Stolen Smiles – The Final Caper of the Marx Brothers - video Dailymotion

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Step into a whirlwind of laughter and mischief in Stolen Smiles, the final cinematic adventure of the legendary Marx Brothers. As a priceless diamond vanishes, Harpo, Chico, and Groucho bring their trademark chaos to the hunt — filled with clever tricks, witty banter, and slapstick gold. A vintage comedy gem from 1949 that blends crime, charm, and classic Marx mayhem.  Restored and preserved for timeless enjoyment. Created for fans of old-school comedy and vintage cinema.  🎬 Original Title: Love Happy (1949) 🎭 Featuring: Harpo Marx, Chico Marx, Groucho Marx 🎞️ Genre: Comedy, Classic Film, Crime Caper

Transcript

00:00:00Don't anyone leave this theater.

00:00:25The Royal Romanop Diamonds are missing.

00:00:30I am Sam Grunyon, Private Eye at your service.

00:00:41Secrecy is my motto.

00:00:42I never tell.

00:00:44You will notice even my business card has nothing on it.

00:00:49I am the same Sam Grunyon who solved the International Uranium Mining Swindle.

00:00:54Scotland Yard was baffled.

00:00:55The FBI was baffled.

00:00:57They sent for me and the case was solved immediately.

00:00:59I confessed.

00:01:01The Romanop Diamonds, still missing, are valued at $1 million.

00:01:04For 11 years, I trailed them through the Khyber Pass, over the Pyrenees, round the Cape of Good Hope and into Gimbel's basement.

00:01:12From Gimbel's basement, the trail led me to a group of struggling young actors trying to put on a show.

00:01:17Did the Diamonds bring them luck?

00:01:19Money?

00:01:19Hardly.

00:01:21Once again was repeated the same pattern.

00:01:24A story of danger, cruelty, black violence, mystery, murder.

00:01:29By the way, what do you suppose the story was called?

00:01:31Love happy.

00:01:34Yeah, I'm love happy.

00:01:37It's wonderful to know the meaning of happy.

00:01:41And if I do.

00:01:43So because of you.

00:01:45I'm my, my, my, heart happy.

00:01:48I'm kiss happy.

00:01:49Whoever would believe that I'd be this happy.

00:01:53Why are skies blue?

00:01:55So because of you.

00:01:57Oh, my darling, my daisy, I may be crazy, but haven't you found?

00:02:04That we're doing what we like, and gee whiz, we feel like kids on a merry-go-round.

00:02:11Night happy and day happy.

00:02:13I see a future where I'm gonna stay happy.

00:02:17And I know why all my dreams come true.

00:02:22Cause you're love happy too.

00:02:26And I know why all my dreams come true.

00:02:56that's mike johnson interesting dance isn't it he landed fighting our bill collectors

00:03:07that's maggie phillips she's in love with mike she's a dancer too

00:03:15but it's hard to tell when she's sitting down

00:03:26this is maggie's best friend bunny dolan she invested our last three hundred dollars in

00:03:32the show it looks like a cold winter ahead so she's knitting herself an electric blanket

00:03:36these love happy kids who are struggling for success had two things in common

00:03:54they were under financed and undernourished today they had already missed breakfast

00:04:00and their hopes for lunch are pinned on one man harpo the strolling delicatessen

00:04:05here he is shopping looks like a classy store doesn't it well in the front they specialize

00:04:13in hot delicacies but in the back they specialize in hot diamonds

00:04:17bless you my man bless you

00:04:30thank you very much

00:04:41thank you

00:04:55thank you

00:05:00thank you

00:05:05thank you

00:05:07thank you

00:05:09I'll be teaching or just in time sardines have arrived relax and wipe that smirk off

00:05:21your face there are policemen around yes better we shall wait in your office yes

00:05:25better thank you

00:05:55it's all right just just eat them in

00:06:14thank you boys thank you

00:06:25oh

00:06:33oh

00:06:35oh

00:06:39oh

00:06:41oh

00:06:43oh

00:06:45oh

00:06:47oh

00:06:49oh

00:06:51oh

00:06:53oh

00:06:55oh

00:06:57oh

00:06:59oh

00:07:01oh

00:07:03oh

00:07:05oh

00:07:07oh

00:07:09oh

00:07:11oh

00:07:13At last, at last, you little darling, you're here.

00:07:43Is the Pelican Chilean yet?

00:08:07Arriving Wednesday on the Queen Mary.

00:08:11I have it. I have it.

00:08:12Quiet, Lefty.

00:08:13It's in the third crate marked on the bottom.

00:08:14I said quiet.

00:08:19I want to enjoy this moment.

00:08:23I have gone through a great deal.

00:08:26How many commissars did I marry, Alphonse?

00:08:28Five, Madame McGilligy.

00:08:29There were three more, were they not?

00:08:31Yes, the Grand Duke and the two ambassadors.

00:08:36Eight weddings in three months before I could track down the Royal Romanov necklace.

00:08:41On its trail from bridegroom to bridegroom.

00:08:45And along, the jaws are finally in my possession.

00:08:49If you please, Lefty.

00:08:54The Royal Romanov necklace.

00:08:59One million dollars in matchless diamonds.

00:09:03I have all done, even myself.

00:09:13There is something wrong, Lefty.

00:09:16Wrong?

00:09:17Oh no, impossible.

00:09:18This is not the right can.

00:09:19I beg to differ, Madame.

00:09:20It is the right one.

00:09:21Where is the can with the Maltese cross on it?

00:09:22You've got it.

00:09:23You're holding it.

00:09:24This can has no Maltese cross on the top or on the bottom of it.

00:09:27It can't be.

00:09:28The Maltese cross was on it.

00:09:29I saw it.

00:09:29I kissed it.

00:09:30It must have rubbed off.

00:09:31It was put on the special adhesive paint.

00:09:34A generation of rubbing could not have removed it.

00:09:37Mr. Throckmorton, may I present this oath to brothers.

00:09:41The specialty is taking care of people I do not like.

00:09:44Oh no, no, no.

00:09:44Let me open it, Madame.

00:09:45The diamonds are in here.

00:09:57Those hardly look like the royal Roman of diamonds, Lefty.

00:10:04You may proceed, gentlemen.

00:10:07Eight marriages.

00:10:23Wasted.

