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Englishmovies Good Girls Gone Wild ReelShort New Drama 2025 shortfilm EnglishMovie cdrama drama engsub chinesedramaengsub movieshortfull
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Thank you very much.
00:00:30Oh, Dad.
00:00:35Hello?
00:00:36Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:39I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:43So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:47Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:00:57You know, I want to surprise him.
00:00:59What?
00:01:00But you can't.
00:01:01I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:04Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:06You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:10You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:12She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:21Come on, Lexi.
00:01:22So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:39Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:42But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:45I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:49But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:52So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:55Mushrooms?
00:01:56No, not like that.
00:01:57Like something nice.
00:01:59Like maybe a trip.
00:02:01Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:03No.
00:02:05Sorry, Sue.
00:02:06Sue, I have a date.
00:02:07Oh, so do I.
00:02:10Sorry, Sue.
00:02:11Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:12We'll figure it out.
00:02:13Oh, flowers, are these from you?
00:02:26Yeah, sure.
00:02:28Here you go.
00:02:30No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:33I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:36I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:41Oh, Jake.
00:02:43Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:49Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:02:50When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:53The best night of my life.
00:02:54It will be, I promise.
00:02:57It'll always be amazing.
00:02:58With you and me.
00:03:00Together.
00:03:08Jake, no.
00:03:09I have to go.
00:03:10I have to work on my art project.
00:03:11You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective, but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:17Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:21This Saturday?
00:03:22Of course.
00:03:27Thanks.
00:03:29Okay.
00:03:30Bye.
00:03:30Oh, baby.
00:03:42You're so hot.
00:03:43I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:45Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:46What was your name again?
00:03:47Rod.
00:03:48Sex God.
00:03:49Lexi is so upset she's speechless.
00:03:58You're right.
00:03:59I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:10Does not compute.
00:04:12Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:17Oh, huh.
00:04:18Hi.
00:04:21When did you get home?
00:04:22So, is it true?
00:04:23Yes, it is.
00:04:25It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:29I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy, and he has a really bright future ahead of
00:04:36him.
00:04:36So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:39Lexi, tell her.
00:04:40Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:44On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:46Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday, or maybe even, like, our 29th.
00:04:51Eight.
00:04:52Maybe.
00:04:54Listen, guys.
00:04:55I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:01I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:10But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:12We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:19It's not Jake.
00:05:21It's the male ideal.
00:05:22Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:05:27Right.
00:05:29Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:31I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:32I'm not really an artist.
00:05:33Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:36The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:39And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:41I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:43And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:44Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:51I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:54Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:03You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:06Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:12To church.
00:06:13To pray for you.
00:06:14I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting this in sleep.
00:06:18Yeah, me too.
00:06:28Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:30It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:32I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:34Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:06:45I mean, not me.
00:06:46I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:50I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:52Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:55But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:59But there was nothing there.
00:07:00Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:05My best friends.
00:07:07They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:09Okay.
00:07:11Third base.
00:07:12What?
00:07:13No.
00:07:14Like, sex.
00:07:15Like, intercourse?
00:07:17With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:19I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:20If you know what I mean.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:23Go all the way.
00:07:24Woody.
00:07:25Woody?
00:07:26What?
00:07:28Ah!
00:07:30How could you do this?
00:07:32You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:36What?
00:07:42Yes.
00:07:43Yes!
00:07:45Run!
00:07:45Run!
00:07:46Home run!
00:07:48Dammit!
00:07:51Fucking Yankees.
00:07:53Sorry.
00:08:17Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:21I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:22Geez.
00:08:24Can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:27I have an announcement to make.
00:08:29I want to do it.
00:08:31Do you hear me?
00:08:32I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend.
00:08:35On our birthday.
00:08:37Do what?
00:08:39It.
00:08:40Screw.
00:08:41You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:08:44You know, shagging.
00:08:46Fucking!
00:08:46King.
00:08:48You do.
00:08:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:55Oh, I got a sign.
00:08:56At church.
00:08:57Really?
00:08:59Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:03So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:07Right?
00:09:08Right.
00:09:11I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:20Hey, Frank!
00:09:22Hi, Sue.
00:09:24Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:26I don't know.
00:09:27Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:29Yeah.
00:09:29He's blind.
00:09:30Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:37Wait, wait, bye.
00:09:39Hey.
00:09:40Um, I was wondering.
00:09:41We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:44It's for our birthday.
00:09:45Do you want to come?
00:09:46Do you think he can see at me short?
00:09:47Sure.
00:09:56Well, the house looks done.
00:10:02Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:04We finally turn 18.
00:10:05And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:08Well, we better get our beady sleep
00:10:09because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:11So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:10:14Jake.
00:10:14And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:16But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:18To pop your chair.
00:10:19It's easy.
00:10:20I've known for the past six years,
00:10:22ever since catechism.
00:10:23What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:27I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:38My soulmate.
00:10:42Chris?
00:10:43Sue, you, um,
00:10:45might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:48I mean...
00:10:48What?
00:10:49No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar
00:10:52last year at camp.
00:10:53Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:54It's a sign.
00:10:56Sue, the only sign is that Chris
00:10:58has a major case of gay face.
00:11:01What?
00:11:02He does not.
00:11:03Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:05He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:07With a little bit of Zac Efron
00:11:09and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:11Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:16Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:19See you in the morning.
00:11:20See you in the morning.
00:11:23I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:30I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:30You're so weird.
00:11:40You're so perfect.
00:12:10I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:40Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:00Tomorrow's the rest of the day.
