It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 16 Episode 8

Cinema Series US Film

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 16 Episode 8 #CinemaSeriesUSFilm   🎞 Please join  https://t.me/CinemaSeriesUSFilm

Transcript

00:00everything looks good mr. Reynolds your blood work is all normal excellent as

00:12expected right it does look like your blood pressure is a little high however

00:16wait I have high blood pressure well yes but that's consistent with your last

00:20visit we might want to put you on a low dose of blood pressure medication no come

00:26on doc pills are for old men well we all get to a certain age where we do it I

00:31don't so no I mean you know let's not I see we're headed with this let's not go

00:36there okay if I wanted my blood pressure to be low I would simply command my

00:40body to make it low that's really not how chronic high blood pressure okay well

00:44it is how it works with Dennis Reynolds okay and if I'm chronically having high

00:48blood pressure it's because I'm chronically suffering fools who won't

00:50listen to me when I say that I can do things but you know what doc it's I'm

00:55gonna take control this okay don't you worry about a thing because Dennis

00:59Reynolds is gonna figure this all out on his own

01:25there we go blood pressure pulse resting heart rate syncs right to the phone and it records

01:33everything yeah this is perfect now I'll have proof I can smash in that stupid doctor's face

01:38yeah oh hey Dennis uh are we above or below sea level what

01:49don't about the family style cooking yeah so we're doing some family style cooking now and we got this

01:53like industrial grade pressure cooker pretty badass man but you know we got to make sure we're above sea

01:58level just to be safe well we can't be below sea level otherwise we'd be underwater but if it's on the

02:02sea level it may explode that's our big worry this sucker's gonna explode you can't take a pressure cooker

02:07under the sea it's not gonna explode yeah that's not how pressure cookers work you're telling me

02:11that you can't bring a pressure cooker onto a submarine how do they feed the entire U.S. Navy

02:15they don't pressure cook the shit man stop stop all of you okay I'm calling mental health day

02:21mental health day what kind of cuckoo shit is that it's a new thing it's like a sick day but for your

02:27brain and if somebody calls it you have to give it to him you can't ask any questions are you calling

02:32that are you taking that for real yeah yeah yeah I'm calling mental health day okay and I'm gonna

02:37drive out to the beach and spend the entire day just staring at the ocean isn't your car in the

02:42shop oh sorry that's uh not a question about mental health that's a question of logistics damn it no

02:46you're right hey Dennis I'll come drive you I could use a beach day oh shit you know what this could be a

02:51good way to find out whether or not we're uh underwater take the cooker there no no god damn it do you hear

02:56that beeping that means stop no this is my mental health day and none of you are a part of it god damn

03:03it hi hi how can I help you today uh yeah I have a reservation under the name Reynolds okay let me

03:12check that out for you all right wow a lot of typing you're having to do there you writing a novel

03:28oh I'm sorry we have no more vehicles available in that class no no no I made a reservation sometimes

03:34our system double books so that's our mistake and we are happy to offer you a complimentary upgrade

03:39okay this is a summa evs a fully electric car with touchscreen controls automated steering made

03:46right here in America oh these are awesome I've seen these these are really cool okay yeah no I I

03:51accept and I'll take those keys there are no keys uh-huh there's an app right an app well I gotta tell

04:02I I uh I don't love that I uh have a lot of apps on my phone already and uh keys are sort of a system

04:09that have existed for millennia I don't know why we're trying to fix that but uh yeah no no we got

04:14apps we got we got apps for everything right even for things we already had things for I guess uh

04:20since my blood pressure's going up really spiking here I'm just gonna I'm gonna go with it we're gonna

04:24download the app right what's one more app the phone is the key now simple nice smooth ride quiet try

04:36this automated steering thing hey hey that is awesome time to kick this mental health day off with some

04:52feel-good plant tonic my good friend mr. Kratom ah this does gnarly as hell though I need some

05:00some kind of a mixer summa direct me to the nearest tea shop rerouting to teaspoon holy shit