00:10:24The other leg, Hannibal.

00:10:26I'm afraid you have to stop.

00:10:35I cannot concentrate.

00:10:36You are wasting your time, gentlemen.

00:10:38Mr. Throckmorton is too feeble a character to try to deceive me.

00:10:41Revive him.

00:10:49I can't understand.

00:10:51I can't understand.

00:10:53I can't understand.

00:10:54Quiet.

00:10:55Who was present when you found a tin with a Maltese cross?

00:10:58Well, no one, not a soul.

00:10:59The door was locked.

00:11:00I put it in my pocket.

00:11:01I...

00:11:02Wait.

00:11:03Yes, there was someone.

00:11:04Strange looking creature.

00:11:05Look more like a tramp than a truckman.

00:11:07You will call the police.

00:11:17Inform them that the bushy-haired shoplifter has been at work at Herbert and Herbert's.

00:11:21Give them a full description.

00:11:23Offer a reward of $1,000 for his capture.

00:11:26Have all the suspects brought to my apartment, one at a time.

00:11:34Police headquarters, please.

00:11:35Police headquarters, please.

00:11:36Police headquarters, please.

00:11:38Hello, there, Larry.

00:11:40We shall need a corpse as a result.

00:11:43Great.

00:11:44Don't forget.

00:11:46I think you made work in many sites.

00:11:48Maybe he has fun with possessions.

00:11:50You know the axles.

00:11:51Do this.

00:11:52Really want to say throw, this severe actual�리.

00:11:53Have them to smile on a side.

00:11:54Here's where there is nothing left.

00:11:55But when you see a policeman between the years,

00:11:56And they're fighting on a boat.

00:11:57They're trying to be very lucky.

00:11:58And you can find you to essentially say Boектив or alert.

00:11:59Hey, kids, take five minutes.

00:12:26Excuse me.

00:12:28You, Mike Johnson...

00:12:29What do you want?

00:12:29I'm looking for a job.

00:12:30Wrong number.

00:12:31I'm all cast.

00:12:32Hey, trust me, Manuf.

00:12:33You're missing a big bet.

00:12:35Somebody told me you're putting on a show with unknowns.

00:12:38Your hiring of people has never been heard of.

00:12:41Well, I'm the most unknown and unheard of actors who've never been on Broadway.

00:12:44What's your name?

00:12:45Faustino the Great.

00:12:47You never heard of me, huh?

00:12:48No.

00:12:48What did I tell you?

00:12:49What are you unknown for?

00:12:51I don't like it to brag, but the thing I'm most unknown for is a mind reading.

00:12:55I give you a demonstration.

00:12:56You're thinking of something.

00:13:00Right so far.

00:13:02Uh-huh.

00:13:02You're thinking of a nice, juicy steak with a French fry the potatoes.

00:13:07The exit's over there.

00:13:08All right.

00:13:08You don't want to mind, Rita?

00:13:09What else you want?

00:13:10Maybe you need a juggler.

00:13:11No juggler.

00:13:12How about an usher?

00:13:13I bring on my own flashlight.

00:13:16Hello, Lions.

00:13:17Mr. Lions.

00:13:18So glad to see you.

00:13:19You're looking wonderful.

00:13:20Yeah, you sure are.

00:13:23Mr. Yorkman's supposed to be here at 10 o'clock.

00:13:25It's 11.30.

00:13:26Don't worry, partner.

00:13:27He'll show.

00:13:28Don't tell me to don't worry and please don't call me partner.

00:13:31I'm removing all my costumes and scenery.

00:13:33As of now.

00:13:33The man's mad pulling out of the biggest Broadway smash since Showboat.

00:13:37Don't tell me about smashes.

00:13:39Mr. Yorkman was going to be here to underwrite the show.

00:13:41Check?

00:13:41I told you exactly what he told me.

00:13:43Well, he ain't here.

00:13:44Check?

00:13:44Okay.

00:13:45Now we come to the next step.

00:13:46The situation is either Mr. Yorkman or $1,100 or I move the stuff off the stage.

00:13:51He has up now.

00:13:53Hey, wait a minute.

00:13:55Excuse me.

00:13:55You Mr. Lions?

00:13:56That's right.

00:13:57That's lucky I meet you.

00:13:59You know, I was just talking to Max Yorkman in his office.

00:14:01Are you a friend of Mr. Yorkman?

00:14:03Friend?

00:14:04Max and I are just like that.

00:14:05Two heads on the same neck.

00:14:07Well, I'm glad to meet you.

00:14:09You know, Max said to me, Faustino, you want a job?

00:14:12Go over and see Mike Johnson.

00:14:13I'm back in that show.

00:14:14He'll give you a job.

00:14:16That's what he said, Mr. Johnson.

00:14:18That's good enough for me.

00:14:20He's back in the show, he said?

00:14:21Use your common sense.

00:14:23Would I be here if he wasn't?

00:14:25I've been trying to get Mr. Yorkman on the phone to find out.

00:14:27You don't have to bother with the Max no more.

00:14:29Just talk to me.

00:14:31Okay.

00:14:31Maybe I was a little hasty about removing the stuff.

00:14:34That's only natural.

00:14:35You can't trust for nobody in the show business.

00:14:39Maybe he really knows, Mr. Yorkman.

00:14:41It's a buggy ride.

00:14:42This old show is a buggy ride.

00:14:44I'm a hire, huh?

00:14:44Yes, sir.

00:14:45That's fine, thanks.

00:14:46Thanks.

00:14:47How much do you pay me?

00:14:49That kind of talk's going to get you nowhere.

00:14:51Nobody in this show gets paid.

00:14:53Not till we open and click.

00:14:55Oh, that's all right.

00:14:56I just was thinking out loud.

00:14:58I'm a no-ham.

00:15:00Ham.

00:15:02Ham!

00:15:03Something's happened.

00:15:04It's lunchtime and he isn't here.

00:15:06Who isn't here?

00:15:06Harpo.

00:15:07Hey, Jim, have you seen any funny-faced tramps with bushy hair?

00:15:12Yeah, there's a thousand dollars reward.

00:15:18Harpo, everybody's been waiting.

00:15:20You're late with the food.

00:15:21Harpo.

00:15:33Harpo!

00:15:34Now, we eat.

