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  • 2 days ago
Our Mommy's Back 1
Transcript
00:00and you still haven't found a mommy for us are you kidding what's going on what's wrong with you
00:07i mean you're trying to kidnap kids mommy mommy daddy we finally found her daddy we cannot let
00:15her know that we're rich i have to make sure that she's going to treat you guys good first
00:18that's a deal get out of my way you touch these kids again and i will kill you
00:26i only make three thousand a month that's fine i'm the driver for a ceo
00:32hey boss bye
00:36seems like he needs our help so let's get to work mom's gonna be very surprised i'll give you
00:43everything you want if you let me what is it quick i'll start thinking about baby names
00:50where'd you get the kids
00:51yep her blood pressure is dropping
01:03come on push we're losing her we're losing her
01:10cassandra i can't believe you got yourself knocked up
01:14you're a skank and a disgrace i'm telling you dad i heard she got blackout drunk at some party and
01:21woke up at a motel two towns over you have to do something about her before she ruins my reputation
01:26pouring herself out like that you lose a moral brat you need to get rid of that bastard child right
01:33away before anyone else finds out do you hear me what about your bastard child right there
01:38hmm you didn't have an eye having her behind mom's back so how about this you get rid of yours and then i'll get rid of mine
01:45get out and stay out
01:47cassandra mortensen
01:48i'm disowning you
01:50agree
01:51exactly what i wanted to hear
01:54congrats mom it's a boy and a girl they're beautiful and they both have the same heart-shaped birthmark on their collarbone just like you
02:12have you found a woman from that night yet
02:28where are my babies
02:36i'm sorry ma'am
02:38they both had fatal congenital birth defects
02:40they didn't make it
02:43here you go the babies is promised the mother thinks they're dead and i have the money now
03:03thank you so much for coming i hope you enjoy and let me know if you need anything
03:10thank you
03:11yeah thank you
03:13uh mr timon hey hi so i was the top sales employee again this month
03:22yep so i was just you know i was wondering if i could get those commission payouts and bonuses for the past few months now please
03:33marry me
03:36marry me
03:37i will pay in cash right now
03:40oh
03:41yeah
03:42not to reject you or anything because i would never do that that would be crazy i don't think that my husband would be too happy about that
03:50what
03:51yeah
03:52you are married
03:53you are married
03:54ruben
03:55ruben
03:56or are you do a fire
03:57you are married
03:58you are married
03:59you are married
04:00you are married
04:01you are married
04:05damn it
04:08how the heck am i supposed to find a husband
04:14Here's the posters they put up this week, Mr. Steinwall.
04:20Help wanted, sinking mother, compensation $5 million.
04:25Pants, Julian Steinwall.
04:27You rascal! What were you thinking putting these up all over the city?
04:46Pants, running talks. Come on, Dad.
04:49We're going on 35 and you still haven't found your mommy for us.
04:53All of the kids at school are in front of us because you.
04:57Obviously, Pants gets a girl.
05:00Another word out of you, Chance, and there's no allowance for you for a mom.
05:04Every kid grows up with either watch or low or watch his money.
05:08You're not willing to give me either. I don't want you to be my daddy.
05:14Pants, hold on. Wait for me.
05:16Are you kidding?
05:20Go get them.
05:22Never mind, Chance.
05:25Just bring charity.
05:26Get me! Get me! I can help me!
05:30Come on, Dad!
05:32Come on, Dad! Come on!
05:34Hey, what's going on?
05:35I'm here!
05:37Hey, what is going on?
05:38Hey, what is going on?
05:38Me?
05:56What is wrong with you? I mean, you're trying to kidnap kids in the middle of broad daylight? That's insane.
06:02Mommy!
06:03Mommy!
06:04Oh!
06:05Daddy!
06:06We finally found her!
06:07We finally found Mommy!
06:09Daddy!
06:10So, um, I'm really sorry about that.
06:25I didn't realize you were your dad.
06:27I didn't know.
06:28I'm sorry.
06:29Don't worry.
06:30It's a classic rom-com.
06:31It's cute.
06:32Don't worry, Mommy.
06:33I can buy you a drink myself.
06:35Cool.
06:36Wow.
06:37Thank you so much, bud.
06:38Um, just one thing.
06:40Why do y'all keep calling me Mommy?
06:42Cause I see Mommy in my dreams all the time.
06:45You look just like her.
06:46Me too.
06:47I got the same dreams too.
06:49It's cause we're twins.
06:51Twins?
06:52Mine were fraternal twins too.
06:54Where are my babies?
06:56I'm sorry, ma'am.
06:58They both had fatal congenital birth defects.
07:00They didn't make it.
07:04Anyway, Mommy.
07:06What are you looking for in a future husband?
07:09Chance to knock it off.
07:10Hey now.
07:11Adoption button when kids are talking.
07:14How about this guy over here?
07:16Whoa.
07:17Oh my God.
07:18Six feet tall.
07:20Handsome.
07:21Great career.
07:23Two amazing kids.
07:25But never spends time around any woman.
07:29Yeah.
07:30Isn't that just your dad's kind of picture?
07:32I'm actually six foot two.
07:33Chance.
07:34Stop it right now or you're grounded.
07:36Okay.
07:37Stop.
07:38Don't ground him.
07:39They're having fun.
07:40Clearly.
07:41It's not a big deal.
07:42It's okay, Mommy.
07:43Daddy actually never grounds us.
07:45He just pretends to be scary.
07:47Oh yeah, Charity.
07:48What do you know about disciplining kids?
07:50Do you have any kids?
07:52That's what I thought.
07:54Okay.
07:55Chance, Charity.
07:56Let's go.
07:57Wait.
07:58What if we got married?
07:59Then if, if we were married, I would be okay disciplining them because they'd be mine.
08:08There you are, you skank.
08:10I've been looking all over for you.
08:12I maxed out my cards buying you clothes and shoes and you, you blocked my number?
08:20Excuse me for just a second.
