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  • 7/17/2025
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Transcript
00:00:00There's a rumor going around that Trevor Holt has the biggest you-know-what in school and here
00:00:18he is standing outside my dorm room naked. Out of the way! What are you doing? Look I'll explain later
00:00:28please don't tell her that I'm here. Tell who? Trevor? Please what's your name again? Martha!
00:00:33Trevor where the hell are you? Please Martha she's psycho. She's psycho? You're literally hiding under my bed naked.
00:00:40Look I'll owe you one okay just get rid of her and I'll do anything. Okay I'm just tucking your head. Thank you.
00:00:47Where is he? Where is who? Trevor. I saw him running this way. Gosh I don't know anyone named Trevor.
00:00:56Trevor Holt. Football player. Huge. No doesn't ring any balls. I mean bells. You're lying.
00:01:05Everybody knows who Trevor Holt is. Even girls like you.
00:01:11I haven't seen him. Also you've got a little. I'm watching you.
00:01:18Granny panties? Seriously? How many of those boner killers do you own? None of your business. Cover up.
00:01:33No thanks for handling that Tilla situation. She's become a bit of an issue. Why did she ask for something like commitment?
00:01:41Oh actually she's my buddy's ex-girlfriend. I don't like her like that. She doesn't get the hint.
00:01:46She jumped me in the shower. I'm sorry I didn't. Anyway. What'll it be? Huh?
00:01:52I said I owed you one. I'm a man of my word.
00:02:00This is my chance. A favor from Trevor Holt. And he has the one thing I truly want.
00:02:06What can I do you for Martha? Drew Longhorn. Drew Longhorn? Yeah. Drew Longhorn.
00:02:12What about Drew Longhorn? I want to kiss Drew Longhorn.
00:02:17Sorry. Why do you want to kiss Drew Longhorn? He was my lab partner freshman year. We had
00:02:25chemistry. You had chemistry. Yes. Okay. You want his attention? Then we'll get his attention. But
00:02:35not in that. The guys like Drew they only go for one kind of girl and it's not. Forget it.
00:02:40Hey. No. Let's just forget the whole thing. Hey. I'm an ass. Okay. I just meant that this stuff doesn't
00:02:47play up your assets. You know? You're really pretty. We need to show it. You're messing with me. I'm not.
00:02:54I swear. You're just going to have to trust me.
00:03:01Okay. First, you show up at the party with me. Everyone's going to notice when you're on my arm.
00:03:05And second, we need to go shopping. Shopping.
00:03:10One, two, three, four, go!
00:03:13One, two, three, four, go!
00:03:23Ta-da. Where did you get all this?
00:03:25That was my one-night stand box. Go on. Take your pick. That was my one-night stand box.
00:03:32Go on. Take your pick.
00:03:33No, thank you. I'm not parading around in your hookup trophies.
00:03:39What? These aren't trophies. These are just clothes that have been forgotten.
00:03:44It's also the kind of stuff that'll attract a guy like Drew Longhorn. So.
00:03:48I'm not wearing someone else's sex panties.
00:03:51I can 100% guarantee that the act of sex did not happen while the panties were being worn by the girl.
00:03:56No. Come on, Martha. This stuff's hot. Come on. Just wear it. Trust me. I've worn it.
00:04:06I haven't worn it. I lied. I've always wanted to wear something sexy like that.
00:04:10I just never had the guts. Turn around.
00:04:15Are your eyes closed? Oh yeah. Totally.
00:04:26Okay. Turn around.
00:04:39Wow. Trevor!
00:04:42What? There's nothing you haven't seen before.
00:04:44Just get dressed, please.
00:04:45And as you can tell, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
00:04:47Well, I have nothing to compare it to, so I wouldn't know, would I?
00:04:50Oh my god. Did I just tell Trevor Holt that I'm a virgin?
00:05:00No. I'm not doing this.
00:05:11Okay. I guess I'm doing this?
00:05:13All right. There's three things I need you to remember, okay? Three simple tricks to get any
00:05:23man's attention. You listening?
00:05:25Yep.
00:05:25Okay. One, eye contact. Not like that. And two, you need to smile at him.
00:05:35Oh, come on. This is serious.
00:05:36I'm very serious.
00:05:38All right. And three, find a casual way to touch him. You know, quick hand on the arm. You know,
00:05:43brush it on his bicep. You know, he'll know what game you're playing if you do that.
00:05:46Why does that have to be a game?
00:05:49Because this is Drew Longhorn we're talking about here, okay? All he does is play games.
00:05:58You ready?
00:06:02Thank you for your help, Trevor.
00:06:03Wow. That was really good. I think you might actually pull this off.
00:06:10I spoke too soon. I got it.
00:06:13Thanks.
00:06:28Hey everyone! This is my girlfriend, Martha.
00:06:31He's kidding everyone. We're just friends.
00:06:35Oh, Marmar, stop being so coy. We're in love.
00:06:39What the hell is wrong with you?
00:06:40Just trust me. If Drew thinks we're together, it'll pique his interest.
00:06:43Yeah, but if Drew thinks I'm taken, he won't ask me out.
00:06:46It's better if Drew thinks you're with someone. Especially if that someone is me.
00:06:50Who's gonna believe this anyway? Have you ever even had a girlfriend?
00:06:55No. Guys like me don't like commitment, remember?
00:06:57Trev, what's up, man?
00:07:01I see you brought a friend.
00:07:05Yeah, this is a-
00:07:06You look familiar. Have we met?
00:07:08Yeah, we had chemistry. We had science class. We were lab partners.
00:07:14Oh yeah. That class was such a joke, am I right?
00:07:17Yeah, definitely. Total joke. But I enjoyed working with you.
00:07:24One second. Two seconds. Got him.
00:07:29What did you say your name was again?
00:07:31Her name is Martha.
00:07:35Nice meeting you, Martha.
00:07:37Well, hey guys, we're playing a game of Drink or Dare in the next room.
00:07:40You care to join?
00:07:41Sure.
00:07:41No.
00:07:43Sweet. See you there.
00:07:45That was good, right?
00:07:49Have you played Drink or Dare before?
00:07:51No, but how hard can it be about this?
00:08:01Oh girl, your girlfriend's here.
00:08:04So what?
00:08:04So she's gonna know I lied to her.
00:08:07So? Just ignore her.
00:08:09My turn.