00:16:04Hello, Hoppo. You got something for me? You want I should read your mind again? All right, I'll start thinking. You're thinking of the same thing you thought about yesterday and of the day before. That's the only thought you got, huh?

00:16:34You're in love. Our beautiful girls are going to smile at you. That's the only thing you want. This beautiful girl should smile at you. All right, stop thinking now. What do you got for me? I know one of the sardines. You promised me something special. Ice cream. Tootsie-fruotsie ice cream.

00:17:04We'll see you next time.

00:17:34Oh, my God.

00:18:04A royal feast.

00:18:14My Robin Hood has struck again.

00:18:20I'll have these tomorrow.

00:18:25Bunny Dolan, next number.

00:18:30Rehearsal.

00:18:35Gather round me, my children.

00:18:40Lift up your curly blonde heads.

00:18:44Cause mommy's got something to ask you.

00:18:49Before you crawl into your nice warm beds.

00:18:54Mama wants to know who stole that jam.

00:18:59Who's been in her nice clean kitchen?

00:19:00Who stole that jam?

00:19:02Was it little Tom or Sue or Mabel?

00:19:05Who snucked it off the table?

00:19:07Even ate the label.

00:19:09Mama wants to know who made this mess.

00:19:12Mama's gonna kick some teeth in if you don't confess.

00:19:16Mama wasn't looking.

00:19:17When that stuff was tooken, none of you would better scram.

00:19:21Who stole that jam?

00:19:23Mama's not the type that gets excited.

00:19:26She's locked those groceries home without a squawk.

00:19:29But Mama's gotta find that guilty party.

00:19:33One of you kids has to talk.

00:19:36Mama wants to know who stole that jam.

00:19:39Who's been rifling all those goodies.

00:19:41Ate her leg of lamb.

00:19:42Seems to me you're acting kind of flustered.

00:19:46Bet you ate that custard and topped it off with mustard.

00:19:49Mama wants to know.

00:19:51She don't wanna guess.

00:19:52Mama's gonna kick some teeth in if you don't confess.

00:19:56You're that little Ella's what snucked it off the shell of.

00:20:00I don't want that lollipop.

00:20:03Mama's gonna blow her top.

00:20:05You stole that jam.

00:20:12Mama's gonna blow her top.

00:20:36Can I get there?

00:20:38I love you.

00:21:08I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Thank you for your work, officer. But this creature's not the man. Good day.

00:21:13Yes, sir. Better luck next time.

00:21:18The wrong one again. We'll have to increase the reward.

00:21:21Answer it.

00:21:22Oh, whatever I lay my hands down to T-5, he promised you he'd regret he was ever born.

00:21:29I picked him up on the beat. Thought you might want to have a look at him and see if he's your man.

00:21:32Bushy hair and funny face, the sergeant told me.

00:21:34Yes, yes. Excuse me, officer. Hang on to him. I'll be back in a minute.

00:21:38That's the one. Are you certain? Absolutely. He's our man, I tell you. What do we do?

00:22:08So nice of you to take this trouble, officer. No trouble at all, ma'am. Is this the fellow you're looking for?

00:22:15No, he's not. But there is a superficial resemblance. Nothing more.

00:22:18Okay, baby. No, just a second. Don't send him at me like that.

00:22:22The poor man looks miserable and lost and without a friend. And he looks so intelligent. I would like to do something for him.

00:22:30Would you mind leaving him here, please, officer?

00:22:32I'd be a little careful if I were you, ma'am. You can't trust characters like these.

00:22:36Oh, but he looks so utterly harmless and hungry. Please, officer.

00:22:40Okay, ma'am. Thank you very much. We'll be keeping up the search.

00:22:43That's very kind. Goodbye, sir. Goodbye.

00:22:45You crummy little water... Mr. Throckmorton. I must ask you to leave.

00:22:51Yes, sir.

00:22:52She's giving him the whammy.

00:23:22I am Mother of God.

00:23:40I am Mother of God.

00:23:43I am Mother of God.

00:23:44I am Madame Galici.

00:23:54I've been looking for you for a long time.

00:24:00Because I think you may have something for me.

00:24:08Alphonse, honey bar. Search him.

00:24:14Let's go.

00:25:50Arpheus, honeyball.

00:25:52You were waiting in the other room.

00:25:53I think we'll be more comfortable alone, don't you?

00:26:06I like you.

00:26:12I like you very much.

00:26:14Arpheus, I don't want you to be lonesome and miserable.

00:26:19I want to ask you a few questions, a few personal questions, but you mustn't lie to me.

00:26:27I do not like it when people lie to me.

00:26:33I get offended.

00:26:44Alphonse, honeyball.

00:26:45This creature won't talk.

00:26:47There are ways of making him talk.

00:26:51I give the orders here.

00:26:53Wind of the devil.

00:26:54Stop that.

00:26:54What did you do with the sardine cans?

00:27:00Answer me.

00:27:02Oh, take him away.

00:27:04Give him everything.

00:27:05But she was doomed to failure.

00:27:09For right now, the sardines are on a table in Maggie's dressing room.

00:27:13For three days, Maggie had eaten Harpo's presents.

00:27:15Smoked chicken.

00:27:16Canned turkey.

00:27:17Tuna fish.

00:27:19If only she had developed a taste for sardines, the show would have been saved.

00:27:22Meanwhile, the cast went on with Dressry Heisel, unaware of the troubles ahead.

00:27:28All right, kids, let's get set for the Sadie Thompson number.

00:27:52All right, kids, let's get set for the Sadie Thompson.

00:28:22All right, kids, let's go.

00:28:52All right, kids, let's go.

00:29:22All right, kids, let's go.

00:29:52All right, kids.

00:29:54All right.

00:29:55All right.

00:30:56That was fine, Maggie.

00:31:12Now go change into your ballet costume.

00:31:14Meanwhile, Madame Igalici, wearing the pants of the dreaded catwoman, was desperately trying to make Harpo talk.

00:31:22Twice came the Hungarian rope torture.

00:31:26For six hours, Harpo sat in a chair smoking rope.

00:31:29And four hours on the hideous rack.

00:31:54An original from the workshop of the fiendish Ferdinand von Krakowicz of Monte Carlo.

00:32:02Place your bets. Place your bets.

00:32:09When Harpo wouldn't talk, Madame Igalici decided to take things in her own hands.