08:21I'll be, um, here.
08:24I knew it.
08:25She's just after my money.
08:27All right.
08:28We'll go back and wait.
08:32Hmm.
08:33Cassandra, I finally found you.
08:36You're acting like you haven't seen me in three years.
08:39It's been, what, like, three days?
08:43Besides, you are a married man.
08:47Act like it.
08:49Wait a minute.
08:50You know I was married?
08:51Mm-hmm.
08:52And you still spent my money?
08:54Yes.
08:55Revenge.
08:56Oh, also, I did send everything I got directly to your wife.
09:00So, um, I hope she loves designer.
09:11Whew!
09:12Okay, so, um, anyway, y'all got married.
09:17Think about it.
09:18Chance, Charity, why don't the two of you go get some ice cream?
09:24Yes!
09:28Sure.
09:29I'll marry you.
09:30Yeah?
09:31But just to be clear, I don't have a dime to find it.
09:33Are you sure about that?
09:34Are you sure about that?
09:36Because your suits you're wearing looks, like, really nice, actually.
09:40I'm the driver for a CEO.
09:42I only make, like, eight, nine grand a month.
09:45Eight or nine?
09:46That's not too bad.
09:48That's significantly more than I make, so.
09:50Uh, I mean, more, like, eight or nine grand, uh, quarterly.
09:54Oh.
09:55And it fluctuates a lot.
09:56I only make, like, two, three thousand a month.
09:59I mean, that's, that's not bad.
10:01That's fine.
10:02Where are you living right now?
10:03New Parklands.
10:04In a, a one bedroom, one bed, one bathroom apartment.
10:08Yeah, it's just fairly big enough, actually, for me and the twins.
10:11Sorry, did you just say New Parklands?
10:14Come on!
10:15No, that's literally the heart of the city.
10:17Those places go for what?
10:18A couple thousand per square foot?
10:21The smallest ones are, like, 2,000 square feet.
10:24Even if you were the CEO yourself, you probably still couldn't afford to live there.
10:27Come on.
10:28Yeah, no, you're right. New Parklands is crazy.
10:31That's crazy!
10:32Yeah, it is. I know, I'm sorry.
10:34I, I just do this thing when I get nervous, I just start lying.
10:38I do that.
10:39No, I do that too, seriously.
10:40I, I, I work in sales.
10:42I literally lie to customers for a living.
10:45Uh, no, actually, though, I'm, I'm kidding.
10:47Um, it's really, it's about...
10:50About what?
10:52It's all about hard work and not giving up.
10:54So, keep working hard.
10:56Maybe you'll get to live there one day.
10:59I...
11:00Anyway, I am Cassandra.
11:01Officially introducing myself.
11:04I sell shoes for a living.
11:06I make about 3,000 a month, but I make commission.
11:10So, you know, I could help out with the kids' expenses.
11:12Stuff like that.
11:13Uh-huh.
11:14Whoa.
11:15Okay, actually...
11:17Don't say anything.
11:18A good saleswoman always gives their customer ample time to think things over.
11:22So...
11:23No rush.
11:24Think about my answer, okay?
11:30Why won't you marry her?
11:31I'm not gonna drink my milk anymore if you don't marry her.
11:35Sure.
11:36Have it your way.
11:38Ms. Margaret.
11:45There.
11:46Happy?
11:47And what is it with you two and this fascination with this woman anyway?
11:50I don't even know her.
11:51Don't you remember what happened to you when you were little?
11:53Your old nanny that I had to fire gave you sleeping pills and tried to kidnap you.
11:57Daddy had to pay a fortune just to get you back.
11:59Do you really want that to happen again?
12:01I don't want that to happen again.
12:05No, no, no, no, no, no.
12:06Charity, Charity.
12:07I'm so sorry.
12:08Did Daddy scare you?
12:09No, I'm hungry.
12:10I really wish you could eat milk and cereal right now.
12:15Well, it's sitting there right in front of you.
12:18Why don't you just have some right now, okay?
12:20No!
12:21Chance, you said we can't eat anymore if you're not marrying her.
12:26Chance, I told you to stop dragging your sister into this.
12:29Which one will you choose?
12:31Your pride or my sister who's starving to death?
12:36Ugh, you kids!
12:38Alright, alright, alright, I'll marry her.
12:41Okay?
12:42Happy?
12:44There's just one condition that we have to follow.
12:47We cannot let her know that we're rich, okay?
12:50I have to make sure that she's going to treat you guys good first.
12:53Deal?
12:55Well, then that's a deal.
12:59You little rascals.
13:03Chance, do we have to pretend to be poor right now?
13:09I still got left a few million dollars left for my birthday presents.
13:15And I still want to buy her a huge diamond tiara.
13:19No, no, silly.
13:21That's not enough to get mommy anything.
13:25First, let's get focused on getting mommy and daddy married.
13:29And then she'll get all of daddy's money and that will be a lot more than we have.
13:41Hello? Who's this?
13:43This is, uh, uh, uh, uh, William Stein.
13:47Okay, and who would that be?
13:49Your husband.
13:51You might want to save this number.
13:53Oh, come on.
14:01Dude, seriously?
14:03I mean, you are the richest bachelor in Winchester.
14:05I mean, you can marry anybody.
14:07And you're letting your kids choose.
14:09Crazy how one night at a bar seven years ago can completely change your life around.
14:14I should have never dragged you out for drinks, man.
14:17I mean, you wouldn't have gotten drugged and knocked up a stranger.
14:23A little over two grand a month with two kids?
14:26Girl, that does not sound too stable to me.
14:29How do you know that he's not using you?
14:31He's pretty cute.
14:32And the kids.
14:33Abby.
14:34They're a boy and a girl.
14:36Fraternal twins.
14:38They remind me of my babies.
14:41Cass, you can't say that out loud ever, okay?
14:46He's just gonna think you're trying to replace the kids you lost.
14:49He won't trust you.