00:08:10Tilla.
00:08:11Drink or Dare?
00:08:12I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:15Drink.
00:08:16I want you to drink with...
00:08:20Trevor.
00:08:21Okay.
00:08:23I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:26Drink.
00:08:27I want you to drink with...
00:08:31Trevor.
00:08:32Okay.
00:08:32I want you to drink with...
00:08:37Open up.
00:08:57Yum.
00:08:59Okay, my turn.
00:09:00You.
00:09:02Drink or Dare?
00:09:04Uh, Dare.
00:09:08Okay.
00:09:10I dare you to take off your panties and put them in the middle of the circle for the rest of the game.
00:09:18Hello?
00:09:19What are you waiting for?
00:09:21You don't have to do this.
00:09:22Yes, she does.
00:09:24Um, unfortunately I can't do that to Lila.
00:09:28Because I'm not wearing any.
00:09:35You're up next, Martha.
00:09:37Drew.
00:09:38Drink or Dare?
00:09:40Drink.
00:09:42I want you to drink with me.
00:09:46My pleasure.
00:09:47This is my chance.
00:09:49Drink.
00:09:50To do what I've been dreaming about since freshman year.
00:10:07Oh, my God.
00:10:10You're such a crazy little guy.
00:10:12I'm pregnant for that, I'm pregnant.
00:10:12Oh, my God.
00:10:14Yeah!
00:10:14Oh, my God.
00:10:16I'm pregnant.
00:10:16I'm pregnant.
00:10:17I'm pregnant.
00:10:18I should be happy this is what I've always wanted but that was hot yeah I hope I didn't
00:10:31make things weird between you two no it's fine I always wondered what happened to you after that
00:10:37class never saw you around I've seen drew roughly 83 times since that class ended yeah me too I'd
00:10:46love to hang out sometime yeah I'd like that great give me your number I just sent you a special message
00:10:58let me know when you get it Trev has my phone I'll be right back okay who's next Trevor
00:11:16oh sorry Trevor
00:11:21you win Tilla James you win
00:11:37you okay
00:11:51I'm leaving you can stay I just need my phone
00:11:58your advice didn't work just so you know it's probably for the best you two never would have
00:12:13worked out and why is that Trevor is he too hot for me too popular or is it just pathetically obvious
00:12:23that I'm a frumpy nerd in a stolen sex dress no to all three you want to know my three reasons not
00:12:32particularly one he's a douche two you're not a douche you're doing great so far three you guys had zero
00:12:40chemistry that kiss was a hot mess and I could tell you weren't that into it so
00:12:46you're right
00:12:50it was kind of terrible
00:12:54oh but that look on Tilla's face when you told her you weren't wearing any panties
00:12:58all priceless how do you do it do what hide your emotions they're just so easy to read
00:13:11I noticed I'm serious Trevor what's your secret I want to learn how to not care about anything like
00:13:19you do there is no secret it's just who I am right oh and before I forget
00:13:29tonight wasn't what I expected but
00:13:49thank you
00:13:50oh you don't have to thank me I owed you one I guess I missed that
00:13:57no I'm glad you knocked on my door
00:13:59oh even after everything that happened tonight
00:14:02yeah because even though it was kind of awful I got my first kiss
00:14:07I'm gonna go
00:14:10good night Trevor
00:14:13that wasn't a first kiss
00:14:40and there it was the thing I had been looking for
00:14:58chemistry between Trevor the guy with the biggest you know what on campus
00:15:05and me the virgin
00:15:09rumor has it that every girl on campus wants Drew Longhorn
00:15:21every girl except me because after last week I could not be more over Drew
00:15:31Martha mind if I join you
00:15:34so where did you run off to after the party on Saturday
00:15:39I had to go home to study I have a big test coming up what are you up to later
00:15:45probably more studying
00:15:46why
00:15:49the wet party
00:15:50the wet party
00:15:54it's only the most exclusive frat party on campus so of course I've never been invited
00:16:01what about it
00:16:03you in
00:16:05I've never even wanted to go to a party like this before
00:16:08but it could be the perfect way to get over
00:16:11wait
00:16:12is Trevor gonna be there
00:16:14is Trevor gonna be there
00:16:15hold
00:16:16nah
00:16:17he's been ghosting me
00:16:19think he's out
00:16:19then I'm in
00:16:20excellent
00:16:21oh
00:16:24and bring a friend
00:16:25a female friend
00:16:28what are those
00:16:32guess who just got us tickets to
00:16:34the wet party
00:16:35since when do you find frat parties fun
00:16:40I just wanted to try something different
00:16:42like being drooled over by a bunch of chauvinist douchebags
00:16:45maybe
00:16:45does this have anything to do with Trevor Holt
00:16:50no
00:16:50yes
00:16:52okay
00:16:53I just keep playing the night over and over in my head
00:16:56trying to see what went wrong
00:16:58I mean
00:16:59things were going so well
00:17:01we had
00:17:02chemistry
00:17:03how could he just
00:17:09walk out on me after I asked him to
00:17:12you know
00:17:14take your virginity
00:17:15just
00:17:15shh
00:17:16don't say that word
00:17:17what word
00:17:18what word
00:17:19for Jennifer
00:17:21there's nothing wrong with being the virgin Mar
00:17:24tell it to Trevor
00:17:25he hasn't talked to me since that night
00:17:27screw him
00:17:28that guy's got a reputation for a reason
00:17:30I'm just so used to achieving everything I set my mind to
00:17:34I've gotten straight A's, scholarships
00:17:35why can't I get a guy
00:17:37I don't think it works that way Mar
00:17:39you're right
00:17:40and you know what forget this stupid party
00:17:43I'd rather study anyway
00:17:44oh no
00:17:45we're going to that party
00:17:47we are
00:17:49yup
00:17:49and forget these dumb books
00:17:51all you need are Deb's three simple rules for getting over any guy
00:17:54Deb's three simple rules
00:17:56shh
00:17:57step one
00:18:04dress to impress
00:18:05okay