00:32:14That meant only one thing, her own specialty.

00:32:17The insidious food and water torture.

00:32:19The insidious food and water torture.

00:32:40Soon.

00:32:41Has he spoken yet?

00:32:51Not a word.

00:32:52The water?

00:32:52Still dripping.

00:32:53Has he slept?

00:32:53Not a week.

00:32:54Eden?

00:32:54Not a bite.

00:32:55Three days without breaking.

00:32:57It's rather unusual.

00:32:59After I finish eating, bring him in, and we shall give him the apple test.

00:33:07You have refused to speak.

00:33:08We shall keep on firing until you tell me what I want to know about a certain can of Portuguese sardines.

00:33:14Fire!

00:33:23Put that apple back on your head!

00:33:36Nothing must happen to him.

00:33:37He's the only living soul who can lead us to the sardine can.

00:33:43The gun isn't loaded, is it, Alphonse?

00:33:45No, madame.

00:33:46It's empty.

00:33:51There were only four bullets in it, weren't there?

00:33:53That's right, madame.

00:33:58Grab him.

00:33:58The gun is empty.

00:33:59We've been fooled.

00:34:21He can speak.

00:34:22I'll stop him.

00:34:23No, no.

00:34:24Let him talk.

00:34:25I'll listen in.

00:34:33You.

00:34:34You've got to know how.

00:34:35They want to sing.

00:34:35They want to dance.

00:34:36But what do you say?

00:34:37You say no.

00:34:38You say stop with the music.

00:34:39Who's are you?

00:34:41Tuscanini?

00:34:47Harpo!

00:34:49Some sort of code.

00:34:51Mr. Lyons, stop with the noise.

00:34:53Stop with the moving.

00:34:53It's a harpo.

00:34:54Where is he?

00:34:56Shh.

00:34:57I'm reading his mind.

00:34:58Clear your head.

00:35:03You talk too fast.

00:35:04Clear your head.

00:35:24That's better.

00:35:28He's a-having a party.

00:35:33Everybody's a-hitting him with apples.

00:35:35It's a-lots of fun, eh?

00:35:39Hey, what do you think?

00:35:41A beautiful woman is in love with him.

00:35:43Fur as sardines.

00:35:47What?

00:35:48You don't say.

00:35:49This a beautiful woman wants to marry him.

00:35:54How much money she's got?

00:35:58Tell her to come to the Windsor Theater.

00:36:01We got lots of sardines here.

00:36:03Lefty.

00:36:05They are at the Windsor Theater.

00:36:07He says she's a richer woman.

00:36:09Well, stop her thinking.

00:36:10Listen to me.

00:36:11We're in a trouble.

00:36:12You bring her to the theater right away in a half an hour.

00:36:14Hurry up.

00:36:15Quick.

00:36:15Stop her for nothing.

00:36:16Alphonse, honey, Bob.

00:36:34Hey, everything is a-fine.

00:36:35Harpo's safe at the show.

00:36:36He's bringing us a bride with a lots of money.

00:36:38I ain't fall for any more stalls.

00:36:40It's a-no stall.

00:36:41It's a-love.

00:36:42She's a-bringing the money.

00:36:43Boys, keep moving the stuff out.

00:36:46Hey, you musician?

00:36:48Well, I used to play.

00:36:50I knew it the first minute I look on him.

00:36:53I say to myself, this Mr. Lyons, he's another tough like he looks.

00:36:57He's got something in his side.

00:36:59Something comes up from the heart.

00:37:02What kind of music do you like?

00:37:03Uh, I like gypsy music.

00:37:06Gypsy music?

00:37:06It's a-magnifico.

00:37:07I like a gypsy music.

00:37:09Hey, stop with the moving.

00:37:10Stop with the noise.

00:37:11Everybody stop.

00:37:12Mr. Lyons, he's a-going to play.

00:37:14Here.

00:37:15Uh, you know play gypsy play?

00:37:17No, I don't know that.

00:37:18All right.

00:37:18You know, uh, gypsy serenade?

00:37:21No.

00:37:21What do you know?

00:37:22Uh, I know gypsy love song.

00:37:24Gypsy love song.

00:37:25Yeah, but I only know the chorus.

00:37:26That's all right.

00:37:27I play the voice, so now you follow me.

00:37:29All right, you play the verse, now I'll noodle around.

00:37:31What do you mean by noodling?

00:37:32Like this.

00:37:34That's good.

00:37:35You noodle on that, I macaroni on this.

00:37:37Now, look, Mr. Lyons, I know you want to make a good impression, but please don't play

00:37:51better than me.

00:37:52Here we go.

00:38:22Are we playing the same thing?

00:38:52One too much.

00:39:10That's very good.

00:39:31Now we try the chorus.

00:39:32But the chorus we play pianissimo.

00:39:34You know what pianissimo is?

00:39:36No.

00:39:37How long do you study music?

00:39:39Fifteen years.

00:39:40Fifteen.

00:39:40You know, two more years you could have been a plumber?

00:39:42All right, all right.

00:39:43Never mind the pianissimo.

00:39:45I'm going to make it very simple for you.

00:39:47We play it allegro pizzicato.

00:39:49That's why you call him a high-class Carnegie Hallster.

00:39:52You know allegro pizzicato?

00:39:54No.

00:39:55You know Jimmy pizzicato?

00:39:57No.

00:39:58None of the pizzicatos, huh?

00:40:00No.

00:40:00What do you know?

00:40:02I know pistachio.

00:40:04Pistachio?

00:40:05We'll play it.

00:40:06We'll play it.

00:40:09.

00:42:11Very good.

00:42:12Very good.

00:42:17Now we play one more chorus.

00:42:19Come on.

00:42:19Well, boys and girls, I've got a little sad news for you.

00:42:30Our show isn't opening.

00:42:32We're closing tonight without a shot at Broadway.

00:42:36Mr. Lyons, a man of small faith, is removing the scenery and costumes from the production.

00:42:41Mr. Johnson, may I suggest that we do what all actors have always done since before the days of Thespis and William Shakespeare?

00:42:48Perform without scenery or costumes or salary.

00:42:55Sorry, I can't go on with that kind of a show.

00:42:58Curtains down, school's out.

00:43:02Better luck next time.