14:50Yeah.
14:51Anyway, where's the ring?
14:53Any honeymoon plans?
14:54Come on, we can't afford any of that.
14:56Girl, no.
14:57Stand up for yourself, okay?
14:59Tell him you want to go shopping right now.
15:01Shopping?
15:02Text him.
15:04If he's not spending his money on you, he's just gonna be spending it on someone else.
15:08You know what?
15:09There is a little something that I want.
15:19Gold, David.
15:20I knew it.
15:21She's showing her true colors now.
15:25I do think this is really pretty.
15:27It's affordable, too.
15:28Okay.
15:30Yeah, I'll take both.
15:32So, you're picking something out for the kids.
15:37Yes.
15:38I wanted a gift for them.
15:40You know, it's my first time being a mom in all.
15:42I wanted to go with a bang.
15:46That'll be $1,200, please.
15:49$1,200?
15:52For...
15:53Did I get a discount?
15:54I did get two.
15:55But I want to get one.
15:56Uh, no.
15:57We don't do that around here.
16:01Come on.
16:02Work with me here.
16:03I actually work here, too.
16:04Right around the corner.
16:05Lita's Luxury Shoes.
16:06Ever heard of it?
16:07So, you...
16:08You throw me a bone here.
16:09I'll hook you up next time you come into the stock.
16:11Yeah.
16:12I'll throw in a free pair of heel projectors.
16:13What about that?
16:15It's only $1,200.
16:16I mean, if you can't afford it, you don't need to waste my time.
16:20Are you taking them or not?
16:25Yeah.
16:26Yeah.
16:27I'm taking them.
16:28I'll take them.
16:34They do do discounts right now.
16:36Uh, yeah, birthdays, holidays, stuff like that.
16:38Although it's not my birthday, so that's a long shot.
16:41But...
16:42Mommy!
16:43We have got to pay for a new teacher that, like, a gift for you.
16:51What about this one over here?
16:52It looks nice, doesn't it?
16:55Of course it's nice.
16:56It's $150,000.
17:00$150,000 for that.
17:04My mom would like to try it on.
17:07Oh.
17:08If you can't afford to buy it, you can't afford to try it on.
17:13I can be held responsible if you damage such a precious piece.
17:17Yeah.
17:19Daddy, can you keep playing for Mommy?
17:23Okay, sweetheart.
17:24I'll buy it.
17:26Wait a second.
17:27Wait a second.
17:31I'm so sorry, Charity.
17:32I seem to have left my wallet at home.
17:34Sir?
17:35If you'd like some other options, there's a goodwill right around the corner.
17:40That might be more of your seeing.
17:42You're doubting my father because you think he can't afford it.
17:48What's going on here?
17:49Mr. Richard.
17:50Sir?
17:51Hello, Mr. Richards.
17:53My wife here was looking at the rings over there in this locker right here, but I seem
17:58to have forgot my wallet at home.
18:00You guys do discounts for birthdays, right?
18:03It just so happens to be my birthday today.
18:05I was hoping you get that discount.
18:19Okay, you know what, Will?
18:20Let's just call it.
18:21If this was half off, we couldn't afford it, let alone some birthday discount.
18:24Gillian.
18:25What?
18:26What was that?
18:27What?
18:29The necklace, everything is free.
18:30Don't worry about it.
18:31You don't have to pay.
18:32No.
18:33We'll even throw in the rings for the kiddos.
18:37Oh, you enjoy your birthday, right?
18:40Free?
18:41Yes.
18:43Thank you so much.
18:44Thank you, Charity.
18:45You have yourself a fantastic birthday.
18:46Oh, thank you.
18:48Yes.
18:50Hope to see you soon.
18:52Sir, what the hell?
18:55How could you give away all of that for free, Richard?
18:58Are you the stupidest person in this entire fall?
19:03That was Killian Steinwell, the wealthiest man in all of Winchester.
19:08You know, when the recession happened, he kept this entire company alive and your salary.
19:13I can keep up the whole debt store.
19:15Everything for him.
19:17She'll be right with you, sir.
19:19Oh, my God.
19:20We got all of that for free.
19:21He just gave us up.
19:22That is quite the birthday discount.
19:23If I've ever seen one, I'm going to come back every year.
19:24It's settled.
19:25Wait, wait.
19:26Yes.
19:27Oh, Charity has the birthmark, too.
19:28Congrats, Mama.
19:29Both have the heart shaped birthmark.
19:45From their mom.
19:46What do you think?
19:47I popped them out?
19:49Right.
19:50Where is their mom now?
19:54Ah...
19:55Ah, she moved to Europe after the divorce. We became a fashion designer.
20:02Stop it, Cassandra. Of course they have a mom. Your bio kids died seven years ago.
20:12Hey, Miss Mortensen, you booked an appointment with us today to look at a three-bedroom apartment?
20:17Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, we'll be right over.
20:21Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
20:23Our new apartment? Like the four of us, living together?
20:28The expenses, trust me, is much cheaper to rent as a company.
20:32But I am going to try to talk the realtor down a little bit price-wise, and I'm going to need all three of your helps, all right?
20:39Listen up.
20:41She moved to Europe after the divorce.
20:43No kids died seven years ago.
20:48Hi. All right. Who wants to go see our new apartment?
20:51What? You?
20:54Our new. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
20:57Our new apartment?
20:58Yeah.
20:59Come on, it's kind of being married if we're not sharing.
21:01I'm going to talk the realtor down a little bit price-wise, and I'm going to need all three of your helps, all right?
21:06Listen up. Anytime she asks you any question, this is what I'm going to need.
21:10I'm going to need all of you to be like, hmm, I don't know.
21:13I'm going to think about that. I'm not sure.
21:14Stuff like that to talk her down. Got it? Thumbs up? Got it? All right?
21:20Yeah.
21:20Let's go.
21:26What'd you think about the apartment?
21:28Uh, yeah, I mean, it's okay.
