- yesterday
Englishmovies Good Girls Gone Wild ReelShort New Drama 2025 shortfilm EnglishMovie cdrama drama engsub chinesedramaengsub movieshortfull
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Thank you very much.
00:00:30Oh, Dad.
00:00:35Hello?
00:00:36Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:39I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:43So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:47Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:00:57You know, I want to surprise him.
00:00:59What?
00:01:00But you can't.
00:01:01I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:04Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:06You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:10You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:12She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:21Come on, Lexi.
00:01:22So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:39Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:42But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:45I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:49But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:52So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:55Mushrooms?
00:01:56No, not like that.
00:01:57Like something nice.
00:01:59Like maybe a trip.
00:02:01Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:03No.
00:02:05Sorry, Sue.
00:02:06Sue, I have a date.
00:02:07Oh, so do I.
00:02:10Sorry, Sue.
00:02:11Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:12We'll figure it out.
00:02:13Oh, flowers, are these from you?
00:02:26Yeah, sure.
00:02:28Here you go.
00:02:30No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:33I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:36I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:41Oh, Jake.
00:02:43Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:49Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:02:50When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:53The best night of my life.
00:02:54It will be, I promise.
00:02:57It'll always be amazing.
00:02:58With you and me.
00:03:00Together.
00:03:08Jake, no.
00:03:09I have to go.
00:03:10I have to work on my art project.
00:03:11You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective, but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:17Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:21This Saturday?
00:03:22Of course.
00:03:27Thanks.
00:03:29Okay.
00:03:30Bye.
00:03:30Oh, baby.
00:03:42You're so hot.
00:03:43I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:45Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:46What was your name again?
00:03:47Rod.
00:03:48Sex God.
00:03:49Lexi is so upset she's speechless.
00:03:58You're right.
00:03:59I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:10Does not compute.
00:04:12Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:17Oh, huh.
00:04:18Hi.
00:04:21When did you get home?
00:04:22So, is it true?
00:04:23Yes, it is.
00:04:25It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:29I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy, and he has a really bright future ahead of
00:04:36him.
00:04:36So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:39Lexi, tell her.
00:04:40Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:44On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:46Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday, or maybe even, like, our 29th.
00:04:51Eight.
00:04:52Maybe.
00:04:54Listen, guys.
00:04:55I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:01I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:10But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:12We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:19It's not Jake.
00:05:21It's the male ideal.
00:05:22Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:05:27Right.
00:05:29Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:31I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:32I'm not really an artist.
00:05:33Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:36The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:39And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:41I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:43And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:44Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:51I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:54Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:03You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:06Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:12To church.
00:06:13To pray for you.
00:06:14I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting this in sleep.
00:06:18Yeah, me too.
00:06:28Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:30It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:32I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:34Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:06:45I mean, not me.
00:06:46I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:50I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:52Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:55But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:59But there was nothing there.
00:07:00Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:05My best friends.
00:07:07They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:09Okay.
00:07:11Third base.
00:07:12What?
00:07:13No.
00:07:14Like, sex.
00:07:15Like, intercourse?
00:07:17With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:19I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:20If you know what I mean.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:23Go all the way.
00:07:24What?
00:07:25What?
00:07:26What?
00:07:28How could you do this?
00:07:32You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:36What?
00:07:42Yes.
00:07:43Yes.
00:07:45Run.
00:07:45Run.
00:07:46Home run.
00:07:48Damn it.
00:07:51You fucking Yankees.
00:07:53Sorry.
00:08:17Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:21I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:24Jeez.
00:08:24Can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:27I have an announcement to make.
00:08:29I want to do it.
00:08:31Do you hear me?
00:08:32I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend.
00:08:35On our birthday.
00:08:37Do what?
00:08:39It.
00:08:40Screw.
00:08:41You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:08:44You know, shagging.
00:08:46Fucking.
00:08:48You do.
00:08:49Uh, but what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:53And, um, what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:55Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:57Really?
00:08:59Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:03So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:07Right?
00:09:08Right.
00:09:11I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:12Hey, Frank.
00:09:22Hi, Sue.
00:09:24Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:27I don't know.
00:09:27Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:29Yeah.
00:09:29He's blind.
00:09:30Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:37Wait, wait.
00:09:37Bye.
00:09:37Hey, um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:44It's for our birthday.
00:09:45Do you want to come?
00:09:46Do you think he can see at me short?
00:09:47Do you think he can see at me short?
00:09:59Well, the house looks done.
00:10:02Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:04We finally turn 18.
00:10:05And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:08Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:11So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:10:14Jake.
00:10:14And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:17But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:18To pop your chair?
00:10:19It's easy.
00:10:20I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:26What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:27I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:38My soulmate.
00:10:42Chris.
00:10:43Sue.
00:10:44You, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:48I mean...
00:10:48What?
00:10:48No.
00:10:49Chris is perfect.
00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:53Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:54It's a sign.
00:10:56Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:01What?
00:11:02He does not.
00:11:03Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:05He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:06With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:11Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:16Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:19See you in the morning.
00:11:20I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:30I knew it would happen.
00:12:00You're so perfect.
00:12:01You're so perfect.
00:12:01You're so perfect.
00:12:30Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:54Tomorrow's the rest of the day.
00:13:09Oh, my gosh.
00:13:32They're coming.
00:13:33Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:38Ew, why?
00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:41It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:43I'm going to start.
00:13:44You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid.
00:13:49Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants.