00:43:03Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson, but Mr. Lyons said to take everything.

00:43:10Uh-huh.

00:43:10Well, go ahead. Say it.

00:43:17I wasn't going to say anything.

00:43:19You don't have to put it into words, baby. It's sticking out of your eyes.

00:43:22I'm yellow. No guts.

00:43:24Not at all, Mike. You're just what you are.

00:43:26And what's that?

00:43:27A very nice, sweet, sensitive young man who doesn't belong in show business.

00:43:30Thanks.

00:43:32Here, have some good hot coffee.

00:43:34And discuss your next career.

00:43:36An orange aid stand would be interesting, don't you think?

00:43:38You'd look stunning in an apron surrounded by nice yellow oranges.

00:43:45Here, have some sardines.

00:43:46I don't want any sardines.

00:43:48I'm not throwing a bear turkey on the stage.

00:43:50I'm quitting, Maggie.

00:43:51And don't start waving a flag and telling me the show must go on.

00:43:54So relax. It's over.

00:43:56No, it isn't over.

00:43:57We're going to open without scenery, without costumes.

00:44:00Just with talent and people.

00:44:02We're going to open and knock them dead.

00:44:04Hallelujah.

00:44:05Come on, let's get out of here. We'll get something to eat and celebrate.

00:44:07What's there to celebrate?

00:44:08Today's your birthday.

00:44:09Don't change the subject.

00:44:10Listen, Mike, we've got a good show here.

00:44:12If you'd only try to...

00:44:13What do you think life is, a fairy tale?

00:44:15Yes, it is.

00:44:18Fairy tales.

00:44:19Sardines.

00:44:21What do you want?

00:44:33Could you tell me, please, where I can find Mr. Michael Johnson?

00:44:37You're speaking to the gentleman in person.

00:44:39Oh, how wonderful. You are really, Mr. Johnson?

00:44:41What can I do for you?

00:44:42Oh, Mr. Johnson, so much.

00:44:44You mean in the show?

00:44:46You have a place for me, I'm sure.

00:44:48Too bad, Miss...

00:44:49Oh, Madame Miguelici.

00:44:50Madame Miguelici.

00:44:51Mr. Johnson, you must have a place for me.

00:44:54Not anymore.

00:44:54But why?

00:44:55Because of a bankroll we haven't got.

00:44:58What I'm trying to say, Madame, without breaking into unmanly tears,

00:45:01is that we're folding our show.

00:45:03Calling it a day.

00:45:05Better luck next time, Madame Miguelici.

00:45:06Oh, you mean to say that the show is not going to open and the actors are going away?

00:45:12Oh, no.

00:45:13How much money do you need, Mr. Johnson?

00:45:15A loan from Congress would help.

00:45:17Mr. Johnson, I am serious.

00:45:18I have a supply to money.

00:45:19This is over my head, Mike.

00:45:21What's going on?

00:45:23It's simple.

00:45:24Didn't you say life is a fairy tale?

00:45:26Well, here's our fairy godmother with a wand.

00:45:29And what a wand.

00:45:31Madame Miguelici, I need $1,100 to raise the curtain.

00:45:34You're not kidding, are you?

00:45:35Shall we go to your office, Mr. Johnson?

00:45:38Let's go.

00:45:39You are going to make me so happy.

00:45:40So happy.

00:46:03He's taking a long time for a business deal.

00:46:09He'll be back.

00:46:10Oh, don't be a fool.

00:46:12Let's go.

00:46:13Sorry, Bonnie.

00:46:14I promised.

00:46:14I told you never to eat your dinner in this room.

00:46:26Cheer up, honey.

00:46:27Maybe he's breaking your heart to make a better actress out of you.

00:46:33Well, baby, we're opening.

00:46:50Lyons is bringing back the scenery and costumes.

00:46:52That's wonderful.

00:46:53Yes, she was really wonderful.

00:46:54She's mad about the theater, and she liked all of my ideas.

00:46:57She's a real showwoman.

00:46:58You can tell me all about it at dinner.

00:47:00Oh, I almost forgot.

00:47:01You'd better struggle along without me tonight.

00:47:03Rita and I still have a lot to discuss, and I promised her that I would...

00:47:07But, baby.

00:47:08I know it's your birthday, but this is important.

00:47:11I'll be a trooper.

00:47:11Cheer up.

00:47:12Everything looks wonderful.

00:47:14It would look better if you'd wiped the rouge off your mouth.

00:47:17Oh, don't get any ideas, Maggie.

00:47:18I was so excited when I saw the money.

00:47:19I had to kiss somebody.

00:47:21I've got to run.

00:47:22See you tomorrow.

00:47:23Happy birthday.

00:47:40Do you want all these cans open, madame?

00:47:42Yes.

00:47:43But these open cans may attract attention.

00:47:44What shall I do with them?

00:47:45In the alley.

00:47:46The alley?

00:47:46Done.

00:47:46You like sardines?

00:47:55Yes.

00:47:56Why, have you got any?

00:47:56No, but I got something better.

00:47:59I got something that's worth a million dollars to you.

00:48:01Really?

00:48:02What is it?

00:48:03Love.

00:48:04It come to me like a flash.

00:48:06The first minute I see you.

00:48:07That's why you call them love at the first look.

00:48:10It's a kind of love that's never going to die.

00:48:12Would you do something for me?

00:48:13Anything.

00:48:14I climb up the highest mountain.

00:48:16Down and up.

00:48:17Up and down.

00:48:18I put my arm in the fire.

00:48:19Up here for you.

00:48:20Uh, go and get me all the sardines cans you can find in this theater.

00:48:25Sardines?

00:48:26Ha!

00:48:26That's nothing.

00:48:29I'm going to cover you with the sardines.

00:48:31That's how much I love you.

00:48:34Watch my smoke.

00:48:43Meow.

00:48:53Meow.

00:49:23darling

00:49:41my favorite animals cats

00:49:46I collect them

00:49:47darling

00:49:48darling

00:49:53at last our search is over

00:49:56here is the camp

00:49:57where is the necklace

00:49:59in here

00:50:00really Throckmorton

00:50:01I'm sure of it

00:50:02he was eating the sardines

00:50:03and he swallowed the necklace

00:50:04oh but that is impossible

00:50:05I'll have it examined at once

00:50:07I'm not getting your sardines

00:50:12I got to use something better

00:50:13what?