00:13:10Tomorrow's the rest of the day.
00:13:17Oh my gosh, they're coming.
00:13:33Lexi, Cheryl, hurry!
00:13:37Ew, why?
00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:42It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:43I'm gonna start.
00:13:44You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid.
00:13:49Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants.
00:13:51That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ.
00:13:55Can I wrap your mouth, too?
00:13:57Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:03A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:07Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:14:10Oh, what a cool bracelet!
00:14:16I love it!
00:14:18Um...
00:14:19You should put that down, though, because it's like...
00:14:21It's very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Okay.
00:14:24Set it down.
00:14:25Hurry up.
00:14:26Okay.
00:14:27Those were your anal beads, right?
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30I thought so.
00:14:31Um...
00:14:33Oh...
00:14:50Do youans forward thisè¡›?
00:14:51Oh, Jesus.
00:14:52Whoa!
00:14:54Oh, we gonna have some fun.
00:14:56Oh, Attack of the Wet T-shirts.
00:14:57Nice!
00:14:59Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on,
00:15:04come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on,
00:15:07happy birthday, Alex.
00:15:09Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:13That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:17And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:20Oh, how did you know?
00:15:22I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:29Poster, such a cutie.
00:15:32Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:34All right, sorry.
00:15:35Are you okay now?
00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:15:37Okay.
00:15:38See you later.
00:15:41I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:43This is crazy.
00:15:44Jake!
00:15:45Hi!
00:15:46Hey, babe.
00:15:48Happy birthday.
00:15:50Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:53What?
00:15:54You want a beer?
00:15:56No.
00:16:02Oh, hon.
00:16:03Yeah.
00:16:06I have your present here.
00:16:08I'll give it to you later.
00:16:09The time's right.
00:16:10Aw.
00:16:11You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:13And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:19Hey, bro.
00:16:21We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:23We'll bet.
00:16:24All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:25Hey.
00:16:26Hey.
00:16:27How you doing?
00:16:28Hey.
00:16:29Check it out.
00:16:30Dare me.
00:16:31What the fuck?
00:16:32What is it doing?
00:16:33Oh, my...
00:16:34What is it doing?
00:16:35Oh, my kiss!
00:16:40Yay,
00:16:53oh, my wieos.
00:16:53Oh, dude, look at those.
00:17:02Are those real?
00:17:03Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:04Hey!
00:17:05Dude, move!
00:17:06Come on, lame!
00:17:07Oh, all right.
00:17:08Okay.
00:17:09I'll see you guys later.
00:17:10Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:11Aw, the moves.
00:17:1220 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:16Yeah!
00:17:18They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:21Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:33Here, let me.
00:17:34Joanna, no.
00:17:34Just go enjoy the birdie.
00:17:36Come on.
00:17:38Open.
00:17:41Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:43I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:48Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:49I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:50He just, like, disappeared.
00:17:51Are these real?
00:18:04Of course they are.
00:18:07How come I think they're not in the book?
00:18:09I don't know.
00:18:10Maybe he's going to be around.
00:18:11Have you seen Jake?
00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:15Maybe upstairs.
00:18:16I don't know.
00:18:18Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:20That's probably where he went.
00:18:23Go roll.
00:18:26Liquid courage?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:28Atta girl.
00:18:29Oh.
00:18:32Vodka, cranberry?
00:18:33It's really simple.
00:18:34Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:38I gotta go meet her dad.
00:18:40Sue?
00:18:41Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:45They're just guys.
00:18:47Okay.
00:18:47Nothing to be scared of.
00:18:48Seriously.
00:18:49You're gonna be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:50Yeah.
00:18:56Wow.
00:18:56It's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:59No.
00:18:59He does not have gay face.
00:19:01I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:03I'm gonna do it.
00:19:09Wow.
00:19:09It's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:12No.
00:19:12He does not have gay face.
00:19:15I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:16I'm gonna do it.
00:19:17I'm gonna do this.
00:19:19Good luck.
00:19:22Hey.
00:19:22You can do this.
00:19:24Just act like a slut.
00:19:26Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:37Yeah, my favorite chapter is Solomon Galore.
00:19:41Chris.
00:19:42Hi.
00:19:43Can I talk to you?
00:19:45Uh-huh.
00:19:46Uh, in private?
00:19:48No.
00:19:48It's okay.
00:19:56Oh, hey, Lexi.
00:20:02Hey, Lexi.
00:20:03What?
00:20:04Chris.
00:20:06You're so sexy.
00:20:09Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:11I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:15And I really want to...
00:20:18Oh!
00:20:18What are you doing?
00:20:20Is that wrong?
00:20:20Sue!
00:20:21What's gotten into you?
00:20:23Nothing.
00:20:23I'm sorry.
00:20:24I don't know how to do this.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:28Sue.
00:20:29Sue.
00:20:29Sue.
00:20:31I understand these urges.
00:20:35And, you know, I like you, too.
00:20:39Really?
00:20:40You do?
00:20:40I do.
00:20:41I really do.
00:20:43I like you, too.
00:20:45Really?
00:20:46You do?
00:20:47I do.
00:20:48I really do.
00:20:49It's just...
00:20:50I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:56Right.
00:20:57Lexi said you were...
00:20:58Jesus.
00:20:59Oh.
00:21:00That man.
00:21:01Of course.
00:21:02What did you think?
00:21:04Oh, nothing.
00:21:05So we can still do this then?
00:21:08Oh, Sue.