00:18:07but don't do it for any guy
00:18:09do it for you
00:18:11step one
00:18:13dress to impress
00:18:14check
00:18:15step two
00:18:17find someone new to flirt with
00:18:19basic frat bro
00:18:20check
00:18:21that's true Longhorn
00:18:22he's cute
00:18:24he's a chauvinist douchebag
00:18:26your words
00:18:28well I mean a girl can't look
00:18:29step three
00:18:34to really get over a guy
00:18:36you gotta put yourself out there
00:18:37show the world who Martha really is
00:18:40oh what's wrong
00:18:44I already did that Deb
00:18:47I put myself out there with Trevor
00:18:49showed him who I really am
00:18:50and he rejected me
00:18:51yeah but it's not
00:18:52no
00:18:53from now on
00:18:55I'm a closed book
00:18:56great
00:18:58this will be fun
00:19:00I'm a clutch and it busts down
00:19:10she don't let me she just want me for the team
00:19:12I know
00:19:12I mean how to draw
00:19:13I'm a kick in that one lot
00:19:15I don't met it
00:19:16all the wins at it
00:19:17you the new Betty
00:19:18it's a tough house
00:19:19that a man can't fool
00:19:21you can see a cake
00:19:22that a new kick came
00:19:23that it's insane since the day
00:19:25don't believe it
00:19:25so you just got a shot
00:19:26that I hope you're a trick
00:19:28but I don't like this lady
00:19:29oh yeah I don't know
00:19:30I don't know
00:19:31I don't know
00:19:32I don't know
00:19:33I don't know
00:19:34Trevor Holt
00:19:37he wasn't supposed to be here
00:19:40Trevor Holt
00:19:42he wasn't supposed to be here
00:19:44but now that he is
00:19:47Martha
00:19:47glad you could make it
00:19:50and you brought a friend
00:19:52Drew Longhorn
00:19:53in the flesh
00:19:54and you are
00:19:57Drew this is my best friend
00:19:59Deb
00:19:59it's a pleasure
00:20:01Debra
00:20:02oh my god
00:20:05what are you doing here
00:20:06hello to you too Trevor
00:20:08they're here with me Holt
00:20:10none of your concern
00:20:12can we talk
00:20:13alone
00:20:14I need a refill anyway
00:20:17Debra
00:20:19care to join me
00:20:21but you came here with Drew
00:20:22really
00:20:24why
00:20:25jealous
00:20:26after the kiss last week
00:20:28no
00:20:28he's right
00:20:29that was pretty much
00:20:32the worst kiss
00:20:33of all time
00:20:34I just thought
00:20:35it would be fun
00:20:36Martha
00:20:37this
00:20:37party
00:20:38these people
00:20:39it's not your thing
00:20:40oh yeah
00:20:41well maybe you don't know me
00:20:42as well as you think
00:20:43please you're an open book
00:20:44that's what I like about you
00:20:46Trevor
00:20:47up for a round of beer pong
00:20:49did someone say beer pong
00:20:51hello
00:20:52no
00:20:54yes
00:20:54maybe I'm not such an open book
00:20:57after all
00:20:57can't we talk about what happened
00:21:00there's nothing to talk about
00:21:01just give me a second to explain
00:21:03you
00:21:03who let you into this party
00:21:06who let you into this college
00:21:08have you ever even played beer pong before
00:21:10there's a first time for everything
00:21:12alright
00:21:13it's two to a team
00:21:15so who's it gonna be
00:21:17the clueless nerd
00:21:19or me
00:21:20her
00:21:21fine
00:21:22Drew you're on my team
00:21:24let's do this
00:21:24Debra
00:21:25are you in?
00:21:26oh uh no
00:21:27I am gluten intolerant
00:21:29I'll just watch
00:21:30you sure?
00:21:32positive
00:21:33you know what?
00:21:35what's up the stakes?
00:21:37what did you have in mind?
00:21:38what about
00:21:39strip beer pong?
00:21:41oh sweet
00:21:42come on Tua
00:21:43I'm game
00:21:45you don't even know how to play beer pong
00:21:47what are the rules?
00:21:48every time we sink a ball
00:21:50one of you removes a piece of clothing
00:21:52oh yeah
00:21:53and vice versa
00:21:56so if Trevor makes it
00:21:57nice trip
00:21:58seems easy enough
00:22:00come on Holt
00:22:01it's game time
00:22:02let's go
00:22:03ladies first
00:22:05hold on
00:22:12your form is way off
00:22:15may I?
00:22:15okay that's not even fair
00:22:31you practically gave that one to her Trev
00:22:33you're not afraid of a little competition
00:22:35are you Tila?
00:22:36oh please
00:22:38ladies
00:22:38ladies
00:22:39let me show you both
00:22:42how it's done
00:22:43great job
00:22:50my turn
00:22:56all right Trevor
00:23:02you know the rules
00:23:03you are so lame
00:23:06you're up
00:23:07want another lesson?
00:23:09I think I can handle myself
00:23:11I learn quick
00:23:13okay I call BS
00:23:16there's no way an amateur like her
00:23:18could have made that shot
00:23:19it's called studying Tila
00:23:21ever tried it?
00:23:22game time
00:23:24I guess I win
00:23:29no no no no no no no no no no no no stop
00:23:33you cannot leave
00:23:35not now
00:23:36didn't you see what happened back there?
00:23:38now everybody knows that Trevor Holt the guy with the one night stand box
00:23:42doesn't want to sleep with me
00:23:43oh Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor
00:23:45who cares Mar?
00:23:47he told the entire school that he passed up the opportunity to sleep with you
00:23:52hey
00:23:52the Martha I know
00:23:54doesn't give up
00:23:55okay
00:23:56the Martha I know
00:23:57succeeds at everything she sets her mind to
00:24:00the Martha you know
00:24:01is also still into some guy who rejected her
00:24:03I should hate him
00:24:06but I don't
00:24:07I can't
00:24:09a part of me still wants to be with him
00:24:12even after all that
00:24:14this is serious
00:24:16so hold my hand okay
00:24:17if Trevor
00:24:19can't see how amazing you are Mar
00:24:21then he doesn't deserve you
00:24:22but I know there's someone out there who does
00:24:25okay
00:24:26so just no no no like that
00:24:28okay great
00:24:29oh
00:24:29remember step three
00:24:32you gotta keep putting yourself out there
00:24:34okay
00:24:36okay
00:24:39wait
00:24:42I have an idea
00:24:45wait where are you going?