00:50:14anchovies

00:50:15I have no use for them

00:50:17maybe you like a kippit herring

00:50:19smelts

00:50:20a smoked white fish

00:50:21I get you any kind of a fish you like

00:50:23I love you

00:50:24ah signorina genti

00:50:26la belle d'istatura

00:50:27can draw you

00:50:28when

00:50:53go away

00:50:58go away

00:51:05I'm sure your new partner is more important than I am

00:51:07oh Harbo I thought it was

00:51:10oh Harbo

00:51:12this is where you live

00:51:23isn't it Harbo

00:51:24it must be wonderful to be like you Harbo

00:51:30you live alone

00:51:33that is

00:51:34you don't need other people

00:51:36you don't depend on them

00:51:38you never get hurt

00:51:40you don't need other people

00:51:44you don't need other people

00:51:45you don't need other people

00:51:46you don't need other people

00:51:47you don't need other people

00:51:48you don't need other people

00:51:49you don't need other people

00:51:50you don't need other people

00:51:51you don't need other people

00:51:52you don't need other people

00:51:53you don't need other people

00:51:54you don't need other people

00:51:55you don't need other people

00:51:56you don't need other people

00:51:57you don't need other people

00:51:58you don't need other people

00:51:59you don't need other people

00:52:00you don't need other people

00:52:01you don't need other people

00:52:02you don't need other people

00:52:03you don't need other people

00:52:04you don't need other people

00:52:05Oh, Harbo, you're wonderful.

00:52:23Harbo, I've got an idea.

00:52:26I've been a fool, letting my heart stand in my way.

00:52:30But it's not too late.

00:52:32He'll still give me the part tomorrow morning.

00:52:35Mr. Hammerstein, can you imagine me in a Broadway production?

00:52:41A star. A real star.

00:52:45And I'll work. No more Nickel Romeos for me.

00:52:49I'll work and keep going and get famous.

00:52:52And we'll be rich together.

00:52:55And Harbo, you'll be with me because you've always loved me.

00:53:00I haven't anyone except you.

00:53:03And from now on, you'll be my manager, too.

00:53:06We'll be famous together.

00:53:07We'll scale the heights of Broadway together.

00:53:10A star and her manager.

00:53:14We'll be important people, Harbo.

00:53:16You'll be the most influential manager on the great white wave.

00:53:20You'll have a whole suite of offices and a great big shiny mahogany desk.

00:53:25You'll be just as famous as me, Harbo.

00:53:29Everyone will come to your office and call you on the phone.

00:53:33All the great stars and writers and producers to beg you to help them.

00:53:38And you'll audition all the great singers and dancers.

00:53:41They'll want advice about new plays.

00:53:44Begging to work in your productions.

00:53:46Our productions.

00:53:47You'll be rich and important, Harbo.

00:53:49You and I both.

00:53:51We'll have everything we ever dreamed of.

00:53:53Everything.

00:53:53I'm sorry, Harbo.

00:54:09I'm afraid everything isn't very much without that rotten, horrible Mike Johnson.

00:54:13And on my birthday, too.

00:54:18He had to do it on my birthday.

00:54:21Yes, and he knew it was.

00:54:24Oh, I hope I never, never have another birth.

00:54:27I hope I never, never have another birth.

00:54:57I hope I never, never have another birth.

00:55:57Oh, Harpo, what would I do without you?

00:56:21You've made this the nicest birthday I've ever had.

00:56:27You've made this the nicest birthday I've ever had.

00:56:57You've made this the nicest birthday I've ever had.

00:57:27You've made this the nicest birthday I've ever had.

00:57:57You've made this the nicest birthday I've ever had.

00:58:27You've made this the nicest birthday I've ever had.

00:59:04At last the show was opening.

00:59:26When Mackinac, my faithful operator, reported that Madame Miguelici had put money in the show,

00:59:31I knew a crisis was at hand.

00:59:33Now I was close to what I'd been trailing all these years.

00:59:37Madame Miguelici, I mean the diamonds.

00:59:40Immediately I started for the theater.

00:59:42Incognito, of course.

00:59:44Agenoa, you now have a full record of the case,

00:59:47and tonight at the opening of the play you may have the solution.

00:59:49But when the curtain rises, Madame Miguelici will be in the front box,

00:59:53and sitting next to her will be Count Boulabase.

00:59:55But if you take away the Count Silk Hat, his opera cloak, and his full dress suit,

00:59:59you'll have me shivering in my underwear.

01:00:01Hello!

01:00:02Come along, Mackinac.

01:00:03We will be just in time to be fashionably late.

01:00:06Good evening.

01:00:12I'm Ivan.

01:00:13Well, don't fret about it.

01:00:14You can always change it to Tom, Dick, or Harry.

01:00:15They get around a lot.

01:00:16Come, Mackinac.

01:00:16Hey, that's not my suit you're pulling.

01:00:21Give me the diamond necklace.

01:00:23We've only just met him already.

01:00:24He's asking me for things.

01:00:25I'm from the Romanovs.

01:00:27To recover the diamonds, we paid you 100,000 zlottis.

01:00:30Zlottis.

01:00:31Did you ever try to spend a zlottis in this country?

01:00:34The diamonds.

01:00:35When one hour you die.

01:00:37Oh, yes, Mackinac.

01:00:38Allow me to introduce you to the man who's going to kill me.

01:00:46At the sound of the next musical note,

01:00:53the end of my life will be brought to you

01:00:54by the Bolivar Sand Company.

01:00:57Is your watch running fast?

01:00:58Would you like me to drop a little sand in it?

01:00:59Fume, where grains of sand to fall,

01:01:01and you will die.

01:01:03I think I'm ready.

01:01:11Come in.

01:01:16Is there anything I can do for you?

01:01:26What a ridiculous statement.

01:01:28Mr. Grenion,

01:01:29I want you to help me.

01:01:30I have a little sand left.

01:01:31What seems to be the trouble?

01:01:34Some men are following me.

01:01:35Really?

01:01:37I can't understand why.

01:01:42I advise you to leave.

01:01:43I'll take you down to the bus station.

01:01:44Oh, if I'm not back tonight,

01:01:46go ahead without me.

01:01:52That's been the history of all my romances.