00:21:10You know, for me, when I think about that man,
00:21:16who died for our sins,
00:21:18when I think about him up there on that cross,
00:21:22so helpless,
00:21:23yet so muscular,
00:21:27with his strong thighs crossed over each other
00:21:32so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth,
00:21:38growing so hot,
00:21:40so sweaty,
00:21:41beneath that hot,
00:21:42hot sun.
00:21:45I just feel such compassion.
00:21:48I think about those things, too.
00:21:50So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:54Not really.
00:21:56I just find it too hard.
00:21:57It is to give in to carnal pleasure
00:22:01when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:04It's so...
00:22:09We're going to go out there, right?
00:22:17Andy, we're going to tell you,
00:22:18don't even know.
00:22:19Hey, Ty.
00:22:20Whoa!
00:22:22Have you seen Jake?
00:22:24No.
00:22:24No.
00:22:25All right.
00:22:29Okay.
00:22:29All right, focus.
00:22:30Focus, focus.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:32Okay.
00:22:32Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:34Okay.
00:22:34Oh, there he is.
00:22:41Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:56How could he?
00:23:00Sue, what happened?
00:23:02Did you guys do it?
00:23:03Sue?
00:23:04Sue?
00:23:04He doesn't want me.
00:23:06Because he's gay.
00:23:08No, he's not.
00:23:09He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:11Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:13The only reason you even liked him
00:23:15is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:18Look, the only way you're going to find out
00:23:21what kind of man you really want
00:23:22is to know what kind of woman you really are
00:23:25deep inside.
00:23:27What?
00:23:28Come with me.
00:23:29Come with me.
00:23:30Where?
00:23:31To meet your dark side.
00:23:32Leave me.
00:23:35Out.
00:23:36Everyone out.
00:23:37Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face-to-face.
00:23:41Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face-to-face.
00:23:54I really can't.
00:24:05I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:07I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:10I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:13Sue?
00:24:15Can you see it?
00:24:18Sue?
00:24:19I'm almost there.
00:24:23What?
00:24:25What?
00:24:25Sue, what happened?
00:24:26What did you see?
00:24:27A raccoon?
00:24:29What?
00:24:30What?
00:24:32What happened?
00:24:34What did you see?
00:24:35A raccoon?
00:24:38Oh, my gosh.
00:24:41What?
00:24:43You overshot it. Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:52I can't. Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:55Okay, fine. Fine.
00:24:57I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:25:00What? You really need an orgasm.
00:25:04Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else
00:25:07when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:25:09This really has to be your first step.
00:25:11Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:13Coming.
00:25:14Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:16Just find it and use it.
00:25:19Wait, what does a black vibrator look like?
00:25:21It's black. It vibrates.
00:25:25Come on, Rod. Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:29Don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:41Hey, cutie! Cutie!
00:25:50Booseye!
00:25:55Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:25:59Good boy. Straighten up.
00:26:01Good boy. Good boy.
00:26:03He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:07I'm sorry. I can't see anything.
00:26:09That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:11What a bitch.
00:26:13Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:15Oh, shit.
00:26:30Oh, shit.
00:26:44What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:51Nice shot.
00:26:54Direct hit.
00:27:07Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:08Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:15For sure?
00:27:16I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:19so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:20That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag.
00:27:23How dare he?
00:27:24No, it's awful.
00:27:25I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:28Oh.
00:27:29It's a text. It's from him.
00:27:35I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:36Okay.
00:27:38He's looking for you.
00:27:39He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:42Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:44I have to go.
00:27:44I'm going.
00:27:45No, you can't just leave.
00:27:47Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:50I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:52No.
00:27:52He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:55Either way, it's bullshit.
00:27:57I see only one option.
00:28:00I'm leaving.
00:28:01Revenge sex.
00:28:02Re- I mean, what?
00:28:03What does that even mean?
00:28:04It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:28:07and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:11Revenge sex.
00:28:13Re- I mean, what?
00:28:14What does that even mean?
00:28:15It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:28:17and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:20But he- I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:22He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:23I mean, why would-
00:28:23He's just into other girls.
00:28:25Trust me, he'll care.
00:28:27Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him.
00:28:30To his ego.
00:28:31To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:35Especially if it's with someone smarter,
00:28:37better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:40No, I- I couldn't.
00:28:42Plus, I mean, there's-
00:28:43There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:46Eric!
00:28:47He's perfect!
00:28:48Eric Hall?
00:28:49Are you kidding?
00:28:50I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:28:53He makes your type.
00:28:54Really?
00:28:54And what type is that?
00:28:56He's bloody.
00:28:58Yeah.
00:28:59Trust me, he's amazing.
00:29:00I fooled around with him once.
00:29:01He has this great tongue, right?
00:29:03Oh, no.
00:29:04I could never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:29:07Okay, then.
00:29:08Fine.
00:29:08We will find someone else.
00:29:10Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:16Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:18I mean, it's-
00:29:19You're not gonna marry the guy.
00:29:20No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:23Fine.
00:29:23If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:28to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage,
00:29:31and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:29:33and you chose not to do it,
00:29:35go ahead.
00:29:36But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:39I don't know.
00:29:43But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:47I don't know.
00:29:49Trust me.
00:29:50It's going to work.
00:29:56I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:00Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:01Okay, enough to chat with her.
00:30:03Oh, no.
00:30:15Hey.
00:30:17Happy birthday.
00:30:19Thanks.
00:30:29Oh.
00:30:31Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:46So, happy birthday.
00:30:51Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:56But it's actually from us.