00:24:48I'm putting myself out there
00:24:50yes
00:24:51you go girl
00:24:52okay Martha
00:24:55you can do this
00:24:56hey everybody
00:24:58listen up
00:24:59wow there's a lot of you
00:25:03okay
00:25:04um
00:25:05uh well
00:25:06my name is Martha
00:25:07and as you may have heard
00:25:09Trevor Holt doesn't want to sleep with me
00:25:12but there's more to me than that
00:25:15so here goes
00:25:16Tilla James
00:25:18you called me a clueless nerd
00:25:21and you're right
00:25:23I'm a huge nerd
00:25:24I like to spend Saturday nights in my dorm room studying
00:25:27I mean last weekend was my first party
00:25:30can you believe that?
00:25:30I've been so busy studying
00:25:33that I think I've missed out
00:25:34on the important parts of college
00:25:35like
00:25:35getting to know myself
00:25:37I guess what I'm trying to say is
00:25:40I am clueless
00:25:43especially when it comes to love
00:25:48I've never slept with anyone
00:25:50or dated anyone
00:25:51but I don't care
00:25:53that I'm a virgin
00:25:55because when the time is right
00:25:58it will happen
00:25:59and it will be on my terms
00:26:00and I don't care
00:26:02if somebody doesn't want to sleep with me
00:26:04or if somebody doesn't like me
00:26:05because I like me
00:26:07just the way I am
00:26:10putting myself out there
00:26:17check
00:26:18I can't believe
00:26:19I just told everyone on campus
00:26:21that I'm a virgin
00:26:22whoo!
00:26:23whoo!
00:26:24whoo!
00:26:25whoo!
00:26:26whoo!
00:26:27whoo!
00:26:27whoo!
00:26:28whoo!
00:26:28whoo!
00:26:28whoo!
00:26:28whoo!
00:26:29whoo!
00:26:29whoo!
00:26:30whoo!
00:26:35whoo!
00:26:36whoo!
00:26:36whoo!
00:26:36whoo!
00:26:37Hi
00:26:38I'm Trevor
00:26:39ah
00:26:41some of you may know me as something of a
00:26:43a douche
00:26:45I'll admit, I've been with a lot of girls,
00:26:47but that's only because before any of you knew me,
00:26:51back in high school, someone broke my heart.
00:26:54When I got to college, I slept my way around campus
00:26:57to prevent myself from getting hurt again.
00:27:00I even developed a bit of a reputation,
00:27:02and I was fine with that.
00:27:05But the other night, everything changed when I met Martha.
00:27:10Martha, you're not just another one-night stand.
00:27:15You're amazing, and I'm sorry I pushed you away.
00:27:18I just, I didn't want to sleep with you
00:27:20because I wanted your first time to be special.
00:27:23And this may sound stupid coming from me,
00:27:25but I didn't want to rush it.
00:27:28I really, really like you, Martha.
00:27:31And I know I don't deserve it,
00:27:33but if you give me one more chance, I...
00:27:35Yes!
00:27:36What's that?
00:27:37I said yes.
00:27:39I will give you one more chance, Trevor Holt.
00:27:41I think you're funny, charming, and secretly sweet.
00:28:08And hot, like, so hot.
00:28:13Most of you already know me, but I'm Drew,
00:28:21and I really hate parties.
00:28:26Bro.
00:28:27Yeah, I always get nervous and wind up saying things I don't mean,
00:28:31making out with people I don't like.
00:28:33Bro.
00:28:33But today was different.
00:28:35Because today, I met someone I think I actually really do like.
00:28:40So maybe I don't have to go to any more of these stupid parties.
00:28:46I do love drinking, though.
00:28:49Woo!
00:28:51Look, I know you guys think I'm, like, really mean or whatever,
00:28:56but that's just because I'm brutally honest.
00:28:58And if you don't like it, that's your problem.
00:29:02Oh!
00:29:03Oh!
00:29:08Yeah!
00:29:09Oh!
00:29:15So there it is.
00:29:19That's how Trevor Holt, the hottest guy in school,
00:29:23started dating me, the virgin.
00:29:25But you'll just have to imagine the rest.
00:29:36I wonder if I look different now that I've...
00:29:55Hey, Dad.
00:29:58Oh my God, you did it, didn't you?
00:30:00Did what?
00:30:01You had sex with Trevor.
00:30:04Why would you say that?
00:30:06Oh my God, you're glowing.
00:30:08I won all the deets.
00:30:10It happened.
00:30:11I'm not a virgin anymore.
00:30:17Where did you get that?
00:30:18I found it in Drew's closet this morning.
00:30:21What were you doing in Drew's closet this morning?
00:30:23Yeah, no, Mar, you're not changing the subject.
00:30:26So how was it?
00:30:28It was nice.
00:30:29Is that his hat?
00:30:31Yeah, it still smells like him too.
00:30:35Oh my God, you're so in love.
00:30:38Oh, Deb, I have to hop on the study buddy Zoom.
00:30:40I'll call you later.
00:30:41Yeah, not a chance, Mar.
00:30:42You still have two minutes, so hurry up and dish the dirt.
00:30:46Fine.
00:30:47It was romantic.
00:30:50I mean, Trevor is an amazing kisser.
00:30:53He does the thing where he kissed along my jawline.
00:30:55Oh my God.
00:30:56Mark two minutes off of the kissing onto the good stuff.
00:30:59The kissing was the good stuff.
00:31:02What?
00:31:03The sex wasn't good?
00:31:04It was not the best.
00:31:07In what way?
00:31:09Okay, so you know that rumor about Trevor about his...
00:31:12Yes!
00:31:13God, yes.
00:31:14Sorry.
00:31:15Yes, I know.
00:31:16So it's true?
00:31:17And it was kind of uncomfortable?
00:31:21Yeah.
00:31:22Honestly, Mar, it's pretty uncomfortable for every girl their first time, no matter what their size.
00:31:28I've just been dreaming about this moment for as long as I can remember, and then it just happened.
00:31:35And it didn't feel great.
00:31:38I'm sorry, Mar.
00:31:39I wish they told us that.
00:31:41I wish I told you that!
00:31:43But I'm not lying when I say it does get better, though it just may never get better when Trevor.
00:31:49What do you mean?
00:31:50I mean, you gotta find the right match. Emotionally and physically. And then that's when things start getting real good.
00:31:59What if it wasn't good for him, either?
00:32:03I'm sure it was good for him.
00:32:05How do you know?
00:32:06He gave you his hat!