21:29It's just the master bedroom's a little small for us.
21:34All right, you said it was $4,000 a month, right?
21:38That's just, I don't know, it's a bit out of our budget, right?
21:41Well?
21:42Oh, right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's, what, 800 square feet?
21:52I mean, how the hell is anyone supposed to live in a place like that?
21:54Yeah, the living room's smaller than the guest bedroom at home.
21:58And the kitchen doesn't even have a private shelf.
22:03It's a three-bedroom for $4,000 right in Winchester City.
22:07If you're going to act like that, then I'm sorry, but I can't help you.
22:13Nobody can.
22:15Have a great day.
22:16No, I...
22:17I told you guys to be really picky, not insane.
22:25Great, great, that's awesome.
22:26We just, we don't have a place to live, but that's okay.
22:28We can, we can hedge a tent, right?
22:33Don't worry, it's all money.
22:35We have tins of houses all over the world.
22:38Like in France, and...
22:40Okay, buddy.
22:42I told you those are Monopoly houses, not real houses, right?
22:46We can't actually live there, this is real life.
22:51Hey, I was looking at some properties too, actually, you want to go check them out?
22:56Yeah.
22:56Well, yeah, yeah, let's go.
23:02You did it.
23:04Come on, kids, let's go.
23:05Whoa.
23:10Wow, okay, so...
23:13This is a four-bedroom for only $3,000 a month?
23:17Uh, it's $2,000, actually.
23:20Was someone murdered here?
23:22Why is it so cheap?
23:27Why is it only $2,000 a month?
23:30Uh, it's my ex-boss's place, he's renting it out to us.
23:35He's very picky about who he rents it out to.
23:37Let's see, they have to be married, no single renters, no one over the age of 34.
23:45They have to have kids, twins specifically, a boy and a girl.
23:49So, yeah, yeah, that's it.
23:52Um, and we check all those boxes, so that's why he's giving us such a good deal on it.
23:55Yeah.
23:56Wow.
23:59Wow.
23:59And we get all of this?
24:09Uh-huh, yeah, yeah.
24:11All, all ours.
24:13We get a move in here today, if we want.
24:15I mean, new homes, new beginnings, I guess.
24:21I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to make you guys something super special for dinner.
24:27Oh, come on, Dad, let's help Mommy.
24:30Where's Charity at?
24:31Oh, come on, Dad.
25:01Thank you, Mommy.
25:05It tastes so good and looks so good.
25:08Wow.
25:10These do look good.
25:12That's it.
25:14That's it.
25:15Those are for the kids, okay?
25:18Just, whatever they don't finish, I'm going to whip up and turn to a pasta.
25:24All right, trust me, it's going to be good.
25:25You sure?
25:26Yes, I'm sure.
25:27Or, see, I told you they wouldn't do it at all.
25:33Cass, I didn't know you could cook so good.
25:35I can do more than just cook.
25:38Sewing, home repairs, change a tire.
25:41I can do it all.
25:44Where'd you learn to do all that?
25:46What, did you have a job or something?
25:47Not exactly, no.
25:50Okay, if you want to learn any life skills, all you have to do is,
25:54A, have your mom die when you're really young.
25:56B, have your dad remarry.
25:58And C, have that person he remarries be an evil, evil stepmother.
26:02Just do all of that, and I guarantee you will have life skills faster than you think.
26:08Mommy, that's what happened with Cinderella, right?
26:11Does that mean you're Cinderella?
26:14And that's the same thing that happened with Prince Charming.
26:18Does that mean you're Prince Charming?
26:20Honestly, yeah, when you put it like that, that kind of is us, huh?
26:26I mean, no, seriously, everything with the shoes and your driver, that's cute.
26:30There's more than enough to let the light...
26:33All right, Prince Charming, I'm going to go get the dishes.
26:36Ah, you sit down, princess.
26:40I'll be doing the dishes around here.
26:41Let it go, let it be.
26:47Hi, I, I, marriage certificate right here, so I am married.
26:52Ooh.
26:52Can I have my commission?
26:54You're married?
26:55Yeah.
26:55Ah, that's even better.
27:00My secret, my, I don't lie, my relationship is spicy.
27:07Say yes to me, and you get your commission.
27:10Get some.
27:12Behave yourself, Mr. Charming.
27:13I'm recording the whole thing right here.
27:15If my husband sees that, he's not going to be happy.
27:18Oh, yeah?
27:20I heard that he's son's driver.
27:22And he has two kids.
27:23Those puttos mocosos.
27:27When you became a real...
27:30Queen.
27:32To be romantic.
27:37We were meant to be?
27:39What are you, some kind of wacko fucking fortune teller?
27:43So what?
27:44You are poor tax driver.
27:46I don't need to read you star sign.
27:49To know that you are dying in poverty.
27:52Huh.
27:53Funny, I'm a bit of a fortune teller myself.
27:56And right now, my fortune.
27:58Saying your future looks pretty grim.
28:01Because in about five minutes, I'm going to beat this shit out of you.
28:04And you're going to lose your job.
28:10You are lying.
28:13I need to make a phone call.
28:15I'll order if you need a thing, right?
28:23You never get to commission now.
28:26You are fired.
28:27I'm suing you for my medical bills.
28:29Just your way, Cassandra.
28:31I'll ruin you.
28:32Hey, boss.
28:37What's up?
28:40What?
28:41I am fired?
28:44Wait, wait.
28:44No, no, no.
28:45Are you actually a fortune teller?
28:50Because now it's insane.
28:51No, I dabbled in it here and there.
28:53Oh?
28:54Make hands me.
28:55Wow.
28:56That's crazy.
28:56Well, could you tell me when that 80K is going to hit my account?
29:01Because I could use that right now.
29:04Let me show you a magic trick.
29:07I'd say you'd see it right about now.
29:14Check your bank account.
29:17Okay, I'll check my bank account.
29:21Oh, my God.
29:22It's all there.
29:23The 80K.