00:13:51That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ.
00:13:55I'm going to wrap your mouth, too.
00:13:57Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:03You're an idiot.
00:14:03A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:08Guys, seriously, come on.
00:14:09Hurry up.
00:14:11Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:16I love it.
00:14:17Um, you should put that down, though, because it's, like, it's really...
00:14:21Very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Okay.
00:14:23Set it down.
00:14:25Hurry up.
00:14:28Those were your anal beads, right?
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30All right.
00:14:30Let's go.
00:14:49Whoa, is this part of the hat?
00:14:50Oh, jeez.
00:14:51Whoa.
00:14:54Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:14:56Oh, Attack of the Wet T-Shirts.
00:14:57Nice.
00:14:58Nice.
00:14:58Nice.
00:15:07Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:10Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:13That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:17And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:20Oh, how did you know?
00:15:21I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:23Oh, she's a big be careful.
00:15:29She's such a cutie.
00:15:32Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:34All right.
00:15:34Sorry.
00:15:35Are you okay now?
00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:37Okay, I'll see you later.
00:15:41I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:43This is crazy.
00:15:44Jake!
00:15:45Hi!
00:15:46Hey, babe.
00:15:48Happy birthday.
00:15:50Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:53What?
00:15:54You want a beer?
00:15:58No.
00:16:01Oh, hon.
00:16:03Yeah.
00:16:07I have your present here.
00:16:08I'll give it to you later.
00:16:09The time's right.
00:16:11You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:14And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:19Hey, Ralph.
00:16:21We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:24We'll bet.
00:16:28All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:31How you doing?
00:16:32Hey.
00:16:37Check it out.
00:16:44Dare me?
00:16:47Woo-hoo!
00:16:55Look at the glue.
00:16:56Look at the dummy.
00:16:57Oh, dude.
00:17:01Look at those.
00:17:02Are those real?
00:17:03I don't know.
00:17:03Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:04Hey!
00:17:05Dude, move!
00:17:06Come on, lame!
00:17:07Oh, all right.
00:17:08Okay.
00:17:09I'll see you guys later.
00:17:10Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:11Aw, the moves.
00:17:1220 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:16Yeah!
00:17:16They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:23Who cares?
00:17:25Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:33Here, let me.
00:17:34Joanna, no.
00:17:34Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:36Come on.
00:17:38Open.
00:17:39Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:44I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:48Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:49I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:50It just, like, disappeared.
00:18:03Are these real?
00:18:04Of course they are.
00:18:07How come I've been up before?
00:18:09I don't know.
00:18:10Maybe he's just going to be around.
00:18:11Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:15Maybe upstairs.
00:18:16I don't know.
00:18:18Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.
00:18:20That's probably where he went.
00:18:23Go roll.
00:18:26Liquid courage?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:28Atta girl.
00:18:32Vodka cranberry?
00:18:33It's really simple.
00:18:36Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:38I can go meet a rod.
00:18:40Sue?
00:18:41Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:45They're just eyes.
00:18:47Okay, nothing to be scared of.
00:18:48Seriously.
00:18:49You're going to be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:56Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:59No.
00:18:59He does not have gay face.
00:19:01I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:03I'm going to do it.
00:19:04I'm going to do it.
00:19:05I'm going to do this.
00:19:18Go back.
00:19:22Hey, you can do this.
00:19:24Just act like a slut.
00:19:25Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:37Yeah, my favorite chapter is Solomon Galore.
00:19:40Chris.
00:19:42Hi.
00:19:43Can I talk to you?
00:19:45Uh-huh.
00:19:45Um, in private?
00:19:48Oh.
00:20:01Hey, Lexi.
00:20:02Hey, Lexi.
00:20:03What?
00:20:04Chris.
00:20:06You're so sexy.
00:20:08Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:15And I really want to...
00:20:18Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:20Is that wrong?
00:20:21Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:23Nothing.
00:20:23I'm sorry.
00:20:24I don't know how to do this.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:28Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:20:31I understand these urges.
00:20:35And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:39Really?
00:20:40You do?
00:20:40I do.
00:20:41I really do.
00:20:43I like you too.
00:20:45Really?
00:20:46You do?
00:20:47I do.
00:20:48I really do.
00:20:49It's just...
00:20:50I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:56Right.
00:20:57Lexi said you were...
00:20:58Jesus.
00:20:59Oh.
00:21:00That man.
00:21:01Of course.
00:21:02What did you think?
00:21:04Oh, nothing.
00:21:05So we can still do this then?
00:21:08Oh, Sue.
00:21:10You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our son,
00:21:18when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately, beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty.
00:21:41Under that hot, hot, hot sun.
00:21:45I just feel such compassion.
00:21:48I think about those things too.
00:21:50So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:54Not really.
00:21:55I just find it too hard.
00:21:57It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:04So...
00:22:06So...
00:22:08We're going to go out there, right?
00:22:17Andy, we're going to tell you three months.
00:22:19Hey, Ty.
00:22:20Whoa!
00:22:22Have you seen Jake?
00:22:23Uh, no.
00:22:24No.
00:22:25All right.
00:22:29Okay.
00:22:29All right, focus.
00:22:30Focus, focus.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:32Okay.
00:22:32Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:34Okay.
00:22:35Okay.
00:22:36Okay.
00:22:37Oh, there he is.
00:22:41Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:56How could he?
00:23:00Sue, what happened?
00:23:02Did you guys do it?
