I don't want that from them
43:04Well, I mean
43:05There's plenty of other jobs out there, right?
43:08Hey
43:08I'll pick up some more hours
43:11I need to
43:11Here
43:14You can use this for now
43:17I'm the guy
43:22Let me take care of things for a bit
43:24Oh, wow
43:26So mysterious
43:27So cool
43:28Acting like a CEO over there
43:30I know, right?
43:33I might just treat myself to a fancy dinner
43:35Tonight
43:36Hey
43:36I'm kidding
43:37Don't get carried away
43:38I'm kidding
43:39Don't
43:40That was really sweet
43:41Thank you
43:41So much for three years of work
43:46I guess I never really came to my grocery store
43:49What's this?
43:52Nothing
43:52No, it's just something I scribbled
43:54When I was born to work
43:55Cassandra, these are professional
43:58You have a real talent for this
44:00Why don't you work at a fashion studio?
44:03I did go to fashion school, you know
44:05Best in the country, actually
44:08But
44:10Senior year, somebody stole my designs
44:13And
44:14I got kicked out for plagiarism
44:16Blacklisted from all the major crash analysis
44:19What?
44:22It was like seven years ago
44:23I'm over it, I promise
44:24It's done
44:25Oh, damn
44:26I mean, every time you talk about your life
44:27It just gets worse and worse, you know
44:29Okay, and what are you getting so worked up about?
44:32It's my life
44:33I'm fine with it
44:34Besides
44:35I might not have ever met you
44:37Or the kids
44:39If I was
44:39I was still in school, you know
44:41You know, there's got to be some company out there
44:43That doesn't care about your education
44:45How about YS House?
44:49YS House?
44:51Yeah
44:51Why don't you trade your luck there at least?
44:55Hey
44:55What's the worst that could happen?
44:57Horace
45:06Call the director down at YS House
45:08And set an appointment up for a Miss Cassandra Mortensen
45:11Oh, sir
45:13I didn't know they were hired
45:14They're hiring now
45:16Oh, my God
45:21Will?
45:25Will!
45:25Will, I got the job at YS House
45:27I got it
45:27You should be thinking they're dead, not them
45:38I think somebody is jealous
45:42Me?
45:43Oh, you're talking about me
45:45Yeah, Dallas
45:46Yeah, Dallas
45:48Dallas
45:48Yeah, Dallas
45:50Oh, my God
45:51Thank you
45:57Are you sure your boss is cool with you taking his car like that?
46:06Hey, boss
46:06Sorry for running late
46:08Traffic
46:09Boss
46:10Sorry, I thought you said you were a driver
46:14Good one, boss
46:16This is Horace, the CEO's assistant
46:19That's right
46:22I am the CEO's assistant
46:23Yes, and I'm the driver
46:25And you are the driver
46:26Yeah
46:26Of course
46:27Well, I guess I'll let you
46:28Drive
46:29Yeah, let me drive us to work
46:31You can sit in the back seat
46:33I'll sit in the back
46:34You drive
46:34William
46:36Yes
46:37That's my name
46:38Yeah
46:38You're gonna have such a good first day
46:41Dang
46:42What are we doing?
46:44Play along
46:45Just play along
46:46Hey, wait, wait
46:51You didn't, like
46:52Pull any strings to get me into YS House
46:55Pull strings?
46:57Pull strings?
46:57Yeah
46:57Come on, Cass
46:58The only thing I know how to pull is a clutch
47:02No, you got the job because you're good enough
47:05All right
47:06Let's go
47:08Okay, this is the conference room
47:15And here is the common space where everybody is
47:18Hi everyone
47:20Hi everyone, my name is Cassandra Mortensen
47:21I'm starting today
47:22Cassandra Mortensen
47:25Wow
47:27Didn't expect you to show up here
47:29Vanessa?
47:31What are you doing here?
47:34That's what I should be asking you, bitch
47:36Of course I'd end up working with my college dropout cheating sister
47:40That's right
47:41Her sister plagiarized her senior project and got kicked out
47:43Don't worry, she works at that shitty boutique at the mall
47:46If any of you have a problem with me being here
47:49Take it up with the hiring manager
47:51Because I am not leaving
47:53Get a room, ladies
47:54Mr. Leroy is coming in soon
47:56Cassandra, I want you sitting in
47:58To learn how we run things around here, okay?
48:02Mr. Leroy is our newest client
48:04He's worked with all the top fashion houses in France
48:07So just stay out of the way
48:08And don't mess this up for everyone
48:10To be honest, I'm a bit disappointed with your designs today
48:21I expected better
48:23Sir, my designs are based off Monet's water lilies
48:27The colors
48:28Yes, yes, yes, Monet
48:30It's always flowers and pictures with you people
48:33Don't you know anything else about France?
48:37I have something else, sir
48:38Shut it, idiot
48:40I'd like to see it
48:42But I'm warning you
48:44Don't disappoint me
48:46Um, this piece I call out of the canon
48:49Out of the canon?
48:55My apologies, sir
48:56My sister, she's new
48:57She technically shouldn't even be here
48:59Because she was kicked out of fashion school for plagiarism
49:01Oh, really?