29:23It's in my bank account.
29:24It's right.
29:24It is right.
29:26What?
29:27I can't believe you're so excited over a mere 80K.
29:30Um, did you just say a mere 80K?
29:34That is so much money.
29:35Do you have any idea how much money that is?
29:38I'll have struck cold will.
29:42Yeah.
29:45I was working under one of my family businesses.
29:48I'll get her job all sorted out.
29:50Thanks, bro.
29:51You know how you treat her awfully well for one of those contract marriages?
29:56Oh, don't tell me you caught feelings for her.
30:01Oh, you still got that scar, huh?
30:03Yeah.
30:04Tell you what.
30:05Drop by the hospital at some point and I'll get dermatology to fix it up right for you.
30:10Sure.
30:11Thanks.
30:12Oh.
30:12No way.
30:16You moved in with him?
30:17Okay.
30:18How's married life, girl?
30:19Stop.
30:20Stop.
30:20It's not like that, okay?
30:21It's a contract marriage.
30:22We don't even sleep in the same bedroom.
30:23Oh my God.
30:24Jeez.
30:24Cass, come on.
30:26Don't tell me you're too shy to make a move.
30:28You really have to get back out there.
30:30I mean, you literally haven't been with anyone else since that one guy from like seven years ago.
30:35Come on.
30:37Do you really not remember anything at all?
30:40Nothing?
30:41Please.
30:43With how drunk I was at night, I can't even remember his face.
30:46Damn.
30:46Okay, I mean, there's one thing about him I remember, but it's small.
30:50It's minor.
30:51Oh my God, tell me.
30:52What is it?
30:53He had like, um, like a scar right at the bottom of his abs.
30:59Oh.
31:01That's what I'm talking about.
31:03Oh.
31:06Oh.
31:08Hey, uh, are the kids worried?
31:13Are the kids asleep?
31:14Sorry.
31:14The kids, yeah, I just read them a bedtime story, and yeah, they're asleep.
31:20Cool.
31:21Um, you know, I'm just going to go to bed.
31:24I'm going to go to the guest room.
31:26Okay.
31:26Great.
31:27Sleep tight.
31:30Okay.
31:32Both go to the right.
31:33Yeah?
31:35All right.
31:35One, two, three.
31:36Okay.
31:37Wait.
31:38He's such a straight-laced man.
31:40He doesn't even know how to flirt.
31:42And that's his wife.
31:44Seems like he needs our help.
31:48Again.
31:53I'm going to go this way.
31:54Yeah.
31:54Mommy!
31:56Hi.
31:56Mommy, can we sleep with you tonight?
31:59Yes, please, Mom.
32:01Chance, Charity, what are you doing?
32:02I just read your bedtime story.
32:03You need to be asleep.
32:05Well, you know what?
32:06Why don't I just take the big bed with them, and you can go to the guest room tonight?
32:11All right.
32:11That sounds good.
32:13Thanks.
32:14All right.
32:14No.
32:15Daddy, you two.
32:17I can't do that.
32:18I have to be up early tomorrow.
32:20Guys, go to bed with Mom, okay?
32:21Daddy, just this once.
32:22Daddy, please.
32:23Daddy.
32:24Please.
32:24I'll be once they fall asleep.
32:35It won't be long.
32:36If Daddy gets cold, he'll snuggle up with Mommy, just like a real couple.
32:56Yeah.
32:56Yeah.
32:56Yeah.
32:56Yeah.
32:57Yeah.
32:58Yeah.
32:59Yeah.
33:00Yeah.
33:01Yeah.
33:02Yeah.
33:03Yeah.
33:04Yeah.
33:05Yeah.
33:06Holy shit.
33:24Those pecs.
33:27And those abs.
33:30Oh, I cannot be having those thoughts about him.
33:34Wait.
33:34How come he has a scar there, too?
33:43What are you doing?
33:45Cassandra, what are you doing here?
33:47This wasn't a part of the deal.
33:49We were supposed to put the kids to sleep, not be sleeping here.
33:52Together.
33:53What am I doing?
33:54I think you're under my blanket right now, mister.
34:00Oh.
34:01Chance!
34:02Oh.
34:02Get in here right now.
34:03Stop yelling at them.
34:05They were probably cold.
34:07Besides, you're my husband now.
34:12It means I can do whatever I want with you, including sleeping in the same bed.
34:17Why are you trying to take advantage of me right now?
34:21I think I'm going to kiss.
34:24All right, you two.
34:26Let's get some breakfast in those bellies.
34:31Let's go.
34:33This mattress is so uncomfortable.
34:36I can't sleep on this.
34:37Horace.
34:42Horace.
34:44Yeah, you remember that $90,000 mattress?
34:47Send one to my new place.
34:49Thanks.
34:50Um, what is all this?
35:04Um, this is an old mattress that I found downstairs.
35:08I figured I'd try to solid it because we're trying to save money where we can, right?
35:12Yeah.
35:13Yeah, cool.
35:14Lucky find.
35:15Awesome.
35:17Oh, is this a Constantine?
35:20These watches are like 200 grand.
35:24Why do you have a watch that's expensive?
35:27And why do you have a watch that expensive?
35:29Uh, sorry about that.
35:31This is actually fake.
35:33I still wear it because I'm a chauffeur and I have to look the part, but this is only like 50 bucks.
35:38This is only 50 bucks?
35:42Oh, man, it looks really real.
35:44Oh, you have to get me one.
35:49Yes.
35:50Yes, yeah, I have this friend.
35:51Her birthday's coming up and she's obsessed with watches.
35:53Usually the fakes are like crazy expensive, though.
35:55Please, please.
35:56Uh, Cass, I don't think that's a good idea.
35:59I mean, this is a fake watch.
36:00You don't want to give your friend a fake watch.
36:02But I'm not going to get her one.
36:03I'm going to get her five.
36:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:05I'll send you the money.
36:06Okay, don't even worry about that.
36:07Just take care of getting the watches.