00:23:03Sue?
00:23:04Sue?
00:23:05He doesn't want me.
00:23:06Because he's gay.
00:23:08No, he's not.
00:23:09He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:11Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:12The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for
00:23:17you.
00:23:18Look, the only way you're going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know what
00:23:23kind of woman you really are deep inside.
00:23:24What?
00:23:25Come with me.
00:23:26Where?
00:23:27To meet your dark side.
00:23:30To meet your dark side.
00:23:31Out.
00:23:32Everyone out.
00:23:33Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:23:37I really can't.
00:23:38I really can't.
00:23:39I really don't think I can do this.
00:23:40I really don't think I can do this.
00:23:41I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:23:43No, this was true.
00:23:44It's not true.
00:23:46I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:23:51It's not a matter of motion.
00:23:53It's not a matter of motion.
00:23:54It's not a matter of motion.
00:23:55I really can't.
00:24:06I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:09I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:14I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:19Sue?
00:24:21Can you see it?
00:24:23Sue.
00:24:25I'm almost...
00:24:28I'm almost there.
00:24:33What?
00:24:36What?
00:24:37Sue, what happened?
00:24:38What did you see?
00:24:40A raccoon?
00:24:41What?
00:24:43You overshot it.
00:24:44Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:52I can't.
00:24:53Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:54Okay, fine.
00:24:56Fine.
00:24:57I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:25:00What?
00:25:01You really need an orgasm.
00:25:04Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've
00:25:07never even had it with yourself.
00:25:09This really has to be your first step.
00:25:11Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:13Coming.
00:25:14Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:16Just find it and use it.
00:25:19Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:20It's black.
00:25:22It vibrates.
00:25:25Come on, Rod.
00:25:26Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:29Don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:31Hey, cutie!
00:25:44Cutie!
00:25:44Bullseye!
00:25:49Bullseye!
00:25:50Oh, yeah!
00:25:54Bang.
00:25:56Bang.
00:25:56Bang.
00:25:57Bang.
00:25:59Good boy.
00:26:00Straighten up.
00:26:01Good boy.
00:26:02Good boy.
00:26:04He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:07I'm sorry.
00:26:08I can't see anything.
00:26:09That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:11What a bitch.
00:26:12Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:33Oh, no.
00:26:33Oh, no.
00:26:33Oh, no.
00:26:42Oh, shit.
00:26:48What's wrong with this thing?
00:27:07Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:15For sure?
00:27:16I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:20That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:24No, it's awful. I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:33It's a text. It's from him. I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:36Okay. He's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:42Oh, I can't face him. Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:45No, you can't just leave.
00:27:47Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened. I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:52No. He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:55Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.
00:27:58I'm leaving.
00:28:00I'm leaving.
00:28:01Revenge sex.
00:28:02Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:04It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:11Revenge sex.
00:28:12Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:14It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:18you. But he, I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't care about me. I mean, why would
00:28:23he's just into other girls? Trust me, he'll care. Seriously, this is the worst thing you
00:28:29can do to him, to his ego, to screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him,
00:28:35especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:40No, I couldn't. Plus, I mean, there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:45Eric. He's perfect. Eric Hall? Are you kidding? I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He makes
00:28:53your type. Really? And what type is that? He's funny. Yeah. Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled
00:29:01around with him once. He has this great ton of room. Oh, no. I could never fool around with
00:29:05somebody you've fooled around with. Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else. Someone
00:29:10that I haven't fooled around with. Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with
00:29:18him? I mean, you're not going to marry the guy. No, I just couldn't do it. Fine. If
00:29:24you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:28to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly even scar him
00:29:32with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it, go ahead. But honestly, I don't
00:29:37know how you'll be able to live with yourself. I don't know. But honestly, I don't know
00:29:45how you'll be able to live with yourself. I don't know. Trust me. It's going to work.
00:29:56I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs. Hi, Cheryl. Okay, enough to chat with us. Oh, no.
00:30:07Hey. Happy birthday. Thanks.
00:30:37Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:46So, happy birthday. Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was
00:30:55from Britain? But it's actually from us. U.S. America? United States?
00:31:02I know where we live. Right. Of course. I know where we live. Right. Of course.
00:31:17Hey, Jesus, Eric. Are you going to make your move or not? Oh, you want me to move? Yeah,
00:31:21no, I can totally move. I just... No, you're fine.
00:31:24Jake! So, Eric, do you want to do it or not? Oh, I'm sorry. It? What, um...
00:31:44It? Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty? Oh. Oh, you mean, like,
00:31:55uh, right now? I mean, well, yeah. You know, the sooner the better.
00:32:02Yeah, sure. I mean, yeah, of course. Um, I just never realized that you... I mean...
00:32:08Whew. Uh... It's just... You're so... You're so beautiful.
00:32:19Okay. Um... Hmm? Uh, no cuisine.
00:32:23Right. Um, of course. Sorry?
00:32:29So, um, do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:33Oh, wow. Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:39Now that you're left over, you're not. You're fresh.
00:32:45Now that you're left over, you're not. You're fresh. Organic. Yep.
00:32:54So, the wrap. Right. Um...
00:32:57Well, where's the, uh...
00:32:59It's, uh, the end that I just, like, right over...
00:33:02Oh, oh, yeah. Here it is. I see it. Um, let me just, uh...
00:33:05Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
00:33:08Sorry. Sorry. I, um...