00:30:57U.S.
00:30:59America.
00:30:59America.
00:31:01United States.
00:31:03I know where we live.
00:31:04Right.
00:31:05Of course.
00:31:09I know where we live.
00:31:11Right.
00:31:12Of course.
00:31:17Hey, Jesus, Eric.
00:31:18Are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:20Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:21Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:31:22I just...
00:31:23No, you're fine.
00:31:24Jake!
00:31:24Jake!
00:31:25So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:41Oh, I'm sorry.
00:31:43It?
00:31:44What, um...
00:31:45It?
00:31:46Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:31:51Oh.
00:31:52Oh, you mean, like, uh, right now?
00:31:57I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:59You know, the sooner the better.
00:32:00Yeah, sure.
00:32:03I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:32:04Um, I just never realized that you...
00:32:07I mean...
00:32:09It's just...
00:32:14You're so...
00:32:16You're so beautiful.
00:32:19Okay.
00:32:19Um...
00:32:19Hmm?
00:32:21Uh, no cuisine.
00:32:23Right.
00:32:23Um, of course.
00:32:26Sorry.
00:32:29So, um...
00:32:30Do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:34Oh, wow.
00:32:34Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:39Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:41You're fresh.
00:32:45Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:47You, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:50Organic.
00:32:51Yep.
00:32:54So, the wrap.
00:32:55Right.
00:32:56Um...
00:32:57Uh, where's the, uh...
00:32:59It's, uh, the end is...
00:33:01I just, like, right over here.
00:33:02Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:33:02Yeah.
00:33:03I see it.
00:33:03Um, let me just, uh...
00:33:05Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:08Oh, sorry.
00:33:08Sorry, sorry.
00:33:09I, I...
00:33:10It's...
00:33:10It's okay.
00:33:11Do it again.
00:33:12Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:17You know what?
00:33:18Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:20Okay.
00:33:25Uh, let me just see.
00:33:29Oh, here it is.
00:33:30I got it.
00:33:31All right.
00:33:31It's, um, full of...
00:33:33Oh, let me just...
00:33:34Oh!
00:33:35Oh!
00:33:35Oh, jeez.
00:33:38Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:39You okay?
00:33:40Help!
00:33:40Help!
00:33:41Uh...
00:33:42Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:46Oh, jeez.
00:33:48Oh, jeez.
00:33:52Well, that was stupid.
00:33:55That was stupid.
00:33:58Yeah.
00:34:03How you doing tonight?
00:34:04Good.
00:34:05You having a good time?
00:34:06Yeah?
00:34:07You good?
00:34:07Jake!
00:34:08I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:11What?
00:34:12I can't hear you.
00:34:14I didn't have a beer.
00:34:16Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:17Jake!
00:34:18Sorry, we're...
00:34:18Upstairs.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:21Hold on.
00:34:22Take a piss.
00:34:23How much beer?
00:34:24Oh, jeez.
00:34:52Finally.
00:34:52I, uh, I'm going to just get the blinds.
00:34:56Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, don't worry about it.
00:34:59What?
00:35:01I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:05Oh.
00:35:07Well, OK.
00:35:08OK.
00:35:22I mean, I want you to get the blinds.
00:35:26Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:28Don't worry about it.
00:35:30What?
00:35:31I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:35Oh.
00:35:37Well, OK.
00:35:38OK.
00:35:52OK.
00:36:14Oh.
00:36:15Oh.
00:36:16Oh.
00:36:17Oh.
00:36:18Oh.
00:36:20Oh.
00:36:21Oh.
00:36:22Oh.
00:36:22What are you doing?
00:36:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:32Um, not yet.
00:36:34More foreplay.
00:36:35Huh?
00:36:35Oh.
00:36:42It's so good.
00:36:44Oh.
00:36:47Yep.
00:36:47Ow, my god.
00:36:49Draw, draw, draw.
00:36:51What?
00:36:51What, what?
00:36:52Ah, ah, oh.
00:36:54Ah, yeah.
00:36:56Lock, lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:57Is that even a thing?
00:36:59I don't know.
00:37:01Ah.
00:37:03Are you OK?
00:37:07No, no, no, no, no, it's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:09I'm just, uh, I'm embarrassed.
00:37:11I, it's probably TMJ or fracture, swollen.
00:37:18Are you sure you're OK?
00:37:20Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:21OK, great.
00:37:22Have fun.
00:37:22Oh.
00:37:28Now.
00:37:29Now, let's do it now.
00:37:30No, not yet, not yet.
00:37:34All right, I'm going to come.
00:37:35I'm going to come.
00:37:36Are you ready?
00:37:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:39No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:37:40Lexi, Lexi, oh.
00:37:41Shh.
00:37:42Oh.
00:37:46No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:37:47Lexi, Lexi, oh.
00:37:49Shh.
00:37:50Oh.
00:37:51No means no.
00:37:52Huh?
00:37:53Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:54I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:37:55It's been a really long time and I just, I haven't
00:37:57been masturbating for anything.
00:37:59Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:00How are you doing?
00:38:02How's it going?
00:38:03Good.
00:38:04Eric?
00:38:05Come.
00:38:06Eric, help me.
00:38:07I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:08Excuse me.
00:38:11Cheryl's in here.
00:38:26What's up, bro?
00:38:27What's up, bro?
00:38:29What the fuck is, I'm sorry.
00:38:32Hey, wait.
00:38:34Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:38:42Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see, I'm blind.
00:38:46Damn it.