36:09It doesn't even have to be a costume.
36:10Anything that they have, Rolex, um, whatever.
36:13She loves them all.
36:14If they look as good as this does, she's going to love it.
36:19All right, so you guys go ahead and take this with my ice cream.
36:32Hey, I got one.
36:34I'll meet you guys there, okay?
36:42Welcome to Ligo's Luckery Shoes.
36:44Can I help?
36:46Cassandra?
36:48What are you doing here?
36:49Can't believe you're working customer service.
36:52How the mighty's fallen.
36:53You should have told us.
36:55That way we could have laughed in your face sooner.
36:57I bet you're regretting going no contact with us when you did.
37:01You know what?
37:01Yeah, I do regret that.
37:03I wish I had left that hellhole sooner.
37:06That's what I wish.
37:10Dad just bought me a new villa last week.
37:13Jealous?
37:14Excuse me, ma'am.
37:18Are you going to purchase anything?
37:19Because the door is right over there.
37:21If not, feel free to use it.
37:23Of course I'm going to buy something.
37:26And I want you to serve me.
37:32Personally.
37:36Quick, charity, poor daddy.
37:38Tell him mommy's getting bullied.
37:40Come on!
37:40Okay, these are from our curated collection.
37:45And I think you'll really like them.
37:48Get them.
37:48I want you to put them on my feet.
37:54Sure thing, ma'am.
37:56Mm-hmm.
37:58Aw, look at you.
38:01We came from the same family.
38:03Went to the same fashion school.
38:04And now look at us.
38:06I'm a hot couture designer.
38:08And you're putting on my shoes for me.
38:11Like a little maid.
38:13Ow!
38:14Vanessa!
38:15Ow!
38:18Ow!
38:19Vanessa!
38:20Ow!
38:21Get me something else.
38:22I don't like them.
38:27Right away.
38:29Ma'am.
38:37These might be more to your taste.
38:39These are handcrafted in Italy.
38:41Typically reserved for VIP clients.
38:44This pink pair in particular
38:46is a one-of-a-kind unique design.
38:48Mm-hmm.
38:49So.
38:49That's more like it.
39:01Yeah, you like them?
39:02We do also have those in purple.
39:04They are also part of our premium collection
39:05with a price tag to match.
39:07$8,000.
39:09Of course, that shouldn't be a problem for you.
39:11Right?
39:12You are a hot couture designer.
39:14Of course I have the money.
39:17I'll just pick whichever pair I like more.
39:19Just give me one second, okay?
39:25Right.
39:27What are you doing?
39:28I'm just, I'm helping.
39:31There.
39:31Okay, I just sent a poll to our entire high school.
39:33Ready?
39:34Ran into Vanessa Mortensen at Lido's luxury shoes.
39:36Help her decide between these two pairs
39:38of ultra-high-end heels.
39:39She can't afford them both.
39:41Oh my god, the results are already coming in.
39:42People are already voting.
39:43That's crazy!
39:44They love them.
39:47Vanessa.
39:47Oh, you really should get both.
39:49Unless you really can't afford them.
39:55Money's not a problem.
39:56Awesome!
39:57Pack them up.
39:59Great, so...
40:01That'll be $8,000 for the purple pair
40:02and $10,000 for those pink ones right there.
40:04Awesome.
40:05How would you like to pay a cash or card?
40:06Great, that was more than a month's worth
40:13of commission for me.
40:14Thank you so much.
40:16I really do hope to see you again here soon.
40:20Get out of my way.
40:24Hey, are you okay?
40:25Are you okay?
40:26I'm fine.
40:27I'm fine.
40:28You're fine?
40:33Don't let go of me, you psycho!
40:34You can threaten me.
40:37Harass me.
40:38Even assault me.
40:39But you touch these kids again
40:41and I will kill you, bitch!
40:44What are you gonna do about it?
40:46I'm the customer.
40:47I can do whatever I want.
40:49You better back off
40:50or I'll get you fired.
40:52You better back off
40:54or I'll get you fired.
40:55Yeah, go ahead.
40:56I already got my commission
40:57and my bonus payout anyway.
40:59What is that supposed to mean?
41:01That's mean.
41:03Oh!
41:03I don't have to hold you back.
41:14Just you wait, Cassandra Mortensen.
41:21Hi, baby.
41:22Hi.
41:22Hey, are you okay?
41:23You're okay.
41:24I'm totally fine.
41:25Okay.
41:27What are you doing here?
41:28Charity told me
41:29that there was a damsel
41:30in distress in here,
41:31but
41:31looks like
41:36Miss Damsel
41:36has it under control.
41:38I'm sorry.
41:40I let Chance get hurt today.
41:42How you doing, buddy?
41:44I'm fine, Daddy.
41:45It doesn't hurt anymore.
41:47See?
41:48He's all right.
41:50One more thing.
41:51I, uh...
41:52I kind of quit my job.
41:55Just now.
41:56Well, why'd you do that?
41:58You're the kind of person
41:59who got married
41:59just to get a bonus.
42:00Why'd you quit so fast?
42:03She went after the kids.
42:04Well, that's where
42:05I draw the line.
42:09I got bullied a lot
42:10when I was their age.
42:12I don't want that from them.
42:14Well, I mean,
42:14there's plenty of other jobs
42:15out there, right?
42:15Hey.
42:17Hey.
42:19I'll pick up some more hours
42:20and need to.
42:23Here.
42:24You can use this for now.
42:31I'm the guy.
42:31Let me take care of things
42:32for a bit.
42:34Oh, wow.
42:35So mysterious.
42:36So cool.
42:37I feel like a CEO
42:38over there.
42:39I know, right?
42:42I might just treat myself
42:43to a fancy dinner
42:44tonight.
42:45Hey.
42:46I'm kidding.
42:46Don't get carried away.
42:47I'm kidding.
42:48Don't.
42:49That was really sweet.
42:53So much for three years
42:54of work.