00:33:10It's... It's okay. Here. Do it again.
00:33:14Sorry. I, uh, I, uh...
00:33:15I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:17You know what? Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:21Okay.
00:33:25Uh, let me just see.
00:33:29Oh, here it is. I got it.
00:33:30All right. Just, um, pull it.
00:33:32Oh, let me just...
00:33:34Oh, jeez. Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:39You okay?
00:33:40Help! Help!
00:33:41Uh...
00:33:42Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:45Oh, jeez.
00:33:48Well, that was stupid.
00:33:55Yeah.
00:33:58How you doing tonight?
00:34:04I'm good.
00:34:05You having a good time?
00:34:06Yeah? You good?
00:34:07Jake! I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:11What?
00:34:12I can't hear you.
00:34:14I didn't have a beer.
00:34:16Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:17Jake!
00:34:17Sorry, we're...
00:34:18Upstairs.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:20Hold on.
00:34:22Take a piss.
00:34:23How much beer?
00:34:24Oh, my God.
00:34:54Let me just get the blinds.
00:34:55Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:58Um, don't worry about it.
00:34:59What?
00:35:00I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:05Oh.
00:35:07Well, OK.
00:35:08OK.
00:35:22Finally.
00:35:23I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:35:26Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:28Um, don't worry about it.
00:35:30What?
00:35:31I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:35Oh.
00:35:37Well, OK.
00:35:38OK.
00:35:53Yeah.
00:35:54Okay, right.
00:35:55Here we go.
00:35:56Okay.
00:35:58Mm.
00:35:59Awesome.
00:36:00Thanks.
00:36:01Mm.
00:36:02Mm.
00:36:03Mm.
00:36:04Mm.
00:36:05Oh, my God.
00:36:06Oh, my God.
00:36:07Oh, my God.
00:36:08Ah, my God.
00:36:08What are you doing?
00:36:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:33Um, not yet.
00:36:34More foreplay.
00:36:35Huh?
00:36:36Oh.
00:36:38It's so good.
00:36:45Oh.
00:36:47Yep.
00:36:48Oh, my God.
00:36:50Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:36:51What?
00:36:52What?
00:36:52Ah, ah, oh.
00:36:54Ah, yeah.
00:36:56Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:57Is that even a thing?
00:36:59I don't know.
00:37:02Ah.
00:37:03Are you okay?
00:37:07No, no, no, no.
00:37:08It's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:09I'm just, uh, I'm embarrassed.
00:37:12It's probably TMJ or fracture, swollen.
00:37:18You sure you're okay?
00:37:20Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:21Okay, great.
00:37:22Have fun.
00:37:22Oh.
00:37:28Now.
00:37:29Now, let's do it now.
00:37:30No, no, not yet, not yet.
00:37:35I'm gonna come.
00:37:35I'm gonna come.
00:37:36Are you ready?
00:37:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:39No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:40Lexi!
00:37:41Lexi!
00:37:41Oh!
00:37:42Shh!
00:37:43Oh!
00:37:46No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:37:47Lexi!
00:37:48Lexi!
00:37:49Oh!
00:37:49Shh!
00:37:50Ugh!
00:37:51No means no.
00:37:53Huh?
00:37:53Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:37:55It's been a really long time, and I just haven't been masturbating for anything.
00:38:02Uh-oh.
00:38:05Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:08How are you doing?
00:38:10How's it going?
00:38:11Good.
00:38:12Eric?
00:38:13Eric, help me. I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:17Excuse me.
00:38:22Cheryl's in here.
00:38:23What's up, bro?
00:38:29What the fuck is...
00:38:31Hey, wait!
00:38:34Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:38:42Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:38:46Damn it.
00:38:48I'm going to save somebody to that bitch.
00:38:50Hey, you!
00:38:51You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm going to teach you a lesson.
00:38:59I'm so sorry!
00:39:00I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:02Ah!
00:39:03Oh, man.
00:39:13Oh, man. No more water balloons.
00:39:28This party's ass.
00:39:30This party's ass.
00:39:32Yeah!
00:39:37This just isn't working.
00:39:40Nothing.
00:39:40What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway.
00:39:45Lock your character, man.
00:39:46Relax, dude.
00:39:48Spark it up!
00:39:49All right!
00:39:50Yes!
00:39:50All right!
00:39:50Yes!
00:39:51All right!
00:39:51Oh, man!
00:39:52I love this game!
00:39:53Oh, man!
00:39:54I love this game!
00:39:55We're in the controllers.
00:39:56We've got to play.
00:39:57Here, here, here, here.
00:39:58Okay, let me find another one.
00:39:59All right, come on.
00:40:00Come on!
00:40:01Whoa!
00:40:02Whoa!
00:40:03Whoa!
00:40:04Look at this!
00:40:05Oh, my God!
00:40:06Pew!
00:40:07Pew!
00:40:08Pew!
00:40:09Get that thing away!
00:40:10Jesus!
00:40:11Ha, ha, ha!
00:40:15Ah!
00:40:18Hey, dude!
00:40:19Nice shot!
00:40:20What the hell?
00:40:21What is it, me?
00:40:26Whoa!
00:40:27Nice!
00:40:29Are you sitting on there or something?
00:40:32Hey, you found the grenade launcher!
00:40:34Nice, nice!
00:40:41Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:57Whoa!
00:40:59You are the controller.