05:10summa play Roxette now playing Roxette listen to your heart

05:19that is so cool let's just sit here and enjoy the ride I guess this car is nailing it

05:30hi uh one herbal tea please which flavor flavor uh jasmine but sorry I meant for the boba

05:46the little spheres of tapioca and sugar the tea comes with boba well it doesn't because I see the

05:54tea right there and I see the boba over there so why don't we just not combine them yeah you know so

05:58I'll take the tea without the covert diabetes delivery mechanism please the system won't let me do that

06:04okay yeah no fine one boba please we'll call it a mental health day treat self-care right isn't that

06:15what people call it whenever they need an excuse to do whatever the fuck they want I don't know yeah

06:19no of course you don't course you don't one chewy sugar tea please all right uh you can scan the code

06:24uh why because the code takes you to the app that's two apps today yeah got apps for everything you know

06:33even though I'm already talking to the person that could just take my order right here but I got to

06:37download an app right how about this I have cash you have tea why don't we just streamline things

06:44we don't take cash though yeah how about cards take cards yes oh great but there is a $10 minimum

06:52there's no minimum on the app though sorry it's uh it's not your fault you know you didn't create

07:06the system the system is just it is what it is and we're both victims here so what nothing two boba

07:14teas please

07:44Ah, oh, that is rough.

08:04Ah, it's so sweet.

08:09Good though, it's good.

08:12What do you mean, key not found?

08:13Key not found? There is no key. The key is my phone.

08:19Where's my phone?

08:23God damn it, where's my phone?

08:30Yes, what?

08:31Hey, Dennis. Hey, man.

08:33Hey, real quick, you know that French dip of yours in the fridge?

08:36Can we eat that?

08:37No, that French dip has been in the fridge for a month, dude.

08:39Do not eat it. And do not call me.

08:41We already ate it.

08:42Yeah, we ate it.

08:42It's been eaten.

08:43I told him not to eat it.

08:44He tried to tell us not to eat it, but, like, anyway, we're just calling now so you don't get mad at us later, all right?

08:48Yeah, we're hoping that you get mad out there and then you come back and you're happy.

08:51Do not expect that sandwich when you get back because it's gone, okay?

08:54But don't worry about it. It has been pressure cooked.

08:56Yeah, we pressure cooked for shit out of that.

08:57What do you mean? You can't, no, you cannot pressure cook a French dip.

09:00Oh, yeah, you can.

09:01And I guarantee that the U.S. Navy is down in the submarine.

09:02Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Stop. No more phone calls. No more.

09:14Fantastic.

09:15Hello, officer.

09:21License and registration?

09:23Oh, this is a rental, actually.

09:25Turn the car off.

09:26Yeah, I, uh, I can't because I don't have a key.

09:32Uh, well, technically, there is no key.

09:35My phone is the key and I don't have a phone.

09:40Step into the car, sir.

09:42Uh, you know, I'd really rather not because I'm afraid if I get out then, um, I'm not gonna be able to start the car again.

09:49Sir, out of the car, please.

09:52Right.

09:52You don't care.

09:55All right, stepping out.

10:08Well, who could have predicted that?

10:15Hi, good afternoon. Fine, and you? Thanks for asking.

10:17Listen, my name is Dennis Reynolds and I'm on a family plan under the name Frank Reynolds and I need a new phone, please.

10:23Okay, I can help you with that here.

10:25Great.

10:26Frank Reynolds?

10:27Mm-hmm.

10:32The name's not that long.

10:34So, looks like I can get you a replacement phone here.

10:36Can I have it to you by any day tomorrow?

10:38Uh, no, that's not gonna work. I need it today.

10:41Unfortunately, the phones are at our warehouse.

10:43So, tell me about those.

10:47Because those look like phones.

10:49Those aren't the phones.

10:50Those aren't the phones.

10:51Hey, those aren't the phones, guys.

10:52So, you know, just so you know, those are just boxes filled with phones that aren't the phones.

10:56Phones for new customers.

10:58Oh, for new customers, right.

10:59Not for old customers, not for the paying customers, the people who've been paying for months and months for years and years and years and years.