00:38:47I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch.
00:38:50Hey, you.
00:38:52You better stop making fun of the blind,
00:38:54or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:56I'm so sorry.
00:38:59I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:02Aah!
00:39:04Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:39:28This party's ass.
00:39:32Yeah.
00:39:34Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:39:37This just isn't working on it.
00:39:40Nothing.
00:39:41It's the big deal about these vibrators anyway.
00:39:43Lock your character, man, lock sticks.
00:39:48Spark it up.
00:39:49All right.
00:39:50Yes.
00:39:53Oh, man.
00:39:54I love this game.
00:39:55We're in the controllers.
00:39:56We got to play.
00:39:57Here, here, here.
00:39:58OK, let me find another one.
00:39:59All right, watch on.
00:40:02Woo!
00:40:03Whoa.
00:40:04Look at this.
00:40:05Oh, my God.
00:40:07Pew, pew, pew.
00:40:08Whoa, man.
00:40:09Get that thing away.
00:40:10Jesus.
00:40:11Aw.
00:40:13Hey, dude.
00:40:14Nice shot.
00:40:15Was it me?
00:40:17Whoa, whoa, whoa, nice.
00:40:19Nice.
00:40:20Are you sitting on there or something?
00:40:21Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:22Nice.
00:40:23Nice.
00:40:24Nice.
00:40:25Nice.
00:40:26Nice.
00:40:27Nice.
00:40:28Are you sitting on there or something?
00:40:32Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:33Nice.
00:40:34Nice.
00:40:34Nice.
00:40:46Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:47Whoa.
00:40:59You are the controller.
00:41:01No, I just, I didn't, I swear, I,
00:41:06All right.
00:41:06All right.
00:41:07All right.
00:41:08Hey, don't leave.
00:41:09Hey, Sue.
00:41:10What are you doing, man?
00:41:11It's OK.
00:41:12Hey, Sue.
00:41:13Hey, Sue.
00:41:14Hey, Sue.
00:41:15Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:16Yeah, I just needed to, um.
00:41:18Oh.
00:41:19Oh.
00:41:20Oh.
00:41:21Oh.
00:41:22Oh.
00:41:23Oh.
00:41:24Oh.
00:41:25Oh.
00:41:26Oh.
00:41:27Oh.
00:41:28Oh.
00:41:29Oh.
00:41:30Oh.
00:41:31Oh.
00:41:32Oh.
00:41:33Oh.
00:41:34Oh.
00:41:35Oh.
00:41:36Oh.
00:41:37Oh.
00:41:38Oh.
00:41:39Oh.
00:41:40Oh.
00:41:41Oh.
00:41:42Oh.
00:41:43Oh.
00:41:44Oh.
00:41:45Oh.
00:41:45Oh.
00:41:46What?
00:41:47Oh.
00:41:48You saw earlier.
00:41:49You were?
00:41:51You mean.
00:41:52Yeah.
00:41:54So, you think we should give it a try?
00:41:57Can we go get a drink?
00:42:01Wow, um.
00:42:02You're toilet's really?
00:42:04Well, huh.
00:42:05You, you know what?
00:42:06I gotta, you know what?
00:42:09I gotta go.
00:42:10Happy birthday.
00:42:11Uh.
00:42:12No.
00:42:13ifi reality.
00:42:13I didn't, oh God, nevermind.
00:42:15I'll be the one, it's the end of the world, plastic, plastic, plastic, I'll be the one.
00:42:25This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:28Never going to have sex.
00:42:30Ow.
00:42:45Hello, a little attention here.
00:42:52Oh yeah, sorry.
00:42:59Lex, don't be selfish.
00:43:01Oh right, sorry.
00:43:15Ugh, jeez.
00:43:17Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:43:20Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:22Screw it.
00:43:45No, that was bad.
00:44:05That was so bad.
00:44:08Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:23I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:28Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:33Yes, it does.
00:44:35So you're JJ?
00:44:37Uh-oh.
00:45:00Hello.
00:45:01Welcome to 1900 Confess.
00:45:03Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:05A nun.
00:45:06Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:13Please hold.
00:45:14Oh, thank goodness.
00:45:191900 Confession, how may I be of service?
00:45:21It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:24I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:26One day?
00:45:27Ow!
00:45:28Is that too long?
00:45:29I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:30Go on.
00:45:31Um, okay.
00:45:32Well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:33Well, actually, I didn't know.
00:45:34A washing machine.
00:45:35What's her problem?
00:45:36A washing machine touched her.
00:45:39Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well.
00:45:40All right, freak.
00:45:41Time's up.
00:45:42What?
00:45:43But what do I do?
00:45:44Just unplug the thing.
00:45:45No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:45:47Well, then be happy.
00:45:49You found the perfect man.
00:45:50I'm serious.
00:45:51Look, honey.
00:45:52You seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.
00:45:56Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:45:57No contritions?
00:45:58You broke no covenant with God.
00:45:59It's not in the Bible.
00:46:00So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:02Like morning, morning, morning, morning, morning, morning, morning, morning, morning,
00:46:06morning, morning, morning, morning, morning, morning, morning, morning, morning, morning,
00:46:11morning.
00:46:12Yes.
00:46:13And other things can touch you.
00:46:14Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:16Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:17Huh.
00:46:18God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:19He sure is.
00:46:20Now run along.
00:46:21I'll tell you this.
00:46:22I'll tell you this.
00:46:23Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:24No contritions?
00:46:25You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:26It's not in the Bible.