00:41:01No, I just, I didn't, I swear, I.
00:41:11You're all right, you're all right.
00:41:17Hey, don't leave.
00:41:18No, don't leave.
00:41:19What are you going, man?
00:41:23It's okay, um, hey, Sue.
00:41:34Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:36Yeah, I just needed to.
00:41:39Um.
00:41:39Oh, sir.
00:41:40Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:45You were? You mean...
00:41:49Yeah.
00:41:52So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:56Can we go get a drink?
00:42:00Wow, your toilet's really clogged.
00:42:04You know what? I gotta go.
00:42:07Happy birthday.
00:42:08No, Chris, no, there wasn't. I didn't...
00:42:11God, never mind.
00:42:24This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:27Never going to have sex.
00:42:29Ow.
00:42:38Hello? A little attention here.
00:42:51Oh, yeah. Sorry.
00:42:54Lex, don't be selfish.
00:43:00Oh, right. Sorry.
00:43:03Oh, jeez. Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:43:07Too much fucking multitasking. Screw it.
00:43:22Screw it.
00:43:52Oh, no, that was bad.
00:44:06That was so bad.
00:44:19Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:22I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:30Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:34Yes, it does.
00:44:36So, you're JJ?
00:44:38Uh-oh.
00:44:38I don't know.
00:44:39I don't know.
00:44:40I don't know.
00:44:41No.
00:44:42I don't think he can see him, he can't breathe at the middle.
00:45:00Hello, welcome to 1-900-CONFESS.
00:45:03Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:05A nun.
00:45:06Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:12Please hold.
00:45:14Oh, thank goodness.
00:45:181-900-CONFESSION.
00:45:20How may I be of service?
00:45:21It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:24I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:26One day?
00:45:34Is that too long?
00:45:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:37Go on.
00:45:39Uh, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:43Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:45:46What's her problem?
00:45:47A washing machine touched her.
00:45:51Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well.
00:45:54All right, freak, time's up.
00:45:56What?
00:45:57But what do I do?
00:45:58Just unplug the thing.
00:45:59No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:46:02Well, then be happy.
00:46:04You found the perfect man.
00:46:06I'm serious.
00:46:07Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.
00:46:13Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:15No contritions?
00:46:17You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:19It's not in the Bible.
00:46:21So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:24Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:27Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:30Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:33Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:35Huh.
00:46:36God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:38He sure is.
00:46:39Now run along.
00:46:44Wow.
00:46:45How do you know all that?
00:46:47Because I'm a nun.
00:46:48Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:50Huh.
00:46:51Accidental masturbation.
00:46:52Who'da thunk?
00:46:53Revenge sex.
00:46:54What a stupid fucking idea.
00:46:55God, I'm getting out of here.
00:46:57Yeah, admit it.
00:46:58I've got no game.
00:46:59I guess I can scare you away, I guess.
00:47:00I'm a beautiful man.
00:47:02You're welcome.
00:47:03You're welcome.
00:47:04You're welcome.
00:47:05You're welcome.
00:47:06You're welcome.
00:47:07You're welcome.
00:47:08You're welcome.
00:47:09You're welcome.
00:47:10You're welcome.
00:47:11You're welcome.
00:47:12You're welcome.
00:47:13You're welcome.
00:47:14I guess I can scare you away, I guess.
00:47:15I'm a beautiful man.
00:47:20Fucking douchebag.
00:47:22Damn it.
00:47:24Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:27You go, girl.
00:47:28What?
00:47:31What are you doing here?
00:47:33We needed someplace private.
00:47:35But hey, listen.
00:47:36If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:38Yeah?
00:47:39If you want someone great.
00:47:40I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:43No offense.
00:47:45Frank.
00:47:46The blind guy?
00:47:48Really?
00:47:49I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:52I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:54It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:57It was like we used all our senses.
00:48:00Everything.
00:48:03If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:06All right.
00:48:14What about him?
00:48:15Jeremy.
00:48:16Oh, yeah.
00:48:17I know Jeremy.
00:48:18Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:20I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:23It's Jones.
00:48:24Jeremy Jones.
00:48:26This all makes sense.
00:48:28Excuse me.
00:48:30Jeremy.
00:48:31Hi.
00:48:32Hey.
00:48:33Who's on the phone?
00:48:34Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:36You'll meet her.
00:48:37I'll come here in like an hour.
00:48:38Wait.
00:48:39You have a girlfriend?
00:48:53Oh.
00:48:54Hi, Frank.
00:48:55Sit.
00:48:56Oh, you meant...
00:48:57You meant the dog.
00:48:58Relax.
00:48:59You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:02Oh, I'm...
00:49:03I'm relaxed.
00:49:04I'm fine.
00:49:05Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:06I'm not.
00:49:07How did you know that?
00:49:08Corner.
00:49:09Sit.
00:49:10Roll over.
00:49:11Yeah.
00:49:12You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:14Oh, I'm...
00:49:15I'm relaxed.
00:49:16I'm fine.
00:49:17Then why are you biting your nail?
00:49:18I'm not.
00:49:19How did you know that?
00:49:20Corner.
00:49:21Sit.
00:49:22Roll over.
00:49:23I'm not.
00:49:27How did you know that?
00:49:30Corner.
00:49:34Sit.
00:49:36Roll over.
00:49:40Oh, you mean me.
00:49:44Roll over.
00:49:47Oh, you mean me.
00:49:49Oh, how do you...