00:32:09Yeah, but he hasn't responded to any of my texts this morning. What if he woke up and he realized he's over me?
00:32:16Okay, first of all, he's probably still asleep, and secondly, I'm sending you an article on this. It is very sciency.
00:32:22I'm just gonna keep trying.
00:32:25That's what the article says!
00:32:27I'm gonna keep having sex with Trevor until we get it right.
00:32:30That's the spirit!
00:32:32Oh, Deb, I gotta go. I'm late for study buddies.
00:32:35Okay, call me later.
00:32:37Oh my god, seriously? You again?
00:32:46You're taking French 401?
00:32:48Yeah, Martha. I mean, who wouldn't want to take French porn?
00:32:51French what?
00:32:52French porn.
00:32:53The famous class on French cinema. I mean, it's all about hot French guys and threesomes.
00:33:00I think you're in the wrong class, Tilla. This is an advanced history class on the French Revolution.
00:33:06Oh my god. I can't believe I forgot that you're such a loser.
00:33:11Bye, Martha.
00:33:13Bye.
00:33:14Hi, I can see you. Hello?
00:33:31Hi, can you see me?
00:33:33Hello? I can see you.
00:33:37Oh. Is this video?
00:33:39Yes, this is a Zoom call for French 401.
00:33:42The class about the French Revolution, not porn!
00:33:44Sorry, I'm a bit of a virgin at this.
00:33:46Sorry, what?
00:33:48It's my first time.
00:33:49Uh, okay.
00:33:51Using Zoom.
00:33:53Right, yes, of course.
00:33:55Mine too, actually. Virgin. Still a virgin.
00:33:58What's this you're saying about porn?
00:34:00I was just saying that this is not a class on French porn.
00:34:04It's a class on the history of the French Revolution.
00:34:06Yeah, I know. I'm a history major.
00:34:09What's your major?
00:34:10Chemistry?
00:34:12I'm Brett, by the way.
00:34:15Martha.
00:34:17Uh, we should probably get to studying, huh?
00:34:21Yeah.
00:34:22So, what are your thoughts about Napoleon?
00:34:25Do you really think he had a small...
00:34:28I told you, this isn't French porn!
00:34:31I was going to say army, but I can see your mind's on something else today.
00:34:38Oh yeah, sorry.
00:34:40You're glowing. You know that?
00:34:42Do you need to grab that?
00:34:46Actually, uh, apparently it's pretty important, so I might...
00:34:51I'll call you right back.
00:34:52I'll be here waiting.
00:34:54What is so urgent?
00:34:58Mar?
00:34:59Trevor's dead.
00:35:01Mar?
00:35:02Trevor's dead.
00:35:03Hey!
00:35:04How are you doing today?
00:35:06Just another day without Trevor.
00:35:07Mar?
00:35:08It's time to take the hat off.
00:35:09I can't. It's all I have left of him.
00:35:11Yeah, it's been weeks, so just take it off and wash it.
00:35:16It's time to take the hat off.
00:35:21I can't. It's all I have left of him.
00:35:34Yeah, it's been weeks.
00:35:37weeks so just take it off and wash it. No. I still can't believe it. There he was just walking
00:35:47across the street carrying his one night stand box and then bam hit by a bus. I thought it was a car.
00:35:54I think it was a bus. No no no it was a car a tiny car like a Fiat. I still don't know why he was
00:35:59carrying a one night stand box. I heard that when they found him he had a pink thong on his face.
00:36:05Wonderful. The love of my life died wearing a thong on his face and it wasn't even mine.
00:36:11It's like I never knew love before Trevor and now I will never know love again. One sec.
00:36:22Where was I? Oh yeah maybe I should just join a convent. Do they take nuns if you're almost a
00:36:28virgin? Okay. Mara I love you. I do. But enough is enough. I cannot sit here and watch you hollow
00:36:36in despair okay? Trevor yes he's dead and yes that's sad but it is time to move on. I can't move
00:36:46on Deb. I loved him. You knew him for one week. He has been dead for four. He has been dead for longer
00:36:53than you knew him. Sorry. That's harsh. It's just that Trevor would want you to be happy and he would
00:37:01want you to find love. Yeah maybe you're right. Hang on one more second. It's Brett. He's going
00:37:11to be late for our study zoom again. Speaking of moving on. Oh my god. No way. What? Of course
00:37:21he is. He's hot and alive. He's also always late, would rather surf than study and yet gets straight
00:37:29A's by practically sleeping through class. Okay so you're just jealous because he's smarter
00:37:33than you. All I'm saying is that we don't have chemistry. Oh. What? Nothing. It's just this is
00:37:42nice. I've missed you. And I've really missed not telling you about the 25 times I had sex with
00:37:49Drew Longhorn. 25 times? Oh 26 actually. Oh my god. So how's the sex? Oh my god it's amazing. Oh really?
00:38:00Remember when I told you that when you meet your match it gets really good? Well he is my game set
00:38:06match. Tennis! What made the sex so good? Well he takes direction very well. You give him direction?
00:38:15Of course yes. How else is a girl supposed to get what she needs? And girl I got what I needed last
00:38:21night. Go on. You're blushing. What? No no no. But you should be. Why? Sex is a beautiful thing.
00:38:31What did he do that made it so good? Well remember how you kissed him at the drinker dare party? Yeah I
00:38:39remember. The night that Trevor pretended to be my boyfriend. Yeah remember this like crazy tongue
00:38:46thing that he did and he licked your whole face off? Mm-hmm. Let's just say that works better
00:38:53elsewhere. That was the night that Trevor gave me my first real kiss. The night that forever changed
00:39:00my life. Oh my god Martha stop it. What am I just too sad for you? Yeah actually you're really sad
00:39:09Martha because you know what I'm your best friend and all we ever talk about is you. When was the
00:39:14last time we talked about me? Literally just now. I have been sleeping with Drew for a month and you
00:39:20just heard about it. I'm sorry that I'm trying to process the death of my boyfriend. He was not
00:39:32your boyfriend. He was just some guy that you lost your virginity to. You're being a bitch. Good. Bye.