11:04Let's punish those people and give the phones that are right there to the new customers.

11:07It's just how the system works.

11:09What?

11:09That system, I've been running up against it all day.

11:12Well, I'll tell you what, pal.

11:13I am not mad at you, okay?

11:15I am mad at the system.

11:17But unfortunately, the system isn't here for me to direct my frustrations at it.

11:20Good.

11:28Let's try something else.

11:30Um, what if we add a new line to the Frank Reynolds family plan?

11:34Would that make me a new customer?

11:36Yeah, I can do that.

11:36I just need your pin.

11:38Right, because the pin's the key to the phone and the phone's the key to the car and everything's been streamlined.

11:42Excuse me, please.

11:43I need to make a call on my watch.

11:45Are you sure this is going to work?

11:46Charlie, diamonds are made under pressure.

11:49This is a pressure cooker.

11:50We're going to cook diamonds.

11:52It's very linear.

11:53So genius.

11:54I just can't believe no one's ever thought of this before.

11:55We're going to be rich, man.

11:57I know.

11:58Dennis.

11:58Oh, oh, oh, oh.

11:59Do not answer it.

12:00It's a mental health day test.

12:01A test?

12:02Hmm.

12:03Test.

12:03Mm-hmm.

12:04In my day, if you wanted to get out of work, you hit yourself with a hammer.

12:08Or you got annoyed by a shark or something simple.

12:11No, I got to pick up now.

12:13No.

12:13Why would he?

12:14Unreal.

12:15Uh, let's try 69-69.

12:20Okay.

12:21Yeah, that's it.

12:22That worked?

12:23You're all set.

12:24Seriously?

12:25That's it.

12:26This is the phone.

12:26It's the phone.

12:27I'm going to open the box.

12:28I'm going to turn it on.

12:29The phone's going to work.

12:30Yep.

12:30It's going to work.

12:31It's your phone.

12:32What?

12:33Ah!

12:35Why won't you talk to each other?

12:37Talk.

12:38Talk.

12:39Talk.

12:40Talk.

12:41Talk.

12:43Talk.

12:43Dennis Reynolds.

12:45D-E-N as in Nancy.

12:48License plate.

12:49B as in boy.

12:50S-X-3-5-5.

12:58I'm sorry.

12:59I didn't get that.

13:00Yeah, no, I know you didn't get it because I didn't say it.

13:02I didn't say what it was.

13:03Did you say January?

13:05No, I didn't say January.

13:06I didn't say anything.

13:07I didn't give a month.

13:07I didn't give a day.

13:08Representative.

13:09No.

13:09Representative.

13:10Human.

13:11Human.

13:16D-E-N as in neighbor.

13:20I-S.

13:22Dennis Reynolds.

13:23D as in deliver me from this.

13:25E as in engage with human.

13:27N as in nightmare.

13:29N as in nightmare.

13:31I as in is this real?

13:34S as in somebody help me.

13:36There has to be a way to open this goddamn car.

13:38How do I open the car?

13:42Dennis Reynolds.

13:45D-E-N as in never ending.

13:51N as in never going to help me.

13:54Thank you for calling for customer care.

13:55Please enter your 17-digit VIN.

14:00Please say your name.

14:01Dennis Reynolds.

14:03Got it.

14:04Let me transfer you.

14:04Thank you for calling some customer care.

14:09My name is Daisy.

14:10May I please have your name and 17-digit VIN?

14:12No, no, no, no, no, no.

14:13I just entered.

14:14I just.

14:16I just entered all that information into the system.

14:20I'm sorry, sir.

14:20I get it.

14:21That's okay.

14:21No, no.

14:22That's okay.

14:23Daisy, was it?

14:24Listen, don't be sorry, okay?

14:26I'm not mad at you.

14:27I'm a little upset, but I'm upset at the situation, okay?

14:29And the situation is this, Daisy, if you'll just give me a second and indulge me, okay?

14:34My new phone won't talk to my car, okay?