00:49:50How do you want me to...
00:49:52Just lay down.
00:49:53Oh, wait, I...
00:50:04Oh.
00:50:05I shouldn't even be doing this,
00:50:07but considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:10Okay.
00:50:13Oh.
00:50:16See me with your hands.
00:50:22All right.
00:50:22Uh...
00:50:23You know, I should really...
00:50:31I have a boyfriend,
00:50:32and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:33Really.
00:50:37Oh.
00:50:46Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:47I don't know.
00:50:48All right.
00:51:02Frank.
00:51:03Oh.
00:51:07Oh, Frank.
00:51:08You know what, man?
00:51:33Look, give me a chip.
00:51:35My chips, old boy.
00:51:36Look, give me a chip, man.
00:51:37My chips.
00:51:38Oh, my chip?
00:51:39Give me a chip.
00:51:41My chips?
00:51:43Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:46Sorry.
00:51:54It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:57That's all.
00:52:02No, let me do this.
00:52:03Go ahead.
00:52:04I got it.
00:52:04I got it.
00:52:04No, really, please.
00:52:05I want to help.
00:52:06Okay, everybody out.
00:52:12Leave.
00:52:12I have to back.
00:52:13I have to back.
00:52:13You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:27They're over here.
00:52:28I see some dust over here.
00:52:32So, it's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:39This is a dirty floor.
00:52:40Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:45Not a
00:52:49therapist.
00:52:50careg
00:52:50I continue to the floor.
00:52:52Oh, no.
00:52:54Oh, no.
00:52:55Oh!
00:52:56Oh!
00:52:56Oh, no.
00:53:02Oh!
00:53:02Oh.
00:53:03Oh, yeah.
00:53:04Oh, my.
00:53:05Oh.
00:53:06Oh.
00:53:06Oh.
00:53:06Oh, okay.
00:53:07I've not got it all.
00:53:08I'm just gonna, I'll see you out of home.
00:53:19Frankie!
00:53:21Oh my, oh!
00:53:22What was that?
00:53:23What?
00:53:25Fucking shit!
00:53:26Man, we gotta smoke.
00:53:27Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:53:30Stop, Frank, stop teasing Frank!
00:53:33Oh shit!
00:53:35Sorry man, we're just looking for a place to finish this road.
00:53:38Oh, I heard something.
00:53:39You wanna join us?
00:53:40Uh...
00:53:41No, I might not.
00:53:42Come on, you gotta do it!
00:53:43Come on!
00:53:44Seriously guys, I need to-
00:53:45What's your dog, man?
00:53:46Dude, what's it like being blind of it?
00:53:47It's tripping.
00:53:52Frank?
00:53:54Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:58Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:02Thanks man.
00:54:03Ooh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:05I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:06Dude, I haven't stopped focusing since junior high.
00:54:09Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:10I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:15Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:16This is some good shit.
00:54:17Oh no.
00:54:18You're the devil.
00:54:19No more.
00:54:20You're the devil.
00:54:21No more.
00:54:22JJ, I'm Jeremy.
00:54:23You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:29Please.
00:54:30Lex, I can't.
00:54:31I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:32I really like this girl.
00:54:33Fine.
00:54:34It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra and I also have on crotchless panties.
00:54:35Oh no.
00:54:36Oh no.
00:54:37You're the devil.
00:54:38Oh no.
00:54:39You're the devil.
00:54:40No more.
00:54:42JJ, I'm Jeremy.
00:54:43You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:47Please.
00:54:48Please.
00:54:49Lex, I can't.
00:54:51I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:53I really like this girl.
00:54:54Fine.
00:54:55It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra and I also have on crotchless panties with
00:55:04just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:09Oh.
00:55:11We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:16Perfect.
00:55:17Before she gets here.
00:55:19Perfect.
00:55:20Before she gets here.
00:55:21Perfect.
00:55:22Let's do it.
00:55:23Let's do it.
00:55:24Fuck me.
00:55:25Fuck me now.
00:55:26What?
00:55:27What's wrong?
00:55:28I can't.
00:55:29I can't get it in.
00:55:30It's too fun.
00:55:31Let's do it.
00:55:33Let's do it.
00:55:35Fuck me. Fuck me now.
00:55:41What? What's wrong?
00:55:43I can't. I can't get it in.
00:55:45Try down there.
00:55:47It's like desert down there.
00:55:49It's sandpaper.
00:55:51Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:53Just try it again.
00:55:55No.
00:55:57Why is this happening?
00:55:59We fooled around before.
00:56:01I was dripping wet. I came like four times, remember?
00:56:03Just do what you did then.
00:56:05Go on. I already did my thing.
00:56:07I already tried.
00:56:09What? What is different this time?
00:56:11I don't know.
00:56:13Last time...
00:56:17I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:19What?
00:56:21You're not JJ?
00:56:23But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:25How can you not be JJ?
00:56:27JJ?
00:56:29Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:31Where are you going?
00:56:33We're not done here.
00:56:35I can still do this.
00:56:36I just need a little bit of work.
00:56:37I can do this.
00:56:38I don't need JJ.
00:56:39I don't need anyone else.
00:56:41We can do this.
00:56:43Go team.
00:56:45What?
00:56:47What?
00:56:48Just keep going.
00:56:53Jeremy?
00:56:54Shit!
00:56:57Jeremy?
00:57:04Where's Jeremy?