00:39:40What do you want? Martha. Oh hi Drew. What do you want? I was just calling to do a little
00:39:55undercover work. Yeah? You know a little secret detective. Just tell me what you want Drew. Okay
00:40:01sorry I was just wondering what's Deb's favorite color? Oh sorry uh it's orange. Thanks. Sorry to
00:40:09bother you. Yeah no problem. Sorry I snapped at you. I've just been having not a great day. That's
00:40:15Trev's hat isn't it? Yeah. I miss him so much. I've never had a friend die before. Me neither. I gotta
00:40:25get something off my chest. What? Trevor's death was my fault. You were there? No but he called me that
00:40:32morning. He told me that he was really serious about you and I didn't believe that he'd be serious until he
00:40:39got rid of the one night stand box. We were gonna burn the box together.
00:40:46He got hit when he was on his way over. Drew that that doesn't make it your fault. That doesn't make
00:40:52it your fault. Oh it feels like it. They say Trevor tried to get out of the way but his ankle seized up
00:40:59knee. Couldn't move. Stupid old injury. Sorry what injury? You know Trev hurt his ankle during football.
00:41:08Really? Yes and he heard it again like three weeks before he died. You didn't know that?
00:41:12I didn't know him then. What? I thought you guys were in love. We met the week before he died.
00:41:20What a whirlwind romance. Yeah I guess you could say that. So did you ever get to meet his twin sister?
00:41:25Trevor had a twin? Yeah. Taylor. Super hot. She goes to school here too. I guess I didn't meet her. You know I should probably
00:41:33introduce Deb to my family soon too. Just in case. In case you die? I think we're ready to take the next
00:41:40step. To make it official. That's actually sweet. Yeah I need to go buy her some orange flowers.
00:41:49Hey Drew what was Trevor's favorite color? The dude loved blue. You know he was almost
00:41:53going to go to Duke just because of school colors. He almost went to Duke? Yeah. I guess there's a lot
00:41:59he didn't know about them. I guess so. Anyways thanks for the intel Martha. Catch you later.
00:42:04Oh study buddies! Hello? Hey I wasn't sure if you're gonna make it. Yeah sorry I'm late. No don't apologize.
00:42:24I've been late a thousand times. Something I'm working on. You okay? Yeah Deb and I just got in a big fight
00:42:33about Trevor. Your ex-boyfriend who died? Yeah and then Drew called me and told me that I didn't really
00:42:40know him. Wow that's dickish. Oh he didn't actually say that and anyway he's right. How are you and Deb in
00:42:48a fight about someone who's dead? She thinks I'm wallowing and I need to move on. Well I think you
00:42:54should take as much time as you need. You know someone once told me it takes half the amount of time you're
00:42:59in the relationship to get over them. So it should have taken me three and a half days.
00:43:08You're not kidding.
00:43:12I only knew him for a week and we were in a fight for like half of that. I'm so confused. And he wasn't
00:43:18even my real boyfriend. I mean we had sex so he wasn't like not my boyfriend. Why am I telling you all
00:43:23this? No this is good this is good. It's starting to make more sense now. What that I'm a fool? No that
00:43:29you're still processing. You know it all happened so fast. Give yourself time. It'll heal. Thanks Brett.
00:43:38Oh it's Deb. Do you mind if I answer this? Go for it. I'll just be here reading about Napoleon's small army.
00:43:46Hey Deb. Martha. Hey Mar I am so sorry. I owe you a huge apology. Martha? Hello? No I do. You were just
00:44:00trying to help me. And you know what? You're right. I barely knew him. Did you know he almost went to Duke?
00:44:05Duke? Ugh. Anyway I'm really sorry for being a selfish friend and I promise I will always be here to
00:44:13listen to stories about Drew's tongue game. I should not be listening to this. And I'm sorry too Mar.
00:44:20Having sex for the first time is such a big deal. And then waking up the very next day and finding out
00:44:25that the guy you lost your virginity to is dead. Oh my god. Could you hear all of that? Yeah. No. Yeah.
00:44:37Yeah. I mean I wasn't listening but. How about you guys finish up your conversation and then we can pick this up.
00:44:43Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Bye. Oh my god.
00:44:53Hey Deb. I really can't talk right now. Brett and I have a big project due tomorrow and he's late with
00:44:58his part again. Deb? Deb what's wrong?
00:45:03Oh my god. Oh my god. You're pregnant? I don't even know how to hold it. I peed on it.
00:45:14Oh. I thought you guys used condoms. We use so many. We have so much sex and use so many.
00:45:24Well they do say the effectiveness is only 98% so this is a fascinating case study.
00:45:28Martha. Sorry not being helpful. Are you gonna keep it? I don't know. I have so many plans for my
00:45:38career I don't think I'm ready to be a mom. Well what did Drew say? Who doesn't know? Deb you have to
00:45:44tell him. I can't. He's taking me to see his parents tonight. He's taking me to see his parents tonight.
00:45:51Eek. He told me they're super traditional and they think Drew's a virgin and they're gonna think
00:45:56that I corrupted their son. Okay Deb. Drew loves you. I know he'll be supportive and I'm sure his
00:46:03parents will come around too. Oh that's him. What do I do? You tell the truth. Okay I'll call you later.
00:46:11Okay good luck. Well hello my beautiful lady. I require your assistance in selecting the appropriate
00:46:22attire for this evening. What do you think? Blue? Orange? Orange. It matches my dress. Is that new
00:46:29mascara you're wearing? You look so older. Um Drew B I have something that I need to tell you. Oh I already
00:46:38know what you're gonna say. You do? You're afraid my mom's gonna make you eat cheese. Cheese? But don't
00:46:45worry. I already explained the whole veganism thing to her anyway and she totally gets it now. She's
00:46:51making vegan meatloaf for dinner. I love vegan meatloaf. So are you excited to meet my parents tonight?
00:46:58Because they are stoked to meet you. Are you excited to meet my parents tonight? Because they are stoked to
00:47:04meet you. They're not gonna be very stoked about me. Are you kidding me? They're gonna absolutely
00:47:11love you. This is the first time I'm ever bringing a girl over. Oh no. Really? Yeah. Oh my mom's gonna
00:47:19absolutely adore you. Hey you my lady are perfect. Trust me okay. I'll see you soon.
00:47:27How'd it go? I couldn't tell him. Deb it's his baby. You have to tell him at some point. Nope. I just
00:47:40gotta make it through tonight. Because his parents are so excited to meet me and they won't be able to
00:47:46tell I'm pregnant because I'm just bloated. So I will tell him when we get home. Oh it's Brett. We gotta finish
00:47:56this assignment. You got this Deb. Okay. Got this, got this, got this, got this. Got this, got this, got this.