14:38So I called the car rental company, and they put me on with a supervisor who told me to call Sumer Roadside.

14:43So I called Sumer Roadside.

14:45Spoke to someone over there who put me on with another supervisor who told me to call the service center.

14:48So I called the service center.

14:50Spoke to about, I don't know, two, three morons over there who had no answers for me whatsoever.

14:54They put me on with one of their supervisors.

14:56And that person told me to call the car rental company again.

14:58So I called the car rental company, then roadside, service center, rental company, roadside, service center,

15:04rental company, roadside, service center, and around and around and around like that for hours and hours

15:08until finally someone had the presence of mind to let me know there's a goddamn customer care line, okay?

15:12So I called the customer care line, and now I find myself talking to you, Daisy, my little wildflower,

15:17and you ask me to enter in my VIN and my date of birth again information which I already entered into your system, okay?

15:24Now listen, Daisy, Daisy, bear with me here, okay?

15:28I know you didn't create the system, okay?

15:32So you are not to blame, but somebody did create the system,

15:36and I would very much like to blame that person.

15:39So, who is that?

15:41Sir, I'm sorry, who is...

15:42Who is the person who created your customer service system in such a way

15:46that the information entered into the computer isn't passed on to the human representative?

15:52Sir, I don't know. I can send you to one of my supervisors...

15:54No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't send me to a supervisor, Daisy, Daisy, Daisy.

15:59It's just you and me.

16:01Just you and me, Daisy, fighting the good fight against a broken system,

16:04engineered to drive us both so crazy that we have to take days off for our mental health!

16:10Daisy?

16:15Yes?

16:16The summa. It's made in America, right?

16:19Yes, it is.

16:21Where?

16:31Yep, great, wonderful.

16:32All right, yes, okay.

16:36Oh, let me call you back.

16:40Hello. How are you?

16:43I've been better.

16:46I've been worse.

16:48Is the CEO in?

16:50I'm sorry. Who are you?

16:53Dennis Reynolds.

16:55D-E-N as in Nancy. N-I-S.

16:58Sue my customer for, uh, six hours and 17 minutes.

17:04I have some helpful feedback that I would very much like to pass on to your boss.

17:09Oh.

17:10Can I get you a water or something?

17:13Listen, I have traveled through blistering sun and pouring rain to get here,

17:19so if you don't mind, I'll just wait.

17:21Uh, he is not in the office this week, but customer feedback is very important to him,

17:28so if you'd like to leave him a message, I'll make sure he gets it.

17:35Mm-hmm.

17:37If I leave you a message, can you assure me that you will get this to him?

17:45Absolutely. I'll make sure he gets it when he gets back from the beach house.

17:49The beach, huh?

17:57Mm-hmm.

18:01I was supposed to go to the beach today.

18:02That's nice.

18:04Yeah. How about that, huh?

18:10Which beach?

18:11Which beach?

18:19Like, where do you go to the beach?

18:22Brandon, dinner's ready.

18:37Hi.

18:38Hi.

18:39Hi.

18:42Hi.

18:44Hi.

18:45Hi.

18:46Hi.

18:47Hi.

18:48Hi.

18:48I know there's something in the work of your smile

19:11I get a notion from the look in your eyes

19:16You're built for love, but that love falls apart

19:22Your little piece of heaven turns to gold

19:26Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you

19:33Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do

19:38I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why

19:44Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye

19:51Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worldwide

20:06The precious moments are all lost in the time

20:12Yeah, I swept away, and nothing is what it seems

20:18I'm feeling I'm belonging to your dreams

20:23Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you

20:29Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do

20:34I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why

20:39Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye

20:46This is a medical marvel

21:06Well, you lowered your blood pressure by 20 points in less than a minute

21:10But how?

21:13Well, just let off a little steam, all naturally

21:15Told you, Dr. Suma

21:17Oh, excuse me

21:20Hello?

21:23Oh, hey, Dennis, are we above or below sea level?

21:27I'll be right in

21:40Oh, take a, take a listen through it

21:52Oh, take a, take a listen through it

21:55Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

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