00:57:06We were just...
00:57:07We were just...
00:57:08You know...
00:57:10Hey babe.
00:57:11Just working out.
00:57:16How could you?
00:57:17You bastard!
00:57:21You might wanna...
00:57:22What?
00:57:24What?
00:57:29Mariela!
00:57:30Mariela!
00:57:32You know those aren't mine!
00:57:34At least not all of them.
00:57:37What is wrong with you?
00:57:42What is wrong with you?
00:57:44You used to be so pure.
00:57:47Well no more.
00:57:48That's it.
00:57:49Really, that's the last one.
00:57:50Ssss...
00:57:56Oop!
00:57:57Ssss...
00:57:58Ssss...
00:57:59Aah!
00:58:00Ssss...
00:58:01Come on man!
00:58:02Ssss
00:58:03Ssss...
00:58:05Hahahaha!
00:58:07Ssssshh!
00:58:12Ssss...
00:58:13Sshh...
00:58:14Sshh...
00:58:15Ssssshhh!
00:58:17Sssshh...
00:58:18Ssssshh!
00:58:19Cheryl?
00:58:24What is it?
00:58:25What are you doing down here?
00:58:27Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out
00:58:29and get far, far away from here.
00:58:31What? Why?
00:58:33Nothing, just this lying guy and his dog and...
00:58:37Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:40No, it's not okay.
00:58:42God.
00:58:44And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:46I'm sorry.
00:58:47It's Jake's. Jake's fault.
00:58:49That blind, cheating bastard.
00:58:51Yes.
00:58:52He is such a dickwad, you need to confront him.
00:58:55Yeah.
00:58:56Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:58I mean, it's my birthday, and where is he anyway?
00:59:01Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:59:03You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:06Yeah, a big piece.
00:59:07A big old chunk of my mind.
00:59:09A big piece of it.
00:59:10Yeah.
00:59:12You know, you might wanna...
00:59:14You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:16Yeah, you're right.
00:59:17Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:18I don't know.
00:59:19I'm sorry.
00:59:20I'm sorry.
00:59:21I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:23I got no game.
00:59:37It's not important.
00:59:38Hey, um...
00:59:39Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:40No, no, no.
00:59:41I really need to talk to you.
00:59:42Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
00:59:43No, no, no.
00:59:44I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier, and I'm just embarrassed, and I wanna make
00:59:49it up to you.
00:59:50Eric, really?
00:59:51I don't care.
00:59:52It's fine.
00:59:53No, but I do.
00:59:54I mean, I do.
00:59:55I care.
00:59:56I haven't known how to tell you.
00:59:57Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
00:59:58But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.
01:00:01Soon.
01:00:02No, no, no.
01:00:03I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier, and I'm just embarrassed, and I wanna make
01:00:07it up to you.
01:00:08Eric, really?
01:00:09I don't care.
01:00:10It's fine.
01:00:11No, but I do.
01:00:12I mean, I do.
01:00:13I care.
01:00:15I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:17Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:20But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.
01:00:26Soon.
01:00:27Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while, and it would be nice to go out.
01:00:31Really?
01:00:32Eric, you're shy.
01:00:33You have no game.
01:00:35No, not really.
01:00:37Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:00:40Sorry.
01:00:44Okay.
01:00:45All right.
01:00:46I, uh...
01:00:49Happy birthday, then.
01:01:01I'm sorry.
01:01:02I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:11Wow.
01:01:18Here I come, baby.
01:01:19Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:28Oh.
01:01:29Eric, stop.
01:01:30Um, we can't do this.
01:01:31Oh, god damn it.
01:01:32Not again.
01:01:33Oh, no, um...
01:01:34Honey, happy...
01:01:35The fuck is this?
01:01:36Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:37Okay, guys.
01:01:38Don't.
01:01:39Cheryl.
01:01:40Baby.
01:01:41What is this?
01:01:42Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:43You're...
01:01:44I've been looking for you all night, and you've been...
01:01:45Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:46You couldn't find me?
01:01:47What about all those girls' vaginas you were in, or your penis getting sucked?
01:01:52Cheryl, honey.
01:01:53No, no.
01:01:54We can work this out.
01:01:55Baby, I love you.
01:01:56Jake, no.
01:01:57You have to go.
01:01:58Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:01:59I promise.
01:02:00No, Jake.
01:02:01I can't do this.
01:02:02I'm sorry.
01:02:03Cheryl, come on.
01:02:04No.
01:02:05Jake, please.
01:02:06Just go.
01:02:07Just go.
01:02:08I'm sorry.
01:02:09You're a heartless bitch.
01:02:10I'm sorry.
01:02:11You're a heartless bitch.
01:02:12I'm sorry.
01:02:13No, Jake.
01:02:14I can't do this.
01:02:15I'm sorry.
01:02:16Cheryl, come on.
01:02:17No.
01:02:18Jake, please.
01:02:19Just go.
01:02:20I can't do this.
01:02:21I'm sorry.
01:02:22You're a heartless bitch.
01:02:23How can you do it?
01:02:24Yay!
01:02:25You did it.
01:02:26I am so proud of you.
01:02:27You got your revenge sex.
01:02:29You left him in your shell of a man.
01:02:31Revenge sex?
01:02:33It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:36Right.
01:02:37That all makes sense now.
01:02:40Wow.
01:02:41I feel really stupid.