00:48:11I think I'm gonna puke more. Drinking on a Tuesday night, huh? Been there, done that. Oh, Tilla. Sorry, I thought you were Martha. What? Ew, no. Hey, hey,
00:48:39are you in the Longhorn's upstairs bathroom? Yes. I knew I recognized it. I puked there once during a rager.
00:48:50So, is Drew having a party? I've had dinner with his parents. Oh, the food's that bad? No, I'm just not feeling very well. Anyway, what do you want?
00:49:01Well, uh, that's no way to treat your favorite study buddy. All right, listen, I need help on our
00:49:08French porn homework. Can we just talk later? You look different. What do you mean? You look different.
00:49:16What do you mean? Oh my god. What? What? Are you pregnant? No. How can you tell?
00:49:26I have a sixth sense for these kinds of things. Oh my god, do you think his parents know? Oh my god,
00:49:33you haven't told Drew yet, have you? Everything okay in there, babe? Yes, fantastic. I am just changing my tampon.
00:49:44Well, my mom said that she wanted me to bring you some seltzer water. She thinks you look a little
00:49:48flushed. No. Was it the meatloaf? No, Drew B. I'm just taking a real big poop. You just go back into dinner
00:50:00and I'll see you in a minute. Uh, okay. Let me know if you need anything. Will do.
00:50:05Say no. She totally knows. Okay, Mrs. Longhorn is oblivious. She thinks all girls are angels.
00:50:14She even called me an angel one time after I threw up a liter of vodka in her bathroom.
00:50:19How do I get out of this? Just, uh, go back out there and tell them you were up late studying
00:50:26and you feel like shit. And then go home with Drew and fess up. Okay. Thank you, Dilla. That was weirdly helpful.
00:50:36No biggie.
00:50:43Are you mad at me, babe? No. Is it because I kissed Martha one time? I didn't even know you back then.
00:50:50No. Did my parents say something to upset you? I ruined everything tonight. No, you didn't, babe.
00:50:57My mom loved you. She said that you're, you're like an angel. If only they knew I corrupted their son.
00:51:04Babe, what are you talking about? Check my purse.
00:51:10Um, what am I looking for?
00:51:26Oh my god. I'm so sorry. Yeah! Woo! Oh man! What? I thought you'd be devastated.
00:51:36What about your parents? Devastated? Babe, my mom loves babies. You know what this means though, right?
00:51:51Deborah Davis, will you? Period! Period! Period! I have my period!
00:52:00Oh! Game, set, match!
00:52:15Hey, what's up? Guess what? What?
00:52:19I have an exciting study sesh planned for us tonight that doesn't include books.
00:52:23Um, how is that studying? You'll see. First, I need you to turn off all of your lights.
00:52:29Uh, what? Just, just do it. Quick!
00:52:36And then, turn on those little twinkly lights above your bed.
00:52:39Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to learn anything?
00:52:42Martha, a little trust please.
00:52:45So are you going to tell me what we're doing, or?
00:52:48The History Channel is streaming a Napoleon biopic, which covers everything in our current chapter.
00:52:54Really? Yeah, and I thought we could watch it together.
00:52:57That actually sounds fun. I'm going to send you the link.
00:53:01Ooh, I wish I had popcorn or something.
00:53:04Yeah, that would be nice.
00:53:06All right, I'm going to start it.
00:53:08Oh wait, hold on one second.
00:53:24Weird! This takeout delivery staff just showed up and I didn't even order anything!
00:53:29I did.
00:53:32What?
00:53:33Yeah, I thought we'd get hungry, so I ordered us French food.
00:53:36Because of Napoleon.
00:53:38Uh, I'm sorry.
00:53:39Not to be a downer or anything, but this isn't studying.
00:53:44It's not supposed to be.
00:53:46Huh?
00:53:46It's a date, Martha.
00:53:50Hi.
00:53:51Oh, uh, sorry, I'm confused.
00:53:55I've been wanting to ask you out, but I wasn't sure if you were ready yet after Trevor.
00:54:01So I thought I'd act like it was a study thing and see how you felt at the end.
00:54:06That's actually really sweet.
00:54:09Brett, but this is not going to work.
00:54:12Why?
00:54:13Are you kidding me? We're study buddies.
00:54:15What's going to happen if this date doesn't go well and then things get awkward and we get a
00:54:19bad grade on the assignment and then I flunk out of class?
00:54:22Okay, if we weren't study buddies, then would you be interested in me?
00:54:28Well, yeah, I guess.
00:54:32Why are you blushing?
00:54:34I didn't say the word virgin.
00:54:35Brett!
00:54:37Look, my motto is to live in the now.
00:54:39So worrying about how this could get awkward in the future, it's pointless.
00:54:43Uh, okay.
00:54:44And if it does get awkward, I'll still be glad I tried.
00:54:48That's a bad choice.
00:54:50I live my life from one awkward moment to the next and I do not recommend it.
00:54:55Well, you should.
00:54:56You know, tons of good things come out of scary conversations.
00:54:59Uh, such as?
00:55:00Such as going on a date with a girl you like.
00:55:02Like, if you're not doing things that scare you, you're not living life.
00:55:07You know what?
00:55:11I guess you have a point.
00:55:13All right, let's do the state.
00:55:17Excellent.
00:55:19Bon Appetit.
00:55:20These reforms brought rejoicing to many.
00:55:24So, question.
00:55:27If you knew you were going to die in the next 30 days, how would you spend the next month?
00:55:33Well, this month I'm in the chem lab for like 30 hours and then-
00:55:35But you're going to die.
00:55:37Dead.
00:55:38Why would you go to the chem lab?
00:55:40Because I'm mid-experiment.
00:55:41Martha, burn the planner.
00:55:44I like plans.
00:55:45I like to know what's going to happen next.
00:55:47Is this date putting you on edge?
00:55:49No.
00:55:50Are you having just a little bit of fun?
00:55:52Yes.
00:55:53But you don't know what I have planned next.
00:55:56Oh no.
00:55:57No, I'm not going to do anything crazy.
00:56:00I just think sometimes you're so worried about checking off boxes
00:56:04that you're going to miss out on what's happening right in front of you.
00:56:06You're an eat dessert first kind of person, aren't you?