01:02:14Hurtin' time.

01:02:20Five minutes.

01:02:35All right, I'm a heel.

01:02:36That's not news.

01:02:38Could you love a heel that's been repaired?

01:02:39I came back last night to get you.

01:02:41Ten minutes after you'd left.

01:02:42You did?

01:02:44Uh-huh.

01:02:44With a clean face.

01:02:47What's all that?

01:02:49Harpo gave them to me.

01:02:51I thought it might improve the costume.

01:02:53Uh-uh.

01:02:53Too phony.

01:02:56Tomorrow, if we're not stoned to death by the mob,

01:02:59I'll get you a reel, Jim.

01:03:01For the proper finger.

01:03:04Mike.

01:03:05Steve, get ready.

01:03:28You're on in a few minutes.

01:03:29I'll be ready.

01:03:30I'll be ready.

01:03:30We want the diamonds.

01:03:41What diamonds?

01:03:41You were wearing them.

01:03:42Oh, those.

01:03:43Where are they?

01:03:44I don't know.

01:03:45She's not going to talk.

01:03:46She'll talk about it.

01:03:46It'll be leachy.

01:03:47Well, there'll be murder.

01:03:51What'd you do with those diamonds?

01:03:53Here goes.

01:03:53What's going on here?

01:04:01You let go of her!

01:04:07Let's search the place before we take it away.

01:04:08Yeah.

01:04:14What do you want?

01:04:15I should read your mind?

01:04:16I'm not too busy now.

01:04:17The shows are going to stop.

01:04:19I'm telling you, you're too excited.

01:04:20I can't read your mind.

01:04:22All right, I'll read your mind.

01:04:23What's on your mind?

01:04:26It's a dame.

01:04:27All the time you got a dame on your mind.

01:04:30Oh, it's another dame.

01:04:31It's a nicer gal.

01:04:33Yeah, what about a nicer gal?

01:04:37That's what you call a nicer gal?

01:04:39You're crazy.

01:04:40That's a dog.

01:04:41A dog?

01:04:42What about a dog?

01:04:43A big dog?

01:04:45A police dog?

01:04:46Big, big dog?

01:04:48Saint Bernard dog.

01:04:49Big, bigger, bigger dog?

01:04:50Great dame.

01:04:51A great dame?

01:04:52What about a great dame?

01:04:54Great dame got a dimple?

01:04:56Great dame got a whiskers?

01:04:57That's my jaw.

01:04:58Great dame, jaw.

01:04:59Great dame, jaw.

01:05:00Great dame, jaw.

01:05:01Great dame, jaw.

01:05:02Great dame, jaw.

01:05:03Great dame, jaw.

01:05:03Great danger.

01:05:04Oh, oh.

01:05:06Who's the girl in great danger?

01:05:10I can't read your hand.

01:05:11I can only read your mind.

01:05:12That's a billy goat.

01:05:18That's a trollson.

01:05:19Sing a mammy.

01:05:20Mammy goat.

01:05:21Mammy.

01:05:22Mammy.

01:05:23Mammy.

01:05:24Mammy.

01:05:25Mam.

01:05:28Mam.

01:05:29Mam.

01:05:30Mam.

01:05:31Mam.

01:05:32Mam what?

01:05:33Mam what?

01:05:34Mam what?

01:05:38You open the door?

01:05:39With the key?

01:05:41Mam.

01:05:41Ma.

01:05:43Key.

01:05:44Ma.

01:05:44Key.

01:05:45Ma.

01:05:45Key.

01:05:46Ma.

01:05:46Key.

01:05:46Ma.

01:05:47Key.

01:05:47Maggie.

01:05:48Maggie.

01:05:49Oh, Maggie's in a great danger.

01:05:50Oh, smart, huh?

01:05:52Oh, ho.

01:05:53Catch on it quick.

01:05:54Maggie's in a great danger.

01:05:56Who's after Maggie?

01:05:59That's a bird.

01:06:01A seagull.

01:06:01A bigger bird.

01:06:02A turkey bird.

01:06:03A big, big bird.

01:06:04A stool pigeon.

01:06:07That's a Yankee doodle.

01:06:09Yankee doodle bird.

01:06:11Catch the flag.

01:06:12On top of the flag is an eagle.

01:06:14Eagle.

01:06:15Eagle.

01:06:16What about an eagle?

01:06:17Eagle scratch.

01:06:19Eagle tickle.

01:06:20Eagle got fleas.

01:06:21Eagle annoy this.

01:06:22Ah, stop you making me itchy.

01:06:24Itchy.

01:06:25Eagle.

01:06:26Itchy.

01:06:26Eagle.

01:06:26Itchy.

01:06:27Eagle.

01:06:27Itch.

01:06:28Eagle.

01:06:28Itch.

01:06:28Eagle.

01:06:28Itchy.

01:06:29Eagle.

01:06:29Itchy.

01:06:30Oh, eagle.

01:06:31Itchy.

01:06:31What eagle itchy going to do to Maggie?

01:06:34That's the horse.

01:06:35The horse run away with Maggie.

01:06:36The horse will fall down on Maggie.

01:06:37That's a hammer or a nail.

01:06:41No hammer.

01:06:42A nail.

01:06:43A big nail.

01:06:44A little nail.

01:06:45A little bitchy nail.

01:06:47A little bitchy.

01:06:48Tack.

01:06:48Attack.

01:06:49Tack.

01:06:50Wet tack.

01:06:51Wet tack.

01:06:52Wet tack.

01:06:54Wet tack.

01:06:54Horse.

01:06:55Wet tack.

01:06:56Horse.

01:06:56Wet tack.

01:06:57Horse.

01:06:57Wet track.

01:06:58Horse.

01:06:58Wet track.

01:06:59Horse.

01:06:59Wet track.

01:06:59Mother.

01:07:00Mother.

01:07:01Mother.

01:07:02Mother.

01:07:03Mother.

01:07:04Mother.

01:07:05Mother.

01:07:06Mother.

01:07:06A murder, a murder, a murder, a murder, a murder, a murder, a murder, a murder, a murder, a murder, a murder.

01:07:12It's a murder.

01:07:13He's going to murder Maggie.

01:07:15Oh, come on, let's go.

01:07:18Good luck, Bunny.

01:07:19Thanks, Jim.