42:56I guess I never really
42:57came to my grocery store.
42:58What's this?
43:01Nothing.
43:01No, it's just something
43:02I scribbled
43:03when I was born to work.
43:05Cassandra,
43:06these are professional.
43:07You have a real talent
43:08for this.
43:09Why don't you work
43:10at a fashion studio?
43:12I did go to fashion school,
43:13but you know.
43:14Best in the country,
43:16actually.
43:18But,
43:19uh,
43:20senior year,
43:21somebody stole my designs
43:22and
43:23I got kicked out
43:24for plagiarism.
43:27Blacklisted from all
43:27the major crash houses.
43:30What?
43:31It was like seven years ago.
43:32I'm over it.
43:32I promise.
43:33It's done.
43:34Aw, damn.
43:35I mean,
43:35every time you talk
43:36about your life,
43:37it just gets worse
43:37and worse,
43:38you know?
43:39Okay,
43:39and what are you
43:39getting so worked up about?
43:41It's my life.
43:42I'm fine with it.
43:44Besides,
43:45I might not have ever
43:46met you
43:46or the kids
43:48if I was still
43:49in school,
43:49you know?
43:50You know,
43:51there's got to be
43:51some company out there
43:52that doesn't care
43:53about your education.
43:56How about
43:56YS House?
43:58YS House?
44:00Yeah.
44:00Why don't you
44:01trade your luck
44:02there at least?
44:03Hey,
44:05what's the worst
44:05that could happen?
44:14Boris,
44:15call the director
44:16down at YS House
44:17and set an appointment
44:18up for a Miss
44:19Cassandra Mortensen.
44:21Oh, sir.
44:22I didn't know
44:22they were hired.
44:24They're hiring now.
44:29Oh, my God.
44:32Will?
44:34Will!
44:34Will, I got the job
44:35at YS House.
44:36I got it!
44:37Yes!
44:38Yes!
44:38Yes!
44:39Yes!
44:40Yes!
44:40Yes!
44:40Yes!
44:43You go to my
44:44lucky job,
44:45you know?
44:45You should be
44:46thinking they're
44:46dead,
44:47not them.
44:48I think
44:49somebody is
44:50jealous.
44:52Me?
44:52Oh, you're
44:53talking about me.
44:54Yeah, jealous!
44:55Jealous!
44:56Jealous!
44:57Jealous!
44:57Jealous!
44:58Jealous!
44:58Oh, my God.
45:06You're welcome.
45:11Are you sure
45:12your boss is cool
45:13with you taking
45:13his car like that?
45:15Hey, boss.
45:16Sorry for running late.
45:17Traffic.
45:19Boss?
45:21Sorry,
45:21I thought you said
45:22you were a driver.
45:23Ha, ha, ha, ha.
45:24Good one, boss.
45:25This is Horace,
45:27the CEO's assistant.
45:29Ha, ha, ha.
45:30That's right.
45:31I am the CEO's assistant.
45:33Yes, and I'm the driver.
45:34And you are the driver.
45:35Yeah.
45:35Of course.
45:36Well, I guess I'll let you
45:37drive, Ben.
45:38Yeah, let me drive us
45:40to work.
45:41You can sit in the back seat.
45:42I'll sit in the back.
45:43You drive.
45:45William.
45:45Yes.
45:46That's my name.
45:47Yeah.
45:49You're gonna have
45:50such a good first day.
45:50What are we doing?
45:53Play along.
45:54Just play along.
45:59Hey, wait, wait, wait.
46:00You didn't, like,
46:02pull any strings
46:03to get me into YS house.
46:05Pull strings?
46:06Yeah.
46:06Come on, Cass.
46:07The only thing I know
46:08how to pull is, uh,
46:09is a clutch.
46:12No, you got the job
46:13because you're good enough.
46:15All right.
46:16Let's go.
46:20Space is the conference room.
46:25And here is the common space
46:26where everybody is.
46:28Hi, everyone.
46:29My name is Cassandra Mortensen.
46:30I'm starting today.
46:32Cassandra Mortensen.
46:35Wow.
46:36Didn't expect you
46:37to show up here.
46:40Vanessa?
46:42What are you doing here?
46:43That's what I should
46:44be asking you, bitch.
46:45Of course, I'd end up
46:46working with my college
46:47dropout cheating sister.
46:49That's right.
46:50Her sister playwright
46:51has just seen her project
46:52and got kicked out.
46:53Don't worry,
46:54she works for that
46:54shitty boutique
46:55at the mall.
46:56If any of you
46:57have a problem
46:58with me being here,
46:58take it up with
46:59the hiring manager
47:00because I am not leaving.
47:02Get out of the room, ladies.
47:03Mr. Leroll is coming in soon.
47:06Cassandra,
47:06I want you sitting in
47:07to learn how we run
47:09things around here, okay?
47:11Mr. Leroll is our
47:13newest client.
47:14He's worked with all
47:14the top fashion houses
47:15in France.
47:16So just stay out of the way
47:17and don't mess this up
47:18for everyone.
47:19Hmm?
47:20To be honest,
47:28I'm a bit disappointed
47:29with your designs today.
47:31I expect it better.
47:33Sir, my designs are based
47:35off Monet's water lilies.
47:36The colors...
47:37Yes, yes, yes, Monet.
47:39It's always flowers
47:41and pictures with you people.
47:42Don't you know anything else
47:44about France?
47:44I have something else, sir.
47:48Shut it, idiot.
47:49I'd like to see it.
47:52But I'm warning you.
47:54Don't disappoint me.
47:55Um, this piece I call
47:58Out of the Cannon.
48:00Out of the Cannon?
48:02Hmm.
48:03Oh, my apologies, sir.
48:05My sister, she's new.
48:07She technically shouldn't
48:08even be here because she
48:08was kicked out of fashion
48:09school for plagiarism.
48:12Oh, really?
48:13No, no, I never plagiarized.
48:17Although, this is actually
48:19inspired by other people's work.