01:02:43Eric, I'm really, I'm really sorry.
01:02:46Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:49And he used me.
01:02:51Eric, please don't go.
01:02:53Please, Eric!
01:02:54Aren't you happy?
01:02:57Well, no.
01:02:59That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:03:01You mean the sex?
01:03:03Was it?
01:03:04Yeah?
01:03:05No, he didn't quite do it.
01:03:06Oh.
01:03:07You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:08Really?
01:03:09I just never found the right guy.
01:03:11Or guys.
01:03:12Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:03:15People are starting to leave.
01:03:16I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:18I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:31This is bullshit!
01:03:32God!
01:03:33Oh!
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:35Dude, suck it!
01:03:36What the?
01:03:37God, I'm out of here!
01:03:39Yeah!
01:03:40He has good hair, though.
01:03:42Don't you puke on me.
01:03:44Don't puke on my car, either.
01:03:46Right set, Frank, that I might need a vacation.
01:03:53Take this in the patient through your head.
01:03:58Oh Sue, are you alright?
01:04:01Was it from sex?
01:04:02Did you pop your cork?
01:04:03I don't think so.
01:04:05Not with the guy anyway.
01:04:07Oh, don't ask.
01:04:08I don't think so.
01:04:09Not with a guy, anyway.
01:04:11Oh, don't ask.
01:04:13Every possible object.
01:04:15It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:16It was like transformers.
01:04:19They just all became vibrators.
01:04:21I told you.
01:04:22It's addicting.
01:04:25So what about Chris?
01:04:27Well, last time I saw him, he was running away
01:04:28through your life.
01:04:29I told you he was gay.
01:04:31Well, I think I'm just, oh, cramp.
01:04:34Oh, I think it's broken.
01:04:38So wait, none of us cashed in our V card.
01:04:46Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:49So I was going to go grab some food.
01:04:50Can I go?
01:04:51No, thank you.
01:04:53I think I should finish up here.
01:04:55Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:57No.
01:04:59I don't know.
01:05:00For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:05:04Or something.
01:05:06Why?
01:05:06Do you know him?
01:05:08Sort of.
01:05:08Oh.
01:05:09Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:05:11tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:19Love him?
01:05:20Shut it.
01:05:21I don't want to hear it from you.
01:05:22I don't want to get married.
01:05:23You want to do it.
01:05:24All right, all right, all right, all right.
01:05:34Okay.
01:05:36Yeah, I do.
01:05:37No.
01:05:39I don't want to hear it.
01:05:40Here it is.
01:05:41Oh.
01:05:41I don't care how do you listen to me.
01:05:47No, I don't care how do I listen to me.
01:05:53I don't care how do I listen to me,
01:05:55but then I don't know how do I listen to me.
01:05:58I don't wish you this much alone butyself and everything is
01:06:00necessary.
01:06:01Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:06:31It's you.
01:06:34I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:06:38Joanna.
01:07:01And when the heat is on, you'll never take it away.
01:07:31And when the heat is on, you'll never take it away.
01:07:41Wow.
01:07:42That's amazing.
01:07:44Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:47I guess something inspired me.
01:07:50You really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:54Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:58Whose?
01:08:00Eric's.
01:08:01That's him, right?
01:08:04Oh.
01:08:06Yeah.
01:08:08I have to go see him.
01:08:10Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:16One nine hundred confess.
01:08:29Sister Terese?
01:08:31Yeah, hon.
01:08:32There was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:34I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:36Oh, sure.
01:08:37Oh.
01:08:38It's two seven one.
01:08:40Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:46Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:50Like, take you back?
01:08:52Sure, hon.
01:08:53Why not?
01:08:54As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:56Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:59I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:09:03Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:09:07Sister?
01:09:08Can I get up now?
01:09:10I really gotta pee.
01:09:11No!
01:09:12Hush your trap!
01:09:13Okay, honey.
01:09:14I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:09:18I will.
01:09:19Thanks.
01:09:24Sister?
01:09:25Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:41Eric, wait!
01:09:42Cheryl?
01:09:43Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:56I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:09:59At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:10:02I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:10:05The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:08Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:13And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:16I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:10:19and he's all over these-
01:10:20Eric!
01:10:21Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:24Oh, wow.
01:10:26Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:29Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:31Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:33Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:10:40Want to get back?
01:10:41Yeah, sure.
01:10:48Oh, sorry.
01:10:50No kissing, right.
01:10:51No, kissing.
01:10:52No, kissing.
01:10:53Oh.
01:10:54Mmm.
01:10:55Mmm.
01:10:56Mmm.
01:10:57Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:13I-I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:17Wait, what?
01:11:18I never did that.
01:11:19I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:22She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:24She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:30I wonder who it was.
01:11:33At least this birthday's over.
01:11:54Dear Lord, uh, please forgive me.
01:12:07I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:12:13Oh, man.
01:12:39Yeah, it's good.
01:12:41Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:48Yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to. It's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:55Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:13:00Oh, I don't know.
01:13:03Well, that's pretty powerful. Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:17Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on. I don't think so. But thanks.
01:13:24What's your name? Sue. What's yours? Jesus.
01:13:29Really? Si.
01:13:32Maybe I could use the ride.
01:14:02Maybe I could do things like that.
01:14:08Everybody loves Deriva.
01:14:10Yeah.
01:14:11Exactly.
01:14:11Wow.
Recommended
3:43:12
2:09:00
1:46:13
1:14:03