01:07:24One of the diamonds will murder you.

01:07:26Hey, one of the diamonds.

01:07:27Who's got a diamond?

01:07:28What do we do?

01:07:29What are we going to do?

01:07:29All right, come on, girls, come on.

01:07:31Get in line and look pretty.

01:07:32Now, remember, this is opening night.

01:07:34Now, let's hear those lines.

01:07:35And put a little heart into it.

01:07:37Perfume from Hindustan.

01:07:39Oil from Arabium.

01:07:41Diamonds from Africa.

01:07:54Come on, we'll take her to the hotel.

01:07:55But there's a show on.

01:07:57We're not interested.

01:07:58We'll keep her there until she tells us where she hit the diamonds.

01:08:00Hey, don't take her away.

01:08:02I confess.

01:08:03I got her the diamonds.

01:08:03I find them.

01:08:04Where are they?

01:08:04Right here.

01:08:05But I don't give them to you.

01:08:06Here, Hoppo.

01:08:07Keep your name escape.

01:08:12Hoppo, this way.

01:08:16Help me hold the door.

01:08:20We've got to keep chasing us.

01:08:21If I find out, we've no kind of the real diamonds.

01:08:23We want to stop at the show.

01:08:24Kill Maggie.

01:08:25Now, I've got to get back in the theater.

01:08:27Hurry.

01:08:27You go.

01:08:28Ugh.

01:08:28And that way, eländig.

01:08:38I want to get back in the movie.

01:08:39Ah, there he is!

01:09:09What's the matter with you two?

01:09:33He was right here.

01:09:34Where did he go?

01:09:38What are you doing there, you idiot?

01:09:40What's your magic?

01:09:41Whoa!

01:09:57There he is!

01:09:59That's where I saw him!

01:10:01You two are here!

01:10:08Get him off to the other road!

01:10:15Get him off to the other road!

01:10:22You two are here!

01:10:24You two are here!

01:10:27That's what I saw!

01:10:29The End

01:10:59THE END

01:11:29THE END

01:11:59THE END

01:12:29THE END

01:12:59THE END

01:13:29THE END

01:13:59THE END

01:14:29THE END

01:14:59THE END

01:15:11The odds were a thousand to one that I wouldn't make it, but here I was, back on the trail.

01:15:15At the risk of death, I fearlessly scrutinized every possible hiding place.

01:15:24Ah, I'm Adam Michalici. Don't you remember me?

01:15:50Yes, I do.

01:15:51Yes, I do.

01:15:53No, I mean before that.

01:15:54Grañon, I am warning you.

01:15:57This time I am going to get the diamonds, and no one is going to stop me.

01:16:01Oh, no, no, I'm not going to follow you and get shot.

01:16:08If I was half shot, I'd follow you.

01:16:10I'll take those.

01:16:11I'll take those.

01:16:18I'll take those.

01:16:26I'll take those.

01:16:30Give me those diamonds, you fool.

01:16:42You want the diamonds?

01:16:43Sure, I give them to you.

01:16:44Now, what are you going to give me?

01:16:46That's not what I want.

01:16:47Where are they?

01:16:48You got them.

01:16:49The real ones.

01:16:50Those are the real ones.

01:16:51Harpo, he's a guy of the fakes.

01:16:53He's up there.

01:17:16There he is again.

01:17:21Where is he?

01:17:24He was standing right there.

01:17:25That's where I saw him.

01:17:26You two out of your heads.

01:17:27There he is.

01:17:28That's it.

01:17:29Where is he?

01:17:30Right there.

01:17:31Well, Fox, throw him out.

01:17:32Where is he?

01:17:33Where is he?

01:17:34There he is.

01:17:38I'll get him.

01:17:39Get him.

01:17:40Get him.

01:17:41I'll get him.

01:17:58Good work, my man.

01:18:28I was just about to enter the battle myself.

01:18:30From now on, I'm going to take care of you.

01:18:32You've got the axe, of course.

01:18:45I'm in complete command of the situation.

01:18:55I didn't see a thing.

01:18:56All the window shades were down.

01:18:57Search him.

01:19:01Oh, no, I'm not going to get into that.

01:19:04If this were a French picture, I could do it.

01:19:09I'll search him myself.

01:19:11No, the diamonds have kept us apart too long.

01:19:13I'll tackle them single-handed.

01:19:18I'd kill anyone who's got those diamonds.

01:19:20Grainon, darling.

01:19:31Careful, you're singeing my coat.

01:19:32I don't care about the diamonds.

01:19:35All I really want is you.

01:19:36So, you finally fell for me, eh?

01:19:39Yes.

01:19:40This is the sweetest moment of my life.

01:19:42Come, my darling.

01:19:43Goodbye, old man.

01:19:44It was nice knowing you.

01:19:45Please, you're tickling my change pocket.

01:19:49Oh, my darling, let's get a wee together.

01:19:51Just you and I.

01:19:52What fun we'll have.

01:19:53We'll stop at Rivera, Monte Carlo, Rio de Janeiro.

01:19:56Yeah, but first we'll stop at the unemployment insurance office and I'll pick up my check.

01:20:12And that's how the long search ended.

01:20:14With the diamonds in the pocket of a happy-go-lucky clown who disappeared with them.

01:20:18Never realizing their true value.

01:20:20Anyway, that was six cases ago.

01:20:24Right now, I'm hot on the trail of the Calcutta cutthroats.

01:20:26And I've tracked them down to a good-humor plant in Istanbul.

01:20:31Answer that, my man.

01:20:34I'm busy.

01:20:39Gin, eh?

01:20:4110, 30, 40, 47, 50, 60.

01:20:43Fine, assistant.

01:20:45There goes on my coat.

01:20:48Yes?

01:20:50Yes, dear.

01:20:51Yes, I'll be home, dear.

01:20:52No, I won't be late, dear.

01:20:54Six o'clock, I'm on the dock.

01:20:55Yes, dear.

01:20:56Goodbye, dear.

01:20:59My wife.

01:21:01Formerly, Madame Igalici.

01:21:05Love happy, love happy.

01:21:08It's wonderful to know the meaning of happy.

01:21:11And I know why all my dreams come true.

01:21:15Cause you'll love happy, too.

Stolen Smiles – The Final Caper of the Marx Brothers

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