49:05No, no, I never plagiarized
49:07Although this is actually inspired by other people's work
49:12This is inspired by other people's work
49:18The Parisian street artists
49:22Sometimes the best art isn't found in a museum
49:25It's all around you, especially in a city as unique and vibrant as Paris
49:30I feel like it's important for people to stop and take a look at what's going on around them
49:35Out of the canon
49:37Out of the canon
49:37Spray can
49:38That is a fantastic idea
49:41The best one I've heard all day
49:43Why wasn't it with the others?
49:45Oh, that's my fault
49:46I turned it in late
49:47That's all right
49:48You obviously know French culture
49:50You don't also have to know wines, do you?
49:54Oh
49:54Well, let's just say I have quite the collection
49:57And, you know, a glass of wine here or there helps me need a little inspiration
50:01I've lost
50:04Someone who understands me
50:05Quite the collection, huh, Cass?
50:08Well, how about this?
50:09How about you have Mr. LaRolled over tonight?
50:11We'll all tag along to see where you get all your inspiration from
50:14I'm sure you'd love to have us over, right?
50:17Oh!
50:18You know, well, the thing is
50:20That is a brilliant idea
50:22I'd love to see how you work, Sandra
50:25Oh, so it's settled
50:27I'll see you at six
50:29I would love to see how you pull this one off in your shitty one-bedroom shack
50:36Well, hey
50:43Mommy, Daddy's on the worst trip
50:45Did you need anything?
50:47All right
50:47Chance, Charity, listen up
50:49Um, here's the deal
50:51Mommy has got a really, really big client
50:55Who wants to come over to our house tonight at 6 p.m.
50:57With a lot of people in there expecting
50:59Fancy wine and dinner
51:01Guess what?
51:03We don't have any of that
51:04So, I'm gonna need your help right now
51:05I'm gonna need your help whenever everybody shows up tonight
51:07I'm gonna need you to pretend like nobody's home
51:09And I'm gonna need you to not open the door under any circumstances
51:12Got it?
51:15Okay, thank you
51:17Does Mommy need their help again?
51:21Yes, indeed, Charity
51:23And we're not six anymore
51:25We're seven
51:26It's time to get to work
51:27Hello, this is Margaret
51:35Our new mommy needs your help
51:38All right, everyone
51:46Attention, please
51:47We only have one hour to work
51:49So, let's get to work
51:50Come on, let's run
51:57What's up?
51:57I guess I'm kidding, Adams
51:59All right, all right
52:01Let's go for 10K on the top, Joe
52:04Sparkling and rosé on the side
52:06Just don't even bother with anything
52:08Where do you want this antique?
52:10To hold this place in the kitchen, of course
52:13Where would you like this, Matisse?
52:15I'm gonna have a few more homes next to the Japanese watercolors
52:18All right
52:18Mom's gonna be very surprised
52:22She's gonna love it
52:24Oh, man, Ash
52:31Looks like nobody's home
52:32And I don't have my keys, so
52:34Welcome home, Mommy
52:36Yeah, let's do it
52:50Hey
52:51Cass, what is this?
53:01A home goods?
53:03Please
53:04A fake Matisse?
53:07It's true
53:07Daddy got it an option
53:09Don't lie, rat
53:11Lying makes you ugly
53:13Well, where's your wine collection for Mr. LaRolle?
53:18Wine collection for Mr. LaRolle
53:20Oh, Mr. LaRolle
53:22A pleasure to meet you
53:24Mommy mentioned you have a great taste in wine
53:27Feel free to look around
53:29And tell me if there's something you like
53:31What is all this?
53:35You just slapped a bunch of fake labels on these, didn't you?
53:38I can't even pronounce half of them
53:40That's not...
53:41That's right, Mr. LaRolle
53:43This is LaRolle
53:45Carton Charlemont
53:47And this one is Chateau Lafitte
53:511988
53:53This one, of course, is Roney Conti
53:56Vintage
53:58Limited edition
53:59Sold at auction for $18,000
54:04You're a dirty little liar
54:05Just like your stepmom
54:06Hey, watch it, Vanessa
54:07Oh, and you're the ugly witch
54:11Who has no idea what you're talking about
54:13Oh, let me change that
54:15Monster
54:15Why, you...
54:18I can't believe it
54:20This is the real deal
54:22I didn't realize you had such a collection
54:27It's incredible
54:28But they still seem a bit fancy
54:30For a casual gathering like this
54:33Don't worry, Mr. LaRolle
54:35Mom picked out this one special
54:37We actually have plenty more in storage
54:40Uh-huh
54:42May I?
54:43Of course
54:44How did the kids just pull us off?
54:46Did Will put them up to the...
54:47I'm so excited
54:53Yes, enjoy
55:01Excuse me
55:01Just a moment
55:02Hey
55:04Where did you guys get this?
55:09Me and Charity
55:10Wanted at a raffle
55:12Raffle
55:13We...
55:14There was a promotion at the mall
55:16And they just gave it to us
55:18Come on, Cassandra
55:20Uh...
55:23Yeah, come in
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