48:20This is inspired by other
48:26people's work.
48:29The Parisian street artists.
48:32Sometimes the best art
48:33isn't found in a museum.
48:35It's all around you,
48:36especially in a city as unique
48:38and vibrant as Paris.
48:40I feel like it's important
48:41for people to stop and
48:42take a look at what's
48:43going on around them.
48:44Out of the Cannon?
48:46The spray can?
48:48That is a fantastic idea.
48:50The best one I've heard
48:51all day.
48:52Why wasn't it with the others?
48:54Oh, that's my fault.
48:55I turned it in late.
48:57That's all right.
48:58You obviously know
48:58French culture.
49:00You don't also have
49:01to know wines, don't you?
49:03Oh.
49:04Well, let's just say
49:05I have quite the collection.
49:06And, you know,
49:07a glass of wine here or there
49:08helps when you need
49:09a little inspiration.
49:12At last,
49:13someone who understands me.
49:15Quite the collection,
49:16huh, Cass?
49:17Well, how about this?
49:18How about you have
49:19Mr. LaRolled Over tonight?
49:20We'll all tag along
49:21to see where you get
49:22all your inspiration from.
49:24I'm sure you'd love
49:24to have us over, right?
49:26Oh!
49:27You know, well,
49:28the thing is...
49:29That is a brilliant idea.
49:32I'd love to see
49:32how you work, Sandra.
49:35Oh, so it's settled.
49:37I'll see you at six.
49:40I would love to see
49:42how you pull this one off
49:43in your shitty
49:44one-bedroom shack.
49:51Will, hey.
49:52Mommy!
49:53Daddy's on a work trip.
49:54Did you need anything?
49:55All right.
49:56Chance?
49:57Charity?
49:58Listen up.
49:59Um, here's the deal.
50:00Mommy has got a
50:02really, really big client
50:04who wants to come over
50:05to our house tonight
50:06at 6 p.m.
50:06with a lot of people
50:07in there expecting
50:08fancy wine and dinner.
50:11Guess what?
50:11We don't have any of that.
50:13So, I'm gonna need
50:14your help right now.
50:14I'm gonna need your help
50:15whenever everybody
50:16shows up tonight.
50:16I'm gonna need you
50:17to pretend like nobody's home
50:18and I'm gonna need you
50:19to not open the door
50:20under any circumstances.
50:23Got it?
50:24Okay, thank you.
50:27Does Mommy
50:28need their help again?
50:30Yes, indeed, Charity.
50:32And we're not six anymore.
50:34We're seven.
50:35It's time to get to work.
50:41Hello, this is Margaret.
50:45Our new Mommy
50:45needs your help.
50:53All right, everyone.
50:55Can you please?
50:56We only have one hour to work,
50:58so let's get to work.
50:59Come on, it's mine.
51:06What's up?
51:07Get our painting, Adams.
51:08All the lines are up.
51:10Let's go for $10,000
51:11on the top, Joe.
51:13Sparkling in both day
51:14on the sides
51:15and don't even bother
51:16with anything
51:17under $2,000.
51:17Got that?
51:18Where did you want
51:19this antique?
51:20The golden place
51:21in the kitchen, of course.
51:22Where would you like
51:23this, Matisse?
51:24I'm going to have
51:24a few more holes
51:25next to the Japanese
51:26watercolors.
51:27All that!
51:27Mom's going to be
51:30very surprised.
51:31She's going to love it.
51:39Man, it looks like
51:41nobody's home
51:41and I don't have my keys, so...
51:43Welcome home, Mommy!
51:50Yeah, let's do it.
51:51Cass, what is this?
52:10A home goods?
52:12Please, a fake Matisse?
52:15It's true.
52:16Daddy got it in auction.
52:18Don't lie, rat.
52:21Lying makes you ugly.
52:23Well, where's your wine
52:25collection for Mr. LaRolle?
52:27Wine collection for Mr. LaRolle.
52:29Oh, Mr. LaRolle.
52:31A pleasure to meet you.
52:33Mommy mentioned you
52:34have a great taste in wine.
52:36Feel free to look around
52:38and tell me if there's
52:40something you like.
52:40What is all this?
52:44You just slapped a bunch
52:45of fake labels on these,
52:46didn't you?
52:47I can't even pronounce
52:48half of them.
52:49That's not...
52:50That's right, Mr. LaRolle.
52:53This is
52:54Lara Carton
52:55Charlemagne.
52:55Charlemagne.
52:57And this one is
52:58Chateau Lafitte, 1988.
53:03This one, of course,
53:04is Roney Conti,
53:06vintage,
53:07limited edition,
53:08sold at auction
53:10for $18,000.
53:13You're a dirty little liar,
53:14just like your stepmom.
53:15Hey, watch it, Vanessa.
53:17Oh, and D'Ager,
53:19the ugly witch,
53:20who has no idea
53:21what you're talking about.
53:22Oh, let me change that.
53:23Monster.
53:26Why, you...
53:27I can't believe it.
53:30This is the real deal.
53:34I didn't realize
53:35you had such a collection.
53:36It's incredible.
53:38They still seem a bit fancy
53:39for a casual gathering
53:41like this.
53:42Don't worry, Mr. LaRolle.
53:44Mom picked out
53:45this one special.
53:47We actually have
53:48plenty more in storage.
53:50Uh-huh.
53:52May I?
53:52Of course.
53:53How did the kids
53:54just blow us off?
53:55Did Will put them
53:56up to this?
54:00I'm so excited.
54:08I guess, enjoy.
54:10Excuse me.
54:12Hey.
54:13Where did you guys
54:17get this?
54:18Me and Charity
54:19got it at a raffle.
54:21Raffle.
54:22We...
54:23There was a promotion
54:24at the mall
54:25and they just gave it to us.
54:28Come on, Cassandra.
54:32Yeah, come in.
54:42You're welcome.
54:43Make a video.
54:48See you.