00:56:09You know it.
00:56:13Okay, if I was going to die in 30 days, I'd go to the beach more.
00:56:20Amazing.
00:56:21I'd spend all my money on an expensive designer jacket.
00:56:25There you go.
00:56:26And I'd find someone to kiss.
00:56:29A lot.
00:56:30Me too.
00:56:31Kissing's the best.
00:56:33Kissing's the best.
00:56:34I know.
00:56:36What's your favorite place to be kissed?
00:56:37Huh.
00:56:38I guess I'd have to say my sharp edges.
00:56:44What does that mean?
00:56:45My jawline, collarbone, even my fingers.
00:56:49It kind of reminds me where I start and stop.
00:56:53This is embarrassing.
00:56:55No, I think it's sexy.
00:56:57What about you?
00:56:58Where in the world would you like to be kissed?
00:57:01Like in your apartment or walking down the street?
00:57:06The ocean.
00:57:07Wow, that sounds dreamy.
00:57:09It is.
00:57:11Have you ever had sex on a beach?
00:57:12No, I'm kind of inexperienced, remember?
00:57:16Right, right.
00:57:17Well, don't, is what I was going to say.
00:57:20You don't have to do that.
00:57:21No, no, it's not.
00:57:22It's saying it's in your butt crack.
00:57:24It's horrible.
00:57:25Yeah, when they do it in the movies, it looks horrible.
00:57:30Hey, I'm sorry.
00:57:32Yeah, I didn't mean to make you feel bad.
00:57:34No, it's fine.
00:57:35It is what it is.
00:57:36You know it doesn't matter, right?
00:57:37Sure it does.
00:57:39Most people my age have had tons of sex.
00:57:41There you go, checking off those boxers.
00:57:43And that is also not true.
00:57:46My roommate is a virgin.
00:57:47Great, but I don't want to die only having had sex one time
00:57:51and only kissing two people.
00:57:53That's pathetic.
00:57:54What if you only kissed two people, but one of them was your perfect match?
00:57:58Okay, you know what?
00:57:59Let's say you're right.
00:57:59What if I did only kiss two people, and what if one of them was my perfect match?
00:58:05And now he's dead.
00:58:07No, I didn't.
00:58:08Yeah, you sure did.
00:58:09So yeah, I found my guy.
00:58:11We kissed, we had sex, it wasn't even that good.
00:58:14It never is the first time.
00:58:15Thanks, I've been told.
00:58:17And so now he's dead, and I can either have a thousand bad kisses
00:58:21or never kiss anyone again.
00:58:22And you know what?
00:58:23If any of those kisses are anything like Drew Longhorns,
00:58:25I think I'd rather kiss no one.
00:58:29Not even me?
00:58:31I think I'd rather kiss no one.
00:58:36Not even me?
00:58:53You did this, didn't you?
00:58:54I have no idea what you're talking about.
00:58:57The guitarist, outside my window.
00:59:00Oh come on, he has a sign that says For Martha.
00:59:04Okay, all right.
00:59:05I asked my roommate to play romantic French music, but he insisted on playing Spanish guitar.
00:59:12That's really sweet.
00:59:13You know what?
00:59:14I tried, but failed.
00:59:16This has just been one complete disaster.
00:59:19No, it wasn't at all.
00:59:20No, it's okay.
00:59:21We can end this now.
00:59:22I'll call my roommate and we'd be done with it.
00:59:24No, don't, please.
00:59:26This is actually one of the best dates I've ever been on.
00:59:30And no one's ever really planned a whole night like this just for me.
00:59:33Look, I realize that you haven't been on many dates, and that is fine.
00:59:38But crying in the middle of it, it's not a good sign.
00:59:44And look, I should never have pushed you so far out of your comfort zone.
00:59:48It's not okay.
00:59:53I'm so sorry, Brett.
00:59:54No, don't apologize.
00:59:57No, you planned the sweetest date ever and I brought up my dead boyfriend and cried.
01:00:03Hello, I'm Martha and I ruin everything.
01:00:06No, you didn't ruin anything.
01:00:09Because that would mean I don't like you anymore.
01:00:11And I think I'm into you now more than ever.
01:00:14How is that even possible?
01:00:16Because, you know, you're incredibly real.
01:00:18And I'm not trying to figure out what you're thinking because, let's be honest,
01:00:23you say it out loud all the time.
01:00:25That's not a good thing.
01:00:28Well, I think it is.
01:00:29So, any other surprises?
01:00:37No, that was the last one.
01:00:39Then, while our guitarist is on a break, I want to play you this new song I'm into.
01:00:44Okay, cool.
01:00:45But there's one condition.
01:00:48We have to dance.
01:00:49Like, in our rooms?
01:00:52Or you want me to come over?
01:00:54No, no, no.
01:00:55Stand up, right here, right now.
01:00:58Dance with me.
01:00:58Okay.
01:01:02For you to come and make it right.
01:01:05I thought you never heard me.
01:01:08Like the way you did tonight.
01:01:10Wait, hang on.
01:01:11I got the best idea.
01:01:14Oh!
01:01:28I don't need you.
01:01:29I don't need you.
01:01:30I don't need you.
01:01:31I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't need you.
01:01:34I don't need you.
01:01:35I don't need you.
01:01:37That was so much fun.
01:01:39Yeah.
01:01:40I haven't danced like that in a long time.
01:01:42Me neither.
01:01:44Hey, I had a really great time tonight.
01:01:46Like, really great.
01:01:47Yeah, yeah, me too.
01:01:50Martha?
01:01:50Yeah?
01:01:51I really hope you kiss more than two people in your lifetime.
01:01:53Oh yeah?
01:01:55How come?
01:01:55Because I plan on being number three.
01:01:57I'd like that.
01:02:00All right, I'll talk to you soon.
01:02:14Hey nerd.
01:02:15Why are you calling me?
01:02:17Well, I heard you and Brett are talking.
01:02:20Or whatever.
01:02:21And that is your business, how?
01:02:24Well, there's something you should know about Brett.
01:02:28What?
01:02:30Well, there's something you should know about Brett.
01:02:32I'll talk to you soon.
01:02:33I'll talk to you soon.
01:02:34I'll talk to you soon.
01:02:35I'll talk to you soon.
01:02:36Bye.
01:02:37Bye.
01:02:38Bye.
01:02:39Bye.