00:46:27So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:28Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:30Yes.
00:46:31And other things can touch you.
00:46:32Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:34Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:37Huh.
00:46:38God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:39He sure is.
00:46:40Now run along.
00:46:44Wow.
00:46:45How do you know all that?
00:46:47Because I'm a nun.
00:46:49Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:51Huh.
00:46:52Accidental masturbation.
00:46:54Who would've think?
00:47:04Revenge sex.
00:47:05What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:07God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:11Yeah, admit it.
00:47:12I've got no game.
00:47:13I guess I can skate with your lady.
00:47:15I guess I'm a beautiful man.
00:47:20Fucking douchebag.
00:47:22Damn it.
00:47:23Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:26You go, girl.
00:47:27What?
00:47:28What?
00:47:31What are you doing here?
00:47:33We needed someplace private.
00:47:35But hey, listen.
00:47:36If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:38Yeah?
00:47:39If you want someone great.
00:47:40I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:44No offense.
00:47:46Frank.
00:47:47The blind guy.
00:47:48Really?
00:47:49I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:52I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:54It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:58It was like we used all our senses.
00:48:00Everything.
00:48:04If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:07All right.
00:48:14What about him?
00:48:15Jeremy.
00:48:17Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:48:18Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:21I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:23It's Jones.
00:48:25Jeremy Jones.
00:48:27This all makes sense.
00:48:28Excuse me.
00:48:30Jeremy.
00:48:32Hi.
00:48:33Who was on the phone?
00:48:34Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:36You'll meet her.
00:48:37I'll come here in like an hour.
00:48:38Wait.
00:48:39You have a girlfriend?
00:48:53Oh.
00:48:55Hey, Frank.
00:48:56Sit.
00:49:01Oh, you meant, you meant the dog.
00:49:05Relax.
00:49:07You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:19Oh, I'm, I'm relaxed. I'm fine.
00:49:21Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:23I'm not.
00:49:27How did you know that?
00:49:30Corner.
00:49:31Sit.
00:49:33Roll over.
00:49:37Roll over.
00:49:41Oh, you mean me.
00:49:44Roll over.
00:49:48Oh, you mean me.
00:49:50Oh, how do you, how do you want me to...
00:49:53Just lay down.
00:49:54Oh.
00:50:04Oh.
00:50:05Oh.
00:50:06I shouldn't even be doing this, but considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:10Okay.
00:50:14Oh.
00:50:17See me with your hands.
00:50:18All right.
00:50:22All right.
00:50:23Uh.
00:50:30You know, I should really, I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:33Really.
00:50:34Oh.
00:50:35Oh.
00:50:37Oh.
00:50:46Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:47peanut butter.
00:51:02Frank, Frank.
00:51:04Oh.
00:51:07Oh, Frank.
00:51:17Oh.
00:51:18You know what I mean?
00:51:19Give me a chip.
00:51:23My chips old boy.
00:51:24Give me a chip, man.
00:51:25My chips.
00:51:26Dude.
00:51:27Give me a chip.
00:51:28My chips.
00:51:29Oh.
00:51:30My chips.
00:51:31Give me a chip.
00:51:32My chips.
00:51:33Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:34My chips, old boy.
00:51:36Oh, give me a two, man.
00:51:37My chips.
00:51:38Oh, my chips.
00:51:39Give me a two.
00:51:41My chips?
00:51:43Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:46Sorry.
00:51:54It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:57That's all.
00:52:01I don't want you to do this.
00:52:03Go ahead.
00:52:03I got it.
00:52:04I got it.
00:52:05No, really, please.
00:52:05I want to help.
00:52:09Okay, everybody out.
00:52:12Leave.
00:52:12I have to back you.
00:52:26You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:27They're over here.
00:52:29I see some dust over here, so...
00:52:32There's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:38This is a dirty floor.
00:52:40Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:45I think I got all that.
00:52:45I'm just gonna...
00:52:55I'll see you.
00:52:58I think I got all that.
00:53:07I think I got all that.
00:53:07I'm just gonna...
00:53:08I'll see you.
00:53:10Oh.
00:53:10Frankie.
00:53:21Oh, my...
00:53:22Oh.
00:53:22What was that?
00:53:23What?
00:53:23What?
00:53:24Oh, shit.
00:53:25Oh, man.
00:53:26We gotta smoke.
00:53:27Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:53:30Stop.
00:53:31Frank.
00:53:31Stop teasing Frank.
00:53:34Oh, shit.
00:53:34Oh, sorry, man.
00:53:36We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:38Oh, I heard something.
00:53:39You want to join us?
00:53:40Uh...
00:53:41No, I might...
00:53:41Come on!
00:53:42You gotta do it!
00:53:43Come on!
00:53:44Seriously, guys.
00:53:45I need to...
00:53:45What's your dog, man?
00:53:46Dude!
00:53:46What's it like being blinded?
00:53:47It's tripping.
00:53:52Frank?
00:53:54Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:58Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:02Thanks, man.
00:54:03Oh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:05I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:06Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:09Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:10I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:15Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:16This is some good shit.
00:54:35Oh, no.
00:54:37You're the devil.
00:54:38No more.
00:54:39JJ, I'm...
00:54:43Jeremy, you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:48Please.
00:54:49Lex, I can't.
00:54:52I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:53I really like this girl.
00:54:55Fine.
00:54:55It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra, and I also have on crotchless panties with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:09We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:14We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:17Perfect.
00:55:21Before she gets here.
00:55:22Perfect.
00:55:23Do it.
00:55:24Let's do it.
00:55:25Let's do it.
00:55:26Let's do it.
00:55:27Let's do it.
00:55:28Fuck me.
00:55:29Fuck me now.
00:55:30What?
00:55:31What's wrong?
00:55:31I can't.
00:55:32I can't.
00:55:33I can't get it in.
00:55:35Try down there.
00:55:36It's like desert down there.
00:55:37It's sandpaper.
00:55:38Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:39Just try it again.
00:55:40No.
00:55:41Why is this happening?
00:55:42We've fooled around before.
00:55:43I was dripping wet.
00:55:44I came like four times, remember?
00:55:45Just do what you did then.
00:55:46Go on.
00:55:47I already did my thing.
00:55:48I already tried.
00:55:49I already tried.
00:55:50What?
00:55:51What?
00:55:52What?
00:55:53What?
00:55:54What's wrong?
00:55:55I can't.
00:55:56I can't.
00:55:57I can't get it in.
00:55:58Just try down there.
00:55:59It's like desert down there.
00:56:00It's sandpaper.
00:56:01Okay, I get the picture.
00:56:02Just try it again.
00:56:03No.
00:56:04Why is this happening?
00:56:05We fooled around before.
00:56:06I was dripping wet.
00:56:07I already tried.
00:56:08What?
00:56:09What?
00:56:10What is different this time?
00:56:12I don't know.
00:56:14Last time...
00:56:17I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:20What?
00:56:21You're not JJ?
00:56:23But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:25How can you not be JJ?
00:56:27Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:30Where are you going?
00:56:32We're not done here.
00:56:33I can still do this.
00:56:34I just need a little bit of work.
00:56:35Why?
00:56:36I can do this.
00:56:37I don't need JJ.
00:56:38I don't need anyone else.
00:56:39We can do this.
00:56:41Go team.
00:56:42What?
00:56:43Just keep going.
00:56:44Jeremy?
00:56:45I can do this.
00:56:46I don't need JJ.
00:56:47I don't need anyone else.
00:56:48We can do this.
00:56:49Go team.
00:56:50What?
00:56:51Just keep going.
00:56:52Jeremy!
00:56:53Are you-
00:56:54Shit!
00:56:56Jeremy!
00:57:04Where's Jeremy?
00:57:06Uh, we were just, you know-
00:57:09Hey babe, just working out!
00:57:15How could you, you bastard!
00:57:18You might wanna-
00:57:22What?
00:57:24What?
00:57:27Ah!
00:57:28Mariela!
00:57:30Mariela!
00:57:31You know those aren't mine!
00:57:33At least not all of them.
00:57:36What is wrong with you?
00:57:41What is wrong with you?
00:57:44You used to be so pure.
00:57:46Well no more, that's it.
00:57:48Really, that's the last one.
00:57:53Oop!
00:57:54Shhh!
00:58:00No!
00:58:01No!
00:58:03No!
00:58:04No!
00:58:05No!
00:58:06No!
00:58:07No!
00:58:08No!
00:58:09No!
00:58:10No!
00:58:11No!
00:58:12No!
00:58:13No!
00:58:14No!
00:58:15Yeah!
00:58:16No!
00:58:17No!
00:58:18No!
00:58:19No!
00:58:20No!
00:58:21No!
00:58:23No!
00:58:24No!
00:58:26No!
00:58:27No!
00:58:28What is it?
00:58:29What are you doing down here?
00:58:31I'm waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:32What?
00:58:33Why?
00:58:35Nothing!
00:58:36dog and ugh. Honey, it's gonna be okay. No, it's not okay. God. And you know whose fault it is? I'm sorry. It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That blind cheating bastard. Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him. Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday. And where is he anyway? Like, why isn't he hanging out with me? You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind. Yeah.
00:59:06A big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it. Yeah. You know, you might want to... You need to look hot while you break up with him. Yeah, you're right. Why am I wearing a sheet? No. I'm sorry. I get shy around beautiful women like you. I got no game.
00:59:36It's not important.
00:59:54Hey, um... Eric, I can't talk right now. No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
00:59:58Really, Eric, I can't right now. No, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier. And I'm just embarrassed. And I want to make it up to you. Eric, really? I don't care. It's fine.
01:00:11No, but I do. I mean, I do. I care. I haven't known how to tell you. Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy. But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime. Soon. Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while. And it would be nice to go out.
01:00:31Really? Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game. No, not really. Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:00:44Okay. All right. I, uh... Happy birthday, then.
01:01:01Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:11Wow.
01:01:23Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:27Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:01:32Oh, God damn it. Not again.
01:01:34Oh, no, um...
01:01:35Honey, happy...
01:01:38What the fuck is this? Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:41Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:46Cheryl. Baby. What is this?
01:01:49Oh, gee, Cheryl. You're...
01:01:53I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:01:56Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:58You couldn't find me?
01:02:00What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:05Cheryl, honey.
01:02:06No, no.
01:02:07We can work this out.
01:02:08Baby, I love you.
01:02:10Jake, no. You have to go.
01:02:11Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please. I promise.
01:02:14No, Jake. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:02:16Cheryl, come on.
01:02:17No, Jake, please. Just go. Just go. I'm sorry.
01:02:21You're a harmless bitch!
01:02:22How can you do...
01:02:24Yay! You did it.
01:02:26I am so proud of you.
01:02:27You got your revenge sex.
01:02:28You've left him in your shell of a man.
01:02:30Revenge sex?
01:02:33It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:36Right.
01:02:38That all makes sense now.
01:02:41Wow. I feel really stupid.
01:02:44Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:02:47Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:50And you used me.
01:02:52Eric, please don't go. Please, Eric!
01:02:56Aren't you happy?
01:02:58Well, no. That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:03:02You mean the sex? Was it...
01:03:04No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:07You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:09Really?
01:03:10I think we found the right guy.
01:03:11Or guys.
01:03:13Anyway.
01:03:14We better get downstairs.
01:03:15People are starting to leave.
01:03:17I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:18I can't believe she dumped me, man. This is bullshit!
01:03:32God!
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:36Suck it!
01:03:38God, I'm outta here!
01:03:39Yeah!
01:03:41He has good hair, though.
01:03:46Don't you puke on me.
01:03:48Don't puke on my car, either.
01:04:02Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:04:04Was it from sex? Did you pop your cork?
01:04:07I don't think so.
01:04:09Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:11Oh, don't ask.
01:04:13Every possible object.
01:04:15It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:17It was like... transformers.
01:04:19They just all became vibrators.
01:04:21I told you.
01:04:23It's addicting.
01:04:25So what about Chris?
01:04:27Well, last time I saw him, he was running away through your life.
01:04:29I told you he was gay.
01:04:31Well, I think I'm just...
01:04:33cramp.
01:04:36Oh, I think it's broken.
01:04:38So wait.
01:04:40None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:46Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:49So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:04:51Can I go?
01:04:52No, thank you.
01:04:54I think I should finish up here.
01:04:56Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:58No.
01:05:00I don't know, for some reason I just realized
01:05:01he needs to be my first.
01:05:04Or something.
01:05:06Why, do you know him?
01:05:08Sort of.
01:05:09Oh.
01:05:10Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:05:11just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:12Leave everything.
01:05:19Love him.
01:05:20Shut it.
01:05:21You wanna do it?
01:05:22I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:05:23I wanna get married.
01:05:24You wanna do it?
01:05:25All right, all right, all right.
01:05:26No.
01:05:27No way.
01:05:28Um, no, no way.
01:05:58Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:06:25It's you.
01:06:32I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:06:39Joanna.
01:06:55I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:07:02I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:07:09I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:07:16I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:07:23I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:07:30I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:07:37I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:07:40Wow.
01:07:41That's amazing.
01:07:44Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:47I guess something inspired me.
01:07:50He really captured his expression in his eyes.
01:07:53Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:58Who's?
01:07:59Eric's.
01:08:00Well, it's him, right?
01:08:03Oh.
01:08:05Yeah.
01:08:07I have to go see him.
01:08:09Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:151-900 confess.
01:08:29Sister Terese?
01:08:31Yeah, hon.
01:08:32There was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:34I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:36Oh, sure.
01:08:38It's 271.
01:08:41Sister, I know this isn't a confession,
01:08:43but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:46Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:50Like, take you back?
01:08:52Sure, hon.
01:08:53Why not?
01:08:54As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:57Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:59I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:09:03Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:09:07Sister, can I get up now?
01:09:10I really gotta pee.
01:09:12No!
01:09:13Hush your trap!
01:09:15Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work,
01:09:18but call back any time.
01:09:20I will.
01:09:21Thanks.
01:09:25Sister?
01:09:26Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:29Eric, wait!
01:09:45Cheryl?
01:09:46Eric, um...
01:09:48Look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:56I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:09:58At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:10:01I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:10:04The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:07Um...
01:10:09I...
01:10:10I do want to go out with you.
01:10:13And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:16I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:10:18and he's all over these pink...
01:10:20Eric!
01:10:21Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:23Oh.
01:10:24Wow.
01:10:25Um, Cheryl.
01:10:26Uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:28Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:30Hi!
01:10:31Nice to meet you.
01:10:34Uh...
01:10:35So, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:10:40When I get back?
01:10:41Yeah.
01:10:42Sure.
01:10:48Oh.
01:10:49Sorry.
01:10:50No kissing, right?
01:10:51No.
01:10:52Kissing.
01:10:53Oh.
01:10:54Mmm.
01:10:55Mmm.
01:10:56Mmm.
01:10:57Mmm.
01:10:58Mmm.
01:10:59Mmm.
01:11:00Mmm.
01:11:01Mmm.
01:11:02Mmm.
01:11:03Mmm.
01:11:09Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:14I-I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:17Wait, what?
01:11:18I never did that.
01:11:20I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:22She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:28She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:30What?
01:11:31I wonder who it was.
01:11:32I wonder who it was.
01:11:33I don't know who it was, but, oh, why the osti was told...
01:11:35I love myoure!
01:11:36I don't be sure if I love my pleasure...
01:11:50At least this birthday's over.
01:12:05Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:08I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like send me a sign.
01:12:20Excuse me, excuse me.
01:12:44Do you know where the church is?
01:12:46It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:47Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:12:51Or used to go to.
01:12:52Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:58You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:13:00Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:09Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:12Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:17Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:21I don't think so.
01:13:23But thanks.
01:13:24What's your name?
01:13:25Sue.
01:13:26What's yours?
01:13:27Jesus.
01:13:29Really?
01:13:31Si.
01:13:34Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:35Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:53Maybe.
01:13:54I'm a littleрет.
01:13:55It's always a little better.
01:13:58Let's do it.
01:13:59Oh.
01:14:01I've got it.
01:14:02I'll have to go on.
01:14:03Bye.
01:14:03Bye.
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